aaronjer

aaronjer

User name
aaronjer
Assigned title
*****'n Admin
Assigned post color
#838405
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Comrade General 5-Star Comrade General 5-Star
Registration date
2005 March 21
Post count
4608
Score
1,227 ₧
Location
Upstairs by the sink.
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Timezone
America/Los_Angeles
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Recent posts by aaronjer

Recent posts by aaronjer

Feb 21 at 18:43 PST
The bathroom I was raped in
n

This ship’s gonna sink unless we throw the bathroom I was raped in overboard!
We need more black cards! Maybe another one about the bathroom I was raped in, but with Tony’s prison baby!
My financial analyst has advised me to invest my fortune in the bathroom I was raped in.
President Reagan and his entire cabinet got the bathroom I was raped in before every meeting.
The thief was caught stealing a crack in the sky from the sultan, and so was thrown into the pit of the bathroom I was raped in.
Nut sack hairs is a temporary setback on the road to the bathroom I was raped in!

Feb 19 at 01:58 PST
A safe place for Harrison Ford
n

Always makes me hungry when I see the butcher shop with a safe place for Harrison Ford hanging in the window.
The main ingredient in a safe place for Harrison Ford is the tickle zone.
If Benjamin Franklin didn’t invent a safe place for Harrison Ford, certainly others would have.
I’m late to my meeting for a safe place for Harrison Ford.
No more a safe place for Harrison Ford at Starbucks.
During the half-time show, a rip in this asshole exposed a safe place for Harrison Ford to the audience.

Feb 10 at 15:36 PST
Surprising the kids with incest
v

While I was out the dog chewed into the packaging on a rope tied round my leg. I found him surprising the kids with incest.
At Home Depot they have this new all-in-one tool that’s shaped like loose morals and can be used for surprising the kids with incest.
It’s important to pack the essentials when camping, such as water, first aid, backing up on it, toilet paper, shelter, and surprising the kids with incest.
I saw my hood down the long corridor, two of them, actually. I stood still in terror as they said, “You’ll be surprising the kids with incest with us.”
I think it’s lovely that you’re getting into impacting my sister, but I won’t tell your father. He’ll start surprising the kids with incest.
I thought I was alone with the rope my pappy hanged his self with but my mom walked in. We got to surprising the kids with incest and I felt better.

Feb 10 at 15:32 PST
Some amount of incest
nc

Donald Trump’s first act as president was to outlaw some amount of incest.
I’ve been single ever since my girlfriend found out I had some amount of incest.
While you’re at the store can you pick up some amount of incest, in family size?
I got into my car and sat on some amount of incest. Slowly, a smile crept over my face.
The night before Easter, we’ll set up some amount of incest on the porch to surprise the kids.
I got so drunk last night that I got some amount of incest all over everyone and everything.

The colder of my two feet
n

The new MacBook Pro weighs about as much as a gentle kiss on the teeth and comes with 1 USB-C port and the colder of my two feet! Groovy!
President Reagan and his entire cabinet got the colder of my two feet before every meeting.
No wonder Dad lost his money, he invested in the colder of my two feet!
Daddy! There’s the colder of my two feet under my bed. Kill it kill it!
The media’s nonstop coverage of the colder of my two feet is just to distract us from a menacing spike.
I’ve been single ever since my girlfriend found out I had the colder of my two feet.

Rare pulls from my booster box
np

I booby-trapped my yard so that trespassers will be surprised by rare pulls from my booster box.
The first item of evidence in The People vs. Rare Pulls from My Booster Box is earwig pincers.
Our artisanal process ages a lab-grown testicle for a wounded soldier for 3 years, before going right into rare pulls from my booster box, rapidly squirting acid.
I didn’t mean to start rare pulls from my booster box, it just happened!
J. Robert Oppenheimer is often called the father of rare pulls from my booster box.
Chase bank is giving out rare pulls from my booster box this week if you open an account and put $100 in it.

Oct 31 at 00:39 PDT
The lemurs we all love
np

They cut open the crocodile to find the lemurs we all love, still allowing babies to starve while you gorge like always.
An elevator nearly killed me in my dream. I think it’s my brain telling me to avoid the lemurs we all love.
The TSA has made new rules mandating the lemurs we all love on every commercial flight.
Are you there God? It’s me, the lemurs we all love.
Sean Connery famously likes to spend his whole vacation in a beach chair with the lemurs we all love in his lap.
The hottest new cryptocurrency is “The-lemurs-we-all-love-coin” -- but it can only be used for transactions involving dat ass.

2019 Jun 10 at 01:22 PDT
An overwhelming lust for Asian penises
n

Dwayne Johnson has a secret tattoo that reads, “an overwhelming lust for Asian penises,” with a picture of divorce papers.
Making the best cookies requires a tacky, god-awful facelift and an overwhelming lust for Asian penises.
You should come over. I’ve got lots of an overwhelming lust for Asian penises at my place.
After Lincoln was shot, an overwhelming lust for Asian penises briefly became the next president.
The biggest float in the Macy’s Parade this year is an overwhelming lust for Asian penises.
I’m NOT upgrading to the new iPhone now that Apple has announced it will have an overwhelming lust for Asian penises.

2019 Apr 10 at 16:36 PDT
A teenage lesbian in a bathtub
n

A teenage lesbian in a bathtub is slightly prolapsed right now because I was just getting crushed between two trucks. Sorry.
My financial analyst has advised me to invest my fortune in a teenage lesbian in a bathtub.
No one in Morocco can be a teenage lesbian in a bathtub without registering with the government.
If it weren’t for me, you wouldn’t even be a teenage lesbian in a bathtub.
Taking care of a cat is easy: Leave out a teenage lesbian in a bathtub each day, put a caged madman in the corner and let kitty fend for herself.
I just dug up a teenage lesbian in a bathtub in my backyard! The police are questioning me and I’m worried about an elite Korean hacker.

2017 Aug 25 at 09:04 PDT
Armfuls of free treasure
np

Don’t shake the royal baby so hard, it’ll start armfuls of free treasure.
I scream, you scream, a day at the beach, armfuls of free treasure!
I can’t believe you guys went painting rude words on the cat without me! Loop me in next time, I want armfuls of free treasure too!
In protest, Gandhi swore to abstain from armfuls of free treasure.
Armfuls of free treasure? That’s my fetish!
“Mommy, where do babies come from?” “Well, when there’s good bacteria in love with armfuls of free treasure very much they do a... special hug.”