SuperJer Against Humanity Suggestions: 3rd Strike

SuperJer Against Humanity Suggestions: 3rd Strike

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Nezumi
Asshole Admin

1-Up Medal
2005 Mar 26 • 718
175 ₧
A naked catboy
n

No wonder Dad lost his money, he invested in a naked catboy!
A naked catboy nearly killed me in my dream. I think it’s my brain telling me to avoid The Super Buttsex Arena.
Bumper sticker: My other ride is a naked catboy.
Ok, I’ll admit butt stuff might have been a bad idea. But to be fair, I didn’t expect it to result in a naked catboy.
Our secret society is dedicated a naked catboy.
There is no revenge so complete as a naked catboy.

 
 
May 18 at 03:50 PDT
CameronLancaster

2014 Feb 19 • 14
Teaching a skeleton to vibrate
v

You evaded my “Teaching a Skeleton to Vibrate” attack! Most impressive.
My wife printed me a certifcate for teaching a skeleton to vibrate. I’m excited for tonight!
Today at school the teacher asked us “what we want to be when we grow up?” I responded: teaching a skeleton to vibrate!!!
Don't you hate when you see teaching a skeleton to vibrate in the carpool lane?
It wasn’t in the movie, but they had a lot of teaching a skeleton to vibrate on the Titanic.
Class, turn to page 105 and read “Teaching a Skeleton to Vibrate and You”.

 
 
May 20 at 11:06 PDT — Ed. May 20 at 11:10 PDT
aaronjer
*****'n Admin

Comrade General 5-Star
2005 Mar 21 • 4849
1,227 ₧
Police found   in the suspect's bulging abdomen.

Police found porkin’ in the suspect's bulging abdomen.
Police found a weak little person in the suspect's bulging abdomen.
Police found boiling water in the suspect's bulging abdomen.
Police found live wires hanging from the ceiling in the suspect's bulging abdomen.
Police found beating up Dracula in the suspect's bulging abdomen.
Police found doing it RIGHT this time! in the suspect's bulging abdomen.

 
 
May 20 at 15:19 PDT — Ed. May 20 at 15:20 PDT
aaronjer
*****'n Admin

Comrade General 5-Star
2005 Mar 21 • 4849
1,227 ₧
A robot that will eventually kill us all
n

The rich aroma of a robot that will eventually kill us all, from the hills of Colombia.
A robot that will eventually kill us all saved is a robot that will eventually kill us all earned.
Vote for me and I’ll get rid of a robot that will eventually kill us all, and give everyone 50 years for free.
“D” is for a robot that will eventually kill us all.
Last night was the tragic result of a robot that will eventually kill us all.
My life coach told me that to maximise my positive energy flow, I should get a robot that will eventually kill us all.

 
 
May 21 at 11:15 PDT
aaronjer
*****'n Admin

Comrade General 5-Star
2005 Mar 21 • 4849
1,227 ₧
Giving birth to  {n} was the most beautiful moment of my life.

Giving birth to a gasoline enema was the most beautiful moment of my life.
Giving birth to Katy Perry’s kitty, Kitty Purry was the most beautiful moment of my life.
Giving birth to my unwanted child was the most beautiful moment of my life.
Giving birth to the hands of the enemy was the most beautiful moment of my life.
Giving birth to nitro-boosted performance was the most beautiful moment of my life.
Giving birth to a kitten pawing at my wiener was the most beautiful moment of my life.

 
 
May 23 at 16:48 PDT — Ed. May 23 at 16:48 PDT
aaronjer
*****'n Admin

Comrade General 5-Star
2005 Mar 21 • 4849
1,227 ₧
The tightest one
n

My brother thought he was SO funny when he took the tightest one from the freezer and put it down the back of my shirt.
Chase bank is giving out the tightest one this week if you open an account and put $100 in it.
The transferred sperm cells are kept in the tightest one, where they can remain viable for longer periods.
The tightest one is really getting all up in my business!
In this 15th century painting, the tightest one is represented by a man with cheese for a head.
The Answer to the Ultimate Question of Life, the Universe and Everything: the tightest one.

 
 
May 24 at 16:44 PDT
aaronjer
*****'n Admin

Comrade General 5-Star
2005 Mar 21 • 4849
1,227 ₧
  can fit through tiny holes due to a lack of bone structure.

hot naughty bodies can fit through tiny holes due to a lack of bone structure.
a weak little person can fit through tiny holes due to a lack of bone structure.
a squirt of mustard can fit through tiny holes due to a lack of bone structure.
tikka masala can fit through tiny holes due to a lack of bone structure.
the white man’s burden can fit through tiny holes due to a lack of bone structure.
toxic virginity can fit through tiny holes due to a lack of bone structure.

 
 
May 26 at 10:50 PDT — Ed. May 26 at 10:50 PDT
aaronjer
*****'n Admin

Comrade General 5-Star
2005 Mar 21 • 4849
1,227 ₧
Daddy's favorite
n

Interested in my services? Mail me at: daddys-favorite@bromance.biz
My kid was acting up, so I took away daddy's favorite privileges.
Welcome to Denny’s®! Would you like to try our new special, daddy's favorite?
SpaceX is developing a machine to simulate daddy's favorite to prepare for a mission to Mars.
Do you remember when we were kids, and the police shut the school, and we were daddy's favorite?
The new Harley-Davidson has got daddy's favorite painted on both sides.

 
 
Jun 1 at 08:37 PDT — Ed. Jun 1 at 08:37 PDT
aaronjer
*****'n Admin

Comrade General 5-Star
2005 Mar 21 • 4849
1,227 ₧
THE HIVE CLUSTER IS UNDER ATTACK
nc

The Japanese insist on their traditional right to hunt THE HIVE CLUSTER IS UNDER ATTACK in the sea.
I love your necklace! It’s THE HIVE CLUSTER IS UNDER ATTACK, right?
Deep Earth miners in Venezuela struck an enormous ore vein of THE HIVE CLUSTER IS UNDER ATTACK. Half the country is being followed by bears.
There is a rumor that Marilyn Manson had THE HIVE CLUSTER IS UNDER ATTACK removed so he could pleasure himself.
The Luba of Central Africa are the only known culture with a specific word for THE HIVE CLUSTER IS UNDER ATTACK.
I will do anything for THE HIVE CLUSTER IS UNDER ATTACK. But I won’t do allowing babies to starve while you gorge!

 
 
Jun 3 at 11:35 PDT
aaronjer
*****'n Admin

Comrade General 5-Star
2005 Mar 21 • 4849
1,227 ₧
A little fenced-off area
n

I came with an electric cord to school to show my friends, but stupid Billy Carter brought a little fenced-off area so nobody even noticed!
When this spring’s hottest new fashions is ready, a little fenced-off area will appear.
It’s taking forever to scrape the remains of a little fenced-off area off the grill.
Josh said, on the way in to work today, he swerved around a little fenced-off area on the freeway.
Sometimes, when hiking through the woods, you might cross paths with a bear. So bring a little fenced-off area.
Last Christmas, I gave you a little fenced-off area. The very next day, you gave it away.

 
 
Jun 3 at 12:44 PDT
aaronjer
*****'n Admin

Comrade General 5-Star
2005 Mar 21 • 4849
1,227 ₧
A robotic attack spider
n

Always walk into an interview with a robotic attack spider and confidence, and you’ll get the job.
My new phone looks like it’s a robotic attack spider but I don’t mind. It makes calls.
But of the tree of a robotic attack spider you shall not eat, for in the day you eat of it you shall surely die.
I came with a robotic attack spider to school to show my friends, but stupid Billy Carter brought a squirt of mustard so nobody even noticed!
Sometimes, when hiking through the woods, you might cross paths with a bear. So bring a robotic attack spider.
In this 15th century painting, a robotic attack spider is represented by a man with cheese for a head.

 
 
Jun 3 at 12:45 PDT
aaronjer
*****'n Admin

Comrade General 5-Star
2005 Mar 21 • 4849
1,227 ₧
Defecation-induced orgasms
np

For Christmas, everyone got defecation-induced orgasms in their stockings!
A weird glitch in the Oculus Rift demo caused me to experience defecation-induced orgasms like I was really there.
They said defecation-induced orgasms was out of my league, but look at me now! I’m the king of defecation-induced orgasms!
Opinions are like defecation-induced orgasms. Everybody’s got one and they all stink.
Where do defecation-induced orgasms come from? Some parents tell their children they are brought by a stork.
I refuse to roleplay as anything but defecation-induced orgasms.

 
 
Jun 3 at 14:08 PDT
aaronjer
*****'n Admin

Comrade General 5-Star
2005 Mar 21 • 4849
1,227 ₧
Miraculously surviving the plague
v

Watch me getting fat. Now watch me miraculously surviving the plague.
Wolves don’t eat miraculously surviving the plague, and neither should kings.
The only thing standing in your way is miraculously surviving the plague.
Are you there God? It’s me, miraculously surviving the plague.
Apparently, “Miraculously Surviving the Plague” is a dance move in the Hip-Hop and B-Boy community.
A billboard on my way home had a picture of miraculously surviving the plague and the words “the part I pee out of”. I don’t get it!

 
 
Jun 3 at 21:13 PDT
aaronjer
*****'n Admin

Comrade General 5-Star
2005 Mar 21 • 4849
1,227 ₧
My fingerling potatoes with parmesan
np

Huge scandal this week as the PM of Australia was caught with my fingerling potatoes with parmesan.
I didn’t have any cash, so I tipped the pizza guy with my fingerling potatoes with parmesan.
The new hit reality show: Can You Swallow My Fingerling Potatoes with Parmesan?
You can’t keep running around like my fingerling potatoes with parmesan, you’re going to put an eye out!
Adult videos can have a vanilla scene, or girl-on-my-fingerling-potatoes-with-parmesan, or even some kind of an-ancient-Indian-burial-ground scene.
“You didn’t even get me anything for my birthday!” “Yes I did, remember my fingerling potatoes with parmesan?”

 
 
Jun 7 at 20:01 PDT
aaronjer
*****'n Admin

Comrade General 5-Star
2005 Mar 21 • 4849
1,227 ₧
Your boys
np

I will do anything for your boys. But I won’t do that!
I strongly believe that every scene of a movie should end with your boys.
I’m getting your boys installed in my car, so I can use it while I drive.
I got into my car and sat on your boys. Slowly, a smile crept over my face.
The shockwave from the mishap at the fireworks factory shattered windows and caused your boys in the streets.
A new study found that giving employees compliments and your boys can help motivate them, even more than a cash bonus.

 
 
Jun 10 at 09:05 PDT — Ed. Jun 10 at 09:06 PDT
aaronjer
*****'n Admin

Comrade General 5-Star
2005 Mar 21 • 4849
1,227 ₧
Kangaroos have a claw that can slice your abdomen so deep that  {n} will fall right out.

Kangaroos have a claw that can slice your abdomen so deep that $18 worth of Taco Bell™ will fall right out.
Kangaroos have a claw that can slice your abdomen so deep that backwash will fall right out.
Kangaroos have a claw that can slice your abdomen so deep that puberty cream will fall right out.
Kangaroos have a claw that can slice your abdomen so deep that a fatal bee sting on the anus will fall right out.
Kangaroos have a claw that can slice your abdomen so deep that alien technology will fall right out.
Kangaroos have a claw that can slice your abdomen so deep that insane shoes will fall right out.

 
 
Jun 10 at 09:07 PDT
aaronjer
*****'n Admin

Comrade General 5-Star
2005 Mar 21 • 4849
1,227 ₧
Just make sure   is genital safe.

Just make sure slow diarrhea is genital safe.
Just make sure absolutely no black people is genital safe.
Just make sure a shrieking tarantula is genital safe.
Just make sure the pilot, who died instantly is genital safe.
Just make sure sizzling lard is genital safe.
Just make sure poorly orchestrated group sex is genital safe.

 
 
Jun 10 at 09:13 PDT
aaronjer
*****'n Admin

Comrade General 5-Star
2005 Mar 21 • 4849
1,227 ₧
My special place just for you
n

Amtrak officials confirm my special place just for you would have prevented train derailment.
Authorities were tallying damage from my special place just for you that struck southern California Friday evening.
Daddy! There’s my special place just for you under my bed. Kill it kill it!
At BASF, we don't *make* my special place just for you, we make my special place just for you *better*.
My new phone looks like it’s my special place just for you but I don’t mind. It makes calls.
The police failed to catch the fleeing suspect because of my special place just for you.

 
 
Jun 10 at 10:29 PDT
Nezumi
Asshole Admin

1-Up Medal
2005 Mar 26 • 718
175 ₧
Burping blood
v

Burping blood gets me into some awkward situations. But I won’t stop.
It is disrespectful and dangerous to be burping blood during sex.
Sky watchers are excited to gaze upon the Super Blood Moon, which is caused by burping blood.
At the hospital I had to take off my clothes and get into a gown before burping blood.
Politics. The Burping Blood Party, is always trying to shove a promise down our throats.
The sun gets its energy from fusing hydrogen into burping blood.



A blood burp
n

The number one issue for voters is the economy, followed by a blood burp and healthcare.
Kinect automatically recognizes when you’re a blood burp and turns itself on to broadcast it to your friends.
New extreme Mountain Dew™ flavor: A Blood Burp Blast!
I was vacuuming when I sucked a blood burp out from under the couch.
At the new Asian-inspired spot downtown, the chef will prepare a blood burp right at your table.
A weird glitch in the Oculus Rift demo caused me to experience a blood burp like I was really there.



Burping blood on people
v

I noticed symptoms of burping blood on people, so I went to my naturopathic doctor. He said, “it’s $10!” but I’m not sure.
I’m burping blood on people in the streets, but hot lava in the sheets.
The hottest new cryptocurrency is “Burping-blood-on-people-coin”
Nothing good nearly killed me in my dream. I think it’s my brain telling me to avoid burping blood on people.
Thank you ladies and gentlemen! For my next performance art piece, I will be burping blood on people.
Burping blood on people can be used as a dildo, if you’re brave enough.

 
 
Jun 10 at 16:16 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 6493
Melting in my mouth
v

It’s important to pack the essentials when camping, such as water, first aid, melting in my mouth, & toilet paper.
I got written up at work today for running to the bathroom and melting in my mouth. There was a report.
Pundits agree it will take melting in my mouth for the senator to win the election.
It is disrespectful and dangerous to be melting in my mouth during sex.
Up next, you won’t believe what our secret cameras caught: melting in my mouth.
Since I deserve it, I am going to reward myself with melting in my mouth.

 
 
Jun 11 at 13:51 PDT — Ed. Jun 11 at 13:52 PDT
aaronjer
*****'n Admin

Comrade General 5-Star
2005 Mar 21 • 4849
1,227 ₧
Large amounts of ham, directly
nc

Thanks for large amounts of ham, directly last night. *wink* *wink*
Large-Amounts-of-Ham-Directly-a-Roni: the San Francisco treat!
Making the best chocolate chip cookies requires large amounts of ham, directly.
I’m gonna prove the link between a hot explosion and large amounts of ham, directly! You’ll all see!
More armies need to incorporate large amounts of ham, directly into their uniforms.
I strongly believe that every scene of a movie should end with large amounts of ham, directly.

 
 
Jun 12 at 11:03 PDT
aaronjer
*****'n Admin

Comrade General 5-Star
2005 Mar 21 • 4849
1,227 ₧
Getting into position for sex
v

This year’s hottest new fashion is getting into position for sex on your head.
Woah, weird, is anyone else getting turned on by getting into position for sex?
Getting into position for sex is the only way to say goodbye.
The honey story is a hoax! Just an excuse by the elites for getting into position for sex!
Getting into position for sex can be used as a dildo, if you’re brave enough.
The strongest Sumo training technique is getting into position for sex.

 
 
Jun 12 at 11:05 PDT
aaronjer
*****'n Admin

Comrade General 5-Star
2005 Mar 21 • 4849
1,227 ₧
My stomach contents, hurtling
nc

Help! I’m my stomach contents, hurtling and I need YOU to do something about it!
If my neighbor doesn’t get my stomach contents, hurtling off my property, I’m calling the cops!
While you’re at the store can you pick up my stomach contents, hurtling, in family size?
President Reagan and his entire cabinet got my stomach contents, hurtling before every meeting.
The water tower looks like it’s my stomach contents, hurtling from this angle.
It has been prophesized that the young king will eventually be killed by my stomach contents, hurtling.

 
 
Jun 12 at 11:10 PDT
aaronjer
*****'n Admin

Comrade General 5-Star
2005 Mar 21 • 4849
1,227 ₧
The last remaining Germans
np

I Googled for the last remaining Germans and found a picture of myself.
I’ll never know why my grandparents find the last remaining Germans so relaxing.
What will we do with the last remaining Germans early in the morning?
I bought the last remaining Germans yesterday and now I can’t stop stripping!
Daddy! There’s the last remaining Germans under my bed. Kill it kill it!
Where do the last remaining Germans come from? Some parents tell their children they are brought by a stork.

 
 
Jun 13 at 13:24 PDT
aaronjer
*****'n Admin

Comrade General 5-Star
2005 Mar 21 • 4849
1,227 ₧
Slowly filling with urine
v

It has been prophesized that the young king will eventually be killed by slowly filling with urine.
As the A.I. robot gained self-awareness, it immediately began slowly filling with urine.
We’re at the circus! There are jugglers, and a man is slowly filling with urine on a galloping horse.
All the best love stories include slowly filling with urine.
Men, like nipple placement, go farthest when they are slowly filling with urine.
I heard you were talking about slowly filling with urine so I had to come over!

 
 
Jun 15 at 11:45 PDT