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websiteman husband
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2016 April 30
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Creamed Korn

Recent posts by todays_wet_sin

Recent posts by todays_wet_sin

Jul 26 at 17:55 PDT
My cat wont stop  {v}. What should I do?

My cat wont stop throwing up in an autistic woman’s lap. What should I do?
My cat wont stop stopping just in time. What should I do?
My cat wont stop terrorizing a small Irish village. What should I do?
My cat wont stop making sure no one sees. What should I do?
My cat wont stop fighting one-on-one. What should I do?
My cat wont stop pushing it deeper. What should I do?

Jul 26 at 17:25 PDT
Bank vaults

It’s dangerous to leave bank vaults on the stairs.
I didn’t think this house would sell with bank vaults in the attic.
Don’t look at me while I’m bank vaults! It messes me up!
What the accounting department lacks in attractiveness, we make up for in bank vaults.
Thank you ladies and gentlemen! For my next performance art piece, I will be bank vaults.
Last night was the tragic result of bank vaults.

Jul 14 at 19:01 PDT

When the stadium was demolished it revealed TITS TITS!, bringing onlookers from far and wide.
My wife is WAY better at TITS TITS! than me! How have I kept her happy for all these years
I was surprised to find bones in TITS TITS!. Is that normal?
The refugees must be relocated because the shelter is right on top of TITS TITS!.
Brooklyn mom makes $20,000 a week! How, you ask? TITS TITS!.
As the A.I. robot gained self-awareness, it immediately began TITS TITS!.

Jul 11 at 16:52 PDT
Dangly bracelets

My teacher graded my paper F because I wrote about dangly bracelets.
Dangly bracelets in the hand is worth two in the bush.
I couldn’t see the eclipse because of dangly bracelets in the sky.
In future times, the children will work together to build dangly bracelets.
According to the Senate, the Internet is a series of dangly bracelets.
If mom hears us talking about dangly bracelets we’ll be SO grounded!

2018 Feb 20 at 21:14 PST
Telekinetic pleasure death

In this game you get to collect telekinetic pleasure death and craft racial superiority.
SWF looking for a real man. If you’re telekinetic pleasure death, get to the front of the line.
... And so my mom asked me, “If all your friends were telekinetic pleasure death, would you be telekinetic pleasure death as well?”
At work I secretly have telekinetic pleasure death under my desk.
This land is telekinetic pleasure death land, this land is a cranky, foul mouthed old lady land.
I went rafting, saw telekinetic pleasure death in the river, no big deal.

2018 Jan 13 at 12:54 PST
President Washington's head

Traffic has only gotten worse since the transportation department deployed President Washington's head up and down the highway.
Let President Washington's head host your next party, providing rustic-looking shit that hipsters care about like you’ve never experienced before.
The night before Easter, we’ll set up President Washington's head on the porch to surprise the kids.
People are freaking out because the new Happy Meal PEZ® dispenser is President Washington's head.
It's like they always say: President Washington's head never changes.
If I had President Washington's head, you’d be her cooter!

2017 Dec 28 at 12:10 PST
My first spank bank

Adult videos can have a vanilla scene, or girl on my first spank bank, or even some kind of a gurgling anus scene.
I’m glad you’re my new roomie, my last one was always my first spank bank. Always.
The new self-help fad: Better Living Through My First Spank Bank!
For 35 years I’ve done this job for the same pay, my first spank bank every single day.
In my wild days I was exposing their genitals, among other crimes. They finally caught me doing it with my first spank bank on the New Mexico border.
The good news is that I was only barfing because I ate my first spank bank.

2017 Dec 20 at 14:21 PST
A bisexual's preference

I’m getting a body pillow with a penis installed in my car, so I can be a bisexual's preference while I drive.
The refugees must be relocated because the shelter is right on top of a bisexual's preference.
Our artisanal process ages a Ouija board for 3 years, before going right into a bisexual's preference, rapidly literally shivering me timbers.
The new Ford F-750 with more torque than a bisexual's preference.
A bisexual's preference! A bisexual's preference! My kingdom for a bisexual's preference!
A bisexual's preference in the hand is worth two in the bush.

2017 Dec 19 at 13:30 PST
Underwear, but only for adults

Opinions are like underwear, but only for adults. Everybody’s got one and they all stink.
What separates the winners from the losers is how a person reacts to underwear, but only for adults.
Let good people host your next party, providing underwear, but only for adults like you’ve never experienced before.
I can’t believe you guys went rubbing my gland without me! Loop me in next time, I want underwear, but only for adults too!
Wolves don’t eat underwear, but only for adults, and neither should kings.
The cruiseliner struck underwear, but only for adults and lost power, leaving hundreds of vacationers to deal with two F-bombs.

2017 Dec 16 at 18:38 PST
White people butts

Nancy Drew and the Mystery of White People Butts.
A 2008 study of Movile’s only snail found that it has been not riding a Segway. The snail may have escaped white people butts by going underground.
Command, we’ve got two choppers and white people butts coming right at us. Please advise.
I don’t think that even comes close to being white people butts.
I prayed to God for white people butts, and God delivered!
In the bathroom at the mall I accidentally dropped sinister plans in the toilet and touched white people butts on the wall.