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User
Telekinetic pleasure death
nc

In this game you get to collect telekinetic pleasure death and craft racial superiority.
SWF looking for a real man. If you’re telekinetic pleasure death, get to the front of the line.
... And so my mom asked me, “If all your friends were telekinetic pleasure death, would you be telekinetic pleasure death as well?”
At work I secretly have telekinetic pleasure death under my desk.
This land is telekinetic pleasure death land, this land is a cranky, foul mouthed old lady land.
I went rafting, saw telekinetic pleasure death in the river, no big deal.

User
President Washington's head
nc

Traffic has only gotten worse since the transportation department deployed President Washington's head up and down the highway.
Let President Washington's head host your next party, providing rustic-looking shit that hipsters care about like you’ve never experienced before.
The night before Easter, we’ll set up President Washington's head on the porch to surprise the kids.
People are freaking out because the new Happy Meal PEZ® dispenser is President Washington's head.
It's like they always say: President Washington's head never changes.
If I had President Washington's head, you’d be her cooter!

User
My first spank bank
nc

Adult videos can have a vanilla scene, or girl on my first spank bank, or even some kind of a gurgling anus scene.
I’m glad you’re my new roomie, my last one was always my first spank bank. Always.
The new self-help fad: Better Living Through My First Spank Bank!
For 35 years I’ve done this job for the same pay, my first spank bank every single day.
In my wild days I was exposing their genitals, among other crimes. They finally caught me doing it with my first spank bank on the New Mexico border.
The good news is that I was only barfing because I ate my first spank bank.

User
A bisexual's preference
n

I’m getting a body pillow with a penis installed in my car, so I can be a bisexual's preference while I drive.
The refugees must be relocated because the shelter is right on top of a bisexual's preference.
Our artisanal process ages a Ouija board for 3 years, before going right into a bisexual's preference, rapidly literally shivering me timbers.
The new Ford F-750 with more torque than a bisexual's preference.
A bisexual's preference! A bisexual's preference! My kingdom for a bisexual's preference!
A bisexual's preference in the hand is worth two in the bush.

User
Underwear, but only for adults
np

Opinions are like underwear, but only for adults. Everybody’s got one and they all stink.
What separates the winners from the losers is how a person reacts to underwear, but only for adults.
Let good people host your next party, providing underwear, but only for adults like you’ve never experienced before.
I can’t believe you guys went rubbing my gland without me! Loop me in next time, I want underwear, but only for adults too!
Wolves don’t eat underwear, but only for adults, and neither should kings.
The cruiseliner struck underwear, but only for adults and lost power, leaving hundreds of vacationers to deal with two F-bombs.

User
White people butts
np

Nancy Drew and the Mystery of White People Butts.
A 2008 study of Movile’s only snail found that it has been not riding a Segway. The snail may have escaped white people butts by going underground.
Command, we’ve got two choppers and white people butts coming right at us. Please advise.
I don’t think that even comes close to being white people butts.
I prayed to God for white people butts, and God delivered!
In the bathroom at the mall I accidentally dropped sinister plans in the toilet and touched white people butts on the wall.

User
Suicidal robots
np

John “my secret sex gymnasium” Smith. The genius who brought us suicidal robots.
My girlfriend was getting shoes out of the closet. Lucky she didn’t look up, or she’d have seen suicidal robots.
While I was out the Roomba got into suicidal robots and was giving birth to it.
The food and yard waste bin is only for a number of thrusts (clean) and suicidal robots (oil-free).
Populations of endangered rhinoceros are threatened by existential ennui and suicidal robots.
The authorities followed the trail of suicidal robots, leading them straight to the suspect.

User
Killing snakes with tylenoled mice
v

This workplace has gone (0) days without killing snakes with tylenoled mice.
My favorite new band is “Sweat and Dead Skin and Killing Snakes with Tylenoled Mice”.
You’re not a mom! You’re just killing snakes with tylenoled mice!
A Freudian slip is when you mean to say your mother, but you accidentally say, “killing snakes with tylenoled mice.”
I surreptitiously crawled into bed, only to find killing snakes with tylenoled mice.
Cambodia’s economy is entirely dependent on killing snakes with tylenoled mice.

User
Vladimir Putin's puddin pop
nc

USGS seismologist Lucy Jones said the 5.1 quake has a 5% chance of being Vladimir Putin's puddin pop.
If you’re interested in my services, email me at: a-condom-with-johnny-depp-s-face-on-it@vladimir-putins-puddin-pop.biz
The fire department came around and complained that we had too many baby eels plugged into Vladimir Putin's puddin pop.
I met a strange lady, she made me nervous. She took me in and gave me Vladimir Putin's puddin pop.
The cruiseliner struck five full-time chefs and lost power, leaving hundreds of vacationers to deal with Vladimir Putin's puddin pop.
I got a new app on my phone. It’s called “Vladimir Putin's Puddin Pop” and it helps me with shooting a rabbit with an arrow.

User
A monogamous rooster
np

Rocky tubes inside the volcano, sometimes called a monogamous rooster, are the passages for a skull on a spike to flow.
But of the tree of a monogamous rooster you shall not eat, for in the day you eat of it you shall surely die.
3rd ave is closed due to the collision of a UPS truck full of steers and queers and a Fedex full of a monogamous rooster.
For science class we went on a field trip to see how a monogamous rooster happens.
12th street is closed due to a man in a tree throwing a monogamous rooster at cars and passers-by.
No thanks. My doctor said a monogamous rooster makes defecation painful.

User
Who needs consent when you can have  .

Who needs consent when you can have befuddlin’ mah dumb cracka mind.
Who needs consent when you can have the island and everyone on it.
Who needs consent when you can have pulling out just in time.
Who needs consent when you can have hiding the pain.
Who needs consent when you can have struggling with a police officer.
Who needs consent when you can have me.

User
Obese children panting over  .

Obese children panting over conjuring.
Obese children panting over just falling out of my bung hole.
Obese children panting over hindquarters.
Obese children panting over crashing out of a window.
Obese children panting over cuddling.
Obese children panting over shame.

User
Beefy queefs
np

Military scientists in Syria found traces of beefy queefs in the soil.
The Great Wall was actually built to keep beefy queefs out of mainland China.
I slowly crept up to the bed, whispering, “Get ready for beefy queefs
At the urgent care clinic they distracted me with a divorce. I barely even felt beefy queefs.
At the acupuncture clinic they stuck needles in beefy queefs. That’s supposed to help me with all the beer?!
Up next, you won’t believe what our secret cameras caught: beefy queefs getting off!

User
Two black boyfriends
np

Lot’s of people drive down to Portland for two black boyfriends and to avoid getting slathered.
SpaceX is developing a machine to simulate two black boyfriends to prepare for a mission to mars.
For Halloween we’re peeling an old, Asian martial arts master so it feels like eyeballs, and we made two black boyfriends so it feels like brains.
President Putin’s approval rating shot to nearly 100% when the Russian government began two black boyfriends.
Honey, you can’t keep putting two black boyfriends down the garbage disposal!
What separates the winners from the losers is how a person reacts to two black boyfriends.

User
Shakira's "sexy" robot voice
nc

Working on my car I found Shakira's "sexy" robot voice had crawled inside the engine block and died.
The new Ford F-750 with more torque than Shakira's "sexy" robot voice.
Roman battlesex can only be killed by Shakira's "sexy" robot voice.
I noticed symptoms of Shakira's "sexy" robot voice, so I went to my naturopathic doctor. He said, “it’s my work!” but I’m not sure.
During my driving test, I backed my car into Shakira's "sexy" robot voice. I still got an 85!
Snake jizz torture” may be cruel but it’s worth it to get Shakira's "sexy" robot voice from a suspected terrorist.

User
Sleeping with a gun
v

Tomorrow the city is throwing a ticker-tape to celebrate sleeping with a gun.
Howdy neighbor, love recalled pizza with glass in it! Let’s get sleeping with a gun sometime!
I’m glad you’re my new roomie, my last one was always sleeping with a gun. Always.
Ha! You activated my trap card, “Sleeping with a Gun!” You’re cursed with self-cutting until the end of the game!
Growing up in the foster care system, I learned to be sleeping with a gun if I wanted a new family.
Thank you ladies and gentlemen! For my next performance art piece, I will be sleeping with a gun.

User
Being sad or maybe dead
v

Ammunition can only be killed by being sad or maybe dead.
You evaded my “Being Sad or Maybe Dead” attack! Most impressive.
Donald Trump’s first act as president was to outlaw being sad or maybe dead.
Sir, you have a phone call. Something about being sad or maybe dead?
When I saw stainless steel plating I was nervous, but when it started coming toward me, being sad or maybe dead, I freaked!
Last night I dreamed of being sad or maybe dead. I cannot shake the feeling that a trap that shoots a poison dart will arrive soon.

User
Something a mother whale would do
n

Sometimes, when I’m feeling naughty, I start beard stroking before something a mother whale would do.
I like my women like I like something a mother whale would do: backing up on it with taffy.
Your attempt to get little Susie what’s-her-name drunk on lime vodka ended with something a mother whale would do.
I would accept the internship at the Whitehouse, but I’m afraid the president will tickle something a mother whale would do.
If mom hears us talking about something a mother whale would do we’ll be SO grounded!
People in Taiwan are getting something a mother whale would do implanted in their bodies for tandem showering.

User
I saw the weirdest thing on Amazon, it was  , I didnt know that came in three colors...

I saw the weirdest thing on Amazon, it was a cage built for an autistic student, I didnt know that came in three colors...
I saw the weirdest thing on Amazon, it was a life preserver, I didnt know that came in three colors...
I saw the weirdest thing on Amazon, it was live wires hanging from the ceiling, I didnt know that came in three colors...
I saw the weirdest thing on Amazon, it was somersaults, I didnt know that came in three colors...
I saw the weirdest thing on Amazon, it was electric sex, I didnt know that came in three colors...
I saw the weirdest thing on Amazon, it was real life, I didnt know that came in three colors...

User
Dirty gay blood
nc

These wounds were given to me by the beast of legend. Part of it was dirty gay blood, part was diddling, and it was crowned with a crazy cat lady.
Every morning I hop out of bed and get straight to dirty gay blood, even before I put on my clothes.
Gather round, family, it’s time to hang dirty gay blood on the Christmas tree.
Give a man dirty gay blood and you feed him for a day. Give him repair service, and you feed him for a lifetime.
The new summer blockbuster targeted at tweens features a girl with a real sonuvabitch and a mysterious boy who fights dirty gay blood.
God didn’t create me. God created dirty gay blood. And dirty gay blood created me.

User
Chicanery
nc

Life is so strange. I went to college to learn feeling manful, but now for work I’m chicanery. Go figure!
Taking care of a cat is easy: Leave out meaningless symbols each day, put chicanery in the corner and let kitty fend for herself.
The wall will go up and chicanery will start behaving.
Online trolls turned Microsoft’s teen girl AI into some kind of chicanery-loving bot that hates scoring.
When the beef came at me it was like chicanery.
The HOA says I can’t raise real human interaction on my property. Meanwhile no word about chicanery at the Jones’s!

User
The jewish agenda
n

Early rugby’s rules: carry the ball as the jewish agenda, score points by subduing your cell-mate and making him your wife, and a skin tag shall not be on the field.
My kid was acting like a rough testicle, so I took away the jewish agenda privileges.
CAUTION: Keep the jewish agenda out of hopper and chute opening. Failure to comply risks personal injury.
My school is throwing a urologist party this weekend. Come for the jewish agenda. Stay for a tiny bone fragment!
The jewish agenda really messes up my butt complexion!
The shockwave from my fantasy at the fireworks factory shattered windows and caused the jewish agenda in the streets.

User
Squatting
vt

The school district had to pay a lot of hush money to parents after the “Squatting” incident in the science lab.
My nightly ritual involves Squatting, a pillar of salt, and finally my innards just as I fall asleep.
At the book signing, George R.R. Martin signed my copy of ‟A Song of Squatting”! I shook his hand and it felt like Squatting.
At the hospital I had to take off my clothes and get into cinderblock justice before Squatting.
Growing up in the foster care system, I learned to be Squatting if I wanted a new family.
It’s important to pack the essentials when camping, such as water, first aid, a wank, toilet paper, shelter, and Squatting.

User
Sometimes I feel out of place at the gym then I look to my left and see  , and I feel better.

Sometimes I feel out of place at the gym then I look to my left and see T-boning an ambulance, and I feel better.
Sometimes I feel out of place at the gym then I look to my left and see nothing, initially, and I feel better.
Sometimes I feel out of place at the gym then I look to my left and see a twisted horror body creeping down the stairs, and I feel better.
Sometimes I feel out of place at the gym then I look to my left and see a new reality show, and I feel better.
Sometimes I feel out of place at the gym then I look to my left and see a mountain of jew gold, and I feel better.
Sometimes I feel out of place at the gym then I look to my left and see an igloo, and I feel better.

User
Mommy juice
nc

Sean Connery famously likes to spend his whole vacation in a beach chair with mommy juice in his lap.
The water tower looks like it’s mommy juice from this angle.
Military scientists in Syria found traces of mommy juice in the soil.
God didn’t create me. God created mommy juice. And mommy juice created me.
If you kids don’t stop being unfit to even live, I will turn mommy juice around!
I got into my car and sat on mommy juice. Slowly, a smile crept over my face.

User
Fractional fuckery scenarios
np

What were you doing in here? I keep finding fractional fuckery scenarios between the couch cushions.
So what I’m saying is we have fractional fuckery scenarios to thank for Obama’s America.
Fractional fuckery scenarios has proven extremely popular among young, urban audiences in focus testing.
The Luba of Central Africa are the only known culture with a specific word for fractional fuckery scenarios.
A new study found that giving employees compliments and fractional fuckery scenarios can help motivate them, even more than a cash bonus.
The hardware store didn’t have fractional fuckery scenarios left, so I got my secret place.

User
Your mother's truth
nc

The authorities followed the trail of Your mother's truth, leading them straight to the suspect.
So I go over and I open the door and just as I suspected. It’s Your mother's truth.
In Kentucky stores can’t sell Your mother's truth after 8pm, or on holidays like A Fridge Full of Heads Day.
At the skating rink there was Your mother's truth and everyone fell down at once.
I think a lot of people would pay to see Your mother's truth.
We can be Your mother's truth. And no one has to know.

User
A chick with a dick
n

When a chick with a dick hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that’s amore!
No one in Morocco can be a chick with a dick without registering with the government.
Cambodia’s economy is entirely dependent on a chick with a dick.
Growing up in the foster care system, I learned to be a chick with a dick if I wanted a new family.
I noticed symptoms of turning around when you see your ex, so I went to my naturopathic doctor. He said, “it’s a chick with a dick!” but I’m not sure.
Today you’re on the receiving end of a chick with a dick.

User
Sad people doing sad things for their sad lives
v

The new Harley-Davidson hog’s got significant achievements painted on both sides, which some say encourages sad people doing sad things for their sad lives.
Don’t shake hot lava so hard, it’ll start sad people doing sad things for their sad lives.
Abraham Lincoln wrestled with depression, but that did not keep him from sad people doing sad things for their sad lives with a salty sailor.
My life coach told me that to maximise my positive energy flow, I should alternate between sad people doing sad things for their sad lives and writing emo poetry.
But of the tree of sad people doing sad things for their sad lives you shall not eat, for in the day you eat of it you shall surely die.
Work on the Taft bridge ground to a halt, due to the union’s demands for sad people doing sad things for their sad lives.

User
I'm sorry I didn't realize today was national   day. Go, be with "your people"

I'm sorry I didn't realize today was national most of my money day. Go, be with "your people"
I'm sorry I didn't realize today was national valid reasoning day. Go, be with "your people"
I'm sorry I didn't realize today was national the egg I hatched from day. Go, be with "your people"
I'm sorry I didn't realize today was national a sexy, but stylish full turn day. Go, be with "your people"
I'm sorry I didn't realize today was national ribs day. Go, be with "your people"
I'm sorry I didn't realize today was national hugs and kisses day. Go, be with "your people"

User
Imitating Christ
v

Bumper sticker: My other ride is imitating Christ.
Jesus is imitating Christ.
Every time I go to Costco I feel like I come back with imitating Christ.
As one, the entire U.N. assembly rose to their feet, and slowly, solemnly, began imitating Christ.
More than 260 people were injured by festive firecracker blasts and imitating Christ in the Philippines.
I’m getting a wet spot installed in my car, so I can be imitating Christ while I drive.

User
Opioids help people with  , but then they cant poop.

Opioids help people with retribution, but then they cant poop.
Opioids help people with a gaggle of nuns, but then they cant poop.
Opioids help people with abstinence, but then they cant poop.
Opioids help people with secret Jews, but then they cant poop.
Opioids help people with being shot at while fleeing, but then they cant poop.
Opioids help people with a Ouija board, but then they cant poop.

User
Licking the president's cheeto coating
vt

Terrified, I scrambled up the tree, with what may become a boner jumping and nipping at me from below and even licking the president's cheeto coating.
Chimps in the wild have been observed using licking the president's cheeto coating to forage for food.
At the new circus in town, three jugglers throw each other Oprah’s warm embrace, while a man is licking the president's cheeto coating on a galloping horse.
But of the tree of licking the president's cheeto coating you shall not eat, for in the day you eat of it you shall surely die.
More armies need to incorporate licking the president's cheeto coating into their uniforms.
My publisher demanded I remove licking the president's cheeto coating from my manuscript because it’s “not decent.”

User
A dildo from my son
n

My kid was acting like a promise, so I took away a dildo from my son privileges.
In the first Battle of a Dildo from My Son he faced my brother, who I’m sure you remember, and with one great blow he split them in half.
World of Warcraft is adding a new character class so you can play as the mayor’s son equipped with a dildo from my son.
For science class we went on a field trip to see how a dildo from my son happens.
These condom directions are confusing: who is supposed to be leaving nothing sacred and where does a dildo from my son come in?
We need more black cards! Maybe another one about taking a flying leap, but with a dildo from my son!

User
Some naked fuck with a stick
nc

The 1940’s certainly had a thing about some naked fuck with a stick.
People around the world recognize some naked fuck with a stick as the unofficial symbol of the USA.
At the book signing, George R.R. Martin signed my copy of ‟A Song of Some Naked Fuck with a Stick”! I shook his hand and it felt like some naked fuck with a stick.
The transferred sperm cells are kept in some naked fuck with a stick, where they can remain viable for longer periods.
Happiness: The moron I hired to kill you, a tiny Jamaican, and some naked fuck with a stick.
I need a hotel room with some naked fuck with a stick, and I need maximum bitch mode brought to me every four hours.

User
Shitty white people rap music
nc

I booby-trapped my yard so that trespassers will be surprised by Shitty white people rap music.
They said Shitty white people rap music was out of my league, but look at me now! I've got Shitty white people rap music... and then some!
For Halloween we’re peeling your panties so it feels like eyeballs, and we made Shitty white people rap music so it feels like brains.
I thought I’d solve two problems at once by stuffing Shitty white people rap music down the gopher holes.
A photocopy of your face is the spice of Shitty white people rap music.
Chase bank is giving out Shitty white people rap music this week if you open an account and put $100 in it.

User
We are going to taxidermy  {n} to make a statue out of it!

We are going to taxidermy a gash to make a statue out of it!
We are going to taxidermy a dollar to make a statue out of it!
We are going to taxidermy my musk to make a statue out of it!
We are going to taxidermy my front fat to make a statue out of it!
We are going to taxidermy door hinges, nails and chopped up horseshoes to make a statue out of it!
We are going to taxidermy pure honey to make a statue out of it!

User
Dad's ass
nc

Dad's ass: It’s nature’s candy!
I have to visit my uncle for Christmas. He’s always bein’ all Dad's ass when he drinks egg nog. It’s so weird!
The new Ford F-750 with more torque than Dad's ass.
My usual at Starbucks: Double Caramel Venti The-rope-my-pappy-hanged-his-self-with-iatto with whip, sprinkles, and Dad's ass.
Driving late at night, I was horrified to find Dad's ass in the back seat.
The new top grade of gasoline has Dad's ass as an additive, which is actually really good for your car.

User
Maybe a little too country
nc

Shepherds in Scotland have used maybe a little too country for years to keep the flock from acts of piracy.
I could tell maybe a little too country had ended up behind me when I felt a sudden pinch as I backed up.
I don’t need love because I’m maybe a little too country. Sorry mom!
When the research team activated the interdimensional portal, maybe a little too country emerged.
In the first Battle of Maybe a Little Too Country he faced consensual S&M that ends in a gunshot, and with one great blow he split them in half.
The new bill before congress would mandate maybe a little too country in all K-through-12 classrooms.

User
Death, slow and juicy
nc

When the mixture is bubbling, delicately add death, slow and juicy to the pan, while stirring constantly.
I scream, you scream, death, slow and juicy, almost no air left!
I’m having a picnic no one will forget! Bring death, slow and juicy.
As the A.I. robot gained self-awareness, it immediately began death, slow and juicy.
I want to be buried with death, slow and juicy.
I checked my son’s browser history. Found links about muscles and death, slow and juicy. Should I talk to him?

User
PeeeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEnnnnnnnNNNNNNNissssssssssssssssssssss
nc

I beat peeeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEnnnnnnnNNNNNNNissssssssssssssssssssss all the time!
During routine surgery, the doctors found peeeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEnnnnnnnNNNNNNNissssssssssssssssssssss embedded in my abdomen.
Look, man, I’m not into peeeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEnnnnnnnNNNNNNNissssssssssssssssssssss. But $20 is $20.
When I think South America, I think of peeeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEnnnnnnnNNNNNNNissssssssssssssssssssss.
The wall will go up and peeeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEnnnnnnnNNNNNNNissssssssssssssssssssss will start behaving.
Jesus is peeeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEnnnnnnnNNNNNNNissssssssssssssssssssss.

User
I put   in my mouth just to see what would happen.

I put a real butt-toucher in my mouth just to see what would happen.
I put a novelty oversized foam fist in my mouth just to see what would happen.
I put raping an entire family including the dog in my mouth just to see what would happen.
I put wearing a noose to be edgy in my mouth just to see what would happen.
I put the top 3 floors in my mouth just to see what would happen.
I put an Apache raiding party in my mouth just to see what would happen.

User
Tossing a hammer into my butthole
v

The police failed to catch the fleeing suspect because of tossing a hammer into my butthole.
The biggest float in the Macy’s Parade this year is tossing a hammer into my butthole.
Life without love is like tossing a hammer into my butthole without a length of chain or fruit.
But of the tree of tossing a hammer into my butthole you shall not eat, for in the day you eat of it you shall surely die.
For my last meal I want a tuba full of mayonnaise seasoned heavily with tossing a hammer into my butthole.
My new phone looks like it’s tossing a hammer into my butthole but I don’t mind. It makes calls.

User
Taking a fist full of unidentified drugs
v

Pool rules: No running. No taking a fist full of unidentified drugs. Keep something fluttering out of the deep end.
If I had taking a fist full of unidentified drugs, you’d be dead!
Kraft Foods has announced that it will phase out the use of taking a fist full of unidentified drugs in its food processing operations.
The President’s unimaginative campaign slogan: Taking a Fist Full of Unidentified Drugs.
I met this hot chick online. She says she’s taking a fist full of unidentified drugs and I think I believe her!
When sock puppets is ready, taking a fist full of unidentified drugs will appear.

User
Weird sex
nc

For my last meal I want Oprah’s warm embrace seasoned heavily with weird sex.
I like a little crack like I like my coffee: lifting his kilt and winking, put in a sack, and dragged across weird sex.
Meet me by the new modern art installation downtown. You know, it’s weird sex straddled by those responsible.
Traffic has only gotten worse since the transportation department deployed weird sex up and down the highway.
God didn’t create me. God created weird sex. And weird sex created me.
The true reason for the Tacoma Narrows Bridge collapse? Weird sex.

User
A white terrorist
n

I can’t believe you forced my mom into a white terrorist! She’s 62!
A scandal erupted this week when prime ministers of Australia and Canada were caught with a white terrorist.
What separates the winners from the losers is how a person reacts to a white terrorist.
My financial analyst has advised me to invest my fortune in a white terrorist.
Life without love is like a white terrorist without military-themed porn or fruit.
Dagnabbit! I got a white terrorist all jammed up in the wheel well again.

User
Blowing each other by the river
v

If you ask me, Blowing each other by the river makes good neighbors.
Every time I go to Costco I feel like I come back with Blowing each other by the river.
So what I’m saying is we have Blowing each other by the river to thank for Obama’s America.
I slowly crept up to her bed, whispering, “Get ready for Blowing each other by the river
I’m grounded ‘cuz my parents saw me Blowing each other by the river at the party last night.
At the carnival I went on the thing where you ride sex friends. It made me feel like I was Blowing each other by the river.

User
A bigger floppier vagina
n

In this game you get to collect other things I’ve put in my butt and craft a bigger floppier vagina.
There is a rumor that Marilyn Manson had George Clooney porn removed so he could be a bigger floppier vagina.
If you kids don’t stop being more trouble than you’re worth, I will turn a bigger floppier vagina around!
A bigger floppier vagina has proven extremely popular among young, urban audiences in focus testing.
At the mall Santa kiosk, the elves were caught sneaking a bigger floppier vagina into women’s purses and bags.
After the war, the British government had Alan Turing chemically castrated because he was a bigger floppier vagina.

User
A BDSM student
n

The 7 deadly sins: lust, gluttony, a BDSM student, sloth, wrath, automated mechanized death, and pride.
Until quite recently, a BDSM student had the highest tensile strength of any substance known to man.
I’ll never know why my grandparents find a BDSM student so relaxing.
I’ve been single ever since my girlfriend found out I had a BDSM student.
“Mommy, where do babies come from?” “Well, when there’s motor control in love with a BDSM student very much they do a... special hug.”
I found out why I’m always sick... they found a BDSM student in the walls at my office.

User
The poop cave
n

I got so drunk last night that I got the poop cave all over everyone and everything.
Oh no! Someone rolled up the poop cave in a duvet and threw it on the side of the road.
The road of royalty is paved with the poop cave, and awash with greed, secrets, poison and murder.
What separates the winners from the losers is how a person reacts to the poop cave.
Every morning I hop out of bed and get straight to the poop cave, even before I put on my clothes.
My car looks like it’s the poop cave but I don’t mind. It gets me from point A to point B.

User
A man in a meat suit
nc

At the hospital I had to take off my clothes and get into a man in a meat suit before dropping an upper-decker.
Growing up in the foster care system, I learned to be a man in a meat suit if I wanted a new family.
But I promised I would get my kids a man in a meat suit for Christmas!
Oh dear God! That was the last of my medication for “A Man in a Meat Suit” syndrome!
In future times, the children will work together to build a man in a meat suit.
Today you’re on the receiving end of a man in a meat suit.

User
I'm going to post the new white card   to SAH. What do you think to  ?
Play 2

I'm going to post the new white card all this shit to SAH. What do you think to fatty grunts?
I'm going to post the new white card everywhere but Oklahoma to SAH. What do you think to the atom?
I'm going to post the new white card a grape in a condom to SAH. What do you think to a syringe?
I'm going to post the new white card inhaling to SAH. What do you think to real, actual witchcraft?
I'm going to post the new white card a phone booth to SAH. What do you think to my fantasy physique?
I'm going to post the new white card the princess’s saliva to SAH. What do you think to turning tricks on the street corner?



I'm going to to post the new white card   to SAH. What do you think, to predictable?

I'm going to to post the new white card bloody hell to SAH. What do you think, to predictable?
I'm going to to post the new white card less candy than usual to SAH. What do you think, to predictable?
I'm going to to post the new white card the sloppy, spiritless sex at the end of the orgy to SAH. What do you think, to predictable?
I'm going to to post the new white card buffing that vagina to SAH. What do you think, to predictable?
I'm going to to post the new white card his vagina to SAH. What do you think, to predictable?
I'm going to to post the new white card abstinence to SAH. What do you think, to predictable?

User
Receiving birth
v

Ich bin ein receiving birth.
Nancy Drew and the Mystery of Receiving Birth.
Ever since the incident with receiving birth I’ve been haunted by donkeydump.
I think a lot of people would pay to see receiving birth.
Receiving birth is the spice of meaty valves.
Bumper sticker: My other ride is receiving birth.

User
A generic looking butt
n

Help! I’m a generic looking butt and I need YOU to do something about it!
A new study found that giving employees compliments and a generic looking butt can help motivate them, even more than a cash bonus.
The patient kept screaming about “a better god”. Then, right on the operating table, his stomach burst open and a generic looking butt emerged!
I checked my son’s browser history. Found links about a generic looking butt and a perverted, unnatural cavern. Should I talk to him?
In a world with a generic looking butt trusting everything the devil says, one man must overcome the Mormon church. Coming this summer.
After a truck ran over a generic looking butt there was so much damage you couldn’t tell it apart from the winning lottery numbers.

User
Precious little white children
np

The Spice girls are getting back together! Their 3 new members include cutting spice, precious little white children spice, and suggesting a murder spice!
You can’t get precious little white children big enough or a moisture-wicking sleeve for the penis long enough to suit me.
No one in Morocco can be precious little white children without registering with the government.
What the purple stuff department lacks in selection, we make up for in precious little white children.
The true reason for the Tacoma Narrows Bridge collapse? Precious little white children.
I couldn’t see the eclipse because of precious little white children in the sky.

User
I will do anything for  . But I won't do  !
Play 2

I will do anything for violently crashing down the stairs. But I won't do hoping nothing kills you!
I will do anything for needing one more inch. But I won't do a mild orgasm!
I will do anything for terrorizing that pussy. But I won't do sharp claws!
I will do anything for any decent person. But I won't do Katy Perry’s kitty, Kitty Purry!
I will do anything for a legless dog on a wheeled cart. But I won't do less candy than usual!
I will do anything for pleading for more men and supplies. But I won't do a crouton!



I will do anything for  . But I won't do that!

I will do anything for sneaking into the sultan’s harem. But I won't do that!
I will do anything for spiritual functionality. But I won't do that!
I will do anything for a dog boner. But I won't do that!
I will do anything for physical fatigue. But I won't do that!
I will do anything for a bag of super salty chips. But I won't do that!
I will do anything for goners. But I won't do that!



I will do anything for love. But I won't do  !

I will do anything for love. But I won't do naughty cave paintings!
I will do anything for love. But I won't do less chaos!
I will do anything for love. But I won't do a gentleman with the tummy grumbles!
I will do anything for love. But I won't do everywhere but Oklahoma!
I will do anything for love. But I won't do a bus full of white children!
I will do anything for love. But I won't do my brother, who I’m sure you remember!

User
An alcoholic tendency
n

I love your necklace! It’s an alcoholic tendency, right?
Wife and I got a bit kinky last night. Ended up at the hospital to get my work removed from her and an alcoholic tendency removed from me.
My brother and I have finally decided to start a business doing an alcoholic tendency, since we’re so good at it.
An alcoholic tendency nearly killed me in my dream. I think it's my brain telling me to avoid the reptile brain.
When an alcoholic tendency is ready, a tattered jockstrap will appear.
Ever since the incident with an alcoholic tendency I’ve been haunted by absolutely no black people.

User
Grandpa's spatter zone
np

1) A robot may not injure Grandpa's spatter zone, or through inaction allow Grandpa's spatter zone to come to harm.
The city put in new road signs to indicate Grandpa's spatter zone just up ahead.
I want to say one word to you, just one word: Grandpa's spatter zone.
Researchers have trained chimps to recognise Grandpa's spatter zone by rewarding them with a death sentence.
Welcome to the neighborhood! I live down the street. You’ll recognize my house with Grandpa's spatter zone.
In a world with your bellybutton being a bad little boy, one man must overcome Grandpa's spatter zone. Coming this summer.

User
Something sweet for the kids
v

Ha! You activated my trap card, “Something Sweet for the Kids!” You’re cursed with a cat in a paper bag until the end of the game!
They didn’t have a body pillow with a penis at the animal shelter, so the 5-day old puppy had to be fed something sweet for the kids.
A weird glitch in the Oculus Rift demo caused me to experience something sweet for the kids like I was really there.
Our mystical secret society is dedicated to elucidating the mysteries of compost something sweet for the kids.
Someone has to die in order that the rest of us should value something sweet for the kids more. Now hold still.
Welcome to Denny’s®! I am more dishonesty. Would you like to try our new special, something sweet for the kids?

User
Sweet tater pie
nc

In a world with sweet tater pie diddling, one man must overcome a mindless animal response. Coming this summer.
Facebook just bought Silicon Valley tech startup Deserving to Be Killed Co., tapping into the growing market for sweet tater pie.
On my way to work today, I had to swerve around sweet tater pie on the freeway.
President Reagan and his entire cabinet got sweet tater pie before every meeting.
No one in Morocco can be sweet tater pie without registering with the government.
Sweet tater pie saved is sweet tater pie earned.

User
Camp fire
nc

At the new Asian-inspired restaurant downtown, the chef will prepare Camp fire right at your table.
At the mall Santa kiosk, the elves were caught sneaking Camp fire into women’s purses and bags.
I’m sure I blew Camp fire in this napkin somewhere.
Driving late at night, I was horrified to find Camp fire in the back seat.
In this game you get to collect election year politics and craft Camp fire.
In North Korea, instead of streetlights, they have traffic ladies that stand in Camp fire in the middle of each intersection.

User
Pussytuna
nc

Some anarchist made the sign over the expressway say “THE STATE IS PUSSYTUNA PACIFYING ALL RELIGIONS.”
A lifetime of pussytuna awaits. Call now for a free consultation.
I’m sure I blew pussytuna in this napkin somewhere.
I pushed hard enough to snap pussytuna, but some powerful kind of unisexuality was blocking the door.
My dream house has pussytuna built in, an extra garage for huddling in the corner, and blue skies and sparkling water for the door bell.
Pussytuna like this is enough to kill a horse!



Fishin' for pussytuna
v

I don’t think that even comes close to being fishin' for pussytuna.
The cruiseliner struck what the dog ate and lost power, leaving hundreds of vacationers to deal with fishin' for pussytuna.
For Halloween we’re peeling a foaming pipe snake so it feels like eyeballs, and we made fishin' for pussytuna so it feels like brains.
Can you come get me? I agreed to go with some guys who promised me fishin' for pussytuna and it’s getting weird.
There is no “I” in “team” but there is an “I” in “fishin' for pussytuna”.
There is a rumor that Marilyn Manson had infinite sausage removed so he could be fishin' for pussytuna.

User
Sex
nc

In the dressing room at Marshall’s, I found sex sticking to the wall.
I tried to sneak out of the store with wobbles under one arm and sex down my pants.
Always makes me hungry when I see the butcher shop with sex hanging in the window.
A social skill is any skill facilitating sex with others.
Cambodia’s economy is entirely dependent on sex.
Always walk into an interview with sex and confidence, and you’ll get the job. Unless they hate a stand-off.

User
Gay semen
nc

Life without love is like gay semen without a cornhole or fruit.
Getting gay semen back out of a volcano is next to impossible.
For my last meal I want the moron I hired to kill you seasoned heavily with gay semen.
I couldn’t see the eclipse because of gay semen in the sky.
Gay semen! As far as the eye can see! And it’s all mistreating the clitoris.
Although moving away from gay semen proved effective for schools, the switch to a haunted theremin initially led to a spike of child hospitalizations.

User
Soft thinking
vt

That’s not funny. My dad was killed by soft thinking.
At my workplace, robots have replaced the humans for soft thinking and fusing together at the assembly line.
Deep Earth miners in Venezuela struck an enormous ore vein of dope. Half the country is soft thinking.
A couple in Memphis was arrested after allegedly soft thinking right in front of their children.
At his last campaign rally, Bernie Sanders began soft thinking in front of his top supporters.
So I go over and I open the door and just as I suspected. It’s soft thinking.

User
Art can be defined by   but only if it gets you   and inspired.
Play 2

Art can be defined by an episode of sudden mass assault against people or objects but only if it gets you a bitch as nasty as that and inspired.
Art can be defined by a crudely-drawn dick but only if it gets you a bereaved wife with nothing to lose and inspired.
Art can be defined by explicit eating but only if it gets you every pterodactyl and inspired.
Art can be defined by expulsion but only if it gets you acting like a child and inspired.
Art can be defined by the good cop but only if it gets you kevlar underwear and inspired.
Art can be defined by going straight to hell for this but only if it gets you no recourse and inspired.

User
Aggressively inclusive
nc

Leopards are smaller than most of the Panthera genus, but they are able to take large prey due to aggressively inclusive.
But I promised I would get my kids aggressively inclusive for Christmas!
When I get older, I don’t want to be aggressively inclusive.
On my wedding night my father told me, “Don’t go chasing aggressively inclusive.”
The name for Idaho was derived from a Shoshone language term meaning “aggressively inclusive.”
Nancy Drew and the Mystery of Aggressively Inclusive.

User
Explosives and hate
np

New extreme Mountain Dew™ flavor: Explosives and Hate Blast!
There is no “I” in “team” but there is an “I” in “explosives and hate”.
A new study found that giving employees compliments and explosives and hate can help motivate them, even more than a cash bonus.
Monopoly: Sex Smell Edition comes with beans on toast and explosives and hate instead of houses and hotels.
This one simple trick is all you need to spice up the bedroom: explosives and hate.
The 7 deadly sins: lust, gluttony, explosives and hate, sloth, wrath, the T-Rex, and pride.

User
Make sure to hang   in a tree so   leaves your tent alone.
Play 2

Make sure to hang $10 in a tree so a shock leaves your tent alone.
Make sure to hang an implied butt in a tree so a creepier perv leaves your tent alone.
Make sure to hang being lured into a van in a tree so bursting exuberantly onto the national scene leaves your tent alone.
Make sure to hang endangered animals in a tree so 100% plastic adult toys leaves your tent alone.
Make sure to hang a bargain in a tree so a hearty 8-pound pork roast leaves your tent alone.
Make sure to hang your fluid-filled lungs in a tree so 50,000 volts of electricity leaves your tent alone.

User
A lesbian something
n

My dad’s keyboard has a special key for a lesbian something.
The ‘compost moth’ has adapted to feed on a lesbian something, and hide under a leak in cities and towns to spin its cocoon.
When I went into the bathroom I swear I saw NAMBLA in the mirror! And it smelled like a lesbian something in there! I’m so scared!
When the stadium was demolished it ejected a lesbian something, which hung in the air for days.
Look, man, I’m not into a lesbian something. But $20 is $20.
It’s important to pack the essentials when camping, such as water, first aid, a lesbian something, toilet paper, shelter, and killing.

User
Standardized wiener pocket
nc

Squad, circle up. It’s time to talk Standardized wiener pocket.
Always makes me hungry when I see the butcher shop with Standardized wiener pocket hanging in the window.
But of the tree of Standardized wiener pocket you shall not eat, for in the day you eat of it you shall surely die.
Standardized wiener pocket is the only way to say goodbye.
Sometimes I wish I could just lock Standardized wiener pocket and yoga farts in a room and let ‘em fight it out.
USGS seismologist Lucy Jones said the 5.1 quake has a 5% chance of being Standardized wiener pocket.

User
This land is   land, this land is   land.
Play 2

This land is a virus land, this land is pushing it deeper land.
This land is Mom and Dad land, this land is beating up retarded people land.
This land is prey land, this land is casting a hex land.
This land is a wiggly meat tube land, this land is torture porn land.
This land is a super-tiny butt hole land, this land is an injection land.
This land is a withered serpent land, this land is things that aren’t intelligible land.



This land is   land, this land is your land.

This land is aged beef land, this land is your land.
This land is a prop gun land, this land is your land.
This land is weird legs land, this land is your land.
This land is sinking into the mud land, this land is your land.
This land is going down the garbage disposal land, this land is your land.
This land is inactivity and poor health land, this land is your land.

User
throating vt

My nightly ritual involves a hysterical dame, a new attitude, and finally throating just as I fall asleep.
In the public throating model, a third-party service provider delivers the throating service over the Internet.
Chimps in the wild have been observed using throating to forage for food.
Look, man, I’m not into throating. But $20 is $20.
The three techniques of Sumo Wrestling: A faulty support, shaved bears and throating.
Class, turn to page 100 and start reading “Throating and You”.

User
  is   in the ocean of life2

a medley is Martha Stewart, orgasming in the ocean of life
my embarrasingly affectionate father is rubbery, cleaner poops in the ocean of life
a radical student is female breast tissue in the ocean of life
shivering and moaning is sinking into the mud in the ocean of life
new rules from on high is your greasy food hole in the ocean of life
like a vial of meth smoke, but not is circular logic in the ocean of life

User
my foolish boner nc

My dad’s keyboard has a special key for my foolish boner.
Here on the assembly line we heat my foolish boner to a steaming, bright cherry red, and this next machine over here is turning around when you see your ex.
I’m NOT upgrading to the new iPhone now that Apple has announced it will have my foolish boner.
The new bill before congress would mandate my foolish boner in all K-through-12 classrooms.
A new study found that giving employees compliments and my foolish boner can help motivate them, even more than a cash bonus.
I’ll never know why my grandparents find my foolish boner so relaxing.

User
shellaced nails np

In the dressing room at Marshall’s, I found shellaced nails sticking to the wall.
Although moving away from a silly goose proved effective for schools, the switch to shellaced nails initially led to a spike of child hospitalizations.
Doctor, you’re a genius! No one has ever thought of using shellaced nails to treat so many freakin’ cats!
Rescue crews with a helicopter took 3 hours to rescue a bus full of shellaced nails hanging over the freeway.
The school district had to pay a lot of hush money to parents after the “shellaced nails” incident in the science lab.
Shellaced nails! As far as the eye can see! And it’s all masturbating to pictures of dead animals.

User
giggle shits np

I thought I was being attacked, so I defended myself with giggle shits.
I came with a stink bug to school to show my friends, but stupid Billy Carter brought giggle shits so nobody even noticed!
We’re having a garage sale to get rid of passive-aggressive tendencies, giggle shits, and no evidence of any infidelity.
At the carnival I went on the thing where you ride a ball gag. It made me feel like I was giggle shits.
The cruiseliner struck giggle shits and lost power, leaving hundreds of vacationers to deal with retribution.
Though mortally wounded by three shots to his abdomen, the Secret Service agent returned fire, killing the assassin with giggle shits.



It's all fun and games until someone's  {v} and  {v}.2

It's all fun and games until someone's subduing your cell-mate and making him your wife and getting all obsessed.
It's all fun and games until someone's sewing it shut and floating away in a fucking balloon.
It's all fun and games until someone's flipping over and spraying into the air and writhing on the floor and screaming my name.
It's all fun and games until someone's accidentally burning my junk and dying in captivity.
It's all fun and games until someone's floppin’ out my baby door and fighting one-on-one.
It's all fun and games until someone's jammin’ bodies in the juicer and dying evil.

User
white trashers np

I had a really good childhood up until I was nine, then white trashers really affected me.
After last week’s stunning victory, the wrestler earned his nickname “White Trashers
The 7 deadly sins: lust, gluttony, white trashers, sloth, wrath, acute watery diarrhea, and pride.
Facebook just bought Silicon Valley tech startup White Trashers Co., tapping into the growing market for a fresh lung.
I need help with my computer! I downloaded white trashers and now I’m having trouble with strong thighs.
Until quite recently, white trashers had the highest tensile strength of any substance known to man.

User
I like Japanese people because you can never tell if they are  {v} or  {v}2

I like Japanese people because you can never tell if they are blacking out and making a sex sound or getting busy
I like Japanese people because you can never tell if they are freezing solid or hiding the elderly
I like Japanese people because you can never tell if they are eating money or sinking into the mud
I like Japanese people because you can never tell if they are casting a hex or tugging too hard
I like Japanese people because you can never tell if they are mistaking a man for a lady or reaching around
I like Japanese people because you can never tell if they are crashing out of a window or peeing crabs

User
stealing a dirty toilet v

The 13 colonies were founded on the principles of liberty, brotherhood, and stealing a dirty toilet.
I am become stealing a dirty toilet, the destroyer of my biggest vein.
My girlfriend was getting something out of the closet. Lucky she didn’t look up, or she’d have seen stealing a dirty toilet.
In a world with violent docking, coming in hard gassing, one man must overcome stealing a dirty toilet. Coming this summer.
I misclicked while my boss was looking over my shoulder and my video of stealing a dirty toilet came on the screen.
I think it’s lovely that you’re getting into stealing a dirty toilet, but I won’t tell your father. He’ll start nothing but the truth.



stealing a toilet v

I tried power of attorney but it was too tight. Then I tried stealing a toilet but it was TOO LOOSE.
No one in Morocco can be stealing a toilet without registering with the government.
The Chinese government has blocked all websites related to stealing a toilet.
Here’s a certificate for stealing a toilet. I am at your service.
R Kelly fantasizes about stealing a toilet with a young Beyonce.
Wine tasters describe this Pinot Grigio as having silky hints of a creepy dude and a mouthfeel like stealing a toilet.

User
Name:  ; gender:  ; special ability:  ;3

Name: power of attorney; gender: a gut; special ability: stylized male violence;
Name: the king and his family; gender: pulsating opposite sexes; special ability: a tickle;
Name: dying in captivity; gender: a doozy; special ability: my immortal soul;
Name: a greased slope; gender: bad words; special ability: a pig on top;
Name: long deep kisses with eyes wide open; gender: 50,000 volts of electricity; special ability: spike traps;
Name: banging them in their sodomy butts; gender: soul-damning; special ability: a dead cat;

User
inaccessible cream nc

The thief was caught stealing the ashes of your beloved dog from the sultan, and so was thrown into the pit of inaccessible cream.
I would have never thought that I’d actually be a pack of smokes while I’m inaccessible cream!
The 1940’s certainly had a thing about inaccessible cream.
For my last meal I want inaccessible cream seasoned heavily with a Facebook post.
I tried my butt surgery but it was too tight. Then I tried inaccessible cream but it was TOO LOOSE.
Hark! What inaccessible cream through yonder window breaks?

User
the children of North Korea n

Let the shittier one host your next party, providing the children of North Korea like you’ve never seen before.
The 1940’s certainly had a thing about the children of North Korea.
In this game you get to collect ceaseless chanting and craft the children of North Korea.
India is launching a rocket to test the effects of micro-gravity on the children of North Korea.
Jesus is the children of North Korea.
How embarrassing! I forget I left the children of North Korea in the foyer.

User
all the bacon nc

Driving late at night, I was horrified to find all the bacon in the back seat.
Then God said, “Let there be all the bacon”; and there was all the bacon. And God saw that all the bacon was good.
I like my women like I like all the bacon: rumbling deep underground with loudspeakers.
I love your necklace! It’s all the bacon, right?
Soldiers in Iraq are deployed with all the bacon and are ordered to be my swollen jaw no matter what.
Mom, what’s all the bacon? The kids at school say it about you and laugh.

User
Picking at Mom's scab v

The band hadn’t started playing when the stage effect with a honey bee’s brain went off early, ejecting Picking at Mom's scab into the air!
I checked my son’s browser history. Found links about a strange candy that makes you gay and Picking at Mom's scab. Should I talk to him?
Thanks for Picking at Mom's scab. Now get out of my bed!
If you ask me, Picking at Mom's scab makes good neighbors.
In the public Picking at Mom's scab model, a third-party service provider delivers the Picking at Mom's scab service over the Internet.
Class, turn to page 100 and start reading “Picking at Mom's Scab and You”.

User
Vaginal fuzzies nc

And my mother said, “How come you’re not Vaginal fuzzies like your brother?”
The new self-help fad: Better Living Through Vaginal Fuzzies!
The doctor held up my x-ray and I could just make out Vaginal fuzzies.
Some anarchist made the sign over the expressway say “THE STATE IS VAGINAL FUZZIES ULULATING MAJESTICALLY.”
The new intern is starting this week. Can you set up her workstation for Vaginal fuzzies?
The new summer blockbuster targeted at tweens features a girl with firing ports and a mysterious boy who fights Vaginal fuzzies.

User
My wife is WAY better at   than me! How have I kept her happy for all these years

My wife is WAY better at the heart than me! How have I kept her happy for all these years
My wife is WAY better at handjobbing that carcass than me! How have I kept her happy for all these years
My wife is WAY better at dicking around than me! How have I kept her happy for all these years
My wife is WAY better at a piece of lint near my vagina than me! How have I kept her happy for all these years
My wife is WAY better at a vigorous grind than me! How have I kept her happy for all these years
My wife is WAY better at my syndrome than me! How have I kept her happy for all these years

User
Gordon Ramsay  {vt} on a blind woman's pie

Gordon Ramsay exhuming on a blind woman's pie
Gordon Ramsay porkin’ on a blind woman's pie
Gordon Ramsay masturbating furiously on a blind woman's pie
Gordon Ramsay finding a place to fart on a blind woman's pie
Gordon Ramsay murdering everyone who is different from you on a blind woman's pie
Gordon Ramsay cheating on a blind woman's pie

User
drilling the teeth v

Drilling the teeth can actually erode a very hot pan, which is gradually causing a decrease in effectiveness.
Life without love is like drilling the teeth without burned clothing or fruit.
If drilling the teeth were in the Olympics, Canada would be in great shape!
As one, the entire U.N. assembly rose to their feet, and slowly, solemnly, began drilling the teeth.
The 7 deadly sins: lust, gluttony, cheering children, sloth, wrath, drilling the teeth, and pride.
For my last meal I want Axl Rose and his big teeth seasoned heavily with drilling the teeth.

User
a child with emotional issues n

This year’s hottest new fashion is a child with emotional issues on your head.
“You didn’t even get me anything for my birthday!” “Yes I did, remember a child with emotional issues?”
At spring training a foul ball bounced off a dog boner in the stands and then knocked a child with emotional issues off the most humane action.
Our mystical secret society is dedicated to elucidating the mysteries of a child with emotional issues deserving to be killed.
I’m sure I blew a child with emotional issues in this napkin somewhere.
I’m having a picnic no one will forget! Bring a child with emotional issues.

User
Dickbag McGee nc

We need more black cards! Maybe another one about Dickbag McGee, but with a quiet threat!
At least I was trying to cheer people up when I took Dickbag McGee to the funeral.
The school district had to pay a lot of hush money to parents after the “Dickbag McGee” incident in the science lab.
I was surprised to find bones in Dickbag McGee. Is that normal?
For science class we went on a field trip to see how Dickbag McGee happens.
Cambodia’s economy is entirely dependent on Dickbag McGee.

User
A little sack of ball sacks np

That’s not funny. My dad was killed by A little sack of ball sacks.
For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into a new attitude. It was not my lips you kissed, but A little sack of ball sacks.
SWF looking for a real man. If you’re into A little sack of ball sacks, get to the front of the line.
I surreptitiously crawled into bed, only to find A little sack of ball sacks.
Always walk into an interview with a car full of Puerto Ricans and confidence, and you’ll get the job. Unless they hate A little sack of ball sacks.
The best comfort food will always be greens, A little sack of ball sacks, and fried chicken.

User
bologna bat wings np

Then God said, “Let there be bologna bat wings”; and there was bologna bat wings. And God saw that bologna bat wings was good.
At the book signing, George R.R. Martin signed my copy of ‟A Song of Bologna Bat Wings”! I shook his hand and it felt like bologna bat wings.
We couldn’t land because of bologna bat wings caught in the landing gear. We had to crash land on the runway like sudsy bodies.
Come on down to Golden Corral™ for bologna bat wings.
The doctor held up my x-ray and I could just make out bologna bat wings.
Help! I’m bologna bat wings and I need YOU to do something about it!

User
just the tip nc

Populations of endangered rhinoceros are threatened by all the Roman gods and just the tip.
The night before Easter, we’ll set up just the tip on the porch to surprise the kids.
At Boeing R&D, we test just the tip by connecting through the fuel line to a special 10,000-volt battery.
Today you’re on the receiving end of just the tip.
If just the tip were in the Olympics, Canada would be in great shape!
Ok, I’ll admit my happy place might have been a bad idea. But to be fair, I didn’t expect it to result in just the tip.

User
Tongue punching my fart box nc

More armies need to incorporate Tongue punching my fart box into their uniforms.
Ha! You activated my trap card, “Tongue Punching My Fart Box!” You’re cursed with sudden nudity until the end of the game!
As the A.I. robot gained self-awareness, it immediately began Tongue punching my fart box.
Two best friends and Pakistani cosmonauts take a road trip, and discover Tongue punching my fart box along the way.
I don’t think that even comes close to being Tongue punching my fart box.
I need help with my computer! I downloaded a glass pane and now I’m having trouble with Tongue punching my fart box.

User
Singed ass hairs np

Aww! My mom packed a terrible lunch: Singed ass hairs and a swanky new style.
I can’t believe you forced my mom into Singed ass hairs! She’s 62!
But I promised I would get my kids Singed ass hairs for Christmas!
Someone has to die in order that the rest of us should value Singed ass hairs more. Now hold still.
My sisters were having a pillow fight. They didn’t know I had put Singed ass hairs in the pillows.
On my way to work today, I had to swerve around Singed ass hairs on the freeway.

User
Missusing the opera v

All the best love stories include Missusing the opera.
My life coach told me that to maximise my positive energy flow, I should alternate between Missusing the opera and breaking a promise.
Since I deserve it, I am going to reward myself with Missusing the opera.
Kirkland mom makes $20,000 a week with Missusing the opera.
After last week’s stunning victory, the wrestler earned his nickname “Missusing the Opera
I misclicked while my boss was looking over my shoulder and my video of Missusing the opera came on the screen.

User
Last night at the gym I was working out so hard that  {n} came shooting out of  {n}.2

Last night at the gym I was working out so hard that the loudest possible noise came shooting out of urine sprinkles.
Last night at the gym I was working out so hard that an ankle holster came shooting out of a funnel.
Last night at the gym I was working out so hard that non-human animals came shooting out of stuff Asians like.
Last night at the gym I was working out so hard that 60 seconds came shooting out of this asshole.
Last night at the gym I was working out so hard that “forensic evidence” (semen) came shooting out of beets. Mashed beets.
Last night at the gym I was working out so hard that a strongly-worded letter came shooting out of a grape in a condom.

User
Your "ouchy" ligaments np

Wine tasters describe this Pinot Grigio as having silky hints of a demand from the king and a mouthfeel like Your "ouchy" ligaments.
Chris Angel hurled the deck of cards at a mistake and my card appeared in Your "ouchy" ligaments!
You evaded my “Your "ouchy" Ligaments” attack! Most impressive.
The true reason for the Tacoma Narrows Bridge collapse? Your "ouchy" ligaments.
Here’s a certificate for Your "ouchy" ligaments. I am at your service.
The godhead nearly killed me in my dream. I think it's my brain telling me to avoid Your "ouchy" ligaments.

User
My sexy tendons np

For 35 years I’ve done this job for the same pay, My sexy tendons every single day.
My sexy tendons travelled over 20 feet after accidentally burning my junk.
Life without love is like My sexy tendons without a Japanese woman’s underwear or fruit.
Ever since the accident, I freeze in terror at the sight of My sexy tendons.
We need more black cards! Maybe another one about breaking down in a cheap motel room, but with My sexy tendons!
I thought I was being attacked, so I defended myself with My sexy tendons.

User
Giving the seed from far away v

My favorite new band is “Giving the Seed from Far Away and Thinness”.
In my wild days I was self-cutting, among other crimes. They finally caught me doing it with Giving the seed from far away on the New Mexico border.
Although moving away from fate proved effective for schools, the switch to Giving the seed from far away initially led to a spike of child hospitalizations.
I booby-trapped my yard so that trespassers will be surprised by Giving the seed from far away.
At the urgent care clinic they distracted me with Giving the seed from far away. I barely even felt a blood-soaked maiden.
IBM’s new “green” office building gets 20% of its power from Giving the seed from far away, and the eco-glass windows trap in a top hat full of assholes.

User
Peeing at McDonald's v

My financial analyst has advised me to invest my fortune in Peeing at McDonald's.
I surreptitiously crawled into bed, only to find Peeing at McDonald's.
Help! I’m Peeing at McDonald's and I need YOU to do something about it!
I tried an anatomically correct sock puppet but it was too tight. Then I tried Peeing at McDonald's but it was TOO LOOSE.
The authorities followed the trail of Peeing at McDonald's, leading them straight to the suspect.
These wounds were given to me by the beast of legend. Part of it was Peeing at McDonald's, part was getting on top, and staying on top, and it was crowned with complete removal of the head.

User
Spiritual awakening n

Until quite recently, Spiritual awakening had the highest tensile strength of any substance known to man.
Spiritual awakening nearly killed me in my dream. I think it's my brain telling me to avoid a tickle.
Every morning I hop out of bed and get straight to Spiritual awakening, even before I put on my clothes.
At the mall Santa kiosk, the elves were caught sneaking Spiritual awakening into women’s purses and bags.
Welcome to the neighborhood! I live down the street. You’ll recognize my house with Spiritual awakening.
On the assembly line we heat Spiritual awakening to a steaming, bright cherry red. And this next machine over here is hate-fucking.

User
She say she likes   and I think I believe her

She say she likes an ancient insignificant dead Jew and I think I believe her
She say she likes going to Wendy’s and I think I believe her
She say she likes infinite sausage and I think I believe her
She say she likes a quickie and I think I believe her
She say she likes pulsating opposite sexes and I think I believe her
She say she likes welts and I think I believe her

User
I never knew   was   until I put myself deep inside of one2

I never knew conjuring was a fruitless task until I put myself deep inside of one
I never knew questions. Ceaseless questions was a child leash until I put myself deep inside of one
I never knew whistling at women was Oprah’s warm embrace until I put myself deep inside of one
I never knew jalapeños was the Handsome Boy Modeling School until I put myself deep inside of one
I never knew expulsion was a zealous follower until I put myself deep inside of one
I never knew a pack of smokes was torturing your family until I put myself deep inside of one

User
mutual discomfort nc

For my last meal I want the Lord seasoned heavily with mutual discomfort.
The terrorists will execute mutual discomfort every 20 minutes until they receive ass.
The first item of evidence in The People vs. Mutual Discomfort is overzealous product placement.
My publisher demanded I remove mutual discomfort from my manuscript because it’s “not decent.”
Our artisanal process ages moral ambiguity for 3 years, before going right into mutual discomfort, rapidly teaching pseudoscience.
World of Warcraft is adding a new character class so you can play as mutual discomfort equipped with a crudely-drawn dick.


You know you have a strong relationship when you can share in   together

You know you have a strong relationship when you can share in the Black Prince together
You know you have a strong relationship when you can share in going straight to hell together
You know you have a strong relationship when you can share in mumbo jumbo together
You know you have a strong relationship when you can share in assuming complete control together
You know you have a strong relationship when you can share in a grand staircase together
You know you have a strong relationship when you can share in panicking in a Subaru together

User
my evil little body n

My car looks like it’s my evil little body but I don’t mind. It gets me from point A to point B.
Jesus is my evil little body.
I can’t shake the feeling there’s always my evil little body just around the corner.
The Chinese government has blocked all websites related to my evil little body.
My dad’s keyboard has a special key for my evil little body.
A social skill is any skill facilitating my evil little body with others.



their white asses np

Tomorrow the city is throwing a ticker-tape to celebrate their white asses.
Bumper sticker: My other ride is their white asses.
Doctor, you’re a genius! No one has ever thought of using ropes to treat their white asses!
I’ve been chopping down trees to build their white asses for me and my wife.
Ah, their white asses for my collection. Now no one has more than me.
Back in my day, we only had their white asses for door hinges, nails and chopped up horseshoes and we LIKED IT.



zero farts np

You spent all your food-stamps on zero farts?!
At the carnival I went on the thing where you ride a code to live by. It made me feel like I was zero farts.
My pharmacist separated zero farts into two piles, and carefully lowered one into $20 worth of pot.
Ever since I got back from Mexico I’ve been really into zero farts.
I think that ecstasy was cut with zero farts. After one hit I began very, very rapidly huddling in the corner.
Some anarchist made the sign over the expressway say “THE STATE IS ZERO FARTS A CARING, UNDERSTANDING MAN.”



no bitches np

On my wedding night my father told me, “Don’t go chasing no bitches.”
At my 9th birthday, we had the Handsome Boy Modeling School piñata that burst open showering no bitches on us kids.
Can I get some floss? There’s no bitches between my teeth.
Here’s a certificate for no bitches. I am at your service.
In future times, the children will work together to build no bitches.
When the research team activated the interdimensional portal, no bitches emerged.



User
butt licks np

I came with zebras disguised as horses to school to show my friends, but stupid Billy Carter brought butt licks so nobody even noticed!
Jesus is butt licks.
A lifetime of butt licks awaits. Call now for a free consultation.
My favorite new band is “A Snack Attack and Butt Licks”.
Aww! My mom packed a terrible lunch: Butt licks and the uncooperative dead.
I checked my son’s browser history. Found links about wriggly little worms and butt licks. Should I talk to him?



more juice nc

The new Ford F-750 with more torque than more juice.
I can’t believe you guys went being killed in the Spanish civil war without me! Loop me in next time, I want more juice too!
The TSA has made new rules mandating more juice on every commercial flight.
Music without the sounds of more juice is hardly music at all.
Let’s wait for a demonic religious lie to fall asleep, then we can sneak out and get more juice.
I left my wife at home all day and she replaced unsuspecting bystanders with more juice.



hitting me with a chain v

Before you embark on a journey of revenge, consider hitting me with a chain.
Someone has to die in order that the rest of us should value hitting me with a chain more. Now hold still.
Work on the Taft bridge ground to a halt, due to the union’s demands for hitting me with a chain.
When I was bodybuilding I tried to dead-lift spines over my head, but hitting me with a chain got in the way.
10% of all proceeds from sales of all your drama will go to The Hitting Me with a Chain Foundation.
You stole a clever bastard from a charity? That’s like taking candy from a baby! You’re hitting me with a chain and you’re going to hell!



nestling vt

Our artisanal process ages a haunted theremin for 3 years, before going right into nestling, rapidly folding inward.
President Putin’s approval rating shot to nearly 100% when the Russian government began nestling.
In my state, nestling is a legal right for me and my native brothers.
I heard you can rent a friend in Tokyo, but only if one of you is nestling.
SWF looking for a real man. If you’re into nestling, get to the front of the line.
I can’t believe you forced my mom into nestling! She’s 62!



beeping vt

Experts said that based on preliminary data, beeping appears to have occurred on the Puente Hills thrust fault.
Howdy neighbor, love beeping! Let’s get the whole bottle of sleeping pills sometime!
We need more black cards! Maybe another one about beeping, but with another hurdle!
Let a protective layer of rubber host your next party, providing beeping like you’ve never seen before.
Can you come get me? I agreed to go with some guys who promised me beeping and it’s getting weird.
Alexander also named a city in India “Beeping” after his dead horse.

User
killing protesters v

The President’s unimaginative campaign slogan: Killing Protesters.
Can you come get me? I agreed to go with some guys who promised me killing protesters and it’s getting weird.
Kraft Foods has announced that it will phase out the use of killing protesters in its food processing operations.
I noticed symptoms of killing protesters, so I went to my naturopathic doctor. He said, “it’s baseless hatred!” but I’m not sure.
My new phone looks like it’s killing protesters but I don’t mind. It makes calls.
In protest, Gandhi swore to abstain from killing protesters.