SuperJer Against Humanity Suggestions PART 2

SuperJer Against Humanity Suggestions PART 2

General — Page 1 2 3 ... 23 24 25 [26] 27 28 29 ... 107 108 109
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5924
screaming vt

... And so my mom asked me, “If all your friends were screaming, would you be screaming as well?”
My father abandoned my mother and I because he was screaming.
The three techniques of Sumo Wrestling: Screaming, baking onto the sidewalk and a skull on a spike.
An excellent target nearly killed me in my dream. I think it's my brain telling me to avoid screaming.
A lifetime of screaming awaits. Call now for a free consultation.
The band hadn’t started playing when the stage effect with a lonely grave went off early, ejecting screaming into the air!



a knotted muscle n

Don’t email me at work! Email me at my personal address: a-knotted-muscle@empowerment.net
Sir, you have a phone call. Something about a knotted muscle?
I misclicked while my boss was looking over my shoulder and my video of a knotted muscle came on the screen.
Dad! I’m all done feeling fat and sassy, so I have a knotted muscle left over if you’re still interested.
Help! I’m a knotted muscle and I need YOU to do something about it!
If you do it right, putting up with you is all about a knotted muscle.



tipping over v

After last week’s stunning victory, the wrestler earned his nickname “Tipping over
The true reason for the Tacoma Narrows Bridge collapse? Tipping over.
Lips all licorice! As far as the eye can see! And it’s all tipping over.
That’s not funny. My dad was killed by tipping over.
In my wild days I was tipping over, among other crimes. They finally caught me doing it with a demand from the king on the New Mexico border.
I don’t give money to the homeless. Instead I provide tipping over directly.



looming danger nc

Ever since looming danger appeared in the neighborhood, those responsible has been eyed with suspicion.
If you have a dream about looming danger, it meas you’re worried about a jet of hot air.
I am become looming danger, the destroyer of a cure for what ails ya.
In the public looming danger model, a third-party service provider delivers the looming danger service over the Internet.
The refugees must be relocated because the shelter is right on top of looming danger.
What’s in the fridge? Soda, OJ, looming danger... Sweet! Sunny-D!

 
 
2016 Jun 1 at 15:15 PDT
Aarilight
2015 Jun 3 • 1
masturbating furiously v

John “back surgery” Smith. The genius who brought us masturbating furiously.
Then God said, “Let there be masturbating furiously”; and there was masturbating furiously. And God saw that masturbating furiously was good.
Peter Molyneux’s new game will use facial recognition to explore masturbating furiously in a very realistic way.
Online trolls turned Microsoft’s teen girl AI into some kind of a wayward dental implant-loving bot that hates masturbating furiously.
In my state, masturbating furiously is a legal right for me and my native brothers.
The Halifax bridge failed under the intense weight of masturbating furiously, so the temporary replacement uses a dense woolly undercoat over the chest.

 
 
2016 Jun 1 at 22:32 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5924
That is a beautiful first and only post, Aari. : )
 
 
2016 Jun 2 at 11:23 PDT
jeff is wizlord

2014 Nov 12 • 279
Let's play pretend! I'll be  . You can be  .2

Let's play pretend! I'll be nature’s candy. You can be hindquarters.
Let's play pretend! I'll be an English-speaking Mexican. You can be windmilling.
Let's play pretend! I'll be a doozy. You can be nuances.
Let's play pretend! I'll be the longest, thinnest hot dog. You can be a watermelon.
Let's play pretend! I'll be membranes. You can be making it go back in.
Let's play pretend! I'll be dilation of the uterus. You can be a vortex that keeps mumbling.

 
 
2016 Jun 2 at 13:53 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5924
jeff is wizlord said:

Let's play pretend! I'll be  . You can be  .2

Let's play pretend! I'll be original white, straight Barbie. You can be mercury poisoning.
Let's play pretend! I'll be body shaming. You can be a falling piano.
Let's play pretend! I'll be nudity. You can be a conflict of interest.
Let's play pretend! I'll be your fault. You can be learning an important lesson.
Let's play pretend! I'll be the Army. You can be a lumberjack orgy.
Let's play pretend! I'll be an enhanced interrogation. You can be wrestling alligators.




Oooh I like this concept.
 
 
2016 Jun 2 at 14:00 PDT — Ed. 2016 Jun 2 at 14:00 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5924
Or... reversed?

Let's play pretend! You can be  . And I'll be  .2

Let's play pretend! You can be a quickie. And I'll be sex for procreation.
Let's play pretend! You can be peeing in the sink. And I'll be never coming to fruition.
Let's play pretend! You can be giving birth to your own parents. And I'll be a healthcare professional.
Let's play pretend! You can be a squirming pile of Japanese robot sex dolls. And I'll be a secret exit.
Let's play pretend! You can be awesome lectures. And I'll be a sarcastic horse.
Let's play pretend! You can be a positive test for bodily fluids. And I'll be ideological differences.

 
 
2016 Jun 2 at 14:01 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5924
hydrogen nc

My publisher demanded I remove hydrogen from my manuscript because it’s “not decent.”
The water tower looks like it’s hydrogen from this angle.
Here’s a certificate for hydrogen. I am at your service.
Someone has to die in order that the rest of us should value hydrogen more. Now hold still.
Crews are working hard after Bertha, the tunnel-boring machine ran into hydrogen and stopped.
For my last meal I want the body seasoned heavily with hydrogen.



a blood transfusion n

Populations of endangered rhinoceros are threatened by a blood transfusion and this stew.
Ha! You activated my trap card, “A Blood Transfusion!” You’re cursed with fornicating all day, every day until the end of the game!
Our artisanal process ages a blood transfusion for 3 years, before going right into illegal porn, rapidly eating a bowl of spider webs.
I picked up a hitchhiker and he showed me a blood transfusion while we were still in the car.
Dear diary, today I went into the city and saw a blood transfusion for the first time!
The city put in new road signs to indicate a blood transfusion just up ahead.



one fast kitty nc

President Putin’s approval rating shot to nearly 100% when the Russian government began one fast kitty.
Dagnabbit! I got one fast kitty all jammed up in the wheel well again.
I noticed symptoms of one fast kitty, so I went to my naturopathic doctor. He said, “it’s something we assumed to be true!” but I’m not sure.
Your attempt to get little Susie what’s-her-name drunk on lime vodka ended with one fast kitty.
In future times, the children will work together to build one fast kitty.
Man invented one fast kitty, so woman invented a good thing for the heart.



threatening my mom v

Growing up in the foster care system, I learned to be threatening my mom if I wanted a new family.
I’ve got a master’s degree in Threatening My Mom!
Thanks for threatening my mom last night. *wink* *wink*
Threatening my mom brings a noodle sorcerer to a child’s face.
Military scientists in Syria found traces of threatening my mom in the soil.
Life is so strange. I went to college to learn threatening my mom, but now for work I’m a molecule. Go figure!

 
 
2016 Jun 2 at 14:04 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5924
skinning vt

Then God said, “Let there be skinning”; and there was skinning. And God saw that skinning was good.
At the book signing, George R.R. Martin signed my copy of ‟A Song of Skinning”! I shook his hand and it felt like skinning.
If you do it right, skinning is all about twiddly fingers.
Their rising all at once was as the sound of skinning heard remote.
I need help with my computer! I downloaded gross people and now I’m having trouble with skinning.
Ever since the accident, I freeze in terror at the sight of skinning.



sloughage of the anus and lower rectum nc

Music without the sounds of sloughage of the anus and lower rectum is hardly music at all.
In this game you get to collect grape flavor and craft sloughage of the anus and lower rectum.
You evaded my “Sloughage of the Anus and Lower Rectum” attack! Most impressive.
Jesus is sloughage of the anus and lower rectum.
We’re having a garage sale to get rid of the man who is stalking me, llama spit, and sloughage of the anus and lower rectum.
Who so pulleth out sloughage of the anus and lower rectum of this stone is rightwise king born of a short muscular rectum.



getting packed in a box v

Populations of endangered rhinoceros are threatened by getting packed in a box and favorable terrain.
The true reason for the Tacoma Narrows Bridge collapse? Getting packed in a box.
You’ve got to come see the baby, it’s as cute as getting packed in a box.
Go, go, Gadget Getting Packed in a Box!
Getting packed in a box has proven extremely popular among young, urban audiences in focus testing.
When the beef came at me it was like getting packed in a box.



hiding under the bed v

In my wild days I was hiding under the bed, among other crimes. They finally caught me doing it with crossing a moral boundary on the New Mexico border.
My new phone looks like it’s hiding under the bed but I don’t mind. It makes calls.
A weird glitch in the Oculus Rift demo caused me to experience hiding under the bed like I was really there.
Can you come get me? I agreed to go with some guys who promised me hiding under the bed and it’s getting weird.
I can’t believe you guys went hiding under the bed without me! Loop me in next time, I want my person too!
Nancy Drew and the Mystery of Hiding Under the Bed.

 
 
2016 Jun 2 at 14:09 PDT — Ed. 2016 Jun 2 at 14:10 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5924
coughing up a toonie v

The three techniques of Sumo Wrestling: A $160,000 diamond, rolling a golf cart and coughing up a toonie.
More than 260 people were injured by festive firecracker blasts and coughing up a toonie in the Philippines.
Alexander also named a city in India “Coughing up a Toonie” after his dead horse.
Ever since I got back from Mexico I’ve been really into coughing up a toonie.
Kraft Foods has announced that it will phase out the use of coughing up a toonie in its food processing operations.
Terrified, I scrambled up the tree, with a tacky, god-awful facelift jumping and nipping at me from below and even coughing up a toonie.



inspecting the poo v

Hark! What inspecting the poo through yonder window breaks?
I misclicked while my boss was looking over my shoulder and my video of inspecting the poo came on the screen.
Tomorrow the city is throwing a ticker-tape to celebrate inspecting the poo.
I chipped my tooth on a silent, anonymous encounter. My dentist said I’m lucky it wasn’t inspecting the poo.
Peter Molyneux’s new game will use facial recognition to explore inspecting the poo in a very realistic way.
Music without the sounds of inspecting the poo is hardly music at all.



picking a nit v

During the war, German scientists experimented with picking a nit to weaponize non-human animals.
If you do it right, spiking the pug is all about picking a nit.
Experts said that based on preliminary data, picking a nit appears to have occurred on the Puente Hills thrust fault.
After the war, the British government had Alan Turing chemically castrated because he was picking a nit.
I don’t give money to the homeless. Instead I provide picking a nit directly.
Ever since the accident, I freeze in terror at the sight of picking a nit.



my murder list n

I’m glad you’re my new roomie, my last one was always my murder list. Always.
At the lake, everyone began scrambling toward the shore as my murder list surfaced from below.
Honey, you can’t keep putting my murder list down the garbage disposal!
The first item of evidence in The People vs. My Murder List is sock puppets.
Last Christmas, I gave you my murder list. The very next day, you gave it away.
Last Christmas, everyone got the godhead under the tree and my murder list in their stockings!

 
 
2016 Jun 2 at 14:13 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5924
no good option n

USGS seismologist Lucy Jones said the 5.1 quake has a 5% chance of being no good option.
Thanks for no good option last night. *wink* *wink*
The Halifax bridge failed under the intense weight of no good option, so the temporary replacement uses a heron.
CAUTION: Keep no good option out of hopper and chute opening. Failure to comply risks personal injury.
I reached expectantly into no good option, but found only exact science.
What the unbearable bitching department lacks in selection, we make up for in no good option.



a cracker n

I want to be buried with a cracker.
That’s not funny. My dad was killed by a cracker.
Nancy Drew and the Mystery of a Cracker.
I didn’t have any cash, so I tipped the pizza guy with a cracker.
The water tower looks like it’s a cracker from this angle.
Kirkland mom makes $20,000 a week with a cracker.



your IP address n

Life is so strange. I went to college to learn your IP address, but now for work I’m just a bit of cocaine. Go figure!
Growing up we never had your IP address, but we had to deal with the birth of a male heir, and I want the opposite for my children.
Class, turn to page 100 and start reading “Your IP Address and You”.
The city condemned our house after finding your IP address in the crawlspace.
But I promised my kids they could get your IP address for Christmas!
I went rafting, saw your IP address in the river, no big deal.



extreme pressure nc

I am become extreme pressure, the destroyer of a power cord.
I tried to sneak out of the store with extreme pressure under one arm and a complete wimp down my pants.
If you have a dream about closet lesbians, it meas you’re worried about extreme pressure.
Before you embark on a journey of revenge, consider extreme pressure.
The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for 30 years she served my family nothing but extreme pressure.
When the celestial spheres align, extreme pressure will descend from the heavens.

 
 
2016 Jun 2 at 14:22 PDT — Ed. 2016 Jun 2 at 14:23 PDT
jeff is wizlord

2014 Nov 12 • 279
SuperJer said:
Or... reversed?

Let's play pretend! You can be  . And I'll be  .2

Let's play pretend! You can be unnatural lust. And I'll be gangstas.
Let's play pretend! You can be American interference. And I'll be a loose handrail.
Let's play pretend! You can be unsuspecting bystanders. And I'll be a burn victim.
Let's play pretend! You can be various fluids. And I'll be Coach Diddleplayers.
Let's play pretend! You can be banning the Pope. And I'll be an icy tomb.
Let's play pretend! You can be a dusty butthole. And I'll be hot naughty bodies.



Reversed fur shore.

Demon General Darkdeath Evilman n

This one simple trick is all you need to spice up the bedroom: Demon General Darkdeath Evilman.
Though mortally wounded by three shots to his abdomen, the Secret Service agent returned fire, killing the assassin with Demon General Darkdeath Evilman.
You stole the elevator shaft from a charity? That’s like taking candy from a baby! You’re Demon General Darkdeath Evilman and you’re going to hell!
In this game you get to collect cute lil’ child soldiers and craft Demon General Darkdeath Evilman.
That’s not funny. My dad was killed by Demon General Darkdeath Evilman.
If you have a dream about a seat belt, it meas you’re worried about Demon General Darkdeath Evilman.

 
 
2016 Jun 2 at 14:26 PDT — Ed. 2016 Jun 2 at 14:35 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5924
an overdose n

Every morning I hop out of bed and get straight to an overdose, even before I put on my clothes.
My financial analyst has advised me to invest my fortune in an overdose.
Pool rules: No running. No befuddlin’ mah dumb cracka mind. Keep an overdose out of the deep end.
That’s Captain Rogers the Rancorous of “An Overdose,” the finest ship in the harbor!
My favorite new band is “An Overdose and a Phone Booth”.
The city condemned our house after finding an overdose in the crawlspace.



a stretcher n

I didn’t have any cash, so I tipped the pizza guy with a stretcher.
How embarrassing! I forget I left a stretcher in the foyer.
I couldn’t see the eclipse because of a stretcher in the sky.
Police were able to track the suspect after finding DNA evidence in a stretcher.
I was so surprised to see things money can’t buy that a stretcher fell out of my mouth.
The city put in new road signs to indicate a stretcher just up ahead.



two firetrucks np

There is no revenge so complete as two firetrucks.
In a world with two firetrucks giving birth to a prosthetic baby, one man must overcome a wall of spikes. Coming this summer.
Everything I need to live on a desert island: Joie de vivre with two firetrucks.
Our artisanal process ages two firetrucks for 3 years, before going right into my illegitimate son, rapidly startling a tweaker.
I don’t give money to the homeless. Instead I provide two firetrucks directly.
Terrified, I scrambled up the tree, with two firetrucks jumping and nipping at me from below and even running around slamming doors.



a box of medical supplies n

I was vacuuming when I sucked my innards out from under the couch. I kept pulling until a box of medical supplies came out too!
In North Korea, instead of streetlights, they have traffic ladies that stand in a box of medical supplies in the middle of each intersection.
Last Christmas, I gave you a box of medical supplies. The very next day, you gave it away.
What the sandpaper department lacks in selection, we make up for in a box of medical supplies.
The true reason for the Tacoma Narrows Bridge collapse? A box of medical supplies.
Two best friends and a box of medical supplies take a road trip, and discover my point of view along the way.

 
 
2016 Jun 2 at 14:26 PDT — Ed. 2016 Jun 2 at 14:27 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5924
quitting Facebook v

My publisher demanded I remove quitting Facebook from my manuscript because it’s “not decent.”
The new Harley-Davidson hog’s got a strong magnet painted on both sides, which some say encourages quitting Facebook.
Wine tasters describe this Pinot Grigio as having silky hints of carrion birds and a mouthfeel like quitting Facebook.
Kirkland mom makes $20,000 a week with quitting Facebook.
A BBC team has witnessed the effects of quitting Facebook on civilians in rebel-held areas of Syria.
A lifetime of quitting Facebook awaits. Call now for a free consultation.



searching the web with Duck Duck Go v

At his last campaign rally, Bernie Sanders began searching the web with Duck Duck Go in front of his top supporters.
The band hadn’t started playing when the stage effect with a big, red X went off early, ejecting searching the web with Duck Duck Go into the air!
Ever since I got back from Mexico I’ve been really into searching the web with Duck Duck Go.
In a world with not a bear shotgunning, one man must overcome searching the web with Duck Duck Go. Coming this summer.
Oh dear God! That was the last of my medication for “Searching the Web with Duck Duck Go” syndrome!
Robots are best suited to repetitive tasks, such as searching the web with Duck Duck Go or loving someone SO much.



avoiding the flu v

Avoiding the flu isn’t getting old, but I sure am!
As one, the entire U.N. assembly rose to their feet, and slowly, solemnly, began avoiding the flu.
Our artisanal process ages a salad for 3 years, before going right into avoiding the flu, rapidly hotboxing a cat.
J. Robert Oppenheimer is often called the father of avoiding the flu.
On my way to work today, I had to swerve around avoiding the flu on the freeway.
Kinect automatically recognizes when you’re avoiding the flu and turns itself on to broadcast it to your friends.



the flu n

Don’t email me at work! Email me at my personal address: the-flu@a-traffic-cone-full-of-bibimbap.net
For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into the flu. It was not my lips you kissed, but an irritated throat.
India is launching a rocket to test the effects of micro-gravity on the flu.
How did I get hurt? I got my foot caught in a bucket of girl problems, tumbled down the escalator and crashed into the flu.
Until quite recently, the flu had the highest tensile strength of any substance known to man.
Alien cover-ups, false flag operations, and military experiments with the flu! It’s all here in my manifesto!



 
 
2016 Jun 2 at 14:32 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5924
a violent sneeze n

Until quite recently, a violent sneeze had the highest tensile strength of any substance known to man.
Last Christmas, I gave you a violent sneeze. The very next day, you gave it away.
When the celestial spheres align, a violent sneeze will descend from the heavens.
It has been prophesied that the young king will eventually be killed by a violent sneeze.
I thought I was being attacked, so I defended myself with a violent sneeze.
I’ve been chopping down trees to build a violent sneeze for me and my wife.



fluids from my face np

This workplace has gone (0) days without fluids from my face.
The three techniques of Sumo Wrestling: Hugs and kisses, an enjoyable life and fluids from my face.
Growing up we never had fluids from my face, but we had to deal with a backseat, and I want the opposite for my children.
When I saw fluids from my face I was scared, but when it started coming toward me, riding your bike down the Luxor, I went white as a sheet!
At the auto parts store, the salesman tried to upsell me on hella teen angst when I bought fluids from my face.
Bumper sticker: My other ride is fluids from my face.



my sinuses np

Here on the assembly line we heat my sinuses to a steaming, bright cherry red, and this next machine over here is sewing it shut.
The way to the lost city was perilous, and we soon found ourselves knee deep in my sinuses.
For my last meal I want assault preparations seasoned heavily with my sinuses.
I left my wife at home all day and she replaced whaling with my sinuses.
I need a hotel room with rolling, and I need my sinuses brought to me every four hours.
At the skating rink there was my sinuses and everyone fell down at once.



quite a few more tissues! np

Working on my car I found quite a few more tissues! had crawled inside the engine block and died.
Nancy Drew and the Mystery of Quite a Few More Tissues!.
Their rising all at once was as the sound of quite a few more tissues! heard remote.
McDonald’s combo menu #3: Double Quarter Pounder with Cheese, a large Coke, and a side of quite a few more tissues!.
On my wedding night my father told me, “Don’t go chasing quite a few more tissues!.”
The new summer blockbuster targeted at tweens features a girl with quite a few more tissues! and a mysterious boy who fights a pig chute.

 
 
2016 Jun 2 at 14:34 PDT — Ed. 2016 Jun 2 at 14:36 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5924
a second herd of cats n

J. Robert Oppenheimer is often called the father of a second herd of cats.
For my last meal I want a second herd of cats seasoned heavily with diplomatic support.
Her inheritance was squandered upon a second herd of cats while Cinderella was abused and forced to become the southwest corner in her own home.
Hark! What a second herd of cats through yonder window breaks?
The band hadn’t started playing when the stage effect with Satan’s latest abomination went off early, ejecting a second herd of cats into the air!
When a second herd of cats is ready, a bad chicken will appear.



my first payment n

Terrified, I scrambled up the tree, with my first payment jumping and nipping at me from below and even slapping everything.
CAUTION: Keep my first payment out of hopper and chute opening. Failure to comply risks personal injury.
I booby-trapped my yard so that trespassers will be surprised by my first payment.
Soldiers in Iraq are deployed with upgrades and are ordered to be my first payment no matter what.
At least I was trying to cheer people up when I took my first payment to the funeral.
Researchers have trained chimps to recognise ruining our planet by rewarding them with my first payment.



dinner tonight nc

Don’t look at me while I’m dinner tonight! It messes me up!
I’ll never know why my grandparents find dinner tonight so relaxing.
Working on my car I found dinner tonight had crawled inside the engine block and died.
It’s not delivery. It’s dinner tonight.
My girlfriend was getting something out of the closet. Lucky she didn’t look up, or she’d have seen dinner tonight.
My publisher demanded I remove dinner tonight from my manuscript because it’s “not decent.”



a delighted baby piglet n

Until quite recently, a delighted baby piglet had the highest tensile strength of any substance known to man.
I need help with my computer! I downloaded a delighted baby piglet and now I’m having trouble with freshly squozen poo water.
There’s no reason for a delighted baby piglet before breakfast.
When I get older, I don’t want to be a delighted baby piglet.
On my wedding night my father told me, “Don’t go chasing a delighted baby piglet.”
This is my second kid. My first one came out as a delighted baby piglet.



 
 
2016 Jun 2 at 14:42 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5924
the twenty most attractive politicians n

Ever since an enchanted ring appeared in the neighborhood, the twenty most attractive politicians has been eyed with suspicion.
I left my wife at home all day and she replaced spongy flesh with the twenty most attractive politicians.
Our mystical secret society is dedicated to elucidating the mysteries of the twenty most attractive politicians casting a hex.
It’s lucky to touch the twenty most attractive politicians; it’s even luckier to touch mine.
Kinect automatically recognizes when you’re the twenty most attractive politicians and turns itself on to broadcast it to your friends.
Always walk into an interview with the twenty most attractive politicians and confidence, and you’ll get the job. Unless they hate a flimsy pterodactyl.



accusations np

In this game you get to collect high heels and craft accusations.
Apparently, “Accusations” is a dance move in the Hip-Hop and B-Boy community.
CAUTION: Keep accusations out of hopper and chute opening. Failure to comply risks personal injury.
Before you embark on a journey of revenge, consider accusations.
I think that ecstasy was cut with accusations. After one hit I began very, very rapidly porkin’.
For my last meal I want accusations seasoned heavily with doing things for attention.



bored children np

Sir! We are out of bored children, but we found hatred for children while on patrol. Shall we ration it to the men?
I’m late to my meeting for bored children.
Help! I’m bored children and I need YOU to do something about it!
At the new Asian-inspired restaurant downtown, the chef will prepare bored children right at your table.
The best comfort food will always be greens, bored children, and fried chicken.
The new self-help fad: Better Living Through Bored Children!



negative value nc

You’ve got to come see the baby, it’s as cute as negative value.
Nancy Drew and the Mystery of Negative Value.
Negative value saved is negative value earned.
Alien cover-ups, false flag operations, and military experiments with negative value! It’s all here in my manifesto!
Life is so strange. I went to college to learn negative value, but now for work I’m a pig chute. Go figure!
At the carnival I went on the thing where you ride landlubbers. It made me feel like I was negative value.

 
 
2016 Jun 2 at 15:20 PDT
Nezumi
Asshole Admin

1-Up Medal
2005 Mar 26 • 553
175 ₧
Things are getting nutty in here:

complete madnes np

The Great Wall was actually built to keep complete madnes out of mainland China.
My dad’s keyboard has a special key for complete madnes.
But I promised my kids they could get complete madnes for Christmas!
The new Harley-Davidson hog’s got complete madnes painted on both sides, which some say encourages Woman 2.0.
Hark! What complete madnes through yonder window breaks?
Some anarchist made the sign over the expressway say “THE STATE IS COMPLETE MADNES LETTING HER IN.”



a case of mistaken identity n

If you kids don’t stop shimmying up the pole, I will turn a case of mistaken identity around!
Though mortally wounded by three shots to his abdomen, the Secret Service agent returned fire, killing the assassin with a case of mistaken identity.
Doctor, you’re a genius! No one has ever thought of using beef curtains to treat a case of mistaken identity!
In a world with a case of mistaken identity mistaking a man for a lady, one man must overcome rubbing my gland. Coming this summer.
At Boeing R&D, we test a line by connecting through a case of mistaken identity to a special 10,000-volt battery.
Today’s baseball game was called off when an irate fan threw a case of mistaken identity at a player from the stands.



sheer panic nc

At the book signing, George R.R. Martin signed my copy of ‟A Song of Sheer Panic”! I shook his hand and it felt like sheer panic.
I’m late to my meeting for sheer panic.
Here on the assembly line we heat sheer panic to a steaming, bright cherry red, and this next machine over here is grinding on it.
Let something we assumed to be true host your next party, providing sheer panic like you’ve never seen before.
Nancy Drew and the Mystery of Sheer Panic.
We need more black cards! Maybe another one about sheer panic, but with a battalion of ruthless, killer cyborgs!

 
 
2016 Jun 2 at 19:51 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5924
complete removal of the head nc

I’m undergoing immersion therapy by continually exposing myself to complete removal of the head.
Facebook just bought Silicon Valley tech startup Human Body Warmth Co., tapping into the growing market for complete removal of the head.
... And so my mom asked me, “If all your friends were complete removal of the head, would you be complete removal of the head as well?”
I surreptitiously crawled into bed, only to find complete removal of the head.
Tomorrow the city is throwing a ticker-tape to celebrate complete removal of the head.
Ugh. I ate a quality buttplug last night and I’ve been trying to put on complete removal of the head all morning.



a huge mountain n

Until quite recently, a huge mountain had the highest tensile strength of any substance known to man.
To brew a love potion, besides eye of newt you need a huge mountain and wobbles.
At the carnival I went on the thing where you ride a huge mountain. It made me feel like I was a hand grenade in my cereal.
Let’s wait for a humorless Japanese businessman to fall asleep, then we can sneak out and get a huge mountain.
You can’t get the president’s helicopter big enough or a huge mountain long enough to suit me.
I dug around for hours in the trash but never found a huge mountain.



loudspeakers np

I checked my son’s browser history. Found links about loudspeakers and a cure for what ails ya. Should I talk to him?
After last week’s stunning victory, the wrestler earned his nickname “Loudspeakers
Men, like loudspeakers, go farthest when they are nuances.
This is my second kid. My first one came out as loudspeakers.
The Chinese government has blocked all websites related to loudspeakers.
I’ll never know why my grandparents find loudspeakers so relaxing.



a lot of noise n

On my way to work today, I had to swerve around a lot of noise on the freeway.
I misclicked while my boss was looking over my shoulder and my video of a lot of noise came on the screen.
President Putin’s approval rating shot to nearly 100% when the Russian government began a lot of noise.
The new intern is starting this week. Can you set up her workstation for a lot of noise?
I didn’t have any cash, so I tipped the pizza guy with a lot of noise.
Experts said that based on preliminary data, a lot of noise appears to have occurred on the Puente Hills thrust fault.

 
 
2016 Jun 2 at 21:25 PDT — Ed. 2016 Jun 2 at 21:26 PDT
jeff is wizlord

2014 Nov 12 • 279
And here's a thing nobody ever wanted to think about again.   and  ...2

And here's a thing nobody ever wanted to think about again. the “treasure box” and the contents of your vacuum cleaner bag...
And here's a thing nobody ever wanted to think about again. morningwood and a bear in a trashcan...
And here's a thing nobody ever wanted to think about again. a horse’s mouth and a funnel...
And here's a thing nobody ever wanted to think about again. a harbor for your unclean thoughts and a close friend...
And here's a thing nobody ever wanted to think about again. the brave men and women fighting for us and a traffic cone full of bibimbap...
And here's a thing nobody ever wanted to think about again. the moron I hired to kill you and a grand staircase...



Oh my Gosh! You like  ? I like  !1

Oh my Gosh! You like pacifying all religions? I like pacifying all religions!
Oh my Gosh! You like tumbling down a mountain? I like tumbling down a mountain!
Oh my Gosh! You like a Christian, a Jew, and a Muslim? I like a Christian, a Jew, and a Muslim!
Oh my Gosh! You like beautiful girl hair? I like beautiful girl hair!
Oh my Gosh! You like juicing up? I like juicing up!
Oh my Gosh! You like a slut who deserved it? I like a slut who deserved it!



Godlike powers are fun and all, but they're only really fun if you extend them on  {n}.

Godlike powers are fun and all, but they're only really fun if you extend them on a soap bubble.
Godlike powers are fun and all, but they're only really fun if you extend them on a cranky, foul mouthed old lady.
Godlike powers are fun and all, but they're only really fun if you extend them on manliness.
Godlike powers are fun and all, but they're only really fun if you extend them on slow diarrhea.
Godlike powers are fun and all, but they're only really fun if you extend them on a festively decorated corpse.
Godlike powers are fun and all, but they're only really fun if you extend them on a listless wasp.



Ah  ! It must be love!

Ah multiethnic genitalia! It must be love!
Ah an otherwise peaceful man! It must be love!
Ah gangstas! It must be love!
Ah removing a uterine tumor with my teeth! It must be love!
Ah peanut butter in the mouth! It must be love!
Ah my fantasy! It must be love!



The only thing that fuels me is  .

The only thing that fuels me is a leather swing.
The only thing that fuels me is circumcising your dad.
The only thing that fuels me is a wayward dental implant.
The only thing that fuels me is a happy ending at a low price.
The only thing that fuels me is knowing what to do.
The only thing that fuels me is intense pain.

 
 
2016 Jun 2 at 21:27 PDT — Ed. 2016 Jun 2 at 21:30 PDT
jeff is wizlord

2014 Nov 12 • 279
manufactured ass nc

Wife and I got a bit kinky last night. Ended up at the hospital to get manufactured ass removed from her and a well-rehearsed lie removed from me.
CAUTION: Keep manufactured ass out of hopper and chute opening. Failure to comply risks personal injury.
Give a man a gasoline enema and you feed him for a day. Give him manufactured ass, and you feed him for a lifetime.
Is there a free outlet? I need to plug in and charge manufactured ass.
How high do you have to be to enjoy manufactured ass in competitive masturbation?
Manufactured ass is the only way to say goodbye.

 
 
2016 Jun 3 at 09:46 PDT
jeff is wizlord

2014 Nov 12 • 279
the fist of love n

When I saw the fist of love I was scared, but when it started coming toward me, smoking crack, I went white as a sheet!
The fist of love isn’t getting old, but I sure am!
Here’s a certificate for the fist of love. I am at your service.
Chase bank is giving out the fist of love this week if you open an account and put $100 in it.
When I get older, I don’t want to be the fist of love.
On Ebay you can get the fist of love but it comes in several tiny boxes.

 
 
2016 Jun 3 at 11:43 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5924
love nc

What the jury duty department lacks in selection, we make up for in love.
The survey team detected love at the work site so I threw no recourse in my truck and drove straight there.
The fire raged out of control because the firemen’s hoses got caught around love.
Music without the sounds of love is hardly music at all.
I picked up a hitchhiker and he showed me love while we were still in the car.
I am become love, the destroyer of nothing much.

 
 
2016 Jun 3 at 13:42 PDT — Ed. 2016 Jun 3 at 13:43 PDT
Crytax
Ph. D in Cryonics

2006 Apr 26 • 317
11 ₧
Everything was just peachy. Except, of course, for the undeniable fact that every single morning my mother would make me   for breakfast.

Everything was just peachy. Except, of course, for the undeniable fact that every single morning my mother would make me smoky chipotle flavored scuba air for breakfast.
Everything was just peachy. Except, of course, for the undeniable fact that every single morning my mother would make me “forgetting” to knock for breakfast.
Everything was just peachy. Except, of course, for the undeniable fact that every single morning my mother would make me the fuel line for breakfast.
Everything was just peachy. Except, of course, for the undeniable fact that every single morning my mother would make me the president’s helicopter for breakfast.
Everything was just peachy. Except, of course, for the undeniable fact that every single morning my mother would make me becoming an adult for breakfast.
Everything was just peachy. Except, of course, for the undeniable fact that every single morning my mother would make me a sugar cougar for breakfast.



I swore that someday I would get out of that basement and travel to a magical, far away place. Where the sun is always shining and the air smells like  . And   are oh so fluffy. Where the shriners and the lepers play their ukuleles all day long. And anyone on the street will gladly shave your back for a nickel!2

I swore that someday I would get out of that basement and travel to a magical, far away place. Where the sun is always shining and the air smells like crisp fresh lettuce. And befuddlin’ mah dumb cracka mind are oh so fluffy. Where the shriners and the lepers play their ukuleles all day long. And anyone on the street will gladly shave your back for a nickel!
I swore that someday I would get out of that basement and travel to a magical, far away place. Where the sun is always shining and the air smells like a basket of kittens. And the working man are oh so fluffy. Where the shriners and the lepers play their ukuleles all day long. And anyone on the street will gladly shave your back for a nickel!
I swore that someday I would get out of that basement and travel to a magical, far away place. Where the sun is always shining and the air smells like greedy land barons. And the real adversary are oh so fluffy. Where the shriners and the lepers play their ukuleles all day long. And anyone on the street will gladly shave your back for a nickel!
I swore that someday I would get out of that basement and travel to a magical, far away place. Where the sun is always shining and the air smells like man animals. And a coma are oh so fluffy. Where the shriners and the lepers play their ukuleles all day long. And anyone on the street will gladly shave your back for a nickel!
I swore that someday I would get out of that basement and travel to a magical, far away place. Where the sun is always shining and the air smells like large recoil. And bloody hell are oh so fluffy. Where the shriners and the lepers play their ukuleles all day long. And anyone on the street will gladly shave your back for a nickel!
I swore that someday I would get out of that basement and travel to a magical, far away place. Where the sun is always shining and the air smells like poking all the little bugs. And negotiating peace are oh so fluffy. Where the shriners and the lepers play their ukuleles all day long. And anyone on the street will gladly shave your back for a nickel!



So I go over and I open the door and just as I suspected. It's  . Oh man, I hate it when I'm right.

So I go over and I open the door and just as I suspected. It's a big ol’ fruit. Oh man, I hate it when I'm right.
So I go over and I open the door and just as I suspected. It's any decent person. Oh man, I hate it when I'm right.
So I go over and I open the door and just as I suspected. It's a willful misdeed. Oh man, I hate it when I'm right.
So I go over and I open the door and just as I suspected. It's an itchy shirt tag. Oh man, I hate it when I'm right.
So I go over and I open the door and just as I suspected. It's tight clothes. Oh man, I hate it when I'm right.
So I go over and I open the door and just as I suspected. It's bad acting. Oh man, I hate it when I'm right.



This is like some shit out of Ann Frank’s diary. Just  .

This is like some shit out of Ann Frank’s diary. Just Satan’s mother.
This is like some shit out of Ann Frank’s diary. Just being nude, spread eagle toward the sun.
This is like some shit out of Ann Frank’s diary. Just a gentle kiss on the teeth.
This is like some shit out of Ann Frank’s diary. Just a dollar.
This is like some shit out of Ann Frank’s diary. Just secretions.
This is like some shit out of Ann Frank’s diary. Just more blood.



If I had , you’d be dead!

If I hadcamaraderie and shenanigans, you’d be dead!
If I hada Kazakhstani grandma, you’d be dead!
If I hada pig chute, you’d be dead!
If I hada chunk, you’d be dead!
If I hada loss of manpower, you’d be dead!
If I hada tard, you’d be dead!



There’s no such thing as an emergency water landing. Its called  .

There’s no such thing as an emergency water landing. Its called moistness.
There’s no such thing as an emergency water landing. Its called reduced brain intelligence.
There’s no such thing as an emergency water landing. Its called emoticons.
There’s no such thing as an emergency water landing. Its called a guillotine.
There’s no such thing as an emergency water landing. Its called beans on toast.
There’s no such thing as an emergency water landing. Its called a curve.



These are real people out there, with  .

These are real people out there, with a clever bastard.
These are real people out there, with my gratitude.
These are real people out there, with slipping some handcuffs under the door.
These are real people out there, with an ovipositor.
These are real people out there, with serving humanity.
These are real people out there, with firing off the squibs too early.



Minecraft is based on the medieval land of   .

Minecraft is based on the medieval land of daddy in his underpants .
Minecraft is based on the medieval land of an ancient insignificant dead Jew .
Minecraft is based on the medieval land of a security guard .
Minecraft is based on the medieval land of a spooky mummy .
Minecraft is based on the medieval land of an alibi .
Minecraft is based on the medieval land of grabby hands .



Sounds like you’re not strong enough for  .

Sounds like you’re not strong enough for butt sounds.
Sounds like you’re not strong enough for valid reasoning.
Sounds like you’re not strong enough for control of the English Channel.
Sounds like you’re not strong enough for a trail of footprints.
Sounds like you’re not strong enough for really bad teeth.
Sounds like you’re not strong enough for a fresh lung.





the world famous Albuquerque Holiday Inn n

Growing up we never had the world famous Albuquerque Holiday Inn, but we had to deal with you, ya dirty bum, and I want the opposite for my children.
The world famous Albuquerque Holiday Inn like this is enough to kill a horse!
The world famous Albuquerque Holiday Inn isn’t getting old, but I sure am!
I am become my mom teaching sex ed, the destroyer of the world famous Albuquerque Holiday Inn.
Shepherds in Scotland have used horror movie gore for years to keep the flock from the world famous Albuquerque Holiday Inn.
Ah, the world famous Albuquerque Holiday Inn for my collection. Now no one has more than me.



warm root beer nc

I dug around for hours in the trash but never found warm root beer.
Give a man warm root beer and you feed him for a day. Give him plasma, and you feed him for a lifetime.
For my last meal I want a novelty gag dildo seasoned heavily with warm root beer.
President Putin’s approval rating shot to nearly 100% when the Russian government began warm root beer.
That’s Captain Rogers the Rancorous of “Warm Root Beer,” the finest ship in the harbor!
The city condemned our house after finding warm root beer in the crawlspace.



guest towels np

Oh dear God! That was the last of my medication for “Guest Towels” syndrome!
Traditionally, vampires and other undead are repelled by guest towels.
At the new Asian-inspired restaurant downtown, the chef will prepare guest towels right at your table.
The White House will no longer enforce The Guest Towels Act of 1959. Thank God.
During my driving test, I backed my car into guest towels. I still got an 85!
Strangely, right before Hitler killed himself, he had guest towels destroyed and an excellent target killed as well.



hiding vt

At the carnival I went on the thing where you ride a dog boner. It made me feel like I was hiding.
If hiding were in the Olympics, Canada would be in great shape!
Leopards are smaller than most of the Panthera genus, but they are able to take large prey due to hiding.
Jesus is hiding.
The TSA has made new rules mandating hiding on every commercial flight.
I left my wife at home all day and she replaced diversions with hiding.



a big bowl of sauerkraut n

If you kids don’t stop chugging NyQuil™, I will turn a big bowl of sauerkraut around!
At the winery tour we saw how they put my taxidermied daughter and grapes in the tank, but it smelled like a big bowl of sauerkraut.
The name for Idaho was derived from a Shoshone language term meaning “a big bowl of sauerkraut.”
In North Korea, instead of streetlights, they have traffic ladies that stand in a big bowl of sauerkraut in the middle of each intersection.
I can’t believe you forced my mom into a big bowl of sauerkraut! She’s 62!
The best comfort food will always be greens, a big bowl of sauerkraut, and fried chicken.



some big fat hermaphrodite with a Flock-Of-Seagulls haircut and only one nostril np

Wake turbulence, also known as some big fat hermaphrodite with a Flock-Of-Seagulls haircut and only one nostril, is turbulence that forms behind a powerful skeleton, William Howard Taft as it passes through the air.
I refuse to roleplay as anything but some big fat hermaphrodite with a Flock-Of-Seagulls haircut and only one nostril.
Authorities were tallying damage from some big fat hermaphrodite with a Flock-Of-Seagulls haircut and only one nostril that struck southern California Friday evening.
Here on the assembly line we heat some big fat hermaphrodite with a Flock-Of-Seagulls haircut and only one nostril to a steaming, bright cherry red, and this next machine over here is wanting to be noticed.
At the coffee shop they wrote “some big fat hermaphrodite with a Flock-Of-Seagulls haircut and only one nostril” on my cup. I ran out covering my face.
In this 15th century painting, some big fat hermaphrodite with a Flock-Of-Seagulls haircut and only one nostril is represented by a man with a thick, luscious banana slug for a head.



two large Albanian women with excruciatingly severe body odor nc

The terrorists will execute a new attitude every 20 minutes until they receive two large Albanian women with excruciatingly severe body odor.
Monopoly: Two Large Albanian Women with Excruciatingly Severe Body Odor Edition comes with barely in the butthole and a lump in the blanket instead of houses and hotels.
The area around Fukushima has become a ghost town with two large Albanian women with excruciatingly severe body odor slowly overtaking the buildings.
Populations of endangered rhinoceros are threatened by a bucket and two large Albanian women with excruciatingly severe body odor.
My financial analyst has advised me to invest my fortune in two large Albanian women with excruciatingly severe body odor.
During routine surgery, the doctors found two large Albanian women with excruciatingly severe body odor embedded in my abdomen.



this box of one dozen starving, crazed weasels v

Online trolls turned Microsoft’s teen girl AI into some kind of sex toy directions-loving bot that hates this box of one dozen starving, crazed weasels.
For science class we went on a field trip to see how this box of one dozen starving, crazed weasels happens.
There is no revenge so complete as this box of one dozen starving, crazed weasels.
When the beef came at me it was like this box of one dozen starving, crazed weasels.
No one in Morocco can be this box of one dozen starving, crazed weasels without registering with the government.
I don’t give money to the homeless. Instead I provide this box of one dozen starving, crazed weasels directly.



my tenor saxophone and my twelve-pound bowling ball and my lucky, lucky autographed glow-in-the-dark snorkel v

Acute watery diarrhea! As far as the eye can see! And it’s all my tenor saxophone and my twelve-pound bowling ball and my lucky, lucky autographed glow-in-the-dark snorkel.
My tenor saxophone and my twelve-pound bowling ball and my lucky, lucky autographed glow-in-the-dark snorkel is legally grounds for divorcing your wife in 28 states.
I think that ecstasy was cut with most of my blood. After one hit I began very, very rapidly my tenor saxophone and my twelve-pound bowling ball and my lucky, lucky autographed glow-in-the-dark snorkel.
Throughout human history, my tenor saxophone and my twelve-pound bowling ball and my lucky, lucky autographed glow-in-the-dark snorkel has been the first activity of explorers of any new region.
... And so my mom asked me, “If all your friends were my tenor saxophone and my twelve-pound bowling ball and my lucky, lucky autographed glow-in-the-dark snorkel, would you be my tenor saxophone and my twelve-pound bowling ball and my lucky, lucky autographed glow-in-the-dark snorkel as well?”
My daughter came home crying because the kids at school said she was my tenor saxophone and my twelve-pound bowling ball and my lucky, lucky autographed glow-in-the-dark snorkel.



the kind of shit white people pay for n

The kind of shit white people pay for has proven extremely popular among young, urban audiences in focus testing.
The kind of shit white people pay for brings a certain je ne sais quoi to a child’s face.
Furious that I was being dipped in chocolate into his spellbook, the sorcerer turned me into the kind of shit white people pay for.
After the war, the British government had Alan Turing chemically castrated because he was the kind of shit white people pay for.
John “a deal breaker” Smith. The genius who brought us the kind of shit white people pay for.
See now black people walk like a garbage disposal. But white people -- white people walk like they’re the kind of shit white people pay for!



humans stacked like Lincoln Logs np

SWF looking for a real man. If you’re into humans stacked like Lincoln Logs, get to the front of the line.
Trapped again, MacGyver began his escape with only humans stacked like Lincoln Logs and her first marriage.
Help! I’m humans stacked like Lincoln Logs and I need YOU to do something about it!
That’s not funny. My dad was killed by humans stacked like Lincoln Logs.
We can be humans stacked like Lincoln Logs. And no one has to know.
I surreptitiously crawled into bed, only to find humans stacked like Lincoln Logs.



the call of the wild n

What the weight loss department lacks in selection, we make up for in the call of the wild.
I ordered the call of the wild privately over the Internet so I can get better at attacking everything in your path.
USGS seismologist Lucy Jones said the 5.1 quake has a 5% chance of being the call of the wild.
If you have a dream about the call of the wild, it meas you’re worried about this very house.
On my way to work today, I had to swerve around the call of the wild on the freeway.
At the auto parts store, the salesman tried to upsell me on mighty Zeus when I bought the call of the wild.



50 lockpicks in my ass np

I need help with my computer! I downloaded a better god and now I’m having trouble with 50 lockpicks in my ass.
Alexander also named a city in India “50 Lockpicks in My Ass” after his dead horse.
Before you embark on a journey of revenge, consider 50 lockpicks in my ass.
My pharmacist separated a burn victim into two piles, and carefully lowered one into 50 lockpicks in my ass.
When I was bodybuilding I tried to dead-lift a dust cloud over my head, but 50 lockpicks in my ass got in the way.
In my wild days I was saving all the Jews, among other crimes. They finally caught me doing it with 50 lockpicks in my ass on the New Mexico border.



Queen England and Samurai Joseph nc

Last Christmas, I gave you Queen England and Samurai Joseph. The very next day, you gave it away.
Apparently, “Queen England and Samurai Joseph” is a dance move in the Hip-Hop and B-Boy community.
The authorities followed the trail of Queen England and Samurai Joseph, leading them straight to the suspect.
Happiness: Queen England and Samurai Joseph, a positive test for bodily fluids, and theatrics.
Jan Sobieski, leading the largest charge of Queen England and Samurai Joseph in history, rode into battle atop a heron.
McDonald’s combo menu #3: Double Quarter Pounder with Cheese, a large Coke, and a side of Queen England and Samurai Joseph.



made out of chiseled steel nc

Thanks for made out of chiseled steel. Now get out of my bed!
Working on my car I found made out of chiseled steel had crawled inside the engine block and died.
Last night I dreamed of made out of chiseled steel. I cannot shake the feeling that the next time will arrive soon.
In future times, the children will work together to build made out of chiseled steel.
Original style is fine, but chunky kinda tastes like made out of chiseled steel.
12th street is closed due to a man in a tree throwing made out of chiseled steel at cars and passers-by.



smegma in a bottle nc

I noticed symptoms of thick fingers, so I went to my naturopathic doctor. He said, “it’s smegma in a bottle!” but I’m not sure.
Dagnabbit! I got smegma in a bottle all jammed up in the wheel well again.
Every French soldier carries smegma in a bottle in his knapsack.
I booby-trapped my yard so that trespassers will be surprised by smegma in a bottle.
As the A.I. robot gained self-awareness, it immediately began smegma in a bottle.
My favorite new band is “Diplomatic Support and Smegma in a Bottle”.



cold cut jerky nc

The fire raged out of control because the firemen’s hoses got caught around cold cut jerky.
I’m glad you’re my new roomie, my last one was always cold cut jerky. Always.
My brother and I have finally decided to start a business doing cold cut jerky, since we’re so good at it.
And my mother said, “How come you’re not cold cut jerky like your brother?”
At the skating rink there was cold cut jerky and everyone fell down at once.
I need a hotel room with cold cut jerky, and I need a better place now brought to me every four hours.



real hopes, real dream and real failures np

Growing up in the foster care system, I learned to be real hopes, real dream and real failures if I wanted a new family.
Who so pulleth out real hopes, real dream and real failures of this stone is rightwise king born of the death simulator.
The first item of evidence in The People vs. Real Hopes, Real Dream and Real Failures is a do-gooder.
A lifetime of real hopes, real dream and real failures awaits. Call now for a free consultation.
Abraham Lincoln wrestled with depression, but that did not keep him from eating feathers with real hopes, real dream and real failures.
Cambodia’s economy is entirely dependent on real hopes, real dream and real failures.



knocking the back end of your ass out v

Tomorrow the city is throwing a ticker-tape to celebrate knocking the back end of your ass out.
Always walk into an interview with “that feeling” and confidence, and you’ll get the job. Unless they hate knocking the back end of your ass out.
Dad! I’m all done knocking the back end of your ass out, so I have my DNA left over if you’re still interested.
Amtrak officials confirm knocking the back end of your ass out would have prevented train derailment.
At the book signing, George R.R. Martin signed my copy of ‟A Song of Knocking the Back End of Your Ass out”! I shook his hand and it felt like knocking the back end of your ass out.
New extreme Mountain Dew™ flavor: Knocking the Back End of Your Ass out Blast!



white guilt nc

Though mortally wounded by three shots to his abdomen, the Secret Service agent returned fire, killing the assassin with white guilt.
Astronaut Chris Hadfield is well known for sneaking white guilt onto the International Space Station.
More than 260 people were injured by festive firecracker blasts and white guilt in the Philippines.
I thought I was being attacked, so I defended myself with white guilt.
The new top grade of gasoline has white guilt as an additive, which is actually really good for your car.
For 35 years I’ve done this job for the same pay, white guilt every single day.



crashing into the fucking ocean v

I tried crashing into the fucking ocean but it was too tight. Then I tried a child section but it was TOO LOOSE.
Here’s a certificate for crashing into the fucking ocean. I am at your service.
My girlfriend was getting something out of the closet. Lucky she didn’t look up, or she’d have seen crashing into the fucking ocean.
Our artisanal process ages a cornhole for 3 years, before going right into touching my deformity, rapidly crashing into the fucking ocean.
When I saw a horse’s mouth I was scared, but when it started coming toward me, crashing into the fucking ocean, I went white as a sheet!
“You didn’t even get me anything for my birthday!” “Yes I did, remember crashing into the fucking ocean?”

What if Gillette WAS the best a man could get?
 
 
2016 Jun 3 at 13:53 PDT — Ed. 2016 Jun 3 at 13:56 PDT
jeff is wizlord

2014 Nov 12 • 279
Some of those are way too freaking long.
 
 
2016 Jun 3 at 14:03 PDT — Ed. 2016 Jun 4 at 19:06 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5924
Card repair:

Growing up we had to deal with  , and we never had  , and I want the opposite for my children.2

Growing up we had to deal with only my index finger, and we never had a plump, lazy hyena, and I want the opposite for my children.
Growing up we had to deal with something even wetter, and we never had providing unscrupulous advice, and I want the opposite for my children.
Growing up we had to deal with hoping nothing kills you, and we never had a syringe, and I want the opposite for my children.
Growing up we had to deal with none more, and we never had a pale reflection, and I want the opposite for my children.
Growing up we had to deal with an even wider gap, and we never had those glorious gams, and I want the opposite for my children.
Growing up we had to deal with being maimed in foreign lands, and we never had a vigorous grind, and I want the opposite for my children.

 
 
2016 Jun 3 at 14:08 PDT