SuperJer Against Humanity Suggestions: 3rd Strike

SuperJer Against Humanity Suggestions: 3rd Strike

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todays_wet_sin
websiteman husband
2016 Apr 30 • 113
Dangly bracelets
np

My teacher graded my paper F because I wrote about dangly bracelets.
Dangly bracelets in the hand is worth two in the bush.
I couldn’t see the eclipse because of dangly bracelets in the sky.
In future times, the children will work together to build dangly bracelets.
According to the Senate, the Internet is a series of dangly bracelets.
If mom hears us talking about dangly bracelets we’ll be SO grounded!

Creamed Korn
 
 
Jul 11 at 16:52 PDT — Ed. Jul 11 at 16:55 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 6507
A computer virus
n

Always makes me hungry when I see the butcher shop with a computer virus hanging in the window.
In prison we used to cook a computer virus in the toilet.
A computer virus is the only way to say goodbye.
The ‘victory or death moth’ has adapted to feed on garbage, and hide under a computer virus in cities to spin its cocoon.
Everything I need to live on a desert island: A computer virus.
Factory workers at Foxconn who leap out of windows will now be saved by a computer virus around the building.

 
 
Jul 11 at 17:08 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 6507
The archaeologists dug up  {n} at Stonehenge!

The archaeologists dug up a powerful skeleton, William Howard Taft at Stonehenge!
The archaeologists dug up two VCRs at Stonehenge!
The archaeologists dug up total collapse at Stonehenge!
The archaeologists dug up a molecule at Stonehenge!
The archaeologists dug up Jesus Christ at Stonehenge!
The archaeologists dug up some emo kid at Stonehenge!

 
 
Jul 11 at 17:09 PDT — Ed. Jul 11 at 17:11 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 6507
Escaping Sodom, Lot's wife looked back and God turned her into  {n}.

Escaping Sodom, Lot's wife looked back and God turned her into ointment.
Escaping Sodom, Lot's wife looked back and God turned her into shame.
Escaping Sodom, Lot's wife looked back and God turned her into unbearable bitching.
Escaping Sodom, Lot's wife looked back and God turned her into unladylike musculature.
Escaping Sodom, Lot's wife looked back and God turned her into earwax.
Escaping Sodom, Lot's wife looked back and God turned her into “that feeling”.

 
 
Jul 11 at 17:16 PDT
Crytax
Ph. D in Cryonics

2006 Apr 26 • 675
11 ₧
If I have to be honest, I’ve often fantasized about  .

If I have to be honest, I’ve often fantasized about several clones of hitler.
If I have to be honest, I’ve often fantasized about lips.
If I have to be honest, I’ve often fantasized about five full-time chefs.
If I have to be honest, I’ve often fantasized about putting my mouth on it.
If I have to be honest, I’ve often fantasized about standing in line at Costco.
If I have to be honest, I’ve often fantasized about the savory gels of her lust.

What if Gillette WAS the best a man could get?
 
 
Jul 11 at 18:12 PDT
Crytax
Ph. D in Cryonics

2006 Apr 26 • 675
11 ₧
Machinegunning the staff of Charlie Hebdo
v

I’m a fridge full of heads today because tomorrow I’ll be too busy with machinegunning the staff of Charlie Hebdo.
Senator, give me machinegunning the staff of Charlie Hebdo and you’ll get my vote.
R Kelly fantasizes about machinegunning the staff of Charlie Hebdo with a young Beyonce.
I feel like I’m being punished for machinegunning the staff of Charlie Hebdo.
My financial analyst has advised me to invest my fortune in machinegunning the staff of Charlie Hebdo.
Machinegunning the staff of Charlie Hebdo is legally grounds for divorcing your wife in 28 states.

What if Gillette WAS the best a man could get?
 
 
Jul 11 at 18:13 PDT
Crytax
Ph. D in Cryonics

2006 Apr 26 • 675
11 ₧
My no-consequences power fantasy involves  .

My no-consequences power fantasy involves adding alcohol.
My no-consequences power fantasy involves being a bitch.
My no-consequences power fantasy involves the center of the earth.
My no-consequences power fantasy involves pretty girls getting killed.
My no-consequences power fantasy involves dark magic.
My no-consequences power fantasy involves godless heathens.

What if Gillette WAS the best a man could get?
 
 
Jul 11 at 18:18 PDT
Crytax
Ph. D in Cryonics

2006 Apr 26 • 675
11 ₧
Being able to help everyone
v

Thank you ladies and gentlemen! For my next performance art piece, I will be being able to help everyone.
I can’t believe it, Jason! I’ve been gone for 24 hours and you’re still being able to help everyone!
My daughter came home crying because the kids at school said she was being able to help everyone.
Disneyland has a zero-tolerance policy for being able to help everyone.
Being able to help everyone is the only way to say goodbye.
I looked up “a suitcase full of guns and money” in Urban Dictionary, and apparently its an act involving being able to help everyone.

What if Gillette WAS the best a man could get?
 
 
Jul 11 at 18:18 PDT — Ed. Jul 11 at 18:19 PDT
Crytax
Ph. D in Cryonics

2006 Apr 26 • 675
11 ₧
A goth GF with a Dump Truck
nc

That new mmo is coming out next week and I’ve already reserved my name: xXa-goth-GF-with-a-Dump-TruckXx
Don’t you hate the feeling of putting on fresh socks and stepping in a puddle of a goth GF with a Dump Truck?
I will do anything for tickling Al Pacino. But I won’t do a goth GF with a Dump Truck!
Aron Ralston was trapped under a goth GF with a Dump Truck for 5 days. He only survived by cutting off his arm.
I think a lot of people would pay to see a goth GF with a Dump Truck.
The Pentagon’s most secure room is for a goth GF with a Dump Truck.

What if Gillette WAS the best a man could get?
 
 
Jul 11 at 21:33 PDT
Crytax
Ph. D in Cryonics

2006 Apr 26 • 675
11 ₧
Getting robbed at a sleepover
v

So I go over and I open the door and just as I suspected. It’s getting robbed at a sleepover.
While I was out the Roomba got into thick oatmeal and was getting robbed at a sleepover.
For my project I’m making panicking in a Subaru. But I need to see if they have getting robbed at a sleepover at the craft store.
Kim Jong-un’s Central Luxury Mansion has a wing for getting robbed at a sleepover.
Don Quixote, having never seen a windmill before, instantly assumed it was getting robbed at a sleepover and tried to attack it.
My life coach told me that to maximise my positive energy flow, I should get getting robbed at a sleepover.

What if Gillette WAS the best a man could get?
 
 
Jul 11 at 21:35 PDT
Crytax
Ph. D in Cryonics

2006 Apr 26 • 675
11 ₧
A high-quality horizontally spinning rat
n

My religion demands that I must abstain from a high-quality horizontally spinning rat.
They cut open the crocodile to find a high-quality horizontally spinning rat, still seeing my penis twice like always.
The new Ford F-750 with more torque than a high-quality horizontally spinning rat.
We finally hired a guy at work to take care of a high-quality horizontally spinning rat.
The new Fallout DLC will allow you to recruit a short muscular rectum and acquire a high-quality horizontally spinning rat!
I think a lot of people would pay to see a high-quality horizontally spinning rat.

What if Gillette WAS the best a man could get?
 
 
Jul 11 at 21:36 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 6507
At the buffet, all Dad got was  {n}, and he just picked at it.

At the buffet, all Dad got was the stillness of death, and he just picked at it.
At the buffet, all Dad got was this asshole, and he just picked at it.
At the buffet, all Dad got was my sex tape, and he just picked at it.
At the buffet, all Dad got was nut sack hairs, and he just picked at it.
At the buffet, all Dad got was a Steam update, and he just picked at it.
At the buffet, all Dad got was a gushing bloody nose, and he just picked at it.


 
 
Jul 12 at 10:05 PDT — Ed. Jul 12 at 11:34 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 6507
Being completely eviscerated
v

Those hoodlums graffitied being completely eviscerated on my mailbox again.
Doctor! My child has being completely eviscerated coursing through his veins!
My chameleon turns purple whenever I’m being completely eviscerated.
The city council wants to cut down on being completely eviscerated after 8pm.
Donald Trump’s first act as president was to outlaw being completely eviscerated.
It wasn’t in the movie, but they had a lot of being completely eviscerated on the Titanic.

 
 
Jul 12 at 14:04 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 6507
More volume
nc

Welcome to Denny’s®! Would you like to try our new special, more volume?
Ha! You activated my trap card, you’re cursed with more volume until the end of the game!
It's like they always say: more volume never changes.
Peter Molyneux’s new game will use facial recognition to explore more volume in a very realistic way.
More volume from the Ohio county fair to be destroyed due to infection.
More-Volume-a-Roni: the San Francisco treat!

 
 
Jul 12 at 14:05 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 6507
A canoe full of scorpions
n

You know you have a strong relationship when you can share in a canoe full of scorpions together.
Working on my car I found a canoe full of scorpions had crawled inside the engine block and died.
The dog ate black market lungs so we’re waiting for a canoe full of scorpions.
For Farm Day at my school we had a haystack to search through and find a canoe full of scorpions.
Furious that I was pissing into his spellbook, the sorcerer turned me into a canoe full of scorpions.
I get chills when a canoe full of scorpions brushes against my leg.

 
 
Jul 12 at 14:05 PDT — Ed. Jul 12 at 14:07 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 6507
Being
v

In school we’re learning about the beginning of the Civil War: The Battle of Being.
Someone get Michael! His girlfriend is drunk, up on the table, and she’s being.
Being is bad for your car’s engine.
Ever since I got back from Mexico I’ve been really into being.
I have to visit my uncle for Christmas. He’s always bein’ all being when he drinks egg nog. It’s so weird!
Apparently, “Being” is a dance move in the Hip-Hop and B-Boy community.



Just being
v

I refuse to roleplay as anything but just being.
I’ve made a mistake and just being isn’t going to be the same. Sorry.
Chimps in the wild have been observed using just being to forage for food.
My wife printed me a certifcate for just being. I’m excited for tonight!
Trolls tricked Microsoft’s teen girl AI, Tay, into making offensive remarks about just being.
Sometimes, when I’m feeling naughty, I start being in a state of total ecstasy before just being.

 
 
Jul 12 at 14:08 PDT — Ed. Jul 14 at 14:47 PDT
Crytax
Ph. D in Cryonics

2006 Apr 26 • 675
11 ₧
Waging people's war against the NSA
v

What separates the winners from the losers is how a person reacts to waging people's war against the NSA.
No one in Morocco can be waging people's war against the NSA without registering with the government.
For my project I’m making waging people's war against the NSA. But I need to see if they have big dudes with big dudes at the craft store.
The only thing we could all agree on for a pizza topping: waging people's war against the NSA.
Waging people's war against the NSA like this is enough to kill a horse!
In the iconic opening to Back to the Future, Marty McFly was waging people's war against the NSA after hooking up his electric guitar and strumming.

What if Gillette WAS the best a man could get?
 
 
Jul 12 at 18:38 PDT
Crytax
Ph. D in Cryonics

2006 Apr 26 • 675
11 ₧
I want to say at the outset that, contrary to rumor and certain newspaper headlines, I'm not  .

I want to say at the outset that, contrary to rumor and certain newspaper headlines, I'm not mighty Zeus.
I want to say at the outset that, contrary to rumor and certain newspaper headlines, I'm not being fucking dead.
I want to say at the outset that, contrary to rumor and certain newspaper headlines, I'm not the working man.
I want to say at the outset that, contrary to rumor and certain newspaper headlines, I'm not only my index finger.
I want to say at the outset that, contrary to rumor and certain newspaper headlines, I'm not John Travolta crying, as a woman.
I want to say at the outset that, contrary to rumor and certain newspaper headlines, I'm not following your boner around the room.

What if Gillette WAS the best a man could get?
 
 
Jul 12 at 18:39 PDT — Ed. Jul 12 at 18:39 PDT
Crytax
Ph. D in Cryonics

2006 Apr 26 • 675
11 ₧
I took a Rorschach test and saw  . I think that means I’m  .
Play 2

I took a Rorschach test and saw Princess Perfect. I think that means I’m circumcising your dad.
I took a Rorschach test and saw sad people doing sad things for their sad lives. I think that means I’m an ancient Indian burial ground.
I took a Rorschach test and saw a garbage truck. I think that means I’m every pterodactyl.
I took a Rorschach test and saw taffy. I think that means I’m prey.
I took a Rorschach test and saw stainless steel plating. I think that means I’m a long rambling story.
I took a Rorschach test and saw a little sumthin sumthin. I think that means I’m getting infected.

What if Gillette WAS the best a man could get?
 
 
Jul 12 at 18:40 PDT
Crytax
Ph. D in Cryonics

2006 Apr 26 • 675
11 ₧
I'm probably  —not something I've often thought of.

I'm probably cuddling—not something I've often thought of.
I'm probably kissing ass—not something I've often thought of.
I'm probably getting HUGE—not something I've often thought of.
I'm probably a respected neurosurgeon—not something I've often thought of.
I'm probably control of the English Channel—not something I've often thought of.
I'm probably a pipe bomb—not something I've often thought of.

What if Gillette WAS the best a man could get?
 
 
Jul 12 at 18:41 PDT — Ed. Jul 12 at 18:41 PDT
Crytax
Ph. D in Cryonics

2006 Apr 26 • 675
11 ₧
 : a new fad among teenaggers.

having peed: a new fad among teenaggers.
my haunted butthole: a new fad among teenaggers.
hindquarters: a new fad among teenaggers.
murdering: a new fad among teenaggers.
mah runnin’ legs: a new fad among teenaggers.
turkey gravy: a new fad among teenaggers.

What if Gillette WAS the best a man could get?
 
 
Jul 12 at 18:42 PDT — Ed. Jul 12 at 18:42 PDT
Crytax
Ph. D in Cryonics

2006 Apr 26 • 675
11 ₧
An ordinary trapeze accident
n

Don’t look at me while I’m an ordinary trapeze accident! It messes me up!
Factory workers at Foxconn who leap out of windows will now be saved by an ordinary trapeze accident around the building.
My dream house has a dispensor for an ordinary trapeze accident built in.
Tomorrow the city is throwing a ticker-tape to celebrate an ordinary trapeze accident.
4 out of 5 doctors recommend an ordinary trapeze accident.
The Halifax bridge finally collapsed under the intense weight of an ordinary trapeze accident.

What if Gillette WAS the best a man could get?
 
 
Jul 12 at 18:43 PDT
Crytax
Ph. D in Cryonics

2006 Apr 26 • 675
11 ₧
Canada, our mortal enemy
nc

I didn’t mean to start Canada, our mortal enemy, it just happened!
I chipped my tooth. My dentist said I’m lucky it wasn’t Canada, our mortal enemy.
In the dressing room at Marshall’s, I found Canada, our mortal enemy sticking to the wall.
If mom hears us talking about Canada, our mortal enemy we’ll be SO grounded!
The FBI is at the door. I think they're here because of... you know... Canada, our mortal enemy.
Oh no! Obama put Canada, our mortal enemy in the water to turn the frogs gay!

What if Gillette WAS the best a man could get?
 
 
Jul 12 at 18:43 PDT
Crytax
Ph. D in Cryonics

2006 Apr 26 • 675
11 ₧
A black skinhead
n

The dog ate awesome lectures so we’re waiting for a black skinhead.
“Impossible,” said Pride. “Risky,” said Experience. “Give it a try,” whispered the Heart. That’s when I tried a black skinhead.
I love your necklace! It’s a black skinhead, right?
Ever since the accident, I freeze in terror at the sight of a black skinhead.
I thought I was being attacked, so I defended myself with a black skinhead.
Aww! My mom packed a terrible lunch: A black skinhead and apple slices.

What if Gillette WAS the best a man could get?
 
 
Jul 12 at 18:44 PDT
Crytax
Ph. D in Cryonics

2006 Apr 26 • 675
11 ₧
Pretty tasty and well-marbled
nc

I got into my car and sat on pretty tasty and well-marbled. Slowly, a smile crept over my face.
The Luba of Central Africa are the only known culture with a specific word for pretty tasty and well-marbled.
If you do pretty tasty and well-marbled right, all that matters is you have a good time.
People around the world recognize pretty tasty and well-marbled as the unofficial symbol of the USA.
To brew a love potion, besides eye of newt you need pretty tasty and well-marbled.
The authorities followed the trail of pretty tasty and well-marbled, leading them straight to the suspect.

What if Gillette WAS the best a man could get?
 
 
Jul 12 at 18:44 PDT