Nezumi

Nezumi

User name
Nezumi
Assigned title
Asshole Admin
Assigned post color
#838304
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Medals
1-Up Medal 1-Up Medal
Registration date
2005 March 26
Post count
622
Score
175 ₧
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Timezone
UTC
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Recent posts by Nezumi

Recent posts by Nezumi

A soulless vessel
n

I can’t believe you forced my mom into a soulless vessel! She’s 62!
Crews are working hard after Bertha, the tunnel-boring machine ran into a soulless vessel and stopped.
I thought I just had gas, but it came out as a soulless vessel.
Let scary men host your next party, providing a soulless vessel like you’ve never experienced before.
Original style is fine, but chunky kinda tastes like a soulless vessel.
The new Fallout DLC will allow you to recruit edible disguises and acquire a soulless vessel!

Dec 11 at 01:04 PST
Presenting like a mandril
v

President Putin’s approval rating shot to nearly 100% when the Russian government began presenting like a mandril.
Your lifestyle travelled over 20 feet after presenting like a mandril.
My teacher graded my paper F because I wrote about presenting like a mandril.
That’s not funny. My dad was killed by presenting like a mandril.
If Benjamin Franklin didn’t invent presenting like a mandril, certainly others would have.
My life coach told me that to maximise my positive energy flow, I should alternate between presenting like a mandril and threatening my wife and child.

Nov 24 at 20:56 PST
Thick pads of knee skin
np

Opinions are like thick pads of knee skin. Everybody’s got one and they all stink.
Pool rules: No running. No accepting any crap without opposing thoughts. Keep thick pads of knee skin out of the deep end.
In the end, the obvious plot twist was that the serial killer was actually thick pads of knee skin.
I refuse to roleplay as anything but thick pads of knee skin.
Thick pads of knee skin in the hand is worth two in the bush.
Deep Earth miners in Venezuela struck an enormous ore vein of thick pads of knee skin. Half the country is shotgunning.

Nov 19 at 22:08 PST
One of my sexual partners
n

Chris Angel hurled the deck of cards at gurgling tar pits and my card appeared in one of my sexual partners!
In Kentucky stores can’t sell one of my sexual partners after 8pm, or on holidays like Passive-aggressive Tendencies Day.
Rocky tubes inside the volcano, sometimes called claws, are the passages for one of my sexual partners to flow.
Wine tasters describe this Pinot Grigio as having silky hints of a bunch of kids and a mouthfeel like one of my sexual partners.
As an homage to humanity, NASA has broadcasted one of my sexual partners to the vastness of space.
If you do it right, one of my sexual partners is all about doing things to the body.

Redness, swelling, and blisters
np

All the best love stories include redness, swelling, and blisters.
Meet me by the modern art installation downtown. You know, it’s sliced vegetables straddled by redness, swelling, and blisters.
My brother and I have finally decided to start a business doing redness, swelling, and blisters, since we’re so good at it.
Today the Senate is voting on redness, swelling, and blisters.
Ever since the incident with three carrots I’ve been haunted by redness, swelling, and blisters.
This year’s hottest album is “Redness, Swelling, and Blisters” by The Gravy Dimension.

Back alley butt surgery
nc

Back alley butt surgery in the hand is worth two in the bush.
When I was bodybuilding I tried to dead-lift back alley butt surgery over my head, but insurance got in the way.
Back Alley Butt Surgery is an elite black ops unit of the United States Army that was established by mopping it up with your underpants.
At the urgent care clinic they distracted me with back alley butt surgery. I barely even felt Angelina Jolie’s lips.
The weirdest thing about back alley butt surgery is that sometimes even girls have back alley butt surgery.
For my last meal I want tight clothes seasoned lightly with back alley butt surgery.



A back alley butt surgeon
n

When he reached the New World, Cortés burned a back alley butt surgeon. As a result, his men were well motivated.
I booby-trapped my yard so that trespassers will be surprised by a back alley butt surgeon.
Apparently, “a Back Alley Butt Surgeon” is a dance move in the Hip-Hop and B-Boy community.
Chris Angel hurled the deck of cards at a back alley butt surgeon and my card appeared in an extremely painful sneeze!
It’s huge. It’s wet. It’s sprawled out in the parking lot. It’s a back alley butt surgeon.
USGS seismologist Lucy Jones said the 5.1 quake has a 5% chance of being a back alley butt surgeon.

Oct 15 at 23:22 PDT
I went back in time and destroyed  {n} before banging my own grandma. Whoops!

I went back in time and destroyed giggling schoolgirls with cameras before banging my own grandma. Whoops!
I went back in time and destroyed the power of love before banging my own grandma. Whoops!
I went back in time and destroyed the big ol’ boys before banging my own grandma. Whoops!
I went back in time and destroyed loose teeth before banging my own grandma. Whoops!
I went back in time and destroyed something even wetter before banging my own grandma. Whoops!
I went back in time and destroyed a tiny bat crawling up your peehole before banging my own grandma. Whoops!

The last time my buddies and I were this drunk, the three of us and a sheep wound up  {v}.

The last time my buddies and I were this drunk, the three of us and a sheep wound up touching your vaggie while sleeping.
The last time my buddies and I were this drunk, the three of us and a sheep wound up breaking in.
The last time my buddies and I were this drunk, the three of us and a sheep wound up getting off.
The last time my buddies and I were this drunk, the three of us and a sheep wound up assassinating Kim Jong-un.
The last time my buddies and I were this drunk, the three of us and a sheep wound up writhing on the floor and screaming my name.
The last time my buddies and I were this drunk, the three of us and a sheep wound up trying to get away with murder.

Spitroasting a lion
v

This food is so good it’s making spitroasting a lion quiver!
A good description of sex, suitable for children: Christopher Lloyd holding a dog; my musk; spitroasting a lion.
If you do it right, spitroasting a lion is all about bloodlust.
The biggest float in the Macy’s Parade this year is spitroasting a lion.
Someone get Michael! His girlfriend is drunk, up on the table, and she’s spitroasting a lion.
I think it’s lovely that you’re getting into the Mormon church, but I won’t tell your father. He’ll start spitroasting a lion.

Chefs are going crazy over this new device that lets you peel and core  {p} at the same time without getting your hands dirty.

Chefs are going crazy over this new device that lets you peel and core claws at the same time without getting your hands dirty.
Chefs are going crazy over this new device that lets you peel and core earwig pincers at the same time without getting your hands dirty.
Chefs are going crazy over this new device that lets you peel and core divorce papers at the same time without getting your hands dirty.
Chefs are going crazy over this new device that lets you peel and core insane shoes at the same time without getting your hands dirty.
Chefs are going crazy over this new device that lets you peel and core amputated eyelids at the same time without getting your hands dirty.
Chefs are going crazy over this new device that lets you peel and core all the leopards at the same time without getting your hands dirty.