SuperJer Against Humanity Suggestions PART 2

SuperJer Against Humanity Suggestions PART 2

General — Page 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 49, 50, 51, 52, 53, 54, 55, 56, 57, 58, 59, [60], 61, 62, 63, 64, 65, 66, 67, 68, 69, 70, 71, 72, 73, 74, 75, 76, 77, 78, 79, 80, 81, 82, 83, 84, 85, 86, 87, 88, 89, 90, 91, 92, 93, 94, 95, 96, 97
Signa
2013 Dec 28 • 136
A boy with a penis n

Here on the assembly line we heat A boy with a penis to a steaming, bright cherry red, and this next machine over here is turning over.
The thief was caught stealing A boy with a penis from the sultan, and so was thrown into the pit of sinister plans.
Meet me by the new modern art installation downtown. You know, it’s A boy with a penis straddled by tiny uranium rods.
My dad’s keyboard has a special key for A boy with a penis.
At the new circus in town, three jugglers throw each other A boy with a penis, while a man is shooting a rabbit with an arrow on a galloping horse.
You evaded my “A Boy with a Penis” attack! Most impressive.

 
 
2017 Jan 21 at 01:31 PST
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5698
non-stop hyper-aggressive super-murder nc

The true reason for the Tacoma Narrows Bridge collapse? Non-stop hyper-aggressive super-murder.
Driving late at night, I was horrified to find non-stop hyper-aggressive super-murder in the back seat.
I picked up a hitchhiker and he showed me non-stop hyper-aggressive super-murder while we were still in the car.
I think that ecstasy was cut with non-stop hyper-aggressive super-murder. After one hit I began very, very rapidly windmilling.
The survey team detected non-stop hyper-aggressive super-murder at the work site so I threw stylized male violence in my truck and drove straight there.
When I was bodybuilding I tried to dead-lift a leak over my head, but non-stop hyper-aggressive super-murder got in the way.

 
 
2017 Jan 21 at 15:33 PST
jeff is wizlord

2014 Nov 12 • 276
party bitches np

Every time I go to Costco I feel like I come back with party bitches.
Man invented very depraved porn, so woman invented party bitches.
In New York, a new law went into effect at midnight making it legal to buy party bitches one ounce at a time.
You stole party bitches from a charity? That’s like taking candy from a baby! You’re everything under the sea and you’re going to hell!
The new Harley-Davidson hog’s got a Hot Pocket® painted on both sides, which some say encourages party bitches.
I went rafting, saw party bitches in the river, no big deal.

 
 
2017 Jan 21 at 20:58 PST
jeff is wizlord

2014 Nov 12 • 276
Pizza obsessed fairies wielding box cutters np

The authorities followed the trail of Pizza obsessed fairies wielding box cutters, leading them straight to the suspect.
My dad’s keyboard has a special key for Pizza obsessed fairies wielding box cutters.
Pizza obsessed fairies wielding box cutters saved is Pizza obsessed fairies wielding box cutters earned.
During routine surgery, the doctors found Pizza obsessed fairies wielding box cutters embedded in my abdomen.
People around the world recognize Pizza obsessed fairies wielding box cutters as the unofficial symbol of the USA.
Ah, Pizza obsessed fairies wielding box cutters for my collection. Now no one has more than me.

 
 
2017 Jan 22 at 18:49 PST
Nezumi
Asshole Admin

1-Up Medal
2005 Mar 26 • 553
175 ₧
St Anthony's Home for the Goofy nc

The way to the lost city was perilous, and we soon found ourselves knee deep in St Anthony's Home for the Goofy.
I need a hotel room with balls caught in the car window, and I need St Anthony's Home for the Goofy brought to me every four hours.
Is there a free outlet? I need to plug in and charge St Anthony's Home for the Goofy.
On Ebay you can get St Anthony's Home for the Goofy but it comes in several tiny boxes.
Researchers have trained chimps to recognise St Anthony's Home for the Goofy by rewarding them with NAMBLA.
I reached expectantly into St Anthony's Home for the Goofy, but found only ear worms.

 
 
2017 Jan 23 at 00:28 PST
aaronjer
*****'n Admin

Comrade General 5-Star
2005 Mar 21 • 4599
1,227 ₧
allowing me to die v

All the best love stories include allowing me to die.
I got a new app on my phone. It’s called “A More Imminent Danger” and it helps me with allowing me to die.
Allowing me to die is legally grounds for divorcing your wife in 28 states.
You stole the juiciest cunt I ever seen in my life from a charity? That’s like taking candy from a baby! You’re allowing me to die and you’re going to hell!
I thought I was being attacked, so I defended myself with allowing me to die.
I checked my son’s browser history. Found links about allowing me to die and mistreating the clitoris. Should I talk to him?

 
 
2017 Jan 23 at 12:18 PST
Nezumi
Asshole Admin

1-Up Medal
2005 Mar 26 • 553
175 ₧
blaming me for this mess v

Welcome to Denny’s®! I am blaming me for this mess. Would you like to try our new special, tumbling down a mountain?
Although moving away from blaming me for this mess proved effective for schools, the switch to those responsible initially led to a spike of child hospitalizations.
I don’t give money to the homeless. Instead I provide blaming me for this mess directly.
What the large recoil department lacks in selection, we make up for in blaming me for this mess.
Thank you ladies and gentlemen! For my next performance art piece, I will be blaming me for this mess.
Cambodia’s economy is entirely dependent on blaming me for this mess.

 
 
2017 Jan 23 at 17:14 PST
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5698
Why do you have to turn this into  {s} situation?

Why do you have to turn this into a falling piano situation?
Why do you have to turn this into a bulky frame, sturdy legs, and rounded cloven hooves situation?
Why do you have to turn this into another way in situation?
Why do you have to turn this into a blood-soaked maiden situation?
Why do you have to turn this into a shard of shrapnel situation?
Why do you have to turn this into a tissue situation?



We're having  {s} situation. Watch out for   and please stand by...2

We're having a cold hearted assassin situation. Watch out for zebras disguised as horses and please stand by...
We're having my brother, who I’m sure you remember situation. Watch out for Christopher Lloyd holding a dog and please stand by...
We're having an impressively rendered vagina situation. Watch out for googly eyes and please stand by...
We're having a cunt slap situation. Watch out for the king and his family and please stand by...
We're having a fluid-filled body cavity situation. Watch out for undressing and please stand by...
We're having an old hornet situation. Watch out for donkeydump and please stand by...

 
 
2017 Jan 24 at 23:43 PST — Ed. 2017 Jan 24 at 23:46 PST
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5698
a way out through the attic n

We couldn’t land because of a way out through the attic caught in the landing gear. We had to crash land on the runway like freezing solid.
I misclicked while my boss was looking over my shoulder and my video of a way out through the attic came on the screen.
When the research team activated the interdimensional portal, a way out through the attic emerged.
Someone has to die in order that the rest of us should value a way out through the attic more. Now hold still.
I’ve been chopping down trees to build a way out through the attic for me and my wife.
I pushed hard enough to snap a way out through the attic, but some powerful kind of thunderous applause was blocking the door.



having done goofed v

I didn’t think this house would sell with a crouton in the attic. Anyway, I’m having done goofed.
Throughout human history, having done goofed has been the first activity of explorers of any new region.
“You didn’t even get me anything for my birthday!” “Yes I did, remember having done goofed?”
When I saw sea urchins I was scared, but when it started coming toward me, having done goofed, I went white as a sheet!
In my wild days I was having done goofed, among other crimes. They finally caught me doing it with a coming horrific hell on the New Mexico border.
Don’t shake joie de vivre so hard, it’ll start having done goofed.

 
 
2017 Jan 24 at 23:55 PST
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5698
reattaching a limb v

IBM’s new “green” office building gets 20% of its power from reattaching a limb, and the eco-glass windows trap in Satan’s dark snatch.
And my mother said, “How come you’re not reattaching a limb like your brother?”
Help! I’m reattaching a limb and I need YOU to do something about it!
The three techniques of Sumo Wrestling: Sabotage, reattaching a limb and a real sonuvabitch.
My teacher graded my paper F because I wrote about reattaching a limb.
At the new circus in town, three jugglers throw each other something equivalent, while a man is reattaching a limb on a galloping horse.

 
 
2017 Jan 25 at 00:10 PST
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5698
My school is throwing  {s} party this weekend. Come for  . Stay for  !3

My school is throwing an ovipositor party this weekend. Come for a humiliated animal. Stay for the girl in this photo!
My school is throwing a really long nose hair party this weekend. Come for good people. Stay for animal friends!
My school is throwing a sack party this weekend. Come for putting my mouth on it. Stay for getting tickled until you bust a nut!
My school is throwing a pale reflection party this weekend. Come for the instructions. Stay for a tender moment!
My school is throwing not another leopard party this weekend. Come for my secret place. Stay for too much denim!
My school is throwing a technicality party this weekend. Come for like a vial of meth smoke, but not. Stay for just not much food!

 
 
2017 Jan 25 at 13:35 PST — Ed. 2017 Jan 25 at 13:39 PST
aaronjer
*****'n Admin

Comrade General 5-Star
2005 Mar 21 • 4599
1,227 ₧
the boy's amusement n

At LAX travelers were horrified to see the boy's amusement spilling onto the baggage carousel, then one after another.
This workplace has gone (0) days without the boy's amusement.
Great job on the proposal for putting the “I” back in “team”, Dave! You're in line for a raise, and the boss might even give you the boy's amusement.
I went rafting, saw the boy's amusement in the river, no big deal.
The refugees must be relocated because the shelter is right on top of the boy's amusement.
I didn’t have any cash, so I tipped the pizza guy with the boy's amusement.

 
 
2017 Jan 26 at 02:07 PST
aaronjer
*****'n Admin

Comrade General 5-Star
2005 Mar 21 • 4599
1,227 ₧
a girl's smile n

Here’s a certificate for a girl's smile. I am at your service.
1) A robot may not injure a girl's smile, or through inaction allow a girl's smile to come to harm.
Ugh. I ate the most humane action last night and I’ve been trying to put on a girl's smile all morning.
If my neighbor doesn’t get a girl's smile off my property, I’m calling the cops!
I was so surprised to see a girl's smile that a comfortable spot fell out of my mouth.
During my driving test, I backed my car into a girl's smile. I still got an 85!

 
 
2017 Jan 26 at 02:08 PST — Ed. 2017 Jan 26 at 02:10 PST
Nezumi
Asshole Admin

1-Up Medal
2005 Mar 26 • 553
175 ₧
Futurama just gave me a twofer:

lots of harmless pinching vt

Thanks for lots of harmless pinching last night. *wink* *wink*
When I get older, I don’t want to be lots of harmless pinching.
Come on down to Golden Corral™ for lots of harmless pinching.
The 13 colonies were founded on the principles of liberty, brotherhood, and lots of harmless pinching.
Factory workers at Foxconn who leap out of windows will now be saved by lots of harmless pinching around the building.
Don’t shake an army of 35,000 men so hard, it’ll start lots of harmless pinching.



being forced through a fine mesh screen v

Men, like something I just hate, go farthest when they are being forced through a fine mesh screen.
Although moving away from morphine proved effective for schools, the switch to being forced through a fine mesh screen initially led to a spike of child hospitalizations.
R Kelly fantasizes about being forced through a fine mesh screen with a young Beyonce.
Being forced through a fine mesh screen brings a shitty, useless planet to a child’s face.
I’m grounded ‘cuz my parents saw me being forced through a fine mesh screen at the party last night.
J. Robert Oppenheimer is often called the father of being forced through a fine mesh screen.

 
 
2017 Jan 26 at 02:51 PST
Signa
2013 Dec 28 • 136
a missing pickle n

Oh dear God! That was the last of my medication for “A Missing Pickle” syndrome!
I can’t swing a missing pickle around here without hitting insipid fools!
When large recoil is ready, a missing pickle will appear.
On the assembly line we heat a missing pickle to a steaming, bright cherry red. And this next machine over here is “forgetting” to knock.
The Halifax bridge finally collapsed under the intense weight of a missing pickle.
I misclicked while my boss was looking over my shoulder and my video of a missing pickle came on the screen.

 
 
2017 Jan 26 at 11:24 PST
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5698
wiping it on my leg v

We couldn’t land because of bodily harm caught in the landing gear. We had to crash land on the runway like wiping it on my leg.
For 35 years I’ve done this job for the same pay, wiping it on my leg every single day.
Kinect automatically recognizes when you’re wiping it on my leg and turns itself on to broadcast it to your friends.
I’m getting a lie that corrupts the Earth installed in my car, so I can be wiping it on my leg while I drive.
Hark! What wiping it on my leg through yonder window breaks?
Populations of endangered rhinoceros are threatened by wiping it on my leg and a squeaky-clean bottom.



I thought I was alone with  {n} but my mom walked in. To avoid getting caught I wiped it under  {n}.2

I thought I was alone with King Edward’s sexual licentiousness but my mom walked in. To avoid getting caught I wiped it under the Lord.
I thought I was alone with competitive masturbation but my mom walked in. To avoid getting caught I wiped it under bed inspectors.
I thought I was alone with mercury poisoning but my mom walked in. To avoid getting caught I wiped it under a wasted life.
I thought I was alone with a pig in the middle but my mom walked in. To avoid getting caught I wiped it under a pussy, wet and dripping.
I thought I was alone with rival anthills but my mom walked in. To avoid getting caught I wiped it under a big, red X.
I thought I was alone with omens but my mom walked in. To avoid getting caught I wiped it under existential ennui.

 
 
2017 Jan 27 at 13:35 PST — Ed. 2017 Jan 27 at 13:35 PST
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5698
Sometimes, when I'm feeling naughty, I start  {v} before  .2

Sometimes, when I'm feeling naughty, I start attacking everything in your path before a urologist.
Sometimes, when I'm feeling naughty, I start zigzagging wildly before a good strategy.
Sometimes, when I'm feeling naughty, I start keeping the pressure on before driving like a butt munch.
Sometimes, when I'm feeling naughty, I start mopping it up with your underpants before alcohol.
Sometimes, when I'm feeling naughty, I start dropping an upper-decker before Satan’s mother.
Sometimes, when I'm feeling naughty, I start giving birth to a prosthetic baby before a predator.

 
 
2017 Jan 27 at 13:38 PST — Ed. 2017 Jan 27 at 13:38 PST
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5698
The Luba of Central Africa are the only known culture with a specific word for  .

The Luba of Central Africa are the only known culture with a specific word for that jackass.
The Luba of Central Africa are the only known culture with a specific word for ideas above your station.
The Luba of Central Africa are the only known culture with a specific word for a lack of ideas.
The Luba of Central Africa are the only known culture with a specific word for a guillotine.
The Luba of Central Africa are the only known culture with a specific word for stainless steel plating.
The Luba of Central Africa are the only known culture with a specific word for rubbery, cleaner poops.



squeezing between v

After the war, the British government had Alan Turing chemically castrated because he was squeezing between.
I surreptitiously crawled into bed, only to find squeezing between.
New extreme Mountain Dew™ flavor: Squeezing Between Blast!
My religion demands that I must abstain from a squealing 6- and 10-year-old. Squeezing between however, is OK.
Apparently, “Squeezing Between” is a dance move in the Hip-Hop and B-Boy community.
See now black people walk like barely any swag. But white people -- white people walk like they’re squeezing between!

 
 
2017 Jan 27 at 13:40 PST — Ed. 2017 Jan 27 at 13:54 PST
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5698
the problem with America n

If you kids don’t stop driving like a butt munch, I will turn the problem with America around!
There is no “I” in “team” but there is an “I” in “the problem with America”.
Ich bin ein the problem with America.
The water tower looks like it’s the problem with America from this angle.
J. Robert Oppenheimer is often called the father of the problem with America.
Don’t email me at work! Email me at my personal address: the-problem-with-america@spines.net



The problem with America is  .

The problem with America is something I just hate.
The problem with America is smoky chipotle flavored scuba air.
The problem with America is a rap artist.
The problem with America is real life.
The problem with America is a powerful skeleton, William Howard Taft.
The problem with America is eight sexual partners.

 
 
2017 Jan 29 at 12:35 PST — Ed. 2017 Jan 29 at 12:36 PST
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5698
When the Eulagisca worm wants to feed, the entire front of its throat rolls out of  {n}.

When the Eulagisca worm wants to feed, the entire front of its throat rolls out of the dark place of eternal stillness.
When the Eulagisca worm wants to feed, the entire front of its throat rolls out of leftover McDonald’s®.
When the Eulagisca worm wants to feed, the entire front of its throat rolls out of maximum bitch mode.
When the Eulagisca worm wants to feed, the entire front of its throat rolls out of my innards.
When the Eulagisca worm wants to feed, the entire front of its throat rolls out of witnesses.
When the Eulagisca worm wants to feed, the entire front of its throat rolls out of Mom and Dad.

 
 
2017 Jan 31 at 12:58 PST — Ed. 2017 Jan 31 at 12:59 PST
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5698
Jennifer Connelly riding a horse n

As an homage to humanity, NASA has broadcasted Jennifer Connelly riding a horse to the vastness of space.
Ever since the incident with knowing hell I’ve been haunted by Jennifer Connelly riding a horse.
I pushed hard enough to snap Jennifer Connelly riding a horse, but some powerful kind of “Cajun style” was blocking the door.
When the celestial spheres align, Jennifer Connelly riding a horse will descend from the heavens.
Sometimes, when hiking through the woods, you might cross paths with Jennifer Connelly riding a horse. So bring acts of piracy.
Trapped again, MacGyver began his escape with only large recoil and Jennifer Connelly riding a horse.



 
 
2017 Jan 31 at 12:59 PST — Ed. 2017 Feb 4 at 09:38 PST
aaronjer
*****'n Admin

Comrade General 5-Star
2005 Mar 21 • 4599
1,227 ₧
being kind to a stupid tranny v

... And so my mom asked me, “If all your friends were being kind to a stupid tranny, would you be being kind to a stupid tranny as well?”
We finally hired a guy at work to take care of being kind to a stupid tranny.
If you kids don’t stop cheating, I will turn being kind to a stupid tranny around!
Life is so strange. I went to college to learn a dirigible death match, but now for work I’m being kind to a stupid tranny. Go figure!
On the assembly line we heat a lie that corrupts the Earth to a steaming, bright cherry red. And this next machine over here is being kind to a stupid tranny.
The survey team detected being kind to a stupid tranny at the work site so I threw rigid peen in my truck and drove straight there.

 
 
2017 Feb 1 at 16:46 PST
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5698
the bacon reserves n

No one in Morocco can be the bacon reserves without registering with the government.
There is a rumor that Marilyn Manson had the bacon reserves removed so he could be a soap bubble.
1) A robot may not injure the bacon reserves, or through inaction allow the bacon reserves to come to harm.
New extreme Mountain Dew™ flavor: The Bacon Reserves Blast!
Whenever I cook the bacon reserves I drop a little on the floor. It’s building up into ideological differences.
Howdy neighbor, love a powerful skeleton, William Howard Taft! Let’s get the bacon reserves sometime!



black votes np

Help! I can’t find my daughter! She looks like a bellow of sympathy and is carrying black votes.
The new hit reality show: Can You Swallow Black Votes?
When the celestial spheres align, black votes will descend from the heavens.
Life is so strange. I went to college to learn booms and flashes, but now for work I’m black votes. Go figure!
If you ask me, black votes makes good neighbors.
Black votes isn’t getting old, but I sure am!



the African-American community n

You can’t get the African-American community big enough or beef curtains long enough to suit me.
10% of all proceeds from sales of the African-American community will go to The Potent Neurotoxins Foundation.
Sir, you have a phone call. Something about the African-American community?
Jan Sobieski, leading the largest charge of one of every drug in history, rode into battle atop the African-American community.
Police were able to track the suspect after finding DNA evidence in the African-American community.
I booby-trapped my yard so that trespassers will be surprised by the African-American community.

 
 
2017 Feb 1 at 19:23 PST — Ed. 2017 Feb 1 at 19:29 PST
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5698
A bottle of soda every day has as much sugar as  .

A bottle of soda every day has as much sugar as a death sentence.
A bottle of soda every day has as much sugar as never coming to fruition.
A bottle of soda every day has as much sugar as a falling tree.
A bottle of soda every day has as much sugar as something we assumed to be true.
A bottle of soda every day has as much sugar as just rockin’ that ass.
A bottle of soda every day has as much sugar as beard stroking.



Drinking a bottle of soda every day is the equivalent of  .

Drinking a bottle of soda every day is the equivalent of spinning like a bitch.
Drinking a bottle of soda every day is the equivalent of vile doings.
Drinking a bottle of soda every day is the equivalent of a watchful guard.
Drinking a bottle of soda every day is the equivalent of a disgrace.
Drinking a bottle of soda every day is the equivalent of the moron I hired to kill you.
Drinking a bottle of soda every day is the equivalent of tight clothes.

 
 
2017 Feb 2 at 11:16 PST
jeff is wizlord

2014 Nov 12 • 276
an unhealthy amount of butt sex nc

Music without the sounds of an unhealthy amount of butt sex is hardly music at all.
The Halifax bridge finally collapsed under the intense weight of an unhealthy amount of butt sex.
The cineplex has been using an unhealthy amount of butt sex in the popcorn machine because it’s cheaper than oil.
I can’t believe you guys went being bred in captivity without me! Loop me in next time, I want an unhealthy amount of butt sex too!
Getting an unhealthy amount of butt sex back out of a volcano is next to impossible.
I can’t shake the feeling there’s always an unhealthy amount of butt sex just around the corner.

 
 
2017 Feb 3 at 18:17 PST — Ed. 2017 Feb 3 at 18:17 PST
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