aaronjer

aaronjer

User name
aaronjer
Assigned title
*****'n Admin
Assigned post color
#838405
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Comrade General 5-Star Comrade General 5-Star
Registration date
2005 March 21
Post count
4628
Score
1,227 ₧
Location
Upstairs by the sink.
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Timezone
America/Los_Angeles
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Recent posts by aaronjer

Recent posts by aaronjer

Aug 23 at 07:59 PDT
Comanche clothing was simple. Men wore  {n} with  {n} to fasten it.
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Comanche clothing was simple. Men wore a Japanese woman’s underwear with you and me to fasten it.
Comanche clothing was simple. Men wore my salvation with a fridge full of heads to fasten it.
Comanche clothing was simple. Men wore another way to kill me with delicate ladybrains to fasten it.
Comanche clothing was simple. Men wore ribs with the escape route to fasten it.
Comanche clothing was simple. Men wore steers and queers with half the people around here to fasten it.
Comanche clothing was simple. Men wore a gold ingot with a promise to fasten it.

Aug 23 at 07:53 PDT
Scholars have failed to agree on a definition of  , but there are two definition systems:   and  .
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Scholars have failed to agree on a definition of John Wilkes Booth, but there are two definition systems: whatEVER and drinking toilet water.
Scholars have failed to agree on a definition of space Nazis, but there are two definition systems: llama spit and circumcising your dad.
Scholars have failed to agree on a definition of complex maths, but there are two definition systems: rhythmic pounding and popping out of the ground.
Scholars have failed to agree on a definition of Satan’s mother, but there are two definition systems: a humiliated animal and hot sparks.
Scholars have failed to agree on a definition of another way in, but there are two definition systems: leaking out my bum and the thing hanging out of my butt.
Scholars have failed to agree on a definition of leopard print top hats, but there are two definition systems: industrial solvent and a piece of lint near my vagina.

Aug 23 at 07:49 PDT
The man upstairs
n

I like the man upstairs like I like my coffee: spreading disease, put in a sack, and dragged across bedding.
For Farm Day at my school we had a haystack to search through and find a plug for the other hole, the man upstairs and a strange candy that makes you gay.
The fire raged out of control because the firemen’s hoses got caught around the man upstairs.
Ha! You activated my trap card, “The Man Upstairs!” You’re cursed with backing up on it until the end of the game!
Authorities were tallying damage from the man upstairs that struck southern California Friday evening.
A new study found that giving employees compliments and the man upstairs can help motivate them, even more than a cash bonus.

Aug 23 at 04:50 PDT
What's left of it
nc

You stole water from a child? You’re what's left of it and you’re going to hell!
A billboard on my way home had a picture of what's left of it and the words “a cornhole”. I don’t get it!
Come on down to Golden Corral™ for what's left of it.
Can I get some floss? There’s what's left of it between my teeth.
I’m getting the next time installed in my car, so I can be what's left of it while I drive.
Senator, give me what's left of it and you’ll get my vote.

Aug 23 at 04:49 PDT
The pudding I have available
nc

Aron Ralston was trapped under the pudding I have available for 5 days. He only survived by cutting off a police officer on Facebook!
Sometimes I feel out of place at the gym then I look to my left and see the pudding I have available, and I feel better.
Some anarchist made the sign over the expressway say “THE STATE IS THE PUDDING I HAVE AVAILABLE SNUGGLING WITH IAN MCKELLEN.”
10% of all proceeds from sales of cosmetic surgery for my cat will go to The The Pudding I Have Available Foundation.
After a truck ran over literally every single thing there was so much damage you couldn’t tell it apart from the pudding I have available.
The truly rich have mansions with an imitation poop spiral room, the deceased room, and servants to handle the pudding I have available.

Aug 14 at 02:47 PDT
A normal skeleton
n

Today you’re on the receiving end of a normal skeleton.
How embarrassing! I forget I left a normal skeleton in the foyer.
It’s huge. It’s wet. It’s sprawled out in the parking lot. It’s a normal skeleton.
What will we do with a normal skeleton early in the morning?
The cruiseliner struck some emo kid and lost power, leaving hundreds of vacationers to deal with a normal skeleton.
Alexander also named a city in India “A Normal Skeleton” after his dead horse.

Aug 11 at 01:07 PDT
Half the guys I know
nc

Last Christmas, I gave you half the guys I know. The very next day, you gave it away.
In my wild days I was being unfit to even live, among other crimes. They finally caught me doing it with half the guys I know on the New Mexico border.
12th street is closed due to a man in a tree throwing half the guys I know at cars and passers-by.
I will do anything for half the guys I know. But I won’t do that!
My pharmacist separated half the guys I know into two parts, and carefully lowered one into a protective layer of rubber.
The new self-help fad: Better Living Through Half the Guys I Know!

Aug 10 at 17:30 PDT
During shore leave, the sailors were caught  {v} with underage  {pcv}.
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During shore leave, the sailors were caught floating away in a fucking balloon with underage going as deep as possible.
During shore leave, the sailors were caught going down the garbage disposal with underage terminal illness.
During shore leave, the sailors were caught handling my mother with underage exploding from both ends.
During shore leave, the sailors were caught succumbing to nature with underage maggots.
During shore leave, the sailors were caught fishin’ for pussytuna with underage untwisting.
During shore leave, the sailors were caught wearing John Travolta’s face with underage filling my mouth.

Aug 10 at 17:26 PDT
5 young studs down below
np

At the urgent care clinic they distracted me with 5 young studs down below. I barely even felt hot grills.
Opinions are like 5 young studs down below. Everybody’s got one and they all stink.
I want to say one word to you, just one word: 5 young studs down below.
Every morning I hop out of bed and get straight to 5 young studs down below, even before I put on my clothes.
I had a really good childhood up until I was nine, then 5 young studs down below really affected me.
I went to cut the cake, and to my delight, 5 young studs down below popped out!

Being allowed to wear undies again
v

R Kelly fantasizes about being allowed to wear undies again with a young Beyonce.
Don’t shake a dense woolly undercoat over the chest so hard, it’ll start being allowed to wear undies again.
You evaded my “Being Allowed to Wear Undies Again” attack! Most impressive.
Dwayne Johnson has a secret tattoo that reads, “being allowed to wear undies again,” with a picture of two firetrucks.
People are freaking out because the new Happy Meal PEZ® dispenser is being allowed to wear undies again.
We couldn’t land because of her cooter caught in the landing gear. We had to crash land on the runway like being allowed to wear undies again.