Nezumi

Nezumi

User name
Nezumi
Assigned title
Asshole Admin
Assigned post color
#838304
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1-Up Medal 1-Up Medal
Registration date
2005 March 26
Post count
620
Score
175 ₧
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UTC
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Recent posts by Nezumi

Recent posts by Nezumi

Nov 24 at 20:56 PST
Thick pads of knee skin
np

Opinions are like thick pads of knee skin. Everybody’s got one and they all stink.
Pool rules: No running. No accepting any crap without opposing thoughts. Keep thick pads of knee skin out of the deep end.
In the end, the obvious plot twist was that the serial killer was actually thick pads of knee skin.
I refuse to roleplay as anything but thick pads of knee skin.
Thick pads of knee skin in the hand is worth two in the bush.
Deep Earth miners in Venezuela struck an enormous ore vein of thick pads of knee skin. Half the country is shotgunning.

Nov 19 at 22:08 PST
One of my sexual partners
n

Chris Angel hurled the deck of cards at gurgling tar pits and my card appeared in one of my sexual partners!
In Kentucky stores can’t sell one of my sexual partners after 8pm, or on holidays like Passive-aggressive Tendencies Day.
Rocky tubes inside the volcano, sometimes called claws, are the passages for one of my sexual partners to flow.
Wine tasters describe this Pinot Grigio as having silky hints of a bunch of kids and a mouthfeel like one of my sexual partners.
As an homage to humanity, NASA has broadcasted one of my sexual partners to the vastness of space.
If you do it right, one of my sexual partners is all about doing things to the body.

Redness, swelling, and blisters
np

All the best love stories include redness, swelling, and blisters.
Meet me by the modern art installation downtown. You know, it’s sliced vegetables straddled by redness, swelling, and blisters.
My brother and I have finally decided to start a business doing redness, swelling, and blisters, since we’re so good at it.
Today the Senate is voting on redness, swelling, and blisters.
Ever since the incident with three carrots I’ve been haunted by redness, swelling, and blisters.
This year’s hottest album is “Redness, Swelling, and Blisters” by The Gravy Dimension.

Back alley butt surgery
nc

Back alley butt surgery in the hand is worth two in the bush.
When I was bodybuilding I tried to dead-lift back alley butt surgery over my head, but insurance got in the way.
Back Alley Butt Surgery is an elite black ops unit of the United States Army that was established by mopping it up with your underpants.
At the urgent care clinic they distracted me with back alley butt surgery. I barely even felt Angelina Jolie’s lips.
The weirdest thing about back alley butt surgery is that sometimes even girls have back alley butt surgery.
For my last meal I want tight clothes seasoned lightly with back alley butt surgery.



A back alley butt surgeon
n

When he reached the New World, Cortés burned a back alley butt surgeon. As a result, his men were well motivated.
I booby-trapped my yard so that trespassers will be surprised by a back alley butt surgeon.
Apparently, “a Back Alley Butt Surgeon” is a dance move in the Hip-Hop and B-Boy community.
Chris Angel hurled the deck of cards at a back alley butt surgeon and my card appeared in an extremely painful sneeze!
It’s huge. It’s wet. It’s sprawled out in the parking lot. It’s a back alley butt surgeon.
USGS seismologist Lucy Jones said the 5.1 quake has a 5% chance of being a back alley butt surgeon.

Oct 15 at 23:22 PDT
I went back in time and destroyed  {n} before banging my own grandma. Whoops!

I went back in time and destroyed giggling schoolgirls with cameras before banging my own grandma. Whoops!
I went back in time and destroyed the power of love before banging my own grandma. Whoops!
I went back in time and destroyed the big ol’ boys before banging my own grandma. Whoops!
I went back in time and destroyed loose teeth before banging my own grandma. Whoops!
I went back in time and destroyed something even wetter before banging my own grandma. Whoops!
I went back in time and destroyed a tiny bat crawling up your peehole before banging my own grandma. Whoops!

The last time my buddies and I were this drunk, the three of us and a sheep wound up  {v}.

The last time my buddies and I were this drunk, the three of us and a sheep wound up touching your vaggie while sleeping.
The last time my buddies and I were this drunk, the three of us and a sheep wound up breaking in.
The last time my buddies and I were this drunk, the three of us and a sheep wound up getting off.
The last time my buddies and I were this drunk, the three of us and a sheep wound up assassinating Kim Jong-un.
The last time my buddies and I were this drunk, the three of us and a sheep wound up writhing on the floor and screaming my name.
The last time my buddies and I were this drunk, the three of us and a sheep wound up trying to get away with murder.

Spitroasting a lion
v

This food is so good it’s making spitroasting a lion quiver!
A good description of sex, suitable for children: Christopher Lloyd holding a dog; my musk; spitroasting a lion.
If you do it right, spitroasting a lion is all about bloodlust.
The biggest float in the Macy’s Parade this year is spitroasting a lion.
Someone get Michael! His girlfriend is drunk, up on the table, and she’s spitroasting a lion.
I think it’s lovely that you’re getting into the Mormon church, but I won’t tell your father. He’ll start spitroasting a lion.

Chefs are going crazy over this new device that lets you peel and core  {p} at the same time without getting your hands dirty.

Chefs are going crazy over this new device that lets you peel and core claws at the same time without getting your hands dirty.
Chefs are going crazy over this new device that lets you peel and core earwig pincers at the same time without getting your hands dirty.
Chefs are going crazy over this new device that lets you peel and core divorce papers at the same time without getting your hands dirty.
Chefs are going crazy over this new device that lets you peel and core insane shoes at the same time without getting your hands dirty.
Chefs are going crazy over this new device that lets you peel and core amputated eyelids at the same time without getting your hands dirty.
Chefs are going crazy over this new device that lets you peel and core all the leopards at the same time without getting your hands dirty.

Sep 27 at 23:04 PDT
Getting knocked up by my gay cousin
v

Sometimes, when I’m feeling naughty, I start chewing on cars like a giant titanium allosaurus before getting knocked up by my gay cousin.
The government says chemtrails from planes are just condensation. But we know they’re getting knocked up by my gay cousin!
After the war, the British government had Alan Turing chemically castrated because he was getting knocked up by my gay cousin.
The problem with America is getting knocked up by my gay cousin.
A couple in Memphis was arrested after allegedly getting knocked up by my gay cousin right in front of their children.
At his last campaign rally, Bernie Sanders began getting knocked up by my gay cousin in front of his top supporters.

Sep 15 at 01:01 PDT
My gross uncle who died when he was 17
n

The hottest new cryptocurrency is “My-gross-uncle-who-died-when-he-was-17-coin” -- but it can only be used for transactions involving an exploding car.
Art can be defined by my gross uncle who died when he was 17 but only if it gets you baby Jesus and inspired.
More than 260 people were injured by festive firecracker blasts and my gross uncle who died when he was 17 in the Philippines.
Today at school the teacher asked us “what we want to be when we grow up?” I responded: my gross uncle who died when he was 17!!!
Chris Angel hurled the deck of cards at a small chubby and my card appeared in my gross uncle who died when he was 17!
The Luba of Central Africa are the only known culture with a specific word for my gross uncle who died when he was 17.