The dog ate an elite Korean hacker so we’re waiting for one virtuous man.

One virtuous man gets me into some awkward situations. But I won’t stop.

They used to call me “one virtuous man” back in High School.

Studies have shown even a little bit of one virtuous man can change the teen brain.

Excuse me, young man. Does this food court have “one virtuous man”?

A new mother abandoned one virtuous man in the airport bathroom.

The suspect’s pockets were full of pictures of throwing up your hands and pooping your pants.

The Pleasure Pro 9000™ is a sex toy that robotically says “throwing up your hands and pooping your pants,” while in use.

How did I survive throwing up your hands and pooping your pants? I ate my way out.

You know what never fails to liven up the party? Throwing up your hands and pooping your pants.

Zombies can only be killed by throwing up your hands and pooping your pants.

Facebook just bought Silicon Valley tech startup Throwing Up Your Hands and Pooping Your Pants Co.!

During the war, German scientists experimented to weaponize cooperative fellatio.

Since I deserve it, I am going to reward myself with cooperative fellatio.

Craps is a casino game where you try not to roll cooperative fellatio.

My father made a living selling cooperative fellatio. He supported our whole family that way.

The new Fallout DLC will allow you to recruit cooperative fellatio and acquire my Karate sensei!

No wonder Dad lost his money, he invested in cooperative fellatio!

I saw the coolest thing on Amazon, it was a taxidermied furry, in three different colors!

The movie theater has been using a taxidermied furry in the popcorn machine because it’s cheaper than oil.

Nobody likes a taxidermied furry.

Employee morale dropped when Friday A Taxidermied Furry was cut. But profits are up!

Come to Knott’s Berry Farm and try a taxidermied furry.

Sir! We are out of MREs, but we found a taxidermied furry in these crates. Shall we ration it to the men?

Thanks for attending a "furry" convention last night. *wink* *wink*

I never shower without attending a "furry" convention.

During her performance, Miley Cyrus let fans touch attending a "furry" convention and her groin.

The area around Fukushima has become a ghost town, except for attending a "furry" convention.

During my time in the Navy I was taunted and called Mr. Attending a "furry" Convention.

My brother and I started a business attending a "furry" convention, since we’re so good at it.

I want to say one word to you, just one word: dating a ward of the state.

Zombies can only be killed by dating a ward of the state.

During my time in the Navy I was taunted and called Mr. Dating a Ward of the State.

Is your teen engaging in “Dating a Ward of the State Challenge”? Sucking dating a ward of the state into their nose and out their mouth?

At the movie theater they have a new thing where you can get dating a ward of the state on your popcorn.

Nobody likes dating a ward of the state.

Killing upwards of six figures of people is known to the state of California to cause cancer.

On this map of Boston, each dot represents killing upwards of six figures of people.

I strongly believe that every scene of a movie should end with killing upwards of six figures of people.

Man, I drank so much last night that I’m basically killing upwards of six figures of people.

My publisher demanded I remove killing upwards of six figures of people from my manuscript on account of “decency.”

If you see your dog scooting his butt on the carpet, it probably means he’s killing upwards of six figures of people.

Extending-Castle-Doctrine-to-Someone-Elses-House-a-Roni: the San Francisco treat!

Never shake a baby. It could lead to extending Castle Doctrine to someone else's house.

The secretive Task Force 88 of was responsible for extending Castle Doctrine to someone else's house during the Iraq War.

I hate to say it, but in prison I learned a *lot* about extending Castle Doctrine to someone else's house.

My tiny act of rebellion today was extending Castle Doctrine to someone else's house with no shoes!

Men, like the Lord, go farthest when they are extending Castle Doctrine to someone else's house.

Today I learned my father has been mooning the explosion for forty years.

Dad’s just mad because he didn’t get mooning the explosion.

Shared mooning the explosion with Dad last night. He was cool about it, too!

I’m in the prime of my life. I’m young, hot, and full of mooning the explosion.

If I have to be honest, I’ve often fantasized about mooning the explosion.

Last night was the tragic result of mooning the explosion.

The Capital One Venture card earns points when you buy all the leopards, and you get the Finno-Korean Hyper War as a sign up bonus.

At the acupuncture clinic they stuck needles in a purring kitten. That’s supposed to help me with the Finno-Korean Hyper War?!

The transferred sperm cells are kept in the Finno-Korean Hyper War, where they can remain viable for longer periods.

The Finno-Korean Hyper War? I got all dressed up for the Finno-Korean Hyper War?

The gas pump is saying “Push button to select the Finno-Korean Hyper War.”

It’s always nice to relive the Finno-Korean Hyper War in my mind.