Crytax

Crytax

User name
Crytax
Assigned title
Ph. D in Cryonics
Assigned post color
#88aacc
Avatar
Medals
 
Registration date
2006 April 26
Post count
386
Score
11 ₧
Location
People's Republic of Cascadia
Signature
What if Gillette WAS the best a man could get?
Timezone
UTC
Groups
 

Recent posts by Crytax

Recent posts by Crytax

A 3rd edition of the wholesome erotic RPG Headpats & Handjobs™
n

Baskin Robbins is going off the deep end with their new flavors, I saw a 3rd edition of the wholesome erotic RPG Headpats & Handjobs™ flavor and then fist pumping flavor.
These special lenses help colorblind people see that a 3rd edition of the wholesome erotic RPG Headpats & Handjobs™ is being tall enough to ride.
Burned clothing can wear down a 3rd edition of the wholesome erotic RPG Headpats & Handjobs™, which gradually decreases effectiveness.
Music without the sounds of a 3rd edition of the wholesome erotic RPG Headpats & Handjobs™ is hardly music at all.
If a 3rd edition of the wholesome erotic RPG Headpats & Handjobs™ were in the Olympics, Canada would be in great shape!
When I went into the bathroom I swear I saw a 3rd edition of the wholesome erotic RPG Headpats & Handjobs™ in the mirror! And it smelled like getting boinked in there! I’m so scared!

Apr 26 at 06:49 PDT
A full-body cringe
n

Police were able to track the suspect after finding DNA evidence in a full-body cringe.
If mom hears us talking about a full-body cringe we’ll be SO grounded!
We’re having a wet tongue situation. Watch out for a full-body cringe and please stand by...
The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for 30 years she served my family nothing but a full-body cringe.
Wine tasters describe this Pinot Grigio as having silky hints of a full-body cringe and a mouthfeel like your fluid-filled lungs.
Today I bought no evidence of any infidelity from the back of a van. They also threw in a full-body cringe, which I didn’t even think was legal.

Apr 14 at 22:30 PDT
There is an untapped infinite supply of   in the ocean.

There is an untapped infinite supply of landlady bosoms in the ocean.
There is an untapped infinite supply of waking in terror in the ocean.
There is an untapped infinite supply of the taxpayers in the ocean.
There is an untapped infinite supply of getting slathered in the ocean.
There is an untapped infinite supply of a shrieking tarantula in the ocean.
There is an untapped infinite supply of Christopher Lloyd holding a dog in the ocean.

Apr 14 at 22:27 PDT
News reports are showing that we've lost Canada and Mexico to   already.

News reports are showing that we've lost Canada and Mexico to a bad landing already.
News reports are showing that we've lost Canada and Mexico to formaldehyde already.
News reports are showing that we've lost Canada and Mexico to a bad chicken already.
News reports are showing that we've lost Canada and Mexico to instant death already.
News reports are showing that we've lost Canada and Mexico to a ripe body already.
News reports are showing that we've lost Canada and Mexico to several children already.

Apr 14 at 22:26 PDT
An impenetrable wall of swine
n

An impenetrable wall of swine is always a contest when I’m involved.
They don’t make an impenetrable wall of swine like they used to! This one doesn’t even have too much denim.
The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for 30 years she served my family nothing but an impenetrable wall of swine.
In the end, the obvious plot twist was that the serial killer was actually an impenetrable wall of swine.
The night before Easter, we’ll set up an impenetrable wall of swine on the porch to surprise the kids.
These wounds were given to me by the beast of legend. Part of it was a weak spot, part was a hollow shell, and it was crowned with an impenetrable wall of swine.

Apr 14 at 22:24 PDT
5,000 feral hogs
np

John “5,000 feral hogs” Smith. The genius who brought us rival anthills.
Vote for me and I’ll stop catching one in the bum, get rid of a garbage disposal, and give everyone 5,000 feral hogs for free.
I picked up a hitchhiker and he showed me 5,000 feral hogs while we were still in the car.
This year’s hottest new fashion is 5,000 feral hogs on your head.
My teacher graded my paper F because I wrote about 5,000 feral hogs.
We need more black cards! Maybe another one about 5,000 feral hogs, but with getting too excited!

Apr 14 at 22:23 PDT
On this map, each dot represents  .

On this map, each dot represents a censor bar.
On this map, each dot represents getting a face full of crotch.
On this map, each dot represents a garbage truck.
On this map, each dot represents my murder list.
On this map, each dot represents a crazy cat lady.
On this map, each dot represents its opposite.

Apr 10 at 20:37 PDT
An alarming amount of my hair
n

Trapped again, MacGyver began his escape with only an alarming amount of my hair and a slut who will do anything.
Doctor! My child has an alarming amount of my hair coursing through his veins!
The fire raged out of control because the firemen’s hoses got caught around an alarming amount of my hair.
I want to say one word to you, just one word: an alarming amount of my hair.
Abraham Lincoln wrestled with depression, but that did not keep him from vomiting gore all over your face with an alarming amount of my hair.
If you see your dog scooting his butt on the carpet, it probably mean he’s an alarming amount of my hair.

“well-balanced proportions”
np

My pharmacist separated “well-balanced proportions” into two parts, and carefully lowered one into an elite Korean hacker.
Mortally wounded by three shots to his abdomen, the Secret Service agent returned fire, killing the assassin with “well-balanced proportions”.
I’ve got a master’s degree in “well-balanced Proportions”!
This food is so good it’s making “well-balanced proportions” quiver!
While I was out the dog chewed into the packaging on “well-balanced proportions”. I found him showing mercy.
IBM’s new “green” office building gets 20% of its power from mercury poisoning, and the eco-glass windows trap in “well-balanced proportions”.

A hundred men or more
np

In future times, the children will work together to build a hundred men or more.
Deep Earth miners in Venezuela struck an enormous ore vein of a hundred men or more. Half the country is getting all fucked up on PCP.
The media’s nonstop coverage of a hundred men or more is just to distract us from a uniquely British problem.
The city council wants to cut down on a hundred men or more. Meanwhile people are freely wriggling and thrashing!
My father abandoned my mother and I because he was a hundred men or more.
The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for 30 years she served my family nothing but a hundred men or more.