Joke Truck

Joke Truck

General — Page [1]
SolidKAYOS
Count Adelaide

Roar Of The Tigress Medal
2007 Jun 24 • 84
68 ₧
1.========

Two blondes are walking in the forest when they come across marks in the ground.

One says to another, 'Oh, look at the deer tracks!'

'Those aren't deer trucks, you dumb blonde!' says the other. 'They're bear prints.'

'Deer tracks, you dumb blonde!'

'Bear prints, you dumb blonde!'

Next day's headlines : Two blondes killed by train in forest.


2.========


A boy in the sixth grade comes home after school one day. His mother notices that he's got a big smile on his face.

She asks, "Did anything special happen at school today?"

"Yes, Mom. I had sex with my English teacher!"

The mother is stunned. "You're going to talk about this with your father when he gets home."

Well, when dad comes home and hears the news he is pleased as punch. Beaming with pride, he walks over to his son and says, "Son, I hear you had sex with your English teacher."

"That's right, Dad."

"Well, you became a man today - this is cause for celebration. Let's head out for some ice cream, and then I'll buy that new bike you've been asking for."

"That sounds great, Dad, but I can I have a football instead? My ass is killing me."

3.========


This couple walks into a bar: The man goes of to the bog and leaves the women standing at the bar. A bloke goes up to the women and says, "I really really want to squeeze you tit's. Will you let me?"

The lady turns around and says, "How dare you, get away from me, you sicko!"

The bloke then says, "Oh you have a lovely arse can I rub it, please let me?"

The lady turns around and says, "Look you pervert get away from me! I'll get my boyfriend to beat you up if you don't piss off!"

The bloke takes no notice and continues to the woman, "I want to tip you upside down and fill you up with beer and down it in one big gulp."

"RIGHT... THAT IS IT" shouts the woman.

Just then her boyfriend comes out from the bog and says, "Whaz goin' on here?!?"

The woman says all hysterically, "That bloke over there said he wants to squeeze my tits!"

Her boyfriend rolled up one of his sleeves and was just about to smack him when the lady shouts "That's not all, he wants to rub my arse!"

So her boyfriend rolled up the other sleeve!

"And do you know what else he said? He wants to tip me upside down and fill me up with beer and down it in one big gulp! So are you going to beat him up then?"

Her boyfriend rolls down his sleeves and says "Of course not darling, I ain't messing with a bloke that can drink that much beer!!!"



4.========


A man walks into a country club, and asks to play a round of golf. The man behind the counter suggests he try one of their brand new mechanical caddies. The guy had just gotten his paycheck, so he had money to burn, he figured "what the hell".

He took the caddy out and it was great, it would tell him what club to use, what was wrong with his swing, and what direction his putts would break and how much. The man gets done, and shoots the best round of his life.

A month later he comes back and asks for one of the caddies. The manager replies, "I'm sorry, but we had to get rid of them." The man a little confused asks, "Why did you get rid of them, they were great." The manager explained that they were made out of metal, so when the sun reflected off of them, it blinded the other golfers.

Still confused, the man adds, "Well, why didn't you just paint them black?"

The manager replies "Well, we tried that, but then 2 of them didn't show up for work, and the others robbed the clubhouse."

5.========


Two cowboys were sitting in a bar when one asked his friend if he had heard of the new sex position called rodeo. His friend says no, what is it?

Well you mount your wife from the back, reach around and cup her breasts with both hands.

Then say, "Boy, those are almost as nice as your sisters".

Then see if you can hold on for 8 seconds.


Make awkward sexual advances, not war.
Down Rodeo said:
Dammit, this was the one place that didn't have this, but noooooo, molkman pisses all over that
 
 
2008 Dec 13 at 14:35 PST — Ed. 2008 Dec 13 at 15:12 PST
FallingShit
"title" fuck shit stack"?"

2008 Jul 10 • 226
Heres one


:::Wanna know what the position the pirate is?
it's where your about to burst get her attention do it in her eye then kick her in the shin and watch her hopping around on one foot and cuffing her eye saying "aaaaaarrrrrrr":::

:::What do you call a black man flying a plane?
A pilot you racist motherfucker!:::

de shit heeft getroffen de ventilator
 
 
2008 Dec 17 at 05:43 PST
eDan Co.
Mighty Typist

Real Live Hands-On Rabbi Medal
Consolation Medal
2007 Sep 24 • 2921
252 ₧
Havokk's were better.

Wait, you're both Havokk, that's strange.
May contain traces of invisible text.
 
 
2008 Dec 17 at 06:10 PST
FallingShit
"title" fuck shit stack"?"

2008 Jul 10 • 226
true i do like hentai like him but the problems is you dont know what we look like. so haha you need more clues!

de shit heeft getroffen de ventilator
 
 
2008 Dec 17 at 08:21 PST
Down Rodeo
Cap'n Moth of the Firehouse

Find the Hole II Participation Medal
2007 Oct 19 • 5486
57,583 ₧
Howzabout you two being on at the same times (not the same time, you know what I mean) and having very similar writing styles?
 
 
2008 Dec 17 at 08:31 PST
SolidKAYOS
Count Adelaide

Roar Of The Tigress Medal
2007 Jun 24 • 84
68 ₧
Guys thats really not me...ive always told you guys what my accounts was and that ones not mine!for christ sake!
Make awkward sexual advances, not war.
Down Rodeo said:
Dammit, this was the one place that didn't have this, but noooooo, molkman pisses all over that
 
 
2008 Dec 17 at 13:19 PST
DaveDays
Miley Cyrus Stalker

2008 Jul 21 • 203
153 ₧
number 2 was funny.

 
 
2008 Dec 18 at 15:52 PST
jrkookid
Half Irish, half NOT FUNNY

2007 May 27 • 1415
110 ₧
DaveDays said:
number 2 was funny.


damn right son
 
 
2008 Dec 21 at 08:12 PST
FallingShit
"title" fuck shit stack"?"

2008 Jul 10 • 226
yeah havokk is telling the truth im not him but we could be clones

joking of course though we arnt

de shit heeft getroffen de ventilator
 
 
2008 Dec 21 at 14:55 PST
Clone Trooper

2008 Dec 21 • 22
FallingShit said:
yeah havokk is telling the truth im not him but we could be clones

joking of course though we arnt

well you do act like havokk is some cases
"Cover Me!"
 
 
2008 Dec 21 at 15:58 PST — Ed. 2008 Dec 21 at 15:58 PST
SRAW
Rocket Man

2007 Nov 6 • 2525
601 ₧
Clone Trooper and Falling shit ARE havokk
Free Steam Games
 
 
2008 Dec 21 at 23:05 PST
Down Rodeo
Cap'n Moth of the Firehouse

Find the Hole II Participation Medal
2007 Oct 19 • 5486
57,583 ₧
I have to say, I'm not sure about Clone Trooper... The style seems very different. But then, he did make Darth Vader.
 
 
2008 Dec 22 at 04:04 PST
FallingShit
"title" fuck shit stack"?"

2008 Jul 10 • 226
you guys are good.... real good...
de shit heeft getroffen de ventilator
 
 
2008 Dec 22 at 04:49 PST
aaronjer
*****'n Admin

Comrade General 5-Star
2005 Mar 21 • 4600
1,227 ₧
Who the fuck else would it be?!
 
 
2008 Dec 22 at 10:19 PST
koolkid
2008 Oct 8 • 61
i didnt get num 4
heres a yo mama jokes
yo mama so ugly yo dad thought he was look looking at his child[ren]
 
 
2008 Dec 22 at 11:20 PST — Ed. 2008 Dec 22 at 11:47 PST
eDan Co.
Mighty Typist

Real Live Hands-On Rabbi Medal
Consolation Medal
2007 Sep 24 • 2921
252 ₧
That makes no sense at all. Isn't your mother's husband your father?

Oh, and #4 was a racist black-joke.
May contain traces of invisible text.
 
 
2008 Dec 22 at 11:32 PST
koolkid
2008 Oct 8 • 61
freakon racists

i got another

a pirate walked in a bar and asked 4 a beer
the bartender said,"i will give him it 4 free
if he told him how he got is peg leg.
"i was walking down a road when i stepped in a beer trap."
the bartender gave him his free beer.he asked 4 another
the bartender said he would give him another free beer if
he told him how he got his hook.
"i was harpoon fishing when i grabed the harpoon and a shark bit my hand off."
he asked 4 another and the bartender said," tell me how u got
that eye patch and consider ur self swimin in a lake of beer."
"A week after i got my hook a seagull shit in my eye and i used
my hook hand to wipe it out."
 
 
2008 Dec 22 at 11:44 PST — Ed. 2008 Dec 23 at 16:44 PST
Down Rodeo
Cap'n Moth of the Firehouse

Find the Hole II Participation Medal
2007 Oct 19 • 5486
57,583 ₧
koolkid said:
A pirate walked into a bar and asked 4 a beer. The bartender said he would give him one for free if the pirate told him how he got his peg leg.
"I was walkin' through an island jungle when I stepped in a bear trap," said the pirate. The bartender gave him a beer; the pirate drank it and asked for another. The bartender said he would give him another free beer if the pirate told him how he got his hook.
"I was harpoon fishin' when a shark leaped out th' water and bit off me 'and," the pirate regaled. He then asked for another. The bartender said,
"Tell me how you got that eye patch then," to which the pirate replied
"A week af'er I got me hook I were out swimmin' and a bloody seagull shat in me eye!"

I couldn't leave that unchanged, honestly. That was terrible. Do you even try?
 
 
2008 Dec 22 at 16:00 PST
eDan Co.
Mighty Typist

Real Live Hands-On Rabbi Medal
Consolation Medal
2007 Sep 24 • 2921
252 ₧
Thanks, Rodeo. I spent a few minutes deciphering it yesterday...

A man and a women are having sex. The man says "Oh, shit! I forgot to put a condom on!". The woman replies "It's okay, I already have aids.".
May contain traces of invisible text.
 
 
2008 Dec 23 at 00:47 PST
SolidKAYOS
Count Adelaide

Roar Of The Tigress Medal
2007 Jun 24 • 84
68 ₧
Thats like a burn on the husband...
Make awkward sexual advances, not war.
Down Rodeo said:
Dammit, this was the one place that didn't have this, but noooooo, molkman pisses all over that
 
 
2008 Dec 23 at 01:07 PST
koolkid
2008 Oct 8 • 61
very sad i would be burnin to death

oh yea i fixed my post
 
 
2008 Dec 23 at 16:38 PST — Ed. 2008 Dec 23 at 16:45 PST
Page [1]