SuperJer Against Humanity Suggestions PART 2

SuperJer Against Humanity Suggestions PART 2

General — Page 1 2 3 ... 104 105 106 [107] 108
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5922
Anime kids
np

They cut open the crocodile to find anime kids, still being slathered in baby oil like always.
The survey team detected getting all fucked up on PCP at the work site so I threw anime kids in my truck and drove straight there.
The thief was caught stealing squirting acid from the sultan, and so was thrown into the pit of anime kids.
Sean Connery famously likes to spend his whole vacation in a beach chair with anime kids in his lap.
I’ve been single ever since my girlfriend found out I had anime kids.
Every time I go to Costco I feel like I come back with anime kids.

 
 
Aug 7 at 11:58 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5922
Still peeing
vt

I went rafting, saw still peeing in the river, no big deal.
SWF looking for a real man. If you’re still peeing, get to the front of the line.
I scream, you scream, still peeing, rhythmic pounding!
My publisher demanded I remove still peeing from my manuscript because it’s “not decent.”
I met this hot chick online. She says she’s still peeing and I think I believe her!
I’m glad you’re my new roomie, my last one was always still peeing. Always.

 
 
Aug 7 at 13:02 PDT — Ed. Aug 7 at 13:03 PDT
Signa
2013 Dec 28 • 142
  is more disgusting than the most depraved, sickest porn.

fellating everything in the room is more disgusting than the most depraved, sickest porn.
either me or you is more disgusting than the most depraved, sickest porn.
my butt surgery is more disgusting than the most depraved, sickest porn.
an ankle holster is more disgusting than the most depraved, sickest porn.
repeating the same mistake is more disgusting than the most depraved, sickest porn.
a tiny bone fragment is more disgusting than the most depraved, sickest porn.

 
 
Aug 7 at 23:11 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5922
Teleporting into my butt
v

Kinect automatically recognizes when you’re teleporting into my butt and turns itself on to broadcast it to your friends.
That kind of attitude is why we have teleporting into my butt now.
President Putin’s approval rating shot to nearly 100% when the Russian government began teleporting into my butt.
At the new circus in town, three jugglers throw each other not a bear, while a man is teleporting into my butt on a galloping horse.
Nancy Drew and the Mystery of Teleporting into My Butt.
If it weren’t for me, you wouldn’t even be teleporting into my butt.

 
 
Aug 9 at 13:21 PDT — Ed. Aug 12 at 00:24 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5922
Getting boobs installed
v

Getting boobs installed! Getting boobs installed! My kingdom for getting boobs installed!
There’s a tightrope convention going on and everybody is getting boobs installed.
Sir, you have a phone call. Something about getting boobs installed?
Jesus is getting boobs installed.
I’m late to my meeting for getting boobs installed.
I thought I was being attacked, so I defended myself with getting boobs installed.



Getting boobs deinstalled
v

Early rugby’s rules: carry the ball as very depraved porn, score points by getting boobs deinstalled, and the whole bottle of sleeping pills shall not be on the field.
I’m a night of gentle flatulence in the streets, but getting boobs deinstalled in the sheets.
Tomorrow the city is throwing a ticker-tape to celebrate getting boobs deinstalled.
Abraham Lincoln wrestled with depression, but that did not keep him from getting boobs deinstalled with turkey tacos.
This year’s hottest new fashion is getting boobs deinstalled on your head.
This one simple trick is all you need to spice up the bedroom: getting boobs deinstalled.

 
 
Aug 13 at 09:13 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5922
Style
nc

In this game you get to collect weird legs and craft style.
But of the tree of style you shall not eat, for in the day you eat of it you shall surely die.
Style in the hand is worth two in the bush.
Gather round, family, it’s time to hang style on the Christmas tree.
I saw style down the long corridor, two of them, actually. I stood still in terror as they said, “You’ll be bedding with us.”
In future times, the children will work together to build style.



Different styles
np

In Arizona, because of the heat, they hand out different styles for free on every corner.
At the new Asian-inspired restaurant downtown, the chef will prepare different styles right at your table.
In my wild days I was fishin’ for pussytuna, among other crimes. They finally caught me doing it with different styles on the New Mexico border.
Chimps in the wild have been observed using different styles to forage for food.
I’m terrible at goodbyes, but not as terrible as different styles.
Chris Angel hurled the deck of cards at different styles and my card appeared in a gentleman with the tummy grumbles!

 
 
Aug 13 at 15:15 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5922
Discount brain surgery
nc

At the auto parts store, the salesman tried to upsell me on discount brain surgery when I bought my VERY jealous, protective pet spider.
I noticed symptoms of discount brain surgery, so I went to my naturopathic doctor. He said, “it’s mounting!” but I’m not sure.
To change kitty’s litter: grab discount brain surgery, dig out any clumps, and refill with your husband.
Moistness torture” may be cruel but it’s worth it to get discount brain surgery from a suspected terrorist.
Little girls are made of sugar, spice, and discount brain surgery.
I swear to God I have had it up to HERE with discount brain surgery.

 
 
Aug 13 at 15:18 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5922
Running down
v

We have a zero tolerance policy for shooting a rabbit with an arrow here at Disney. So get running down and get out!
My teacher graded my paper F because I wrote about running down.
Baskin Robbins is going off the deep end with their new flavors, I saw running down flavor and then touching my deformity flavor.
I think it’s lovely that you’re getting into a dog boner, but I won’t tell your father. He’ll start running down.
At the Amazon Go store you can grab all the time and walk right out the door without running down.
I’m running down in the streets, but proving she’s a witch in the sheets.

 
 
Aug 13 at 15:29 PDT
Crytax
Ph. D in Cryonics

2006 Apr 26 • 307
11 ₧
  and   are qualities I look for in a potential spouse.
Play 2

my butt surgery and farting while asleep are qualities I look for in a potential spouse.
kids these days and a censor bar are qualities I look for in a potential spouse.
a super-tiny butt hole and a huge mountain are qualities I look for in a potential spouse.
blacking out and making a sex sound and a slut who will do anything are qualities I look for in a potential spouse.
a piece of lint near my vagina and no clean towels are qualities I look for in a potential spouse.
meatball marinara and conjuring are qualities I look for in a potential spouse.

What if Gillette WAS the best a man could get?
 
 
Aug 15 at 20:15 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5922
Milkfat
nc

Traffic is backed up for 7 miles due to an overturned semi hauling milkfat. The driver was adults eating teenagers alive.
I don’t need love because I’m milkfat. Sorry mom!
Here on the assembly line we heat milkfat to a steaming, bright cherry red, and this next machine over here is trying to handcuff a ghost.
I picked up a hitchhiker and he showed me milkfat while we were still in the car.
You’re not a mom! You’re just milkfat!
The Halifax bridge finally collapsed under the intense weight of milkfat.



My Costco card
n

The thief was caught stealing the T-Rex from the sultan, and so was thrown into the pit of my Costco card.
The hottest new cryptocurrency is “Caustic-solvent-coin” -- but it can only be used for transactions involving my Costco card.
I buried my treasure under my Costco card so you’d never find it!
But of the tree of my Costco card you shall not eat, for in the day you eat of it you shall surely die.
I clean my Costco card by putting it in the dishwasher. It usually doesn’t end up getting wrapped around a tree.
I misclicked while my boss was looking over my shoulder and my video of my Costco card came on the screen.

 
 
Aug 16 at 11:39 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5922
White punks on dope
np

Sometimes, when I’m feeling naughty, I start violently crashing down the stairs before white punks on dope.
Last night at the gym I was working out so hard that a creepy dude came shooting out of white punks on dope.
I misclicked while my boss was looking over my shoulder and my video of white punks on dope came on the screen.
I’m gonna prove the link between white punks on dope and spiders again! You’ll all see!
During my driving test, I backed my car into white punks on dope. I still got an 85!
Can you come get me? I agreed to go with some guys who promised me white punks on dope and it’s getting weird.

 
 
Aug 16 at 19:28 PDT — Ed. Aug 16 at 19:29 PDT
Crytax
Ph. D in Cryonics

2006 Apr 26 • 307
11 ₧
Real fast danger
nc

So I go over and I open the door and just as I suspected. It’s real fast danger.
Two best friends and real fast danger take a road trip, and discover my womanly virtue along the way.
A billboard on my way home had a picture of any decent person and the words “real fast danger”. I don’t get it!
Indiana Jones grabbed the idol and real fast danger came rolling after him, but he escaped by drinking wine in the tub all day!
Last Christmas, everyone got real fast danger under the tree and my innards in their stockings!
Josh said, on the way in to work today, he swerved around real fast danger on the freeway.

What if Gillette WAS the best a man could get?
 
 
Aug 16 at 22:08 PDT
Crytax
Ph. D in Cryonics

2006 Apr 26 • 307
11 ₧
Handholding cuddlesex
v

What Mom made nearly killed me in my dream. I think it’s my brain telling me to avoid handholding cuddlesex.
Here on the assembly line we heat the power of love to a steaming, bright cherry red, and this next machine over here is handholding cuddlesex.
When you two are done handholding cuddlesex, can we please get a Turkish wedding and get out of here?!
Handholding cuddlesex can actually erode a humorless Japanese businessman, which is gradually causing a decrease in effectiveness.
Ever since Pakistani cosmonauts appeared in the neighborhood, I’ve felt uncomfortable while handholding cuddlesex.
My school is throwing a traffic cone full of bibimbap party this weekend. Come for wrestling alligators. Stay for handholding cuddlesex!

What if Gillette WAS the best a man could get?
 
 
Aug 17 at 22:22 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5922
Asexually reproducing
vt

asexually reproducing is where an iceberg goes to die.
No one in Morocco can be asexually reproducing without registering with the government.
The three techniques of Sumo Wrestling: A big, heavy shotgun, the fuel line and asexually reproducing.
Don’t look at me while I’m asexually reproducing! It messes me up!
Wolves don’t eat asexually reproducing, and neither should kings.
My car looks like it’s asexually reproducing but I don’t mind. It gets me from point A to point B.

 
 
Aug 20 at 14:39 PDT
jeff is wizlord

2014 Nov 12 • 279
An extra creamy orgasm
n

Ok, I’ll admit giant meaty hands might have been a bad idea. But to be fair, I didn’t expect it to result in an extra creamy orgasm.
Aww! My mom packed a terrible lunch: An extra creamy orgasm and closet lesbians.
I’ve been single ever since my girlfriend found out I had an extra creamy orgasm.
The water tower looks like it’s an extra creamy orgasm from this angle.
Original style is fine, but chunky kinda tastes like an extra creamy orgasm.
I don’t know how getting tickled until you bust a nut could lead to an extra creamy orgasm but it probably involves laughing with a mouth full of firecrackers!

 
 
Aug 22 at 19:39 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5922
Jeff!
 
 
Aug 23 at 11:44 PDT
Signa
2013 Dec 28 • 142
Launching nukes for the greater good
v

Robots are best suited to repetitive tasks, such as going to Wendy’s or Launching nukes for the greater good.
15% of married men say they’ve cheated by Launching nukes for the greater good with another woman.
There is no “I” in “team” but there is an “I” in “Launching nukes for the greater good”.
Lot’s of people drive down to Portland for a madhouse! A madhouse! and to avoid Launching nukes for the greater good.
Chimps in the wild have been observed using Launching nukes for the greater good to forage for food.
My house. 8 o’clock. Launching nukes for the greater good.

 
 
Aug 26 at 11:19 PDT — Ed. Aug 26 at 11:20 PDT
Crytax
Ph. D in Cryonics

2006 Apr 26 • 307
11 ₧
Loss
nc

CAUTION: Keep this worthless orphan out of hopper and chute opening. Failure to comply risks loss.
Wolves don’t eat loss, and neither should kings.
This year’s hottest album is “cold toilet water in the butthole” by loss.
It’s lucky to touch loss; it’s even luckier to touch mine.
Every time I go to Costco I feel like I come back with loss.
I didn’t have any cash, so I tipped the pizza guy with loss.

What if Gillette WAS the best a man could get?
 
 
Aug 27 at 09:12 PDT — Ed. Aug 27 at 09:13 PDT
Crytax
Ph. D in Cryonics

2006 Apr 26 • 307
11 ₧
Salesman: *slaps top of  * This bad boy can fit so much   in it.
Play 2

Salesman: *slaps top of innocent women and children* This bad boy can fit so much a twisted horror body creeping down the stairs in it.
Salesman: *slaps top of an orbital laser satellite* This bad boy can fit so much cannibals in it.
Salesman: *slaps top of a big donkey* This bad boy can fit so much a Powerpoint presentation in it.
Salesman: *slaps top of his tumor* This bad boy can fit so much removing a uterine tumor with my teeth in it.
Salesman: *slaps top of something sweet for the kids* This bad boy can fit so much being deep inside each other in it.
Salesman: *slaps top of Grandma’s ghost* This bad boy can fit so much a motorist in it.

What if Gillette WAS the best a man could get?
 
 
Aug 27 at 09:17 PDT — Ed. Aug 27 at 09:18 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5922
might work better with non-countable hint:

Salesman: *slaps top of  {n}* This bad boy can fit so much  {c} in it.
Play 2

Salesman: *slaps top of the last great American* This bad boy can fit so much unbearable bitching in it.
Salesman: *slaps top of Katy Perry’s kitty, Kitty Purry* This bad boy can fit so much infinite sausage in it.
Salesman: *slaps top of an extremely painful sneeze* This bad boy can fit so much absolutely no black people in it.
Salesman: *slaps top of violent docking, coming in hard* This bad boy can fit so much turkey gravy in it.
Salesman: *slaps top of man animals* This bad boy can fit so much my butt surgery in it.
Salesman: *slaps top of space Nazis* This bad boy can fit so much intense pressure in it.

 
 
Aug 28 at 12:05 PDT — Ed. Aug 28 at 12:06 PDT
Signa
2013 Dec 28 • 142
A toilet designed like a highchair
nc

The ‘A toilet designed like a highchair moth’ has adapted to feed on intestines draped everywhere, and hide under lactating dogs in cities and towns to spin its cocoon.
For girl scouts, my daughter went door-to-door giving everyone in my neighborhood A toilet designed like a highchair.
I could tell several children had ended up behind me when I felt A toilet designed like a highchair as I backed up.
My dream house has A toilet designed like a highchair built in, an extra garage for fornicating all day, every day, and too much wiggling for the door bell.
... And so my mom asked me, “If all your friends were A toilet designed like a highchair, would you be A toilet designed like a highchair as well?”
The new bill before congress would require A toilet designed like a highchair in all K-through-12 classrooms.

 
 
Aug 30 at 17:16 PDT — Ed. Aug 30 at 17:17 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5922
Bruises on my neck
np

Rescue crews with a helicopter took 3 hours to rescue a bus full of bruises on my neck hanging over the freeway.
I chipped my tooth on rolling eyes. My dentist said I’m lucky it wasn’t bruises on my neck.
Rocky tubes inside the volcano, sometimes called bruises on my neck, are the passages for butt sounds to flow.
Vote for me and I’ll stop spinning blades, get rid of bruises on my neck, and give everyone things that aren’t fruit for free.
Doctor! My child has bruises on my neck coursing through his veins!
We’re having the runs situation. Watch out for bruises on my neck and please stand by...

 
 
Sep 4 at 11:25 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5922
More Spider-Man GIFs
np

The terrorists will execute more Spider-Man GIFs every 20 minutes until they receive daddy in his underpants.
What’s in the fridge? Soda, OJ, more Spider-Man GIFs... Sweet! Sunny-D!
Hello, 911? I think there’s more Spider-Man GIFs in my house...
In this game you get to collect a sloppy blowjob and craft more Spider-Man GIFs.
The food and yard waste bin is only for more Spider-Man GIFs (clean) and hookers in the trunk (oil-free).
More than 260 people were injured by festive firecracker blasts and more Spider-Man GIFs in the Philippines.

 
 
Sep 11 at 12:56 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5922
Mom's face
n

This is my second kid. My first one came out as mom's face.
For Farm Day at my school we had a haystack to search through and find a real sonuvabitch, the death simulator and mom's face.
A weird glitch in the Oculus Rift demo caused me to experience mom's face like I was really there.
Life is so strange. I went to college to learn a newer, sleeker leopard, but now for work I’m mom's face. Go figure!
Amtrak officials confirm mom's face would have prevented train derailment.
If I had mom's face, you’d be Coach Diddleplayers!

 
 
Sep 13 at 20:53 PDT — Ed. Sep 13 at 20:54 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5922
I take pride in  .

I take pride in getting HUGE.
I take pride in a non-steroidal anti-inflammatory drug.
I take pride in adult language.
I take pride in a wild animal.
I take pride in diddling.
I take pride in my sexy fox costume.

 
 
Sep 15 at 11:03 PDT