SuperJer Against Humanity Suggestions PART 2

SuperJer Against Humanity Suggestions PART 2

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Crytax
Ph. D in Cryonics

2006 Apr 26 • 304
11 ₧
The sensation of having the back of your neck licked
n

Peter Molyneux’s new game will use facial recognition to explore the sensation of having the back of your neck licked in a very realistic way.
Daddy! There’s the sensation of having the back of your neck licked under my bed. Kill it kill it!
A woman is like a teabag. You can’t tell how strong she is until you put her in the sensation of having the back of your neck licked.
Gather round, family, it’s time to hang the sensation of having the back of your neck licked on the Christmas tree.
I heard you were talking about the sensation of having the back of your neck licked so I had to come over!
That kind of attitude is why we have the sensation of having the back of your neck licked now.

What if Gillette WAS the best a man could get?
 
 
Jun 2 at 13:12 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5912
New report finds no evidence that having sex with robots leads to  .

New report finds no evidence that having sex with robots leads to an accident.
New report finds no evidence that having sex with robots leads to Martha Stewart, orgasming.
New report finds no evidence that having sex with robots leads to my last tooth.
New report finds no evidence that having sex with robots leads to every part of the buffalo.
New report finds no evidence that having sex with robots leads to a lucky toss.
New report finds no evidence that having sex with robots leads to the elevator shaft.

 
 
Jun 5 at 07:40 PDT
Crytax
Ph. D in Cryonics

2006 Apr 26 • 304
11 ₧
A Japanese girl in need of a Viking funeral
n

At the mall Santa kiosk, the elves were caught sneaking a Japanese girl in need of a Viking funeral into women’s purses and bags.
I never expected to be fingered by a Japanese girl in need of a Viking funeral.
What separates the winners from the losers is how a person reacts to a Japanese girl in need of a Viking funeral.
I wanted to freak out my girlfriend so I got a Japanese girl in need of a Viking funeral out of the fridge and squeezed it onto my pie slice. Ha ha!
I will do anything for a Japanese girl in need of a Viking funeral. But I won’t do that!
I’ve finally got the last of a succulent jumbo prawn out of a Japanese girl in need of a Viking funeral.

What if Gillette WAS the best a man could get?
 
 
Jun 6 at 21:51 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5912
Crytax that's weird.
 
 
Jun 13 at 14:33 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5912
The loss of  {n} has been devastating to the children of this town.

The loss of a fistful of hair has been devastating to the children of this town.
The loss of the pelvis has been devastating to the children of this town.
The loss of my hot girlfriend has been devastating to the children of this town.
The loss of a flea has been devastating to the children of this town.
The loss of a vibrator with a voice has been devastating to the children of this town.
The loss of a pig on top has been devastating to the children of this town.

 
 
Jun 13 at 14:34 PDT — Ed. Jun 13 at 14:38 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5912
The full name of Los Angeles: El Pueblo de  {UT} de los Ángeles del Río  {UT}
Play 2

The full name of Los Angeles: El Pueblo de A Joke from the Internet de los Ángeles del Río A Drop of Blood
The full name of Los Angeles: El Pueblo de Questions. Ceaseless Questions de los Ángeles del Río Some Dead Guy’s Money
The full name of Los Angeles: El Pueblo de Being Asleep, Not Dead de los Ángeles del Río Getting HUGE
The full name of Los Angeles: El Pueblo de A Deathbed de los Ángeles del Río Bitches on the Love Throne
The full name of Los Angeles: El Pueblo de Anally Consuming a Walnut de los Ángeles del Río The Bad Cop
The full name of Los Angeles: El Pueblo de Falling in Love with a White Girl de los Ángeles del Río A Gut

 
 
Jun 13 at 14:35 PDT — Ed. Jun 13 at 14:38 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5912
Me? Or your lyin' eyes
np

Me? Or your lyin' eyes! Me? Or your lyin' eyes! My kingdom for me? Or your lyin' eyes!
I need help with my computer! I downloaded a wild animal and now I’m having trouble with me? Or your lyin' eyes.
Senator, give us me? Or your lyin' eyes biannually and you’ll get our vote.
I’m getting me? Or your lyin' eyes installed in my car, so I can be a macabre mixture of milk and blood shooting out of every orifice while I drive.
Traditionally, vampires and other undead are repelled by me? Or your lyin' eyes.
I think a lot of people would pay to see me? Or your lyin' eyes.



Me?
n

Always hold on to me? to remember me.
I Googled for me? and found a picture of myself.
Me? really messes up my butt complexion!
My dream house has the tickle zone built in, an extra garage for me?, and a leak for the door bell.
Me?: It’s nature’s candy!
Men, like me?, go farthest when they are a fridge full of heads.



The intelligence level of Wile E. Coyote
n

Look, man, I’m not into the intelligence level of Wile E. Coyote. But $20 is $20.
Don’t look at me while I’m the intelligence level of Wile E. Coyote! It messes me up!
The intelligence level of Wile E. Coyote is slightly prolapsed right now because I was just hiding the pain. Sorry.
The intelligence level of Wile E. Coyote is legally grounds for divorcing your wife in 28 states.
The Japanese insist on their traditional right to hunt the intelligence level of Wile E. Coyote in the sea.
Opinions are like the intelligence level of Wile E. Coyote. Everybody’s got one and they all stink.

 
 
Jun 13 at 15:45 PDT — Ed. Jun 13 at 15:49 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5912
Getting wet
v

I can’t believe you forced my mom into getting wet! She’s 62!
IBM’s new “green” office building gets 20% of its power from getting wet, and the eco-glass windows trap in a fridge full of heads.
There’s a backdoor woman convention going on and everybody is getting wet.
Designed as a feature meant to enhance pleasure, the sex toy will robotically call out “getting wet,” over and over again while in use.
I can’t believe you guys went getting wet without me! Loop me in next time, I want most of my blood too!
For 35 years I’ve done this job for the same pay, getting wet every single day.

 
 
Jun 13 at 16:35 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5912
An utterly filthy butt crack
n

I buried my treasure under an utterly filthy butt crack so you’d never find it!
I’m undergoing immersion therapy by continually exposing myself to an utterly filthy butt crack.
At the auto parts store, the salesman tried to upsell me on an utterly filthy butt crack when I bought a crazed Eskimo.
I’ve finally got the last of an utterly filthy butt crack out of gurgling tar pits.
The new intern is starting this week. Can you set up her workstation for an utterly filthy butt crack?
The good news is that I was only barfing because I ate an utterly filthy butt crack.

 
 
Jun 14 at 12:33 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5912
Unlocking my piss chakra
v

Are you there God? It’s me, unlocking my piss chakra.
I scream, you scream, the reason this happened, unlocking my piss chakra!
The new intern is starting this week. Can you set up her workstation for unlocking my piss chakra?
I’m gonna prove the link between unlocking my piss chakra and Walt Disney’s preserved ass cheeks! You’ll all see!
Unlocking my piss chakra nearly killed me in my dream. I think it’s my brain telling me to avoid a big surprise.
My dream house has a real jerk-off built in, an extra garage for unlocking my piss chakra, and the killing of educated adults for the door bell.

 
 
Jun 14 at 12:35 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5912
Nodding sadly
v

I can’t believe it, Jason! I’ve been gone for 24 hours and you’re still nodding sadly!
Nodding sadly is the spice of a falling chimney.
If mom hears us talking about nodding sadly we’ll be SO grounded!
Peter Molyneux’s new game will use facial recognition to explore nodding sadly in a very realistic way.
James Bond will return in “The Man With nodding sadly”!
Let a certain je ne sais quoi host your next party, providing nodding sadly like you’ve never experienced before.



The prosecution
n

In Brea several people suffered minor injuries during the prosecution that overturned their car.
Vote for me and I’ll stop doing your best and trying your hardest, get rid of us black folk, and give everyone the prosecution for free.
The prosecution saved is the prosecution earned.
My dad’s keyboard has a special key for the prosecution.
Opioids help people with the prosecution, but then they cant poop.
I actually clicked page 2 on Google cuz I was so desperate searching for the prosecution.

 
 
Jun 16 at 10:09 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5912
Being so creamy
v

The HOA says I can’t raise machine guns on my property. Meanwhile no word about being so creamy at the Jones’s!
Alexander also named a city in India “Being so Creamy” after his dead horse.
Life is so strange. I went to college to learn searching his ass, but now for work I’m being so creamy. Go figure!
That kind of attitude is why we have being so creamy now.
Designed as a feature meant to enhance pleasure, the sex toy will robotically call out “being so creamy,” over and over again while in use.
For 35 years I’ve done this job for the same pay, being so creamy every single day.

 
 
Jun 16 at 10:12 PDT — Ed. Jun 16 at 10:15 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5912
The creamiest
n

At work I secretly have the creamiest under my desk.
I Googled for the creamiest and found a picture of myself.
But of the tree of the creamiest you shall not eat, for in the day you eat of it you shall surely die.
Work the creamiest up until frothing before spreading across mood enhancing hormones, then pop it in the oven for 20 minutes.
I could tell a virus had ended up behind me when I felt the creamiest as I backed up.
Little girls are made of sugar, spice, and the creamiest.

 
 
Jun 16 at 10:16 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5912
Getting milked
v

Ever since markings on my neck appeared in the neighborhood, I’ve felt uncomfortable while getting milked.
What the mercy killing department lacks in selection, we make up for in getting milked.
I can’t believe you forced my mom into getting milked! She’s 62!
I’ve got a master’s degree in Getting Milked!
When I saw slow diarrhea I was nervous, but when it started coming toward me, getting milked, I freaked!
My wife is WAY better at getting milked than me! How have I kept her happy for all these years

 
 
Jun 16 at 10:17 PDT
Crytax
Ph. D in Cryonics

2006 Apr 26 • 304
11 ₧
Her butthole areola, or whatever it's called
nc

Astronaut Chris Hadfield is well known for sneaking her butthole areola, or whatever it's called onto the International Space Station.
Traditionally, vampires and other undead are repelled by her butthole areola, or whatever it's called.
People in Taiwan are getting her butthole areola, or whatever it's called implanted in their bodies for receiving a lot of money.
The city put in new road signs to indicate her butthole areola, or whatever it's called just up ahead.
Daddy! There’s her butthole areola, or whatever it's called under my bed. Kill it kill it!
For Farm Day at my school we had a haystack to search through and find her butthole areola, or whatever it's called, turkey tacos and mom.

What if Gillette WAS the best a man could get?
 
 
Jun 16 at 16:20 PDT — Ed. Jun 16 at 16:26 PDT
Crytax
Ph. D in Cryonics

2006 Apr 26 • 304
11 ₧
Well butter   and call me  !
Play 2

Well butter a 57-foot-diameter tunnel boring machine and call me the instructions!
Well butter dicking around and call me Satan’s dark little snatch!
Well butter a dream and call me spiders laying eggs in my butt!
Well butter the bad cop and call me instant death!
Well butter ass and call me blowing chunks!
Well butter waiting to kill and call me getting too excited!

What if Gillette WAS the best a man could get?
 
 
Jun 16 at 16:22 PDT — Ed. Jun 16 at 16:23 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5912
Blubber
nc

When the research team activated the interdimensional portal, blubber emerged.
A woman is like a teabag. You can’t tell how strong she is until you put her in blubber.
On the assembly line we heat blubber to a steaming, bright cherry red. And this next machine over here is putting up with you.
Pundits agree it will take blubber for the senator to win the election.
Peter Molyneux’s new game will use facial recognition to explore blubber in a very realistic way.
When you two are done being attacked by a skeleton, can we please get blubber and get out of here?!



Floss
nc

Sir! We are out of floss, but we found a mountain of jew gold while on patrol. Shall we ration it to the men?
I actually clicked page 2 on Google cuz I was so desperate searching for floss.
Crews are working hard after Bertha, the tunnel-boring machine ran into floss and stopped.
Military scientists in Syria found traces of floss in the soil.
Back in my day, we only had a refreshing douche of Sprite® for floss and we LIKED IT.
This is my second kid. My first one came out as floss.

 
 
Jun 18 at 09:03 PDT — Ed. Jun 18 at 11:38 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5912
Gasoline-soaked rags
np

Some anarchist made the sign over the expressway say “THE STATE IS GASOLINE-SOAKED RAGS WAITING TO KILL.”
The 7 deadly sins: lust, gluttony, gasoline-soaked rags, sloth, wrath, a big surprise, and pride.
The weird payment system at the grocery store makes me put gasoline-soaked rags in the slot, but I forget to take it out.
If you do it right, gasoline-soaked rags is all about solving a problem.
My usual at Starbucks: Double Caramel Venti Two-country-bumpkins-iatto with whip, sprinkles, and gasoline-soaked rags.
My sisters were having a pillow fight. They didn’t know I had put gasoline-soaked rags in the pillows.

 
 
Jun 18 at 14:19 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5912
The world rests atop four elephants, and under that it's  {p} all the way down.

The world rests atop four elephants, and under that it's baby eels all the way down.
The world rests atop four elephants, and under that it's balls caught in the car window all the way down.
The world rests atop four elephants, and under that it's hugs and kisses all the way down.
The world rests atop four elephants, and under that it's leopard print top hats all the way down.
The world rests atop four elephants, and under that it's lips all the way down.
The world rests atop four elephants, and under that it's cooties all the way down.

 
 
Jun 18 at 14:21 PDT — Ed. Jun 18 at 14:21 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5912
The drain wasn't draining because there was  {s} caught in it.

The drain wasn't draining because there was an earthworm caught in it.
The drain wasn't draining because there was a big, heavy shotgun caught in it.
The drain wasn't draining because there was a hollow shell caught in it.
The drain wasn't draining because there was a rocket with a mouse strapped on caught in it.
The drain wasn't draining because there was the stillness of death caught in it.
The drain wasn't draining because there was a promise caught in it.



An elephant
n

Howdy neighbor, love a hanging body! Let’s get an elephant sometime!
The way to the lost city was perilous, and we soon found ourselves knee deep in an elephant.
Furious that I was running with a floppy, out-of-control hand into his spellbook, the sorcerer turned me into an elephant.
I’m NOT upgrading to the new iPhone now that Apple has announced it will have an elephant.
While I was out the Roomba got into an elephant and was taking it hard.
I’m terrible at goodbyes, but not as terrible as an elephant.

 
 
Jun 19 at 15:35 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5912
I won hide-and-seek by hiding under  {n}.

I won hide-and-seek by hiding under Satan’s dark little snatch.
I won hide-and-seek by hiding under nothingness.
I won hide-and-seek by hiding under a fatal bee sting on the anus.
I won hide-and-seek by hiding under $200 worth of Taco Bell™.
I won hide-and-seek by hiding under the sun.
I won hide-and-seek by hiding under Jesus’s death.

 
 
Jun 19 at 15:37 PDT — Ed. Jun 19 at 15:37 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5912
An aperture opens at the front of the camera and  {n} streams in through the lens.

An aperture opens at the front of the camera and some kids streams in through the lens.
An aperture opens at the front of the camera and the last breath of a dying man streams in through the lens.
An aperture opens at the front of the camera and live wires hanging from the ceiling streams in through the lens.
An aperture opens at the front of the camera and an exploitative sex tape streams in through the lens.
An aperture opens at the front of the camera and a dog boner streams in through the lens.
An aperture opens at the front of the camera and that sex move that drives me crazy streams in through the lens.

 
 
Jun 19 at 15:38 PDT — Ed. Jun 19 at 15:54 PDT
Crytax
Ph. D in Cryonics

2006 Apr 26 • 304
11 ₧
A pneumatic bidet
n

In scouts we built a huge catapult to launch a pneumatic bidet at the girls camp.
More than 260 people were injured by festive firecracker blasts and a pneumatic bidet in the Philippines.
Cosmetic surgeons hate this! A pneumatic bidet can increase your breast size in three weeks!
A-Pneumatic-Bidet-a-Roni: the San Francisco treat!
At the book signing, George R.R. Martin signed my copy of ‟A Song of a Pneumatic Bidet”! I shook his hand and it felt like a pneumatic bidet.
A billboard on my way home had a picture of a pneumatic bidet and the words “vibrating my pineal gland”. I don’t get it!

What if Gillette WAS the best a man could get?
 
 
Jun 20 at 22:18 PDT
phoenix_r

2009 May 13 • 896
17 ₧
A  {n} worth commenting on.

A the princess’s saliva worth commenting on.
A a bunch of vulvas in my face worth commenting on.
A black market lungs worth commenting on.
A baseless hatred worth commenting on.
A a crouton worth commenting on.
A what the dog ate worth commenting on.

BOO
 
 
Jun 21 at 19:00 PDT — Ed. Jun 21 at 19:00 PDT
Crytax
Ph. D in Cryonics

2006 Apr 26 • 304
11 ₧
Delicious chocolate and broken Dreamcasts
np

These special lenses help colorblind people see that delicious chocolate and broken Dreamcasts is shitting all over me.
Always walk into an interview with some mysterious jelly and confidence, and you’ll get the job. Unless they hate delicious chocolate and broken Dreamcasts.
If you kids don’t stop choking bitches, I will turn delicious chocolate and broken Dreamcasts around!
The Japanese insist on their traditional right to hunt delicious chocolate and broken Dreamcasts in the sea.
I’ve been chopping down Angelina Jolie’s lips to build delicious chocolate and broken Dreamcasts for me and my wife.
My religion demands that I must abstain from delicious chocolate and broken Dreamcasts. A boyfriend shaped bed however, is OK.

What if Gillette WAS the best a man could get?
 
 
Jun 23 at 16:43 PDT