SuperJer Against Humanity Suggestions PART 2

SuperJer Against Humanity Suggestions PART 2

General — Page 1 2 3 ... 40 41 42 [43] 44 45 46 ... 96 97 98
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5752
Deep Earth miners in Venezuela struck an enormous ore vein of  {pc}. Half the country is  {v}.2

Deep Earth miners in Venezuela struck an enormous ore vein of apocalyptic machinery, just mowing us all down. Half the country is getting on top, and staying on top.
Deep Earth miners in Venezuela struck an enormous ore vein of creatures. Half the country is neglecting a spike.
Deep Earth miners in Venezuela struck an enormous ore vein of sabotage. Half the country is running for presidency.
Deep Earth miners in Venezuela struck an enormous ore vein of secretions. Half the country is taking a flying leap.
Deep Earth miners in Venezuela struck an enormous ore vein of grunting mermaids. Half the country is drinking wine in the tub all day.
Deep Earth miners in Venezuela struck an enormous ore vein of circular logic. Half the country is stepping over me.

 
 
2016 Oct 27 at 21:35 PDT — Ed. 2016 Oct 27 at 21:40 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5752
nothing, initially nc

Squad, circle up. It’s time to talk nothing, initially.
Factory workers at Foxconn who leap out of windows will now be saved by nothing, initially around the building.
Ever since I got back from Mexico I’ve been really into nothing, initially.
Kirkland mom makes $20,000 a week with nothing, initially.
But of the tree of knowledge of nothing, initially and a listless wasp you shall not eat, for in the day you eat of it you shall surely die.
Here on the assembly line we heat nothing, initially to a steaming, bright cherry red, and this next machine over here is throwing up in an autistic woman’s lap.



the old guy n

Alien cover-ups, false flag operations, and military experiments with the old guy! It’s all here in my manifesto!
My favorite new band is “A Leaf Blower and the Old Guy”.
Wife and I got a bit kinky last night. Ended up at the hospital to get my syndrome removed from her and the old guy removed from me.
To brew a love potion, besides eye of newt you need a little spurt and the old guy.
I love your necklace! It’s the old guy, right?
On my wedding night my father told me, “Don’t go chasing the old guy.”



all the doors np

Give a man all the doors and you feed him for a day. Give him a refreshing douche of Sprite, and you feed him for a lifetime.
I refuse to roleplay as anything but all the doors.
When the stadium was demolished it ejected all the doors, which hung in the air for days.
I chipped my tooth on my first time. My dentist said I’m lucky it wasn’t all the doors.
There is a rumor that Marilyn Manson had all the doors removed so he could be my mouth.
This one simple trick is all you need to spice up the bedroom: all the doors.



enough food, eventually nc

I met a strange lady, she made me nervous. She took me in and gave me enough food, eventually.
J. Robert Oppenheimer is often called the father of enough food, eventually.
Ha! You activated my trap card, “Enough Food, Eventually!” You’re cursed with my alter ego until the end of the game!
Ah, enough food, eventually for my collection. Now no one has more than me.
Growing up in the foster care system, I learned to be enough food, eventually if I wanted a new family.
Science never solves a problem without creating enough food, eventually.

 
 
2016 Oct 27 at 21:45 PDT — Ed. 2016 Oct 27 at 21:57 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5752
your sisters np

How embarrassing! I forget I left your sisters in the foyer.
Their rising all at once was as the sound of your sisters heard remote.
Her inheritance was squandered upon your sisters while Cinderella was abused and forced to become a mirror that lies in her own home.
“You didn’t even get me anything for my birthday!” “Yes I did, remember your sisters?”
I got into my car and sat on your sisters. Slowly, a smile crept over my face.
I don’t give money to the homeless. Instead I provide your sisters directly.



Don't leave the door open!  {n} will get in.

Don't leave the door open! an empty Tic Tac® box will get in.
Don't leave the door open! the moron I hired to kill you will get in.
Don't leave the door open! the mastermind will get in.
Don't leave the door open! a Swiss murder suit will get in.
Don't leave the door open! a strange candy that makes you gay will get in.
Don't leave the door open! three carrots will get in.

 
 
2016 Oct 27 at 22:04 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5752
walking around like nothing's happening v

No one in Morocco can be walking around like nothing's happening without registering with the government.
I surreptitiously crawled into bed, only to find walking around like nothing's happening.
The new Harley-Davidson hog’s got a snack attack painted on both sides, which some say encourages walking around like nothing's happening.
That’s not funny. My dad was killed by walking around like nothing's happening.
If you do it right, a state trooper is all about walking around like nothing's happening.
Walking around like nothing's happening has proven extremely popular among young, urban audiences in focus testing.



the planet Mars n

Always makes me hungry when I see the butcher shop with the planet Mars hanging in the window.
I can’t believe you guys went handcuffing a four-year-old without me! Loop me in next time, I want the planet Mars too!
At the auto parts store, the salesman tried to upsell me on snotbrains when I bought the planet Mars.
Researchers have trained chimps to recognise the planet Mars by rewarding them with hog dander.
The first item of evidence in The People vs. The Planet Mars is Mr. President.
Working on my car I found the planet Mars had crawled inside the engine block and died.



 {Un} can only be killed by  .2

Balls caught in the car window can only be killed by hand-to-hand combat.
Mammaries can only be killed by hula hoops.
A cataclysmic magic spell can only be killed by that jackass.
The taxpayers can only be killed by subordinated masculinity.
A berserk horse can only be killed by distended tubes.
Grape flavor can only be killed by learning an important lesson.

 
 
2016 Oct 27 at 22:22 PDT — Ed. 2016 Oct 27 at 22:24 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5752
When  {n} hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that's amore!

When a coming horrific hell hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that's amore!
When the sloppy, spiritless sex at the end of the orgy hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that's amore!
When a sassy male news reporter hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that's amore!
When concerning news hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that's amore!
When evil thinking hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that's amore!
When a certain je ne sais quoi hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that's amore!

 
 
2016 Oct 27 at 22:25 PDT — Ed. 2016 Oct 27 at 22:27 PDT
aaronjer
*****'n Admin

Comrade General 5-Star
2005 Mar 21 • 4599
1,227 ₧
sexy kitty time nc

Hark! What sexy kitty time through yonder window breaks?
USGS seismologist Lucy Jones said the 5.1 quake has a 5% chance of being sexy kitty time.
Populations of endangered rhinoceros are threatened by a new Wes Anderson movie and sexy kitty time.
It has been prophesied that the young king will eventually be killed by sexy kitty time.
The way to the lost city was perilous, and we soon found ourselves knee deep in sexy kitty time.
“You didn’t even get me anything for my birthday!” “Yes I did, remember sexy kitty time?”

 
 
2016 Oct 27 at 23:26 PDT
aaronjer
*****'n Admin

Comrade General 5-Star
2005 Mar 21 • 4599
1,227 ₧
absolutely no black people nc

“You didn’t even get me anything for my birthday!” “Yes I did, remember absolutely no black people?”
The Japanese insist on their traditional right to hunt absolutely no black people in the sea.
Apparently, “Absolutely No Black People” is a dance move in the Hip-Hop and B-Boy community.
My house. 8 o’clock. Absolutely no black people.
Shepherds in Scotland have used moistness for years to keep the flock from absolutely no black people.
Kirkland mom makes $20,000 a week with absolutely no black people.

 
 
2016 Oct 27 at 23:33 PDT — Ed. 2016 Oct 27 at 23:33 PDT
aaronjer
*****'n Admin

Comrade General 5-Star
2005 Mar 21 • 4599
1,227 ₧
getting it on v

Squad, circle up. It’s time to talk getting it on.
Here’s a certificate for getting it on. I am at your service.
I don’t give money to the homeless. Instead I provide getting it on directly.
See now black people walk like a snake pit. But white people -- white people walk like they’re getting it on!
Ich bin ein getting it on.
Original style is fine, but chunky kinda tastes like getting it on.

 
 
2016 Oct 27 at 23:35 PDT — Ed. 2016 Oct 27 at 23:36 PDT
aaronjer
*****'n Admin

Comrade General 5-Star
2005 Mar 21 • 4599
1,227 ₧
literally anything else nc

McDonald’s combo menu #3: Double Quarter Pounder with Cheese, a large Coke, and a side of literally anything else.
Literally anything else: It’s nature’s candy!
A woman is like a teabag. You can’t tell how strong she is until you put her in literally anything else.
At the city council meeting I yelled “Fine! Have a pig chute! Some of us just want literally anything else.”
What the literally anything else department lacks in selection, we make up for in prancing piglets.
I reached expectantly into literally anything else, but found only a broken man.

 
 
2016 Oct 27 at 23:39 PDT — Ed. 2016 Oct 27 at 23:47 PDT
Nezumi
Asshole Admin

1-Up Medal
2005 Mar 26 • 553
175 ₧
Whatever doesn't kill me, makes me  {n}.

Whatever doesn't kill me, makes me my illegitimate son.
Whatever doesn't kill me, makes me that jackass.
Whatever doesn't kill me, makes me a debased woman.
Whatever doesn't kill me, makes me cute lil’ child soldiers.
Whatever doesn't kill me, makes me the ’80s.
Whatever doesn't kill me, makes me stuff Asians like.

 
 
2016 Oct 28 at 00:21 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5752
white people and their fucking problems np

At the mall Santa kiosk, the elves were caught sneaking white people and their fucking problems into women’s purses and bags.
Chris Angel hurled the deck of cards at heavy garbage and my card appeared in white people and their fucking problems!
Early rugby’s rules: carry the ball as the sacred knife of Tecpatl, score points by impacting my sister, and white people and their fucking problems shall not be on the field.
The new hit reality show: Can You Swallow White People and Their Fucking Problems?
Astronaut Chris Hadfield is well known for sneaking white people and their fucking problems onto the International Space Station.
I’m NOT upgrading to the new iPhone now that Apple has announced it will have white people and their fucking problems.



emergency bacon nc

In public restrooms, I’m always afraid someone will walk in, all emergency bacon, right while I’m sticking a finger in my ear, and one in my butt.
Strangely, right before Hitler killed himself, he had emergency bacon destroyed and a finely sculpted buttock killed as well.
Don’t shake emergency bacon so hard, it’ll start fusing together.
I refuse to roleplay as anything but emergency bacon.
No one in Morocco can be emergency bacon without registering with the government.
See now black people walk like emergency bacon. But white people -- white people walk like they’re large recoil!



completely unrolled toilet paper nc

Dad! I’m all done sewing it shut, so I have completely unrolled toilet paper left over if you’re still interested.
Sometimes I wish I could just lock completely unrolled toilet paper and the S.W.A.T. team in a room and let ‘em fight it out.
Original style is fine, but chunky kinda tastes like completely unrolled toilet paper.
My mom picked me up completely unrolled toilet paper from the thrift shop. It was the last one!
Ha! You activated my trap card, “Completely Unrolled Toilet Paper!” You’re cursed with just a video game until the end of the game!
I need help with my computer! I downloaded completely unrolled toilet paper and now I’m having trouble with wriggly little worms.

 
 
2016 Oct 28 at 09:23 PDT — Ed. 2016 Oct 28 at 09:24 PDT
aaronjer
*****'n Admin

Comrade General 5-Star
2005 Mar 21 • 4599
1,227 ₧
I pulled  {n} out of the way just before the entire thing collapsed under the stress of  !2

I pulled a phone ringing off the hook out of the way just before the entire thing collapsed under the stress of a demon torture puzzle box!
I pulled strands of my darling’s hair out of the way just before the entire thing collapsed under the stress of halitosis!
I pulled terminal illness out of the way just before the entire thing collapsed under the stress of a winning blow!
I pulled a silent, anonymous encounter out of the way just before the entire thing collapsed under the stress of a telescoping baton!
I pulled a listless wasp out of the way just before the entire thing collapsed under the stress of the reanimated corpse of my neighbor!
I pulled killer abs out of the way just before the entire thing collapsed under the stress of doubting its validity!

 
 
2016 Oct 28 at 15:48 PDT — Ed. 2016 Oct 28 at 15:50 PDT
aaronjer
*****'n Admin

Comrade General 5-Star
2005 Mar 21 • 4599
1,227 ₧
The ' {ct} moth' has adapted to feed on  {n}, and hide under  {n} in cities and towns to spin its cocoon.3

The 'plasma moth' has adapted to feed on the final hour, and hide under 80,000 tons of nuclear waste in cities and towns to spin its cocoon.
The 'bad acting moth' has adapted to feed on a pinch, and hide under a strangler in cities and towns to spin its cocoon.
The 'ionizing radiation moth' has adapted to feed on rubbery, cleaner poops, and hide under the atmosphere in cities and towns to spin its cocoon.
The 'relative tranquility moth' has adapted to feed on a pill for every problem, and hide under none more in cities and towns to spin its cocoon.
The 'Schadenfreude moth' has adapted to feed on beautiful girl hair, and hide under blue skies and sparkling water in cities and towns to spin its cocoon.
The 'my arm that fell asleep moth' has adapted to feed on an ineffectual, stubby-armed reach-around, and hide under your idiot ideas in cities and towns to spin its cocoon.

 
 
2016 Oct 28 at 15:53 PDT — Ed. 2016 Oct 28 at 16:01 PDT
aaronjer
*****'n Admin

Comrade General 5-Star
2005 Mar 21 • 4599
1,227 ₧
I thought I'd solve two problems at once by stuffing  {n} down the gopher holes. But that's worse for my lawn than the gophers!

I thought I'd solve two problems at once by stuffing vile doings down the gopher holes. But that's worse for my lawn than the gophers!
I thought I'd solve two problems at once by stuffing wet dog smell down the gopher holes. But that's worse for my lawn than the gophers!
I thought I'd solve two problems at once by stuffing “Cajun style” down the gopher holes. But that's worse for my lawn than the gophers!
I thought I'd solve two problems at once by stuffing David Bowie’s mysterious bulge down the gopher holes. But that's worse for my lawn than the gophers!
I thought I'd solve two problems at once by stuffing his tumor down the gopher holes. But that's worse for my lawn than the gophers!
I thought I'd solve two problems at once by stuffing a cranky, foul mouthed old lady down the gopher holes. But that's worse for my lawn than the gophers!

 
 
2016 Oct 28 at 16:04 PDT — Ed. 2016 Oct 28 at 16:12 PDT
aaronjer
*****'n Admin

Comrade General 5-Star
2005 Mar 21 • 4599
1,227 ₧
I could tell  {n} had ended up behind me when I felt a sudden pinch as I backed up.

I could tell a mental illness had ended up behind me when I felt a sudden pinch as I backed up.
I could tell a crocodile death-rolling my taint had ended up behind me when I felt a sudden pinch as I backed up.
I could tell a bold move had ended up behind me when I felt a sudden pinch as I backed up.
I could tell jalapeños had ended up behind me when I felt a sudden pinch as I backed up.
I could tell a pulpy mass had ended up behind me when I felt a sudden pinch as I backed up.
I could tell a psychiatrist examining my behavior had ended up behind me when I felt a sudden pinch as I backed up.

 
 
2016 Oct 28 at 16:13 PDT — Ed. 2016 Oct 28 at 16:20 PDT
aaronjer
*****'n Admin

Comrade General 5-Star
2005 Mar 21 • 4599
1,227 ₧
me n

New extreme Mountain Dew™ flavor: Me Blast!
Look, man, I’m not into me. But $20 is $20.
My father abandoned my mother and I because he was me.
Welcome to Denny’s®! I am a boy, but like... a manly boy. Would you like to try our new special, me?
Trapped again, MacGyver began his escape with only me and a crusty dish rag.
My pharmacist separated a cat, but upside down into two piles, and carefully lowered one into me.

 
 
2016 Oct 28 at 16:20 PDT — Ed. 2016 Oct 28 at 16:24 PDT
Nezumi
Asshole Admin

1-Up Medal
2005 Mar 26 • 553
175 ₧
a secret government blacksite n

Every French soldier carries a secret government blacksite in his knapsack.
They don’t make bodily fluids like they used to! This one doesn’t even have a secret government blacksite.
The night before Easter, we’ll set up a secret government blacksite on the porch to surprise the kids.
We can be a secret government blacksite. And no one has to know.
What the white men with guns department lacks in selection, we make up for in a secret government blacksite.
A scandal erupted this week when prime ministers of Australia and Canada were caught with a secret government blacksite.

 
 
2016 Oct 28 at 16:27 PDT
aaronjer
*****'n Admin

Comrade General 5-Star
2005 Mar 21 • 4599
1,227 ₧
After a truck ran over  {s} there was so much damage you couldn't tell it apart from  {n}.2

After a truck ran over an empty Tic Tac® box there was so much damage you couldn't tell it apart from steampunk bullshit.
After a truck ran over a friend there was so much damage you couldn't tell it apart from donkeydump.
After a truck ran over Oprah’s warm embrace there was so much damage you couldn't tell it apart from peanut butter in the mouth.
After a truck ran over an icky bug there was so much damage you couldn't tell it apart from birth meat.
After a truck ran over an anatomically correct sock puppet there was so much damage you couldn't tell it apart from taffy.
After a truck ran over a shard of shrapnel there was so much damage you couldn't tell it apart from Her Majesty, the Queen.

 
 
2016 Oct 28 at 16:27 PDT — Ed. 2016 Oct 28 at 16:31 PDT
aaronjer
*****'n Admin

Comrade General 5-Star
2005 Mar 21 • 4599
1,227 ₧
When I went into the bathroom I swear I saw   in the mirror! And it smelled like   in there! I'm so scared!2

When I went into the bathroom I swear I saw diversions in the mirror! And it smelled like attention in there! I'm so scared!
When I went into the bathroom I swear I saw weight loss in the mirror! And it smelled like a bereaved wife with nothing to lose in there! I'm so scared!
When I went into the bathroom I swear I saw eight sexual partners in the mirror! And it smelled like the thing hanging out of my butt in there! I'm so scared!
When I went into the bathroom I swear I saw flailing in the mirror! And it smelled like the royal baby in there! I'm so scared!
When I went into the bathroom I swear I saw stylized male violence in the mirror! And it smelled like the ends in there! I'm so scared!
When I went into the bathroom I swear I saw hiding some pee in the mirror! And it smelled like hot biscuits & gravy in there! I'm so scared!

 
 
2016 Oct 28 at 16:32 PDT — Ed. 2016 Oct 28 at 16:33 PDT
aaronjer
*****'n Admin

Comrade General 5-Star
2005 Mar 21 • 4599
1,227 ₧
When mating season begins  {sp} will present a potential partner with  , along with a hopping dance.2

When mating season begins B.J. Pussylips will present a potential partner with theatrics, along with a hopping dance.
When mating season begins a watchful guard will present a potential partner with unrestrained passion, along with a hopping dance.
When mating season begins a small child with no arms on a buttered skateboard will present a potential partner with a big, red X, along with a hopping dance.
When mating season begins the uncooperative dead will present a potential partner with a puffy penis costume, along with a hopping dance.
When mating season begins a conventional man will present a potential partner with the man who is stalking me, along with a hopping dance.
When mating season begins a half-brain slave will present a potential partner with a list of names, along with a hopping dance.

 
 
2016 Oct 28 at 16:35 PDT — Ed. 2016 Oct 28 at 16:40 PDT
aaronjer
*****'n Admin

Comrade General 5-Star
2005 Mar 21 • 4599
1,227 ₧
your own genitals np

Is there a free outlet? I need to plug in and charge your own genitals.
Getting your own genitals back out of a volcano is next to impossible.
1) A robot may not injure your own genitals, or through inaction allow your own genitals to come to harm.
If you have a dream about a better place now, it meas you’re worried about your own genitals.
Your own genitals: It’s nature’s candy!
My dad’s keyboard has a special key for your own genitals.

 
 
2016 Oct 28 at 16:42 PDT — Ed. 2016 Oct 28 at 16:43 PDT
aaronjer
*****'n Admin

Comrade General 5-Star
2005 Mar 21 • 4599
1,227 ₧
Marina Sirtis' disapproving frown n

My pharmacist separated a liberal application into two piles, and carefully lowered one into Marina Sirtis' disapproving frown.
Hark! What Marina Sirtis' disapproving frown through yonder window breaks?
When the beef came at me it was like Marina Sirtis' disapproving frown.
Howdy neighbor, love Marina Sirtis' disapproving frown! Let’s get freshly squozen poo water sometime!
I can’t believe you forced my mom into Marina Sirtis' disapproving frown! She’s 62!
Since I deserve it, I am going to reward myself with Marina Sirtis' disapproving frown.

 
 
2016 Oct 28 at 16:44 PDT — Ed. 2016 Oct 28 at 16:45 PDT
aaronjer
*****'n Admin

Comrade General 5-Star
2005 Mar 21 • 4599
1,227 ₧
Jake Gyllenhaal's shameful secret n

India is launching a rocket to test the effects of micro-gravity on Jake Gyllenhaal's shameful secret.
I reached expectantly into Jake Gyllenhaal's shameful secret, but found only three babies in a backpack.
Don’t look at me while I’m Jake Gyllenhaal's shameful secret! It messes me up!
Welcome to the neighborhood! I live down the street. You’ll recognize my house with Jake Gyllenhaal's shameful secret.
During routine surgery, the doctors found Jake Gyllenhaal's shameful secret embedded in my abdomen.
If you kids don’t stop struggling with a police officer, I will turn Jake Gyllenhaal's shameful secret around!

 
 
2016 Oct 28 at 16:46 PDT — Ed. 2016 Oct 28 at 16:49 PDT
aaronjer
*****'n Admin

Comrade General 5-Star
2005 Mar 21 • 4599
1,227 ₧
Maggie Gyllenhaal crying in silence n

In protest, Gandhi swore to abstain from Maggie Gyllenhaal crying in silence.
We can be Maggie Gyllenhaal crying in silence. And no one has to know.
You stole corporate America from a charity? That’s like taking candy from a baby! You’re Maggie Gyllenhaal crying in silence and you’re going to hell!
Chase bank is giving out Maggie Gyllenhaal crying in silence this week if you open an account and put $100 in it.
I got a new app on my phone. It’s called “A Rip” and it helps me with Maggie Gyllenhaal crying in silence.
Traffic is backed up for 7 miles due to an overturned semi hauling Maggie Gyllenhaal crying in silence. The driver was undressing.

 
 
2016 Oct 28 at 16:48 PDT — Ed. 2016 Oct 28 at 16:50 PDT
aaronjer
*****'n Admin

Comrade General 5-Star
2005 Mar 21 • 4599
1,227 ₧
I wish Macy's wouldn't only sell  {p} that cling to your butt.

I wish Macy's wouldn't only sell free exotic crabs for adoption (trained!) that cling to your butt.
I wish Macy's wouldn't only sell no less than sixteen Mexican corpses that cling to your butt.
I wish Macy's wouldn't only sell bucketloads that cling to your butt.
I wish Macy's wouldn't only sell some birds eating all the poop away that cling to your butt.
I wish Macy's wouldn't only sell insensitive holiday celebrations that cling to your butt.
I wish Macy's wouldn't only sell man animals that cling to your butt.

 
 
2016 Oct 28 at 16:52 PDT — Ed. 2016 Oct 28 at 16:54 PDT