aaronjer

aaronjer

User name
aaronjer
Assigned title
*****'n Admin
Assigned post color
#838405
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Medals
Comrade General 5-Star Comrade General 5-Star
Registration date
2005 March 21
Post count
4599
Score
1,227 ₧
Location
Upstairs by the sink.
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Timezone
America/Los_Angeles
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Recent posts by aaronjer

Recent posts by aaronjer

Aug 25 at 09:04 PDT
Armfuls of free treasure
np

Don’t shake the royal baby so hard, it’ll start armfuls of free treasure.
I scream, you scream, a day at the beach, armfuls of free treasure!
I can’t believe you guys went painting rude words on the cat without me! Loop me in next time, I want armfuls of free treasure too!
In protest, Gandhi swore to abstain from armfuls of free treasure.
Armfuls of free treasure? That’s my fetish!
“Mommy, where do babies come from?” “Well, when there’s good bacteria in love with armfuls of free treasure very much they do a... special hug.”

Jul 17 at 07:06 PDT
Be Inspired in General
Jun 24 at 17:03 PDT
I like internets!
Jun 1 at 10:54 PDT
In Disney's beguiling animated romp,  {n}—rebellious and 16—cannot resist learning about  .
Play 2

In Disney's beguiling animated romp, a strangler—rebellious and 16—cannot resist learning about damage.
In Disney's beguiling animated romp, friends that can keep a secret—rebellious and 16—cannot resist learning about the runs.
In Disney's beguiling animated romp, the latest fad—rebellious and 16—cannot resist learning about my secret sex gymnasium.
In Disney's beguiling animated romp, Walt Disney’s preserved ass cheeks—rebellious and 16—cannot resist learning about exhuming my wife.
In Disney's beguiling animated romp, other things I’ve put in my butt—rebellious and 16—cannot resist learning about a demon torture puzzle box.
In Disney's beguiling animated romp, a bear in a trashcan—rebellious and 16—cannot resist learning about a flea.

Jun 1 at 10:53 PDT
The scum of the Earth
n

“Mommy, where do babies come from?” “Well, when there’s the scum of the Earth in love with thinking about spiders very much they do a... special hug.”
Donald Trump’s first act as president was to outlaw the scum of the Earth.
I got a new app on my phone. It’s called “Intense Pain” and it helps me with the scum of the Earth.
Strength can only be killed by the scum of the Earth.
Her inheritance was squandered upon the scum of the Earth while Cinderella was abused and forced to become a prop gun in her own home.
How embarrassing! I forget I left the scum of the Earth in the foyer.

Jun 1 at 10:52 PDT
A hard worker with lots of big jobs
n

Here’s a certificate for a hard worker with lots of big jobs. I am at your service.
As the A.I. robot gained self-awareness, it immediately began a hard worker with lots of big jobs.
When the suspect’s car crashed, a hard worker with lots of big jobs launched from the trunk and landed sixty feet away on most people.
Back in my day, we only had alcohol for a hard worker with lots of big jobs and we LIKED IT.
I’ll never know why my grandparents find a hard worker with lots of big jobs so relaxing.
This ship’s gonna sink unless we throw a hard worker with lots of big jobs overboard!

Jun 1 at 10:50 PDT
Monkeying around
v

At the Amazon Go store you can grab military-themed porn and walk right out the door without monkeying around.
I am become monkeying around, the destroyer of a puffed up chest.
The White House will no longer enforce The Monkeying Around Act of 1959. Thank God.
Cambodia’s economy is entirely dependent on monkeying around.
Growing up we never had bizarre funeral rites, but we had to deal with monkeying around, and I want the opposite for my children.
The government says chemtrails from planes are just condensation. But we know they're monkeying around!

Jun 1 at 10:47 PDT
A smiling chimp in a beanie
n

I went rafting, saw a smiling chimp in a beanie in the river, no big deal.
Every time I go to Costco I feel like I come back with a smiling chimp in a beanie.
Daddy! There’s a smiling chimp in a beanie under my bed. Kill it kill it!
I misclicked while my boss was looking over my shoulder and my video of a smiling chimp in a beanie came on the screen.
At the auto parts store, the salesman tried to upsell me on that jackass when I bought a smiling chimp in a beanie.
The community buttplug can actually erode a smiling chimp in a beanie, which is gradually causing a decrease in effectiveness.

Jun 1 at 10:46 PDT
Wiggle room
nc

Happiness: A foul odor, wiggle room, and juicing up.
Life without love is like long deep kisses with eyes wide open without wiggle room or fruit.
Though mortally wounded by three shots to his abdomen, the Secret Service agent returned fire, killing the assassin with wiggle room.
My girlfriend was getting something out of the closet. Lucky she didn’t look up, or she’d have seen wiggle room.
I was so surprised to see wiggle room that deviant urges fell out of my mouth.
The city condemned our house after finding wiggle room in the crawlspace.

Jun 1 at 10:40 PDT
A kind note from gram-gram
n

These wounds were given to me by the beast of legend. Part of it was impacting my sister, part was dank memes, and it was crowned with a kind note from gram-gram.
I don’t give money to the homeless. Instead I provide a kind note from gram-gram directly.
When I get older, I don’t want to be a kind note from gram-gram.
Ha! You activated my trap card, “An Upstart!” You’re cursed with a kind note from gram-gram until the end of the game!
The night before Easter, we’ll set up a kind note from gram-gram on the porch to surprise the kids.
In New York, a new law went into effect at midnight making it legal to buy a kind note from gram-gram one ounce at a time.