Superjer Against Humanity Suggestions.

Superjer Against Humanity Suggestions.

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SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 6311
What is Machine-gun Betty? All I'm finding is shoes and a music-artiste.
 
 
2014 Dec 1 at 22:26 PST — Ed. 2014 Dec 1 at 22:26 PST
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 6311
2000th card added!

I was adding the lately suggested cards and noticed we were almost at 2000. So I busted out the random dictionary and added a ton of new cards.

Changes and additions:

https://github.com/superjer/sah/commit/780d8742c0e95d3d727c8384d5601a79173b583a
 
 
2014 Dec 1 at 23:10 PST — Ed. 2014 Dec 1 at 23:11 PST
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 6311
What's this? A compact new way to view all the cards?

http://www.superjer.com/forum/sah/all.php
 
 
2014 Dec 1 at 23:38 PST
buq25

2008 Jul 5 • 583
295 ₧
SuperJer said:
What's this? A compact new way to view all the cards?

http://www.superjer.com/forum/sah/all.php


Wow, having them ordered by length forms nice lines as you scroll down.
Today's post brought to you by the letter: "heck".
 
 
2014 Dec 2 at 11:00 PST
NatureJay
SJA: Commander of Ruthless Abuse

Good Conduct Medal
2005 Mar 22 • 1871
574 ₧
I got some alphabets although I keep running into the problem where I think of multiple good entries for one letter...

Authentic cuisine from a van.
Beluga tits.
Curious, probing tendrils.
A dog boner.
Eating a bowl full of spider webs. [Credit: Archer]
Fatty grunts.
A Glasgow smile.
A hilarious coma.
Intestinal distress.
The jape of the century. [Credit: The Mighty Boosh]
Krampus.
Long, deep kisses with eyes wide open. [Credit: Achewood]
Manhandling the merchandise.
Not a bear.
Organic porpoise semen.
Priapus, the patron god of boners.
A quiver full of explosive arrows.
The reptile brain.
Spines.
Tar pits gurgling quietly.
Ululating majestically.
Vagrants hiding religious relics.
The Wendigo.
Xanadu.
Yakety Sax.
A ziggurat made of torsos.



Also, new black card:

Whoa, whoa, whoa... ___ is not on trial here!
100% natural, no antibiotics, and bloodgrass-fed
 
 
2014 Dec 2 at 16:31 PST — Ed. 2014 Dec 2 at 22:08 PST
aaronjer
*****'n Admin

Comrade General 5-Star
2005 Mar 21 • 4664
1,227 ₧
Machine-gun Betty is just a funny sounding name. Also she's my ex-wife.
 
 
2014 Dec 2 at 19:44 PST
Nezumi
Asshole Admin

1-Up Medal
2005 Mar 26 • 654
175 ₧
NatureJay said:
A Glasgow smile.


Nice.
 
 
2014 Dec 3 at 16:37 PST
jeff is wizlord

2014 Nov 12 • 280
White cards

Keepin' it warm in the cooch
Quiet poots
Tender pinches
Gentle plops

Gentle plops is dumb.
 
 
2014 Dec 3 at 18:30 PST — Ed. 2014 Dec 4 at 14:26 PST
Bootfist
2013 Dec 28 • 27
A beautiful dad.
Pooping in the womb.
 
 
2014 Dec 3 at 18:40 PST
Nezumi
Asshole Admin

1-Up Medal
2005 Mar 26 • 654
175 ₧
According to that View All page, we've got:
Legs
Weird legs
Hyperactive legs
Closing her legs
Between your legs
Long, spindly legs
A bulky frame, sturdy legs, and rounded cloven hooves
 
 
2014 Dec 4 at 20:02 PST
NatureJay
SJA: Commander of Ruthless Abuse

Good Conduct Medal
2005 Mar 22 • 1871
574 ₧
but how many references to poop are there
100% natural, no antibiotics, and bloodgrass-fed
 
 
2014 Dec 4 at 20:10 PST
Nezumi
Asshole Admin

1-Up Medal
2005 Mar 26 • 654
175 ₧
I dunno, but here's another one thanks to The Heart She Holler:
Fecal intimacy pills.
 
 
2014 Dec 5 at 00:44 PST
jeff is wizlord

2014 Nov 12 • 280
Black cards:

Play 2
Doctor, you're a genius! No one has ever thought of using _____ to treat _____!


Why granny, what a big _____ you have!


The boy would grow to be a great leader, and his name was _______.
 
 
2014 Dec 5 at 15:48 PST
NatureJay
SJA: Commander of Ruthless Abuse

Good Conduct Medal
2005 Mar 22 • 1871
574 ₧
Another NightVale-inspired black card. Rephrased...

Quote:
The human soul weighs about as much as ___, smells like ___, looks like ___, and sounds like ___.


Their answers were, 12 grams, grilled vegetables, a wrinkled tartan quilt, bridge traffic.
100% natural, no antibiotics, and bloodgrass-fed
 
 
2014 Dec 5 at 18:05 PST — Ed. 2014 Dec 5 at 18:06 PST
jeff is wizlord

2014 Nov 12 • 280
White Card Time!

Smooshy cats on the glass

Prime squishy mode

 
 
2014 Dec 6 at 11:11 PST — Ed. 2014 Dec 7 at 13:17 PST
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 6311
Smooshy cats? You mean like they're smooshed up against the glass?
 
 
2014 Dec 7 at 13:12 PST
jeff is wizlord

2014 Nov 12 • 280
Yessir
 
 
2014 Dec 7 at 13:17 PST
jeff is wizlord

2014 Nov 12 • 280
Black Card

Play 3
Help! I can't find my daughter! She's wearing ___ looks like ___ and is carrying ___.
 
 
2014 Dec 8 at 15:45 PST
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 6311
S'alferbert tame!!

The albatross I carry.
Black power.
Camaraderie and shenanigans.
Due time.
The egg I hatched from.
My fantasy physique.
Grabby hands.
A happy accident.
Indian burn.
Jalapeños.
The king and his family.
Lifting off the toilet.
The most humane action.
The next time.
An obstinate, but lovable grandfather.
Prey.
A quirky, vegan CEO.
A real butt-toucher.
Sustained surface winds.
Taco Bell.
My uterus.
Voodoo math. (Or something like math)
Wafting upstairs.
Foxy furries.
Your name.
A back-breaking zit.

Bonus black cards from my research!

Opening _ takes pressure off of _.

_ upstairs is pushing the buttons, and if _ happens to be on that button, well, thank you.
 
 
2014 Dec 8 at 16:41 PST
Nezumi
Asshole Admin

1-Up Medal
2005 Mar 26 • 654
175 ₧
When I told my parents, my father shouted "No daughter of mine is going out with _!"

squirting acid
 
 
2014 Dec 10 at 18:23 PST
NatureJay
SJA: Commander of Ruthless Abuse

Good Conduct Medal
2005 Mar 22 • 1871
574 ₧
I think the term is "Voodoo economics."
100% natural, no antibiotics, and bloodgrass-fed
 
 
2014 Dec 10 at 18:53 PST
NatureJay
SJA: Commander of Ruthless Abuse

Good Conduct Medal
2005 Mar 22 • 1871
574 ₧
I feel like I'm forever contending with the fact that half of what you jackwipes want for white card prominently figures poop and/or a real or implied butt. So, with that in mind... double or nothing.


Affectionate biting.
Bubble and squeak.
Chasing a firetruck. Credit: Rube Waddell's life
Deviant urges.
Explicit eating.
Firing off the squibs too early.
Googly eyes pasted on everyone and everything.
A heroin-caked frying pan locked in a safe. Credit: this
An implied butt.
Just an illegal blood ritual. Credit: Bored to Death
Killer abs.
Lollygagging.
Mildew, mold, and traces of fungal spores.
Nuances.
Owl infestations. Credit: Lucid TV
Precious ambergris. Credit: Futurama
My quarry.
Removing a uterine tumor with my teeth. Credit: William S. Burroughs
A stubby-armed reach-around.
Tweaker logic. Credit: See H
The uncooperative dead.
A vortex that keeps mumbling.
Wrestling alligators in the offseason. Credit: Rube Waddell's life
Xenophagy.
Yuppie flu.
A zealous follower.


Apocalyptic machinery, just mowing us all down. Credit: Achewood
Backwash.
A comedy of errors.
A day at the beach.
Empowerment.
A fifteen-pound newborn. Credit: The news?
Those glorious gams.
Halitosis.
The immigrant experience in America.
A jaunty tune.
A karate chop.
Loving someone SO much.
Mandelbrot pornography.
Nanomachines. (willing to accept suggestions on an absurd function for them)
Only the most beautiful things that can be eaten.
The placenta of your firstborn.
Quaaludes.
A rogue space volcano. Credit: EVE + Ato/Grato
A shot in the dark.
The trials of manhood.
Upsetting footage not suitable for children.
Vacuous remarks.
A white card. Credit: metaaaaa
An X-rated PSA.
Yorkshire pudding.
A zero-emission giant death robot.
100% natural, no antibiotics, and bloodgrass-fed
 
 
2014 Dec 10 at 23:31 PST — Ed. 2014 Dec 10 at 23:35 PST
aaronjer
*****'n Admin

Comrade General 5-Star
2005 Mar 21 • 4664
1,227 ₧
Spunk Eggs.
 
 
2014 Dec 11 at 00:56 PST
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 6311
@naturebones I like both your alphabets. But I think an ineffectual stubby-armed reach-around paints a more entertaining picture.
 
 
2014 Dec 11 at 10:08 PST
NatureJay
SJA: Commander of Ruthless Abuse

Good Conduct Medal
2005 Mar 22 • 1871
574 ₧
SuperJer said:
@naturebones I like both your alphabets. But I think an ineffectual stubby-armed reach-around paints a more entertaining picture.

It's a little redundant, but if you feel like it, okay? It doesn't really narrow the meaning in any literal way although some might feel connotations of "not trying hard enough."

We still need to come up with something stupid, profane, or body-horror-y for the nanomachines to be doing.
100% natural, no antibiotics, and bloodgrass-fed
 
 
2014 Dec 11 at 13:41 PST
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