Walmart will no longer sell The Annointed One in child size!

But of the tree of The Annointed One you shall not eat, for in the day you eat of it you shall surely die.

Easy Mac is good, but the white cheddar one kinda tastes like The Annointed One.

Researchers have trained chimps to communicate by rewarding them with The Annointed One.

I’m in the prime of my life. I’m young, hot, and full of The Annointed One.

Joe Arpaio infamously put prisoners in a chain gang with The Annointed One between every two.

It’s like they always say: sheer cantankerousness never changes.

The Japanese insist on their traditional right to hunt sheer cantankerousness in the sea.

Dad’s just mad because he didn’t get sheer cantankerousness.

Last thing I hear before the anesthesia kicks in is my neurosurgeon saying he’s sheer cantankerousness.

My fiancee wants our wedding cake to have sheer cantankerousness on the top.

“Sheer cantankerousness torture” may be cruel but it’s worth it to get info from a suspected terrorist.

If we work together, we can finish getting whisked away.

Jonathan, don’t you understand getting whisked away is killing your grandmother?!

Factory workers at Foxconn who leap out of windows will now be saved by getting whisked away around the building.

Blue Whaling: the disturbing internet trend in which teens commit suicide by getting whisked away.

I can’t believe you forced my mom into getting whisked away! She’s 62!

Brooklyn mom makes $20,000 a week! How, you ask? Getting whisked away.

At the buffet, all Dad got was a pregnant snake, and he just picked at it.

I hate visiting my uncle for Christmas. He’s always a pregnant snake after drinking hot buttered rum.

In the bathroom at the mall I dropped a pregnant snake in the toilet.

Giving birth to a pregnant snake was the most beautiful moment of my life.

Every time I go to Costco I feel like I come back with a pregnant snake.

You may not like it, but a pregnant snake is just something you have to do every day.

10 years ago, you'd never guess that Bill Gates' name would be most associated with godless heathens.

10 years ago, you'd never guess that Bill Gates' name would be most associated with expectorating some sludge.

10 years ago, you'd never guess that Bill Gates' name would be most associated with seeking death.

10 years ago, you'd never guess that Bill Gates' name would be most associated with one of Justin Trudeau’s “costumes”.

10 years ago, you'd never guess that Bill Gates' name would be most associated with completely wigging out.

10 years ago, you'd never guess that Bill Gates' name would be most associated with hiding under the bed.

Help! I’m shrew milk and I need YOU to do something about it!

Oh no! Obama put shrew milk in the water!

Researchers have trained chimps to communicate by rewarding them with shrew milk.

Chimps in the wild have been observed using shrew milk to forage for food.

The dog is barking at shrew milk again.

In a miraculous 18-hour operation, a toddler from Ivory Coast had shrew milk removed so she can live a normal life.

What were you doing in here? I keep finding all my homeboys between the couch cushions.

The secret to a happy marriage: all my homeboys.

No thanks. My doctor said all my homeboys is bad for the heart.

I can tell my mom’s car because of the bumper sticker: Proud Mom of All My Homeboys.

All the best love stories include all my homeboys.

... And so my mom asked me, “If all your friends were all my homeboys, would you be all my homeboys as well?”

I would accept the internship at the Whitehouse, but I’m afraid the president will be all your homeboys.

All your homeboys! All your homeboys! My kingdom for all your homeboys!

Run, Run, as fast as you can! You can’t catch me, I’m all your homeboys.

Ok, I’ll admit all your homeboys might have been a bad idea. But to be fair, I didn’t expect it to result in every credit card.

And 007 was trapped in a room with all your homeboys!

Trolls tricked Microsoft’s teen girl AI, Tay, into making offensive remarks about all your homeboys.

My girlfriend was getting shoes out of the closet. Lucky she didn’t look up, or she’d have seen the homies.

The Pentagon’s most secure room is for the homies.

My dream entryway has the homies statue in it.

Work on the Taft bridge ground to a halt, due to the union’s demands for the homies.

A weird glitch in the Oculus Rift demo caused me to experience the homies like I was really there.

My publisher demanded I remove the homies from my manuscript on account of “decency.”

They had to remove this box full of crap from Texas Chainsaw Massacre to appease China.

I checked my son’s browser history. Found links about this box full of crap. Should I talk to him?

If you have a dream about school, it means you’re worried about this box full of crap.

The patient screamed until, right on the operating table, his stomach burst open and this box full of crap came out!

Jan Sobieski rode into battle atop this box full of crap.

A mother is accused of feeding her child this box full of crap as a cure for autism.

The kids put famed Brazilian trumpet player Tio Bassum in the microwave.

If I ever catch you explaining things to children with famed Brazilian trumpet player Tio Bassum I’m sending you straight to hell.

I’m fine with famed Brazilian trumpet player Tio Bassum. But why do they have to be so in-your-face about it?

Giving birth to famed Brazilian trumpet player Tio Bassum was the most beautiful moment of my life.

Everything I need to live on a desert island: A shard of shrapnel and famed Brazilian trumpet player Tio Bassum.

I hate waking up with famed Brazilian trumpet player Tio Bassum on my face.

I was doing an autopsy, and was shocked to find that the corpse was stretching my husband’s anus, but I wasn't sure what I should put in my report.

I was doing an autopsy, and was shocked to find that the corpse was stripping, but I wasn't sure what I should put in my report.

I was doing an autopsy, and was shocked to find that the corpse was getting off, but I wasn't sure what I should put in my report.

I was doing an autopsy, and was shocked to find that the corpse was looking really homeless, but I wasn't sure what I should put in my report.

I was doing an autopsy, and was shocked to find that the corpse was getting in trouble at Home Depot, but I wasn't sure what I should put in my report.

I was doing an autopsy, and was shocked to find that the corpse was handcuffing a four-year-old, but I wasn't sure what I should put in my report.

The church has recognized an inept assassin as a relic of St. Apollinaris, which is said to cure disease.

The church has recognized David Bowie’s mysterious bulge as a relic of St. Apollinaris, which is said to cure disease.

The church has recognized a squeaky-clean bottom as a relic of St. Apollinaris, which is said to cure disease.

The church has recognized mighty Zeus as a relic of St. Apollinaris, which is said to cure disease.

The church has recognized Krampus, the child punisher as a relic of St. Apollinaris, which is said to cure disease.

The church has recognized a suitcase full of guns and money as a relic of St. Apollinaris, which is said to cure disease.

Ok, I’ll admit peeing out a crab might have been a bad idea. But to be fair, I didn’t expect it to result in my ex's new husband.

The new intern is starting this week. Can you set up her workstation for my ex's new husband?

Don’t tell anyone, but I keep my ex's new husband in my sex gymnasium.

The area around Fukushima has become a ghost town, except for my ex's new husband.

Everyone who knows me, knows I love my ex's new husband.

Always walk into an interview with confidence and my ex's new husband, and you’ll get the job.