SuperJer Against Humanity Suggestions: 3rd Strike

SuperJer Against Humanity Suggestions: 3rd Strike

General — Page 1 2 3 ... 14 15 16 [17]
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 6294
 {U}: you get close, you get sucked in.

Putting on pants: you get close, you get sucked in.
Industrial adhesive: you get close, you get sucked in.
Cutting a hole in my pants: you get close, you get sucked in.
Weird legs: you get close, you get sucked in.
A sexual encounter: you get close, you get sucked in.
A super-tiny butt hole: you get close, you get sucked in.

 
 
Jun 30 at 17:03 PDT
milfshakeuwu
2020 Jun 27 • 1
A piping hot baby
n

At the Pirates of the Caribbean ride they replaced the inside with a piping hot baby.
Astronaut Chris Hadfield is well known for sneaking a piping hot baby onto the International Space Station.
There’s a piping hot baby convention going on and everybody is rolling in.
Rocky tubes inside the volcano, sometimes called bitches on the love throne, are the passages for a piping hot baby to flow.
A piping hot baby? That’s my fetish!
Lonely guys in Japan can buy a piping hot baby that sounds like a girl and will even go to bed with them.

 
 
Jul 1 at 10:57 PDT — Ed. Jul 1 at 10:57 PDT
Nezumi
Asshole Admin

1-Up Medal
2005 Mar 26 • 633
175 ₧
An actual bone penis
n

Honey, you can’t keep putting an actual bone penis down the garbage disposal!
Astronaut Chris Hadfield is well known for sneaking an actual bone penis onto the International Space Station.
In public restrooms I always put an actual bone penis on the toilet before sitting down.
At the Pirates of the Caribbean ride they replaced an actual bone penis with a reception area for social events.
My father abandoned my mother and I because he was an actual bone penis.
I can’t believe you forced my mom into an actual bone penis! She’s 62!

 
 
Jul 2 at 03:12 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 6294
Mexican four-cheese
nc

In a world with Coach Diddleplayers being attacked by a skeleton, one man must overcome Mexican four-cheese. Coming this summer.
Mexican four-cheese slowly began to open and someone yelled, “It’s accepting us!”
When I was bodybuilding I tried to dead-lift a sack of otters over my head, but Mexican four-cheese got in the way.
Lot’s of people drive down to Portland for Mexican four-cheese and to avoid biking down the Luxor.
The weirdest thing about Mexican four-cheese is that sometimes even girls have Mexican four-cheese.
In protest, Gandhi swore to abstain from Mexican four-cheese.

 
 
Jul 2 at 11:27 PDT — Ed. Jul 2 at 11:31 PDT
aaronjer
*****'n Admin

Comrade General 5-Star
2005 Mar 21 • 4622
1,227 ₧
A curly little tube for slurpin' nectar
n

Opioids help people with a curly little tube for slurpin' nectar, but then they can’t poop.
The ‘caustic solvent moth’ has adapted to feed on distended tubes, and hide under a curly little tube for slurpin' nectar in cities and towns to spin its cocoon.
Shepherds in Scotland have used a curly little tube for slurpin' nectar for years to keep the flock from a pussy, wet and dripping.
I never expected to be fingered by a curly little tube for slurpin' nectar.
I Googled for a curly little tube for slurpin' nectar and found a picture of myself.
We need more black cards! Maybe another one about a curly little tube for slurpin' nectar, but with mailing anthrax!

 
 
Jul 5 at 02:34 PDT — Ed. Jul 5 at 02:35 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 6294
Splashing my anus
v

Vote for me and I’ll stop splashing my anus, get rid of a newer, sleeker leopard, and give everyone bedtime for free.
The White Bitch is an elite black ops unit of the United States Army that was established by splashing my anus.
If it weren’t for me, you wouldn’t even be splashing my anus.
When I saw a big, red X I was nervous, but when it started coming toward me, splashing my anus, I freaked!
It's like they always say: splashing my anus never changes.
There’s always time for splashing my anus before breakfast.

 
 
Jul 10 at 15:13 PDT — Ed. Jul 14 at 13:05 PDT
Nezumi
Asshole Admin

1-Up Medal
2005 Mar 26 • 633
175 ₧
Vladimir Lenin's mummy
nc

My financial analyst has advised me to invest my fortune in Vladimir Lenin's mummy.
How high do you have to be to put Vladimir Lenin's mummy on a wondrous, splendifirous little thing?
Doing your best and trying your hardest with Vladimir Lenin's mummy is a uniquely British problem.
Vladimir Lenin's mummy can be used as a dildo, if you’re brave enough.
When I think South America, I feel Vladimir Lenin's mummy.
Vladimir Lenin's mummy slowly began to open and someone yelled, “It’s accepting us!”

 
 
Jul 10 at 22:38 PDT
Nezumi
Asshole Admin

1-Up Medal
2005 Mar 26 • 633
175 ₧
The ancient Sumerian god called Ereshkigal
n

Tomorrow the city is throwing a ticker-tape to celebrate the ancient Sumerian god called Ereshkigal.
The ancient Sumerian god called Ereshkigal is the only way to say goodbye.
You evaded my “The Ancient Sumerian God Called Ereshkigal” attack! Most impressive.
This land is organic porpoise semen land, this land is the ancient Sumerian god called Ereshkigal land.
Do you remember when we were kids, and the police shut the school, and we were the ancient Sumerian god called Ereshkigal?
Kinect automatically recognizes when you’re the ancient Sumerian god called Ereshkigal and turns itself on to broadcast it to your friends.



Ereshkigal, the ancient Sumerian goddess of the underworld
n

Sir, you have a phone call. Something about Ereshkigal, the ancient Sumerian goddess of the underworld?
I surreptitiously crawled into bed, only to find Ereshkigal, the ancient Sumerian goddess of the underworld.
When I told my father he shouted, “No daughter of mine is going out with Ereshkigal, the ancient Sumerian goddess of the underworld!”
I’ll never know why my grandparents find Ereshkigal, the ancient Sumerian goddess of the underworld so relaxing.
Don’t leave the door open! Ereshkigal, the ancient Sumerian goddess of the underworld will get in.
Ereshkigal, the ancient Sumerian goddess of the underworld is legally grounds for divorcing your wife in 28 states.

 
 
Jul 10 at 22:40 PDT — Ed. Jul 10 at 22:43 PDT
aaronjer
*****'n Admin

Comrade General 5-Star
2005 Mar 21 • 4622
1,227 ₧
Jumping into a coffin
v

This is a great piece, it doesn’t have a lot of action, but it has a lot of jumping into a coffin.
In a world with gay shit flipping over and spraying into the air, one man must overcome jumping into a coffin. Coming this summer.
The dog ate black votes so we’re waiting for jumping into a coffin.
Thanks for jumping into a coffin last night. *wink* *wink*
The biggest float in the Macy’s Parade this year is jumping into a coffin.
Kinect automatically recognizes when you’re jumping into a coffin and turns itself on to broadcast it to your friends.

 
 
Jul 12 at 05:18 PDT
aaronjer
*****'n Admin

Comrade General 5-Star
2005 Mar 21 • 4622
1,227 ₧
Catching on fire
v

Jesus is catching on fire.
At his last campaign rally, Bernie Sanders began catching on fire in front of his top supporters.
I’m catching on fire in the streets, but dat ass in the sheets.
Up next, you won’t believe what our secret cameras caught: nothing, initially catching on fire!
Men, like so much raw meat, go farthest when they are catching on fire.
I have to visit my uncle for Christmas. He’s always bein’ all catching on fire when he drinks egg nog. It’s so weird!

 
 
Jul 12 at 05:18 PDT
aaronjer
*****'n Admin

Comrade General 5-Star
2005 Mar 21 • 4622
1,227 ₧
Catching on fire and jumping into a coffin
v

Deep Earth miners in Venezuela struck an enormous ore vein of McDonald’s®. Half the country is catching on fire and jumping into a coffin.
It’s huge. It’s wet. It’s sprawled out in the parking lot. It’s catching on fire and jumping into a coffin.
Catching on fire and jumping into a coffin is always a contest when I’m involved.
Do you remember when we were kids, and the police shut the school, and we were catching on fire and jumping into a coffin?
I had a really good childhood up until I was nine, then catching on fire and jumping into a coffin really affected me.
Make sure to hang a robustly satisfying fart in a tree so catching on fire and jumping into a coffin leaves your tent alone.

 
 
Jul 12 at 05:19 PDT
aaronjer
*****'n Admin

Comrade General 5-Star
2005 Mar 21 • 4622
1,227 ₧
Your next boner
n

Here on the assembly line we heat your next boner to a steaming, bright cherry red, and this next machine over here is being asleep, not dead.
The Perfect Moscow Mule: One shot of a virus, ginger beer, and a squeeze of your next boner. Serve in a powerful Chinese man.
Bumper sticker: My other ride is your next boner.
I don’t need love because I’m your next boner. Sorry mom!
I picked up a hitchhiker and he showed me your next boner while we were still in the car.
Military scientists in Syria found traces of your next boner in the soil.

 
 
Jul 14 at 17:35 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 6294
Dog cancer
nc

Dog cancer like this is enough to kill a horse!
Aron Ralston was trapped under dog cancer for 5 days. He only survived by cutting off the most humane action!
Some anarchist made the sign over the expressway say “THE STATE IS DOG CANCER GETTING SNAPPED IN HALF.”
My PC stopped working so I opened it up and found dog cancer inside. I should take it to love handles!
A 2008 study of Movile’s only snail found that it has been between your legs. The snail may have escaped dog cancer by going underground.
It’s dangerous to leave dog cancer on the stairs.

 
 
Jul 30 at 22:12 PDT
Crytax
Ph. D in Cryonics

2006 Apr 26 • 348
11 ₧
An aggressive attempt to become sexually intimate
n

The rich aroma of an aggressive attempt to become sexually intimate, from the hills of Colombia.
Growing up we never had that lamp over there, but we had to deal with an aggressive attempt to become sexually intimate.
This party was a real snooze, until an aggressive attempt to become sexually intimate got things jumpin’.
At work I secretly have an aggressive attempt to become sexually intimate under my desk.
I got an aggressive attempt to become sexually intimate as a pet! Do you want to see the racy picture we took with the bitter cold?
Every French soldier carries an aggressive attempt to become sexually intimate in his knapsack.

What if Gillette WAS the best a man could get?
 
 
Aug 3 at 09:45 PDT — Ed. Aug 3 at 09:45 PDT
Crytax
Ph. D in Cryonics

2006 Apr 26 • 348
11 ₧
Your 'south mouth'
nc

Ever since I got back from Mexico I’ve been really into your 'south mouth'.
Zaloxocor is not for everyone. Side effects include a shrieking tarantula, your 'south mouth', dry mouth, and being picked.
Thanks for your 'south mouth' last night. *wink* *wink*
For Halloween we’re peeling your 'south mouth' so it feels like eyeballs, and we made squirting acid so it feels like brains.
So I agree to go up to the apartment, where I find your 'south mouth' all lubed up, ready to go. Ew!
Yeah right Charles! I know you’re cheating on me! How do you explain your 'south mouth'?

What if Gillette WAS the best a man could get?
 
 
Thursday at 15:47 PDT
Nezumi
Asshole Admin

1-Up Medal
2005 Mar 26 • 633
175 ₧
A passionate kiss in the torpedo bay
n

I got into my car and sat on a passionate kiss in the torpedo bay. Slowly, a smile crept over my face.
Strangely, right before Hitler killed himself, he had females with four teats destroyed and a passionate kiss in the torpedo bay killed as well.
While I was out the Roomba got into a passionate kiss in the torpedo bay and was wearing John Travolta’s face.
If you’re interested in my services, email me at: cuddling@a-passionate-kiss-in-the-torpedo-bay.biz
Military scientists in Syria found traces of a passionate kiss in the torpedo bay in the soil.
Your attempt to get little Susie what’s-her-name drunk on lime vodka ended with a passionate kiss in the torpedo bay.

 
 
Thursday at 20:13 PDT
aaronjer
*****'n Admin

Comrade General 5-Star
2005 Mar 21 • 4622
1,227 ₧
Being allowed to wear undies again
v

R Kelly fantasizes about being allowed to wear undies again with a young Beyonce.
Don’t shake a dense woolly undercoat over the chest so hard, it’ll start being allowed to wear undies again.
You evaded my “Being Allowed to Wear Undies Again” attack! Most impressive.
Dwayne Johnson has a secret tattoo that reads, “being allowed to wear undies again,” with a picture of two firetrucks.
People are freaking out because the new Happy Meal PEZ® dispenser is being allowed to wear undies again.
We couldn’t land because of her cooter caught in the landing gear. We had to crash land on the runway like being allowed to wear undies again.

 
 
Sunday at 00:34 PDT
Signa
2013 Dec 28 • 161
Necking with a best friend
v

More than 260 people were injured by festive firecracker blasts and Necking with a best friend in the Philippines.
CAUTION: Keep a dead clown on the stairs out of hopper and chute opening. Failure to comply risks Necking with a best friend.
If you’re interested in my services, email me at: necking-with-a-best-friend@realizing-i-m-a-douche.biz
Let poorly orchestrated group sex host your next party, providing Necking with a best friend like you’ve never experienced before.
Necking-with-a-Best-Friend-a-Roni: the San Francisco treat!
Deep Earth miners in Venezuela struck an enormous ore vein of pulsating opposite sexes. Half the country is Necking with a best friend.

 
 
Sunday at 19:50 PDT
Crytax
Ph. D in Cryonics

2006 Apr 26 • 348
11 ₧
A pillow case full of chicken nuggets
n

Rocky tubes inside the volcano, sometimes called nutters running around with chainsaws, are the passages for a pillow case full of chicken nuggets to flow.
I was so surprised to see lubricant that a pillow case full of chicken nuggets fell out of my mouth.
Chase bank is giving out a pillow case full of chicken nuggets this week if you open an account and put $100 in it.
You can’t keep running around like urine sprinkles, you’re endangering a pillow case full of chicken nuggets!
I slowly crept up to the bed, whispering, “Get ready for a pillow case full of chicken nuggets
I think it’s lovely that you’re getting into a pillow case full of chicken nuggets, but I won’t tell your father. He’ll start clown genitals.

What if Gillette WAS the best a man could get?
 
 
Sunday at 21:25 PDT
aaronjer
*****'n Admin

Comrade General 5-Star
2005 Mar 21 • 4622
1,227 ₧
5 young studs down below
np

At the urgent care clinic they distracted me with 5 young studs down below. I barely even felt hot grills.
Opinions are like 5 young studs down below. Everybody’s got one and they all stink.
I want to say one word to you, just one word: 5 young studs down below.
Every morning I hop out of bed and get straight to 5 young studs down below, even before I put on my clothes.
I had a really good childhood up until I was nine, then 5 young studs down below really affected me.
I went to cut the cake, and to my delight, 5 young studs down below popped out!

 
 
Yesterday at 17:26 PDT
aaronjer
*****'n Admin

Comrade General 5-Star
2005 Mar 21 • 4622
1,227 ₧
During shore leave, the sailors were caught  {v} with underage  {pcv}.
Play 2

During shore leave, the sailors were caught floating away in a fucking balloon with underage going as deep as possible.
During shore leave, the sailors were caught going down the garbage disposal with underage terminal illness.
During shore leave, the sailors were caught handling my mother with underage exploding from both ends.
During shore leave, the sailors were caught succumbing to nature with underage maggots.
During shore leave, the sailors were caught fishin’ for pussytuna with underage untwisting.
During shore leave, the sailors were caught wearing John Travolta’s face with underage filling my mouth.

 
 
Yesterday at 17:30 PDT — Ed. Yesterday at 17:32 PDT
Nezumi
Asshole Admin

1-Up Medal
2005 Mar 26 • 633
175 ₧
A local pervert
n

Any man who can drive safely while kissing a local pervert is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves.
Dear diary, today I went into the city and saw a local pervert for the first time!
You can’t keep running around like a little spurt, you’re endangering a local pervert!
I beat a local pervert all the time!
In public restrooms I always put a local pervert on the toilet before sitting down.
Dagnabbit! I got a local pervert all jammed up in the wheel well again.

 
 
Yesterday at 21:58 PDT
Nezumi
Asshole Admin

1-Up Medal
2005 Mar 26 • 633
175 ₧
My "roommate"
nc

In this 15th century painting, a squealing 4-year-old is represented by a man with my "roommate" for a head.
What’s in the fridge? Soda, OJ, my "roommate"... Sweet! Sunny-D!
President Putin’s approval rating shot to nearly 100% when the Russian government began my "roommate".
Sometimes, when hiking through the woods, you might cross paths with my "roommate". So bring you and me.
At the acupuncture clinic they stuck needles in ribs. That’s supposed to help me with my "roommate"?!
My "roommate" from the Ohio county fair to be destroyed due to infection.

 
 
Yesterday at 22:00 PDT
aaronjer
*****'n Admin

Comrade General 5-Star
2005 Mar 21 • 4622
1,227 ₧
Half the guys I know
nc

Last Christmas, I gave you half the guys I know. The very next day, you gave it away.
In my wild days I was being unfit to even live, among other crimes. They finally caught me doing it with half the guys I know on the New Mexico border.
12th street is closed due to a man in a tree throwing half the guys I know at cars and passers-by.
I will do anything for half the guys I know. But I won’t do that!
My pharmacist separated half the guys I know into two parts, and carefully lowered one into a protective layer of rubber.
The new self-help fad: Better Living Through Half the Guys I Know!

 
 
11 hours ago — Ed. 11 hours ago
Signa
2013 Dec 28 • 161
Lubing up with WD-40
v

Ever since feigned sympathy appeared in the neighborhood, I’ve felt uncomfortable while lubing up with WD-40.
I don’t know how impregnating your five-year-old brother could lead to lubing up with WD-40 but it probably involves manliness!
The media’s nonstop coverage of terminal illness is just to distract us from lubing up with WD-40.
At Home Depot they have this new all-in-one tool that’s shaped like mediocre tits and can be used for lubing up with WD-40.
Lubing up with WD-40! Lubing up with WD-40! My kingdom for lubing up with WD-40!
I think a lot of people would pay to see lubing up with WD-40.

 
 
2 hours ago
Page 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 [17]