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 I just wanted ineffectual to make the joke entirely clear. Plus anything in the class of "ineffectual handjobs" is pretty funny.
 
 Wound-cleaning nanomachines.
 Weaponized nanomachines.
 Honey-making nanomachines.
 Organ-swapping nanomachines.
 Parasitic nanomachines.
 Crawling with nanomachines.
 Teeming with nanomachines?
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 2014 Dec 12 at 00:52 UTC
 — Ed. 2014 Dec 12 at 00:53 UTC
  
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NatureJay 
SJA: Commander of Ruthless Abuse
  
  
2005 Mar 23 • 1871 
574 ₧ 
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 "Nanomachines programmed by those attempting to bring about the Antichrist?"
 
It's too fucking wordy is what it is.  But yeah, clarity is an important take, let's keep the adjustment to that card as you made it.
 
100% natural, no antibiotics, and  bloodgrass-fed
  
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 2014 Dec 12 at 00:54 UTC
  
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 I will also submit an alpherbit. Or attempt to.
 
 Animalistic hunger
 The best cake ever made
 A cold yogi
 Dirigible death match
 Everything under the sea
 A fat and fancy pidgin (credit to the-punchline-is-machismo)
 Gladiator pants
 Hounding the family dog
 Ill-advised business decisions
 Jerking jerk chicken
 Keel hauling the first mate
 Literally every single thing
 A majestic merkin
 Nonexistent leotards
 Overwatch
 Practically nothing
 
 That's all I can do for now
 
 
 
 
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 2014 Dec 12 at 17:03 UTC
  
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 A bad case of poopbeard.
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 2014 Dec 19 at 07:37 UTC
  
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Nezumi 
Asshole Admin
  
  
2005 Mar 27 • 845 
175 ₧ 
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 lifting your kilt and winking
 
(Your/my/the distinctions can always be hard.  I'm like 75% sure that 'your' is the best option here)
 cinderblock justice
 
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 2014 Dec 23 at 07:50 UTC
 — Ed. 2014 Dec 25 at 01:12 UTC
  
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 Clown genitals
 Heavy juice
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 2014 Dec 25 at 01:41 UTC
  
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 Extra dirty martini (or Martin. You choose!)
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 2014 Dec 25 at 02:44 UTC
  
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 You special little fuck
 
 (Bad grammar but really funny to me an aaronjer right now)
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 2014 Dec 26 at 20:22 UTC
  
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 A bunch of vulvas in my face
 A naked Santa
 
 A social skill is any skill facilitating _ and _ with others.
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 2014 Dec 27 at 03:48 UTC
  
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Nezumi 
Asshole Admin
  
  
2005 Mar 27 • 845 
175 ₧ 
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 too much wiggling
 The world's fastest pump
 
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 2014 Dec 29 at 22:49 UTC
 — Ed. 2014 Dec 30 at 02:58 UTC
  
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 A carefully contained fart
 Holding your dick behind your back
 Bitches on the love throne
 Tits like a smoking chimney
 An angry penis for the woman
 An angry buttplug for the man
 
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 2014 Dec 31 at 07:58 UTC
 — Ed. 2014 Dec 31 at 08:44 UTC
  
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Crytax 
Ph. D in Cryonics
  
2006 Apr 26 • 751 
11 ₧ 
  | 
 Caressing a beautiful face
 
Superboat
 Fire Maidens of Outer Space
 Human Duplicators
 The Day the Earth Froze
 Invasion of the Neptune Men
 Space Mutiny
 Time Chasers
 Overdrawn at the Memory Bank
 The Phantom Planet
 The Pumaman
 The Deadly Bees
 A Deadly Bee
 The Space Children
 The Final Sacrifice
 A screaming skull
 A Girl in Gold Boots
 Merlin's Shop of Mystical Wonders
 Future War
 Track of the Moon Beast
 Final Justice
 Swamp Diamonds
 Secret Agent Super Dragon
 The Magic Voyage of Sinbad
 Operation Double 007 (A.K.A.: Operation Kid Brother)
 The Girl in Lovers Lane
 The Brain That Wouldn't Die
 Cosmic Princess
 A Humanoid Woman
 Blood Waters of Dr. Z
 Future War
 Merlin's Shop of Mystical Wonders
 Vitriolic word-salad
 Sock puppet sex
 Night of the Blood Beast
 The Chicken of Tomorrow
 Deathstalker and the Warriors from Hell
 The Incredible Melting Man
 Laserblast
 This Island Earth
 The Revenge of the Creature
 The Deadly Mantis
 The Thing That Couldn't Die
 Terror from the Year 5000
 A Teenage Werewolf
 The Giant Spider Invasion
 The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed-Up Zombies
 Riding with Death
 
What if Gillette WAS the best a man could get?
  
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 2014 Dec 31 at 22:41 UTC
  
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 _ is not horrible if a child is doing it. 
 
 Rubbing my gland
 
 The coal chute
 
 Thirst
 
 Being raped by a child
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 2015 Jan 1 at 06:39 UTC
  
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 Black card
 
 _____ is the new meta.
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 2015 Jan 1 at 07:30 UTC
  
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Nezumi 
Asshole Admin
  
  
2005 Mar 27 • 845 
175 ₧ 
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 I'm starting a new Aplaberth
 
Getting face pregnant from an alien
 A Zulu rite of passage ritual
 To be continued...
 
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 2015 Jan 2 at 04:32 UTC
 — Ed. 2015 Jan 2 at 04:56 UTC
  
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 You'll never guess what I have taped to my left breast: ______.
 
 Can someone get me some floss? There's _____ between my teeth.
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 2015 Jan 2 at 05:18 UTC
  
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 Liquid sex
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 2015 Jan 5 at 00:02 UTC
  
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Nezumi 
Asshole Admin
  
  
2005 Mar 27 • 845 
175 ₧ 
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 The new self-help fad: Better Living Through _!
 
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 2015 Jan 9 at 06:42 UTC
  
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 Easily impressed, strangely rich frogs.
 
 A child section.
 
 Becoming an adult.
 
 
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 2015 Jan 13 at 06:19 UTC
  
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NatureJay 
SJA: Commander of Ruthless Abuse
  
  
2005 Mar 23 • 1871 
574 ₧ 
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 Before we really get started, remember that my safe word is "___."
 
The rogue state has kidnapped scientists in the hopes of weaponizing ___.
 
100% natural, no antibiotics, and  bloodgrass-fed
  
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 2015 Jan 13 at 08:22 UTC
  
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 Peeing crabs
 
 Everywhere you go, ask yourself, "do I want to be _ here?"
 
 
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 2015 Jan 27 at 07:23 UTC
  
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NNirina 
*** BANNED *** 
2015 Jan 28 • 1 
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 2015 Jan 28 at 08:51 UTC
 — Ed. 2015 Feb 12 at 06:57 UTC
  
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 NNirina said: That's strange, I haven't seen anything funny. You're right though. 
What's your game, NNirina?  What's your gaaaaaame?
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 2015 Jan 28 at 19:16 UTC
 — Ed. 2015 Jan 28 at 19:16 UTC
  
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aaronjer 
*****'n Admin
  
  
2005 Mar 21 • 5176 
1,227 ₧ 
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 A disparate cloud of floaty sugar pubes
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 2015 Jan 30 at 07:44 UTC
  
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Crytax 
Ph. D in Cryonics
  
2006 Apr 26 • 751 
11 ₧ 
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 Opening a portal to the fucking moon!
 
What if Gillette WAS the best a man could get?
  
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 2015 Jan 31 at 04:54 UTC
  
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