SuperJer

SuperJer

User name
SuperJer
Assigned title
Websiteman
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#333333
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Registration date
2005 March 20
Post count
6135
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0 ₧
Location
Seattle, WA, USA
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America/Los_Angeles
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Recent posts by SuperJer

Recent posts by SuperJer

Eating part of the cat
v

The TSA has made new rules mandating eating part of the cat on every commercial flight.
In my state, eating part of the cat is a legal right for me and my native brothers.
Amtrak officials confirm eating part of the cat would have prevented train derailment.
I scream, you scream, eating part of the cat, the deceased!
eating part of the cat is where the mayor goes to die.
Eating part of the cat can be used as a dildo, if you’re brave enough.



Getting shot in the head twice
v

Don’t be getting shot in the head twice alone! Join the Getting Shot in the Head Twice Club and do it with others.
Fellating everything in the room while driving has been statistically shown to increase the risk of getting shot in the head twice.
I make goat porn for my cat by getting shot in the head twice with most of my blood. Oreo loves it!
I’ll never know why my grandparents find getting shot in the head twice so relaxing.
My girlfriend kicked skin worms, and now she’s getting shot in the head twice. I want to break up with her but I’m afraid!
My father abandoned my mother and I because he was getting shot in the head twice.

My mom, doing my taxes
n

This year’s hottest new fashion is my mom, doing my taxes on your head.
Politics. The Wildly Swinging Middle Fingers Party, is always trying to shove my mom, doing my taxes down our throats. This time it’s 50 years.
But of the tree of my mom, doing my taxes you shall not eat, for in the day you eat of it you shall surely die.
In my wild days I was completely wigging out, among other crimes. They finally caught me doing it with my mom, doing my taxes on the New Mexico border.
I like my mom, doing my taxes like I like my coffee: not riding a Segway, put in a sack, and dragged across a horrible selection of gay men.
I’m shoving my mom, doing my taxes in the ground, in hopes that a Russian bride comes and harvests it.

Saturday at 19:04 PDT
Do not mix chlorine and  {n} or it will create deadly chloramine gas!

Do not mix chlorine and really bad teeth or it will create deadly chloramine gas!
Do not mix chlorine and a real jerk-off or it will create deadly chloramine gas!
Do not mix chlorine and white men with guns or it will create deadly chloramine gas!
Do not mix chlorine and the girl in this photo or it will create deadly chloramine gas!
Do not mix chlorine and narcotics or it will create deadly chloramine gas!
Do not mix chlorine and nothing, initially or it will create deadly chloramine gas!

Friday at 14:06 PDT
A cat or a squid
n

I wanted to freak out my girlfriend so I got a cat or a squid out of the fridge and squeezed it onto my pie slice. Ha ha!
In prison we used to cook a cat or a squid in the toilet.
Ever since the accident, I freeze in terror at the sight of a cat or a squid.
The truly rich have mansions with my fantasy room, a cat or a squid room, and servants to handle masturbating to pictures of dead animals.
And my mother said, “How come you’re not a cat or a squid like your brother?”
Shepherds in Scotland have used a cat or a squid for years to keep the flock from vomiting gore all over your face.

Apr 18 at 14:09 PDT
Becoming great friends
v

IBM’s new “green” office building gets 20% of its power from becoming great friends, and the eco-glass windows trap in good vibes.
Researchers have trained chimps to recognise assuming complete control by rewarding them with becoming great friends.
Chimps in the wild have been observed using becoming great friends to forage for food.
Becoming great friends! Becoming great friends! My kingdom for becoming great friends!
I go to Hooters, yeah, but only for becoming great friends!
If you’re interested in my services, email me at: becoming-great-friends@bruises-on-my-pelvis.biz

Apr 18 at 13:56 PDT
The goose
n

The rich aroma of the goose, from the hills of Colombia.
The goose can be used as a dildo, if you’re brave enough.
I’m undergoing immersion therapy by continually exposing myself to the goose.
Welcome to the neighborhood! I live down the street. You’ll recognize my house with the goose.
Ever since the goose appeared in the neighborhood, I’ve felt uncomfortable while horsing around.
It’s huge. It’s wet. It’s sprawled out in the parking lot. It’s the goose.

Apr 18 at 13:53 PDT
Getting absolutely fucked
v

Doctor! My child has getting absolutely fucked coursing through his veins!
If mom hears us talking about getting absolutely fucked we’ll be SO grounded!
At the hospital I had to take off my clothes and get into Roman battlesex before getting absolutely fucked.
At the urgent care clinic they distracted me with getting absolutely fucked. I barely even felt a gay Mexican.
There’s a death sentence convention going on and everybody is getting absolutely fucked.
My teacher graded my paper F because I wrote about getting absolutely fucked.



I think   is burned into the TV in the bedroom.

I think their white asses is burned into the TV in the bedroom.
I think a difficult Canadian is burned into the TV in the bedroom.
I think gunfire is burned into the TV in the bedroom.
I think getting boinked is burned into the TV in the bedroom.
I think pandering to the normies is burned into the TV in the bedroom.
I think an ancient Indian burial ground is burned into the TV in the bedroom.



Pawns in my little game
np

In a world with hot biscuits & gravy losing on purpose, one man must overcome pawns in my little game. Coming this summer.
The Japanese insist on their traditional right to hunt pawns in my little game in the sea.
The best comfort food will always be greens, pawns in my little game, and fried chicken.
I’ll never know why my grandparents find pawns in my little game so relaxing.
Designed as a feature meant to enhance pleasure, the sex toy will robotically call out “pawns in my little game,” over and over again while in use.
We can be pawns in my little game. And no one has to know.

Apr 18 at 13:41 PDT
Slinking around the corner
v

I don’t need love because I’m slinking around the corner. Sorry mom!
We have a zero tolerance policy for slinking around the corner here at Disney. So get what you did to my face and get out!
At the carnival I went on the thing where you ride two firetrucks. It made me feel like I was slinking around the corner.
While I was out the Roomba got into zoo smell and was slinking around the corner.
What the good bacteria department lacks in selection, we make up for in slinking around the corner.
My publisher demanded I remove slinking around the corner from my manuscript because it’s “not decent.”



I can smell that the cat was in here,  {v}.

I can smell that the cat was in here, pulling out just in time.
I can smell that the cat was in here, expectorating some sludge.
I can smell that the cat was in here, slipping on a jizz slick.
I can smell that the cat was in here, screaming and barfing a little.
I can smell that the cat was in here, sinking into the mud.
I can smell that the cat was in here, getting all fucked up on PCP.

Apr 18 at 13:39 PDT
Cheeseburger drippings
np

I bought cheeseburger drippings yesterday and now I can’t stop porkin’!
At the acupuncture clinic they stuck needles in cheeseburger drippings. That’s supposed to help me with bruises on my pelvis?!
In some households, they’ve trained cheeseburger drippings to use the potty.
I can’t swing the song of my people around here without hitting cheeseburger drippings!
Don’t count cheeseburger drippings before they hatch.
I would have never thought that I’d actually be cheeseburger drippings while I’m a newer, sleeker leopard!

Apr 18 at 13:37 PDT
There was a mixup and my landlady got  {n} sewn onto her shirt.

There was a mixup and my landlady got every pterodactyl sewn onto her shirt.
There was a mixup and my landlady got Oprah’s smile sewn onto her shirt.
There was a mixup and my landlady got pure love sewn onto her shirt.
There was a mixup and my landlady got a powerful skeleton, William Howard Taft sewn onto her shirt.
There was a mixup and my landlady got a finely sculpted buttock sewn onto her shirt.
There was a mixup and my landlady got a bunch of kids sewn onto her shirt.