talk to santa

talk to santa

General — Page [1]
the_cloud_system
polly pushy pants

2008 Aug 1 • 3074
-6 ₧
Human: a condom
Santa: Hmm.. I don't really think that would be a suitable present.

Human: rape?
Santa: Idiot.
Human: fagits?
Santa: I hope you are fast asleep when I visit your house on Christmas Eve.
Human: are you gay santa?
Santa: Of course I'm not gay. I'm happily married to Mrs Claus.

Her real name is Mary Christmas.
Human: you a pimp santa?
Santa: No not at all. I think you have me confused with some homeboi from da Bronx.
Human: how far can you bend over
Santa: More than one million miles.
Human: can you stick teh north pole up there?
Santa: Let me think. One of my elves has just run out of the workshop. I hope nothing is wrong.
Human: i took him
Santa: Do you take him often?
Human: to my house, yes
Santa: To Describe your surroundings to me.
Human: rope, leather, gimps, and a dead elf
Santa: My sleigh travels at speeds up to 3000 miles per hour when I am delivering presents.
Human: can you give me one thing santa?
Santa: Well if you ask more politely, I will see. Don't say "Give me", it's rude..
Human: may i have a roting corps?
Santa: I'll see if I have any of those in my workshop.
Human: whats in your work shop
Santa: That which is not outside my work shop.
Human: rapists?
Santa: My reindeer have been eating their carrots ready to pull my sleigh.
I drink to forget but I always remember.
 
 
2009 Nov 14 at 11:47 PST
the_cloud_system
polly pushy pants

2008 Aug 1 • 3074
-6 ₧
bump


they have no lives
I drink to forget but I always remember.
 
 
2010 Jan 31 at 20:47 PST
the_cloud_system
polly pushy pants

2008 Aug 1 • 3074
-6 ₧
IN PRISON..........you spend the majority of your time in a 10X10 cell.
AT WORK............you spend the majority of your time in an 8X8 cubicle.

IN PRISON.........you get three meals a day.
AT WORK...........you get a break for one meal and you have to pay for it.

IN PRISON..........you get time off for good behavior.
AT WORK............you get more work for good behavior.

IN PRISON..........the guard locks and unlocks all the doors for you.
AT WORK............you're often required to carry a security card and open all the doors yourself.

IN PRISON..........you can watch TV and play games.
AT WORK...........you get fired for watching TV and playing games.

IN PRISON.........you get your own toilet.
AT WORK..........you share the toilet with some people who pee on the seat.

IN PRISON..........they allow your family and friends to visit.
AT WORK............you're not supposed to even speak to your family.

IN PRISON.........all expenses are paid by the taxpayers.
AT WORK............you pay all your expenses to get to work, and then they deduct taxes from your salary to pay for prisoners.

IN PRISON..........you spend most of your life inside bars wanting to get out.
AT WORK ...........you spend most of your time wanting to get out and go inside bars.

IN PRISON .you must deal with sadistic wardens.
AT WORK...........they're called managers.
I drink to forget but I always remember.
 
 
2010 Feb 3 at 20:12 PST — Ed. 2010 Feb 3 at 20:14 PST
SRAW
Rocket Man

2007 Nov 6 • 2525
601 ₧
wow you actually play farmville

and the thing about work and prison, you fail to note that in work, you also get to go home or go out which > prison, thus making you FAIL
Free Steam Games
 
 
2010 Feb 3 at 23:10 PST
SolidKAYOS
Count Adelaide

Roar Of The Tigress Medal
2007 Jun 24 • 84
68 ₧
But you get to go home to your nagging wife < Prison is probably your pot smoking best friend who got you there in the first place.
Make awkward sexual advances, not war.
Down Rodeo said:
Dammit, this was the one place that didn't have this, but noooooo, molkman pisses all over that
 
 
2010 Feb 4 at 13:28 PST
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