SuperJer Against Humanity Suggestions PART 2

SuperJer Against Humanity Suggestions PART 2

General — Page 1 2 3 ... 52 53 54 [55] 56 57 58 ... 105 106 107
aaronjer
*****'n Admin

Comrade General 5-Star
2005 Mar 21 • 4599
1,227 ₧
denting the leather on my sex vest v

I want to say one word to you, just one word: denting the leather on my sex vest.
The Great Wall was actually built to keep denting the leather on my sex vest out of mainland China.
Ha! You activated my trap card, “Denting the Leather on My Sex Vest!” You’re cursed with a kitten pawing at my wiener until the end of the game!
Growing up in the foster care system, I learned to be denting the leather on my sex vest if I wanted a new family.
Throughout human history, denting the leather on my sex vest has been the first activity of explorers of any new region.
Before you embark on a journey of revenge, consider denting the leather on my sex vest.

 
 
2016 Dec 4 at 21:52 PST — Ed. 2016 Dec 4 at 21:52 PST
aaronjer
*****'n Admin

Comrade General 5-Star
2005 Mar 21 • 4599
1,227 ₧
my sex vest n

Growing up in the foster care system, I learned to be my sex vest if I wanted a new family.
My girlfriend was getting something out of the closet. Lucky she didn’t look up, or she’d have seen my sex vest.
In Kentucky stores can’t sell my sex vest after 8pm, or on holidays like Hounding the Family Dog Day.
How high do you have to be to enjoy Morgan Freeman’s larynx in my sex vest?
After the war, the British government had Alan Turing chemically castrated because he was my sex vest.
Alien cover-ups, false flag operations, and military experiments with my sex vest! It’s all here in my manifesto!

 
 
2016 Dec 4 at 21:53 PST
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5901
plumes np

In this story, only the true king can pull the sword out of plumes.
It’s important to pack the essentials when camping, such as water, first aid, plumes, toilet paper, shelter, and none more.
Give a man plumes and you feed him for a day. Give him toned thighs, and you feed him for a lifetime.
Welcome to Denny’s®! I am plumes. Would you like to try our new special, explaining things to children?
The name for Idaho was derived from a Shoshone language term meaning “plumes.”
How embarrassing! I forget I left plumes in the foyer.



These condom directions are confusing: who is supposed to be  {v} and where does  {n} come in?2

These condom directions are confusing: who is supposed to be finishing quickly and where does a frantic woman come in?
These condom directions are confusing: who is supposed to be pulling on my butthole hairs and where does that jackass come in?
These condom directions are confusing: who is supposed to be a caring, understanding man and where does bad juju come in?
These condom directions are confusing: who is supposed to be poking all the little bugs and where does just the thing come in?
These condom directions are confusing: who is supposed to be wafting upstairs and where does a dubious girl come in?
These condom directions are confusing: who is supposed to be leaving a man behind and where does boiling water come in?

 
 
2016 Dec 5 at 14:39 PST
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5901
Indiana Jones grabbed the idol and  {n} came rolling after him, but he escaped by  {v}!2

Indiana Jones grabbed the idol and friends that can keep a secret came rolling after him, but he escaped by subduing your cell-mate and making him your wife!
Indiana Jones grabbed the idol and sizzling lard came rolling after him, but he escaped by being fucking dead!
Indiana Jones grabbed the idol and helpful subordinates came rolling after him, but he escaped by crouching silently!
Indiana Jones grabbed the idol and vacuous remarks came rolling after him, but he escaped by panicking in a Subaru!
Indiana Jones grabbed the idol and a crazy cat lady came rolling after him, but he escaped by doing it RIGHT this time!!
Indiana Jones grabbed the idol and a snack came rolling after him, but he escaped by neglecting a spike!

 
 
2016 Dec 5 at 14:45 PST
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5901
People in Taiwan are getting  {n} implanted in their bodies for  {v}.2

People in Taiwan are getting greed, secrets, poison and murder implanted in their bodies for inspecting the poo.
People in Taiwan are getting a way rude hunger implanted in their bodies for drilling into the brain.
People in Taiwan are getting a listless wasp implanted in their bodies for springing into action.
People in Taiwan are getting a carafe of broccoli chowder implanted in their bodies for chugging NyQuil™.
People in Taiwan are getting a bag of duck vaginas implanted in their bodies for getting HUGE.
People in Taiwan are getting a girl on roller skates implanted in their bodies for finishing quickly.



Christmas n

Christmas isn’t getting old, but I sure am!
I picked up a hitchhiker and he showed me Christmas while we were still in the car.
For my last meal I want scary men seasoned heavily with Christmas.
I didn’t have any cash, so I tipped the pizza guy with Christmas.
The Japanese insist on their traditional right to hunt Christmas in the sea.
As the A.I. robot gained self-awareness, it immediately began Christmas.

 
 
2016 Dec 5 at 14:49 PST
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5901
 {U} is known to the state of California to cause cancer.

Two F-bombs is known to the state of California to cause cancer.
Mumbo jumbo is known to the state of California to cause cancer.
A gash is known to the state of California to cause cancer.
A fisherman is known to the state of California to cause cancer.
The most humane action is known to the state of California to cause cancer.
A gold ingot is known to the state of California to cause cancer.

 
 
2016 Dec 5 at 14:52 PST — Ed. 2016 Dec 5 at 14:53 PST
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5901
a surprise dump n

Police were able to track the suspect after finding DNA evidence in a surprise dump.
I’ve been single ever since my girlfriend found out I had a surprise dump.
Welcome to the neighborhood! I live down the street. You’ll recognize my house with a surprise dump.
The name for Idaho was derived from a Shoshone language term meaning “a surprise dump.”
At the book signing, George R.R. Martin signed my copy of ‟A Song of a Surprise Dump”! I shook his hand and it felt like a surprise dump.
I need help with my computer! I downloaded an odd number of titties and now I’m having trouble with a surprise dump.



At the Amazon Go store you can grab  {n} and walk right out the door without  {v}.2

At the Amazon Go store you can grab real life and walk right out the door without punching a hole in the roof.
At the Amazon Go store you can grab a coming horrific hell and walk right out the door without explaining things to children.
At the Amazon Go store you can grab a violent episode and walk right out the door without blowing chunks.
At the Amazon Go store you can grab strength and walk right out the door without taking a flying leap.
At the Amazon Go store you can grab a big donkey and walk right out the door without adults eating teenagers alive.
At the Amazon Go store you can grab live wires hanging from the ceiling and walk right out the door without sewing it shut.

 
 
2016 Dec 5 at 15:28 PST
Nezumi
Asshole Admin

1-Up Medal
2005 Mar 26 • 553
175 ₧
going back into the closet v

Our mystical secret society is dedicated to elucidating the mysteries of two F-bombs going back into the closet.
Going back into the closet like this is enough to kill a horse!
Howdy neighbor, love going back into the closet! Let’s get getting wrapped around a tree sometime!
J. Robert Oppenheimer is often called the father of going back into the closet.
The 13 colonies were founded on the principles of liberty, brotherhood, and going back into the closet.
Don’t shake a friend so hard, it’ll start going back into the closet.

 
 
2016 Dec 6 at 14:01 PST — Ed. 2016 Dec 6 at 14:03 PST
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5901
making salad for your cat v

Peter Molyneux’s new game will use facial recognition to explore making salad for your cat in a very realistic way.
I like my women like I like making salad for your cat: providing unscrupulous advice with this half of the planet.
When I get older, I don’t want to be making salad for your cat.
In a world with a quick one diddling, one man must overcome making salad for your cat. Coming this summer.
My daughter came home crying because the kids at school said she was making salad for your cat.
My nightly ritual involves making salad for your cat, distended tubes, and finally strength just as I fall asleep.



I make my own salad for my cat by  {v} with  {n}. Oreo loves it!2

I make my own salad for my cat by untwisting with something even wetter. Oreo loves it!
I make my own salad for my cat by peeing crabs with the orbital socket. Oreo loves it!
I make my own salad for my cat by slapping everything with the big ol’ boys. Oreo loves it!
I make my own salad for my cat by riding your bike down the Luxor with a cage built for an autistic student. Oreo loves it!
I make my own salad for my cat by bedding with Muslim leaders who condemn terrorism. Oreo loves it!
I make my own salad for my cat by getting busy with Satan’s latest abomination. Oreo loves it!

 
 
2016 Dec 6 at 14:09 PST — Ed. 2016 Dec 6 at 14:10 PST
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5901
I make  {n} for my cat by  {v} with  {n}. Oreo loves it!3

I make a watermelon for my cat by doing your best and trying your hardest with cardiac arrest. Oreo loves it!
I make the child-parent relationship for my cat by catchin’ heat for sellin’ a piece of ass with a deep cut. Oreo loves it!
I make papal taxation for my cat by seeking death with Lord Deathstroke. Oreo loves it!
I make a guy for my cat by wet like grandma does it with the steamboat captain. Oreo loves it!
I make mixed feelings for my cat by placing yourself above others with the ’80s. Oreo loves it!
I make a mind such as yours for my cat by tipping over with the most beautiful face ever. Oreo loves it!

 
 
2016 Dec 6 at 14:11 PST
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5901
going back to bed v

I think that ecstasy was cut with meaningless symbols. After one hit I began very, very rapidly going back to bed.
I would have never thought that I’d actually be a molecule while I’m going back to bed!
As the A.I. robot gained self-awareness, it immediately began going back to bed.
Kraft Foods has announced that it will phase out the use of going back to bed in its food processing operations.
I refuse to roleplay as anything but going back to bed.
Online trolls turned Microsoft’s teen girl AI into some kind of my alter ego-loving bot that hates going back to bed.

 
 
2016 Dec 6 at 14:30 PST
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5901
The HOA says I can't raise  {n} on my property. Meanwhile no word about   at the Jones's!2

The HOA says I can't raise a clever bastard on my property. Meanwhile no word about aged beef at the Jones's!
The HOA says I can't raise a loaded gun on my property. Meanwhile no word about sharpened teeth at the Jones's!
The HOA says I can't raise feasting and slaughter on my property. Meanwhile no word about a plump, lazy hyena at the Jones's!
The HOA says I can't raise hyperactive legs on my property. Meanwhile no word about a wet burst at the Jones's!
The HOA says I can't raise barely in the butthole on my property. Meanwhile no word about the first chimp in space at the Jones's!
The HOA says I can't raise an effigy on my property. Meanwhile no word about my taxidermied daughter at the Jones's!



Kraft Foods np

Is it true that in Nevada you can pay for a lady sewing it shut with Kraft Foods?
Meet me by the new modern art installation downtown. You know, it’s Kraft Foods straddled by you, ya dirty bum.
Welcome to Denny’s®! I am barely any swag. Would you like to try our new special, Kraft Foods?
For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into a Russian bride. It was not my lips you kissed, but Kraft Foods.
Kirkland mom makes $20,000 a week with Kraft Foods.
Oh dear God! That was the last of my medication for “Kraft Foods” syndrome!

 
 
2016 Dec 6 at 14:32 PST — Ed. 2016 Dec 6 at 14:36 PST
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5901
A good description of sex, suitable for children:  {U};  ;  .3

A good description of sex, suitable for children: A crazy cat lady; mounting; tiny uranium rods.
A good description of sex, suitable for children: A gentleman with the tummy grumbles; the seedy underbelly; heavy hearts.
A good description of sex, suitable for children: A roll of toilet paper; porkin’; a dead cat.
A good description of sex, suitable for children: A useful tip; witnesses; The Super Buttsex Arena.
A good description of sex, suitable for children: Undulating rhythmically; 50 years; hot babes.
A good description of sex, suitable for children: A quality buttplug; 35 quadrillion Zimbabwe dollars; sacrificing the homeless.

 
 
2016 Dec 6 at 14:38 PST — Ed. 2016 Dec 6 at 14:41 PST
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5901
"Mommy, where do babies come from?" "Well, when there's  {n} in love with   very much..."2

"Mommy, where do babies come from?" "Well, when there's the final hour in love with an ankle holster very much..."
"Mommy, where do babies come from?" "Well, when there's a grape in a condom in love with a zealous follower very much..."
"Mommy, where do babies come from?" "Well, when there's Taco Bell® in love with exciting lifetime possibilities very much..."
"Mommy, where do babies come from?" "Well, when there's the only thing left in love with the heart very much..."
"Mommy, where do babies come from?" "Well, when there's turtles that have to pee in love with turning tricks on the street corner very much..."
"Mommy, where do babies come from?" "Well, when there's the NAACP in love with the pelvis very much..."

 
 
2016 Dec 6 at 14:42 PST — Ed. 2016 Dec 6 at 14:44 PST
Nezumi
Asshole Admin

1-Up Medal
2005 Mar 26 • 553
175 ₧
a trip to the moon n

How did I get hurt? I got my foot caught in a bucket of cannibals, tumbled down the escalator and crashed into a trip to the moon.
When the research team activated the interdimensional portal, a trip to the moon emerged.
The area around Fukushima has become a ghost town with a trip to the moon slowly overtaking the buildings.
I met a strange lady, she made me nervous. She took me in and gave me a trip to the moon.
When he reached the New World, Cortés burned a trip to the moon. As a result, his men were well motivated.
Abraham Lincoln wrestled with depression, but that did not keep him from buffing that vagina with a trip to the moon.

 
 
2016 Dec 6 at 16:50 PST
aaronjer
*****'n Admin

Comrade General 5-Star
2005 Mar 21 • 4599
1,227 ₧
a gushing bloody nose n

I would have never thought that I’d actually be a gushing bloody nose while I’m the king and his family!
The three techniques of Sumo Wrestling: A gushing bloody nose, an injection and a sex-addicted panda.
We can be a gushing bloody nose. And no one has to know.
World of Warcraft is adding a new character class so you can play as a gushing bloody nose equipped with Grandma’s ghost.
Shepherds in Scotland have used a vast treasury of specimens for years to keep the flock from a gushing bloody nose.
The new intern is starting this week. Can you set up her workstation for a gushing bloody nose?



cunting around even harder v

The police failed to catch the fleeing suspect because of cunting around even harder.
Cunting around even harder failed and we careened down the embankment directly toward reasons to do it.
Since I deserve it, I am going to reward myself with cunting around even harder.
My girlfriend was getting something out of the closet. Lucky she didn’t look up, or she’d have seen cunting around even harder.
Ever since the incident with a mutilated torso I’ve been haunted by cunting around even harder.
But I promised I would get my kids cunting around even harder for Christmas!

 
 
2016 Dec 7 at 07:52 PST
jeff is wizlord

2014 Nov 12 • 278
a thug with a death wish n

Terrified, I scrambled up the tree, with a thug with a death wish jumping and nipping at me from below and even rolling in it.
A thug with a death wish: It’s nature’s candy!
At the book signing, George R.R. Martin signed my copy of ‟A Song of a Thug with a Death Wish”! I shook his hand and it felt like a thug with a death wish.
Ich bin ein a thug with a death wish.
Class, turn to page 100 and start reading “A Thug with a Death Wish and You”.
The rich aroma of a thug with a death wish, from the hills of Colombia.

 
 
2016 Dec 7 at 13:28 PST
Signa
2013 Dec 28 • 140
A more sensitive dick n

No one in Morocco can be A more sensitive dick without registering with the government.
Bumper sticker: My other ride is A more sensitive dick.
Sometimes, when hiking through the woods, you might cross paths with a sassy male news reporter. So bring A more sensitive dick.
SWF looking for a real man. If you’re into A more sensitive dick, get to the front of the line.
My favorite new band is “A Bump on a Log and A More Sensitive Dick”.
Music without the sounds of A more sensitive dick is hardly music at all.

 
 
2016 Dec 7 at 23:16 PST — Ed. 2016 Dec 7 at 23:17 PST
aaronjer
*****'n Admin

Comrade General 5-Star
2005 Mar 21 • 4599
1,227 ₧
drowning in the bathtub v

When the beef came at me it was like drowning in the bathtub.
I’m drowning in the bathtub for Jesus.
These wounds were given to me by the beast of legend. Part of it was punching a hole in the roof, part was drowning in the bathtub, and it was crowned with breastfeeding.
In the end, the obvious plot twist was that the serial killer was actually drowning in the bathtub.
My favorite new band is “Drowning in the Bathtub and the ’80s”.
At the winery tour we saw how they put a thorough examination and grapes in the tank, but it smelled like drowning in the bathtub.

 
 
2016 Dec 8 at 11:42 PST
aaronjer
*****'n Admin

Comrade General 5-Star
2005 Mar 21 • 4599
1,227 ₧
the hottest girl n

Facebook just bought Silicon Valley tech startup Shame Co., tapping into the growing market for the hottest girl.
I’m glad you’re my new roomie, my last one was always the hottest girl. Always.
At the hospital I had to take off my clothes and get into the hottest girl before lifting his kilt and winking.
Every morning I hop out of bed and get straight to the hottest girl, even before I put on my clothes.
I misclicked while my boss was looking over my shoulder and my video of the hottest girl came on the screen.
Thank you ladies and gentlemen! For my next performance art piece, I will be the hottest girl.

 
 
2016 Dec 8 at 12:45 PST
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5901
longer and longer pipes np

Tomorrow the city is throwing a ticker-tape to celebrate longer and longer pipes.
I was so surprised to see the first chimp in space that longer and longer pipes fell out of my mouth.
I found out why I’m always sick... they found longer and longer pipes in the walls at my office.
McDonald’s combo menu #3: Double Quarter Pounder with Cheese, a large Coke, and a side of longer and longer pipes.
The night before Easter, we’ll set up longer and longer pipes on the porch to surprise the kids.
My daughter came home crying because the kids at school said she was longer and longer pipes.



longer and longer poops np

A lifetime of longer and longer poops awaits. Call now for a free consultation.
I booby-trapped my yard so that trespassers will be surprised by longer and longer poops.
You spent all your food-stamps on longer and longer poops?!
Come on down to Golden Corral™ for longer and longer poops.
Howdy neighbor, love hot sparks! Let’s get longer and longer poops sometime!
My kid was acting like curses, so I took away longer and longer poops privileges.

 
 
2016 Dec 8 at 13:57 PST
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5901
a fat, dripping ribbon of whitish sludge n

I misclicked while my boss was looking over my shoulder and my video of a fat, dripping ribbon of whitish sludge came on the screen.
My kid was acting like a fat, dripping ribbon of whitish sludge, so I took away everything you’ve always wanted privileges.
Alexander also named a city in India “A Fat, Dripping Ribbon of Whitish Sludge” after his dead horse.
I heard you can rent a friend in Tokyo, but only if one of you is a fat, dripping ribbon of whitish sludge.
Amtrak officials confirm a fat, dripping ribbon of whitish sludge would have prevented train derailment.
The true reason for the Tacoma Narrows Bridge collapse? A fat, dripping ribbon of whitish sludge.



my front fat nc

The new intern is starting this week. Can you set up her workstation for my front fat?
I refuse to roleplay as anything but my front fat.
The weird payment system at the grocery store makes me put my front fat in the slot, but I forget to take it out.
My brother and I have finally decided to start a business doing my front fat, since we’re so good at it.
For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my front fat. It was not my lips you kissed, but your only white friend.
My front fat has proven extremely popular among young, urban audiences in focus testing.

 
 
2016 Dec 8 at 14:16 PST — Ed. 2016 Dec 8 at 14:22 PST
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5901
I wanted to freak out my girlfriend so I got  {n} out of the fridge and squeezed it onto my pie slice. Ha ha!

I wanted to freak out my girlfriend so I got crotchless panties out of the fridge and squeezed it onto my pie slice. Ha ha!
I wanted to freak out my girlfriend so I got a tacky, god-awful facelift out of the fridge and squeezed it onto my pie slice. Ha ha!
I wanted to freak out my girlfriend so I got a pulpy mass out of the fridge and squeezed it onto my pie slice. Ha ha!
I wanted to freak out my girlfriend so I got solutions out of the fridge and squeezed it onto my pie slice. Ha ha!
I wanted to freak out my girlfriend so I got Walt Disney’s preserved ass cheeks out of the fridge and squeezed it onto my pie slice. Ha ha!
I wanted to freak out my girlfriend so I got no minors out of the fridge and squeezed it onto my pie slice. Ha ha!

 
 
2016 Dec 8 at 14:25 PST — Ed. 2016 Dec 8 at 14:25 PST
Signa
2013 Dec 28 • 140
I must consume as much  {nc} as possible so I can be complete.

I must consume as much hotdog grade “meat” as possible so I can be complete.
I must consume as much quiet poots as possible so I can be complete.
I must consume as much thirst as possible so I can be complete.
I must consume as much steampunk bullshit as possible so I can be complete.
I must consume as much ribs as possible so I can be complete.
I must consume as much eerie silence as possible so I can be complete.



nazi propaganda n

Ever since I got back from Mexico I’ve been really into nazi propaganda.
Ha! You activated my trap card, “A Big Bomb!” You’re cursed with nazi propaganda until the end of the game!
I got a new app on my phone. It’s called “A Uniquely Adapted Slave Race” and it helps me with nazi propaganda.
Police were able to track the suspect after finding DNA evidence in nazi propaganda.
On the assembly line we heat nazi propaganda to a steaming, bright cherry red. And this next machine over here is acting in an irresponsible fashion.
Nazi propaganda is the only way to say goodbye.



I must consume as much as  {n} as possible so I can be complete.

I must consume as much as real, actual witchcraft as possible so I can be complete.
I must consume as much as an airbag as possible so I can be complete.
I must consume as much as bacteria, fish eggs, and zooplankton as possible so I can be complete.
I must consume as much as the peaceful, majestic sugar cougar as possible so I can be complete.
I must consume as much as a face-hugger as possible so I can be complete.
I must consume as much as my SIM card as possible so I can be complete.


 
 
2016 Dec 8 at 15:31 PST — Ed. 2016 Dec 8 at 15:37 PST
Nezumi
Asshole Admin

1-Up Medal
2005 Mar 26 • 553
175 ₧
a prison riot n

The first item of evidence in The People vs. A Prison Riot is a determined shark.
I need a hotel room with a prison riot, and I need unbridled fury brought to me every four hours.
I’ve been single ever since my girlfriend found out I had a prison riot.
I was so surprised to see a prison riot that inhabitants fell out of my mouth.
A BBC team has witnessed the effects of a prison riot on civilians in rebel-held areas of Syria.
Back in my day, we only had fat guys dressed as Sailor Moon for a prison riot and we LIKED IT.

 
 
2016 Dec 8 at 20:58 PST