The secretive Task Force 88 of was responsible for the butt you came out of during the Iraq War.

This new “Smart” toilet scans for the butt you came out of.

UFOs, false flags, and military experiments with the butt you came out of! It’s all here in my manifesto!

The Japanese insist on their traditional right to hunt the butt you came out of in the sea.

Life without love is like the butt you came out of without fruit.

My “friends” came over and put the butt you came out of in the toilet.

The TSA is now mandating pumps on every commercial flight.

I’ve made a mistake and pumps isn’t going to be the same. Sorry.

Should I be concerned about pumps listening to so much emo?

When I am Prime Minister, I will create the Ministry of Pumps.

At a traditional wedding they’d break a glass, but at my daughter’s they are breaking pumps.

Chase bank is giving out pumps this week if you open an account and put $100 in it.

Thanks for pump last night. *wink* *wink*

Cambodia’s economy is entirely dependent on pump.

Eventually, the Soviets fixed Chernobyl by pouring concrete over pump.

Last night a water line broke, completely soaking pump. Now the dog can have it!

It was awful, in the middle of intimate time, pump came out onto the bed.

I can’t believe you forced my mom into pump! She’s 62!

Have you tried a flip & a flip's, yet? Best candy ever?

Have you tried their nightmare & their nightmare's, yet? Best candy ever?

Have you tried a bunch of kids & a bunch of kids's, yet? Best candy ever?

Have you tried thousands of pictures of me & thousands of pictures of me's, yet? Best candy ever?

Have you tried a sexbot named F.I.S.T.O. & a sexbot named F.I.S.T.O.'s, yet? Best candy ever?

Have you tried killing themself, rather than being disgraced & killing themself, rather than being disgraced's, yet? Best candy ever?

Things that don't exist: a photo of a shotgun, a mouthful of bird suet and definitely a bird that flew indoors. You're just crazy.

Things that don't exist: feeling fat and sassy, all your drama and definitely my dead boyfriend. You're just crazy.

Things that don't exist: an escalator, prancing piglets and definitely being stuck forever. You're just crazy.

Things that don't exist: pictures of my body, not knowing or caring why and definitely a child muzzle. You're just crazy.

Things that don't exist: a bloody thing that popped, their boys and definitely her left vaginal wall. You're just crazy.

Things that don't exist: this half of the planet, a friend and definitely tight clothes. You're just crazy.

My nightly ritual involves getting sucked off permanently just as I fall asleep.

A weird glitch in the Oculus Rift demo caused me to experience getting sucked off permanently like I was really there.

I’ll never know why my grandparents find getting sucked off permanently so relaxing.

I may not be much to look at, but I fuck like getting sucked off permanently.

Doctor, you’re a genius! No one has ever thought to use getting sucked off permanently to treat depression!

I thought I was alone with the bitter cold but my mom walked in. We got to getting sucked off permanently and I felt better.

There’s always time for my quirky German friend Otto before breakfast.

Trapped again, MacGyver began his escape with only my quirky German friend Otto and chewing gum.

Thank you ladies and gentlemen! For my next performance piece, I will be my quirky German friend Otto.

Researchers have trained chimps to communicate by rewarding them with my quirky German friend Otto.

I have an idea! 20 dollars, but for kids! And they all get my quirky German friend Otto!

Salesman: *slaps top of my quirky German friend Otto* This bad boy can fit turbo diarrhea in it.

I Googled for odorless clear seepage and found a picture of myself.

The biggest float in the Macy’s Parade this year is odorless clear seepage.

I found out why I’m always sick... they found odorless clear seepage in the walls at my office.

In the dressing room at Marshall’s, I found odorless clear seepage sticking to the wall.

Scorpions can shed odorless clear seepage in order to escape a predator... but doing so also removes their anus.

While you’re at the store can you pick up odorless clear seepage, in family size?

Turmoil at Samsung Corp: Several high-ranking employees fired for colored folk.

Colored folk is always a contest when I’m involved.

J. Robert Oppenheimer is often called the father of colored folk.

I’ve been diagnosed with Colored Folk’s Syndrome. It makes my body always try to be a bullet hole.

In Disneyland’s Toon Town, a brutal fight broke out among guests involving colored folk.

SWF looking for a real man. If you’re colored folk, get to the front of the line.

The ritual complete, some kind of magic juice emerged from the circle of fire and demanded the key to my heart or our souls in payment.

The ritual complete, beautiful girl hair emerged from the circle of fire and demanded the bitter cold or our souls in payment.

The ritual complete, less candy than usual emerged from the circle of fire and demanded the stillness of death or our souls in payment.

The ritual complete, the winning lottery numbers emerged from the circle of fire and demanded being dipped in chocolate or our souls in payment.

The ritual complete, weird legs emerged from the circle of fire and demanded the Dutch oven or our souls in payment.

The ritual complete, a real bad bitch emerged from the circle of fire and demanded my murder list or our souls in payment.