aaronjer

aaronjer

User name
aaronjer
Assigned title
*****'n Admin
Assigned post color
#838405
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Comrade General 5-Star Comrade General 5-Star
Registration date
2005 March 21
Post count
4637
Score
1,227 ₧
Location
Upstairs by the sink.
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Timezone
America/Los_Angeles
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Recent posts by aaronjer

Recent posts by aaronjer

The merciless clutch of the enraged corpse-knight
n

A new study found that giving employees compliments and the merciless clutch of the enraged corpse-knight can help motivate them, even more than a cash bonus.
That kind of attitude is why we have the merciless clutch of the enraged corpse-knight now.
This food is so good it’s making the merciless clutch of the enraged corpse-knight quiver!
Wife and I got a bit kinky last night. Ended up at the hospital to get the merciless clutch of the enraged corpse-knight removed from her and an unexpected finger removed from me.
My sisters were having a pillow fight. They didn’t know I had put the merciless clutch of the enraged corpse-knight in the pillows.
My wife printed me a certifcate for the merciless clutch of the enraged corpse-knight. I’m excited for tonight!

Dec 30 at 19:33 PST
Somebody else's pussy
n

Somebody else's pussy? That’s my fetish!
If mom hears us talking about somebody else's pussy we’ll be SO grounded!
Experts said that based on preliminary data, somebody else's pussy appears to have occurred on the Puente Hills thrust fault.
In a miraculous 18-hour operation, a toddler from Ivory Coast had somebody else's pussy removed so she can live a normal life.
At work I secretly have somebody else's pussy under my desk.
How high do you have to be to put somebody else's pussy on greed, secrets, poison and murder?

Dec 30 at 10:38 PST
A gremlin that wants your poop
n

I thought I just had gas, but it came out as a gremlin that wants your poop.
My favorite new band is “A Nosedive and a Gremlin That Wants Your Poop”.
This land is a gremlin that wants your poop land, this land is KA-BLAM!! land.
We can’t ALL get away with treating women like a gremlin that wants your poop.
At Home Depot they have this new all-in-one tool that’s shaped like a gremlin that wants your poop and can be used for mailing anthrax.
At the winery tour we saw how they put a gremlin that wants your poop and grapes in the tank, but it smelled like reduced brain intelligence.

Dec 29 at 14:31 PST
Exercise with my sister
nc

Every morning I hop out of bed and get straight to exercise with my sister, even before I put on my clothes.
Original style is fine, but chunky kinda tastes like exercise with my sister.
I wanted to freak out my girlfriend so I got exercise with my sister out of the fridge and squeezed it onto my pie slice. Ha ha!
I want to be buried with exercise with my sister.
Last thing I hear before the anesthesia kicks in is my neurosurgeon saying he’s exercise with my sister.
Exercise with my sister has proven extremely popular among young, urban audiences in focus testing.

The two remaining Beastie Boys
n

Her inheritance was squandered upon the two remaining Beastie Boys while Cinderella was abused and forced to become it to come out the other end in her own home.
When you two are done hatching out of an egg, can we please get the two remaining Beastie Boys and get out of here?!
Zaloxocor is not for everyone. Side effects include the two remaining Beastie Boys, Teddy Roosevelt’s giant fossilized face, dry mouth, and my DNA.
Great job on the proposal for shooting a rabbit with an arrow, Dave! You’re in line for a raise, and the boss might even give you the two remaining Beastie Boys.
The new Fallout DLC will allow you to recruit oral passion and acquire the two remaining Beastie Boys!
Can you call poison control? My daughter just swallowed the two remaining Beastie Boys.

Nov 16 at 12:24 PST
What looks to me like a real penis
n

But I promised I would get my kids what looks to me like a real penis for Christmas!
I got what looks to me like a real penis as a pet! Do you want to see the racy picture we took with two firetrucks?
In this game you get to collect hot, sweaty, wall-slamming sex and craft what looks to me like a real penis.
Chimps in the wild have been observed using what looks to me like a real penis to forage for food.
My displeasure torture” may be cruel but it’s worth it to get what looks to me like a real penis from a suspected terrorist.
The Sword of Damocles was what looks to me like a real penis hanging over King Dionysius by a thread.

Using the bathroom in a normal way
v

While you’re at the store can you pick up using the bathroom in a normal way, in family size?
10% of all proceeds from sales of Angelina Jolie’s lips will go to The Using the Bathroom in a Normal Way Foundation.
I’m using the bathroom in a normal way today because tomorrow I’ll be over-encumbered with tikka masala.
SWF looking for a real man. If you’re using the bathroom in a normal way, get to the front of the line.
The three techniques of Sumo Wrestling: A finely sculpted buttock, the ’80s and using the bathroom in a normal way.
Somebody screenshotted my Snapchat and now everyone thinks I’m using the bathroom in a normal way.


Sex that gets you pregnant
nc

I booby-trapped my yard so that trespassers will be surprised by sex that gets you pregnant.
Terrified, I scrambled up the tree, with sex that gets you pregnant jumping and nipping at me from below and even threatening my wife and child.
My girlfriend kicked sex that gets you pregnant, and now she’s a Japanese vending machine. I want to break up with her but I’m afraid!
In protest, Gandhi swore to abstain from sex that gets you pregnant.
Ever since I got back from Mexico I’ve been really into sex that gets you pregnant.
I was surprised to find bones in sex that gets you pregnant. Is that normal?

Oct 26 at 09:51 PDT
A woman who just got out of the shower
n

Back in my day, we only had a woman who just got out of the shower for the women and we LIKED IT.
The new hit reality show: Can You Swallow a Woman Who Just Got out of the Shower?
Your attempt to get little Susie what’s-her-name drunk on lime vodka ended with a woman who just got out of the shower.
Don't you know the lobbyists bribe all the senators with a woman who just got out of the shower?
It’s lucky to touch a woman who just got out of the shower; it’s even luckier to touch mine.
In my wild days I was licking, among other crimes. They finally caught me doing it with a woman who just got out of the shower on the New Mexico border.

Aug 23 at 07:59 PDT
Comanche clothing was simple. Men wore  {n} with  {n} to fasten it.
Play 2

Comanche clothing was simple. Men wore a Japanese woman’s underwear with you and me to fasten it.
Comanche clothing was simple. Men wore my salvation with a fridge full of heads to fasten it.
Comanche clothing was simple. Men wore another way to kill me with delicate ladybrains to fasten it.
Comanche clothing was simple. Men wore ribs with the escape route to fasten it.
Comanche clothing was simple. Men wore steers and queers with half the people around here to fasten it.
Comanche clothing was simple. Men wore a gold ingot with a promise to fasten it.