SuperJer Against Humanity Suggestions PART 2

SuperJer Against Humanity Suggestions PART 2

General — Page 1 2 3 ... 37 38 39 [40] 41 42 43 ... 105 106 107
aaronjer
*****'n Admin

Comrade General 5-Star
2005 Mar 21 • 4599
1,227 ₧
Whoopi Goldberg's last breath n

If you have a dream about Whoopi Goldberg's last breath, it meas you’re worried about mutual benefit.
I had a really good childhood up until I was nine, then Whoopi Goldberg's last breath really affected me.
Working on my car I found Whoopi Goldberg's last breath had crawled inside the engine block and died.
The water tower looks like it’s Whoopi Goldberg's last breath from this angle.
I heard you can rent a friend in Tokyo, but only if one of you is Whoopi Goldberg's last breath.
There is no “I” in “team” but there is an “I” in “Whoopi Goldberg's last breath”.

 
 
2016 Oct 22 at 20:39 PDT
aaronjer
*****'n Admin

Comrade General 5-Star
2005 Mar 21 • 4599
1,227 ₧
consuming the flesh of a Dutch child v

Consuming the flesh of a Dutch child brings hella teen angst to a child’s face.
Don’t shake hot water so hard, it’ll start consuming the flesh of a Dutch child.
Howdy neighbor, love an enchanted ring! Let’s get consuming the flesh of a Dutch child sometime!
I can’t believe you guys went consuming the flesh of a Dutch child without me! Loop me in next time, I want Yakety Sax too!
Our artisanal process ages the Handsome Boy Modeling School for 3 years, before going right into a piece of cake, rapidly consuming the flesh of a Dutch child.
Military scientists in Syria found traces of consuming the flesh of a Dutch child in the soil.

 
 
2016 Oct 23 at 06:52 PDT
aaronjer
*****'n Admin

Comrade General 5-Star
2005 Mar 21 • 4599
1,227 ₧
the Lindbergh baby n

Your attempt to get little Susie what’s-her-name drunk on lime vodka ended with the Lindbergh baby.
The refugees must be relocated because the shelter is right on top of the Lindbergh baby.
Ever since the accident, I freeze in terror at the sight of the Lindbergh baby.
Don’t shake the Lindbergh baby so hard, it’ll start a rip.
I dug around for hours in the trash but never found the Lindbergh baby.
We need more black cards! Maybe another one about a real value, but with the Lindbergh baby!

 
 
2016 Oct 23 at 06:54 PDT
aaronjer
*****'n Admin

Comrade General 5-Star
2005 Mar 21 • 4599
1,227 ₧
a miscarriage n

Early rugby’s rules: carry the ball as a miscarriage, score points by getting groped by a senator, and a gush shall not be on the field.
This is my second kid. My first one came out as a miscarriage.
Strangely, right before Hitler killed himself, he had a miscarriage destroyed and furries killed as well.
The police failed to catch the fleeing suspect because of a miscarriage.
I pushed hard enough to snap a miscarriage, but some powerful kind of leftover McDonald’s® was blocking the door.
Is there a free outlet? I need to plug in and charge a miscarriage.

 
 
2016 Oct 23 at 06:55 PDT
aaronjer
*****'n Admin

Comrade General 5-Star
2005 Mar 21 • 4599
1,227 ₧
my black son n

At the new circus in town, three jugglers throw each other my black son, while a man is knowing hell on a galloping horse.
During my driving test, I backed my car into my black son. I still got an 85!
Driving late at night, I was horrified to find my black son in the back seat.
I’m undergoing immersion therapy by continually exposing myself to my black son.
Science never solves a problem without creating my black son.
At least I was trying to cheer people up when I took my black son to the funeral.

 
 
2016 Oct 23 at 06:57 PDT — Ed. 2016 Oct 23 at 06:57 PDT
aaronjer
*****'n Admin

Comrade General 5-Star
2005 Mar 21 • 4599
1,227 ₧
my crazy hot daughter n

The city put in new road signs to indicate my crazy hot daughter just up ahead.
Honey, you can’t keep putting my crazy hot daughter down the garbage disposal!
At my 9th birthday, we had my crazy hot daughter piñata that burst open showering big pants on us kids.
The area around Fukushima has become a ghost town with my crazy hot daughter slowly overtaking the buildings.
I surreptitiously crawled into bed, only to find my crazy hot daughter.
This ship’s gonna sink unless we throw my crazy hot daughter overboard!

 
 
2016 Oct 23 at 06:59 PDT — Ed. 2016 Oct 23 at 07:00 PDT
aaronjer
*****'n Admin

Comrade General 5-Star
2005 Mar 21 • 4599
1,227 ₧
his holiness the pope n

Thank you ladies and gentlemen! For my next performance art piece, I will be his holiness the pope.
I booby-trapped my yard so that trespassers will be surprised by his holiness the pope.
What the inhabitants department lacks in selection, we make up for in his holiness the pope.
Jan Sobieski, leading the largest charge of embers in history, rode into battle atop his holiness the pope.
My teacher graded my paper F because I wrote about his holiness the pope.
Dad! I’m all done startling a tweaker, so I have his holiness the pope left over if you’re still interested.

 
 
2016 Oct 23 at 07:02 PDT — Ed. 2016 Oct 23 at 07:03 PDT
aaronjer
*****'n Admin

Comrade General 5-Star
2005 Mar 21 • 4599
1,227 ₧
Jesus Christ n

This is my second kid. My first one came out as Jesus Christ.
The new Ford F-750 with more torque than Jesus Christ.
You’ve got to come see the baby, it’s as cute as Jesus Christ.
Last night I dreamed of Jesus Christ. I cannot shake the feeling that curious bisexuals will arrive soon.
Today’s baseball game was called off when an irate fan threw Jesus Christ at a player from the stands.
Jesus Christ failed and we careened down the embankment directly toward man animals.

 
 
2016 Oct 23 at 07:05 PDT
aaronjer
*****'n Admin

Comrade General 5-Star
2005 Mar 21 • 4599
1,227 ₧
baby Jesus n

This ship’s gonna sink unless we throw baby Jesus overboard!
The two biggest floats at the Macy’s Parade this year are baby Jesus and an all-female gang called the Lizzies.
A woman is like a teabag. You can’t tell how strong she is until you put her in baby Jesus.
Holy dogshit, Texas! Only baby Jesus and an automated turret come from Texas, Private Cowboy!
On the assembly line we heat baby Jesus to a steaming, bright cherry red. And this next machine over here is wandering around.
The rich aroma of baby Jesus, from the hills of Colombia.

 
 
2016 Oct 23 at 07:06 PDT — Ed. 2016 Oct 23 at 07:06 PDT
aaronjer
*****'n Admin

Comrade General 5-Star
2005 Mar 21 • 4599
1,227 ₧
my dirty little secret n

Always makes me hungry when I see the butcher shop with my dirty little secret hanging in the window.
I pushed hard enough to snap my dirty little secret, but some powerful kind of undercooked meat was blocking the door.
I met this hot chick online. She says she’s my dirty little secret and I think I believe her!
Great job on the proposal for doing things for attention, Dave! You're in line for a raise, and the boss might even give you my dirty little secret.
For my last meal I want a sex swing seasoned heavily with my dirty little secret.
If you kids don’t stop crashing out of a window, I will turn my dirty little secret around!

 
 
2016 Oct 23 at 07:08 PDT — Ed. 2016 Oct 23 at 07:10 PDT
aaronjer
*****'n Admin

Comrade General 5-Star
2005 Mar 21 • 4599
1,227 ₧
Mom, what's  ? The kids at school say it about you and laugh.

Mom, what's terminal illness? The kids at school say it about you and laugh.
Mom, what's finding out my first husband was still alive? The kids at school say it about you and laugh.
Mom, what's backwash? The kids at school say it about you and laugh.
Mom, what's ionizing radiation? The kids at school say it about you and laugh.
Mom, what's divorce papers? The kids at school say it about you and laugh.
Mom, what's a fresh lung? The kids at school say it about you and laugh.

 
 
2016 Oct 23 at 07:14 PDT — Ed. 2016 Oct 23 at 07:18 PDT
aaronjer
*****'n Admin

Comrade General 5-Star
2005 Mar 21 • 4599
1,227 ₧
I'm gonna prove the link between   and  ! You'll all see!2

I'm gonna prove the link between the Handsome Boy Modeling School and election year politics! You'll all see!
I'm gonna prove the link between techniques and panicking in a Subaru! You'll all see!
I'm gonna prove the link between fictitious queer same sex transformation and all sorts of shit! You'll all see!
I'm gonna prove the link between a demonic religious lie and a surgical rotary saw! You'll all see!
I'm gonna prove the link between urine sprinkles and an old, Asian martial arts master! You'll all see!
I'm gonna prove the link between a crowd of revelers and a conflict of interest! You'll all see!

 
 
2016 Oct 23 at 07:20 PDT — Ed. 2016 Oct 23 at 07:22 PDT
Nezumi
Asshole Admin

1-Up Medal
2005 Mar 26 • 553
175 ₧
having a five-way with quadruplets v

Then God said, “Let there be having a five-way with quadruplets”; and there was having a five-way with quadruplets. And God saw that having a five-way with quadruplets was good.
The 13 colonies were founded on the principles of liberty, brotherhood, and having a five-way with quadruplets.
The new self-help fad: Better Living Through Having a Five-way with Quadruplets!
But I promised my kids they could get having a five-way with quadruplets for Christmas!
A lifetime of having a five-way with quadruplets awaits. Call now for a free consultation.
I’m late to my meeting for having a five-way with quadruplets.

 
 
2016 Oct 23 at 09:02 PDT
Nezumi
Asshole Admin

1-Up Medal
2005 Mar 26 • 553
175 ₧
some dork n

CAUTION: Keep some dork out of hopper and chute opening. Failure to comply risks personal injury.
I dug around for hours in the trash but never found some dork.
The Chinese government has blocked all websites related to some dork.
I didn’t think this house would sell with mildew, mold, and traces of fungal spores in the attic. Anyway, I’m some dork.
The new hit reality show: Can You Swallow Some Dork?
You stole vacuous remarks from a charity? That’s like taking candy from a baby! You’re some dork and you’re going to hell!



this lady I used to know n

Always makes me hungry when I see the butcher shop with this lady I used to know hanging in the window.
The hardware store didn’t have this lady I used to know left, so I got a carefully contained fart.
The area around Fukushima has become a ghost town with this lady I used to know slowly overtaking the buildings.
Chase bank is giving out this lady I used to know this week if you open an account and put $100 in it.
Let’s wait for gut-wrenching testimony to fall asleep, then we can sneak out and get this lady I used to know.
My sisters were having a pillow fight. They didn’t know I had put this lady I used to know in the pillows.

 
 
2016 Oct 23 at 17:08 PDT — Ed. 2016 Oct 23 at 17:10 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5903
my skin template nc

Nancy Drew and the Mystery of My Skin Template.
The new bill before congress would mandate my skin template in all K-through-12 classrooms.
Early rugby’s rules: carry the ball as the basement, score points by knowing what to do, and my skin template shall not be on the field.
The cineplex has been using my skin template in the popcorn machine because it’s cheaper than oil.
At the new Asian-inspired restaurant downtown, the chef will prepare my skin template right at your table.
For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my skin template. It was not my lips you kissed, but a good soak.

 
 
2016 Oct 24 at 14:45 PDT
RealAccount
2015 Aug 30 • 12
glitter demons np

The cineplex has been using glitter demons in the popcorn machine because it’s cheaper than oil.
The three techniques of Sumo Wrestling: Multiple cameras, a hanging body and glitter demons.
When I told my father he shouted, “No daughter of mine is going out with glitter demons!”
Wine tasters describe this Pinot Grigio as having silky hints of glitter demons and a mouthfeel like an enormous cushion.
I came with glitter demons to school to show my friends, but stupid Billy Carter brought a do-gooder so nobody even noticed!
Help! I’m glitter demons and I need YOU to do something about it!

 
 
2016 Oct 24 at 20:09 PDT
RealAccount
2015 Aug 30 • 12
I don't need love because I'm  . Sorry mom!

I don't need love because I'm body shaming. Sorry mom!
I don't need love because I'm becoming an adult. Sorry mom!
I don't need love because I'm my love of children. Sorry mom!
I don't need love because I'm a squirming pile of Japanese robot sex dolls. Sorry mom!
I don't need love because I'm having a zero-value existence. Sorry mom!
I don't need love because I'm horror movie gore. Sorry mom!

 
 
2016 Oct 24 at 20:11 PDT — Ed. 2016 Oct 24 at 20:13 PDT
aaronjer
*****'n Admin

Comrade General 5-Star
2005 Mar 21 • 4599
1,227 ₧
an old Dutch cheese press n

Kirkland mom makes $20,000 a week with an old Dutch cheese press.
An old Dutch cheese press is the only way to say goodbye.
It’s important to pack the essentials when camping, such as water, first aid, going solo, toilet paper, shelter, and an old Dutch cheese press.
McDonald’s combo menu #3: Double Quarter Pounder with Cheese, a large Coke, and a side of an old Dutch cheese press.
If my neighbor doesn’t get an old Dutch cheese press off my property, I’m calling the cops!
My pharmacist separated control of the English Channel into two piles, and carefully lowered one into an old Dutch cheese press.

 
 
2016 Oct 24 at 21:13 PDT — Ed. 2016 Oct 24 at 21:15 PDT
aaronjer
*****'n Admin

Comrade General 5-Star
2005 Mar 21 • 4599
1,227 ₧
milking it v

You’ve got to come see the baby, it’s as cute as milking it.
Pool rules: No running. No milking it. Keep a state trooper out of the deep end.
Our mystical secret society is dedicated to elucidating the mysteries of two bats in a giant pair of pajamas milking it.
I tried a girl gone sour but it was too tight. Then I tried milking it but it was TOO LOOSE.
In my wild days I was milking it, among other crimes. They finally caught me doing it with the bowel fairy on the New Mexico border.
The 7 deadly sins: lust, gluttony, milking it, sloth, wrath, hiding with your warriors, and pride.

 
 
2016 Oct 24 at 21:15 PDT — Ed. 2016 Oct 24 at 21:18 PDT
aaronjer
*****'n Admin

Comrade General 5-Star
2005 Mar 21 • 4599
1,227 ₧
keeping my girlfriend happy v

A weird glitch in the Oculus Rift demo caused me to experience keeping my girlfriend happy like I was really there.
My father abandoned my mother and I because he was keeping my girlfriend happy.
Keeping my girlfriend happy! Keeping my girlfriend happy! My kingdom for keeping my girlfriend happy!
Keeping my girlfriend happy isn’t getting old, but I sure am!
Hark! What keeping my girlfriend happy through yonder window breaks?
Ich bin ein keeping my girlfriend happy.

 
 
2016 Oct 24 at 21:20 PDT
aaronjer
*****'n Admin

Comrade General 5-Star
2005 Mar 21 • 4599
1,227 ₧
a shrieking tarantula n

Sir, you have a phone call. Something about a shrieking tarantula?
My sisters were having a pillow fight. They didn’t know I had put a shrieking tarantula in the pillows.
Getting a shrieking tarantula back out of a volcano is next to impossible.
A weird glitch in the Oculus Rift demo caused me to experience a shrieking tarantula like I was really there.
My car looks like it’s a shrieking tarantula but I don’t mind. It gets me from point A to point B.
My house. 8 o’clock. A shrieking tarantula.

 
 
2016 Oct 24 at 21:21 PDT — Ed. 2016 Oct 24 at 21:22 PDT
aaronjer
*****'n Admin

Comrade General 5-Star
2005 Mar 21 • 4599
1,227 ₧
red hot lava nc

Trapped again, MacGyver began his escape with only vile doings and red hot lava.
During routine surgery, the doctors found red hot lava embedded in my abdomen.
At the carnival I went on the thing where you ride red hot lava. It made me feel like I was wearing a noose to be edgy.
Daddy! There’s red hot lava under my bed. Kill it kill it!
I reached expectantly into red hot lava, but found only my hood.
Abraham Lincoln wrestled with depression, but that did not keep him from being attacked by a skeleton with red hot lava.

 
 
2016 Oct 24 at 21:23 PDT — Ed. 2016 Oct 24 at 21:27 PDT
aaronjer
*****'n Admin

Comrade General 5-Star
2005 Mar 21 • 4599
1,227 ₧
bearing so much fruit v

The survey team detected bearing so much fruit at the work site so I threw your lifestyle in my truck and drove straight there.
Dear diary, today I went into the city and saw bearing so much fruit for the first time!
Come on down to Golden Corral™ for bearing so much fruit.
Let evil thinking host your next party, providing bearing so much fruit like you’ve never seen before.
Life without love is like bearing so much fruit without a riding crop or fruit.
Your attempt to get little Susie what’s-her-name drunk on lime vodka ended with bearing so much fruit.

 
 
2016 Oct 24 at 21:28 PDT — Ed. 2016 Oct 24 at 21:30 PDT
aaronjer
*****'n Admin

Comrade General 5-Star
2005 Mar 21 • 4599
1,227 ₧
paddling little butts v

Since I deserve it, I am going to reward myself with paddling little butts.
Life is so strange. I went to college to learn paddling little butts, but now for work I’m your idiot ideas. Go figure!
The band hadn’t started playing when the stage effect with insurance went off early, ejecting paddling little butts into the air!
Growing up we never had a watchful guard, but we had to deal with paddling little butts, and I want the opposite for my children.
See now black people walk like a secret room. But white people -- white people walk like they’re paddling little butts!
At my workplace, robots have replaced the humans for paddling little butts and wiring money to far off lands at the assembly line.

 
 
2016 Oct 24 at 21:31 PDT — Ed. 2016 Oct 24 at 21:32 PDT
aaronjer
*****'n Admin

Comrade General 5-Star
2005 Mar 21 • 4599
1,227 ₧
putting the kids to bed v

Growing up we never had somersaults, but we had to deal with putting the kids to bed, and I want the opposite for my children.
The cruiseliner struck a bullet hole and lost power, leaving hundreds of vacationers to deal with putting the kids to bed.
It has been prophesied that the young king will eventually be killed by putting the kids to bed.
This year’s hottest new fashion is putting the kids to bed on your head.
Nancy Drew and the Mystery of Putting the Kids to Bed.
After last week’s stunning victory, the wrestler earned his nickname “Putting the Kids to Bed

 
 
2016 Oct 24 at 21:33 PDT — Ed. 2016 Oct 24 at 21:35 PDT