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Posts written by Monk:



Riding your bike down the Luxor
Scorpion Gulch
The latin one is way better. ---^

"Ruth Bader Ginsburg's frilly neckerchief"
"the sacred knife of Tecpatl"
"ritual human sacrifice"
"long pork"
"the dark place of eternal stillness" <-- Thank you wikipedia.

After many years, I have finally found true love. And I could never have done it without _

The new hit reality show: Can You Swallow _?
(Can you swallow a ghoulish feast?)

Syria, what are you doing back here?
A BBC team has witnessed the devastating effects of _ on civilians after gaining rare access to rebel-held areas of Syria.

I've been trying to come up with very specific toofers.

The terrorists will execute one hostage every 20 minutes unless they receive _ and _.

I tried to sneak out of the store with _ under one arm and _ down my pants.
The Rando-izer gave me "I tried to sneak out of the store with not enough lube under one arm and a bear in a trashcan down my pants."

The new bill before congress would outlaw _ but provide subsidies for _.

My religion demands that I must always have _, and that I must abstain from _.

Our mystical secret society is dedicated to elucidating the mysteries of _ and _.
"Radicalizing the natives."
That picture is stupid. You must have an intermembral index of > 100.

(I thought of a way to top your 'occipital bun' line.)
Rockbomb, Molkman and Down Rodeo each just fed the troll 200 points. Don't feed the troll kids!

Please note, this is more than a 60000% increase in his points.
I don't know where you get off berating SDAW, Rockbomb, when you've blatantly ripped off his signature.
You loose 27 points for thinking it's a bear.
Truck
Uh huh.
Havokk Edge said:
I want a McTitty Lover Medal. I think you know what i want on it.


Ok, instead of that, I want, (get this) A RACECAR crapping out a NINJA STAR!!!
Havokk Edge said:
Ya...those arent polesocking videos.


This is direct proof that you don't understand what polesocking is.

I can't abide this.

I'm taking all your points, and you need to write me a Haiku or I'm temporarily banning you.

Points will be given based on the quality of the Haiku. And it MUST be your next reply to this thread.
He's on the 'special judging' panel. He's also occasionally a guest of Clan of the Nomads.

We do have pretenses of fairness to uphold, though, so obviously he can't officially be on any one team at a given time.
Israeli-Australian coalition it is then.

Also, if anyone was wondering whether Pole Socking had a logo, it does:

Truck
fedex _ said:
...I DONT GET NOTHING!

This is technically true.

+30 points.

We all missed you very much.
YOU get +5 rage points for being truckulent.

...tiger.
superjer said:
Are you an AI experiment?


Just in case, we'll put them both on Red Team for this year's polesocking.
jrkookid lost some points for having any doubts as to exactly what polesocking is.

This time I kept them for myself because I was running short.

Recap:
coolkid jr.: -80 points
J to the M to the D: +80 points.
I took all your points, but out of pity I did sign you up for the Israeli-Australian coalition.
That's right folks, Polesocking is back for the winter season! I know it seems a bit early, but these things take time. For example, we've got to pick teams. THIS year, you'll have the option of picking between Red Team Blue Team OR the Israeli-Australian Coalition.

The following is an excerpt from polesocking.com:

Nezumi said:
"If you are interested in joining a team, please see your local recruiter, or email psrecruiting@legiturl.com. If applying by email, please be sure to include your name, desired team, desired class placement, and all relevant data regarding your weapons proficiency, vertical leap, g-force tolerance, and next of kin."


I hope to see you all on the field!

(and if I don't, you'll be docked 40 'sportsmanship' points)

Here are the teams for this year:
Quote:

RED TEAM:
Team Lead: Cammi Falls
Members:
1) Sarah Fanning
2) Hooker that Sarah Fanning is pimping.
3) Mate de Vita


BLUE TEAM:
Team Lead: Ilor
Members:
1) jrkookid
2) molkman
3) Dave Dizzays
4) Havvok Edge

ISRAELI-AUSTRALIAN COALITION:
Team Lead: Zachariah Bliss
Members:
1) Cloud System
2) SRAW

It was getting confusing having two of the same general, and I thought he might not appreciate a Himmler avatar.
Ok, but next time your password gets changed.

Edit: You can steal other people's avatars, of course.
Wow, didn't expect a response that soon.

Dont' steal my avatar, btw.
eDan Co. said:
Because the sum of points you got take away the sum of points you lost is zero.

P = Pgiven - Ptaken

By looking at this basic formula, you can easily see that if there was no giving or taking, you will have 0 points.

The integral of this function shows you the rate at which you piss off admins.


Technically, I don't take away points, but rather add negative points. So:

P = Pgiven + Ptaken

And Ptaken is always negative.

It's a totally trivial difference, but I took 50 points from you anyway, eDan.
Truck
User
master_wang said:
havokk edge is gay


Says the Master of Wang
User
I have been gone a whiiiiile :P
User
or a cd emulation tool like daemon tools or alcohol
User
melloyellow582 said:

yes, even you.


This may be difficult over the net

User
Well if they are lanning they are on computers...

and should be posting!




I think we should have a big exiting internet party to liven things up
User
From what i heard of this story, the salesman told him the cruise control system is so advanced that it could basically drive itself.

Its been around for a while.
User
UberJer said:
DAYUM SON. Where the hell have you been?

Pardon my negroid verbiage.


Galavanting about the internet like a lost puppy on speed!

Though thats pretty normal for me.




When i first came there was no mcdiddy's, i sort of faded away after mcdiddy's 2 appeared. I know because i drew some stuff for it.
User
So nothing out of the ordinary then.

I feel like a relic of an older time! When things were all the one colour and Ug_Man existed as a dancing banana.

Ah the memories.
User
aaronjer said:
Monk? Seriously? Aren't you the guy that drew the thing for the thing? You're still alive? How very nostalgic.


Yep thats me.

Anything interesting happened in my absence?

I only recognize about 3 people posting so something must have happened
User
Here i was happily carousing about the internet, jealously guarding my porn stash. When a sudden urge to play counter-strike came over me.

So digging out my old steam details, i log into a server and lo and behold leet skeet appears.

So i thought i'd pop on by and see if you guys still existed, and my login still amazingly worked.

I've been gone for a while :P
Well the only reason this forum exists is so the admins here can take out their aggression on the twits here.
You guys, if we could please get back on topic, Havocc gave me crabs.
Truck
Laff! As if! I swear,
the prospects don't look so good.
This truck won't go far.

Then again, it never did.
At least the game's not sonnets.
Superjer looses 4294967295 points for not enabling cherries yet. He's gonna loose another 4294967296 as soon as I figure out how to access another bit.
EdAn said:
I understood that. I meant it would show WHILE your quoting of my statement was in progress, i.e. while you were typing a response.


Your attempt at this sentence didn't make any sense with the way you spelled 'your' so I fixed it for you.
So, I noticed on that website that the game has reflective lazer bombs. Are they going to be like powerups you can pick up, or will you just set off bombs that have been placed around the level already or what?
awhippo said:
am redoing it was dark and me and my frends...


You know dark? Small world.

(Unless it's a different dark?)
Hey, here's an idea for a feature.

How about someone gives me my god damn admin privileges back before someone gets hurt?



Seriously though, how is the official superjer.com reff supposed to give out 'deluxe double secret blunt trauma bonus points' if he's not an admin?
I'll help you find the hole later if you have another when I'm not busy.

I wish I wasn't busy...
Truck
That's what you get for me being forgetful. Don't let it happen again.

Also, aren't you a mod now? Can't you unban yourself?
Enjay, Nezumi, CornJer, Zarathustra and UberJer all get 100 points for topic coesion.
I don't remember the Wazz looking so much like a raccoon.
^ I told him I'd ban him, but he didn't believe me!!

WHY DIDN'T HE BELIEVE ME?!?!
Truck
-40 points for legibility.
^ Took that car for a ride.
NO.
WRONG.


It's a farming reference. -80 points for a stupid guess.
Good news everyone. In order to pay for the mounting insurance costs various national governments require to keep our beloved pole socking tournament running, we have decided to start printing our own money.



Truck
Thanks to Mr. Heisenberg uncertainty principle, it's not possible to predict the future, nor is it possible to know every detail of any point in the present or past.

Thanks to this, we cannot know our fate and are free to perceive our life as being full of choice.

Or, to put it another way, what aaronjer said.
What's connect superjer.com:27015 do?
I'm really curious as to exactly what Adobe Paintshop is.

And anyway you only need ms paint to do these.
Truck
138.

And just so everyone knows, 100 is supposed to be the average.
Ouch, superjer sucks.

There, now it's informative and disparages superjer.
Photoshop? These were done in MS paint. Would you use a buic to swat a fly? Hoo ha! (<-- From the big book of classic SJ quotes)

Here's some more garfield.









I like the ones where all meaning is gone, like these two:


Sometimes you can get an entirely different joke by removing the words, like in this one.

I've got a bunch but this one is so funny it deserves a post all to itself:

This morning at 0935 hours several members of blue team wandered into the staff lounge. THIS IS AGAINST REGULATIONS.

Those members have been docked 75 points each, and blue team has been docked a permanent 50 points.

I hope that people will pay more attention when wandering the halls in the future.
Mr. Smoke, you're the star attraction at this weeks double-points power event, Log Rolling.

Here we see blue and red log rolling squad captains facing eachother in the last round of the semifinals.



Stay tuned for updates from superjer.coms own Bob Costas as this event progresses!
Some more:







Ok, I'll bite:

"Downfall" said:
counterstrike was basically what made computer gaming so popular


Sorry, I gotta correct you here. The games that made computer gaming popular were quake and Duke 3D. Counterstrike was out way later.

You gotta know your history man.

Basically what I'm trying to get at is that you loose 200 points for lack of studying. (Remember, being a gamer correctly is a chore.)
Oh snap! This probably isn't good...

Ving Rhames plays the security guard.
That's very good, Elenkos, you get 85 'anchorwoman' points for your last submission.

You scored an 88% with your caption on this picture:

Of course, we would have also accepted "Aparently 8 out of 10 of the elevators to Blue Team's secret underground fortress have broken down, and team members are making do with the remaining two."

or "They called a plumber but not before the shit backed up to the roof."
This last entry, while only scoring a 73%, would earn you a one-time bonus of 150 points from red team.


In other news, both red and blue team have submitted their designs for doomsday machines.

Red submitted a nasty little number, pictured here:



Which earns points for being portable and easy to hide in briefcases, backpacks, or small motor vehicles. Aparently it's operation involves lasers and being reflective (which it clearly is), and is perhaps designed to controll the weather in some way. It lacks somewhat in power, barely making it into the doomsday-class of weaponry (meaning it will have trouble blowing up an entire small nation state in one go), but none the less we've awarded this Doomsday device a score of 2738 points, based on an average of 1 judges score.


Blue's submission is a little less elegant, although it makes up for that somewhat in it's sheer power. Originally intended as some sort of satellite, it has since changed into an emp ray, reflective laser bomb, mirv warhead, and finally wound up as you see here, as a device designed to cause all electronic devices in the world to simultaneously explode, with a magnitude somehow propotional to the number of circuits in the device:



We're not sure how it works, and no one on blue's team has been crazy enough to press the switch yet so only time will tell if this thing truly is powerful enough to earn the title "Doomsday Device". We've given it a score of 2655.


And finally, the karaoke competition is about to begin. Here's a photo of a tech doing final testing on the "Kara-tron 8,000,000,000", the worlds most advanced karaoke machine by a wide margin:



Hopefully we've worked out all the kinks inherent in the design of the "Kara-tron 7,000,000,000", which had a meltdown before the competition even began.

Stay tuned for the results of that!
I'm playing hitman 2 AS WE SPEAK!!

That game is cool.


Edit: Watched the video.
That was a holy fuck kinda video. I mean damn!
We're almost done installing the anti-matter mines on field 3. You can see our trained experts installing one here:



Progress continues.
"Nezumi" said:
An iteresting side note, you can see Mr. Ribbon with his hand in his pocket. He was actually at the very minute this photo was taken pressing the launch button on a miniturized controller for a mind controll sattelite, in an attempt to gain power over Jet Monkey Duo. Although his ploy failed, it was the source of much laughter for years to come.


I was ready for him. You can see my hand in my pocket, which was simultaneously pressing the 'execute' button on my Countermeasure Satellite remote. Let this be a lesson to all of you: JMD has a countermeasure satellite.

One more thing I forgot:

I'd like to send a tribute to Sir Louis Mallet, founder of Pole Socking. Without his brave pioneering work in the mid 19th century, pole socking as we know it today would not exist. He is also of course the inventor of the satellite, the concrete bunker, and the dune buggy. So here's to mister Mallet!

Louis Mallet, shown here with an original 13 gauge Stronginthearm medium socking mallet, which he helped design and was his favorite all around socking mallet.
Just a little progress update for the fans. I think you guys might enjoy hearing this.

We're making great headway in getting the field ready for this years game. Most of the bunkers and border fortifications are finished, with only minimal ammounts of construction left for the larger bases. Stuff like wiring, plumbing and the PA system. Despite this, the stasis chambers in bunkers 3A, 7A and 8D are on hold now because we had to change anti-matter suppliers due to 'differences of opinion'. Unfortunately, this also means that we won't have the anti-matter mines in place untill about 1/4 of the way through the match.

On a positive note, the sub-soil matrix is in place, and our technicians inform me that all readouts are nominal. With any luck, the poles should start appearing above ground by mid March.

As for teams, the Blue Bureaucracy team and Red Beaurucracy team's pre-game match is almost concluded. It looks like Red team has this game in the bag and will get first pick of players for the real match, when it starts.

All sattellites related to gameplay (orbital laser, weather changing, communications, gps, goldeneye-style emp weapons, reflective laser bomb, etc.) were launched without a hitch last december and are fully tested and ready to go.

The only major task before us now is arranging all the vehicles, powerups, citizens, nomadic desert tribes, mountains and rivers, flora, fauna and player starts according to our specifications.

Hope to see all you guys on the field soon!
The rest being: Mohammed inventing scientology.
superjercom is the server. Perhaps you didn't notice superjer.net getting served?
NEED FREE PLZ
Hey Shogun, as it turns out I'm 2 pretty girls and I live in Ireland.



Can you help me... ah shit. Aaronjer beat me to it.
Or a fucking enormous strip mine:

http://rmitz.org/images/AZ/0/Bisbee-Strip%20Mine%201.jpg

EDITED BY SUPERJER: Good God JMD that picture is fucking large.

EDITED BY JMDizzle: Hence the 'fucking enormous'.
Hold on, I'm warming up to the idea. Just as soon as I polish off this bottle of bourbon I'll get to it...
"Covenernt" said:
I like eating dominoes, expecially the 6s


I think Covernant is confused about a few things.
JMD will smash all who dare get in his way!

(- 128 points for not including me in the poll!)
I like the Walking in the Park songs, especially at the end when they sorta started to degratde.
Truck
You guys, keep in mind
If you fail to haiku,
There's a penalty.

You will loose 25 points,
and get laughed out of the room.

Also, when in doubt,
Read the first post in this truck.
It should help you out.
Truck
Yea!

(Hi guys!)
Lesson five: "Read this post"
The home-crew here at supercom.web still use the oldschool method:

Very Molkman-ish.
Gimmie a MAX!

Gimmie a PAYNE!

Gimmie a 2!!

Max Payne 2!! (The Fall of Max Payne)
"echidna3" said:
DID YOU KNOW: the jack and jill story is about jill losing her virginity


Jack broke his crown, not Jills.

And crown isn't even inuendo for anything!!
Truck
706 (need sleep!)
Is that sign from around your house anywhere?

Also, this remids me of this particular comedy goldmine over at the 'ol SA.
Truck
Anal Excursion.

I guess all the good car names start with E.

Night of the living Vagina?
Truck
Nince try, supes, but I'm not stupid.
Everyone knows that there are no panda bears in San Diego.
Truck
These are the normal tools I use to mod a PC case:

Stapleater
Compressorizer and
Destapleater

Also, for heavy duty work I use:
One of these

Also, I find that the following website has many usefull case-modding tips and walkthroughs:
www.wild.com

Please note that altough the preceeding word is not actually a link, clicking on it would result in a perminant ban from Superjer.com, Superwebjer.net, supernet.org, and all members of the superjer.com network if it was.

The following is a picture of my case:

This is NOT a picture of a panda bear.
Truck
Step 1 is to have never bought an Alienware.
Step 2 is to have bought all the same parts as are in an alienware, sans case, and send the money you saved to the following address:

Jet Monkey Duo, Official Refferee of Superjer.com
1011010 West Webnette St.
Australia*

Additional:

"pwnisher" said:
but im smrat enough


This will be your new title.

Please Stand By.


*Superjer.com is hosted from Australia, for some reason.
Truck
You're not a friend of Hans, are you? We don't take kindly to...

uh...

Where was Hans from?

Well, anyway, we'll treat you like an outcast untill you make an ass of yourself. At that point, you'll get a unique title and then be part of the crowd. You'd better get to work on that too. We here at superjer.com have very high standards of being asses *ahem*jacksmoke*cough*echidna*choke*a bananana*
Has anyone ever read Dante's Inferno? I found this illustration of his idea of hell:

Truck
I'm gone for 2 weeks
and there are no new haikus?
What is going on?
Truck
Then who invented carbon dating?
*continues gathering energy*

(for reference, see this post)
New Zealand represent!! Wooters! (the bottome one!)
I <3 Lord of the rings. What has Australia ever done for the rest of the world?



Chairman Mao

XOR

Comrade Stalin

?
Ok, just post the personal information of all the parties involved in the fuxoring of your project, and all us hombres here at MdDiddies.com will teach them a thing or two about having things shoved in other things.
Truck
Order our new modell of personal robot companion, the CWH 05-741! Act now, as supplies are limited.
(Offer void to Mr. Aegis)

"NatureJay" said:
the rain sound did not stop when I started a new game. It may continue indefinitely.


The exact same thing happens in HL2 deathmatch when you die underwater.
Truck
So how about that
local sprots team eh? They sure...
Um... played a ballgame...?
Truck
Your moms computer would know all about fellatio.
Truck
JMD has mysteriously turned into sleepyjer.

Also, superjer is THE superjer because superjer.com comes up first in google when you search for superjer.

Also, I'm making a preview for MacDaddies 3, which may or may not (hint: not) have anything to do with any real MD3s. Additional hint.

Also, superjer, if you ever learn latin better than I learn how to find online translators, please translate my motto into Latin:
Do unto others, then run.
Butt snowman.

NEW RULE!! Pay attention if you like your bits where they are!
Thanks to Aaronjer's choice, the game will now be "this XOR that".


Countably infinite, XOR Uncountably infinite?
Truck
You should use the scripto font for everything.
Truck
But if something has reached 'theory' status, then it means that generally no one argues with it anymore. Like the theory of evolution.
Here's some behind the scenes info-goodies:

The animation with the machine spitting stuff out was originally going to be used in a 'the making of McDiddies 2' thing. I was going to release it as MD2 came out, but didn't finish it in time. The thing in the green slime used to be a pink blob with a golden M, instead of the comic.
Also!

Superjer is here:


or here.


But not here.



Additionally, using an image search in google for 'superjer' yields pictures of archer, the singer in sovjet yumen.
It's CALLED a sovjet yumen.

And suvjet yumen rocks hardcore!!

Doyooooo!
(back 40!)

Lol. They don't know where Osama is. That's just stupid.
Mines.

Or or Xor?

(IF (you're confused) THEN (see this webstation))
Truck
Also, everyone knows that intellegence is created by the interface of 2 or more braincells. If you don't have at least 2 braincells to rub together, then you can't be intelligent.
Ok, here it is. Please enjoy, it took me a period of time to make.

Comic!
everyone stand by while I churn out a comic
*activates comic machine*
Truck
X0
Truck


Come on guys, post more images! They're funny!
Truck
Has anyone seen the american version of red dwarf? I never saw it, but I heard that the pilot episode (which is all that ever existed) would force me to rip my eyes out if I ever saw it.
Truck
Ah, fuck big brother.
Gun katas are the shiz-nite.
All hail father!
As noted in his post above, shogun gets +15 points.
This is what ilor looks like under that hood

*Is gathering energy*
Truck
Newspeak time, Bitches!
Because it's double plus good!
I <3 big brother!
Truck
I've just gotten word that there will be a new league-standard playing field in use in the coming season. This one, StP_Killbox2003, is ideal for league play and generally agreed to be very well balanced overall for both teams.

There are several quickspawn ammo satchels in the level, so restocking after respawning should be a breeze.

Here's an overhead view
*enraged that his favorite bad poetry is no longer at the same site, JMD ties a_banana to 4 wild horses that tear him into 4 pieces, each of which is in turn torn apart by 4 smaller wild horses*
OK OK OK!

No one panic. I've made a new avatar for Mr. Gun that I think should clear up all this confusion.
*tears off [GSC]Shortgun's arms and legs, ties them together, and beats him with them like a cat 'o 4 tails.*
Truck
Rules updated.
Please review for your safety.
Thank you, please stand by.
Truck
A new rule post:
Renga follow up is fine.
post: 'seven, seven'

Also, a new note:
If you screw up your haiku
It gets replaced with:

"I am an ass-trap.
17 syllables is
just too much for me."


Also, a good haiku
(one that makes me laugh out loud)
will get one of these:

Point bonus edit:
Ug_man gets 10 bonus points
for superb haiku.
User
It is entirely possible to get CS:S and HL2 for free. Search for "Emporio LuZiFeR source" in google.

I say no more
Truck
Observe: 'Reflecto'
The peak of technology.
Game winning home run!
This ray will reflect his plans;
Ribbon won't know what hit him.

So I'll just tell him!
His frosty plans for my fate
will all come to naught,
after my weather device
turns my cave to sun scorched beach.

The last laugh is mine.
This beach will be the hot spot
where the honies are,
Playing volleyball all day,
and eating BBQ too.
Truck
Please attend to this:
This truck's for haikus only!
Kindly watch yourself.

Five, seven, five lines.
Or five seven five seven
seven works as well.

Non-haikus vanish
all, as if fulminated
by a lightless fire.

A new rule post:
Renga follow up is fine.
one posts a haiku,
another follows up with
two lines that have seven each.


The following is
an example of renga.
please pay attention:

Post 1:

Here is an ode to beer:
It's amber color is like
sun through autumn leaves


Post 2:

The irony of drinking
and vision is most acute.



Also, a new note:
If you fuck up your haiku
It gets replaced with:

"I am an ass-trap.
17 syllables is
just too much for me."


Also, a good haiku
(one that makes me laugh out loud)
will get one of these:

Point bonus edit:
Ug_man gets 10 bonus points
for superb haiku.


==> Distinct admin note:
Rules have been updated.
Thank you, please stand by.
Truck
There once was a cow named Piles H. Maloney. Who liked to stack plates on red parked cars. Now this cow didn't understand that butterflies like to eat green eggs and cows. So he decided to drop a line of orange penuts and forget them.Which caused major swelling of the profits of Microsoft. Leading to the release of Microsoft causing many people to eat their vegetables and parents.Now this catastrophic diet causes severe pain to the area where it releases them carrot's into a blender with five burgerkingmanager's which resulted in pure chaos.
Piles said, 'Shaft! Report' into his shoe' causing many people named Shaft to jump off a very small cliff causin piles to yell 'Shaft! Noooooo!' Resulting in a hernia for the duration of the bomb timer. Explosions made the world with great hesitation, vulnerable for space-muffin's causing us all to give unto the many leaders our undying gratitude. As we watch southpark christmas specials we all wonder why the hell cow's eat grass. Now we must speculate on the mother of Piles, daft she was, suffering from many emotional wounds. Widowed after a series of continuous defeats. She decided to do like the ones who had brought us FLCL and start performing stripteases dressed like something else entirely too fat to wear tangerine Speedos. To make matters even better, she decided to dance on her dead pile of monkeys. That was awesome. Her new act stunned many around the turtlemeat company, which specialises in turtlemeat, obviously. Managers are trying to steal her act and her thunder.
The turtlemeat company is going to hell in a horse and carriage driver's handbasket. Fraudulent charges were brought by a donkey that hates all extraterrestrial lifeforms, who, tried to use, unsuccesfully, with ease, a damn good interpretation of Piles. Then aliens attacked. Piles was horrified. Now we are entering into a new paragraph.
Without the insight of all the members of superjercom.webstation, where will this brave new paragraph lead us to.....
Of course! New Orleans! Where Piles had a hankering for some naughty name calling. Unexpectedly, his mom showed him that while he danced he had his fly honies all up in his grill, which caused him grief. The girls couldn't understand that Piles was a problematic child with conditions far too advanced to treat. Now Piles needs some very costly hardware-rendering upgrades so we must laugh because he doesn't compare store prices. Now he must have a histerectomy to pay for the terrible transgressions that he commited. Now we all really have to stop saying 'now', but with all the things we treasure in life everyone must die. "The only one who can save us is me," Jacksmoke said boldly. Jacksmoke is now pondering his existance, in a pool of his own bodily fluids. What fluids could theese be, you ask?
Truck
Unary! (get ready for it!)

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Truck
Hexidecimal!

0x387
User
realultimatepower.net has been around since 2001 but i think it deserved to be posted here.
User
http://www.realultimatepower.net/

make sure to read hatemail
User
I have a big thermaltake mutha fucka. Thats noise. Like a jumbo jet
User
thats something i didnt notice
User
Ill get the list...

1948 FX Holden (48-215) (sedan)
1998 VT Holden Commodore (Wagon)
1993 VP Holden Commodore (Ute)
2002 AU Ford Falcon (Ute)
1992 80 Series Toyota Land Cruiser (4x4)
1989 Mitsubishi Magna (Sedan)
1995 2600 Mazda Bravo (Ute)

User
WB Monaro



R32 GTR

Truck


Hoo ha.
Truck
There once was a cow named Piles H. Maloney. Who liked to stack plates on red parked cars. Now this cow didn't understand that butterflies like to eat green eggs and cows. So he decided to drop a line of orange penuts and forget them.Which caused major swelling of the profits of Microsoft. Leading to the release of Microsoft causing many people to eat their vegetables and parents.Now this catastrophic diet causes severe pain to the area where it releases them carrot's into a blender with five burgerkingmanager's which resulted in pure chaos.
Piles said, 'Shaft! Report' into his shoe' causing many people named Shaft to jump off a very small cliff causin piles to yell 'Shaft! Noooooo!' Resulting in a hernia for the duration of the bomb timer. Explosions made the world with great hesitation, vulnerable for space-muffin's causing us all to give unto the many leaders our undying gratitude. As we watch southpark christmas specials we all wonder why the hell cow's eat grass. Now we must speculate on the mother of Piles, daft she was, suffering from many emotional wounds. Widowed after a series of continuous defeats. She decided to do like the ones who had brought us FLCL and start performing stripteases dressed like something else entirely too fat to wear tangerine Speedos. To make matters even better, she decided to dance on her dead pile of monkeys. That was awesome. Her new act stunned many around the turtlemeat company, which specialises in turtlemeat, obviously. Managers are trying to steal her act and her thunder.
The turtlemeat company is going to hell in a horse and carriage driver's handbasket. Fraudulent charges were brought by a donkey that hates all extraterrestrial lifeforms, who, tried to use, unsuccesfully, with ease, a damn good interpretation of Piles. Then aliens attacked. Piles was horrified. Now we are entering into a new paragraph.
Without the insight of all the members of superjercom.webstation, where will this brave new paragraph lead us to.....
Of course! New Orleans! Where Piles had a hankering for some naughty name calling. Unexpectedly, his mom showed him that while he danced he had his fly honies all up in his grill, which caused him grief. The girls couldn't understand that Piles was a problematic child with conditions far too advanced to treat. Now Piles needs some very costly hardware-rendering upgrades so we must laugh because he doesn't compare store prices. Now he must have a histerectomy to pay for
Truck
I'd be tetchy too if I was surrounded by so many eurpeans. Actually, it's probably because he was living in a TV show (2nd season indeed!).

Also: Flying! We need you to put some restraints on the handle.

The old haiku truck is gone, but I'm going to start one right now.
There would be 4 jers posting here, if only mikejer would stop by from time to time.
User
I read a couple of lines then that bold bit before i got bored.
User
Beans are good

User
We need a topic that list peoples points
User
but the duchy is still viable
Truck
User
There once was a cow named Piles H. Maloney. Who liked to stack plates on red parked cars. Now this cow didn't understand that butterflies like to eat green eggs and cows. So he decided to drop a line of orange penuts and forget them.Which caused major swelling of the profits of Microsoft. Leading to the release of Microsoft causing many people to eat their vegetables and parents.Now this catastrophic diet causes severe pain to the area where it releases them carrot's into a blender with five burgerkingmanager's which resulted in pure chaos.
Piles said, 'Shaft! Report' into his shoe' causing many people named Shaft to jump off a very small cliff causin piles to yell 'Shaft! Noooooo!' Resulting in a hernia for the duration of the bomb timer. Explosions made the world with great hesitation, vulnerable for space-muffin's causing us all to give unto the many leaders our undying gratitude. As we watch southpark christmas specials we all wonder why the hell cow's eat grass. Now we must speculate on the mother of Piles, daft she was, suffering from many emotional wounds. Widowed after a series of continuous defeats. She decided to do like the ones who had brought us FLCL and start performing stripteases dressed like something else entirely too fat to wear tangerine Speedos. To make matters even better, she decided to dance on her dead pile of monkeys. That was awesome. Her new act stunned many around the turtlemeat company, which specialises in turtlemeat, obviously. Managers are trying to steal her act and her thunder.
The turtlemeat company is going to hell in a horse and carriage driver's handbasket. Fraudulent charges were brought by a donkey that hates all extraterrestrial lifeforms, who, tried to use, unsuccesfully, with ease, a damn good interpretation of Piles. Then aliens attacked. Piles was horrified. Now we are entering into a new paragraph.
Without the insight of all the members of superjercom.webstation, where will this brave new paragraph lead us to.....
Of course! New
For you birthday, mr. smoke, you get a present of +4 points. I hope they keep you warm on those cold winter nights.
You've also made a deadly enemy!!

You will pay for your transgressions! -7 points to Jacksmoke!

(+1 to echidna for being a crafty Tachyglossidae)
On the team I'm captain of, everyone hase to come into the resupply room bowing low, or they get cut in half by a concealed sawblade, indiana jones/holy grail style.

The sawblade I use is a Grady-co heavy dudy 3-ply 9 gauge 10' diameter 'ripmaster' saw. It's specifically guaranteed 'Not to chip or fracture when saw hits bone'.

*Highy reccomended*
Truck
There once was a cow named Piles H. Maloney. Who liked to stack plates on red parked cars. Now this cow didn't understand that butterflies like to eat green eggs and cows. So he decided to drop a line of orange penuts and forget them.Which caused major swelling of the profits of Microsoft. Leading to the release of Microsoft causing many people to eat their vegetables and parents.Now this catastrophic diet causes severe pain to the area where it releases them carrot's into a blender with five burgerkingmanager's which resulted in pure chaos.
Piles said, 'Shaft! Report' into his shoe' causing many people named Shaft to jump off a very small cliff causin piles to yell 'Shaft! Noooooo!' Resulting in a hernia for the duration of the bomb timer. Explosions made the world with great hesitation, vulnerable for space-muffin's causing us all to give unto the many leaders our undying gratitude. As we watch southpark christmas specials we all wonder why the hell cow's eat grass. Now we must speculate on the mother of Piles, daft she was, suffering from many emotional wounds. Widowed after a series of continuous defeats. She decided to do like the ones who had brought us FLCL and start performing stripteases dressed like something else entirely too fat to wear tangerine Speedos. To make matters even better, she decided to dance on her dead pile of monkeys. That was awesome. Her new act stunned many around the turtlemeat company, which specialises in turtlemeat, obviously. Managers are trying to steal her act and her thunder.
The turtlemeat company is going to hell in a horse and carriage driver's handbasket. Fraudulent charges were brought by a donkey that hates all extraterrestrial lifeforms, who, tried to use, unsuccesfully, with ease, a damn good interpretation of Piles. Then aliens attacked. Piles was horrified. Now we are entering into a new paragraph.
Without the insight of all the members of superjercom.webstation, where will this
Truck
User
There once was a cow named Piles H. Maloney. Who liked to stack plates on red parked cars. Now this cow didn't understand that butterflies like to eat green eggs and cows. So he decided to drop a line of orange penuts and forget them.Which caused major swelling of the profits of Microsoft. Leading to the release of Microsoft causing many people to eat their vegetables and parents.Now this catastrophic diet causes severe pain to the area where it releases them carrot's into a blender with five burgerkingmanager's which resulted in pure chaos.
Piles said, 'Shaft! Report' into his shoe' causing many people named Shaft to jump off a very small cliff causin piles to yell 'Shaft! Noooooo!' Resulting in a hernia for the duration of the bomb timer. Explosions made the world with great hesitation, vulnerable for space-muffin's causing us all to give unto the many leaders our undying gratitude. As we watch southpark christmas specials we all wonder why the hell cow's eat grass. Now we must speculate on the mother of Piles, daft she was, suffering from many emotional wounds. Widowed after a series of continuous defeats. She decided to do like the ones who had brought us FLCL and start performing stripteases dressed like something else entirely too fat to wear tangerine Speedos. To make matters even better, she decided to dance on her dead pile of monkeys. That was awesome. Her new act
Truck
There once was a cow named Piles H. Maloney. Who liked to stack plates on red parked cars. Now this cow didn't understand that butterflies like to eat green eggs and cows. So he decided to drop a line of orange penuts and forget them.Which caused major swelling of the profits of Microsoft. Leading to the release of Microsoft causing many people to eat their vegetables and parents.Now this catastrophic diet causes severe pain to the area where it releases them carrot's into a blender with five burgerkingmanager's which resulted in pure chaos.
Piles said, 'Shaft! Report' into his shoe' causing many people named Shaft to jump off a very small cliff causin piles to yell 'Shaft! Noooooo!' Resulting in a hernia for the duration of the bomb timer. Explosions made the world with great hesitation, vulnerable for space-muffin's causing us all to give unto the many leaders our undying gratitude. As we watch southpark christmas specials we all wonder why the hell cow's eat grass. Now we must speculate on the mother of Piles, daft she was, suffering from many emotional wounds. Widowed after a series of continuous defeats. She decided to do like the ones who had brought us FLCL and start performing stripteases dressed like something else entirely
Truck
Wooh yea! MacDaddies 2!!

*fires AK aimlessly into the air*
The tornado heisters are more of a logistic solution than anything. Union tornado wranglers won't work in swamps, marshes, glacial lakes, peat bogs, wetlands or subtropical lagoons.

In other news, the new Mk. IV socking 'maces' are now available in most pole socking equipment stores, tornado chasing outfitters, medieval gift shops, and pole socking-storm chasing paraphanalea dealers. Personally, I prefer a mace to a mallet, as the added flexibility it provides more than makes up for it's limited range. I may have a full review of this exciting new product shortly.
Banging tardos in the ass: Won't you help?
Not yet sir!
Truck
Ilor, you need to get back into the AC, cuz me and atojohns have interweb reinactivity again. Not that he has a working account, atm...
Truck
There once was a cow named Piles H. Maloney. Who liked to stack plates on red parked cars. Now this cow didn't understand that butterflies like to eat green eggs and cows. So he decided to drop a line of orange penuts and forget them.Which caused major swelling of the profits of Microsoft. Leading to the release of Microsoft causing many people to eat their vegetables and parents.Now this catastrophic diet causes severe pain to the area where it releases them carrot's into a blender with five burgerkingmanager's which resulted in pure chaos.
Piles said, 'Shaft! Report' into his shoe' causing many people named Shaft to jump off a very small cliff causin piles to yell 'Shaft! Noooooo!' Resulting in a hernia for the duration of the bomb timer. Explosions made the world with great hesitation, vulnerable for space-muffin's causing us all to give unto the many leaders our undying gratitude. As we watch southpark christmas specials we all wonder why the hell cow's eat grass. Now we must speculate on the mother of Piles, daft she was, suffering from many emotional wounds. Widowed after a series of continuous defeats. She decided to do like the
Dun da dun da dun da dun... Bitches!
Truck
User
"There once was a cow named Piles H. Maloney. Who liked to stack plates on red parked cars. Now this cow didn't understand that butterflies like to eat green eggs and cows. So he decided to drop a line of orange penuts and forget them.Which caused major swelling of the profits of Microsoft. Leading to the release of Microsoft causing many people to eat their vegetables and parents.Now this catastrophic diet causes severe pain to the area where it releases them carrot's into a blender with five burgerkingmanager's which resulted in pure chaos.
Piles said, 'Shaft! Report' into his shoe' causing many people named Shaft to jump off a very small cliff causin piles to yell 'Shaft! Noooooo!' Resulting in a hernia for the duration of the bomb timer. Explosions made the world with great hesitation, vulnerable for space-muffin's causing us all to give unto the many leaders our undying gratitude. As we watch southpark christmas specials we all wonder why the hell cow's eat grass. Now we must speculate on the mother of Piles, daft she was, suffering from many emotional wounds. Widowed after a series of continuous defeats. She decided to"
User
Um... You don't like anyone according to your signature so that means that everyone either gets banned or get their title changed doesn't it?

Ah Fuck...
Truck
Talking about how much I want to bear a certain someone's children (who is given 'professional' credit in the credits of MD2) is hardly off topic. I want to bear that guys children.
Truck
OMG

It's I to the L to the O to the R

Philort.


Where is this post taking us?
Truck
There once was a cow named Piles H. Maloney. Who liked to stack plates on red parked cars. Now this cow didn't understand that butterflies like to eat green eggs and cows. So he decided to drop a line of orange penuts and forget them.Which caused major swelling of the profits of Microsoft. Leading to the release of Microsoft causing many people to eat their vegetables and parents.Now this catastrophic diet causes severe pain to the area where it releases them carrot's into a blender with five burgerkingmanager's which resulted in pure chaos.
Piles said, 'Shaft! Report' into his shoe' causing many people named Shaft to jump off a very small cliff causin piles to yell 'Shaft! Noooooo!' Resulting in a hernia for the duration of the bomb timer. Explosions made the world with great hesitation, vulnerable for space-muffin's causing us all to give unto the many leaders our undying gratitude. As we watch southpark christmas specials we all wonder why the hell cow's eat grass. Now we must speculate on the mother of Piles, daft she was, suffering from many emotional wounds. Widowed after a series
Truck
Ohhhhoaaahoaaah what should I doooo? Such a complicated isuuuueue! Oh I knooow!

*falls out of airplane into automatic stabbing/grinding machine*
Truck
User
"There once was a cow named Piles H. Maloney. Who liked to stack plates on red parked cars. Now this cow didn't understand that butterflies like to eat green eggs and cows. So he decided to drop a line of orange penuts and forget them.Which caused major swelling of the profits of Microsoft. Leading to the release of Microsoft causing many people to eat their vegetables and parents.Now this catastrophic diet causes severe pain to the area where it releases them carrot's into a blender with five burgerkingmanager's which resulted in pure chaos.
Piles said, 'Shaft! Report' into his shoe' causing many people named Shaft to jump off a very small cliff causin piles to yell 'Shaft! Noooooo!' Resulting in a hernia for the duration of the bomb timer. Explosions made the world with great hesitation, vulnerable for space-muffin's causing us all to give unto the many leaders our undying gratitude. As we watch southpark christmas specials we all wonder why the hell cow's eat grass. Now we must speculate on the"
Truck
There once was a cow named Piles H. Maloney. Who liked to stack plates on red parked cars. Now this cow didn't understand that butterflies like to eat green eggs and cows. So he decided to drop a line of orange penuts and forget them.Which caused major swelling of the profits of Microsoft. Leading to the release of Microsoft causing many people to eat their vegetables and parents.Now this catastrophic diet causes severe pain to the area where it releases them carrot's into a blender with five burgerkingmanager's which resulted in pure chaos.
Piles said, 'Shaft! Report' into his shoe' causing many people named Shaft to jump off a very small cliff causin piles to yell 'Shaft! Noooooo!' Resulting in a hernia for the duration of the bomb timer. Explosions made the world with great hesitation, vulnerable for space-muffin's causing us all to give unto
Truck
OMG
MD2 is hot shit.

The party nade gave me an aneurism when it went off.

BTW, atojer, ere we not supposed to say whom it was that we're trying to get to make MD3? The one we all devote our souls to?

(Oh what should I do? Such a complicated issue... Oh I KNOW!!)
User
I just nicked them from the fabled cs 1.5 that no one ever plays anymore
Truck
User
I remember a certain jacksmoke used to make posts insignificant and monosyllabic on the old forum
User
*has heart attack and dies*

*resurrects self*

You like bush? Why? He fucked up my country and were not even at war with him! we're his allies!

*wanders off mumbling about Australia-America "free trade" agreement*
Truck
User
"There once was a cow named Piles H. Maloney. Who liked to stack plates on red parked cars. Now this cow didn't understand that butterflies like to eat green eggs and cows. So he decided to drop a line of orange penuts and forget them.Which caused major swelling of the profits of Microsoft. Leading to the release of Microsoft causing many people to eat their vegetables and parents.Now this catastrophic diet causes severe pain to the area where it releases them carrot's into a blender with five burgerkingmanager's which resulted in pure chaos.
Piles said, 'Shaft! Report' into his shoe' causing many people named Shaft to jump off a very small cliff causin piles to yell 'Shaft! Noooooo!' Resulting in a hernia for the"
Truck
User
"There once was a cow named Piles H. Maloney. Who liked to stack plates on red parked cars. Now this cow didn't understand that butterflies like to eat green eggs and cows. So he decided to drop a line of orange penuts and forget them.Which caused major swelling of the profits of Microsoft. Leading to the release of Microsoft causing many people to eat their vegetables and parents.Now this catastrophic diet causes severe pain to the area where it releases them carrot's into a blender with five burgerkingmanager's which resulted in pure chaos.

Piles said, 'Shaft! Report' into his shoe"
Truck
User
"There once was a cow named Piles H. Maloney. Who liked to stack plates on red parked cars. Now this cow didn't understand that butterflies like to eat green eggs and cows. So he decided to drop a line of orange penuts and forget them.Which caused major swelling of the profits of Microsoft. Leading to the release of Microsoft causing many people to eat their vegetables and parents.Now this catastrophic diet causes severe"
Truck
User
"There once was a cow named Piles H. Maloney. Who liked to stack plates on red parked cars. Now this cow didn't understand that butterflies like to eat green eggs and cows. So he decided to drop a line of orange penuts and forget them.Which caused major swelling of the profits of Microsoft. Leading to the release of Microsoft causing many people to eat their"
User
he got pwned by the vote because I-I3 I5 4 1337 I-I4><0I2.
Truck
User
"There once was a cow named Piles H. Maloney. Who liked to stack plates on red parked cars. Now this cow didn't understand that butterflies like to eat green eggs and cows. So he decided to drop a line of orange penuts and forget them.Which caused major swelling of the profits of Microsoft"
User
*goes and asks Ug_Man about banana privileges*
Truck
User
"There once was a cow named Piles H. Maloney. Who liked to stack plates on red parked cars. Now this cow didn't understand that butterflies like to eat green eggs and cows. So he decided to drop a line of orange penuts"
Truck
User
"There once was a cow named Piles H. Maloney. Who liked to stack plates on red parked cars. Now this cow didn't understand that butterflies like to"
User
Can i have a ban...ana privilege?

User
So as a reward for a wierd post could i get like 50 ban privileges?

Ok im going
Truck
User
"There once was a cow named Piles H. Maloney. Who liked to stack plates on red parked cars"
Yea, superjer is hard to draw. This is the best I could do:

Yes, any hammer under the 8 kiloton class is legal for this round.
Oh, and rocket box too

Playing Enya music also luls it into a false sense of new age music.
JMD is in the hizzouse



Now kiss my ring.
Truck
Remember when that shark insulted Ribbon's honor?

Ok people, I'm here to announce that anyone caught using tornado-scripts to automatically achieve hyper spin levels will be immediately banned from the league. Cheaters never prosper.

On a lighter note, blue team automatically gets +3 'arbitrary' points.
It's like this: