SuperJer

SuperJer

User name
SuperJer
Assigned title
Websiteman
Assigned post color
#333333
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Registration date
2005 March 20
Post count
6239
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0 ₧
Location
Seattle, WA, USA
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Timezone
America/Los_Angeles
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Recent posts by SuperJer

Recent posts by SuperJer

Tuesday at 11:21 PST
Absolute slime
nc

Can you call poison control? My daughter just swallowed absolute slime.
Help! I’m absolute slime and I need YOU to do something about it!
Absolute slime? That’s my fetish!
McDonald’s combo menu #3: Double Quarter Pounder with Cheese, a large Coke, and a side of absolute slime.
Our secret society is dedicated to elucidating the mysteries of absolute slime vomiting gore all over your face.
You spent all your food-stamps on absolute slime?!

Tuesday at 11:20 PST
Cat drool
nc

Strangely, right before Hitler killed himself, he had a vigorous grind destroyed and cat drool killed as well.
Cat-Drool-a-Roni: the San Francisco treat!
During routine surgery, the doctors found cat drool embedded in my abdomen.
My favorite new band is “Children’s Toys and Cat Drool”.
Daddy! There’s cat drool under my bed. Kill it kill it!
Sometimes, when I’m feeling naughty, I start eating trash before cat drool.

Nov 26 at 15:09 PST
Coke in industrial quantities
nc

The raunchy adult film that’s got parent’s groups scrambling: Coke in Industrial Quantities Does Jalapeños.
Working on my car I found coke in industrial quantities had crawled inside the engine block and died.
Coke in industrial quantities! As far as the eye can see! And it’s all listening to sad music and being sad.
This year’s hottest album is “Coke in Industrial Quantities” by A Big Slow Boat.
You spent all your food-stamps on coke in industrial quantities?!
There’s always time for coke in industrial quantities before breakfast.

Nov 20 at 19:46 PST
The death of something majestic
n

The Spice girls are getting back together! Their 3 new members include completely wigging out spice, having a zero-value existence spice, and the death of something majestic spice!
Don’t look at me while I’m the death of something majestic! It messes me up!
CAUTION: Keep the death of something majestic out of hopper and chute opening. Failure to comply risks mammaries.
NASA spent millions developing a pen that could write in space. The Russians used the death of something majestic.
I’m the T-Rex in the streets, but the death of something majestic in the sheets.
Gather round, family, it’s time to hang the death of something majestic on the Christmas tree.

Nov 20 at 15:22 PST
Being forced to land
v

No thanks. My doctor said being forced to land makes defecation painful.
The police failed to catch the fleeing suspect because of being forced to land.
At the book signing, George R.R. Martin signed my copy of ‟A Song of Being Forced to Land”! I shook his hand and it felt like being forced to land.
My house. 8 o’clock. Being forced to land.
We have a zero tolerance policy for being forced to land here at Disney. So get a caring, understanding man and get out!
For my last meal I want a cage built for an autistic student seasoned lightly with being forced to land.

Nov 20 at 08:01 PST
Whatever is just like, going on with Guy Fieri's hair
n

I’m electric sex today because tomorrow I’ll be over-encumbered with whatever is just like, going on with Guy Fieri's hair.
I’m NOT upgrading to the new iPhone now that Apple has announced it will have whatever is just like, going on with Guy Fieri's hair.
We are going to taxidermy whatever is just like, going on with Guy Fieri's hair to make a statue out of it!
The way to the lost city was perilous, and we soon found ourselves knee deep in whatever is just like, going on with Guy Fieri's hair.
Sean Connery famously likes to spend his whole vacation in a beach chair with whatever is just like, going on with Guy Fieri's hair in his lap.
My publisher demanded I remove whatever is just like, going on with Guy Fieri's hair from my manuscript because it’s “not decent.”

Nov 17 at 23:54 PST
More witnesses
np

A BBC team has witnessed the effects of more witnesses on civilians in rebel-held areas of Syria.
Is there a free outlet? I need to plug in and charge more witnesses.
But I promised I would get my kids more witnesses for Christmas!
I’m undergoing immersion therapy by continually exposing myself to more witnesses.
During routine surgery, the doctors found more witnesses embedded in my abdomen.
A good description of sex, suitable for children: Hooplah; more witnesses; scoring.

Oct 30 at 14:15 PDT
The cops destroyed Leo Lech's house because they thought  {n} was inside.

The cops destroyed Leo Lech's house because they thought quick-set cement was inside.
The cops destroyed Leo Lech's house because they thought a child predator was inside.
The cops destroyed Leo Lech's house because they thought spiders again was inside.
The cops destroyed Leo Lech's house because they thought good, Christian values was inside.
The cops destroyed Leo Lech's house because they thought the gays was inside.
The cops destroyed Leo Lech's house because they thought Jesus’s death was inside.

Oct 27 at 13:23 PDT
Bullying that beautiful little manatee
v

I went to my step mom’s church and the priest blessed me with bullying that beautiful little manatee.
A couple in Memphis was arrested after allegedly bullying that beautiful little manatee right in front of their children.
President Putin’s approval rating shot to nearly 100% when the Russian government began bullying that beautiful little manatee.
This party was a real snooze, until bullying that beautiful little manatee got things jumpin’.
At his last campaign rally, Bernie Sanders began bullying that beautiful little manatee in front of his top supporters.
This workplace has gone (0) days without bullying that beautiful little manatee.



My phone
n

I will do anything for my phone. But I won’t do that!
Daddy, what’s my phone? The kids at school say it about you and laugh.
In a miraculous 18-hour operation, a toddler from Ivory Coast had my phone removed so she can live a normal life.
Before you embark on a journey of revenge, consider my phone.
When my phone hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that’s amore!
Traffic is backed up for 7 miles due to an overturned semi hauling my phone. The driver was fighting one-on-one.



Should I be concerned about  {n} playing so many Nirvana songs?

Should I be concerned about raw goose playing so many Nirvana songs?
Should I be concerned about elbow grease playing so many Nirvana songs?
Should I be concerned about my displeasure playing so many Nirvana songs?
Should I be concerned about a dictionary for swears playing so many Nirvana songs?
Should I be concerned about a lovable grandfather playing so many Nirvana songs?
Should I be concerned about furries playing so many Nirvana songs?



Oct 18 at 19:46 PDT
My inflamed junk
nc

12th street is closed due to a man in a tree throwing my inflamed junk at cars and passers-by.
Art can be defined by seeking death but only if it gets you my inflamed junk and inspired.
Wife and I got a bit kinky last night. Ended up at the hospital to get my inflamed junk removed from her and 60 seconds removed from me.
We couldn’t land because of my inflamed junk caught in the landing gear. We had to crash land on the runway like just falling out of my bung hole.
When I was bodybuilding I tried to dead-lift their own mothers over my head, but my inflamed junk got in the way.
The new hit reality show: Can You Swallow My Inflamed Junk?