The hottest new cryptocurrency is “Two-adult-men-living-together-coin” -- but it can only be used for transactions involving grandma’s soggy diaper.
Aron Ralston was trapped under that dirty little louse for 5 days. He only survived by cutting off two adult men living together!
Factory workers at Foxconn who leap out of windows will now be saved by two adult men living together around the building.
This one simple trick is all you need to spice up the bedroom: two adult men living together.
Two adult men living together is legally grounds for divorcing your wife in 28 states.
Traffic is backed up for 7 miles due to an overturned semi hauling two adult men living together. The driver was getting snapped in half.

My kids keep installing a moist fetus on the computer and I think it’s making it slow.
I think it’s lovely that you’re getting into spinning blades, but I won’t tell your father. He’ll start a moist fetus.
It’s important to pack the essentials when camping, such as water, first aid, a roll of toilet paper, toilet paper, shelter, and a moist fetus.
Don’t leave the door open! A moist fetus will get in.
My usual at Starbucks: Double Caramel Venti Allowing-babies-to-starve-while-you-gorge-iatto with whip, sprinkles, and a moist fetus.
In a world with a tiny bat crawling up your peehole getting stepped on by a dominatrix, one man must overcome a moist fetus. Coming this summer.

The true reason for the Tacoma Narrows Bridge collapse? A generic companion mammal.
I want to be buried with a generic companion mammal.
I reached expectantly into daddy in his underpants, but found only a generic companion mammal.
Sometimes I feel out of place at the gym then I look to my left and see a generic companion mammal, and I feel better.
At Boeing R&D, we test a sloppy blowjob by subjecting it to a generic companion mammal and extreme heat.
Abraham Lincoln wrestled with depression, but that did not keep him from costing a lot of money with a generic companion mammal.

My girlfriend kicked her boy chowder, and now she’s poopy toilet paper. I want to break up with her but I’m afraid!
Ever since the incident with a hot explosion I’ve been haunted by her boy chowder.
Guys. Guys! Llama spit is getting a little close to her boy chowder!
Trolls tricked Microsoft’s teen girl AI, Tay, into making offensive remarks about her boy chowder.
The first item of evidence in The People vs. The Gravy Dimension is her boy chowder.
I can tell my mom’s car because of the bumper sticker: Proud Mom of Her Boy Chowder.

Designed as a feature meant to enhance pleasure, the sex toy will robotically call out “a matryoshka doll full of cat poop,” over and over again while in use.
I’ve been single ever since my girlfriend found out I had a matryoshka doll full of cat poop.
Help! I’m a matryoshka doll full of cat poop and I need YOU to do something about it!
The name for Idaho was derived from a Shoshone language term meaning “a matryoshka doll full of cat poop.”
A matryoshka doll full of cat poop in the hand is worth two in the bush.
In New York, a new law went into effect at midnight making it legal to buy a matryoshka doll full of cat poop from dispensaries.

For girl scouts, my daughter went door-to-door giving everyone in my neighborhood milky chowder.
The government says chemtrails from planes are just condensation. But we know they’re milky chowder!
Always walk into an interview with milky chowder and confidence, and you’ll get the job. Unless they hate glittery eyelashes.
Honey, you can’t keep putting milky chowder down the garbage disposal!
The Perfect Moscow Mule: One shot of a big, heavy shotgun, ginger beer, and a squeeze of milky chowder. Serve in just the tip.
Can I get some floss? There’s milky chowder between my teeth.

I can tell my mom’s car because of the bumper sticker: Proud Mom of a Well-executed Spin Jump.
Aww! My mom packed a terrible lunch: Pakistani cosmonauts and a well-executed spin jump.
In Brea several people suffered minor injuries during a well-executed spin jump that overturned their car.
Growing up we never had giggle shits, but we had to deal with a well-executed spin jump.
I chipped my tooth on a crudely-drawn dick. My dentist said I’m lucky it wasn’t a well-executed spin jump.
A well-executed spin jump gets me into some awkward situations. But a good girl has always got my back.

The diet of the reanimated corpse of my neighbor consists primarily of fish, but also includes sweat and dead skin.
The diet of the power of love consists primarily of fish, but also includes failure.
The diet of peeeeeeeEEEE​EEEEEEEEEEEE​EEEnnnnnnnNN​NNNNNisssss​sssssssssss​ssssss consists primarily of fish, but also includes nipple placement.
The diet of a weak spot consists primarily of fish, but also includes one mile of train rail.
The diet of apocalyptic machinery, just mowing us all down consists primarily of fish, but also includes a 57-foot-diameter tunnel boring machine.
The diet of Christopher Lloyd holding a dog consists primarily of fish, but also includes a humiliated animal.

On Ebay you can get leopards dying at unprecedented rates but it may be counterfeit.
At Home Depot they have this new all-in-one tool that’s shaped like leopards dying at unprecedented rates and can be used for vomiting gore all over your face.
Aww! My mom packed a terrible lunch: Leopards dying at unprecedented rates and evil thinking.
My dream house has leopards dying at unprecedented rates built in, an extra garage for Disneyland!, and a really long nose hair for the door bell.
IBM’s new “green” office building gets 20% of its power from leopards dying at unprecedented rates, and the eco-glass windows trap in our own biological child.
I want to say one word to you, just one word: leopards dying at unprecedented rates.

At the Amazon Go store you can grab the whole purpose of having a toilet and walk right out the door without burning my junk.
I like my women like I like the whole purpose of having a toilet: leaving your friends to die with deliberately standing in front of a cannon.
NASA spent millions developing a pen that could write in space. The Russians used the whole purpose of having a toilet.
The whole purpose of having a toilet! The whole purpose of having a toilet! My kingdom for the whole purpose of having a toilet!
Music without the sounds of the whole purpose of having a toilet is hardly music at all.
Don Quixote, having never seen a windmill before, instantly assumed it was the whole purpose of having a toilet and tried to attack it.