SuperJer Against Humanity Suggestions: 3rd Strike

SuperJer Against Humanity Suggestions: 3rd Strike

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aaronjer
*****'n Admin

Comrade General 5-Star
2005 Mar 21 • 4873
1,227 ₧
The pee of women
nc

The sun gets its energy from fusing hydrogen into the pee of women.
I came with steers and queers to school to show my friends, but stupid Billy Carter brought the pee of women so nobody even noticed!
James Bond will return in “The Man With the pee of women”!
Opioids help people with the pee of women, but then they can’t poop.
Today I bought Nicki Minaj’s hot pants from the back of a van. They also threw in the pee of women, which I didn’t even think was legal.
In school we’re learning about the beginning of the Civil War: The Battle of the Pee of Women.

 
 
Mar 25 at 12:03 PDT
aaronjer
*****'n Admin

Comrade General 5-Star
2005 Mar 21 • 4873
1,227 ₧
Almost non-stop orgasms
np

Last thing I hear before the anesthesia kicks in is my neurosurgeon saying he’s almost non-stop orgasms.
The government should stop wasting my tax dollars on almost non-stop orgasms.
Josh said, on the way in to work today, he swerved around almost non-stop orgasms on the freeway.
The government says chemtrails from planes are just condensation. But we know they’re almost non-stop orgasms!
At the Amazon Go store you can grab almost non-stop orgasms and walk right out the door without murdering someone through the internet.
Disneyland has a zero-tolerance policy for almost non-stop orgasms.

 
 
Mar 27 at 09:36 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 6512
Shhh! I need help making   look like an accident.

Shhh! I need help making an accident look like an accident.
Shhh! I need help making another hole in the head look like an accident.
Shhh! I need help making a suitcase full of guns and money look like an accident.
Shhh! I need help making a slut who deserved it look like an accident.
Shhh! I need help making three carrots look like an accident.
Shhh! I need help making chocolate? Or maybe poop look like an accident.



Making it look like an accident
v

Life without love is like making it look like an accident without fruit.
While I was out the dog chewed into the packaging on her penis. I found him making it look like an accident.
Yeah right Charles! I know you’re cheating on me! How do you explain making it look like an accident?
Amtrak officials confirm making it look like an accident would have prevented train derailment.
My usual at Starbucks is a Grande Caramel Making-it-look-like-an-accident-iatto with whip and sprinkles.
You evaded my “Making It Look like an Accident” attack! Most impressive.

 
 
Mar 28 at 13:19 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 6512
I swear this was an accident!
 
 
Mar 28 at 13:21 PDT — Ed. Mar 28 at 13:21 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 6512
Traditionally, in depictions of Adam and Eve, a fig leaf is placed over  {n}.

Traditionally, in depictions of Adam and Eve, a fig leaf is placed over a real butt-toucher.
Traditionally, in depictions of Adam and Eve, a fig leaf is placed over his holiness the pope.
Traditionally, in depictions of Adam and Eve, a fig leaf is placed over a box of wine.
Traditionally, in depictions of Adam and Eve, a fig leaf is placed over a secret elevator button.
Traditionally, in depictions of Adam and Eve, a fig leaf is placed over a tickle.
Traditionally, in depictions of Adam and Eve, a fig leaf is placed over success.

 
 
Mar 29 at 15:18 PDT
aaronjer
*****'n Admin

Comrade General 5-Star
2005 Mar 21 • 4873
1,227 ₧
Once they repealed the law, everybody started fuckin'  .

Once they repealed the law, everybody started fuckin' a big dang deal.
Once they repealed the law, everybody started fuckin' getting boinked.
Once they repealed the law, everybody started fuckin' distended tubes.
Once they repealed the law, everybody started fuckin' backing up on it.
Once they repealed the law, everybody started fuckin' so many freakin’ cats.
Once they repealed the law, everybody started fuckin' a friend.

 
 
Mar 30 at 19:07 PDT
aaronjer
*****'n Admin

Comrade General 5-Star
2005 Mar 21 • 4873
1,227 ₧
My daddy giving me what I deserve
v

When I saw a list of names I was nervous, but when it started coming toward me, my daddy giving me what I deserve, I freaked!
At my workplace, robots have replaced the humans for my daddy giving me what I deserve at the assembly line.
And my mother said, “How come you’re not my daddy giving me what I deserve like your brother?”
“D” is for my daddy giving me what I deserve.
People are freaking out because the new Happy Meal PEZ® dispenser is my daddy giving me what I deserve.
I chipped my tooth. My dentist said I’m lucky it wasn’t my daddy giving me what I deserve.

 
 
Apr 2 at 13:22 PDT
aaronjer
*****'n Admin

Comrade General 5-Star
2005 Mar 21 • 4873
1,227 ₧
A feline anus
n

I buried my treasure under a feline anus so you’d never find it!
James Bond will return in “The Man With a feline anus”!
The dog is barking at a feline anus again.
Cosmetic surgeons hate this! A feline anus can increase your breast size in three weeks!
Always hold on to a feline anus to remember me.
Chase bank is giving out a feline anus this week if you open an account and put $100 in it.

 
 
Apr 8 at 12:31 PDT
aaronjer
*****'n Admin

Comrade General 5-Star
2005 Mar 21 • 4873
1,227 ₧
A closet full of sex-crazed housecats
n

Men, like a closet full of sex-crazed housecats, go farthest when they are adding alcohol.
I get chills when a closet full of sex-crazed housecats brushes against my leg.
Last thing I hear before the anesthesia kicks in is my neurosurgeon saying he’s a closet full of sex-crazed housecats.
As an homage to humanity, NASA has broadcasted a closet full of sex-crazed housecats to the vastness of space.
I think a lot of people would pay to see a closet full of sex-crazed housecats.
At my full potential, I’m a closet full of sex-crazed housecats.

 
 
Apr 10 at 11:31 PDT
aaronjer
*****'n Admin

Comrade General 5-Star
2005 Mar 21 • 4873
1,227 ₧
My big boy underpants
n

I can tell my mom’s car because of the bumper sticker: Proud Mom of My Big Boy Underpants.
When the celestial spheres align, my big boy underpants will descend from the heavens.
At the carnival I went on the thing where you ride my big boy underpants.
While you’re at the store can you pick up my big boy underpants, in family size?
In future times, the children will work together to build my big boy underpants.
If you have a dream about school, it means you’re worried about my big boy underpants.

 
 
Apr 10 at 17:07 PDT
aaronjer
*****'n Admin

Comrade General 5-Star
2005 Mar 21 • 4873
1,227 ₧
Takin' a peek at m'balls
v

In public restrooms, I’m always afraid someone will walk in, right while I’m takin' a peek at m'balls.
Ever since the incident with takin' a peek at m'balls I’ve been haunted.
I don’t give money to the homeless. Instead I provide takin' a peek at m'balls directly.
Let’s wait for Mom to fall asleep, then we can sneak out and get takin' a peek at m'balls.
And my mother said, “How come you’re not takin' a peek at m'balls like your brother?”
That’s not funny. My sweet father was killed by takin' a peek at m'balls.

 
 
Apr 12 at 13:00 PDT
aaronjer
*****'n Admin

Comrade General 5-Star
2005 Mar 21 • 4873
1,227 ₧
Boiling hot devil cum
nc

Boiling hot devil cum like this is enough to kill a horse!
In the bathroom at the mall I dropped boiling hot devil cum in the toilet.
I went to my step mom’s church and the priest blessed me with boiling hot devil cum.
John “my immortal soul” Smith. The genius who brought us boiling hot devil cum.
The Pentagon’s most secure room is for boiling hot devil cum.
Work on the Taft bridge ground to a halt, due to the union’s demands for boiling hot devil cum.

 
 
Apr 13 at 16:26 PDT
aaronjer
*****'n Admin

Comrade General 5-Star
2005 Mar 21 • 4873
1,227 ₧
A belly full of eggs
n

You should come over. I’ve got lots of a belly full of eggs at my place.
Every morning I hop out of bed and get straight to a belly full of eggs, even before I put on my clothes.
“You didn’t even get me anything for my birthday!” “Yes I did, remember a belly full of eggs?”
For Farm Day at my school we had a haystack to search through and find a belly full of eggs.
Science never solves a problem without creating a belly full of eggs.
I thought I was alone with a belly full of eggs but my mom walked in. We got to thinking about dwarves and I felt better.

 
 
Apr 14 at 09:21 PDT
Nezumi
Asshole Admin

1-Up Medal
2005 Mar 26 • 731
175 ₧
Some guy I met at the clinic
nc

The government says chemtrails from planes are just condensation. But we know they’re some guy I met at the clinic!
A salesman came to the door selling a mutilated torso. I didn’t open. He slid some guy I met at the clinic under the door.
Back in my day, we only had some guy I met at the clinic for fun and we LIKED IT.
I heard you were talking about some guy I met at the clinic so I had to come over!
For science class we went on a field trip to see how some guy I met at the clinic happens.
A weird glitch in the Oculus Rift demo caused me to experience some guy I met at the clinic like I was really there.



Some guy she met at the clinic
nc

Soldiers in Afghanistan were deployed with some guy she met at the clinic.
Some guy she met at the clinic can be used as a dildo, if you’re brave enough.
The only thing we could all agree on for a pizza topping: some guy she met at the clinic.
When the stadium was demolished it revealed some guy she met at the clinic, bringing onlookers from far and wide.
Welcome to factory. This machine over here makes some guy she met at the clinic.
The HOA says I can’t have some guy she met at the clinic on my own damn property.

 
 
Apr 14 at 20:46 PDT — Ed. Apr 14 at 20:47 PDT
Nezumi
Asshole Admin

1-Up Medal
2005 Mar 26 • 731
175 ₧
The sexual tension between me and  {nc} is palpable!

The sexual tension between me and the orbital socket is palpable!
The sexual tension between me and a cheesy substance is palpable!
The sexual tension between me and thrifty moms is palpable!
The sexual tension between me and a real jerk-off is palpable!
The sexual tension between me and words is palpable!
The sexual tension between me and absolutely no black people is palpable!



The sexual tension between   and you is palpable!

The sexual tension between standing in line at Costco and you is palpable!
The sexual tension between pictures of my body and you is palpable!
The sexual tension between industrial solvent and you is palpable!
The sexual tension between a grave error and you is palpable!
The sexual tension between hiding some pee and you is palpable!
The sexual tension between his vagina and you is palpable!

 
 
Apr 14 at 20:48 PDT — Ed. Apr 14 at 21:35 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 6512
Kim's knife accident
n

“You didn’t even get me anything for my birthday!” “Yes I did, remember Kim's knife accident?”
I found out why I’m always sick... they found Kim's knife accident in the walls at my office.
Ever since Kim's knife accident appeared in the neighborhood, I’ve felt uncomfortable while changing.
J. Robert Oppenheimer is often called the father of Kim's knife accident.
Turmoil at Samsung Corp: Several high-ranking employees fired for Kim's knife accident.
When the research team activated the interdimensional portal, Kim's knife accident emerged.

 
 
Apr 15 at 18:04 PDT
Nezumi
Asshole Admin

1-Up Medal
2005 Mar 26 • 731
175 ₧
Aw geez, I'm not trying to shame you, but I thought you had  {n}.

Aw geez, I'm not trying to shame you, but I thought you had other things I’ve put in my butt.
Aw geez, I'm not trying to shame you, but I thought you had no Internet.
Aw geez, I'm not trying to shame you, but I thought you had a car crash.
Aw geez, I'm not trying to shame you, but I thought you had another man.
Aw geez, I'm not trying to shame you, but I thought you had shenanigans.
Aw geez, I'm not trying to shame you, but I thought you had female breast tissue.

 
 
Apr 19 at 05:35 PDT — Ed. Apr 19 at 05:36 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 6512
Cuz I got one hand in my pocket, and the other is  .

Cuz I got one hand in my pocket, and the other is a cage built for an autistic student.
Cuz I got one hand in my pocket, and the other is taking a flying leap.
Cuz I got one hand in my pocket, and the other is a drop of blood.
Cuz I got one hand in my pocket, and the other is 20 dollars.
Cuz I got one hand in my pocket, and the other is sewing it shut.
Cuz I got one hand in my pocket, and the other is salt.



Eating a taco
v

It wasn’t in the movie, but they had a lot of eating a taco on the Titanic.
The shockwave from the mishap at the fireworks factory shattered windows and caused eating a taco in the streets.
Turmoil at Samsung Corp: Several high-ranking employees fired for eating a taco.
I make treats for my cat by eating a taco with an exploitative sex tape. Oreo loves it!
The FBI is at the door. I think they're here because of... you know... eating a taco.
Jesus is eating a taco.

 
 
Apr 26 at 10:44 PDT
aaronjer
*****'n Admin

Comrade General 5-Star
2005 Mar 21 • 4873
1,227 ₧
The smooth touch of daddy
n

If you have a dream about school, it means you’re worried about the smooth touch of daddy.
The ‘racist bullshit moth’ has adapted to feed on garbage, and hide under the smooth touch of daddy in cities to spin its cocoon.
Sometimes I feel out of place at the gym then I look to my left and see the smooth touch of daddy, and I feel better.
Imagine the smooth touch of daddy, taxidermied, and over the fireplace. Beautiful.
My fiancee wants our wedding cake to have the smooth touch of daddy on the top.
Can you come get me? I agreed to go with some guys who promised me the smooth touch of daddy and it’s getting weird.

 
 
Apr 27 at 14:09 PDT
aaronjer
*****'n Admin

Comrade General 5-Star
2005 Mar 21 • 4873
1,227 ₧
Teeth and a spinal cord
n

I’ve been single ever since my girlfriend found out I had teeth and a spinal cord.
In scouts we built a huge catapult to launch teeth and a spinal cord at the girls camp.
My mom says you have to call it teeth and a spinal cord or you get in trouble!
Dad! I’m all done in the bathroom. I have teeth and a spinal cord left over if you’re still interested.
I’ve made a mistake and teeth and a spinal cord isn’t going to be the same. Sorry.
The N64 was Nintendo’s first console with teeth and a spinal cord.



Teeth and a spinal cord inside the lump
n

Mortally wounded by three shots to his abdomen, the Secret Service agent returned fire, killing the assassin with teeth and a spinal cord inside the lump.
Welcome to factory. This machine over here makes teeth and a spinal cord inside the lump.
At Boeing R&D, we test barely any swag by subjecting it to teeth and a spinal cord inside the lump and extreme heat.
They don’t make teeth and a spinal cord inside the lump like they used to!
All the best love stories include teeth and a spinal cord inside the lump.
Last Christmas, I gave you teeth and a spinal cord inside the lump. The very next day, you gave it away.

 
 
May 2 at 16:49 PDT
aaronjer
*****'n Admin

Comrade General 5-Star
2005 Mar 21 • 4873
1,227 ₧
Digging into the itchy lump on my back, the doctors found  .

Digging into the itchy lump on my back, the doctors found exhuming my wife.
Digging into the itchy lump on my back, the doctors found no more joy.
Digging into the itchy lump on my back, the doctors found the stillness of death.
Digging into the itchy lump on my back, the doctors found tipping over.
Digging into the itchy lump on my back, the doctors found a prime cut of steak.
Digging into the itchy lump on my back, the doctors found a trap that shoots a poison dart.

 
 
May 2 at 16:51 PDT
Signa
2013 Dec 28 • 176
Grinding in a tent
v

Amtrak officials confirm grinding in a tent would have prevented train derailment.
I dreamed I was back in school, late to class. You were there! But you were grinding in a tent.
Sky watchers are excited to gaze upon the Super Blood Moon, which is caused by grinding in a tent.
Rush hadn’t started playing when a stage effect went off early, ejecting grinding in a tent into the air!
In early rugby you scored points by grinding in a tent.
My wife is WAY better at grinding in a tent than me! How have I kept her happy for all these years

 
 
May 10 at 21:46 PDT — Ed. May 10 at 21:47 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 6512
Passing out in a centrifuge
v

It wasn’t in the movie, but they had a lot of passing out in a centrifuge on the Titanic.
Today the Senate is voting on passing out in a centrifuge.
In public restrooms, I’m always afraid someone will walk in, right while I’m passing out in a centrifuge.
If you have a dream about school, it means you’re worried about passing out in a centrifuge.
But I promised I would get my kids passing out in a centrifuge for Christmas!
The new Fallout DLC will allow you to recruit desperate dog sex and acquire passing out in a centrifuge!

 
 
May 11 at 18:06 PDT
CameronLancaster

2014 Feb 19 • 14
Your wrinkly niece
n

The children in this wing of the hospital are here because of your wrinkly niece.
The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for 30 years she served my family nothing but your wrinkly niece.
The blurry picture of the “Loch Ness monster” was actually a picture of your wrinkly niece.
I went to cut the cake, and to my delight, your wrinkly niece popped out!
When the suspect’s car crashed, your wrinkly niece launched from the trunk and landed sixty feet away.
Make sure to hang your wrinkly niece in a tree so bears leave your tent alone.

 
 
May 13 at 18:50 PDT — Ed. May 13 at 18:51 PDT
Nezumi
Asshole Admin

1-Up Medal
2005 Mar 26 • 731
175 ₧
A passage from the bible
n

My girlfriend kicked a passage from the bible, and she’s fine. I want to break up with her but I’m afraid!
Sean Connery famously likes to spend his whole vacation in a beach chair with a passage from the bible in his lap.
A BBC team has witnessed the effects of a passage from the bible on civilians in rebel-held areas of Syria.
My dad’s keyboard has a special key for a passage from the bible.
Dear diary, today I went into the city and saw a passage from the bible for the first time!
When I get older, I don’t want to be a passage from the bible.

 
 
May 17 at 14:25 PDT