SuperJer Against Humanity Suggestions PART 2

SuperJer Against Humanity Suggestions PART 2

General — Page 1 2 3 ... 35 36 37 [38] 39 40 41 ... 108 109 110
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5955
our song n

Don’t email me at work! Email me at my personal address: our-song@axl-rose-and-his-big-teeth.net
Our mystical secret society is dedicated to elucidating the mysteries of our song startling a tweaker.
Work on the Taft bridge ground to a halt, due to the union’s demands for our song.
The Great Wall was actually built to keep our song out of mainland China.
The area around Fukushima has become a ghost town with our song slowly overtaking the buildings.
I want to be buried with our song.

 
 
2016 Oct 15 at 17:57 PDT — Ed. 2016 Oct 15 at 18:01 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5955
I just dug up  {n} in my backyard! I had no idea this place had  .2

I just dug up those glorious gams in my backyard! I had no idea this place had all white moms.
I just dug up a costly alliance in my backyard! I had no idea this place had a real jerk-off.
I just dug up the man who is stalking me in my backyard! I had no idea this place had my hater.
I just dug up ammunition in my backyard! I had no idea this place had the next time.
I just dug up a carafe of broccoli chowder in my backyard! I had no idea this place had just plain racism.
I just dug up divorce papers in my backyard! I had no idea this place had what makes my girlfriend scream when I put it in her mouth.

 
 
2016 Oct 15 at 18:05 PDT — Ed. 2016 Oct 15 at 18:08 PDT
Nezumi
Asshole Admin

1-Up Medal
2005 Mar 26 • 554
175 ₧
I think we already have some similar cards, but:

industrial adhesive nc

In the public industrial adhesive model, a third-party service provider delivers the industrial adhesive service over the Internet.
To brew a love potion, besides eye of newt you need industrial adhesive and all the beer.
Until quite recently, industrial adhesive had the highest tensile strength of any substance known to man.
How did I get hurt? I got my foot caught in a bucket of mandibles, tumbled down the escalator and crashed into industrial adhesive.
I’m undergoing immersion therapy by continually exposing myself to industrial adhesive.
I like my women like I like reaching around: not knowing or caring why with industrial adhesive.


industrial solvent nc

Is there a free outlet? I need to plug in and charge industrial solvent.
My father abandoned my mother and I because he was industrial solvent.
For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into udders. It was not my lips you kissed, but industrial solvent.
Chris Angel hurled the deck of cards at a day at the beach and my card appeared in industrial solvent!
In the end, the obvious plot twist was that the serial killer was actually industrial solvent.
I’m glad you’re my new roomie, my last one was always industrial solvent. Always.

 
 
2016 Oct 15 at 21:36 PDT
aaronjer
*****'n Admin

Comrade General 5-Star
2005 Mar 21 • 4599
1,227 ₧
drunk sexting your sister v

Then God said, “Let there be drunk sexting your sister”; and there was drunk sexting your sister. And God saw that drunk sexting your sister was good.
I’ve got a master’s degree in Drunk Sexting Your Sister!
There is no revenge so complete as drunk sexting your sister.
Doctor, you’re a genius! No one has ever thought of using drunk sexting your sister to treat all your drama!
I can’t believe you guys went drunk sexting your sister without me! Loop me in next time, I want my hood too!
Tomorrow the city is throwing a ticker-tape to celebrate drunk sexting your sister.

 
 
2016 Oct 15 at 22:48 PDT — Ed. 2016 Oct 15 at 22:50 PDT
aaronjer
*****'n Admin

Comrade General 5-Star
2005 Mar 21 • 4599
1,227 ₧
drunk sexting my sister v

I had a really good childhood up until I was nine, then drunk sexting my sister really affected me.
It’s not delivery. It’s drunk sexting my sister.
A heroin-caked frying pan locked in a safe nearly killed me in my dream. I think it's my brain telling me to avoid drunk sexting my sister.
For 35 years I’ve done this job for the same pay, drunk sexting my sister every single day.
Pool rules: No running. No drunk sexting my sister. Keep three carrots out of the deep end.
I didn’t think this house would sell with a meat hook in the attic. Anyway, I’m drunk sexting my sister.

 
 
2016 Oct 15 at 22:51 PDT
Nezumi
Asshole Admin

1-Up Medal
2005 Mar 26 • 554
175 ₧
butt magic nc

The survey team detected butt magic at the work site so I threw a very old jellybean in my truck and drove straight there.
My kid was acting like a quirky, vegan CEO, so I took away butt magic privileges.
When the research team activated the interdimensional portal, butt magic emerged.
At the winery tour we saw how they put a pregnant teen and grapes in the tank, but it smelled like butt magic.
When he reached the New World, Cortés burned butt magic. As a result, his men were well motivated.
I came with a bottle of urine to school to show my friends, but stupid Billy Carter brought butt magic so nobody even noticed!

 
 
2016 Oct 16 at 02:22 PDT — Ed. 2016 Oct 16 at 02:22 PDT
Nezumi
Asshole Admin

1-Up Medal
2005 Mar 26 • 554
175 ₧
that bastard Billy Carter n

Oh dear God! That was the last of my medication for “That Bastard Billy Carter” syndrome!
And my mother said, “How come you’re not that bastard Billy Carter like your brother?”
I left my wife at home all day and she replaced a moral boundary with that bastard Billy Carter.
Our mystical secret society is dedicated to elucidating the mysteries of that bastard Billy Carter riding your bike down the Luxor.
Pundits agree it will take that bastard Billy Carter for the senator to win the election.
We’re having a garage sale to get rid of that bastard Billy Carter, organic porpoise semen, and a coarse wind.

 
 
2016 Oct 16 at 02:24 PDT
aaronjer
*****'n Admin

Comrade General 5-Star
2005 Mar 21 • 4599
1,227 ₧
marrying my dad v

This workplace has gone (0) days without marrying my dad.
The new Harley-Davidson hog’s got a suffering bastard painted on both sides, which some say encourages marrying my dad.
For science class we went on a field trip to see how marrying my dad happens.
The Great Wall was actually built to keep marrying my dad out of mainland China.
Marrying my dad has proven extremely popular among young, urban audiences in focus testing.
For my last meal I want bellowing seasoned heavily with marrying my dad.

 
 
2016 Oct 16 at 02:25 PDT
aaronjer
*****'n Admin

Comrade General 5-Star
2005 Mar 21 • 4599
1,227 ₧
a little surprise incest nc

Driving late at night, I was horrified to find a little surprise incest in the back seat.
The night before Easter, we’ll set up a little surprise incest on the porch to surprise the kids.
When the stadium was demolished it ejected a little surprise incest, which hung in the air for days.
In New York, a new law went into effect at midnight making it legal to buy a little surprise incest one ounce at a time.
My publisher demanded I remove a little surprise incest from my manuscript because it’s “not decent.”
I would have never thought that I’d actually be a Secret Service agent while I’m a little surprise incest!

 
 
2016 Oct 16 at 02:26 PDT — Ed. 2016 Oct 16 at 02:28 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5955
doing laundry v

And my mother said, “How come you’re not doing laundry like your brother?”
My daughter came home crying because the kids at school said she was doing laundry.
Don’t shake a complete wimp so hard, it’ll start doing laundry.
When I get older, I don’t want to be doing laundry.
Pool rules: No running. No doing laundry. Keep a karate chop out of the deep end.
My nightly ritual involves a Russian bride, the top 3 floors, and finally doing laundry just as I fall asleep.



taking my shirt off v

Can you come get me? I agreed to go with some guys who promised me taking my shirt off and it’s getting weird.
I can’t believe you forced my mom into taking my shirt off! She’s 62!
I’m glad you’re my new roomie, my last one was always taking my shirt off. Always.
Terrified, I scrambled up the tree, with rhythmic pounding jumping and nipping at me from below and even taking my shirt off.
A social skill is any skill facilitating taking my shirt off with others.
At the winery tour we saw how they put a tiny bat crawling up your peehole and grapes in the tank, but it smelled like taking my shirt off.

 
 
2016 Oct 16 at 11:53 PDT — Ed. 2016 Oct 16 at 12:40 PDT
Nezumi
Asshole Admin

1-Up Medal
2005 Mar 26 • 554
175 ₧
Just for variety:

that coward Billy Carter n

I booby-trapped my yard so that trespassers will be surprised by that coward Billy Carter.
I’m undergoing immersion therapy by continually exposing myself to that coward Billy Carter.
In this 15th century painting, #1 Dad is represented by a man with that coward Billy Carter for a head.
I refuse to roleplay as anything but that coward Billy Carter.
That coward Billy Carter: It’s nature’s candy!
For my last meal I want that coward Billy Carter seasoned heavily with white-knuckled terror.

 
 
2016 Oct 16 at 12:24 PDT
Nezumi
Asshole Admin

1-Up Medal
2005 Mar 26 • 554
175 ₧
the loudest sound in history n

Someone has to die in order that the rest of us should value the loudest sound in history more. Now hold still.
A woman is like a teabag. You can’t tell how strong she is until you put her in the loudest sound in history.
Welcome to the neighborhood! I live down the street. You’ll recognize my house with the loudest sound in history.
I don’t give money to the homeless. Instead I provide the loudest sound in history directly.
Factory workers at Foxconn who leap out of windows will now be saved by the loudest sound in history around the building.
We’re having a garage sale to get rid of the loudest sound in history, Angelina Jolie’s lips, and fly honeys.

 
 
2016 Oct 16 at 21:24 PDT
Nezumi
Asshole Admin

1-Up Medal
2005 Mar 26 • 554
175 ₧
this live grenade n

People are freaking out because the new Happy Meal PEZ® dispenser is this live grenade.
Police were able to track the suspect after finding DNA evidence in this live grenade.
Come on down to Golden Corral™ for this live grenade.
Someone has to die in order that the rest of us should value this live grenade more. Now hold still.
The survey team detected a big ol’ fruit at the work site so I threw this live grenade in my truck and drove straight there.
The Chinese government has blocked all websites related to this live grenade.

 
 
2016 Oct 17 at 02:48 PDT — Ed. 2016 Oct 17 at 02:50 PDT
aaronjer
*****'n Admin

Comrade General 5-Star
2005 Mar 21 • 4599
1,227 ₧
apologizing for real this time v

The 13 colonies were founded on the principles of liberty, brotherhood, and apologizing for real this time.
If you have a dream about apologizing for real this time, it meas you’re worried about swindling queers.
There is no revenge so complete as apologizing for real this time.
I noticed symptoms of apologizing for real this time, so I went to my naturopathic doctor. He said, “it’s our fraternity ritual!” but I’m not sure.
Early rugby’s rules: carry the ball as only my index finger, score points by apologizing for real this time, and bucketloads shall not be on the field.
I’ll never know why my grandparents find apologizing for real this time so relaxing.

 
 
2016 Oct 17 at 03:14 PDT — Ed. 2016 Oct 17 at 03:15 PDT
aaronjer
*****'n Admin

Comrade General 5-Star
2005 Mar 21 • 4599
1,227 ₧
making it hurt v

If you see your dog scooting his butt on the carpet, it probably mean he’s making it hurt.
For my last meal I want a child section seasoned heavily with making it hurt.
In public restrooms, I’m always afraid someone will walk in, all bodily harm, right while I’m making it hurt.
No one in Morocco can be making it hurt without registering with the government.
Cambodia’s economy is entirely dependent on making it hurt.
I got written up at work today for running to the bathroom and making it hurt. There was a report.



dying in a fire v

You’ve got to come see the baby, it’s as cute as dying in a fire.
It’s not delivery. It’s dying in a fire.
In this 15th century painting, dying in a fire is represented by a man with grabby hands for a head.
Pundits agree it will take dying in a fire for the senator to win the election.
If you have a dream about 100 steps, it meas you’re worried about dying in a fire.
The rich aroma of dying in a fire, from the hills of Colombia.

 
 
2016 Oct 17 at 03:16 PDT — Ed. 2016 Oct 17 at 03:22 PDT
aaronjer
*****'n Admin

Comrade General 5-Star
2005 Mar 21 • 4599
1,227 ₧
stretching it till it rips v

In this 15th century painting, stretching it till it rips is represented by a man with a bear in a trashcan for a head.
After the war, the British government had Alan Turing chemically castrated because he was stretching it till it rips.
My publisher demanded I remove stretching it till it rips from my manuscript because it’s “not decent.”
Chimps in the wild have been observed using stretching it till it rips to forage for food.
My religion demands that I must abstain from impacting my sister. Stretching it till it rips however, is OK.
IBM’s new “green” office building gets 20% of its power from stretching it till it rips, and the eco-glass windows trap in the southwest corner.

 
 
2016 Oct 17 at 03:24 PDT — Ed. 2016 Oct 17 at 03:30 PDT
aaronjer
*****'n Admin

Comrade General 5-Star
2005 Mar 21 • 4599
1,227 ₧
a sudden penetration n

Work on the Taft bridge ground to a halt, due to the union’s demands for a sudden penetration.
Two best friends and cooter muscles take a road trip, and discover a sudden penetration along the way.
You spent all your food-stamps on a sudden penetration?!
Go, go, Gadget a Sudden Penetration!
When the stadium was demolished it ejected a sudden penetration, which hung in the air for days.
Facebook just bought Silicon Valley tech startup Tiny Men Co., tapping into the growing market for a sudden penetration.

 
 
2016 Oct 17 at 03:31 PDT
aaronjer
*****'n Admin

Comrade General 5-Star
2005 Mar 21 • 4599
1,227 ₧
Lucy Liu has studied various rituals of  . She has stated, "I prefer  ."2

Lucy Liu has studied various rituals of a prybar. She has stated, "I prefer poking all the little bugs."
Lucy Liu has studied various rituals of a submissive sex android. She has stated, "I prefer bitches on the love throne."
Lucy Liu has studied various rituals of a child section. She has stated, "I prefer just a video game."
Lucy Liu has studied various rituals of a Christmas tree. She has stated, "I prefer young crabs."
Lucy Liu has studied various rituals of getting tickled until you bust a nut. She has stated, "I prefer killing myself, rather than being disgraced."
Lucy Liu has studied various rituals of elbow grease. She has stated, "I prefer being controlled by a child."

 
 
2016 Oct 17 at 03:34 PDT — Ed. 2016 Oct 17 at 03:40 PDT
aaronjer
*****'n Admin

Comrade General 5-Star
2005 Mar 21 • 4599
1,227 ₧
People were shocked when photos were leaked of Scarlett Johansson smiling with  {n} in her lap.

People were shocked when photos were leaked of Scarlett Johansson smiling with seed in her lap.
People were shocked when photos were leaked of Scarlett Johansson smiling with a wayward dental implant in her lap.
People were shocked when photos were leaked of Scarlett Johansson smiling with five adult sons in her lap.
People were shocked when photos were leaked of Scarlett Johansson smiling with Gene Simmons’ tongue in her lap.
People were shocked when photos were leaked of Scarlett Johansson smiling with a coked up hooker in her lap.
People were shocked when photos were leaked of Scarlett Johansson smiling with compost in her lap.

 
 
2016 Oct 17 at 03:44 PDT — Ed. 2016 Oct 17 at 03:46 PDT
aaronjer
*****'n Admin

Comrade General 5-Star
2005 Mar 21 • 4599
1,227 ₧
outwitting a child v

I’m grounded ‘cuz my parents saw me outwitting a child at the party last night.
But I promised my kids they could get outwitting a child for Christmas!
My religion demands that I must abstain from getting HUGE. Outwitting a child however, is OK.
How did I get hurt? I got my foot caught in a bucket of their own mothers, tumbled down the escalator and crashed into outwitting a child.
The Halifax bridge failed under the intense weight of outwitting a child, so the temporary replacement uses a tard.
Here’s a certificate for outwitting a child. I am at your service.



murdering a pedophile v

The thief was caught stealing my replacement from the sultan, and so was thrown into the pit of murdering a pedophile.
Someone has to die in order that the rest of us should value murdering a pedophile more. Now hold still.
Murdering a pedophile nearly killed me in my dream. I think it's my brain telling me to avoid a big chicken order.
Don’t shake cardiac arrest so hard, it’ll start murdering a pedophile.
And my mother said, “How come you’re not murdering a pedophile like your brother?”
Growing up we never had ape sounds, but we had to deal with murdering a pedophile, and I want the opposite for my children.

 
 
2016 Oct 17 at 05:12 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5955
lunch nc

Ah, lunch for my collection. Now no one has more than me.
People are freaking out because the new Happy Meal PEZ® dispenser is lunch.
I was so surprised to see homo hot lips that lunch fell out of my mouth.
At spring training a foul ball bounced off simple pleasures in the stands and then knocked lunch off multiple cameras.
In this game you get to collect lunch and craft an angry penis for the woman.
Ever since the accident, I freeze in terror at the sight of lunch.



Jigglypuff! nc

Sometimes, when hiking through the woods, you might cross paths with military-themed porn. So bring Jigglypuff!.
Shepherds in Scotland have used five adult sons for years to keep the flock from Jigglypuff!.
Don’t look at me while I’m Jigglypuff!! It messes me up!
My dad’s keyboard has a special key for Jigglypuff!.
The new Ford F-750 with more torque than Jigglypuff!.
The refugees must be relocated because the shelter is right on top of Jigglypuff!.



autocorrect nc

People around the world recognize autocorrect as the unofficial symbol of the USA.
Your attempt to get little Susie what’s-her-name drunk on lime vodka ended with autocorrect.
Dagnabbit! I got autocorrect all jammed up in the wheel well again.
Astronaut Chris Hadfield is well known for sneaking autocorrect onto the International Space Station.
Every French soldier carries autocorrect in his knapsack.
For 35 years I’ve done this job for the same pay, autocorrect every single day.

 
 
2016 Oct 17 at 15:45 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5955
aaronjer said:

Lucy Liu has studied various rituals of  . She has stated, "I prefer  ."2

Lucy Liu has studied various rituals of things that aren’t fruit. She has stated, "I prefer running until you die."
Lucy Liu has studied various rituals of drugs. She has stated, "I prefer Dad’s money."
Lucy Liu has studied various rituals of hiding with your warriors. She has stated, "I prefer a feeding tube."
Lucy Liu has studied various rituals of spinning blades. She has stated, "I prefer feminine hygiene products."
Lucy Liu has studied various rituals of rubbery, cleaner poops. She has stated, "I prefer peanut butter in the mouth."
Lucy Liu has studied various rituals of being stuck forever. She has stated, "I prefer a moral boundary."




AaaaaAAAHHHH!!!!!!
 
 
2016 Oct 17 at 15:49 PDT — Ed. 2016 Oct 17 at 15:56 PDT
aaronjer
*****'n Admin

Comrade General 5-Star
2005 Mar 21 • 4599
1,227 ₧
my boys np

The water tower looks like it’s my boys from this angle.
At spring training a foul ball bounced off my boys in the stands and then knocked a leaf blower off a dense woolly undercoat over the chest.
My teacher graded my paper F because I wrote about my boys.
See now black people walk like my boys. But white people -- white people walk like they’re the finest quality cheese!
We finally hired a guy at work to take care of my boys.
After 6 grueling years, my partner and I have created my boys.

 
 
2016 Oct 18 at 03:20 PDT — Ed. 2016 Oct 18 at 03:21 PDT
Nezumi
Asshole Admin

1-Up Medal
2005 Mar 26 • 554
175 ₧
My parole officer is breathing down my neck. Could you buy me  ? I'll pay you back.

My parole officer is breathing down my neck. Could you buy me lips all licorice? I'll pay you back.
My parole officer is breathing down my neck. Could you buy me a bad chicken? I'll pay you back.
My parole officer is breathing down my neck. Could you buy me a flimsy pterodactyl? I'll pay you back.
My parole officer is breathing down my neck. Could you buy me $200 worth of Taco Bell™? I'll pay you back.
My parole officer is breathing down my neck. Could you buy me caressing a face? I'll pay you back.
My parole officer is breathing down my neck. Could you buy me a strangler? I'll pay you back.

 
 
2016 Oct 18 at 04:50 PDT
Nezumi
Asshole Admin

1-Up Medal
2005 Mar 26 • 554
175 ₧
The new artsy indie game uses  {nc} to explore   and real emotion.2

The new artsy indie game uses orgies to explore a bunch of kids and real emotion.
The new artsy indie game uses a suitcase full of guns and money to explore soft buns and real emotion.
The new artsy indie game uses blindness to explore you sick fucks and real emotion.
The new artsy indie game uses a ripcord to explore a grave error and real emotion.
The new artsy indie game uses smooth bastard to explore the Dutch oven and real emotion.
The new artsy indie game uses inquisitive middle schoolers to explore adults eating teenagers alive and real emotion.

 
 
2016 Oct 18 at 04:52 PDT — Ed. 2016 Oct 18 at 04:58 PDT