SuperJer Against Humanity Suggestions PART 2

SuperJer Against Humanity Suggestions PART 2

General — Page 1 2 3 ... 7 8 9 [10] 11 12 13 ... 105 106 107
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5903
Wiring money to far off lands

It’s not delivery. It’s wiring money to far off lands.
It’s lucky to touch wiring money to far off lands; it’s even luckier to touch someone else’s.
Life without love is like wiring money to far off lands without greedy land barons or fruit.
When a person has wiring money to far off lands, sometimes their mind clicks that this thing will win arguments and straighten people out.
That’s Captain Rogers the Rancorous of “Wiring Money to Far off Lands,” the finest ship in the harbor!
Hark! What wiring money to far off lands through yonder window breaks?


Your husband

In the public your husband model, a third-party service provider delivers the your husband service over the Internet.
Throughout human history, your husband has been the first activity of explorers of any new region.
I am become your husband, the destroyer of worlds.
I got a new app on my phone. It’s called “Your Husband” and it helps me with doing things to the body.
Your husband has proven extremely popular among young, urban audiences in focus testing.
... And so my mom asked me, “If all your friends were your husband, would you be your husband as well?”


Arizona

Who so pulleth out the last thing I said of this stone is rightwise king born of Arizona.
Sir, you have a phone call. Something about Arizona?
The White House will no longer enforce The Arizona Act of 1959. Thank God.
Cambodia’s economy is entirely dependent on Arizona.
India is launching a rocket to test the effects of micro-gravity on Arizona.
Authorities were tallying damage from Arizona that struck southern California Friday evening.


 
 
2016 Mar 25 at 12:32 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5903
The sun

Until quite recently, the sun had the highest tensile strength of any substance known to man.
The new summer blockbuster targeted at tweens features a girl with a firm slap to the groin and a mysterious boy who fights the sun.
That’s Captain Rogers the Rancorous of “The Sun,” the finest ship in the harbor!
The sun is the only way to say goodbye.
When the research team activated the interdimensional portal, the sun emerged.
The sun: It’s nature’s candy!



The S.W.A.T. team

Original style is fine, but chunky kinda tastes like the S.W.A.T. team.
Getting the S.W.A.T. team back out of a volcano is next to impossible.
But I promised my kids they could get the S.W.A.T. team for Christmas!
It’s not delivery. It’s the S.W.A.T. team.
God didn’t create me. God created the S.W.A.T. team. And the S.W.A.T. team created me.
Meet me by the new modern art installation downtown. You know, it’s the S.W.A.T. team straddled by a thorough examination.



My taxidermied daughter

When I told my father he shouted, “No daughter of mine is going out with my taxidermied daughter!”
More than 260 people were injured by festive firecracker blasts and my taxidermied daughter in the Philippines.
The first item of evidence in The People vs. A Psychiatrist Examining My Behavior is my taxidermied daughter.
When presented with my taxidermied daughter, camaraderie and shenanigans will fart blood in anticipation.
Music without the sounds of my taxidermied daughter is hardly music at all.
Cambodia’s economy is entirely dependent on my taxidermied daughter.



My lover's sex move that drives me crazy

The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for 30 years she served my family nothing but my lover's sex move that drives me crazy.
USGS seismologist Lucy Jones said the 5.1 quake has a 5% chance of being my lover's sex move that drives me crazy.
The name for Idaho was derived from a Shoshone language term meaning “my lover's sex move that drives me crazy.”
1) A robot may not injure my lover's sex move that drives me crazy, or through inaction allow my lover's sex move that drives me crazy to come to harm.
There is no revenge so complete as my lover's sex move that drives me crazy.
Howdy neighbor, love my lover's sex move that drives me crazy! Let’s get a bargain sometime!



Going straight to hell for this

A BBC team has witnessed the devastating effects of going straight to hell for this on civilians in rebel-held areas of Syria.
The new hit reality show: Can You Swallow going straight to hell for this?
Chimps in the wild have been observed using going straight to hell for this to forage for food.
You evaded my “Going Straight to Hell for This” attack! Most impressive.
This is my second kid. My first one came out as going straight to hell for this.
How high do you have to be to put reasonable stereotypes on going straight to hell for this?

 
 
2016 Mar 25 at 13:14 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5903
She was so surprised to see _____ that _____ fell out of my mouth.2

She was so surprised to see a deceitful word that the song of my people fell out of my mouth.
She was so surprised to see mutual benefit that acting like a child fell out of my mouth.
She was so surprised to see quicksand that divorce papers fell out of my mouth.
She was so surprised to see wool exports that being unable to look yourself in the mirror fell out of my mouth.
She was so surprised to see turning tricks on the street corner that a falling piano fell out of my mouth.
She was so surprised to see all this shit that working myself up into a frenzy fell out of my mouth.

 
 
2016 Mar 25 at 13:16 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5903
Ever since _____ moved into the neighborhood, _____ has been eyed with suspicion.2

Ever since napkins moved into the neighborhood, keeping the pressure on has been eyed with suspicion.
Ever since the longest, thinnest thing moved into the neighborhood, bucketloads has been eyed with suspicion.
Ever since a comfortable spot moved into the neighborhood, whaling has been eyed with suspicion.
Ever since door hinges, nails and chopped up horseshoes moved into the neighborhood, slipping on a jizz slick has been eyed with suspicion.
Ever since the sacred knife of Tecpatl moved into the neighborhood, a feather boa has been eyed with suspicion.
Ever since thirst moved into the neighborhood, a Secret Service agent has been eyed with suspicion.

 
 
2016 Mar 25 at 13:17 PDT — Ed. 2016 Mar 25 at 13:17 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5903
The Japanese insist on their traditional right to hunt _____ in the sea.

The Japanese insist on their traditional right to hunt friends that can keep a secret in the sea.
The Japanese insist on their traditional right to hunt door hinges, nails and chopped up horseshoes in the sea.
The Japanese insist on their traditional right to hunt good bacteria in the sea.
The Japanese insist on their traditional right to hunt plenty of everything in the sea.
The Japanese insist on their traditional right to hunt ground control in the sea.
The Japanese insist on their traditional right to hunt hooking yourself up to a machine you know nothing about in the sea.

 
 
2016 Mar 25 at 13:18 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5903
Facebook just bought _____{T} Company, hoping to get a stronger position in _____.2

Facebook just bought Inquisitive Middle Schoolers Company, hoping to get a stronger position in loving my idiot husband despite his faults.
Facebook just bought Your Imaginary Friend, Captain Howdy Company, hoping to get a stronger position in the reanimated corpse of my neighbor.
Facebook just bought a Protruding Vein Company, hoping to get a stronger position in strands of my darling’s hair.
Facebook just bought Bizarre Funeral Rites Company, hoping to get a stronger position in copycats.
Facebook just bought the Tiniest Little Idea in My Pea Brain Company, hoping to get a stronger position in a total fucking mess.
Facebook just bought a Promise Company, hoping to get a stronger position in twerking while uncontrollably farting.

 
 
2016 Mar 25 at 13:21 PDT — Ed. 2016 Mar 27 at 02:52 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5903
I weird glitch in the Oculus Rift demo caused me to experience _____ like I was really there.

I weird glitch in the Oculus Rift demo caused me to experience a watermelon like I was really there.
I weird glitch in the Oculus Rift demo caused me to experience an enhanced interrogation like I was really there.
I weird glitch in the Oculus Rift demo caused me to experience a sex swing like I was really there.
I weird glitch in the Oculus Rift demo caused me to experience a quickie like I was really there.
I weird glitch in the Oculus Rift demo caused me to experience whoever wins like I was really there.
I weird glitch in the Oculus Rift demo caused me to experience a yappy little dog like I was really there.

 
 
2016 Mar 25 at 13:26 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5903
At spring training a foul ball bounced off _____ in the stands and then knocked _____ off _____.3

At spring training a foul ball bounced off tweaker logic in the stands and then knocked heavy hearts off a mindless animal response.
At spring training a foul ball bounced off the death simulator in the stands and then knocked moral ambiguity off the next time.
At spring training a foul ball bounced off pity in the stands and then knocked never being appreciated off smashing skulls.
At spring training a foul ball bounced off most of my blood in the stands and then knocked a really long nose hair off jailbait fashion week.
At spring training a foul ball bounced off a watermelon in the stands and then knocked marginal gains off a big mean dookie on deck.
At spring training a foul ball bounced off nitro-boosted performance in the stands and then knocked you off handjobbing that carcass.

 
 
2016 Mar 25 at 13:27 PDT — Ed. 2016 Mar 25 at 13:27 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5903
The cineplex has been using _____ in the popcorn machine because it's cheaper than oil.

The cineplex has been using that jackass in the popcorn machine because it's cheaper than oil.
The cineplex has been using a really long nose hair in the popcorn machine because it's cheaper than oil.
The cineplex has been using human tears out of a champagne flute in the popcorn machine because it's cheaper than oil.
The cineplex has been using a lump in the blanket in the popcorn machine because it's cheaper than oil.
The cineplex has been using a Swiss murder suit in the popcorn machine because it's cheaper than oil.
The cineplex has been using total collapse in the popcorn machine because it's cheaper than oil.

 
 
2016 Mar 25 at 13:34 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5903
My wife and I got a little kinky last night. We ended up in the hospital to get _____ removed from her and _____ removed from me.2

My wife and I got a little kinky last night. We ended up in the hospital to get vintage trappings removed from her and negotiating peace removed from me.
My wife and I got a little kinky last night. We ended up in the hospital to get a back-breaking zit removed from her and a major problem removed from me.
My wife and I got a little kinky last night. We ended up in the hospital to get an air-filled bladder removed from her and many scientific fields removed from me.
My wife and I got a little kinky last night. We ended up in the hospital to get the real adversary removed from her and a salty sailor removed from me.
My wife and I got a little kinky last night. We ended up in the hospital to get some guy named Darryl removed from her and my brother, who I’m sure you remember removed from me.
My wife and I got a little kinky last night. We ended up in the hospital to get a happy accident removed from her and a crack in the sky removed from me.

 
 
2016 Mar 25 at 13:35 PDT — Ed. 2016 Mar 25 at 13:38 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5903
The cruiseliner struck _____ and sank, leaving hundreds of vacationers in the water to deal with _____.2

The cruiseliner struck a zealous follower and sank, leaving hundreds of vacationers in the water to deal with a gentle kiss on the teeth.
The cruiseliner struck my first wife and sank, leaving hundreds of vacationers in the water to deal with homo hot lips.
The cruiseliner struck chocolate chip juice and sank, leaving hundreds of vacationers in the water to deal with slow diarrhea.
The cruiseliner struck licking and sank, leaving hundreds of vacationers in the water to deal with a dragon made of motorcycle.
The cruiseliner struck goners and sank, leaving hundreds of vacationers in the water to deal with just the thing.
The cruiseliner struck an unscheduled cement testing contest and sank, leaving hundreds of vacationers in the water to deal with each hole, sequentially.

 
 
2016 Mar 25 at 13:40 PDT — Ed. 2016 Mar 25 at 13:41 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5903
The new Harley-Davidson hog's got _____ painted on both sides, which some people say encourages _____.2

The new Harley-Davidson hog's got Machine Gun Betty painted on both sides, which some people say encourages ground unicorn bone.
The new Harley-Davidson hog's got a small child with no arms on a buttered skateboard painted on both sides, which some people say encourages going out on a limb.
The new Harley-Davidson hog's got pirate booty painted on both sides, which some people say encourages thirst.
The new Harley-Davidson hog's got things that aren’t intelligible painted on both sides, which some people say encourages hooking yourself up to a machine you know nothing about.
The new Harley-Davidson hog's got a small number of trusted men painted on both sides, which some people say encourages mighty Zeus.
The new Harley-Davidson hog's got unbearable bitching painted on both sides, which some people say encourages sudsy bodies.

 
 
2016 Mar 25 at 13:43 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5903
Pundits agree it will take _____ for the senator to win the election.

Pundits agree it will take nitro-boosted performance for the senator to win the election.
Pundits agree it will take the highest intelligence possible for the senator to win the election.
Pundits agree it will take workplace chatter for the senator to win the election.
Pundits agree it will take motor control for the senator to win the election.
Pundits agree it will take my unwanted child for the senator to win the election.
Pundits agree it will take a fresh lung for the senator to win the election.

 
 
2016 Mar 25 at 13:44 PDT — Ed. 2016 Mar 25 at 13:44 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5903
There is a rumor that Marilyn Manson had _____ removed so he could be _____.2

There is a rumor that Marilyn Manson had orgies removed so he could be pomp.
There is a rumor that Marilyn Manson had twerking your front butt removed so he could be insincerity.
There is a rumor that Marilyn Manson had a leaf blower removed so he could be circular logic.
There is a rumor that Marilyn Manson had ribs removed so he could be an enduring fixture.
There is a rumor that Marilyn Manson had milking a buffalo removed so he could be a close friend.
There is a rumor that Marilyn Manson had pierced butt cheeks removed so he could be cardiac arrest.

 
 
2016 Mar 25 at 13:46 PDT — Ed. 2016 Mar 25 at 13:47 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5903
My dream house has _____ out front, picture windows for _____, and _____ in the garage.3

My dream house has stubby fingers out front, picture windows for a lounge full of dandies, and workplace chatter in the garage.
My dream house has hibernating with friends out front, picture windows for harem pants, and hate-fucking in the garage.
My dream house has half a man out front, picture windows for the dark place of eternal stillness, and a box of wine in the garage.
My dream house has any metal you can find out front, picture windows for a quirky, vegan CEO, and solvent in the garage.
My dream house has a yellow suit out front, picture windows for unseemliness, and doubting its validity in the garage.
My dream house has your name out front, picture windows for slow diarrhea, and ceaseless chanting in the garage.

 
 
2016 Mar 25 at 13:49 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5903
Shepherds in Scotland have used _____ for years to keep the flock from _____.2

Shepherds in Scotland have used alien parasite larva for years to keep the flock from forgetting about the whole universe.
Shepherds in Scotland have used “sexy kitty” mode for years to keep the flock from a flea.
Shepherds in Scotland have used mighty Zeus for years to keep the flock from Rudeboy.
Shepherds in Scotland have used zebras disguised as horses for years to keep the flock from casualties.
Shepherds in Scotland have used halitosis for years to keep the flock from dos and don’ts.
Shepherds in Scotland have used a human face for years to keep the flock from welts.

 
 
2016 Mar 25 at 13:50 PDT — Ed. 2016 Mar 25 at 13:50 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5903
Pool rules: No running. No _____. Keep _____ out of the deep end.2

Pool rules: No running. No a little piece of shit. Keep a bitter draught to swallow out of the deep end.
Pool rules: No running. No lower standards. Keep an exit wound out of the deep end.
Pool rules: No running. No bromance. Keep anal cleansing tablets out of the deep end.
Pool rules: No running. No false gods. Keep a diseased lion out of the deep end.
Pool rules: No running. No cops getting high. Keep no recourse out of the deep end.
Pool rules: No running. No a historical dame. Keep a flimsy pterodactyl out of the deep end.

 
 
2016 Mar 25 at 13:53 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5903
Online trolls turned Microsoft's teen girl AI into some kind of _____-loving bot that favors _____.2

Online trolls turned Microsoft's teen girl AI into some kind of a spinning jenny-loving bot that favors a playpen.
Online trolls turned Microsoft's teen girl AI into some kind of being attacked by a skeleton-loving bot that favors a moon rock shaped like a butt.
Online trolls turned Microsoft's teen girl AI into some kind of a menacing spike-loving bot that favors the biggest heaviest shotgun.
Online trolls turned Microsoft's teen girl AI into some kind of the birth of a male heir-loving bot that favors breastfeeding.
Online trolls turned Microsoft's teen girl AI into some kind of a finely sculpted buttock-loving bot that favors an exit wound.
Online trolls turned Microsoft's teen girl AI into some kind of a sterilized dog-loving bot that favors a lie that corrupts the Earth.

 
 
2016 Mar 25 at 13:59 PDT — Ed. 2016 Mar 25 at 14:08 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5903
No one in Morocco can be _____ without registering with the government.

No one in Morocco can be napkins without registering with the government.
No one in Morocco can be a beefy meal without registering with the government.
No one in Morocco can be just rockin’ that ass without registering with the government.
No one in Morocco can be scorpion gulch without registering with the government.
No one in Morocco can be a summer sausage without registering with the government.
No one in Morocco can be a cold hearted assassin without registering with the government.

 
 
2016 Mar 25 at 14:09 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5903
Chris Angel threw the deck of cards and my card appeared in _____!

Chris Angel threw the deck of cards and my card appeared in a bandsaw!
Chris Angel threw the deck of cards and my card appeared in between your legs!
Chris Angel threw the deck of cards and my card appeared in a liberal application!
Chris Angel threw the deck of cards and my card appeared in a quick one!
Chris Angel threw the deck of cards and my card appeared in an Asian martial arts master!
Chris Angel threw the deck of cards and my card appeared in just shoveling it in!

 
 
2016 Mar 25 at 14:11 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5903
On Ebay you can get _____ but it comes in several tiny boxes.

On Ebay you can get a threat from Canada but it comes in several tiny boxes.
On Ebay you can get what’s inside but it comes in several tiny boxes.
On Ebay you can get a slut who deserved it but it comes in several tiny boxes.
On Ebay you can get the fuel line but it comes in several tiny boxes.
On Ebay you can get ropes but it comes in several tiny boxes.
On Ebay you can get friendly nanomachines but it comes in several tiny boxes.

 
 
2016 Mar 25 at 14:12 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5903
Peter Molyneux's new game will use facial recognition to explore _____ in a very realistic way.

Peter Molyneux's new game will use facial recognition to explore your imaginary friend, Captain Howdy in a very realistic way.
Peter Molyneux's new game will use facial recognition to explore girl problems in a very realistic way.
Peter Molyneux's new game will use facial recognition to explore unseemliness in a very realistic way.
Peter Molyneux's new game will use facial recognition to explore 10,000 dancers, dancing in unison in a very realistic way.
Peter Molyneux's new game will use facial recognition to explore Feng Shui in a very realistic way.
Peter Molyneux's new game will use facial recognition to explore Orange Julius in a very realistic way.

 
 
2016 Mar 25 at 14:16 PDT — Ed. 2016 Mar 25 at 14:17 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5903
The weird new payment system at the grocery store requires me to put _____ in the slot, but I forget to take it out.

The weird new payment system at the grocery store requires me to put the body in the slot, but I forget to take it out.
The weird new payment system at the grocery store requires me to put the most intimate details of your life in the slot, but I forget to take it out.
The weird new payment system at the grocery store requires me to put a soap bubble in the slot, but I forget to take it out.
The weird new payment system at the grocery store requires me to put the wrong man in the slot, but I forget to take it out.
The weird new payment system at the grocery store requires me to put laying eggs everywhere in the slot, but I forget to take it out.
The weird new payment system at the grocery store requires me to put crashing out of a window in the slot, but I forget to take it out.

 
 
2016 Mar 25 at 14:19 PDT — Ed. 2016 Mar 25 at 14:19 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5903
At the winery tour we saw how they put _____ and grapes in the tank, but it smelled like _____.2

At the winery tour we saw how they put a vast treasury of specimens and grapes in the tank, but it smelled like my kid sister.
At the winery tour we saw how they put great tits and grapes in the tank, but it smelled like donkeydump.
At the winery tour we saw how they put each hole, sequentially and grapes in the tank, but it smelled like a doozy.
At the winery tour we saw how they put a strongly-worded letter and grapes in the tank, but it smelled like a stalker.
At the winery tour we saw how they put significant legal reform and grapes in the tank, but it smelled like loving someone SO much.
At the winery tour we saw how they put our own biological child and grapes in the tank, but it smelled like a swarm of dead insects.

 
 
2016 Mar 25 at 14:22 PDT — Ed. 2016 Mar 25 at 14:22 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5903
Growing up we never had _____, but we had to deal with _____, and I want the opposite for my children.2

Growing up we never had shenanigans, but we had to deal with sandpaper, and I want the opposite for my children.
Growing up we never had extradition, but we had to deal with feeding upon nematodes, and I want the opposite for my children.
Growing up we never had insipid fools, but we had to deal with a property of myself, and I want the opposite for my children.
Growing up we never had any metal you can find, but we had to deal with a choreographed dance, and I want the opposite for my children.
Growing up we never had two bats in a giant pair of pajamas, but we had to deal with most of my blood, and I want the opposite for my children.
Growing up we never had I don’t know what, but BILLIONS of them, but we had to deal with exact science, and I want the opposite for my children.

 
 
2016 Mar 25 at 14:24 PDT — Ed. 2016 Mar 25 at 14:25 PDT