Jokes and funny pictures!

Jokes and funny pictures!

General — Page [1]
The_sloth

2007 Feb 21 • -1274
: Here can you made some jokes and pictures(FUNNY!!!)

Hope you have some good jokes or something funnyy.....
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2007 Feb 23 at 03:36 PST
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 6441
An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar.

The bartender is put a little on edge. The first mathematician says, "Gimme a beer!"

The bartender puts a beer on the counter.

The second mathematician says, "Gimme half of a beer!"

The bartender shrugs and pours him half a beer.

The third mathematician says, "Gimme a quarter of a beer!"

Bartender pours 1/4 of a beer.

The fourth says, "Gimme an eighth of a beer!"

The bartender grabs two beers and slams them on the bar and says, "Work it out amongst yourselves!"
 
 
2007 Feb 23 at 10:09 PST
CornJer
Metal does cocaine.

Frontline Heroism Medal
2005 Mar 21 • 1531
36 ₧
A guy walked into a bar...





























Ouch.
If you jump high enough you'll hurt your ankles when you land.
 
 
2007 Feb 23 at 10:26 PST
The_sloth

2007 Feb 21 • -1274
Yo daddy is so poor he can't even pay attention.

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The Ballerina

A good-looking woman walks into a bar wearing a tube top. She sits down at the end of the bar and immediately raises her hand to signal the bartender for a beer. At that moment, everybody notices that she doesn't shave her armpits. When she finishes her drink she raises her arm again to get another one. Again, everybody sees her incredibly hairy armpits. This happens a few times.
Meanwhile, a drunk man on the other side of the bar says to the bartender as he passes him, "Hey! D'you see that ballerina on the other side of the bar?"

The bartender gives him a nod.

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A woman went to the Post Office to buy stamps for her Christmas Cards. "What denomination?" asked the clerk.
"Oh, good heavens! Have we come to this?" said the woman. "Well, give me 30 Catholic, 10 Baptist ones, 20 Lutheran, and 40 Presbyterian."



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A Post Office worker at the main sorting office finds an unstamped, poorly hand-written envelope addressed to God. He opens it and discovers it is from an elderly lady, distressed because some thief robbed her of 100 dollars. She will be cold and hungry for the rest of the month if she doesn't receive some divine intervention.

The worker organizes a collection amongst the other postal workers, who dig deep and come up with 96 dollars. They get it to her by special courier the same morning.

A week later, the same postal worker recognizes the same hand on another envelope. He opens it and reads: "Dear God, Thank you for the 100 dollars. This month would have been so bleak otherwise. P.S. It was four dollars short but that was probably those thieving bastards at the Post Office."



The neighborhood postman was retiring after 30 years. On his last day of delivering mail, all of the people on his route left him something in the mail box in honor of his retirement. Some left money, some left small gifts, and some met him at the door and invited him in for a drink.

As he was putting the mail in the mailbox of the last house, the door opened, and the woman of the house stood there in beautiful lingerie. She invited him inside and lead him upstairs where she made mad passionate love to him. After their lovemaking she lead him downstairs where she prepaired an exquisite dinner for him.

He found a dollar bill under his plate as he ate and asked her about it. She explained, "When I called my husband to tell ask him what we should give you for your retirement, he said, 'fuck him, give him a dollar.' Dinner was my idea."


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No Arms and No Legs... Pile

What do you call a guy with no arms or legs lying in a pile of leaves?
Russell.

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--That comment about Elton being "twice the woman" she ever was.
--Caught Eminem fantasizing about killing other women.

--Sick of hiding her love for the Insane Clown Posse.

--Sure, he talks and raps like a black man, but when he takes down his pants...

--Would rather end up like Nicole Kidman than Nicole SIMPSON.

--Overheard 5-year-old daughter shouting, "Faggot!" while watching "Mr. Rogers".

--Recently overtaken by a strange and unfamiliar compulsion to live past the age of 35.

--I mean come on, people. . . the dude LOST TO STEELY DAN!!!

--Thanks to a recent surgery, her head's no longer implanted deep within her own rectum.

...And The Top Reason Eminem's Wife Filed For Divorce. . .

--Sick of dating a rich, famous, abusive bastard. Would like to try a poor, unknown abusive bastard for a change.

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Not Going To Try This Again

A blonde decides to try horseback riding, even though she has had no lessons or prior experience. She mounts the horse unassisted and it immediately springs into motion. It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but the blonde begins to slip from the saddle. In terror, she grabs for the horse''s mane, but cannot seem to get a firm grip.
She tries to throw her arms around the horse''s neck, but she slides down the side of the horse anyway. The horse gallops along, seemingly ignorant of its slipping rider.

Finally, giving up her frail grip, the blonde attempts to leap away from the horse and throw herself to safety. Unfortunately, her foot becomes entangled in the stirrup, and she is now at the mercy of the horse''s pounding hooves as her head is struck against the ground over and over.

She starts to lose consciousness, but to her great fortune, Bobby, the Wal-Mart greeter, sees her and unplugs the horse.
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2007 Feb 25 at 10:12 PST
The_sloth

2007 Feb 21 • -1274
http://www.allstuff.dk/daily_pic.htm here a some link s to funny pictures How can I Add them to this "post a reply"?
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2007 Feb 25 at 11:03 PST
The_sloth

2007 Feb 21 • -1274
Bye I Have to go now! bye .......
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2007 Feb 25 at 12:11 PST
jacksmoke234
Tendrils McGee

2005 Mar 20 • 1375
34 ₧
How about instead of reposting, you edit your previous post, and add the new joke there :)
 
 
2007 Feb 26 at 04:45 PST
The_sloth

2007 Feb 21 • -1274
beacuse so can all read even new and old :D
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2007 Feb 26 at 05:43 PST — Ed. 2007 Jun 2 at 01:56 PDT
jacksmoke234
Tendrils McGee

2005 Mar 20 • 1375
34 ₧
No you can't, stop trying.

Look at my post count. You'll never get there, especially if you keep posting non-stop, you'll soon see your post count never increase :).

Thank you have a nice day.
 
 
2007 Feb 26 at 17:46 PST
NatureJay
SJA: Commander of Ruthless Abuse

Good Conduct Medal
2005 Mar 22 • 1871
574 ₧
Smoke is proof that our tendency to be irrational assholes yields fruit, or did at least once, and thus remains foundational for getting the rest of the internet back on the wagon.
100% natural, no antibiotics, and bloodgrass-fed
 
 
2007 Feb 26 at 19:13 PST
jacksmoke234
Tendrils McGee

2005 Mar 20 • 1375
34 ₧
"NatureJay" said:
Smoke is proof that our tendency to be irrational assholes yields fruit, or did at least once, and thus remains foundational for getting the rest of the internet back on the wagon.


This is true, if you look back at the very first posts that are in the General section of the forum, I was a reckloose and cared more about being a complete idiot than being the total opposite. But I soon found out, the hard way of course, that people like Aaronjer will keep you in check. So that is the moral of my story, don't repeat what I did, you won't like it and you might leave :O
 
 
2007 Feb 26 at 19:53 PST
The_sloth

2007 Feb 21 • -1274
Sry but i new.. i know how i do now :D ty
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2007 Feb 27 at 06:09 PST — Ed. 2007 Mar 3 at 10:06 PST
Master-of-Disast

2006 Apr 24 • 17
21 ₧
You’ve got a dream? I’ll break it! You’ve got a girl? I’ll take it! You wanna fight? Don’t try. You gonna win? Don’t lie.
 
 
2007 Feb 27 at 08:34 PST
The_sloth

2007 Feb 21 • -1274
...
http://www.Counter-Strike.com/affiliate/idevaffiliate.php?id=2300
Search for a great gameserver to every game? Try This company only 0.99 per slot! check it out!
 
 
2007 Feb 27 at 10:11 PST — Ed. 2007 Mar 3 at 10:07 PST
Master-of-Disast

2006 Apr 24 • 17
21 ₧
"brad1000" said:
shut up ill fight u


Oh it
You’ve got a dream? I’ll break it! You’ve got a girl? I’ll take it! You wanna fight? Don’t try. You gonna win? Don’t lie.
 
 
2007 Feb 27 at 11:47 PST
The_sloth

2007 Feb 21 • -1274
...
http://www.Counter-Strike.com/affiliate/idevaffiliate.php?id=2300
Search for a great gameserver to every game? Try This company only 0.99 per slot! check it out!
 
 
2007 Feb 27 at 11:47 PST — Ed. 2007 Mar 3 at 10:08 PST
The_sloth

2007 Feb 21 • -1274
http://www.Counter-Strike.com/affiliate/idevaffiliate.php?id=2300
Search for a great gameserver to every game? Try This company only 0.99 per slot! check it out!
 
 
2007 Mar 2 at 06:55 PST
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 6441
"The_sloth" said:
Beacause I can get "Top Posters or something...."


Whoops! Look what happened!

-1300
 
 
2007 Mar 2 at 15:06 PST
The_sloth

2007 Feb 21 • -1274
"superjer" said:
"The_sloth" said:
Beacause I can get "Top Posters or something...."


Whoops! Look what happened!

-1300



:'( (why me????) What have i done??
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2007 Mar 3 at 00:30 PST
The_sloth

2007 Feb 21 • -1274
"brad1000" said:
"The_sloth" said:
"Master-of-Disaster" said:
"brad1000" said:
shut up ill fight u


Oh it
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2007 Mar 3 at 00:33 PST
The_sloth

2007 Feb 21 • -1274
ill think this was a "funny site"
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2007 Jun 2 at 01:58 PDT
jrkookid
Half Irish, half NOT FUNNY

2007 May 27 • 1415
110 ₧
"The_sloth" said:
"superjer" said:
"The_sloth" said:
Beacause I can get "Top Posters or something...."


Whoops! Look what happened!

-1300



:'( (why me????) What have i done??

you dunked a guys head into the poop-hole in the outhouse

go figure
 
 
2007 Jun 16 at 17:24 PDT
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