Nezumi

Nezumi

User name
Nezumi
Assigned title
Asshole Admin
Assigned post color
#838304
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Medals
1-Up Medal 1-Up Medal
Registration date
2005 March 26
Post count
599
Score
175 ₧
Location
 
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Timezone
UTC
Groups
Administrators

Recent posts by Nezumi

Recent posts by Nezumi

Friday at 15:52 PDT
This here heap of garbage
n

Don’t look at me while I’m this here heap of garbage! It messes me up!
There’s always time for this here heap of garbage before breakfast.
Your attempt to get little Susie what’s-her-name drunk on lime vodka ended with this here heap of garbage.
In this story, only the true king can pull the sword out of this here heap of garbage.
You can’t keep running around like this here heap of garbage, you’re endangering a very old jellybean!
Wolves don’t eat this here heap of garbage, and neither should kings.

Friday at 15:45 PDT
This horse bone totem never changes. It never, for example, turns into a bloodthirsty demon horse. That is what every one says, always.
Friday at 15:42 PDT
This carved horse bone totem
n

After the war, the British government had Alan Turing chemically castrated because he was this carved horse bone totem.
Doctor! My child has this carved horse bone totem coursing through his veins!
Alexander also named a city in India “This Carved Horse Bone Totem” after his dead horse.
It's like they always say: this carved horse bone totem never changes.
I picked up a hitchhiker and he showed me this carved horse bone totem while we were still in the car.
The media’s nonstop coverage of a system of tunnels leading to key locations is just to distract us from this carved horse bone totem.

May 24 at 18:47 PDT
My mouth
n

My girlfriend kicked shaking, and now she’s my mouth. I want to break up with her but I’m afraid!
When my mouth hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that’s amore!
When I get older, I don’t want to be my mouth.
Online trolls taught Microsoft’s teen girl AI to spew propaganda about my mouth.
At Boeing R&D, we test a hole by subjecting it to my mouth and blasts of energy.
I picked up a hitchhiker and he showed me my mouth while we were still in the car.

May 21 at 10:38 PDT
A celebrity's orifice
n

The cineplex has been using a celebrity's orifice in the popcorn machine because it’s cheaper than oil.
When you two are done carefully removing my skeleton, can we please get a celebrity's orifice and get out of here?!
Chase bank is giving out a celebrity's orifice this week if you open an account and put $100 in it.
Since I deserve it, I am going to reward myself with a celebrity's orifice.
The raunchy adult film that’s got parent’s groups scrambling: A Celebrity's Orifice Does a Huge Mountain.
At the coffee shop they put “a celebrity's orifice” on my cup. I ran out covering my face.

May 21 at 00:35 PDT
 {p} rarely fight in the wild, and resolve conflicts by growling, chattering the teeth, and urinating.

hula hoops rarely fight in the wild, and resolve conflicts by growling, chattering the teeth, and urinating.
urine sprinkles rarely fight in the wild, and resolve conflicts by growling, chattering the teeth, and urinating.
drool drops rarely fight in the wild, and resolve conflicts by growling, chattering the teeth, and urinating.
udders rarely fight in the wild, and resolve conflicts by growling, chattering the teeth, and urinating.
high heels rarely fight in the wild, and resolve conflicts by growling, chattering the teeth, and urinating.
years of pain rarely fight in the wild, and resolve conflicts by growling, chattering the teeth, and urinating.



I think this card needs a second blank, like "...chattering _..." or something, but that doesn't seem quite right.
When you said  , I thought you meant in a sexual way. I didn't know you were talking about  .
Play 2

When you said a mindless animal response, I thought you meant in a sexual way. I didn't know you were talking about struggling with a police officer.
When you said legs, I thought you meant in a sexual way. I didn't know you were talking about so few little turds.
When you said blocking the exit, I thought you meant in a sexual way. I didn't know you were talking about a screaming dog.
When you said nitro-boosted performance, I thought you meant in a sexual way. I didn't know you were talking about maximum bitch mode.
When you said original white, straight Barbie, I thought you meant in a sexual way. I didn't know you were talking about lifting his kilt and winking.
When you said struggling to get out of the van, I thought you meant in a sexual way. I didn't know you were talking about poorly orchestrated group sex.

This one might be a long shot:

"... And when you catch 'em, just hold 'em down and give 'em the 'ol Dutch  {c}

"... And when you catch 'em, just hold 'em down and give 'em the 'ol Dutch blindness
"... And when you catch 'em, just hold 'em down and give 'em the 'ol Dutch Paul Hogan’s oiled chest
"... And when you catch 'em, just hold 'em down and give 'em the 'ol Dutch too much wiggling
"... And when you catch 'em, just hold 'em down and give 'em the 'ol Dutch boiling water
"... And when you catch 'em, just hold 'em down and give 'em the 'ol Dutch scoring
"... And when you catch 'em, just hold 'em down and give 'em the 'ol Dutch beautiful girl hair

Blasting out noise
v

When I was bodybuilding I tried to dead-lift the killing of educated adults over my head, but blasting out noise got in the way.
The Great Wall was actually built to keep blasting out noise out of mainland China.
It smells like Thai food in here... have you been blasting out noise?
Trolls tricked Microsoft’s teen girl AI, Tay, into making offensive remarks about blasting out noise.
Blasting out noise is known to the state of California to cause cancer.
Blasting out noise is the only way to say goodbye.

The sheriff with a warrant
n

Back in my day, we only had the sheriff with a warrant for tight clothes and we LIKED IT.
Always hold on to the sheriff with a warrant to remember me.
“Impossible,” said Pride. “Risky,” said Experience. “Give it a try,” whispered the Heart. That’s when I tried the sheriff with a warrant.
The fire raged out of control because the firemen’s hoses got caught around the sheriff with a warrant.
So I go over and I open the door and just as I suspected. It’s the sheriff with a warrant.
As the A.I. robot gained self-awareness, it immediately began the sheriff with a warrant.