SuperJerSuperJerUser name
SuperJer
Assigned title
Websiteman
Assigned post color
#333333
Avatar
Medals
Registration date
2005 March 21
Post count
6794
Score
0 ₧
Location
Seattle, WA, USA
Signature
Timezone
America/Los_Angeles
Groups
Administrators
May 23 at 14:39 UTC
A couple of B-25 bombers n I’m fine with a couple of B-25 bombers. But why do they have to be so in-your-face about it? I didn’t have any cash, so I tipped the pizza guy with a couple of B-25 bombers. If I was God, you would be a couple of B-25 bombers. The Pleasure Pro 9000™ is a sex toy that robotically says “a couple of B-25 bombers,” while in use. I have an idea! Bromance, but for kids! And they all get a couple of B-25 bombers! Donald Trump’s first act as president was to outlaw a couple of B-25 bombers.
May 23 at 05:36 UTC
A whole big bunch of electricity n Dear diary, today I went into the city and saw a whole big bunch of electricity for the first time! I overheard someone in the TSA line saying, “I’m a whole big bunch of electricity” The Pleasure Pro 9000™ is a sex toy that robotically says “a whole big bunch of electricity,” while in use. In this story, only the true king can pull Excalibur out of a whole big bunch of electricity. Growing up in the foster care system, I learned to be a whole big bunch of electricity if I wanted a new family. My sisters were having a pillow fight. They didn’t know I had put a whole big bunch of electricity in the pillows.
May 23 at 00:08 UTC
Infinity crows np India is launching a rocket to test the effects of micro-gravity on infinity crows. My daughter came home crying because the kids at school said she was infinity crows. No wonder Dad lost his money, he invested in infinity crows! Went to Uwajimaya, bought infinity crows, dried and in a bag. Wanna try? Gather round, family, it’s time to hang infinity crows on the Christmas tree. Jeez! Who slipped infinity crows in your Cheerios™ this morning?
May 23 at 00:05 UTC
My car (which was about to explode) n Slender and muscled, like my car (which was about to explode). She was the spitting image of femininity. They cut open the crocodile to find my car (which was about to explode), still searching his ass like always. You can’t keep running around like my car (which was about to explode), you’re going to put an eye out! In the dressing room at Marshall’s, I found my car (which was about to explode) sticking to the wall. Life without love is like my car (which was about to explode) without fruit. While you’re at the store can you pick up my car (which was about to explode), in family size?
May 23 at 00:01 UTC
A fat baby n Someone get Michael! His girlfriend is drunk, up on the table, and she’s a fat baby. My dad’s secret society is dedicated to a fat baby. No wonder Dad lost his money, he invested in a fat baby! Opinions are like a fat baby. Everybody’s got one and they all stink. We’re already half way through a fat baby, so we might as well finish it off. We finally hired a guy at work to take care of a fat baby.
May 23 at 00:00 UTC
All the love in the world nc The sun gets its energy from fusing hydrogen into all the love in the world. Dad said I’d never be all the love in the world. Sadly, he was correct. Trolls tricked Microsoft’s teen girl AI, Tay, into making offensive remarks about all the love in the world. Texas’ largest export after refined oil is all the love in the world. My daughter came home crying because the kids at school said she was all the love in the world. On my Animal Crossing island, I unlocked all the love in the world and now my villagers are the royal baby.
May 22 at 23:59 UTC
Using a meme wrong v The survey team detected using a meme wrong at the work site so I grabbed birth meat and drove straight there. That’s not funny. My father was killed by using a meme wrong. When I get older, I don’t want to use a meme wrong. PG rated movies cut to using a meme wrong instead of showing sex. I got suspended from Twitter for tweeting that “a lamprey infestation was using a meme wrong.” Cosmetic surgeons hate this! Using a meme wrong can increase your breast size in three weeks!
May 11 at 23:12 UTC
Grandma, mummified n It’s way too hot in here for grandma, mummified right now! Anthony Bourdain had grandma, mummified in his system when he died. Since I deserve it, I am going to reward myself with grandma, mummified. A billboard on my way home had a picture of grandma, mummified and the words “The Girl in This Photo”. What will we do with grandma, mummified early in the morning? Never shake a baby. It could lead to grandma, mummified.
May 5 at 00:14 UTC
Screaming centipedes np I can’t swing a dead cat around here without hitting screaming centipedes! I’ve been diagnosed with screaming centipedes. There is no “I” in “team” but there is an “I” in “screaming centipedes”. Excuse me, young man. Does this food court have “screaming centipedes”? Can I get some floss? There’s screaming centipedes between my teeth. Last Christmas, I gave you screaming centipedes. The very next day, you gave it away.
May 5 at 00:11 UTC
Calling mom v Dear diary, today I went into the city and saw calling mom for the first time! World War III will be started by calling mom. This 15th century painting contains a hidden depiction of calling mom for the clever viewer. The only thing standing in your way is calling mom. I Googled for calling mom and found a picture of myself. Will I ever love calling mom as much as I love going to Hooters? |