SuperJer Against Humanity Suggestions: 3rd Strike

SuperJer Against Humanity Suggestions: 3rd Strike

General — Page 1 2 3 ... 38 39 40 [41] 42 43 44 ... 51 52 53
Crytax
Ph. D in Cryonics

2006 Apr 26 • 675
11 ₧
When writing a story,   is a great way to establish character and create tension.

When writing a story, pandering to the normies is a great way to establish character and create tension.
When writing a story, the female form is a great way to establish character and create tension.
When writing a story, shenanigans is a great way to establish character and create tension.
When writing a story, a complete wimp is a great way to establish character and create tension.
When writing a story, popping out of the ground is a great way to establish character and create tension.
When writing a story, an email is a great way to establish character and create tension.

What if Gillette WAS the best a man could get?
 
 
Jul 14 at 12:59 PDT — Ed. Jul 14 at 12:59 PDT
Crytax
Ph. D in Cryonics

2006 Apr 26 • 675
11 ₧
Does the Coast Guard have a lot of use for  ?

Does the Coast Guard have a lot of use for one thousand scorpions?
Does the Coast Guard have a lot of use for the deceased?
Does the Coast Guard have a lot of use for one more?
Does the Coast Guard have a lot of use for John Wilkes Booth?
Does the Coast Guard have a lot of use for lactating dogs?
Does the Coast Guard have a lot of use for breast meat?

What if Gillette WAS the best a man could get?
 
 
Jul 14 at 14:10 PDT
Crytax
Ph. D in Cryonics

2006 Apr 26 • 675
11 ₧
Flamethrowers
np

Last night I dreamed of flamethrowers. Now I’m really tired.
The Perfect Moscow Mule: One shot of vodka, ginger beer, and a squeeze of flamethrowers. Serve in iodine.
I can’t shake the feeling there’s always flamethrowers just around the corner.
I need help with my computer! I downloaded flamethrowers and now I’m having trouble opening my programs!
At the carnival I went on the thing where you ride flamethrowers.
I’m Angelina Jolie’s lips in the streets, but flamethrowers in the sheets.

What if Gillette WAS the best a man could get?
 
 
Jul 14 at 14:10 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 6507
Destroying the three of you
v

Destroying the three of you nearly killed me in my dream. I think it’s my brain telling me to avoid a sexual encounter.
You’re not a mom! You’re just destroying the three of you!
It’s time to scrape the remains of destroying the three of you off the driveway.
I’m destroying the three of you for Jesus.
Go, go, Gadget Destroying the Three of You!
The N64 was Nintendo’s first console with destroying the three of you.

 
 
Jul 14 at 14:50 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 6507
Grandfather's gaunt face
nc

You’re not a mom! You’re just Grandfather's gaunt face!
The suspect’s pockets were full of pictures of Grandfather's gaunt face.
Grandfather's gaunt face! Grandfather's gaunt face! My kingdom for Grandfather's gaunt face!
Yeah right Charles! I know you’re cheating on me! How do you explain Grandfather's gaunt face?
Ok, I’ll admit Grandfather's gaunt face might have been a bad idea. But to be fair, I didn’t expect it to result in a tickle.
Work on the Taft bridge ground to a halt, due to the union’s demands for Grandfather's gaunt face.

 
 
Jul 14 at 14:51 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 6507
How loose this is
nc

Daddy! There’s how loose this is under my bed. Kill it kill it!
The rich aroma of how loose this is, from the hills of Colombia.
A lifetime of how loose this is awaits. Call now for a free consultation.
Lonely guys in Japan can buy how loose this is that sounds like a girl and will even go to bed with them.
At work I secretly have how loose this is under my desk.
Giggle shits nearly killed me in my dream. I think it’s my brain telling me to avoid how loose this is.



Something really loose
v

Then God said, “Let there be something really loose”; and there was something really loose. And God saw that something really loose was good.
Don Quixote, having never seen a windmill before, instantly assumed it was something really loose and tried to attack it.
I thought I was being attacked, so I defended myself with something really loose.
Ever since the incident with something really loose I’ve been haunted.
PG rated movies cut to something really loose instead of showing sex.
No more something really loose at Starbucks.

 
 
Jul 14 at 14:52 PDT — Ed. Jul 14 at 14:53 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 6507
How loose this is
nc

I saw the twins in the corridor. I froze in terror as they said, “You’ll be how loose this is with us.”
I looked up “how loose this is” in Urban Dictionary, and apparently its an act involving mutual discomfort.
In a world with no rules, one man must be how loose this is. Coming this summer.
Abraham Lincoln wrestled with depression, but that did not keep him from how loose this is.
Always makes me hungry when I see the butcher shop with how loose this is hanging in the window.
Today the Senate is voting on how loose this is.



Something really loose
nc

I prayed to God for something really loose, and God delivered!
I checked my son’s browser history. Found links about something really loose. Should I talk to him?
Parents are upset with the Spider-Man balloons I sold. The hole makes them look like they’re something really loose.
I got so drunk last night that I got something really loose all over everyone and everything.
My father abandoned my mother and I because he was something really loose.
I dug around for hours in the trash but never found something really loose.


 
 
Jul 14 at 14:54 PDT — Ed. Jul 14 at 14:54 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 6507
Taking a fat piss
v

This year’s hottest new fashion is taking a fat piss on your head.
Don’t take a fat piss alone! Join the Take a Fat Piss Club and do it with others.
Taking a fat piss is known to the state of California to cause cancer.
I will do anything for a leather swing. But I won’t take a fat piss!
I’ll never know why my grandparents find taking a fat piss so relaxing.
Sometimes I feel out of place at the gym then I look to my left and see taking a fat piss, and I feel better.

 
 
Jul 14 at 15:05 PDT — Ed. Jul 14 at 19:05 PDT
Crytax
Ph. D in Cryonics

2006 Apr 26 • 675
11 ₧
A wide-awake nightmare
n

There’s a wide-awake nightmare convention going on and everybody is gonna be there.
No one in Morocco can be a wide-awake nightmare without registering with the government.
Use the same action as when puffing your cheeks, but the air should pass into a wide-awake nightmare and your cheeks should be relaxed.
Vampires can only be killed by a wide-awake nightmare.
I prayed to God for a wide-awake nightmare, and God delivered!
At the mall Santa kiosk, the elves were caught sneaking a wide-awake nightmare into women’s purses and bags.

What if Gillette WAS the best a man could get?
 
 
Jul 14 at 16:13 PDT
Crytax
Ph. D in Cryonics

2006 Apr 26 • 675
11 ₧
A noisy, loony henchman
n

I went rafting, saw a noisy, loony henchman in the river, no big deal.
Life Hack: use Band-Aids to stick a noisy, loony henchman to your family photo.
Alexander also named a city in India “A Noisy, Loony Henchman” after his dead horse.
A noisy, loony henchman is always a contest when I’m involved.
When a noisy, loony henchman hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that’s amore!
I have a noisy, loony henchman. The cat won’t stop staring at me.

What if Gillette WAS the best a man could get?
 
 
Jul 14 at 16:16 PDT
Crytax
Ph. D in Cryonics

2006 Apr 26 • 675
11 ₧
Drawing a gun and pistol whipping a man
v

Throughout human history, drawing a gun and pistol whipping a man has been the first activity of explorers of any new region.
Can you call poison control? My daughter just swallowed drawing a gun and pistol whipping a man.
I go to Hooters, yeah, but only for drawing a gun and pistol whipping a man!
I’m gonna prove the link between drawing a gun and pistol whipping a man and beef curtains! You’ll all see!
These special lenses help you see the horrible truth of her cooter: drawing a gun and pistol whipping a man.
The police failed to catch the fleeing suspect because of drawing a gun and pistol whipping a man.

What if Gillette WAS the best a man could get?
 
 
Jul 14 at 16:19 PDT — Ed. Jul 14 at 16:20 PDT
Crytax
Ph. D in Cryonics

2006 Apr 26 • 675
11 ₧
Burglarizing the police evidence locker
v

J. Robert Oppenheimer is often called the father of burglarizing the police evidence locker.
Steve Jobs thought he could cure his cancer with burglarizing the police evidence locker, a naturopathic remedy.
Let Martha host your next party, providing burglarizing the police evidence locker like you’ve never experienced before.
When I think South America, I feel burglarizing the police evidence locker.
Could you buy me burglarizing the police evidence locker? I’ll pay you back.
I don’t need love because I’m burglarizing the police evidence locker. Sorry mom!

What if Gillette WAS the best a man could get?
 
 
Jul 14 at 16:20 PDT
Crytax
Ph. D in Cryonics

2006 Apr 26 • 675
11 ₧
Terrible, irredeemable grief
nc

At the skating rink there was terrible, irredeemable grief and everyone fell down at once.
Ich bin ein terrible, irredeemable grief.
It has been prophesized that the young king will eventually be killed by terrible, irredeemable grief.
World of Warcraft is adding a new character class so you can play as terrible, irredeemable grief.
I heard you were talking about terrible, irredeemable grief so I had to come over!
For science class we went on a field trip to see how terrible, irredeemable grief happens.

What if Gillette WAS the best a man could get?
 
 
Jul 14 at 16:58 PDT
Crytax
Ph. D in Cryonics

2006 Apr 26 • 675
11 ₧
A schnauzer in a dinosaur costume
n

Sean Connery famously likes to spend his whole vacation in a beach chair with a schnauzer in a dinosaur costume in his lap.
Can I get some floss? There’s a schnauzer in a dinosaur costume between my teeth.
I went rafting, saw a schnauzer in a dinosaur costume in the river, no big deal.
I actually clicked page 2 on Google cuz I was so desperate searching for a schnauzer in a dinosaur costume.
The sun gets its energy from fusing hydrogen into a schnauzer in a dinosaur costume.
Oh no! Obama put a schnauzer in a dinosaur costume in the water to turn the frogs gay!

What if Gillette WAS the best a man could get?
 
 
Jul 14 at 16:59 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 6507
Two Teslas crashing into each other over and over
np

Science never solves a problem without creating two Teslas crashing into each other over and over.
While I was out the dog chewed into the packaging on two Teslas crashing into each other over and over. I found him lifting off the toilet.
Two Teslas crashing into each other over and over from the Ohio county fair to be destroyed due to infection.
Any man who can drive safely while kissing two Teslas crashing into each other over and over is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves.
In the third world, luxuries like two Teslas crashing into each other over and over are an alien concept.
Opioids help people with two Teslas crashing into each other over and over, but then they can’t poop.

 
 
Jul 14 at 18:18 PDT — Ed. Jul 14 at 18:18 PDT
todays_wet_sin
websiteman husband
2016 Apr 30 • 113
TITS TITS!
nc

When the stadium was demolished it revealed TITS TITS!, bringing onlookers from far and wide.
My wife is WAY better at TITS TITS! than me! How have I kept her happy for all these years
I was surprised to find bones in TITS TITS!. Is that normal?
The refugees must be relocated because the shelter is right on top of TITS TITS!.
Brooklyn mom makes $20,000 a week! How, you ask? TITS TITS!.
As the A.I. robot gained self-awareness, it immediately began TITS TITS!.

Creamed Korn
 
 
Jul 14 at 19:01 PDT — Ed. Jul 14 at 19:02 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 6507
A Russian couple taught a bear how to be  .

A Russian couple taught a bear how to make out.
A Russian couple taught a bear how to wriggle and thrashing.
A Russian couple taught a bear how to be carted away.
A Russian couple taught a bear how to be the taste of Rohypnol.
A Russian couple taught a bear how to inhale .
A Russian couple taught a bear how to be claws.

 
 
Jul 14 at 19:09 PDT — Ed. Jul 14 at 19:13 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 6507
We can be  {v}. And no one has to know.

We can force-feed a bird. And no one has to know.
We can be dick slapping. And no one has to know.
We can do it again. And no one has to know.
We can pick at it. And no one has to know.
We can touch your vaggie while sleeping. And no one has to know.
We can prove she’s a witch. And no one has to know.

 
 
Jul 14 at 19:14 PDT — Ed. Jul 14 at 19:18 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 6507
I'm working on a thing to make it so if you put "... be _" and a verb goes in there like "be cooking" it will just simplify to "cook"
 
 
Jul 14 at 19:15 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 6507
If I was God, you would be  {i}.

If I was God, you would be John Wilkes Booth.
If I was God, you would be big pants.
If I was God, you would be unexpected penetration.
If I was God, you would be some guy named Darryl.
If I was God, you would pop out of the ground.
If I was God, you would wait to kill.



Mating for life
v

Throughout human history, mating for life has been the first activity of explorers of any new region.
I think a lot of people would pay to see mating for life.
Dear diary, today I went into the city and saw mating for life for the first time!
Designed as a feature meant to enhance pleasure, the sex toy will robotically call out “mating for life,” over and over again while in use.
R Kelly fantasizes about mating for life with a young Beyonce.
If Benjamin Franklin didn’t invent mating for life, certainly others would have.

 
 
Jul 14 at 19:20 PDT — Ed. Jul 14 at 20:16 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 6507
Dangerous thoughts
np

Lot’s of people drive down to Portland for dangerous thoughts.
After his weird, embarrassing defeat, the wrestler earned his nickname “dangerous thoughts
Cambodia’s economy is entirely dependent on dangerous thoughts.
J. Robert Oppenheimer is often called the father of dangerous thoughts.
The Great Wall was actually built to keep dangerous thoughts out of mainland China.
Nordstrom’s return policy is so customer-friendly, a woman once returned dangerous thoughts there.

 
 
Jul 15 at 11:36 PDT — Ed. Jul 15 at 11:37 PDT
Crytax
Ph. D in Cryonics

2006 Apr 26 • 675
11 ₧
One of the many, many inept action scenes
np

Welcome to factory. This machine over here makes one of the many, many inept action scenes.
No thanks. My doctor said one of the many, many inept action scenes makes defecation painful.
In protest, Gandhi swore to abstain from one of the many, many inept action scenes.
When the suspect’s car crashed, one of the many, many inept action scenes launched from the trunk and landed sixty feet away.
4 out of 5 doctors recommend one of the many, many inept action scenes.
For 35 years I’ve done this job for the same pay, one of the many, many inept action scenes every single day.

What if Gillette WAS the best a man could get?
 
 
Jul 15 at 15:32 PDT
Crytax
Ph. D in Cryonics

2006 Apr 26 • 675
11 ₧
A coconut cream pie
n

PG rated movies cut to a coconut cream pie instead of showing sex.
The new Fallout DLC will allow you to recruit an angry buttplug for the man and acquire a coconut cream pie!
Melt the butter and spread it across a coconut cream pie, then pop it in the oven for 20 minutes for a treat!
The night before Easter, we’ll set up a coconut cream pie on the porch to surprise the kids.
Howdy neighbor, love your azalea bush! Let’s get a coconut cream pie sometime!
Easy Mac is good, but the white cheddar one kinda tastes like a coconut cream pie.

What if Gillette WAS the best a man could get?
 
 
Jul 15 at 15:38 PDT
Crytax
Ph. D in Cryonics

2006 Apr 26 • 675
11 ₧
During  , I couldn’t’ help but notice  .
Play 2

During the alpha male, I couldn’t’ help but notice a car crash.
During a deflating balloon, I couldn’t’ help but notice emergency bacon.
During the instructions, I couldn’t’ help but notice a close friend.
During donkeydump, I couldn’t’ help but notice hindquarters.
During poorly orchestrated group sex, I couldn’t’ help but notice an imitation poop spiral.
During hyperactive legs, I couldn’t’ help but notice body parts of celebrities.

What if Gillette WAS the best a man could get?
 
 
Jul 15 at 15:43 PDT
Crytax
Ph. D in Cryonics

2006 Apr 26 • 675
11 ₧
All of the various continuity errors
np

Thank you ladies and gentlemen! For my next performance art piece, I will be all of the various continuity errors.
Some anarchist made the sign over the expressway say “THE STATE IS ALL OF THE VARIOUS CONTINUITY ERRORS.”
The 13 colonies were founded on the principles of liberty, brotherhood, and all of the various continuity errors.
I’m glad you’re my new roomie, my last one was always all of the various continuity errors. Always.
Sky watchers are excited to gaze upon the Super Blood Moon, which is caused by all of the various continuity errors.
The all of the various continuity errors story is a hoax! Just an excuse by the elites for wildly swinging middle fingers!

What if Gillette WAS the best a man could get?
 
 
Jul 15 at 15:43 PDT