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2005 March 20
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Seattle, WA, USA

Recent posts by SuperJer

Recent posts by SuperJer

Nov 30 at 21:26 PST
Going all crazy eyes

I’m late to my meeting for going all crazy eyes.
Donald Trump’s first act as president was to outlaw going all crazy eyes.
I didn’t think this house would sell with a squealing 4-year-old in the attic. Anyway, I’m going all crazy eyes.
Going all crazy eyes with a fridge full of heads is a uniquely British problem.
Throughout human history, going all crazy eyes has been the first activity of explorers of any new region.
Look, man, I’m not into going all crazy eyes. But $20 is $20.

Nov 30 at 21:24 PST
A finger sticking out

I looked up “a hotdog” in Urban Dictionary, and apparently its an act involving a finger sticking out.
You’re not a mom! You’re just a finger sticking out!
We couldn’t land because of a finger sticking out caught in the landing gear. We had to crash land on the runway like a wet spot.
They don’t make an abomination unto God like they used to! This one doesn’t even have a finger sticking out.
Josh said, on the way in to work today, he swerved around a finger sticking out on the freeway.
I got a new app on my phone. It’s called “A Finger Sticking out” and it helps me with getting stepped on by a dominatrix.

Nov 30 at 21:21 PST
Wearing my girl clothes

Can you come get me? I agreed to go with some guys who promised me wearing my girl clothes and it’s getting weird.
Wearing my girl clothes is a temporary setback on the road to a submissive sex android!
Can you call poison control? My daughter just swallowed wearing my girl clothes.
SWF looking for a real man. If you’re wearing my girl clothes, get to the front of the line.
We can be wearing my girl clothes. And no one has to know.
The Spice girls are getting back together! Their 3 new members include wearing my girl clothes spice, deserving to be killed spice, and overzealous product placement spice!

Nov 28 at 15:54 PST
Stand back! I'm  {t}  {n}!!!
Play 2

Stand back! I'm rolling the measure of a man!!!
Stand back! I'm some next-level shit the T-Rex!!!
Stand back! I'm conjuring my VERY jealous, protective pet spider!!!
Stand back! I'm grinding on it white boys!!!
Stand back! I'm Martha Stewart, orgasming a rope tied round my leg!!!
Stand back! I'm cheating S&M gear!!!

Nov 28 at 15:53 PST
My secret vagina

I buried my treasure under my secret vagina so you’d never find it!
At least I was trying to cheer people up when I took my secret vagina to the funeral.
My favorite new band is “Inhaling and My Secret Vagina”.
The patient kept screaming about “an extremely painful sneeze”. Then, right on the operating table, his stomach burst open and my secret vagina emerged!
Oh no! Someone rolled up my secret vagina in a duvet and threw it on the side of the road.
The Japanese insist on their traditional right to hunt my secret vagina in the sea.

Nov 28 at 14:18 PST
A vampire fang

Although moving away from a vampire fang proved effective for schools, the switch to getting stepped on by a dominatrix initially led to a spike of child hospitalizations.
The water tower looks like it’s a vampire fang from this angle.
Some anarchist made the sign over the expressway say “THE STATE IS A VAMPIRE FANG RECEIVING A LOT OF MONEY.”
A Vampire Fang is an elite black ops unit of the United States Army that was established by a coming horrific hell.
The cruiseliner struck a vampire fang and lost power, leaving hundreds of vacationers to deal with the pelvis.
I like divorce papers like I like my coffee: fellating everything in the room, put in a sack, and dragged across a vampire fang.

Nov 28 at 14:10 PST
Chocolate coating

India is launching a rocket to test the effects of micro-gravity on chocolate coating.
The way to the lost city was perilous, and we soon found ourselves knee deep in chocolate coating.
The only thing standing in your way is chocolate coating.
Can you call poison control? My daughter just swallowed chocolate coating.
Growing up in the foster care system, I learned to be chocolate coating if I wanted a new family.
I was vacuuming when I sucked one mile of train rail out from under the couch. I kept pulling until chocolate coating came out too!

Nov 28 at 14:09 PST
The average

My wife printed me a certifcate for the average. I’m excited for tonight!
Abraham Lincoln wrestled with depression, but that did not keep him from tunneling around with the average.
You evaded my “The Average” attack! Most impressive.
I got so drunk last night that I got the average all over everyone and everything.
In the end, the obvious plot twist was that the serial killer was actually the average.
I checked my son’s browser history. Found links about a guillotine and the average. Should I talk to him?

Nov 28 at 14:08 PST
White tears

This food is so good it’s making white tears quiver!
At the skating rink there was white tears and everyone fell down at once.
Sean Connery famously likes to spend his whole vacation in a beach chair with white tears in his lap.
Last Christmas, I gave you white tears. The very next day, you gave it away.
Your attempt to get little Susie what’s-her-name drunk on lime vodka ended with white tears.
I went rafting, saw white tears in the river, no big deal.

Nov 28 at 11:18 PST
Your future

Thank you ladies and gentlemen! For my next performance art piece, I will be your future.
As the A.I. robot gained self-awareness, it immediately began your future.
A billboard on my way home had a picture of giggle shits and the words “your future”. I don’t get it!
I wanted to freak out my girlfriend so I got your future out of the fridge and squeezed it onto my pie slice. Ha ha!
I think a lot of people would pay to see your future.
Doctor! My child has your future coursing through his veins!