SuperJer

SuperJer

User name
SuperJer
Assigned title
Websiteman
Assigned post color
#333333
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Registration date
2005 March 20
Post count
5637
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0 ₧
Location
Seattle, WA, USA
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America/Los_Angeles
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Recent posts by SuperJer

Recent posts by SuperJer

Yesterday at 10:57 PST
California foreskin
nc

When California foreskin hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that’s amore!
In this game you get to collect an odd number of titties and craft California foreskin.
If mom hears us talking about California foreskin we’ll be SO grounded!
Two best friends and my father’s example take a road trip, and discover California foreskin along the way.
Ah, California foreskin for my collection. Now no one has more than me.
And my mother said, “How come you’re not California foreskin like your brother?”



California dreaming
vt

In Nevada you can pay for a lady California dreaming with the ’80s.
Deep Earth miners in Venezuela struck an enormous ore vein of the taxpayers. Half the country is California dreaming.
I couldn’t sleep. I’m too anxious about California dreaming tomorrow.
A lifetime of California dreaming awaits. Call now for a free consultation.
My kid was acting like deals, so I took away California dreaming privileges.
Dwayne Johnson has a secret tattoo that reads, “California dreaming,” with a picture of a horse’s booty.

Yesterday at 10:55 PST
Zesty lemon pepper
nc

The sign at the fountain says not to throw zesty lemon pepper in.
Every morning I hop out of bed and get straight to zesty lemon pepper, even before I put on my clothes.
Sometimes I wish I could just lock zesty lemon pepper and a horse’s mouth in a room and let ‘em fight it out.
During the half-time show, a rip in a succulent jumbo prawn exposed zesty lemon pepper to the audience.
Dad! I’m all done vomiting gore all over your face, so I have zesty lemon pepper left over if you’re still interested.
When I told my father he shouted, “No daughter of mine is going out with zesty lemon pepper!”



And 007 was trapped in a room filling with  {pc}!

And 007 was trapped in a room filling with cinderblock justice!
And 007 was trapped in a room filling with live wires hanging from the ceiling!
And 007 was trapped in a room filling with man animals!
And 007 was trapped in a room filling with salt!
And 007 was trapped in a room filling with shenanigans!
And 007 was trapped in a room filling with just the tip!

Yesterday at 10:53 PST
Most fish go "blub blub." But my fish, Rocky, goes " ."

Most fish go "blub blub." But my fish, Rocky, goes "a bad chicken."
Most fish go "blub blub." But my fish, Rocky, goes "the stillness of death."
Most fish go "blub blub." But my fish, Rocky, goes "pulling on my butthole hairs."
Most fish go "blub blub." But my fish, Rocky, goes "a basket of kittens."
Most fish go "blub blub." But my fish, Rocky, goes "wetting the bed."
Most fish go "blub blub." But my fish, Rocky, goes "Her Majesty, the Queen."

Saturday at 14:00 PST
Suddenly screaming the N-word
v

Yeah right Charles! I know you’re cheating on me! How do you explain suddenly screaming the N-word?
I don’t know how suddenly screaming the N-word could lead to threatening my mom but it probably involves going to Wendy’s!
Our secret society is dedicated to elucidating the mysteries of the egg I hatched from suddenly screaming the N-word.
Robots are best suited to repetitive tasks, such as suddenly screaming the N-word or chewing on cars like a giant titanium allosaurus.
I would have never thought that I’d actually be a long rambling story while I’m suddenly screaming the N-word!
Ever since spines appeared in the neighborhood, I’ve felt uncomfortable while suddenly screaming the N-word.

Friday at 14:15 PST
Black woman civil war
nc

Taking care of a cat is easy: Leave out black woman civil war each day, put almost enough oxygen in the corner and let kitty fend for herself.
My daughter came home crying because the kids at school said she was black woman civil war.
I thought I was being attacked, so I defended myself with black woman civil war.
Last Christmas, everyone got a genital louse under the tree and black woman civil war in their stockings!
Dear diary, today I went into the city and saw black woman civil war for the first time!
The new top grade of gasoline has black woman civil war as an additive, which is actually really good for your car.

Friday at 12:51 PST
Matt Damon's sexual assault spectrum goes from  {v} to  {v}.
Play 2

Matt Damon's sexual assault spectrum goes from squirting acid to tugging too hard.
Matt Damon's sexual assault spectrum goes from adopting a Romanian baby to sticking it to the man.
Matt Damon's sexual assault spectrum goes from writhing on the floor and screaming my name to keepin’ it tight.
Matt Damon's sexual assault spectrum goes from making a little whoopsie to masturbating to pictures of dead animals.
Matt Damon's sexual assault spectrum goes from hiding to monkeying around.
Matt Damon's sexual assault spectrum goes from stopping just in time to inspecting the poo.



Stretching my husband's anus
v

The rich aroma of stretching my husband's anus, from the hills of Colombia.
A billboard on my way home had a picture of stretching my husband's anus and the words “breastfeeding”. I don’t get it!
Thank you ladies and gentlemen! For my next performance art piece, I will be stretching my husband's anus.
The hottest new cryptocurrency is “Stretching-my-husbands-anus-coin” -- but it can only be used for transactions involving pregnancy.
My house. 8 o’clock. Stretching my husband's anus.
Doctor! My child has stretching my husband's anus coursing through his veins!



Eating each other
v

My nightly ritual involves following your boner around the room, grandma’s soggy diaper, and finally eating each other just as I fall asleep.
The authorities followed the trail of eating each other, leading them straight to the suspect.
Every morning I hop out of bed and get straight to eating each other, even before I put on my clothes.
The government says chemtrails from planes are just condensation. But we know they’re eating each other!
At the coffee shop they put “eating each other” on my cup. I ran out covering my face.
Dear diary, today I went into the city and saw eating each other for the first time!

Thursday at 13:49 PST
This election has proved that   is 1.5% better than pedophilia.

This election has proved that going down the garbage disposal is 1.5% better than pedophilia.
This election has proved that a sassy male news reporter is 1.5% better than pedophilia.
This election has proved that trying to handcuff a ghost is 1.5% better than pedophilia.
This election has proved that a bullet hole is 1.5% better than pedophilia.
This election has proved that running with a floppy, out-of-control hand is 1.5% better than pedophilia.
This election has proved that a little lesbian boy is 1.5% better than pedophilia.

Thursday at 11:39 PST
Hiding from the Pope under the Medici Chapel, Michelangelo spent his time  {v}.

Hiding from the Pope under the Medici Chapel, Michelangelo spent his time vibrating my pineal gland.
Hiding from the Pope under the Medici Chapel, Michelangelo spent his time violently crashing down the stairs.
Hiding from the Pope under the Medici Chapel, Michelangelo spent his time needing one more inch.
Hiding from the Pope under the Medici Chapel, Michelangelo spent his time wetting the bed.
Hiding from the Pope under the Medici Chapel, Michelangelo spent his time inhaling.
Hiding from the Pope under the Medici Chapel, Michelangelo spent his time squirting everywhere.

Thursday at 11:15 PST
A crate of hentai
n

If my neighbor doesn’t get a crate of hentai off my property, I’m calling the cops!
The Japanese insist on their traditional right to hunt a crate of hentai in the sea.
Last night I dreamed of a crate of hentai. I cannot shake the feeling that iodine will arrive soon.
The baby gets me into some awkward situations. But a crate of hentai has always got my back.
At Home Depot they have this new all-in-one tool that’s shaped like a crate of hentai and can be used for picking at it.
I like my women like I like a gentleman with the tummy grumbles: working me up into a frenzy with a crate of hentai.



My disappointing son
v

If you’re interested in my services, email me at: my-disappointing-son@50-years.biz
We’re having my latest perversion situation. Watch out for my disappointing son and please stand by...
Designed as a feature meant to enhance pleasure, the sex toy will robotically call out “my disappointing son,” over and over again while in use.
This one simple trick is all you need to spice up the bedroom: my disappointing son.
If I had standing in line at Costco, you’d be my disappointing son!
Shepherds in Scotland have used my disappointing son for years to keep the flock from being in the way.

Dec 11 at 12:39 PST
Tie rope to both ends of  {n}. Now you can be  {v}!
Play 2

Tie rope to both ends of Hitler’s dildo. Now you can be beard stroking!
Tie rope to both ends of Milla Jovovich’s dirty underwear. Now you can be letting her in!
Tie rope to both ends of a uniquely adapted slave race. Now you can be jammin’ a body in the wood chipper!
Tie rope to both ends of a warhead. Now you can be _{Uv} with _{n} is a uniquely British problem.!
Tie rope to both ends of meatball marinara. Now you can be having peed!
Tie rope to both ends of ear worms. Now you can be humping people!