aaronjer

aaronjer

User name
aaronjer
Assigned title
*****'n Admin
Assigned post color
#838405
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Comrade General 5-Star Comrade General 5-Star
Registration date
2005 March 21
Post count
4745
Score
1,227 ₧
Location
Upstairs by the sink.
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Timezone
America/Los_Angeles
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Recent posts by aaronjer

Recent posts by aaronjer

Milk
?

There is a rumor that Marilyn Manson had milk removed so he could pleasure himself.
My kid was acting up, so I took away milk privileges.
Steve Jobs thought he could cure his cancer with milk, a naturopathic remedy.
Before you embark on a journey of revenge, consider milk.
My fiancee wants our wedding cake to have milk on the top.
Blue Whaling: the disturbing internet trend in which teens commit suicide by milk.

Thursday at 22:56 PST
His child bride
n

His-Child-Bride-a-Roni: the San Francisco treat!
They said his child bride was out of my league, but look at me now! I’m the king of his child bride!
Chris Angel hurled the deck of cards at his child bride and my card appeared on top!
After 6 years in development, I have created his child bride.
Any man who can drive safely while kissing his child bride is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves.
Kraft Foods has announced that it will phase out the use of his child bride in its food processing operations.

Thursday at 22:44 PST
My night-sheathe
n

The new Fallout DLC will allow you to recruit a tiny bat crawling up your peehole and acquire my night-sheathe!
A Freudian slip is when you mean to say your mother, but you accidentally say, “my night-sheathe.”
Last night at the gym I was working out so hard that several clones of hitler came shooting out of my night-sheathe.
At the acupuncture clinic they stuck needles in my night-sheathe. That’s supposed to help me with rude kids?!
The biggest float in the Macy’s Parade this year is my night-sheathe.
I didn’t have any cash, so I tipped the pizza guy with my night-sheathe.



A fresh new layer of skin
n

Ok, I’ll admit a fresh new layer of skin might have been a bad idea. But to be fair, I didn’t expect it to result in high-fiving an entire family including the dog.
So I agree to go up to the apartment, where I find a fresh new layer of skin all lubed up, ready to go. Ew!
If you have a dream about school, it means you’re worried about a fresh new layer of skin.
The Spice girls are getting back together with a new member: A Fresh New Layer of Skin Spice!
People in Taiwan are getting a fresh new layer of skin implanted in their bodies for smearing.
J. Robert Oppenheimer is often called the father of a fresh new layer of skin.

Jan 11 at 13:07 PST
Daddy
n

I refuse to roleplay as anything but daddy.
Let Martha host your next party, providing daddy like you’ve never experienced before.
United Airlines had a passenger beaten and dragged off a plane when he refused to give up daddy.
Today I bought a coked up hooker from the back of a van. They also threw in daddy, which I didn’t even think was legal.
My dream house has a dispensor for daddy built in.
Josh said, on the way in to work today, he swerved around daddy on the freeway.

I have  {n}. For safe return, deposit  {n} in  {n} by midnight.
Play 3

I have slavery. For safe return, deposit a big donkey in the last condom by midnight.
I have reduced brain intelligence. For safe return, deposit crush beast in a boyfriend shaped bed by midnight.
I have insane shoes. For safe return, deposit hot biscuits & gravy in tikka masala by midnight.
I have a uniquely British problem. For safe return, deposit micropenises in just the tip by midnight.
I have three carrots. For safe return, deposit cough syrup in a can of Coke by midnight.
I have a macabre mixture of milk and blood shooting out of every orifice. For safe return, deposit crotch rot in a wank by midnight.

An infinite feedback loop of turbo-violence
n

President Putin’s approval rating shot to nearly 100% when the Russian government began an infinite feedback loop of turbo-violence.
In scouts we built a huge catapult to launch an infinite feedback loop of turbo-violence at the girls camp.
Don Quixote, having never seen a windmill before, instantly assumed it was an infinite feedback loop of turbo-violence and tried to attack it.
Sky watchers are excited to gaze upon the Super Blood Moon, which is caused by an infinite feedback loop of turbo-violence.
An infinite feedback loop of turbo-violence gets me into some awkward situations. But I won’t stop.
At the carnival I went on the thing where you ride an infinite feedback loop of turbo-violence.

Stimulating lactation
v

The 2020 Olympics will feature a new sport: synchronized stimulating lactation.
The letters on a modern keyboard come from typewriters, which were arranged by stimulating lactation.
Stimulating lactation nearly killed me in my dream. I think it’s my brain telling me to avoid a dusty butthole.
I always get caught stimulating lactation in the locker room. Sorry.
In this 15th century painting, stimulating lactation is represented by a man with cheese for a head.
Look, man, I’m not into stimulating lactation. But $20 is $20.

Dec 25 at 12:06 PST
My personal lubrication
nc

The TSA has made new rules mandating my personal lubrication on every commercial flight.
In New York, a new law went into effect making it legal to buy my personal lubrication from dispensaries.
My personal lubrication like this is enough to kill a horse!
Jesus is my personal lubrication.
This year’s hottest album is “My Personal Lubrication” by No More Joy.
If it weren’t for me, you wouldn’t even be my personal lubrication.

Dec 24 at 17:27 PST
Pulsating squid monsters
np

We put pulsating squid monsters in your tea!
I’m a dog head today because tomorrow I’ll be too busy with pulsating squid monsters.
I accidentally dropped pulsating squid monsters in the urinal at the Jeep dealership.
More armies need to incorporate pulsating squid monsters into their uniforms.
Donald Trump’s first act as president was to outlaw pulsating squid monsters.
In the dressing room at Marshall’s, I found pulsating squid monsters sticking to the wall.

A quality pair of ovaries
n

The fire department came around and complained that we had too many electronics plugged into a quality pair of ovaries.
My school is throwing a quality pair of ovaries party this weekend. I don’t really want to go...
But of the tree of a quality pair of ovaries you shall not eat, for in the day you eat of it you shall surely die.
The FBI is at the door. I think they're here because of... you know... a quality pair of ovaries.
Pundits agree it will take a quality pair of ovaries for the senator to win the election.
Kraft Foods has announced that it will phase out the use of a quality pair of ovaries in its food processing operations.