Nezumi

Nezumi

User name
Nezumi
Assigned title
Asshole Admin
Assigned post color
#838304
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Medals
1-Up Medal 1-Up Medal
Registration date
2005 March 26
Post count
647
Score
175 ₧
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Timezone
UTC
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Recent posts by Nezumi

Recent posts by Nezumi

Nov 20 at 19:47 PST
A sea cucumber can eject  {s} from the anus in self-defense.

A sea cucumber can eject a slut who will do anything from the anus in self-defense.
A sea cucumber can eject a girl who knows what she wants, but not quite how to get it from the anus in self-defense.
A sea cucumber can eject a ceremonial ribbon from the anus in self-defense.
A sea cucumber can eject the Dutch oven from the anus in self-defense.
A sea cucumber can eject my murder list from the anus in self-defense.
A sea cucumber can eject a scissor session from the anus in self-defense.



Sticky filaments
np

10% of all proceeds from sales of sticky filaments will go to The Raping an Entire Family Including the Dog Foundation.
I can’t believe you forced my mom into sticky filaments! She’s 62!
Although moving away from sticky filaments proved effective for schools, the switch to another way in initially led to a spike of child hospitalizations.
Alien cover-ups, false flag operations, and military experiments with sticky filaments! It’s all here in my manifesto!
My fiancee wants our wedding cake to look like it’s a backdoor woman, with sticky filaments around the edges, and bodily fluids on top.
Your attempt to get little Susie what’s-her-name drunk on lime vodka ended with sticky filaments.

Nov 20 at 12:01 PST
The Country Bear Jamboree
n

My religion demands that I must abstain from The Country Bear Jamboree. Being ashamed of your nakedness however, is OK.
The truly rich have mansions with The Country Bear Jamboree room, the black president room, and servants to handle an exploitative sex tape.
Chase bank is giving out The Country Bear Jamboree this week if you open an account and put $100 in it.
I’m ghosts who don’t know what they’re doing today because tomorrow I’ll be over-encumbered with The Country Bear Jamboree.
Lonely guys in Japan can buy The Country Bear Jamboree that sounds like a girl and will even go to bed with them.
Let’s wait for a made up racial slur to fall asleep, then we can sneak out and get The Country Bear Jamboree.

Nov 13 at 20:58 PST
A breeding population of cat girls
n

I got a breeding population of cat girls as a pet! Do you want to see the racy picture we took with almost no air left?
A breeding population of cat girls is slightly prolapsed right now because I was just being an overweight bitch. Sorry.
The four schools of ethics: relativism, universalism, utilitarianism, and a breeding population of cat girls.
Monopoly: Pity Edition comes with a breeding population of cat girls and Mom’s face instead of houses and hotels.
Trapped again, MacGyver began his escape with only my murder list and a breeding population of cat girls.
Can you come get me? I agreed to go with some guys who promised me a breeding population of cat girls and it’s getting weird.

Oct 31 at 00:54 PDT
Alleged Nazi Adolph Hitler
n

Doctor, you’re a genius! No one has ever thought to use alleged Nazi Adolph Hitler to treat Nitro Busey (Gary Busey but faster)!
Help! I’m alleged Nazi Adolph Hitler and I need YOU to do something about it!
Taco Bell® is the spice of alleged Nazi Adolph Hitler.
In some households, they’ve trained alleged Nazi Adolph Hitler to use the potty.
Alleged Nazi Adolph Hitler! Alleged Nazi Adolph Hitler! My kingdom for alleged Nazi Adolph Hitler!
I pushed hard enough to snap alleged Nazi Adolph Hitler, but some powerful kind of cough syrup was blocking the door.

Oct 17 at 02:17 PDT
My father made a living selling  {x}, he supported our whole family with that income.

My father made a living selling a bunch of kids, he supported our whole family with that income.
My father made a living selling a creepy dude, he supported our whole family with that income.
My father made a living selling alcohol, he supported our whole family with that income.
My father made a living selling pubes, he supported our whole family with that income.
My father made a living selling nipple placement, he supported our whole family with that income.
My father made a living selling a cheesy substance, he supported our whole family with that income.

Oct 17 at 01:52 PDT
My whole 5th grade class
nc

I like my women like I like my whole 5th grade class: getting slathered with pandering to the normies.
Vote for me and I’ll stop taking a flying leap, get rid of real, actual witchcraft, and give everyone my whole 5th grade class for free.
My financial analyst has advised me to invest my fortune in my whole 5th grade class.
My religion demands that I must abstain from my whole 5th grade class. A touch however, is OK.
For Halloween we’re peeling my whole 5th grade class so it feels like eyeballs, and we made distended tubes so it feels like brains.
The true reason for the Tacoma Narrows Bridge collapse? My whole 5th grade class.

Oct 15 at 19:23 PDT
The Make a Wish foundation had to close its doors after a dying kid asked for   and no one had the heart to tell them 'no'.

The Make a Wish foundation had to close its doors after a dying kid asked for any decent person and no one had the heart to tell them 'no'.
The Make a Wish foundation had to close its doors after a dying kid asked for a frantic woman and no one had the heart to tell them 'no'.
The Make a Wish foundation had to close its doors after a dying kid asked for my beautiful, transgender father and no one had the heart to tell them 'no'.
The Make a Wish foundation had to close its doors after a dying kid asked for snake jizz and no one had the heart to tell them 'no'.
The Make a Wish foundation had to close its doors after a dying kid asked for boiling water and no one had the heart to tell them 'no'.
The Make a Wish foundation had to close its doors after a dying kid asked for shitting glitter and no one had the heart to tell them 'no'.



Maybe a little wordy...
A Victorian dildo
n

I’ve been single ever since my girlfriend found out I had a Victorian dildo.
I want to say one word to you, just one word: a Victorian dildo.
I’m late to my meeting for a Victorian dildo.
My wife printed me a certifcate for a Victorian dildo. I’m excited for tonight!
Oh dear God! That was the last of my medication for “A Victorian Dildo” syndrome!
I have to visit my uncle for Christmas. He’s always bein’ all a Victorian dildo when he drinks egg nog. It’s so weird!

Sep 15 at 13:15 PDT
An experimental humanoid
n

Can you come get me? I agreed to go with some guys who promised me an experimental humanoid and it’s getting weird.
Making the best cookies requires my evil little body and an experimental humanoid.
My father abandoned my mother and I because he was an experimental humanoid.
I noticed symptoms of crashing out of a window, so I went to my naturopathic doctor. He said, “it’s an experimental humanoid!” but I’m not sure.
Any man who can drive safely while kissing an experimental humanoid is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves.
Last Christmas, everyone got zoo smell under the tree and an experimental humanoid in their stockings!

Please step into the interrogation cubicle. You'll notice that I have   on the counter. I think you know why.

Please step into the interrogation cubicle. You'll notice that I have empty space on the counter. I think you know why.
Please step into the interrogation cubicle. You'll notice that I have a dick out on the counter. I think you know why.
Please step into the interrogation cubicle. You'll notice that I have your husband on the counter. I think you know why.
Please step into the interrogation cubicle. You'll notice that I have the moron I hired to kill you on the counter. I think you know why.
Please step into the interrogation cubicle. You'll notice that I have not another leopard on the counter. I think you know why.
Please step into the interrogation cubicle. You'll notice that I have existential ennui on the counter. I think you know why.