SuperJer Against Humanity Suggestions: 3rd Strike

SuperJer Against Humanity Suggestions: 3rd Strike

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Crytax
Ph. D in Cryonics

2006 Apr 26 • 348
11 ₧
Getting into a first-fight with a reporter
v

The four schools of ethics: relativism, universalism, utilitarianism, and getting into a first-fight with a reporter.
The media’s nonstop coverage of my swollen jaw is just to distract us from getting into a first-fight with a reporter.
Someone get Michael! His girlfriend is drunk, up on the table, and she’s getting into a first-fight with a reporter.
My spirit animal: getting into a first-fight with a reporter.
All the best love stories include getting into a first-fight with a reporter.
When I was bodybuilding I tried to dead-lift a girl who knows what she wants, but not quite how to get it over my head, but getting into a first-fight with a reporter got in the way.



A world of entertainment
nc

The hardware store didn’t have a world of entertainment left, so I got a crouton.
Help! I’m a world of entertainment and I need YOU to do something about it!
I’ve got a master’s degree in a World of Entertainment!
If you do it right, booze is all about a world of entertainment.
We are going to taxidermy a world of entertainment to make a statue out of it!
I’m a little sack of ball sacks in the streets, but a world of entertainment in the sheets.



A fiery pit of failure
nc

The terrorists will execute a fiery pit of failure every 20 minutes until they receive a harbor for your unclean thoughts.
A fiery pit of failure is always a contest when I’m involved.
If you’re interested in my services, email me at: mr-president@a-fiery-pit-of-failure.biz
This one simple trick is all you need to spice up the bedroom: a fiery pit of failure.
I was surprised to find bones in a fiery pit of failure. Is that normal?
Getting a fiery pit of failure back out of a volcano is next to impossible.



Shakespeare once wrote: “The world is a stage, and the stage is  !”

Shakespeare once wrote: “The world is a stage, and the stage is a guillotine!”
Shakespeare once wrote: “The world is a stage, and the stage is throwing a 9 year old!”
Shakespeare once wrote: “The world is a stage, and the stage is masturbating furiously!”
Shakespeare once wrote: “The world is a stage, and the stage is a submissive sex android!”
Shakespeare once wrote: “The world is a stage, and the stage is a little surprise incest!”
Shakespeare once wrote: “The world is a stage, and the stage is nothing at all!”



  is the purest kind of entertainment.

mistaking a man for a lady is the purest kind of entertainment.
being carted away is the purest kind of entertainment.
a needle is the purest kind of entertainment.
a scimitar twirling terrorist is the purest kind of entertainment.
the taxpayers is the purest kind of entertainment.
a man in a meat suit is the purest kind of entertainment.


What if Gillette WAS the best a man could get?
 
 
Feb 13 at 22:15 PST — Ed. Feb 13 at 22:17 PST
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 6294
A woman screaming, "I don't want to live!"
n

Instructions unclear: got a woman screaming, "I don't want to live!" stuck in the digital bonus pack.
USGS seismologist Lucy Jones said the 5.1 quake has a 5% chance of being a woman screaming, "I don't want to live!".
In North Korea, instead of streetlights, they have traffic ladies that stand in a woman screaming, "I don't want to live!" in the middle of each intersection.
The area around Fukushima has become a ghost town with a woman screaming, "I don't want to live!" slowly overtaking the buildings.
Oh no! Obama put mammaries in the water to turn a woman screaming, "I don't want to live!" gay!
drilling into the brain is where a woman screaming, "I don't want to live!" goes to die.

 
 
Feb 14 at 14:40 PST
aaronjer
*****'n Admin

Comrade General 5-Star
2005 Mar 21 • 4623
1,227 ₧
A safe place for Harrison Ford
n

Always makes me hungry when I see the butcher shop with a safe place for Harrison Ford hanging in the window.
The main ingredient in a safe place for Harrison Ford is the tickle zone.
If Benjamin Franklin didn’t invent a safe place for Harrison Ford, certainly others would have.
I’m late to my meeting for a safe place for Harrison Ford.
No more a safe place for Harrison Ford at Starbucks.
During the half-time show, a rip in this asshole exposed a safe place for Harrison Ford to the audience.

 
 
Feb 19 at 01:58 PST — Ed. Feb 19 at 02:00 PST
aaronjer
*****'n Admin

Comrade General 5-Star
2005 Mar 21 • 4623
1,227 ₧
The bathroom I was raped in
n

This ship’s gonna sink unless we throw the bathroom I was raped in overboard!
We need more black cards! Maybe another one about the bathroom I was raped in, but with Tony’s prison baby!
My financial analyst has advised me to invest my fortune in the bathroom I was raped in.
President Reagan and his entire cabinet got the bathroom I was raped in before every meeting.
The thief was caught stealing a crack in the sky from the sultan, and so was thrown into the pit of the bathroom I was raped in.
Nut sack hairs is a temporary setback on the road to the bathroom I was raped in!

 
 
Feb 21 at 18:43 PST
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 6294
I 3d printed  {n}!

I 3d printed my front fat!
I 3d printed anorexia!
I 3d printed a coming horrific hell!
I 3d printed peach vodka!
I 3d printed a fun game!
I 3d printed an accident!

 
 
Feb 22 at 22:39 PST — Ed. Mar 2 at 11:20 PST
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 6294
Being peeled and eaten
v

The new bill before congress would require being peeled and eaten in all K-through-12 classrooms.
If being peeled and eaten were in the Olympics, Canada would be in great shape!
For Halloween we’re peeling Christopher Lloyd holding a dog so it feels like eyeballs, and we made being peeled and eaten so it feels like brains.
Terrified, I scrambled up the tree, with sliced vegetables jumping and nipping at me from below and even being peeled and eaten.
I met this hot chick online. She says she’s being peeled and eaten and I think I believe her!
I go to Hooters, yeah, but only for being peeled and eaten!

 
 
Mar 4 at 18:05 PST
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 6294
A bloodthirsty viking
n

We put a bloodthirsty viking in your tea!
Last night was the tragic result of a bloodthirsty viking.
Opioids help people with a bloodthirsty viking, but then they can’t poop.
People in Taiwan are getting a bloodthirsty viking implanted in their bodies for putting the “I” back in “team”.
No more a bloodthirsty viking at Starbucks.
Aww! My mom packed a terrible lunch: Butt magic and a bloodthirsty viking.

 
 
Mar 6 at 11:28 PST — Ed. Mar 6 at 11:29 PST
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 6294
A small amount of food
n

I can tell my mom’s car because of the bumper sticker: Proud Mom of a Small Amount of Food.
McDonald’s combo menu #3: Double Quarter Pounder with Cheese, a large Coke, and a side of a small amount of food.
Although moving away from a small amount of food proved effective for schools, the switch to iodine initially led to a spike of child hospitalizations.
Opinions are like a small amount of food. Everybody’s got one and they all stink.
A billboard on my way home had a picture of a small amount of food and the words “killing again”. I don’t get it!
World of Warcraft is adding a new character class so you can play as a small amount of food equipped with a time machine.

 
 
Mar 10 at 15:24 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 6294
Hollering into an uncaring void
v

Indiana Jones grabbed the idol and Princess Perfect came rolling after him, but he escaped by hollering into an uncaring void!
My daughter came home crying because the kids at school said she was hollering into an uncaring void.
The government says chemtrails from planes are just condensation. But we know they’re hollering into an uncaring void!
I’m getting a heroin-caked frying pan locked in a safe installed in my car, so I can be hollering into an uncaring void while I drive.
If you have a dream about my DNA, it means you’re worried about hollering into an uncaring void.
Online trolls taught Microsoft’s teen girl AI to spew propaganda about hollering into an uncaring void.

 
 
Mar 26 at 12:15 PDT — Ed. Mar 26 at 15:22 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 6294
My denim skirt
n

My wife printed me a certifcate for my denim skirt. I’m excited for tonight!
Chimps in the wild have been observed using my denim skirt to forage for food.
Don Quixote, having never seen a windmill before, instantly assumed it was my denim skirt and tried to attack it.
In Arizona, because of the heat, they hand out my denim skirt for free on every corner.
President Reagan and his entire cabinet got my denim skirt before every meeting.
Today’s baseball game was called off when an irate fan threw my denim skirt at a player from the stands.

 
 
Mar 26 at 15:01 PDT — Ed. Mar 26 at 15:01 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 6294
Joe Biden has been accused of  {v} for stress relief.

Joe Biden has been accused of hiding some pee for stress relief.
Joe Biden has been accused of wanting blood for stress relief.
Joe Biden has been accused of walking backwards into John Cena for stress relief.
Joe Biden has been accused of thinking about spiders for stress relief.
Joe Biden has been accused of bringing about the apocalypse for stress relief.
Joe Biden has been accused of killing Kim Jong-un for stress relief.

 
 
Mar 26 at 15:22 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 6294
The 'Rona
nc

And my mother said, “How come you’re not The 'Rona like your brother?”
Dwayne Johnson has a secret tattoo that reads, “secret Jews,” with a picture of The 'Rona.
The survey team detected The 'Rona at the work site so I threw hatred for children in my truck and drove straight there.
The ‘quick-set cement moth’ has adapted to feed on The 'Rona, and hide under the most beautiful face ever in cities and towns to spin its cocoon.
Come on down to Golden Corral™ for The 'Rona.
My daughter came home crying because the kids at school said she was The 'Rona.

 
 
Mar 26 at 15:23 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 6294
On my Animal Crossing island, I removed all the  {p}. Now there's  {p} everywhere.
Play 2

On my Animal Crossing island, I removed all the three babies in a backpack. Now there's KA-BLAM!! everywhere.
On my Animal Crossing island, I removed all the wrestling alligators. Now there's demons everywhere.
On my Animal Crossing island, I removed all the hot sparks. Now there's giggle shits everywhere.
On my Animal Crossing island, I removed all the body parts of celebrities. Now there's hot biscuits & gravy everywhere.
On my Animal Crossing island, I removed all the your sisters. Now there's pretty girls getting killed everywhere.
On my Animal Crossing island, I removed all the sizzling assholes. Now there's maggots everywhere.

 
 
Mar 26 at 15:25 PDT — Ed. Mar 26 at 15:26 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 6294
Peeing, and then stopping peeing
vt

Guys. Guys! Nothing but the truth is getting a little close to peeing, and then stopping peeing!
I never expected to be fingered by peeing, and then stopping peeing.
If you’re interested in my services, email me at: that-dirty-little-louse@peeing-and-then-stopping-peeing.biz
I need help with my computer! I downloaded the cruel ambition of my father and now I’m having trouble with peeing, and then stopping peeing.
If you see your dog scooting his butt on the carpet, it probably mean he’s peeing, and then stopping peeing.
Tomorrow the city is throwing a ticker-tape to celebrate peeing, and then stopping peeing.

 
 
Mar 26 at 17:40 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 6294
Getting rawdogged in a cornfield
v

If you’re interested in my services, email me at: getting-rawdogged-in-a-cornfield@twerking-while-uncontrollably-farting.biz
Watch me going as deep as possible. Now watch me getting rawdogged in a cornfield.
During the war, German scientists experimented with getting rawdogged in a cornfield to weaponize 19GB of horseporn.
The patient kept screaming about “getting rawdogged in a cornfield”. Then, right on the operating table, his stomach burst open and a menacing spike emerged!
Each Hole, Sequentially is an elite black ops unit of the United States Army that was established by getting rawdogged in a cornfield.
At my workplace, robots have replaced the humans for getting rawdogged in a cornfield and kicking the door down at the assembly line.

 
 
Mar 31 at 02:00 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 6294
I banged both my shins into  {n} in the garage.

I banged both my shins into a spooky mummy in the garage.
I banged both my shins into its opposite in the garage.
I banged both my shins into party bitches in the garage.
I banged both my shins into bedtime in the garage.
I banged both my shins into the Dutch oven in the garage.
I banged both my shins into a real jerk-off in the garage.

 
 
Apr 9 at 01:43 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 6294
Starting a religion
v

I like Japanese people because you can never tell if they are starting a religion or getting slathered
Are you there God? It’s me, starting a religion.
When I saw dudes I was nervous, but when it started coming toward me, starting a religion, I freaked!
Amtrak officials confirm starting a religion would have prevented train derailment.
There is a rumor that Marilyn Manson had a cold hearted assassin removed so he could be starting a religion.
I went rafting, saw starting a religion in the river, no big deal.

 
 
Apr 14 at 11:59 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 6294
Getting bumped off a cliff
v

I didn’t think this house would sell with spike traps in the attic. Anyway, I’m getting bumped off a cliff.
Getting bumped off a cliff is known to the state of California to cause cancer.
I’m late to my meeting for getting bumped off a cliff.
When the beef came at me it was like getting bumped off a cliff.
John “getting bumped off a cliff” Smith. The genius who brought us jabbing people in the eye.
We can be getting bumped off a cliff. And no one has to know.

 
 
Apr 15 at 02:50 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 6294
Struggling families
np

Sean Connery famously likes to spend his whole vacation in a beach chair with struggling families in his lap.
Up next, you won’t believe what our secret cameras caught: struggling families lying on the floor, cheering!
This is my second kid. My first one came out as struggling families.
The rich aroma of struggling families, from the hills of Colombia.
Class, turn to page 100 and start reading “Struggling Families and You”.
Last Christmas, I gave you struggling families. The very next day, you gave it away.

 
 
Apr 22 at 18:21 PDT — Ed. Apr 22 at 18:21 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 6294
A butt pooping
n

Is there a free outlet? I need to plug in and charge a butt pooping.
My kids keep installing a butt pooping on the computer and I think it’s making it slow.
Indiana Jones grabbed the idol and a butt pooping came rolling after him, but he escaped by getting it on!
This workplace has gone (0) days without a butt pooping.
But I promised I would get my kids a butt pooping for Christmas!
I was surprised to find bones in a butt pooping. Is that normal?

 
 
Apr 22 at 18:22 PDT — Ed. Apr 22 at 18:24 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 6294
They had to remove   from Iron Man 4 to appease China.

They had to remove hiding the elderly from Iron Man 4 to appease China.
They had to remove both me and your father from Iron Man 4 to appease China.
They had to remove monkeying around from Iron Man 4 to appease China.
They had to remove my butt surgery from Iron Man 4 to appease China.
They had to remove a cage built for an autistic student from Iron Man 4 to appease China.
They had to remove a dream from Iron Man 4 to appease China.

 
 
Apr 22 at 18:23 PDT
Crytax
Ph. D in Cryonics

2006 Apr 26 • 348
11 ₧
Just once, I'd like to hear you say "Thanks, Mom. Thanks for  ."

Just once, I'd like to hear you say "Thanks, Mom. Thanks for unbelievably beautiful hair."
Just once, I'd like to hear you say "Thanks, Mom. Thanks for awesome lectures."
Just once, I'd like to hear you say "Thanks, Mom. Thanks for a plump, lazy hyena."
Just once, I'd like to hear you say "Thanks, Mom. Thanks for existential ennui."
Just once, I'd like to hear you say "Thanks, Mom. Thanks for lubricant."
Just once, I'd like to hear you say "Thanks, Mom. Thanks for Milla Jovovich’s dirty underwear."



An Oedipus complex
n

Indiana Jones grabbed the idol and an Oedipus complex came rolling after him, but he escaped by torturing your family!
In a world with a body pillow with a penis murdering everyone who is different from you, one man must overcome an Oedipus complex. Coming this summer.
Life without love is like an Oedipus complex without a collar that blows up your head if you try to leave or fruit.
The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for 30 years she served my family nothing but an Oedipus complex.
This year’s hottest album is “An Oedipus Complex” by So Much Raw Meat.
Alexander also named a city in India “An Oedipus Complex” after his dead horse.

What if Gillette WAS the best a man could get?
 
 
Apr 26 at 14:14 PDT
Nezumi
Asshole Admin

1-Up Medal
2005 Mar 26 • 633
175 ₧
My fragile naked pink body
nc

New extreme Mountain Dew™ flavor: My Fragile Naked Pink Body Blast!
My financial analyst has advised me to invest my fortune in my fragile naked pink body.
I would accept the internship at the Whitehouse, but I’m afraid the president will tickle my fragile naked pink body.
Cambodia’s economy is entirely dependent on my fragile naked pink body.
Mortally wounded by three shots to his abdomen, the Secret Service agent returned fire, killing the assassin with my fragile naked pink body.
Thanks for my fragile naked pink body last night. *wink* *wink*

 
 
Apr 26 at 21:08 PDT
Nezumi
Asshole Admin

1-Up Medal
2005 Mar 26 • 633
175 ₧
Daddy's little grandpa
nc

There is no “I” in “team” but there is an “I” in “daddy's little grandpa”.
Kirkland mom makes $20,000 a week with daddy's little grandpa.
Doctor, you’re a genius! No one has ever thought to use competitive masturbation to treat daddy's little grandpa!
12th street is closed due to a man in a tree throwing daddy's little grandpa at cars and passers-by.
Chewing on cars like a giant titanium allosaurus with daddy's little grandpa is a uniquely British problem.
Ever since the incident with daddy's little grandpa I’ve been haunted by a pig on top.

 
 
Apr 26 at 21:17 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 6294
Acupuncturing the dog
v

I booby-trapped my yard so that trespassers will be surprised by acupuncturing the dog.
The rich aroma of acupuncturing the dog, from the hills of Colombia.
Our own biological child travelled over 20 feet after acupuncturing the dog.
If Benjamin Franklin didn’t invent acupuncturing the dog, certainly others would have.
Apparently, “Acupuncturing the Dog” is a dance move in the Hip-Hop and B-Boy community.
I noticed symptoms of compost, so I went to my naturopathic doctor. He said, “it’s acupuncturing the dog!” but I’m not sure.

 
 
Apr 30 at 22:57 PDT
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