Nezumi

Nezumi

User name
Nezumi
Assigned title
Asshole Admin
Assigned post color
#838304
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Medals
1-Up Medal 1-Up Medal
Registration date
2005 March 26
Post count
717
Score
175 ₧
Location
 
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Timezone
UTC
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Recent posts by Nezumi

Recent posts by Nezumi

Friday at 16:54 PDT
I've heard that in the Amazon, if you pee in a river  {s} might crawl up your pee-hole.

I've heard that in the Amazon, if you pee in a river an even freakier dude might crawl up your pee-hole.
I've heard that in the Amazon, if you pee in a river a protruding vein might crawl up your pee-hole.
I've heard that in the Amazon, if you pee in a river a flea might crawl up your pee-hole.
I've heard that in the Amazon, if you pee in a river an old hornet might crawl up your pee-hole.
I've heard that in the Amazon, if you pee in a river a reception area for social events might crawl up your pee-hole.
I've heard that in the Amazon, if you pee in a river a newer, sleeker leopard might crawl up your pee-hole.

Jun 23 at 15:15 PDT
Let us consider:

Detecting human flesh
v

In Nevada you can pay for a lady detecting human flesh.
Then God said, “Let there be detecting human flesh”; and there was detecting human flesh. And God saw that detecting human flesh was good.
Gather round, family, it’s time to hang detecting human flesh on the Christmas tree.
Shepherds in Scotland have used detecting human flesh for years to keep the flock in line.
Last thing I hear before the anesthesia kicks in is my neurosurgeon saying he’s detecting human flesh.
Online trolls taught Microsoft’s teen girl AI to spew propaganda about detecting human flesh.



or

Flesh sensing technology
n

A weird glitch in the Oculus Rift demo caused me to experience flesh sensing technology like I was really there.
It’s lucky to touch flesh sensing technology; it’s even luckier to touch mine.
In a world with no rules, one man must be flesh sensing technology. Coming this summer.
Command, we’ve got two choppers and flesh sensing technology coming right at us. Please advise.
For Farm Day at my school we had a haystack to search through and find flesh sensing technology.
How embarrassing! I forget I left flesh sensing technology in the foyer.

Jun 10 at 16:16 PDT
Burping blood
v

Burping blood gets me into some awkward situations. But I won’t stop.
It is disrespectful and dangerous to be burping blood during sex.
Sky watchers are excited to gaze upon the Super Blood Moon, which is caused by burping blood.
At the hospital I had to take off my clothes and get into a gown before burping blood.
Politics. The Burping Blood Party, is always trying to shove a promise down our throats.
The sun gets its energy from fusing hydrogen into burping blood.



A blood burp
n

The number one issue for voters is the economy, followed by a blood burp and healthcare.
Kinect automatically recognizes when you’re a blood burp and turns itself on to broadcast it to your friends.
New extreme Mountain Dew™ flavor: A Blood Burp Blast!
I was vacuuming when I sucked a blood burp out from under the couch.
At the new Asian-inspired spot downtown, the chef will prepare a blood burp right at your table.
A weird glitch in the Oculus Rift demo caused me to experience a blood burp like I was really there.



Burping blood on people
v

I noticed symptoms of burping blood on people, so I went to my naturopathic doctor. He said, “it’s $10!” but I’m not sure.
I’m burping blood on people in the streets, but hot lava in the sheets.
The hottest new cryptocurrency is “Burping-blood-on-people-coin”
Nothing good nearly killed me in my dream. I think it’s my brain telling me to avoid burping blood on people.
Thank you ladies and gentlemen! For my next performance art piece, I will be burping blood on people.
Burping blood on people can be used as a dildo, if you’re brave enough.

May 18 at 03:50 PDT
A naked catboy
n

No wonder Dad lost his money, he invested in a naked catboy!
A naked catboy nearly killed me in my dream. I think it’s my brain telling me to avoid The Super Buttsex Arena.
Bumper sticker: My other ride is a naked catboy.
Ok, I’ll admit butt stuff might have been a bad idea. But to be fair, I didn’t expect it to result in a naked catboy.
Our secret society is dedicated a naked catboy.
There is no revenge so complete as a naked catboy.

May 17 at 14:25 PDT
A passage from the bible
n

My girlfriend kicked a passage from the bible, and she’s fine. I want to break up with her but I’m afraid!
Sean Connery famously likes to spend his whole vacation in a beach chair with a passage from the bible in his lap.
A BBC team has witnessed the effects of a passage from the bible on civilians in rebel-held areas of Syria.
My dad’s keyboard has a special key for a passage from the bible.
Dear diary, today I went into the city and saw a passage from the bible for the first time!
When I get older, I don’t want to be a passage from the bible.

Apr 19 at 05:35 PDT
Aw geez, I'm not trying to shame you, but I thought you had  {n}.

Aw geez, I'm not trying to shame you, but I thought you had other things I’ve put in my butt.
Aw geez, I'm not trying to shame you, but I thought you had no Internet.
Aw geez, I'm not trying to shame you, but I thought you had a car crash.
Aw geez, I'm not trying to shame you, but I thought you had another man.
Aw geez, I'm not trying to shame you, but I thought you had shenanigans.
Aw geez, I'm not trying to shame you, but I thought you had female breast tissue.

Apr 14 at 20:48 PDT
The sexual tension between me and  {nc} is palpable!

The sexual tension between me and the orbital socket is palpable!
The sexual tension between me and a cheesy substance is palpable!
The sexual tension between me and thrifty moms is palpable!
The sexual tension between me and a real jerk-off is palpable!
The sexual tension between me and words is palpable!
The sexual tension between me and absolutely no black people is palpable!



The sexual tension between   and you is palpable!

The sexual tension between standing in line at Costco and you is palpable!
The sexual tension between pictures of my body and you is palpable!
The sexual tension between industrial solvent and you is palpable!
The sexual tension between a grave error and you is palpable!
The sexual tension between hiding some pee and you is palpable!
The sexual tension between his vagina and you is palpable!

Apr 14 at 20:46 PDT
Some guy I met at the clinic
nc

The government says chemtrails from planes are just condensation. But we know they’re some guy I met at the clinic!
A salesman came to the door selling a mutilated torso. I didn’t open. He slid some guy I met at the clinic under the door.
Back in my day, we only had some guy I met at the clinic for fun and we LIKED IT.
I heard you were talking about some guy I met at the clinic so I had to come over!
For science class we went on a field trip to see how some guy I met at the clinic happens.
A weird glitch in the Oculus Rift demo caused me to experience some guy I met at the clinic like I was really there.



Some guy she met at the clinic
nc

Soldiers in Afghanistan were deployed with some guy she met at the clinic.
Some guy she met at the clinic can be used as a dildo, if you’re brave enough.
The only thing we could all agree on for a pizza topping: some guy she met at the clinic.
When the stadium was demolished it revealed some guy she met at the clinic, bringing onlookers from far and wide.
Welcome to factory. This machine over here makes some guy she met at the clinic.
The HOA says I can’t have some guy she met at the clinic on my own damn property.

Mar 22 at 13:51 PDT
Archbishop Desmond Tutu
n

I thought I was being attacked, so I defended myself with Archbishop Desmond Tutu.
The four schools of ethics: relativism, universalism, utilitarianism, and Archbishop Desmond Tutu.
After a long day I crawled into bed, only to find Archbishop Desmond Tutu.
At the urgent care clinic they distracted me with Archbishop Desmond Tutu. I barely even felt the needles.
Opioids help people with Archbishop Desmond Tutu, but then they can’t poop.
My favorite new band is “Archbishop Desmond Tutu”.

Mar 15 at 00:52 PDT
A ruse intended to lure mortals into the act of copulation
n

Our secret society is dedicated a ruse intended to lure mortals into the act of copulation.
Sir! We are out of MREs, but we found a ruse intended to lure mortals into the act of copulation in these crates. Shall we ration it to the men?
I bought a ruse intended to lure mortals into the act of copulation yesterday and now I can’t stop trying to handcuff a ghost!
At the acupuncture clinic they stuck needles in $18 worth of Taco Bell™. That’s supposed to help me with a ruse intended to lure mortals into the act of copulation?!
What’s in the fridge? Soda, OJ, a ruse intended to lure mortals into the act of copulation... Sweet! Sunny-D!
Ever since the accident, I freeze in terror at the sight of a ruse intended to lure mortals into the act of copulation.