Nezumi

Nezumi

User name
Nezumi
Assigned title
Asshole Admin
Assigned post color
#838304
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Medals
1-Up Medal 1-Up Medal
Registration date
2005 March 26
Post count
639
Score
175 ₧
Location
 
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Timezone
UTC
Groups
Administrators

Recent posts by Nezumi

Recent posts by Nezumi

Tuesday at 13:15 PDT
An experimental humanoid
n

Can you come get me? I agreed to go with some guys who promised me an experimental humanoid and it’s getting weird.
Making the best cookies requires my evil little body and an experimental humanoid.
My father abandoned my mother and I because he was an experimental humanoid.
I noticed symptoms of crashing out of a window, so I went to my naturopathic doctor. He said, “it’s an experimental humanoid!” but I’m not sure.
Any man who can drive safely while kissing an experimental humanoid is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves.
Last Christmas, everyone got zoo smell under the tree and an experimental humanoid in their stockings!

Please step into the interrogation cubicle. You'll notice that I have   on the counter. I think you know why.

Please step into the interrogation cubicle. You'll notice that I have empty space on the counter. I think you know why.
Please step into the interrogation cubicle. You'll notice that I have a dick out on the counter. I think you know why.
Please step into the interrogation cubicle. You'll notice that I have your husband on the counter. I think you know why.
Please step into the interrogation cubicle. You'll notice that I have the moron I hired to kill you on the counter. I think you know why.
Please step into the interrogation cubicle. You'll notice that I have not another leopard on the counter. I think you know why.
Please step into the interrogation cubicle. You'll notice that I have existential ennui on the counter. I think you know why.

A deep resonating thump sound
n

In prison we used to cook a deep resonating thump sound in the toilet.
It has been prophesied that the young king will eventually be killed by a deep resonating thump sound.
It’s huge. It’s wet. It’s sprawled out in the parking lot. It’s a deep resonating thump sound.
During my driving test, I backed my car into a deep resonating thump sound. I still got an 85!
The best comfort food will always be greens, a deep resonating thump sound, and fried chicken.
Always walk into an interview with a deep resonating thump sound and confidence, and you’ll get the job. Unless they hate a succulent jumbo prawn.

A sturdy set of pelvis clamps
n

My kids keep installing a sturdy set of pelvis clamps on the computer and I think it’s making it slow.
Come on down to Golden Corral™ for a sturdy set of pelvis clamps.
Baskin Robbins is going off the deep end with their new flavors, I saw compost flavor and then a sturdy set of pelvis clamps flavor.
If you do it right, carefully removing my skeleton is all about a sturdy set of pelvis clamps.
My usual at Starbucks: Double Caramel Venti A-sturdy-set-of-pelvis-clamps-iatto with whip, sprinkles, and a carefully contained fart.
The area around Fukushima has become a ghost town with a sturdy set of pelvis clamps slowly overtaking the buildings.

Fun and games
np

Work on the Taft bridge ground to a halt, due to the union’s demands for fun and games.
There’s always time for fun and games before breakfast.
In New York, a new law went into effect at midnight making it legal to buy fun and games from dispensaries.
Can you come get me? I agreed to go with some guys who promised me fun and games and it’s getting weird.
Meet me by the modern art installation downtown. You know, it’s fun and games straddled by ionizing radiation.
What were you doing in here? I keep finding fun and games between the couch cushions.

Aug 16 at 22:15 PDT
Santa's dungeon
nc

Come on down to Golden Corral™ for Santa's dungeon.
No wonder Dad lost his money, he invested in Santa's dungeon!
Making the best cookies requires laser sounds and Santa's dungeon.
I dug around for hours in the trash but never found Santa's dungeon.
I think that ecstasy was cut with Santa's dungeon. After one hit I began very, very rapidly blocking the exit.
We’re having it to come out the other end situation. Watch out for Santa's dungeon and please stand by...

Aug 10 at 22:00 PDT
My "roommate"
nc

In this 15th century painting, a squealing 4-year-old is represented by a man with my "roommate" for a head.
What’s in the fridge? Soda, OJ, my "roommate"... Sweet! Sunny-D!
President Putin’s approval rating shot to nearly 100% when the Russian government began my "roommate".
Sometimes, when hiking through the woods, you might cross paths with my "roommate". So bring you and me.
At the acupuncture clinic they stuck needles in ribs. That’s supposed to help me with my "roommate"?!
My "roommate" from the Ohio county fair to be destroyed due to infection.

Aug 10 at 21:58 PDT
A local pervert
n

Any man who can drive safely while kissing a local pervert is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves.
Dear diary, today I went into the city and saw a local pervert for the first time!
You can’t keep running around like a little spurt, you’re endangering a local pervert!
I beat a local pervert all the time!
In public restrooms I always put a local pervert on the toilet before sitting down.
Dagnabbit! I got a local pervert all jammed up in the wheel well again.

A passionate kiss in the torpedo bay
n

I got into my car and sat on a passionate kiss in the torpedo bay. Slowly, a smile crept over my face.
Strangely, right before Hitler killed himself, he had females with four teats destroyed and a passionate kiss in the torpedo bay killed as well.
While I was out the Roomba got into a passionate kiss in the torpedo bay and was wearing John Travolta’s face.
If you’re interested in my services, email me at: cuddling@a-passionate-kiss-in-the-torpedo-bay.biz
Military scientists in Syria found traces of a passionate kiss in the torpedo bay in the soil.
Your attempt to get little Susie what’s-her-name drunk on lime vodka ended with a passionate kiss in the torpedo bay.

Jul 10 at 22:40 PDT
The ancient Sumerian god called Ereshkigal
n

Tomorrow the city is throwing a ticker-tape to celebrate the ancient Sumerian god called Ereshkigal.
The ancient Sumerian god called Ereshkigal is the only way to say goodbye.
You evaded my “The Ancient Sumerian God Called Ereshkigal” attack! Most impressive.
This land is organic porpoise semen land, this land is the ancient Sumerian god called Ereshkigal land.
Do you remember when we were kids, and the police shut the school, and we were the ancient Sumerian god called Ereshkigal?
Kinect automatically recognizes when you’re the ancient Sumerian god called Ereshkigal and turns itself on to broadcast it to your friends.



Ereshkigal, the ancient Sumerian goddess of the underworld
n

Sir, you have a phone call. Something about Ereshkigal, the ancient Sumerian goddess of the underworld?
I surreptitiously crawled into bed, only to find Ereshkigal, the ancient Sumerian goddess of the underworld.
When I told my father he shouted, “No daughter of mine is going out with Ereshkigal, the ancient Sumerian goddess of the underworld!”
I’ll never know why my grandparents find Ereshkigal, the ancient Sumerian goddess of the underworld so relaxing.
Don’t leave the door open! Ereshkigal, the ancient Sumerian goddess of the underworld will get in.
Ereshkigal, the ancient Sumerian goddess of the underworld is legally grounds for divorcing your wife in 28 states.