SuperJer Against Humanity Suggestions PART 2

SuperJer Against Humanity Suggestions PART 2

General — Page 1 2 3 ... 16 17 18 [19] 20 21 22 ... 105 106 107
aaronjer
*****'n Admin

Comrade General 5-Star
2005 Mar 21 • 4599
1,227 ₧
Giving up   is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.

Giving up being controlled by a child is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
Giving up a urinal cake is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
Giving up bitches on the love throne is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
Giving up a cascade of problems is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
Giving up a perverted, unnatural cavern is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
Giving up the nectar of the gods is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.


 
 
2016 May 10 at 14:42 PDT
aaronjer
*****'n Admin

Comrade General 5-Star
2005 Mar 21 • 4599
1,227 ₧
Consider  {v} with  . It will gratify some people and astonish the rest. 2

Consider covering the expenses with a one hundred dollar bill. It will gratify some people and astonish the rest.
Consider pacifying all religions with a loose handrail. It will gratify some people and astonish the rest.
Consider crossing a moral boundary with a sexy, but stylish full turn. It will gratify some people and astonish the rest.
Consider being bred in captivity with precious ambergris. It will gratify some people and astonish the rest.
Consider putting up with you with a banana slug. It will gratify some people and astonish the rest.
Consider chasing a firetruck with a time machine that has yet to be invented. It will gratify some people and astonish the rest.


 
 
2016 May 10 at 14:43 PDT — Ed. 2016 May 10 at 14:49 PDT
aaronjer
*****'n Admin

Comrade General 5-Star
2005 Mar 21 • 4599
1,227 ₧
my hot little hands np

When my hot little hands is ready, a macabre mixture of milk and blood shooting out of every orifice will appear.
A weird glitch in the Oculus Rift demo caused me to experience my hot little hands like I was really there.
Original style is fine, but chunky kinda tastes like my hot little hands.
My fiancee wants our wedding cake to look like it’s a human face, with my hot little hands around the edges, and lollygagging on top.
A woman is like a teabag. You can’t tell how strong she is until you put her in my hot little hands.
I ordered my hot little hands privately over the Internet so I can get better at putting up with you.

 
 
2016 May 10 at 14:45 PDT
aaronjer
*****'n Admin

Comrade General 5-Star
2005 Mar 21 • 4599
1,227 ₧
Sometimes I wish I could just lock  {n} and  {n} in a room and let 'em fight it out.2

Sometimes I wish I could just lock a bag of duck vaginas and a big donkey in a room and let 'em fight it out.
Sometimes I wish I could just lock a strong magnet and an even harder bang in a room and let 'em fight it out.
Sometimes I wish I could just lock Mama Hole and Papa Pole and mermen in a room and let 'em fight it out.
Sometimes I wish I could just lock a remedy and a night of gentle flatulence in a room and let 'em fight it out.
Sometimes I wish I could just lock a hearty 8-pound pork roast and tiny men in a room and let 'em fight it out.
Sometimes I wish I could just lock dad and the runs in a room and let 'em fight it out.

 
 
2016 May 10 at 14:51 PDT — Ed. 2016 May 10 at 14:56 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5903
screaming and barfing a little v

My dream house has an under-the-table interaction out front, picture windows for screaming and barfing a little, and a vast understatement in the garage.
I noticed symptoms of friendly nanomachines, so I went to my naturopathic doctor. He said, “it’s screaming and barfing a little!” but I’m not sure.
What the shoe department lacks in service, we make up for in screaming and barfing a little.
The name for Idaho was derived from a Shoshone language term meaning “screaming and barfing a little.”
Experts said that based on preliminary data, screaming and barfing a little appears to have occurred on the Puente Hills thrust fault.
This workplace has gone (0) days without screaming and barfing a little.

 
 
2016 May 10 at 17:10 PDT — Ed. 2016 May 10 at 17:15 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5903
Russia built a tunnel to save endangered animals. Now  {n} and  {n} can travel without fear of being  {v}.3

Russia built a tunnel to save endangered animals. Now tender pinches and a prop gun can travel without fear of being bellowing.
Russia built a tunnel to save endangered animals. Now a sex swing and a healthy fantasy life can travel without fear of being rolling.
Russia built a tunnel to save endangered animals. Now a little piece of shit and earwax can travel without fear of being tunneling around.
Russia built a tunnel to save endangered animals. Now the top 3 floors and a vortex that keeps mumbling can travel without fear of being being unfit to even live.
Russia built a tunnel to save endangered animals. Now the company van and large recoil can travel without fear of being finding a safe place.
Russia built a tunnel to save endangered animals. Now fist pumping and the gravy dimension can travel without fear of being being in the way.

 
 
2016 May 10 at 17:50 PDT — Ed. 2016 May 10 at 17:53 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5903
a surgical rotary saw n

Here’s a certificate for a surgical rotary saw from me. Redeem at any time!
Daddy! There’s a surgical rotary saw under my bed. Kill it kill it!
Since I deserve it, I am going to reward myself with a surgical rotary saw .
When the beef came at me it was like a surgical rotary saw .
The doctor held up my x-ray and I could just make out a surgical rotary saw .
Back when I was a surgical rotary saw , I got shot in anorexia by a large abscess.



or

cutting it off with a surgical rotary saw v

Trapped again, MacGyver began his escape with only family fun night and cutting it off with a surgical rotary saw.
The only way to make sense out of cutting it off with a surgical rotary saw is to plunge into it, move with it, and join the dance.
Ever since I got back from Mexico I’ve been really into cutting it off with a surgical rotary saw.
Cutting It off with a Surgical Rotary Saw”: A new sport for boys and girls.
He also named a city in India “Cutting It off with a Surgical Rotary Saw” after his dead horse.
Ich bin ein cutting it off with a surgical rotary saw.

 
 
2016 May 10 at 18:17 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5903
a concrete, actual object n

The Great Wall was actually built to keep a concrete, actual object out of mainland China.
This year’s hottest new fashion is a concrete, actual object on your head.
Help! I can’t find my daughter! She looks like my fantasy and is carrying a concrete, actual object.
Chimps in the wild have been observed using a concrete, actual object to forage for food.
When the stadium was demolished it ejected a concrete, actual object, which hung in the air for days.
Facebook just bought Cops Getting High Company, hoping to get a stronger position in a concrete, actual object.

 
 
2016 May 11 at 01:59 PDT
MillenialMage
2016 May 11 • 1
a Vietnamese landmine n

When the beef came at me it was like a Vietnamese landmine.
Ha! You activated my trap card, “A Vietnamese Landmine!” You’re cursed with a tight fit until the end of the game!
The school district had to pay a lot of hush money to parents after the “a Vietnamese landmine” incident in the science lab.
The three techniques of Sumo Wrestling: A Vietnamese landmine, a mistake and dad.
Their rising all at once was as the sound of a Vietnamese landmine heard remote.
Don’t look at me while I’m a Vietnamese landmine! It messes me up!

 
 
2016 May 11 at 20:00 PDT
jeff is wizlord

2014 Nov 12 • 278
endless dudes np

McDonald’s combo menu #3: Double Quarter Pounder with Cheese, a large Coke, and a side of endless dudes.
Oh dear God! That was the last of my medication for “Endless Dudes” syndrome!
Ha! You activated my trap card, “Endless Dudes!” You’re cursed with leaving your friends to die until the end of the game!
People are freaking out because the new Happy Meal PEZ® dispenser is endless dudes.
I reached expectantly into endless dudes, but found only a hand grenade in my cereal.
Come on down to Golden Corral™ for endless dudes.

 
 
2016 May 12 at 11:24 PDT
Signa
2013 Dec 28 • 140
a benevolent tornado ?

Oh dear God! That was the last of my medication for “A Benevolent Tornado” syndrome!
I’m getting a flimsy pterodactyl installed in my car, so I can be a benevolent tornado while I drive.
Someone get Michael! His girlfriend is drunk, up on the table, and she’s a benevolent tornado.
Ich bin ein a benevolent tornado.
Although moving away from twerking while uncontrollably farting proved effective for schools, switching to a benevolent tornado initially led to a spike of child hospitalizations.
12th street is closed due to a man in a tree throwing a benevolent tornado at cars and passers-by.

 
 
2016 May 13 at 01:09 PDT — Ed. 2016 May 13 at 01:10 PDT
going
2016 May 13 • 1
installing an update v

If you don’t stop installing an update, I’ll load you on my catapult and fire you into between your legs!
Before you embark on a journey of revenge, consider installing an update.
In the public installing an update model, a third-party service provider delivers the installing an update service over the Internet.
I checked my son’s browser history. Found links about installing an update and the reanimated corpse of my neighbor. Should I talk to him?
Kraft Foods has announced that it will phase out the use of installing an update in its food processing operations.
Don’t look at me while I’m installing an update! It messes me up!

 
 
2016 May 13 at 15:34 PDT — Ed. 2016 May 13 at 15:35 PDT
doinkdoink
2016 May 13 • 1
an extremely uncomfortable mattress n

Ever since I got back from Mexico I’ve been really into an extremely uncomfortable mattress .
Police were able to track the suspect after finding DNA evidence in an extremely uncomfortable mattress .
Chimps in the wild have been observed using an extremely uncomfortable mattress to forage for food.
A BBC team has witnessed the devastating effects of an extremely uncomfortable mattress on civilians in rebel-held areas of Syria.
Original style is fine, but chunky kinda tastes like an extremely uncomfortable mattress .
The thief was caught stealing my taxidermied daughter from the sultan, and so was thrown into the pit of an extremely uncomfortable mattress .



a giant spring n

When he reached the New World, Cortés burned a giant spring. As a result, his men were well motivated.
My new phone looks like it’s a giant spring but I don’t mind. It makes calls.
Oh dear God! That was the last of my medication for “A Giant Spring” syndrome!
When I get older, I don’t want to be a giant spring.
At the lake, everyone began scrambling toward the shore as a giant spring surfaced from below.
I didn’t think this house would sell with extra padding for my butt in the attic. Anyway, I’m a giant spring.

 
 
2016 May 13 at 15:38 PDT — Ed. 2016 May 13 at 15:39 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5903
a fly in the room n

The new bill before congress would mandate ladies’ underwear and provide subsidies for a fly in the room .
God didn’t create me. God created a fly in the room . And a fly in the room created me.
Back in my day, we had a fly in the room for 35 quadrillion Zimbabwe dollars and we LIKED IT.
Here’s a certificate for a fly in the room from me. Redeem at any time!
Growing up in the foster care system, I learned to be a fly in the room if I wanted a new family.
The TSA has made new rules mandating a fly in the room on every commercial flight.



glittery eyelashes np

Factory workers at Foxconn who leap out of windows will now be saved by glittery eyelashes around the building.
Kirkland mom makes $20,000 a week with glittery eyelashes .
I checked my son’s browser history. Found links about glittery eyelashes and a royal fleet of galleys. Should I talk to him?
Ever since the accident, I freeze in terror at the sight of glittery eyelashes .
The 13 colonies were founded on the principles of liberty, brotherhood, and glittery eyelashes .
This year’s hottest new fashion is glittery eyelashes on your head.



a rope tied round my leg n

I’m getting a rope tied round my leg installed in my car, so I can be a crocodile death-rolling my taint while I drive.
Here on the assembly line we heat a rope tied round my leg to a steaming, bright cherry red, and this next machine over here is being carted away.
The school district had to pay a lot of hush money to parents after the “a rope tied round my leg ” incident in the science lab.
Chris Angel threw the deck of cards at human murder and my card appeared in a rope tied round my leg !
Class, turn to page 100 and start reading “A Rope Tied Round My Leg”.
We need more black cards! Maybe another one about a rope tied round my leg , but with leftover McDonald’s®!



no minors np

On Ebay you can get no minors but it comes in several tiny boxes.
I’ve been dancing to the new single by “No Minors and Hot Lava”.
The fire raged out of control after the fire hoses got caught around no minors.
An FBI raid on Michael Eisner’s seaside villa turned up no minors in every room.
No minors: It’s nature’s candy!
No one in Morocco can be no minors without registering with the government.

 
 
2016 May 13 at 15:41 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5903
a hanging vine n

When eating alone I prefer a special kind of sandwich: layers of ape sounds and a hanging vine .
I’m late to my meeting for a hanging vine .
My financial analyst had advised me against investing all my money in a hanging vine .
The fire raged out of control after the fire hoses got caught around a hanging vine .
At spring training a foul ball bounced off a hanging vine in the stands and then knocked a crown of femurs off diplomatic support.
I don’t give money to the homeless. Instead I provide a hanging vine directly.



the escape route n

This workplace has gone (0) days without the escape route .
John “the escape route ” Smith. The genius who brought us smearing.
Every French soldier carries the escape route in his knapsack.
If you don’t stop wrestling alligators, I’ll load you on my catapult and fire you into the escape route !
SWF seeking LTR or fun for now, if you’re into the escape route , get to the front of the line.
Any man who can drive safely while kissing the escape route is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves.



my happy place n

The cruiseliner struck my happy place and sank, leaving hundreds of vacationers in the water to deal with overwatch.
When the mixture is bubbling, add my happy place to the pan, in small increments while stirring constantly.
Dear diary, today I went into the city and saw my happy place for the first time!
I wasn’t always black... there was my happy place , and it got bigger and bigger.
I refuse to roleplay as anything but my happy place .
After 6 grueling years, my partner and I have created my happy place .



a long, winding trail of blood n

In the end, the obvious plot twist was that the serial killer was actually a long, winding trail of blood.
I’m glad you’re my new roomie, my last one was always a long, winding trail of blood. Always.
Here’s a certificate for a long, winding trail of blood from me. Redeem at any time!
I got whoever collapses first as a pet! Do you want to see the racy picture we took with a long, winding trail of blood?
I can’t shake the feeling there’s always a long, winding trail of blood just around the corner.
God didn’t create me. God created a long, winding trail of blood. And a long, winding trail of blood created me.

 
 
2016 May 13 at 15:45 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5903
the winning lottery numbers n

The Japanese insist on their traditional right to hunt the winning lottery numbers in the sea.
Working on my car I found the winning lottery numbers had crawled inside the engine block and died.
At LAX travelers were horrified to see the winning lottery numbers spilling onto the baggage carousel, then one after another.
Men, like the winning lottery numbers , go farthest when they are my quarry.
The new self-help fad: Better Living Through the Winning Lottery Numbers!
Here on the assembly line we heat the winning lottery numbers to a steaming, bright cherry red, and this next machine over here is brimming with babies.



ice cold seawater nc

McDonald’s combo menu #3: Double Quarter Pounder with Cheese, a large Coke, and a side of ice cold seawater .
Every morning I hop out of bed and get straight to ice cold seawater , even before I put on my clothes.
A weird glitch in the Oculus Rift demo caused me to experience ice cold seawater like I was really there.
The last thing I tried to dead-lift over my head was creeping upstairs, but ice cold seawater got in the way.
In a world with high-voltage wires undressing, one man must overcome ice cold seawater . Coming this summer.
There is a rumor that Marilyn Manson had ice cold seawater removed so he could be pulsating opposite sexes.



the digital bonus pack n

Welcome to the neighborhood! I live in the digital bonus pack across the street.
I wasn’t always black... there was the digital bonus pack , and it got bigger and bigger.
On Ebay you can get the digital bonus pack but it comes in several tiny boxes.
Back in my day, we had all the air in the room for the digital bonus pack and we LIKED IT.
There is no revenge so complete as the digital bonus pack .
Early rugby’s rules: carry the ball as the digital bonus pack , score points by accidentally decking a cop in the head, and a cow with haunting moos shall not be on the field.



the Buick out front n

This year’s hottest new fashion is the Buick out front on your head.
At spring training a foul ball bounced off the Buick out front in the stands and then knocked a sassy male news reporter off a loaded gun.
My house. 8 o’clock. The Buick out front.
The fire raged out of control after the fire hoses got caught around the Buick out front.
The Chinese government has blocked all websites related to the Buick out front.
The city condemned our house after finding the Buick out front in the crawlspace.

 
 
2016 May 13 at 15:51 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5903
Here on the assembly line we heat  {sp} to a steaming, bright cherry red, which goes right into  , rapidly  {v}. 3

Here on the assembly line we heat a great big sword to a steaming, bright cherry red, which goes right into evil thinking, rapidly wafting upstairs.
Here on the assembly line we heat an abomination unto God to a steaming, bright cherry red, which goes right into compressed gas, rapidly lumbering around.
Here on the assembly line we heat multiethnic genitalia to a steaming, bright cherry red, which goes right into sabotage, rapidly suggesting a murder.
Here on the assembly line we heat a nicer surprise to a steaming, bright cherry red, which goes right into a haunted theremin, rapidly danglin’ out there all pink and naked.
Here on the assembly line we heat lips to a steaming, bright cherry red, which goes right into an unclothed manikin, rapidly buffing that vagina.
Here on the assembly line we heat Fancy Santas to a steaming, bright cherry red, which goes right into a stalker, rapidly poking all the little bugs.


 
 
2016 May 13 at 15:58 PDT — Ed. 2016 May 13 at 15:59 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5903
IBM's new "green" office building gets 20% of its power from  {n}  {v}, and the eco-glass windows trap in  {n}.3

IBM's new "green" office building gets 20% of its power from girl problems turning over, and the eco-glass windows trap in a deadly fall.
IBM's new "green" office building gets 20% of its power from Mexican affairs hiding the elderly, and the eco-glass windows trap in mood enhancing hormones.
IBM's new "green" office building gets 20% of its power from an under-the-table interaction sticking a finger in my ear, and one in my butt, and the eco-glass windows trap in just me, by myself.
IBM's new "green" office building gets 20% of its power from the Black Prince never coming to fruition, and the eco-glass windows trap in smooth boys.
IBM's new "green" office building gets 20% of its power from harem pants getting only beef jerky for Christmas, and the eco-glass windows trap in a flagrant misuse of the English language.
IBM's new "green" office building gets 20% of its power from curious bisexuals giving it a tweak, and the eco-glass windows trap in a tuba full of mayonnaise.

 
 
2016 May 13 at 16:01 PDT — Ed. 2016 May 13 at 16:06 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5903
cutting a hole in my pants v

Life without love is like cutting a hole in my pants without a bulky frame, sturdy legs, and rounded cloven hooves or fruit.
Cutting a hole in my pants is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop.
There’s no reason for cutting a hole in my pants before breakfast.
Kinect automatically recognizes when you’re cutting a hole in my pants and turns itself on to broadcast it to your friends.
The new intern is starting this week. Can you set up her workstation for cutting a hole in my pants ?
Traditionally, vampires and other undead are repelled by cutting a hole in my pants .



elbow grease nc

Any man who can drive safely while kissing elbow grease is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves.
There is no “I” in “team” but there is an “I” in “elbow grease ”.
Welcome to the neighborhood! I live in elbow grease across the street.
The cineplex has been using elbow grease in the popcorn machine because it’s cheaper than oil.
Whenever I cook skin-tight leather flesh-colored pants I drop a little on the floor. It’s building up into elbow grease .
The heart produces an egg which, for one month, must stay under elbow grease to keep warm.



wheels np

If you have a dream about my vicinity, it meas you’re worried about wheels .
Furious that I had peed into his spellbook, the sorcerer turned me into wheels .
1) A robot may not injure wheels , or through inaction allow wheels to come to harm.
Come on down to Golden Corral™ for wheels .
SWF seeking LTR or fun for now, if you’re into wheels , get to the front of the line.
These wounds were given to me by the beast of legend. Part of it was wheels , part was firemen with a trampoline, and it was crowned with lips all licorice.



a cluster of baby spiders n

Last night I dreamed of a soap bubble. I cannot shake the feeling that a cluster of baby spiders will arrive soon.
A cluster of baby spiders is grounds for divorcing your wife in 28 states.
Outrageous new comedy: 2 best friends and a cluster of baby spiders take a road trip, and discover a noodle sorcerer along the way.
When I told my doctor I couldn’t afford an operation, he offered a cluster of baby spiders operation.
More than 260 people were injured by festive firecracker blasts and a cluster of baby spiders in the Philippines.
I didn’t think this house would sell with a gasoline enema in the attic. Anyway, I’m a cluster of baby spiders.

 
 
2016 May 13 at 16:10 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5903
my work nc

It’s not delivery. It’s my work .
My work saved is my work earned.
Wife and I got a bit kinky last night. Ended up at the hospital to get my work removed from her and workplace chatter removed from me.
When I get older, I don’t want to be my work .
The band hadn’t started playing when my work went off early, ejecting a foaming pipe snake into the air!
When the stadium was demolished it ejected my work , which hung in the air for days.



a life preserver n

And before I let your steam drill beat me down, I’ll die with a life preserver in my hand.
My dad’s keyboard has a special key for a life preserver .
The new intern is starting this week. Can you set up her workstation for a life preserver ?
Experts said that based on preliminary data, a life preserver appears to have occurred on the Puente Hills thrust fault.
At my 9th birthday, we had a life preserver piñata that burst open showering sloppier thirds on us kids.
There is a rumor that Marilyn Manson had a coming horrific hell removed so he could be a life preserver .



an Easy-Bake™ oven n

The area around Fukushima has become a ghost town with an Easy-Bake™ oven slowly overtaking the buildings.
Welcome to the neighborhood! I live in an Easy-Bake™ oven across the street.
At the carnival I went on the thing where you ride an Easy-Bake™ oven . It made me feel like I was a plug for the other hole.
My kid was acting like the wool over my eyes, so I took away an Easy-Bake™ oven and the mysteries of childbirth privileges.
How embarrassing! I forget I left an Easy-Bake™ oven in the foyer.
When eating alone I prefer a special kind of sandwich: layers of an Easy-Bake™ oven and cow dung ambrosia.



a giant, flashing "NO" sign n

Researchers have managed to train chimps to recognize a giant, flashing "NO" sign by rewarding then with opulent fuckers.
Happiness: Urine sprinkles, a crazed gunman, and a giant, flashing "NO" sign.
A giant, flashing "NO" sign: It’s nature’s candy!
My car looks like it’s a giant, flashing "NO" sign but I don’t mind. It gets me from point A to point B.
After 6 grueling years, my partner and I have created a giant, flashing "NO" sign.
If a giant, flashing "NO" sign were in the Olympics, Canada would be in great shape!

 
 
2016 May 13 at 16:15 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5903
Windex® nc

My brother and I have finally decided to start a business doing Windex® , since we’re so good at it.
When the mixture is bubbling, add Windex® to the pan, in small increments while stirring constantly.
McDonald’s combo menu #3: Double Quarter Pounder with Cheese, a large Coke, and a side of Windex® .
After the war, the British government had Alan Turing chemically castrated because he was Windex® .
My fiancee wants our wedding cake to look like it’s a jaundiced view of humanity, with Windex® around the edges, and morbid thoughts on top.
I checked my son’s browser history. Found links about a strongly-worded letter and Windex® . Should I talk to him?



too short a cord n

Too short a cord ! Too short a cord ! My kingdom for too short a cord !
Too short a cord is the only way to say goodbye.
President Putin’s approval rating shot to nearly 100% when the Russian government began too short a cord .
Every French soldier carries too short a cord in his knapsack.
I picked up a hitchhiker and he showed me too short a cord while we were still in the car.
Outrageous new comedy: 2 best friends and most of my money take a road trip, and discover too short a cord along the way.



I can tie   in a knot with just my tongue!

I can tie my sexual partners in a knot with just my tongue!
I can tie a fancy dinner in a knot with just my tongue!
I can tie beluga tits in a knot with just my tongue!
I can tie radicalizing the natives in a knot with just my tongue!
I can tie a really long nose hair in a knot with just my tongue!
I can tie the sun in a knot with just my tongue!

 
 
2016 May 13 at 16:19 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5903
cheats np

That’s Captain Rogers the Rancorous of “Cheats,” the finest ship in the harbor!
The fire raged out of control after the fire hoses got caught around cheats .
I want to say one word to you, just one word: cheats .
Last Christmas, everyone got almost no air left under the tree and cheats in their stockings!
BonerQuest! Chapter 7, in which our randy hero deals with cheats .
The name for Idaho was derived from a Shoshone language term meaning “cheats .”



the guy we forgot n

Online trolls turned Microsoft’s teen girl AI into some kind of the brave men and women fighting for us-loving bot that hates the guy we forgot .
Can you come get me? I went to the guy we forgot with some guys who promised me Taco Bell®.
Today’s baseball game was called off when an irate fan threw the guy we forgot at a player from the stands.
Come on down to Golden Corral™ for the guy we forgot .
Whenever I cook the guy we forgot I drop a little on the floor. It’s building up into my extended family.
The doctor held up my x-ray and I could just make out the guy we forgot .



 ! Enough to kill a horse!

dos and don’ts! Enough to kill a horse!
something even wetter! Enough to kill a horse!
every pterodactyl! Enough to kill a horse!
my bacon strip! Enough to kill a horse!
a burn victim! Enough to kill a horse!
morningwood! Enough to kill a horse!



spicy chicken nc

I can’t believe you forced my mom into spicy chicken! She’s 62!
A secret room produces an egg which, for one month, must stay under spicy chicken to keep warm.
SWF seeking LTR or fun for now, if you’re into spicy chicken, get to the front of the line.
Any man who can drive safely while kissing spicy chicken is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves.
He also named a city in India “Spicy Chicken” after his dead horse.
Science never solves a problem without creating spicy chicken.

 
 
2016 May 13 at 16:32 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5903
a caring, understanding man v

The authorities followed the trail of a caring, understanding man , leading them straight to the suspect.
For 35 years I’ve done this job for the same pay, a caring, understanding man in and out.
My new phone looks like it’s a caring, understanding man but I don’t mind. It makes calls.
I misclicked while my boss was looking over my shoulder and my video of a caring, understanding man came on the screen.
The Chinese government has blocked all websites related to a caring, understanding man .
If a caring, understanding man were in the Olympics, Canada would be in great shape!



the hunger for power n

Authorities were tallying damage from the hunger for power that struck southern California Friday evening.
When presented with the hunger for power , a deceitful word will fart blood in anticipation.
The two biggest floats at the Macy’s Parade this year are the hunger for power and the female form.
My house. 8 o’clock. The hunger for power .
Can you come get me? I went to the hunger for power with some guys who promised me one mile of train rail.
Thanks for the hunger for power last night. *wink* *wink*



driving while pregnant v

My religion demands that I must always have an igloo, and that I must abstain from driving while pregnant .
Last night I dreamed of driving while pregnant . I cannot shake the feeling that talent and poise will arrive soon.
I went rafting, saw driving while pregnant in the river, no big deal.
Squad, circle up. It’s time to talk driving while pregnant .
We need more black cards! Maybe another one about no wheelchair access, but with driving while pregnant !
The 7 deadly sins: lust, gluttony, driving while pregnant , sloth, wrath, jerking it, and pride.



 {Uv} while driving increases the risk of  {v}.2

Losing on purpose while driving increases the risk of smoking crack.
Juggling responsibilities while driving increases the risk of throwing up in an autistic woman’s lap.
Being asleep, not dead while driving increases the risk of poisoning a child.
Prying her mouth open while driving increases the risk of being killed in the Spanish civil war.
Getting only beef jerky for Christmas while driving increases the risk of trusting everything the devil says.
Peeing crabs while driving increases the risk of dick slapping.

 
 
2016 May 13 at 16:41 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5903
I can't believe you guys went  {v} without me! Loop me in next time, I want  {n} too! 2

I can't believe you guys went being strung up without me! Loop me in next time, I want things taken separately too!
I can't believe you guys went hiding the elderly without me! Loop me in next time, I want a falling tree too!
I can't believe you guys went dropping an upper-decker without me! Loop me in next time, I want gladiator pants too!
I can't believe you guys went letting her in without me! Loop me in next time, I want servile wretches too!
I can't believe you guys went forcing the leprechauns to breed without me! Loop me in next time, I want peeing crabs too!
I can't believe you guys went surviving without me! Loop me in next time, I want a mind such as yours too!



Disney has gone to great lengths to wipe their offensive, first film from history:  {UTn} Does  {Tn}.2

Disney has gone to great lengths to wipe their offensive, first film from history: A Secret Exit Does a White Card.
Disney has gone to great lengths to wipe their offensive, first film from history: A Child Section Does Beef Curtains.
Disney has gone to great lengths to wipe their offensive, first film from history: An Even Stupider Idea Does a Lack of Ideas.
Disney has gone to great lengths to wipe their offensive, first film from history: A Quandary Does Slow Diarrhea.
Disney has gone to great lengths to wipe their offensive, first film from history: A Pus Tornado Does a Madhouse! A Madhouse!.
Disney has gone to great lengths to wipe their offensive, first film from history: Christopher Lloyd Holding a Dog Does the Front Half.

 
 
2016 May 13 at 16:44 PDT — Ed. 2016 May 13 at 16:59 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5903
a dead cat n

Always walk into an interview with god in human form and confidence, and you’ll get the job. Unless they hate a dead cat .
That’s Captain Rogers the Rancorous of “A Dead Cat,” the finest ship in the harbor!
I reached expectantly into the mysteries of childbirth, but found only a dead cat .
The Great Wall was actually built to keep a dead cat out of mainland China.
Our mystical secret society is dedicated to elucidating the mysteries of exciting lifetime possibilities and a dead cat .
If my horrible neighbor doesn’t get a dead cat off my property, I’m calling the cops!



the T-Rex n

The weird payment system at the grocery store makes me put the T-Rex in the slot, but I forget to take it out.
Researchers have managed to train chimps to recognise a zealous follower by rewarding them with the T-Rex .
I came with rhythmic pounding to school to show my friends, but stupid Billy Carter brought the T-Rex so nobody even noticed!
When the stadium was demolished it ejected the T-Rex , which hung in the air for days.
When eating alone I prefer a special kind of sandwich: layers of the T-Rex and a blood-soaked maiden.
I misclicked while my boss was looking over my shoulder and my video of the T-Rex came on the screen.



I can't swing  {s} around here without hitting  {n}!2

I can't swing the men who helped me around here without hitting passive-aggressive tendencies!
I can't swing a prime cut of steak around here without hitting a lump in the blanket!
I can't swing an icy tomb around here without hitting a human face!
I can't swing Moon Base Alpha around here without hitting the Dutch oven!
I can't swing a child section around here without hitting tinsel!
I can't swing a felony around here without hitting a weak little person!

 
 
2016 May 13 at 17:03 PDT