SuperJer Against Humanity Suggestions: 3rd Strike

SuperJer Against Humanity Suggestions: 3rd Strike

General — Page 1 2 3 ... 41 42 43 [44] 45 46 47 ... 51 52 53
Crytax
Ph. D in Cryonics

2006 Apr 26 • 675
11 ₧
Well, it looks like I'm   again tonight!

Well, it looks like I'm more legs again tonight!
Well, it looks like I'm being carted away again tonight!
Well, it looks like I'm furiously caressing each other again tonight!
Well, it looks like I'm black leggings again tonight!
Well, it looks like I'm high-voltage wires again tonight!
Well, it looks like I'm machine gun fire again tonight!

What if Gillette WAS the best a man could get?
 
 
Jul 19 at 10:04 PDT
Crytax
Ph. D in Cryonics

2006 Apr 26 • 675
11 ₧
Boxing the clown
v

Can you call poison control? My daughter just swallowed boxing the clown.
My brother and I started a business boxing the clown, since we’re so good at it.
If you do boxing the clown right, all that matters is you have a good time.
John “dryness problems” Smith. The genius who brought us boxing the clown.
At Home Depot they have this new all-in-one tool that’s shaped like a rake for boxing the clown.
The new bill before congress would require boxing the clown in all K-through-12 classrooms.

What if Gillette WAS the best a man could get?
 
 
Jul 19 at 10:04 PDT
Crytax
Ph. D in Cryonics

2006 Apr 26 • 675
11 ₧
A very odd, synthesizer-like squawk
n

The N64 was Nintendo’s first console with a very odd, synthesizer-like squawk.
Howdy neighbor, love your azalea bush! Let’s get a very odd, synthesizer-like squawk sometime!
Easy Mac is good, but the white cheddar one kinda tastes like a very odd, synthesizer-like squawk.
The FBI is at the door. I think they're here because of... you know... a very odd, synthesizer-like squawk.
On Ebay you can get a very odd, synthesizer-like squawk but it may be counterfeit.
Kinect automatically recognizes when you’re a very odd, synthesizer-like squawk and turns itself on to broadcast it to your friends.

What if Gillette WAS the best a man could get?
 
 
Jul 19 at 10:05 PDT
Crytax
Ph. D in Cryonics

2006 Apr 26 • 675
11 ₧
Deathstalker and the Warriors from Hell
np

Opinions are like Deathstalker and the Warriors from Hell. Everybody’s got one and they all stink.
I don’t give money to the homeless. Instead I provide Deathstalker and the Warriors from Hell directly.
The city council wants to cut down on Deathstalker and the Warriors from Hell after 8pm.
In the end, the obvious plot twist was that the serial killer was actually Deathstalker and the Warriors from Hell.
Deathstalker and the Warriors from Hell is known to the state of California to cause cancer.
Last night I dreamed of Deathstalker and the Warriors from Hell. Now I’m really tired.

What if Gillette WAS the best a man could get?
 
 
Jul 19 at 10:24 PDT
Crytax
Ph. D in Cryonics

2006 Apr 26 • 675
11 ₧
A very 80's style haircut
n

In the iconic opening to Back to the Future, Marty McFly was a very 80's style haircut after hooking up his electric guitar and strumming.
Bumper sticker: My other ride is a very 80's style haircut.
It has been prophesized that the young king will eventually be killed by a very 80's style haircut.
You spent all your food-stamps on a very 80's style haircut?!
The Japanese insist on their traditional right to hunt a very 80's style haircut in the sea.
If it weren’t for me, you wouldn’t even be a very 80's style haircut.

What if Gillette WAS the best a man could get?
 
 
Jul 19 at 10:38 PDT
Crytax
Ph. D in Cryonics

2006 Apr 26 • 675
11 ₧
Fighting bravely for a vague goal
v

I checked my son’s browser history. Found links about fighting bravely for a vague goal. Should I talk to him?
Daddy, what’s fighting bravely for a vague goal? The kids at school say it about you and laugh.
They said fighting bravely for a vague goal was out of my league, but look at me now! I’m the king of fighting bravely for a vague goal!
The children in this wing of the hospital are here because of fighting bravely for a vague goal.
I had a really good childhood up until I was nine, then fighting bravely for a vague goal really affected me.
Someone get Michael! His girlfriend is drunk, up on the table, and she’s fighting bravely for a vague goal.

What if Gillette WAS the best a man could get?
 
 
Jul 19 at 10:40 PDT
Crytax
Ph. D in Cryonics

2006 Apr 26 • 675
11 ₧
Our long national nightmare
nc

There is a rumor that Marilyn Manson had our long national nightmare removed so he could pleasure himself.
My life coach told me that to maximise my positive energy flow, I should get our long national nightmare.
This year’s hottest album is “Our Long National Nightmare” by A Little Sumthin Sumthin.
Senator, give me our long national nightmare and you’ll get my vote.
As the A.I. robot gained self-awareness, it immediately began our long national nightmare.
Dwayne Johnson has a secret tattoo that reads, “our long national nightmare,” with a picture of a dolphin.

What if Gillette WAS the best a man could get?
 
 
Jul 19 at 10:42 PDT
Crytax
Ph. D in Cryonics

2006 Apr 26 • 675
11 ₧
Do you have any idea of what kind of people you're dealing with? They're  !

Do you have any idea of what kind of people you're dealing with? They're a pill for every problem!
Do you have any idea of what kind of people you're dealing with? They're neglecting a spike!
Do you have any idea of what kind of people you're dealing with? They're drinking wine in the tub all day!
Do you have any idea of what kind of people you're dealing with? They're a 5,000 acre forest fire!
Do you have any idea of what kind of people you're dealing with? They're lying on the floor, cheering!
Do you have any idea of what kind of people you're dealing with? They're Mr. President!

What if Gillette WAS the best a man could get?
 
 
Jul 19 at 10:46 PDT
Crytax
Ph. D in Cryonics

2006 Apr 26 • 675
11 ₧
Saskatchewan truckers
nc

I want to say one word to you, just one word: Saskatchewan truckers.
Ben and Jerry is going off the deep end with their new flavors: Saskatchewan Truckers flavor? Spike Traps flavor?!
I go to Hooters, yeah, but only for Saskatchewan truckers!
1) A robot may not injure Saskatchewan truckers, or through inaction allow Saskatchewan truckers to come to harm.
Saskatchewan truckers is the only way to say goodbye.
Opioids help people with Saskatchewan truckers, but then they can’t poop.

What if Gillette WAS the best a man could get?
 
 
Jul 19 at 10:47 PDT — Ed. Jul 19 at 10:48 PDT
Crytax
Ph. D in Cryonics

2006 Apr 26 • 675
11 ₧
A mob of townspeople surrounded my house, chanting " !"

A mob of townspeople surrounded my house, chanting "a loaded gun!"
A mob of townspeople surrounded my house, chanting "escaping!"
A mob of townspeople surrounded my house, chanting "a gut!"
A mob of townspeople surrounded my house, chanting "going to Wendy’s!"
A mob of townspeople surrounded my house, chanting "my daughter!"
A mob of townspeople surrounded my house, chanting "a dick out!"

What if Gillette WAS the best a man could get?
 
 
Jul 19 at 11:44 PDT
Crytax
Ph. D in Cryonics

2006 Apr 26 • 675
11 ₧
Outrunning the cultists' van on my bike
v

Kraft Foods has announced that it will phase out the use of outrunning the cultists' van on my bike in its food processing operations.
Are you there God? It’s me, outrunning the cultists' van on my bike.
A Russian couple taught a bear how to be outrunning the cultists' van on my bike.
The new intern is starting this week. Can you set up her workstation for outrunning the cultists' van on my bike?
SWF looking for a real man. If you’re outrunning the cultists' van on my bike, get to the front of the line.
The letters on a modern keyboard come from typewriters, which were arranged by outrunning the cultists' van on my bike.

What if Gillette WAS the best a man could get?
 
 
Jul 19 at 11:47 PDT
Crytax
Ph. D in Cryonics

2006 Apr 26 • 675
11 ₧
Scantily clad women dancing
vt

This workplace has gone (0) days without scantily clad women dancing.
The Suez Canal has been completely blocked by scantily clad women dancing, costing billions of dollars.
Men, like Taco Bell®, go farthest when they are scantily clad women dancing.
I heard you were talking about scantily clad women dancing so I had to come over!
The number one issue for voters is the economy, followed by scantily clad women dancing and healthcare.
It’s important to pack the essentials when camping, such as water, first aid, scantily clad women dancing, & toilet paper.

What if Gillette WAS the best a man could get?
 
 
Jul 19 at 11:50 PDT
Crytax
Ph. D in Cryonics

2006 Apr 26 • 675
11 ₧
Excuse me, young man. Can I get " "?

Excuse me, young man. Can I get "my embarrasingly affectionate father"?
Excuse me, young man. Can I get "a crazed Eskimo"?
Excuse me, young man. Can I get "nutters running around with chainsaws"?
Excuse me, young man. Can I get "a stiff upper lip"?
Excuse me, young man. Can I get "a short muscular rectum"?
Excuse me, young man. Can I get "funds"?

What if Gillette WAS the best a man could get?
 
 
Jul 19 at 12:34 PDT
Crytax
Ph. D in Cryonics

2006 Apr 26 • 675
11 ₧
A homeless man being attacked and eaten by a dinosaur
v

The government says chemtrails from planes are just condensation. But we know they’re a homeless man being attacked and eaten by a dinosaur!
Bumper sticker: My other ride is a homeless man being attacked and eaten by a dinosaur.
I will do anything for a homeless man being attacked and eaten by a dinosaur. But I won’t do another way to kill me!
We can be a homeless man being attacked and eaten by a dinosaur. And no one has to know.
I couldn’t sleep. I’m too anxious about a homeless man being attacked and eaten by a dinosaur tomorrow.
The problem with America is a homeless man being attacked and eaten by a dinosaur.

What if Gillette WAS the best a man could get?
 
 
Jul 19 at 12:37 PDT — Ed. Jul 19 at 12:37 PDT
Crytax
Ph. D in Cryonics

2006 Apr 26 • 675
11 ₧
A midget Tyrannosaurus Rex
n

Every time I go to Costco I feel like I come back with a midget Tyrannosaurus Rex.
Art can be defined by a midget Tyrannosaurus Rex but only if it gets you quick-set cement and inspired.
They didn’t have a midget Tyrannosaurus Rex at the animal shelter, so the 5-day old puppy had to be fed regular kibble.
Are you there God? It’s me, a midget Tyrannosaurus Rex.
Wolves don’t eat a midget Tyrannosaurus Rex, and neither should kings.
So I agree to go up to the apartment, where I find a midget Tyrannosaurus Rex all lubed up, ready to go. Ew!

What if Gillette WAS the best a man could get?
 
 
Jul 19 at 12:47 PDT
Crytax
Ph. D in Cryonics

2006 Apr 26 • 675
11 ₧
Obviously empty cardboard boxes
np

I reached expectantly into an elite Korean hacker, but found only obviously empty cardboard boxes.
In Kentucky, stores can’t sell alcohol on holidays like Obviously Empty Cardboard Boxes Day.
I heard you can rent a friend in Tokyo, but only if one of you is obviously empty cardboard boxes.
I’m Captain Rogers the Rancorous of “Obviously Empty Cardboard Boxes,” the finest ship in the harbor!
Let Martha host your next party, providing obviously empty cardboard boxes like you’ve never experienced before.
They cut open the crocodile to find obviously empty cardboard boxes, still doing it RIGHT this time! like always.

What if Gillette WAS the best a man could get?
 
 
Jul 19 at 12:47 PDT
Crytax
Ph. D in Cryonics

2006 Apr 26 • 675
11 ₧
 , shipped anywhere overnight!

baseless hatred, shipped anywhere overnight!
the key to my heart, shipped anywhere overnight!
a cat in a cardboard box, shipped anywhere overnight!
mandibles, shipped anywhere overnight!
$20 worth of pot, shipped anywhere overnight!
booze, shipped anywhere overnight!

What if Gillette WAS the best a man could get?
 
 
Jul 19 at 12:50 PDT
Crytax
Ph. D in Cryonics

2006 Apr 26 • 675
11 ₧
A tall Spaniard in a white suit with a midget
n

The Answer to the Ultimate Question of Life, the Universe and Everything: a tall Spaniard in a white suit with a midget.
Man invented the alpha male, so woman invented a tall Spaniard in a white suit with a midget.
President Reagan and his entire cabinet got a tall Spaniard in a white suit with a midget before every meeting.
Honey, you can’t keep putting a tall Spaniard in a white suit with a midget down the garbage disposal!
I picked up a hitchhiker and he showed me a tall Spaniard in a white suit with a midget while we were still in the car.
My school is throwing a tall Spaniard in a white suit with a midget party this weekend. I don’t really want to go...

What if Gillette WAS the best a man could get?
 
 
Jul 19 at 14:00 PDT
Crytax
Ph. D in Cryonics

2006 Apr 26 • 675
11 ₧
Women in bikinis shaking it all over the place
n

The cruiseliner struck women in bikinis shaking it all over the place and lost power, leaving hundreds of vacationers stranded.
Look, man, I’m not into women in bikinis shaking it all over the place. But $20 is $20.
No wonder Dad lost his money, he invested in women in bikinis shaking it all over the place!
McDonald’s combo menu #3: Double Quarter Pounder with Cheese, a large Coke, and a side of women in bikinis shaking it all over the place.
Today’s baseball game was called off when an irate fan threw women in bikinis shaking it all over the place at a player from the stands.
So I go over and I open the door and just as I suspected. It’s women in bikinis shaking it all over the place.

What if Gillette WAS the best a man could get?
 
 
Jul 19 at 16:52 PDT
Crytax
Ph. D in Cryonics

2006 Apr 26 • 675
11 ₧
A humanoid woman
n

I can’t believe they used to churn a humanoid woman into butter.
The new intern is starting this week. Can you set up her workstation for a humanoid woman?
I actually clicked page 2 on Google cuz I was so desperate searching for a humanoid woman.
I buried my treasure under a humanoid woman so you’d never find it!
I thought I just had gas, but it came out as a humanoid woman.
Welcome to Denny’s®! Would you like to try our new special, a humanoid woman?

What if Gillette WAS the best a man could get?
 
 
Jul 20 at 10:30 PDT
Crytax
Ph. D in Cryonics

2006 Apr 26 • 675
11 ₧
The part of the plane that falls off first
n

For Farm Day at my school we had a haystack to search through and find the part of the plane that falls off first.
I love your necklace! It’s the part of the plane that falls off first, right?
Don’t look at me while I’m the part of the plane that falls off first! It messes me up!
My religion demands that I must abstain from the part of the plane that falls off first.
Tomorrow the city is throwing a ticker-tape to celebrate the part of the plane that falls off first.
Sometimes I wish I could just lock the gays and the part of the plane that falls off first in a room and let ‘em fight it out.

What if Gillette WAS the best a man could get?
 
 
Jul 20 at 10:31 PDT
Crytax
Ph. D in Cryonics

2006 Apr 26 • 675
11 ₧
When looking out the window of Apollo 11, Neil Armstrong saw a sight that very few had ever seen:  .

When looking out the window of Apollo 11, Neil Armstrong saw a sight that very few had ever seen: an enhanced interrogation.
When looking out the window of Apollo 11, Neil Armstrong saw a sight that very few had ever seen: beating up Dracula.
When looking out the window of Apollo 11, Neil Armstrong saw a sight that very few had ever seen: crotch rot.
When looking out the window of Apollo 11, Neil Armstrong saw a sight that very few had ever seen: a cold hearted assassin.
When looking out the window of Apollo 11, Neil Armstrong saw a sight that very few had ever seen: the tickle zone.
When looking out the window of Apollo 11, Neil Armstrong saw a sight that very few had ever seen: not knowing or caring why.

What if Gillette WAS the best a man could get?
 
 
Jul 20 at 10:52 PDT — Ed. Jul 20 at 10:52 PDT
Crytax
Ph. D in Cryonics

2006 Apr 26 • 675
11 ₧
An oncoming plane
n

The doctor held up my x-ray and I could just make out an oncoming plane.
At BASF we don’t make an oncoming plane. We make an oncoming plane better.
The terrorists will execute a hostage every 20 minutes until they receive an oncoming plane.
My dream house has a dispensor for an oncoming plane built in.
Dude! Her dress was so sheer I could see an oncoming plane!
No more an oncoming plane at Starbucks.

What if Gillette WAS the best a man could get?
 
 
Jul 20 at 10:53 PDT
Crytax
Ph. D in Cryonics

2006 Apr 26 • 675
11 ₧
Being completely on fire
v

The Chinese government has blocked all websites related to being completely on fire.
Being completely on fire while driving has been statistically shown to increase the risk of an accident.
James Bond will return in “The Man With being completely on fire”!
As one, the entire U.N. assembly rose to their feet, and slowly, solemnly, began being completely on fire.
It’s huge. It’s wet. It’s sprawled out in the parking lot. It’s being completely on fire.
A lifetime of being completely on fire awaits. Call now for a free consultation.

What if Gillette WAS the best a man could get?
 
 
Jul 20 at 10:54 PDT
Crytax
Ph. D in Cryonics

2006 Apr 26 • 675
11 ₧
  and  : a combination that just can't be beat!
Play 2

a fanny pack full of rice and just plain racism: a combination that just can't be beat!
my toucan, going crazy and coming from the same hole: a combination that just can't be beat!
an angry buttplug for the man and a mafia hitman: a combination that just can't be beat!
boiling water and almost enough oxygen: a combination that just can't be beat!
high-voltage wires and nitro-boosted performance: a combination that just can't be beat!
intersex children and a short muscular rectum: a combination that just can't be beat!

What if Gillette WAS the best a man could get?
 
 
Jul 20 at 10:55 PDT — Ed. Jul 20 at 10:56 PDT