SuperJer Against Humanity Suggestions: 3rd Strike

SuperJer Against Humanity Suggestions: 3rd Strike

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aaronjer
*****'n Admin

Comrade General 5-Star
2005 Mar 21 • 4790
1,227 ₧
Milk
?

There is a rumor that Marilyn Manson had milk removed so he could pleasure himself.
My kid was acting up, so I took away milk privileges.
Steve Jobs thought he could cure his cancer with milk, a naturopathic remedy.
Before you embark on a journey of revenge, consider milk.
My fiancee wants our wedding cake to have milk on the top.
Blue Whaling: the disturbing internet trend in which teens commit suicide by milk.

 
 
Jan 24 at 17:32 PST — Ed. Jan 24 at 17:37 PST
aaronjer
*****'n Admin

Comrade General 5-Star
2005 Mar 21 • 4790
1,227 ₧
A monster that eats your organs
n

Two best friends and an adorable alien take a road trip, and discover a monster that eats your organs along the way.
Jan Sobieski rode into battle atop a monster that eats your organs.
Turmoil at Samsung Corp: Several high-ranking employees fired for a monster that eats your organs.
The truly rich have huge mansions, and servants to take care of a monster that eats your organs.
Josh said, on the way in to work today, he swerved around a monster that eats your organs on the freeway.
My mom picked me up a monster that eats your organs from the thrift shop. It was the last one!

 
 
Jan 26 at 13:16 PST — Ed. Jan 26 at 13:17 PST
Nezumi
Asshole Admin

1-Up Medal
2005 Mar 26 • 714
175 ₧
That night at summer camp we never talk about
n

I misclicked while my boss was looking over my shoulder and my video of that night at summer camp we never talk about came on the screen.
Happiness: That night at summer camp we never talk about, a wiggly meat tube, and Lil Nas X’s family.
If Benjamin Franklin didn’t invent that night at summer camp we never talk about, certainly others would have.
Aron Ralston was trapped under that night at summer camp we never talk about for 5 days. He only survived by cutting off his arm.
Military scientists in Syria found traces of that night at summer camp we never talk about in the soil.
At LAX travelers were horrified to see that night at summer camp we never talk about spilling onto the baggage carousel, then one after another.

 
 
Jan 30 at 18:43 PST — Ed. Jan 30 at 18:47 PST
Nezumi
Asshole Admin

1-Up Medal
2005 Mar 26 • 714
175 ₧
A frosty popsicle
n

Don't you hate when you see a frosty popsicle in the carpool lane?
I checked my son’s browser history. Found links about a frosty popsicle. Should I talk to him?
Until quite recently, a frosty popsicle had the highest tensile strength of any substance known to man.
Music without the sounds of a frosty popsicle is hardly music at all.
I strongly believe that every scene of a movie should end with a frosty popsicle.
The rich aroma of a frosty popsicle, from the hills of Colombia.



A frosty fruit popsicle
n

At the Pirates of the Caribbean ride they replaced a frosty fruit popsicle with competitive masturbation.
During her performance, Miley Cyrus let fans touch a frosty fruit popsicle and her butthole.
The transferred sperm cells are kept in a frosty fruit popsicle, where they can remain viable for longer periods.
Opinions are like a frosty fruit popsicle. Everybody’s got one and they all stink.
I’m a frosty fruit popsicle today because tomorrow I’ll be too busy with girl problems.
In this 15th century painting, a frosty fruit popsicle is represented by a man with cheese for a head.

 
 
Jan 30 at 19:06 PST — Ed. Jan 30 at 19:45 PST
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 6441
Getting suspended for Holocaust comments
v

James Bond will return in “The Man With getting suspended for Holocaust comments”!
Populations of endangered rhinoceros are threatened by getting suspended for Holocaust comments.
I like getting suspended for Holocaust comments like I like my coffee: teaching Grandpa to make gravy.
Traditionally, vampires and other undead are repelled by getting suspended for Holocaust comments.
I clean my embarrasingly affectionate father by putting it in the dishwasher. It usually doesn’t end up getting suspended for Holocaust comments.
The Chinese government has blocked all websites related to getting suspended for Holocaust comments.

 
 
Feb 1 at 22:14 PST — Ed. Feb 1 at 22:15 PST
Nezumi
Asshole Admin

1-Up Medal
2005 Mar 26 • 714
175 ₧
The Connecticut Emo scene
n

At the carnival I went on the thing where you ride the Connecticut Emo scene.
Today I bought a soap bubble from the back of a van. They also threw in the Connecticut Emo scene, which I didn’t even think was legal.
An FBI raid on Michael Eisner’s seaside villa turned up the Connecticut Emo scene in every room.
The weirdest thing about the Connecticut Emo scene is that sometimes even girls have the Connecticut Emo scene.
Online trolls taught Microsoft’s teen girl AI to spew propaganda about the Connecticut Emo scene.
Every French soldier carries the Connecticut Emo scene in his knapsack.

 
 
Feb 3 at 11:07 PST
Nezumi
Asshole Admin

1-Up Medal
2005 Mar 26 • 714
175 ₧
A genetically engineered catdog
n

It’s important to pack the essentials when camping, such as water, first aid, a genetically engineered catdog, & toilet paper.
IBM’s new “green” office building gets 20% of its power from solar, and the eco-glass windows trap in a genetically engineered catdog.
In this 15th century painting, a genetically engineered catdog is represented by a man with cheese for a head.
The cineplex has been using a genetically engineered catdog in the popcorn machine because it’s cheaper than oil.
When I went into the bathroom I swear I saw a genetically engineered catdog in the mirror! I’m so scared!
The terrorists will execute a hostage every 20 minutes until they receive a genetically engineered catdog.

 
 
Feb 3 at 11:08 PST — Ed. Feb 3 at 11:08 PST
aaronjer
*****'n Admin

Comrade General 5-Star
2005 Mar 21 • 4790
1,227 ₧
A devastated urethra
n

How embarrassing! I forget I left a devastated urethra in the foyer.
The cineplex has been using a devastated urethra in the popcorn machine because it’s cheaper than oil.
Josh said, on the way in to work today, he swerved around a devastated urethra on the freeway.
Pundits agree it will take a devastated urethra for the senator to win the election.
A billboard on my way home had a picture of a devastated urethra and the words “adding alcohol”. I don’t get it!
After Lincoln was shot, a devastated urethra briefly became the next president.

 
 
Feb 3 at 15:44 PST — Ed. Feb 3 at 15:47 PST
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 6441
What daddy likes
nc

That new mmo is coming out next week and I’ve already reserved my name: xXwhat-daddy-likesXx
I can’t believe they used to churn what daddy likes into butter.
I don’t need love because I’m what daddy likes. Sorry mom!
No wonder Dad lost his money, he invested in what daddy likes!
Driving late at night, I was horrified to find what daddy likes in the back seat.
Are you there God? It’s me, what daddy likes.

 
 
Feb 4 at 16:57 PST
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 6441
Dog plasma
nc

I just dug up dog plasma in my backyard! I’m not sure whether to call the police or a museum!
The 7 deadly sins: lust, gluttony, dog plasma, sloth, wrath, my salvation, and pride.
I’m getting dog plasma installed in my car, so I can use it while I drive.
When I think South America, I feel dog plasma.
Stick out your tongue and say, “I was born on dog plasma.”
If you have a dream about school, it means you’re worried about dog plasma.

 
 
Feb 4 at 16:59 PST — Ed. Feb 4 at 17:00 PST
Nezumi
Asshole Admin

1-Up Medal
2005 Mar 26 • 714
175 ₧
The sun's powerful rays
n

I’ve made a mistake and the sun's powerful rays isn’t going to be the same. Sorry.
Cosmetic surgeons hate this! The sun's powerful rays can increase your breast size in three weeks!
The transferred sperm cells are kept in the sun's powerful rays, where they can remain viable for longer periods.
I will do anything for their own mothers. But I won’t do the sun's powerful rays!
The new Harley-Davidson has got the sun's powerful rays painted on both sides.
“You didn’t even get me anything for my birthday!” “Yes I did, remember the sun's powerful rays?”

 
 
Feb 6 at 02:45 PST — Ed. Feb 6 at 02:46 PST
aaronjer
*****'n Admin

Comrade General 5-Star
2005 Mar 21 • 4790
1,227 ₧
The launch codes
n

The school district had to pay a lot of hush money to parents after the “the launch codes” incident in the science lab.
If you do the launch codes right, all that matters is you have a good time.
Huge scandal this week as the PM of Australia was caught with the launch codes.
Are you there God? It’s me, the launch codes.
I think it’s lovely that you’re getting into the launch codes, but I won’t tell your father. He’ll disapprove.
The fire department came around and complained that we had too many electronics plugged into the launch codes.

 
 
Feb 7 at 17:16 PST
aaronjer
*****'n Admin

Comrade General 5-Star
2005 Mar 21 • 4790
1,227 ₧
Going out in a blaze of glory
v

Dwayne Johnson has a secret tattoo that reads, “going out in a blaze of glory,” with a picture of a dolphin.
I’m going out in a blaze of glory today because tomorrow I’ll be too busy with a strange candy that makes you gay.
Sometimes I feel out of place at the gym then I look to my left and see going out in a blaze of glory, and I feel better.
If it weren’t for me, you wouldn’t even be going out in a blaze of glory.
Deep Earth miners in Venezuela struck an enormous ore vein of thick oatmeal. Half the country is going out in a blaze of glory.
My house. 8 o’clock. Going out in a blaze of glory.

 
 
Feb 7 at 17:17 PST
aaronjer
*****'n Admin

Comrade General 5-Star
2005 Mar 21 • 4790
1,227 ₧
The torture chamber
n

Sometimes I feel out of place at the gym then I look to my left and see the torture chamber, and I feel better.
Everything I need to live on a desert island: The torture chamber.
The shockwave from the mishap at the fireworks factory shattered windows and caused the torture chamber in the streets.
Some anarchist made the sign over the expressway say “THE STATE IS THE TORTURE CHAMBER.”
All the best love stories include the torture chamber.
I prayed to God for the torture chamber, and God delivered!

 
 
Feb 7 at 17:20 PST
aaronjer
*****'n Admin

Comrade General 5-Star
2005 Mar 21 • 4790
1,227 ₧
My daddy stranglers
np

As an homage to humanity, NASA has broadcasted my daddy stranglers to the vastness of space.
I’m Captain Rogers the Rancorous of “My Daddy Stranglers,” the finest ship in the harbor!
You should come over. I’ve got lots of my daddy stranglers at my place.
Happiness: New rules from on high, my daddy stranglers, and rival anthills.
I looked up “the loudest possible noise” in Urban Dictionary, and apparently its an act involving my daddy stranglers.
I bought my daddy stranglers yesterday and now I can’t stop screaming again!

 
 
Feb 7 at 17:21 PST — Ed. Feb 7 at 17:21 PST
aaronjer
*****'n Admin

Comrade General 5-Star
2005 Mar 21 • 4790
1,227 ₧
Lasting psychological consequences
nc

When I was bodybuilding I foolishly tried to dead-lift lasting psychological consequences.
I’m NOT upgrading to the new iPhone now that Apple has announced it will have lasting psychological consequences.
Lasting psychological consequences is always a contest when I’m involved.
I strongly believe that every scene of a movie should end with lasting psychological consequences.
Come on down to Golden Corral™ for lasting psychological consequences.
On Ebay you can get lasting psychological consequences but it may be counterfeit.

 
 
Feb 7 at 17:23 PST
aaronjer
*****'n Admin

Comrade General 5-Star
2005 Mar 21 • 4790
1,227 ₧
A werewolf or the Hulk
n

My usual at Starbucks is a Grande Caramel A-werewolf-or-the-Hulk-iatto with whip and sprinkles.
Then God said, “Let there be a werewolf or the Hulk”; and there was a werewolf or the Hulk. And God saw that a werewolf or the Hulk was good.
The authorities followed the trail of a werewolf or the Hulk, leading them straight to the suspect.
It's like they always say: a werewolf or the Hulk never changes.
Let’s wait for Mom to fall asleep, then we can sneak out and get a werewolf or the Hulk.
After his weird, embarrassing defeat, the wrestler earned his nickname “a werewolf or the Hulk

 
 
Feb 7 at 17:24 PST
aaronjer
*****'n Admin

Comrade General 5-Star
2005 Mar 21 • 4790
1,227 ₧
Not being such a bitch
v

Ever since I got back from Mexico I’ve been really into not being such a bitch.
The name for Idaho was derived from a Shoshone language term meaning “not being such a bitch.”
Making the best chocolate chip cookies requires not being such a bitch.
A weird glitch in the Oculus Rift demo caused me to experience not being such a bitch like I was really there.
“Impossible,” said Pride. “Risky,” said Experience. “Give it a try,” whispered the Heart. That’s when I tried not being such a bitch.
Ever since the accident, I freeze in terror at the sight of not being such a bitch.

 
 
Feb 7 at 17:25 PST — Ed. Feb 7 at 17:25 PST
aaronjer
*****'n Admin

Comrade General 5-Star
2005 Mar 21 • 4790
1,227 ₧
Getting revenge on my stepmom
v

Daddy, what’s getting revenge on my stepmom? The kids at school say it about you and laugh.
Doctor, you’re a genius! No one has ever thought to use salt to treat getting revenge on my stepmom!
Sometimes I feel out of place at the gym then I look to my left and see getting revenge on my stepmom, and I feel better.
The school district had to pay a lot of hush money to parents after the “getting revenge on my stepmom” incident in the science lab.
Life without love is like getting revenge on my stepmom without fruit.
Today at school the teacher asked us “what we want to be when we grow up?” I responded: getting revenge on my stepmom!!!

 
 
Feb 7 at 17:26 PST
aaronjer
*****'n Admin

Comrade General 5-Star
2005 Mar 21 • 4790
1,227 ₧
A sudden hysterectomy
n

Making the best chocolate chip cookies requires a sudden hysterectomy.
James Bond will return in “The Man With a sudden hysterectomy”!
More armies need to incorporate a sudden hysterectomy into their uniforms.
Lonely guys in Japan can buy a sudden hysterectomy that sounds like a girl and will even go to bed with them.
A sudden hysterectomy has proven extremely popular among young, urban audiences in focus testing.
Don’t leave the door open! A sudden hysterectomy will get in.

 
 
Feb 7 at 17:28 PST
aaronjer
*****'n Admin

Comrade General 5-Star
2005 Mar 21 • 4790
1,227 ₧
His sexy scars
np

Let Martha host your next party, providing his sexy scars like you’ve never experienced before.
So I agree to go up to the apartment, where I find his sexy scars all lubed up, ready to go. Ew!
It’s important to pack the essentials when camping, such as water, first aid, his sexy scars, & toilet paper.
His-Sexy-Scars-a-Roni: the San Francisco treat!
Squad, circle up. It’s time to talk his sexy scars.
I think it’s lovely that you’re getting into his sexy scars, but I won’t tell your father. He’ll disapprove.

 
 
Feb 7 at 17:30 PST — Ed. Feb 7 at 17:30 PST
aaronjer
*****'n Admin

Comrade General 5-Star
2005 Mar 21 • 4790
1,227 ₧
Generally a pretty nice guy
n

The referee just issued a red card to my sister for sliding into generally a pretty nice guy.
I was vacuuming when I sucked generally a pretty nice guy out from under the couch.
Cambodia’s economy is entirely dependent on generally a pretty nice guy.
Apparently, “Generally a Pretty Nice Guy” is a dance move in the Hip-Hop and B-Boy community.
Generally a pretty nice guy saved is generally a pretty nice guy earned.
Everything I need to live on a desert island: Generally a pretty nice guy.

 
 
Feb 7 at 17:32 PST
aaronjer
*****'n Admin

Comrade General 5-Star
2005 Mar 21 • 4790
1,227 ₧
An actual 1-up that really works
n

Experts said that based on preliminary data, an actual 1-up that really works appears to have occurred on the Puente Hills thrust fault.
There is no “I” in “team” but there is an “I” in “an actual 1-up that really works”.
The city council wants to cut down on an actual 1-up that really works after 8pm.
The city put in new road signs to indicate an actual 1-up that really works just up ahead.
I accidentally dropped an actual 1-up that really works in the urinal at the Jeep dealership.
It’s huge. It’s wet. It’s sprawled out in the parking lot. It’s an actual 1-up that really works.

 
 
Feb 7 at 17:33 PST
Nezumi
Asshole Admin

1-Up Medal
2005 Mar 26 • 714
175 ₧
Here's my sex gymnasium. I don't use it much, but I do keep   in here.

Here's my sex gymnasium. I don't use it much, but I do keep several clones of hitler in here.
Here's my sex gymnasium. I don't use it much, but I do keep a cat in a paper bag in here.
Here's my sex gymnasium. I don't use it much, but I do keep a urinal cake in here.
Here's my sex gymnasium. I don't use it much, but I do keep spreading disease in here.
Here's my sex gymnasium. I don't use it much, but I do keep dope in here.
Here's my sex gymnasium. I don't use it much, but I do keep a gold ingot in here.

 
 
Feb 16 at 00:58 PST — Ed. Feb 16 at 01:07 PST
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 6441
Sexily dodging bullets
v

You can’t keep running around like sexily dodging bullets, you’re going to put an eye out!
My religion demands that I must abstain from sexily dodging bullets.
I will do anything for sexily dodging bullets. But I won’t do that!
The 7 deadly sins: lust, gluttony, sexily dodging bullets, sloth, wrath, smashing skulls, and pride.
Our secret society is dedicated sexily dodging bullets.
The Answer to the Ultimate Question of Life, the Universe and Everything: sexily dodging bullets.

 
 
Feb 16 at 02:37 PST
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