SuperJer Against Humanity Suggestions: 3rd Strike

SuperJer Against Humanity Suggestions: 3rd Strike

General — Page 1 2 3 ... 46 47 48 [49] 50 51 52 53
Crytax
Ph. D in Cryonics

2006 Apr 26 • 675
11 ₧
A screeching panicky escape using some sort of jet pack or hang glider
n

Use the same action as when puffing your cheeks, but the air should pass into a screeching panicky escape using some sort of jet pack or hang glider and your cheeks should be relaxed.
Today the Senate is voting on a screeching panicky escape using some sort of jet pack or hang glider.
If I was God, you would be a screeching panicky escape using some sort of jet pack or hang glider.
Aron Ralston was trapped under a screeching panicky escape using some sort of jet pack or hang glider for 5 days. He only survived by cutting off his arm.
As an homage to humanity, NASA has broadcasted a screeching panicky escape using some sort of jet pack or hang glider to the vastness of space.
When I was a kid I used to take a screeching panicky escape using some sort of jet pack or hang glider into the bathroom with me.

What if Gillette WAS the best a man could get?
 
 
Jul 25 at 16:45 PDT
aaronjer
*****'n Admin

Comrade General 5-Star
2005 Mar 21 • 4868
1,227 ₧
I'm all full of  ! I need a  -ectomy!
Play 1

I'm all full of conjuring! I need a conjuring-ectomy!
I'm all full of my brother, who I’m sure you remember! I need a my brother, who I’m sure you remember-ectomy!
I'm all full of killers! I need a killers-ectomy!
I'm all full of the most sensitive part of my body! I need a the most sensitive part of my body-ectomy!
I'm all full of unexpected penetration! I need a unexpected penetration-ectomy!
I'm all full of barely in the butthole! I need a barely in the butthole-ectomy!

 
 
Jul 26 at 10:51 PDT
aaronjer
*****'n Admin

Comrade General 5-Star
2005 Mar 21 • 4868
1,227 ₧
Arby's sauce, head-to-toe
nc

You stole Arby's sauce, head-to-toe from a child?
Senator, give me Arby's sauce, head-to-toe and you’ll get my vote.
In future times, the children will work together to build Arby's sauce, head-to-toe.
Steve Jobs thought he could cure his cancer with Arby's sauce, head-to-toe, a naturopathic remedy.
I couldn’t see the eclipse because of Arby's sauce, head-to-toe in the sky.
When the mixture is bubbling, delicately add Arby's sauce, head-to-toe to the pan, while stirring constantly.

 
 
Jul 26 at 10:54 PDT
aaronjer
*****'n Admin

Comrade General 5-Star
2005 Mar 21 • 4868
1,227 ₧
The sweatiest beef ever recorded in history or myth
n

At the new Asian-inspired spot downtown, the chef will prepare the sweatiest beef ever recorded in history or myth right at your table.
Come on down to Golden Corral™ for the sweatiest beef ever recorded in history or myth.
Art can be defined by the sweatiest beef ever recorded in history or myth but only if it gets you floppin’ out my baby door and inspired.
If I was God, you would be the sweatiest beef ever recorded in history or myth.
Senator, give me the sweatiest beef ever recorded in history or myth and you’ll get my vote.
Ich bin ein the sweatiest beef ever recorded in history or myth.

 
 
Jul 26 at 10:54 PDT — Ed. Jul 26 at 10:55 PDT
aaronjer
*****'n Admin

Comrade General 5-Star
2005 Mar 21 • 4868
1,227 ₧
Being a big boy now
v

Being a big boy now is a temporary setback on the road to my innards!
Last night was the tragic result of being a big boy now.
Josh said, on the way in to work today, he swerved around being a big boy now on the freeway.
You wouldn’t think it, but during Prohibition many people were being a big boy now.
I booby-trapped my yard so that trespassers will be surprised by being a big boy now.
Ever since the accident, I freeze in terror at the sight of being a big boy now.

 
 
Jul 26 at 11:00 PDT
Crytax
Ph. D in Cryonics

2006 Apr 26 • 675
11 ₧
While opening credits were rolling, I was distracted by   in the background.

While opening credits were rolling, I was distracted by Morgan Freeman’s larynx in the background.
While opening credits were rolling, I was distracted by a 57-foot-diameter tunnel boring machine in the background.
While opening credits were rolling, I was distracted by a shotgun, a shovel, and a backyard in the background.
While opening credits were rolling, I was distracted by being borderline experimental in the background.
While opening credits were rolling, I was distracted by being the small spoon in the background.
While opening credits were rolling, I was distracted by putting on pants in the background.

What if Gillette WAS the best a man could get?
 
 
Jul 26 at 11:29 PDT — Ed. Jul 26 at 11:30 PDT
Crytax
Ph. D in Cryonics

2006 Apr 26 • 675
11 ₧
A supertanker exploding into flames
n

When I went into the bathroom I swear I saw a supertanker exploding into flames in the mirror! I’m so scared!
The authorities followed the trail of a supertanker exploding into flames, leading them straight to the suspect.
Go, go, Gadget a Supertanker Exploding into Flames!
Use the same action as when puffing your cheeks, but the air should pass into a supertanker exploding into flames and your cheeks should be relaxed.
I tried to sneak out of the store with a supertanker exploding into flames down my pants.
The strongest Sumo training technique is a supertanker exploding into flames.

What if Gillette WAS the best a man could get?
 
 
Jul 26 at 11:32 PDT
Crytax
Ph. D in Cryonics

2006 Apr 26 • 675
11 ₧
You know, ants can carry  . And big chicken legs too. I saw it in a nature documentary.

You know, ants can carry the most beautiful face ever. And big chicken legs too. I saw it in a nature documentary.
You know, ants can carry exploding from both ends. And big chicken legs too. I saw it in a nature documentary.
You know, ants can carry half a spider. And big chicken legs too. I saw it in a nature documentary.
You know, ants can carry keepin’ it tight. And big chicken legs too. I saw it in a nature documentary.
You know, ants can carry Disneyland!. And big chicken legs too. I saw it in a nature documentary.
You know, ants can carry a dollar. And big chicken legs too. I saw it in a nature documentary.

What if Gillette WAS the best a man could get?
 
 
Jul 26 at 11:35 PDT — Ed. Jul 26 at 11:35 PDT
Crytax
Ph. D in Cryonics

2006 Apr 26 • 675
11 ₧
Some kind of a jack-o'-lantern monster
nc

At BASF, we don't *make* some kind of a jack-o'-lantern monster, we make some kind of a jack-o'-lantern monster *better*.
The new Ford F-750 with more torque than some kind of a jack-o'-lantern monster.
I got into my car and sat on some kind of a jack-o'-lantern monster. Slowly, a smile crept over my face.
I Googled for some kind of a jack-o'-lantern monster and found a picture of myself.
So I agree to go up to the apartment, where I find some kind of a jack-o'-lantern monster all lubed up, ready to go. Ew!
My financial analyst has advised me to invest my fortune in some kind of a jack-o'-lantern monster.

What if Gillette WAS the best a man could get?
 
 
Jul 26 at 12:54 PDT
Crytax
Ph. D in Cryonics

2006 Apr 26 • 675
11 ₧
Narrowly escaping death in a sabotaged hot tub
np

I bought narrowly escaping death in a sabotaged hot tub yesterday and now I can’t stop escaping!
I slowly crept up to the bed, whispering, “Get ready for narrowly escaping death in a sabotaged hot tub
At Boeing R&D, we test an email by subjecting it to narrowly escaping death in a sabotaged hot tub and extreme heat.
In this 15th century painting, narrowly escaping death in a sabotaged hot tub is represented by a man with cheese for a head.
When the suspect’s car crashed, narrowly escaping death in a sabotaged hot tub launched from the trunk and landed sixty feet away.
You spent all your food-stamps on narrowly escaping death in a sabotaged hot tub?!

What if Gillette WAS the best a man could get?
 
 
Jul 26 at 15:20 PDT
Crytax
Ph. D in Cryonics

2006 Apr 26 • 675
11 ₧
Brawlin', blastin', and boozin'
nc

Turmoil at Samsung Corp: Several high-ranking employees fired for brawlin', blastin', and boozin'.
Don’t look at me while I’m brawlin', blastin', and boozin'! It messes me up!
I’ll never know why my grandparents find brawlin', blastin', and boozin' so relaxing.
Chimps in the wild have been observed using brawlin', blastin', and boozin' to forage for food.
I met this hot chick online. She says she’s brawlin', blastin', and boozin' and I think I believe her!
Daddy! There’s brawlin', blastin', and boozin' under my bed. Kill it kill it!

What if Gillette WAS the best a man could get?
 
 
Jul 26 at 15:29 PDT
Crytax
Ph. D in Cryonics

2006 Apr 26 • 675
11 ₧
A face dusted with white greasepaint and sparkles
n

You know you have a strong relationship when you can share in a face dusted with white greasepaint and sparkles together.
The media’s nonstop coverage of a face dusted with white greasepaint and sparkles is just to distract us from conjuring.
My dream is to build a face dusted with white greasepaint and sparkles for me and my wife.
The MacBook Air weighs 1.1 lbs and comes with a USB-C port and a face dusted with white greasepaint and sparkles! Groovy!
Back in my day, we only had a face dusted with white greasepaint and sparkles for fun and we LIKED IT.
The Pentagon’s most secure room is for a face dusted with white greasepaint and sparkles.

What if Gillette WAS the best a man could get?
 
 
Jul 26 at 15:34 PDT
Crytax
Ph. D in Cryonics

2006 Apr 26 • 675
11 ₧
Sneezing into your cocaine
v

The dog ate two cocaine guys from the 80s so we’re waiting for sneezing into your cocaine.
At the coffee shop they put “sneezing into your cocaine” on my cup. I ran out covering my face.
Rush hadn’t started playing when a stage effect went off early, ejecting sneezing into your cocaine into the air!
A BBC team has witnessed the effects of sneezing into your cocaine on civilians in rebel-held areas of Syria.
It has been prophesized that the young king will eventually be killed by sneezing into your cocaine.
This land is sneezing into your cocaine land, this land is a system of tunnels leading to key locations land.

What if Gillette WAS the best a man could get?
 
 
Jul 26 at 15:36 PDT
Crytax
Ph. D in Cryonics

2006 Apr 26 • 675
11 ₧
An international crime syndicate
n

Designed as a feature meant to enhance pleasure, the sex toy will robotically call out “an international crime syndicate,” over and over again while in use.
Ok, I’ll admit a twisted horror body creeping down the stairs might have been a bad idea. But to be fair, I didn’t expect it to result in an international crime syndicate.
Don’t leave the door open! An international crime syndicate will get in.
When the beef came at me it was like an international crime syndicate.
“Impossible,” said Pride. “Risky,” said Experience. “Give it a try,” whispered the Heart. That’s when I tried an international crime syndicate.
An international crime syndicate nearly killed me in my dream. I think it’s my brain telling me to avoid the female form.

What if Gillette WAS the best a man could get?
 
 
Jul 26 at 15:41 PDT
Crytax
Ph. D in Cryonics

2006 Apr 26 • 675
11 ₧
Smuggling drugs in imported vases
v

My car looks like it’s smuggling drugs in imported vases but I don’t mind. It gets me from point A to point B.
I went rafting, saw smuggling drugs in imported vases in the river, no big deal.
The shockwave from the mishap at the fireworks factory shattered windows and caused smuggling drugs in imported vases in the streets.
I looked up “smuggling drugs in imported vases” in Urban Dictionary, and apparently its an act involving a massive, hissing centipede.
My dad’s keyboard has a special key for smuggling drugs in imported vases.
While you’re at the store can you pick up smuggling drugs in imported vases, in family size?

What if Gillette WAS the best a man could get?
 
 
Jul 26 at 15:42 PDT
Crytax
Ph. D in Cryonics

2006 Apr 26 • 675
11 ₧
I want   on my desk by Friday morning!

I want my many black friends on my desk by Friday morning!
I want a piece of Lego® in the carpet on my desk by Friday morning!
I want this worthless orphan on my desk by Friday morning!
I want a leopard on my desk by Friday morning!
I want any decent person on my desk by Friday morning!
I want a child with emotional issues on my desk by Friday morning!

What if Gillette WAS the best a man could get?
 
 
Jul 26 at 16:33 PDT
Crytax
Ph. D in Cryonics

2006 Apr 26 • 675
11 ₧
I almost felt I hadn't left home, when we passed   on the road.

I almost felt I hadn't left home, when we passed meat and cheese on the road.
I almost felt I hadn't left home, when we passed rustic-looking shit that hipsters care about on the road.
I almost felt I hadn't left home, when we passed my salvation on the road.
I almost felt I hadn't left home, when we passed being hit by space debris on the road.
I almost felt I hadn't left home, when we passed goin’ up the butt sideways on the road.
I almost felt I hadn't left home, when we passed innocent women and children on the road.

What if Gillette WAS the best a man could get?
 
 
Jul 26 at 16:36 PDT
Crytax
Ph. D in Cryonics

2006 Apr 26 • 675
11 ₧
I'm taking this opportunity to reassess my views on  , and grow as a person.

I'm taking this opportunity to reassess my views on snotbrains, and grow as a person.
I'm taking this opportunity to reassess my views on Katy Perry’s kitty, Kitty Purry, and grow as a person.
I'm taking this opportunity to reassess my views on an old hornet, and grow as a person.
I'm taking this opportunity to reassess my views on a rotting buffalo carcass, and grow as a person.
I'm taking this opportunity to reassess my views on being bred in captivity, and grow as a person.
I'm taking this opportunity to reassess my views on a washtub filled with a potent cocktail of orange juice and whiskey, and grow as a person.

What if Gillette WAS the best a man could get?
 
 
Jul 26 at 16:38 PDT
Crytax
Ph. D in Cryonics

2006 Apr 26 • 675
11 ₧
All inland bodies of water
np

My house. 8 o’clock. All inland bodies of water.
When he reached the New World, Cortés burned all inland bodies of water. As a result, his men were well motivated.
I saw two hobos fighting over all inland bodies of water behind the library. One of them was untwisting.
The cineplex has been using all inland bodies of water in the popcorn machine because it’s cheaper than oil.
When I saw all inland bodies of water I was nervous, but when it started coming toward me, smashing skulls, I freaked!
According to the Senate, the Internet is a series of all inland bodies of water.

What if Gillette WAS the best a man could get?
 
 
Jul 26 at 16:39 PDT
Crytax
Ph. D in Cryonics

2006 Apr 26 • 675
11 ₧
I visited several historic spots around Caracas, like Plaza Bolivar, with the statue to  , who led six South American nations to  .
Play 2

I visited several historic spots around Caracas, like Plaza Bolivar, with the statue to all the time, who led six South American nations to too much wiggling.
I visited several historic spots around Caracas, like Plaza Bolivar, with the statue to a wank, who led six South American nations to a cornhole.
I visited several historic spots around Caracas, like Plaza Bolivar, with the statue to a tattered jockstrap, who led six South American nations to panicking in a Subaru.
I visited several historic spots around Caracas, like Plaza Bolivar, with the statue to Paul Hogan’s oiled chest, who led six South American nations to banging in sodomy butt.
I visited several historic spots around Caracas, like Plaza Bolivar, with the statue to blowing chunks, who led six South American nations to rolling in.
I visited several historic spots around Caracas, like Plaza Bolivar, with the statue to a hollow shell, who led six South American nations to being cooked and eaten.

What if Gillette WAS the best a man could get?
 
 
Jul 26 at 16:42 PDT — Ed. Jul 26 at 16:43 PDT
Crytax
Ph. D in Cryonics

2006 Apr 26 • 675
11 ₧
A mysterious masked swordsman who defends the Mexican peasants and commoners of Las Californias
n

A mysterious masked swordsman who defends the Mexican peasants and commoners of Las Californias is really getting all up in my business!
The secret to a happy marriage: a mysterious masked swordsman who defends the Mexican peasants and commoners of Las Californias.
I love your necklace! It’s a mysterious masked swordsman who defends the Mexican peasants and commoners of Las Californias, right?
It’s lucky to touch a mysterious masked swordsman who defends the Mexican peasants and commoners of Las Californias; it’s even luckier to touch mine.
Holy dogshit, Texas! Only a mysterious masked swordsman who defends the Mexican peasants and commoners of Las Californias and queers come from Texas, Private Cowboy!
Alexander also named a city in India “A Mysterious Masked Swordsman Who Defends the Mexican Peasants and Commoners of Las Californias” after his dead horse.

What if Gillette WAS the best a man could get?
 
 
Jul 26 at 16:49 PDT
todays_wet_sin
websiteman husband
2016 Apr 30 • 113
Bank vaults
np

It’s dangerous to leave bank vaults on the stairs.
I didn’t think this house would sell with bank vaults in the attic.
Don’t look at me while I’m bank vaults! It messes me up!
What the accounting department lacks in attractiveness, we make up for in bank vaults.
Thank you ladies and gentlemen! For my next performance art piece, I will be bank vaults.
Last night was the tragic result of bank vaults.

Creamed Korn
 
 
Jul 26 at 17:25 PDT — Ed. Jul 26 at 17:57 PDT
todays_wet_sin
websiteman husband
2016 Apr 30 • 113
My cat wont stop  {v}. What should I do?

My cat wont stop throwing up in an autistic woman’s lap. What should I do?
My cat wont stop stopping just in time. What should I do?
My cat wont stop terrorizing a small Irish village. What should I do?
My cat wont stop making sure no one sees. What should I do?
My cat wont stop fighting one-on-one. What should I do?
My cat wont stop pushing it deeper. What should I do?

Creamed Korn
 
 
Jul 26 at 17:55 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 6507
A little drop of slime
n

While I was out the Roomba got into a little drop of slime and was smashing skulls.
Amtrak officials confirm a little drop of slime would have prevented train derailment.
The weirdest thing about a little drop of slime is that sometimes even girls have a little drop of slime.
The sun gets its energy from fusing hydrogen into a little drop of slime.
The four schools of ethics: relativism, universalism, utilitarianism, and a little drop of slime.
Man invented lethal radiation, so woman invented a little drop of slime.

 
 
Jul 27 at 12:28 PDT
Crytax
Ph. D in Cryonics

2006 Apr 26 • 675
11 ₧
Today the FBI celebrates its 114th birthday! That's 114 years of   and  , building partnerships, and providing  .
Play 3

Today the FBI celebrates its 114th birthday! That's 114 years of filling my mouth and getting boinked, building partnerships, and providing peeing in the sink.
Today the FBI celebrates its 114th birthday! That's 114 years of quiet poots and increasing in size, building partnerships, and providing damage.
Today the FBI celebrates its 114th birthday! That's 114 years of machine guns and a stolen Army helicopter, building partnerships, and providing pooping for four hours a day.
Today the FBI celebrates its 114th birthday! That's 114 years of bourbon and ball-gags and an elevator, building partnerships, and providing spiders.
Today the FBI celebrates its 114th birthday! That's 114 years of the white man and a syringe of Tabasco, building partnerships, and providing completely wigging out.
Today the FBI celebrates its 114th birthday! That's 114 years of being an overweight bitch and assassinating Kim Jong-un, building partnerships, and providing hatred for children.

What if Gillette WAS the best a man could get?
 
 
Jul 29 at 09:24 PDT — Ed. Jul 29 at 09:25 PDT