SuperJer Against Humanity Suggestions PART 2

SuperJer Against Humanity Suggestions PART 2

General — Page 1 2 3 ... 54 55 56 [57] 58 59 60 ... 99 100 101
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5817
The hottest new crptocurrency is " {U-}-coin" -- but it can only be used to purchase  {n}!2

The hottest new crptocurrency is "Another-hole-in-the-head-coin" -- but it can only be used to purchase a single shot to the head!
The hottest new crptocurrency is "Accidentally-decking-a-cop-in-the-head-coin" -- but it can only be used to purchase a gentleman with the tummy grumbles!
The hottest new crptocurrency is "Schizo-Batman-coin" -- but it can only be used to purchase some kind of bizarre barbecue CPR!
The hottest new crptocurrency is "Zoo-smell-coin" -- but it can only be used to purchase fly honeys!
The hottest new crptocurrency is "Eels-coin" -- but it can only be used to purchase my golden goose!
The hottest new crptocurrency is "All-the-time-coin" -- but it can only be used to purchase the coal chute!

 
 
2016 Dec 19 at 17:07 PST — Ed. 2016 Dec 20 at 11:56 PST
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5817
I just signed up for a Kickstarter where they're making  {n}, but portable and connected to  {n}!2

I just signed up for a Kickstarter where they're making an otherwise peaceful man, but portable and connected to a makeshift defensive structure!
I just signed up for a Kickstarter where they're making gross mystery meat, but portable and connected to a screaming dog!
I just signed up for a Kickstarter where they're making a wasted life, but portable and connected to the ’80s!
I just signed up for a Kickstarter where they're making toned thighs, but portable and connected to girl problems!
I just signed up for a Kickstarter where they're making a head full of ideas, but portable and connected to questions. Ceaseless questions!
I just signed up for a Kickstarter where they're making space Nazis, but portable and connected to vandalism!

 
 
2016 Dec 20 at 15:56 PST — Ed. 2016 Dec 20 at 15:59 PST
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5817
questions. Ceaseless questions np

Chris Angel hurled the deck of cards at your lifestyle and my card appeared in questions. Ceaseless questions!
The refugees must be relocated because the shelter is right on top of questions. Ceaseless questions.
I think it’s lovely that you’re getting into a corresponding rise in wages, but I won’t tell your father. He’ll start questions. Ceaseless questions.
Go, go, Gadget Questions. Ceaseless Questions!
I need help with my computer! I downloaded questions. Ceaseless questions and now I’m having trouble with a bucket.
If you have a dream about questions. Ceaseless questions, it meas you’re worried about chafing jeans.

 
 
2016 Dec 20 at 16:00 PST — Ed. 2016 Dec 20 at 16:01 PST
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5817
Rocky tubes inside the volcano, sometimes called  {p}, are the passages for  {n} to flow.2

Rocky tubes inside the volcano, sometimes called passive-aggressive tendencies, are the passages for what we asked for to flow.
Rocky tubes inside the volcano, sometimes called bacteria, fish eggs, and zooplankton, are the passages for my golden goose to flow.
Rocky tubes inside the volcano, sometimes called cautionary tales, are the passages for a burst of energy to flow.
Rocky tubes inside the volcano, sometimes called fat guys dressed as Sailor Moon, are the passages for not quite enough lube to flow.
Rocky tubes inside the volcano, sometimes called an owl infestation, are the passages for a mistake to flow.
Rocky tubes inside the volcano, sometimes called beets. Mashed beets, are the passages for a lab-grown testicle for a wounded soldier to flow.



Play classic NES games the way they were meant to be played--on  {n}.

Play classic NES games the way they were meant to be played--on a crazed gunman.
Play classic NES games the way they were meant to be played--on a twisted horror body creeping down the stairs.
Play classic NES games the way they were meant to be played--on homo hot lips.
Play classic NES games the way they were meant to be played--on Her Majesty, the Queen.
Play classic NES games the way they were meant to be played--on feigned sympathy.
Play classic NES games the way they were meant to be played--on repair service.

 
 
2016 Dec 20 at 16:04 PST — Ed. 2016 Dec 20 at 16:06 PST
Nezumi
Asshole Admin

1-Up Medal
2005 Mar 26 • 553
175 ₧
using advanced Kama Sutra techniques v

Using advanced Kama Sutra techniques brings lots of rattled nerves to a child’s face.
Doctor, you’re a genius! No one has ever thought of using using advanced Kama Sutra techniques to treat human murder!
When the beef came at me it was like using advanced Kama Sutra techniques.
Alexander also named a city in India “Using Advanced Kama Sutra Techniques” after his dead horse.
Your attempt to get little Susie what’s-her-name drunk on lime vodka ended with using advanced Kama Sutra techniques.
My teacher graded my paper F because I wrote about using advanced Kama Sutra techniques.

 
 
2016 Dec 21 at 07:12 PST
jeff is wizlord

2014 Nov 12 • 276
yucky boy germs np

At the urgent care clinic they distracted me with half a man. I barely even felt yucky boy germs.
We finally hired a guy at work to take care of yucky boy germs.
The first item of evidence in The People vs. Yucky Boy Germs is a milky sweat bead.
Man invented undercooked meat, so woman invented yucky boy germs.
Daddy! There’s yucky boy germs under my bed. Kill it kill it!
Bumper sticker: My other ride is yucky boy germs.

 
 
2016 Dec 21 at 07:30 PST
jeff is wizlord

2014 Nov 12 • 276
some bitch named Carol nc

In this 15th century painting, some bitch named Carol is represented by a man with the reanimated corpse of my neighbor for a head.
As the A.I. robot gained self-awareness, it immediately began some bitch named Carol.
Some anarchist made the sign over the expressway say “THE STATE IS SOME BITCH NAMED CAROL GOING SOLO.”
USGS seismologist Lucy Jones said the 5.1 quake has a 5% chance of being some bitch named Carol.
Kraft Foods has announced that it will phase out the use of some bitch named Carol in its food processing operations.
What’s in the fridge? Soda, OJ, some bitch named Carol... Sweet! Sunny-D!

 
 
2016 Dec 21 at 13:58 PST
Nezumi
Asshole Admin

1-Up Medal
2005 Mar 26 • 553
175 ₧
I also wanted to try

the use of advanced Kama Sutra techniques n

A woman is like a teabag. You can’t tell how strong she is until you put her in the use of advanced Kama Sutra techniques.
There’s no reason for the use of advanced Kama Sutra techniques before breakfast.
We couldn’t land because of the use of advanced Kama Sutra techniques caught in the landing gear. We had to crash land on the runway like a strongly-worded letter.
The new Harley-Davidson hog’s got crush beast painted on both sides, which some say encourages the use of advanced Kama Sutra techniques.
At the winery tour we saw how they put heavy hearts and grapes in the tank, but it smelled like the use of advanced Kama Sutra techniques.
Getting the use of advanced Kama Sutra techniques back out of a volcano is next to impossible.



...but maybe it's too long. Is it better than:
advanced Kama Sutra techniques np

I thought I was being attacked, so I defended myself with advanced Kama Sutra techniques.
Some anarchist made the sign over the expressway say “THE STATE IS ADVANCED KAMA SUTRA TECHNIQUES MOTHERING.”
The thief was caught stealing Schadenfreude from the sultan, and so was thrown into the pit of advanced Kama Sutra techniques.
At LAX travelers were horrified to see advanced Kama Sutra techniques spilling onto the baggage carousel, then one after another.
Every morning I hop out of bed and get straight to advanced Kama Sutra techniques, even before I put on my clothes.
Growing up in the foster care system, I learned to be advanced Kama Sutra techniques if I wanted a new family.



And obligate black card:
Jamaica is offering   for free to everyone to attract more tourists.

Jamaica is offering manliness for free to everyone to attract more tourists.
Jamaica is offering keepin’ it tight for free to everyone to attract more tourists.
Jamaica is offering a human for free to everyone to attract more tourists.
Jamaica is offering a backseat for free to everyone to attract more tourists.
Jamaica is offering caressing a face for free to everyone to attract more tourists.
Jamaica is offering spraying up the wall for free to everyone to attract more tourists.

 
 
2016 Dec 22 at 03:34 PST — Ed. 2016 Dec 22 at 03:35 PST
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5817
Taking care of a cat is easy: Leave out  {n} each day, put  {n} in the corner and let kitty fend for herself.2

Taking care of a cat is easy: Leave out a real sonuvabitch each day, put the world’s fastest pump in the corner and let kitty fend for herself.
Taking care of a cat is easy: Leave out a provocation each day, put an elephant with floppy trunk syndrome in the corner and let kitty fend for herself.
Taking care of a cat is easy: Leave out the associated risks each day, put insipid fools in the corner and let kitty fend for herself.
Taking care of a cat is easy: Leave out a useful tip each day, put unsuspecting bystanders in the corner and let kitty fend for herself.
Taking care of a cat is easy: Leave out swamp ass each day, put a silent, anonymous encounter in the corner and let kitty fend for herself.
Taking care of a cat is easy: Leave out a cattle pen and a horse corral each day, put pulsating opposite sexes in the corner and let kitty fend for herself.



To change kitty's litter: grab  {n}, dig out any clumps, and refill with  .2

To change kitty's litter: grab a fistful of glitter, dig out any clumps, and refill with a girl gone sour.
To change kitty's litter: grab intestines draped everywhere, dig out any clumps, and refill with creatures.
To change kitty's litter: grab effective limits, dig out any clumps, and refill with every step of the way.
To change kitty's litter: grab most of my blood, dig out any clumps, and refill with cautionary tales.
To change kitty's litter: grab the reason this happened, dig out any clumps, and refill with dressing.
To change kitty's litter: grab meaty valves, dig out any clumps, and refill with death math.

 
 
2016 Dec 22 at 10:08 PST — Ed. 2016 Dec 22 at 13:00 PST
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5817
a lubed-up hairless cat n

The survey team detected firemen with a trampoline at the work site so I threw a lubed-up hairless cat in my truck and drove straight there.
These wounds were given to me by the beast of legend. Part of it was a $160,000 diamond, part was the last great American, and it was crowned with a lubed-up hairless cat.
McDonald’s combo menu #3: Double Quarter Pounder with Cheese, a large Coke, and a side of a lubed-up hairless cat.
During my driving test, I backed my car into a lubed-up hairless cat. I still got an 85!
Peter Molyneux’s new game will use facial recognition to explore a lubed-up hairless cat in a very realistic way.
I think it’s lovely that you’re getting into a lubed-up hairless cat, but I won’t tell your father. He’ll start like a vial of meth smoke, but not.



Gather round, family, it's time to hang   on the Christmas tree.

Gather round, family, it's time to hang this sentence on the Christmas tree.
Gather round, family, it's time to hang blacking out and making a sex sound on the Christmas tree.
Gather round, family, it's time to hang your idiot ideas on the Christmas tree.
Gather round, family, it's time to hang an extremely uncomfortable mattress on the Christmas tree.
Gather round, family, it's time to hang a stolen Army helicopter on the Christmas tree.
Gather round, family, it's time to hang a garbage disposal on the Christmas tree.

 
 
2016 Dec 25 at 07:54 PST — Ed. 2016 Dec 25 at 08:24 PST
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5817
Fidel Castro's beard and hat nc

A social skill is any skill facilitating Fidel Castro's beard and hat with others.
President Reagan and his entire cabinet got Fidel Castro's beard and hat before every meeting.
The police failed to catch the fleeing suspect because of Fidel Castro's beard and hat.
USGS seismologist Lucy Jones said the 5.1 quake has a 5% chance of being Fidel Castro's beard and hat.
I found out why I’m always sick... they found Fidel Castro's beard and hat in the walls at my office.
Doctor, you’re a genius! No one has ever thought of using skirting around the edges to treat Fidel Castro's beard and hat!



They put in one of those Gentleman's coffee stands up the street where the girls don't have  {n}.

They put in one of those Gentleman's coffee stands up the street where the girls don't have boiling water.
They put in one of those Gentleman's coffee stands up the street where the girls don't have expulsion.
They put in one of those Gentleman's coffee stands up the street where the girls don't have a pubic tuft.
They put in one of those Gentleman's coffee stands up the street where the girls don't have whatEVER.
They put in one of those Gentleman's coffee stands up the street where the girls don't have shame.
They put in one of those Gentleman's coffee stands up the street where the girls don't have all the leopards.


 
 
2016 Dec 25 at 08:31 PST — Ed. 2016 Dec 25 at 10:52 PST
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5817
the bodies piling up around here np

Researchers have trained chimps to recognise the bodies piling up around here by rewarding them with lower standards.
My publisher demanded I remove the bodies piling up around here from my manuscript because it’s “not decent.”
Don’t email me at work! Email me at my personal address: the-bodies-piling-up-around-here@a-big-surprise.net
Amtrak officials confirm the bodies piling up around here would have prevented train derailment.
Abraham Lincoln wrestled with depression, but that did not keep him from surviving with the bodies piling up around here.
The bodies piling up around here is legally grounds for divorcing your wife in 28 states.



filling my mouth v

When I was bodybuilding I tried to dead-lift a deceitful word over my head, but filling my mouth got in the way.
Dad! I’m all done filling my mouth, so I have an extra kid left over if you’re still interested.
The 7 deadly sins: lust, gluttony, a gaunt face, sloth, wrath, filling my mouth, and pride.
I got written up at work today for running to the bathroom and filling my mouth. There was a report.
For my last meal I want a secret exit seasoned heavily with filling my mouth.
I’m grounded ‘cuz my parents saw me filling my mouth at the party last night.



My usual at Starbucks: Double Caramel Venti  {-U}-iatto with whip, sprinkles, and  {n}.2

My usual at Starbucks: Double Caramel Venti Butter-sauce-iatto with whip, sprinkles, and no wheelchair access.
My usual at Starbucks: Double Caramel Venti A-sassy-male-news-reporter-iatto with whip, sprinkles, and filthy underpants.
My usual at Starbucks: Double Caramel Venti Squandering-iatto with whip, sprinkles, and oiled thighs.
My usual at Starbucks: Double Caramel Venti High-heels-iatto with whip, sprinkles, and a close friend.
My usual at Starbucks: Double Caramel Venti The-treasure-box-iatto with whip, sprinkles, and a willful misdeed.
My usual at Starbucks: Double Caramel Venti Pity-iatto with whip, sprinkles, and a ghastly folly.

 
 
2016 Dec 25 at 16:06 PST — Ed. 2016 Dec 25 at 16:06 PST
Crytax
Ph. D in Cryonics

2006 Apr 26 • 253
11 ₧
elderly people nc

Aww! My mom packed a terrible lunch: Elderly people and an enjoyable life.
I think that ecstasy was cut with elderly people. After one hit I began very, very rapidly danglin’ out there all pink and naked.
Every French soldier carries elderly people in his knapsack.
Cambodia’s economy is entirely dependent on elderly people.
Sir! We are out of both ends, but we found elderly people while on patrol. Shall we ration it to the men?
I was so surprised to see something even wetter that elderly people fell out of my mouth.



oxygenating your womb-space v

Come on down to Golden Corral™ for oxygenating your womb-space.
At the coffee shop they put “oxygenating your womb-space” on my cup. I ran out covering my face.
At the carnival I went on the thing where you ride Disneyland!. It made me feel like I was oxygenating your womb-space.
Let’s wait for a pack of smokes to fall asleep, then we can sneak out and get oxygenating your womb-space.
Robots are best suited to repetitive tasks, such as foaming, not at the mouth or oxygenating your womb-space.
A social skill is any skill facilitating oxygenating your womb-space with others.



hack frauds np

Thanks for hack frauds. Now get out of my bed!
At the book signing, George R.R. Martin signed my copy of ‟A Song of Hack Frauds”! I shook his hand and it felt like hack frauds.
A scandal erupted this week when prime ministers of Australia and Canada were caught with hack frauds.
The night before Easter, we’ll set up hack frauds on the porch to surprise the kids.
My religion demands that I must abstain from the key factors. Hack frauds however, is OK.
In New York, a new law went into effect at midnight making it legal to buy hack frauds one ounce at a time.



Iowa’s largest wild life preserve n

The authorities followed the trail of Iowa’s largest wild life preserve, leading them straight to the suspect.
I’m late to my meeting for Iowa’s largest wild life preserve.
Growing up in the foster care system, I learned to be Iowa’s largest wild life preserve if I wanted a new family.
Growing up we never had Iowa’s largest wild life preserve, but we had to deal with Oprah’s warm embrace, and I want the opposite for my children.
I got into my car and sat on Iowa’s largest wild life preserve. Slowly, a smile crept over my face.
Is there a free outlet? I need to plug in and charge Iowa’s largest wild life preserve.



the stupidest movie ever made n

All the best love stories include the stupidest movie ever made.
My dream house has the stupidest movie ever made built in, an extra garage for a utility belt, and a broken ceiling tile for the door bell.
When the mixture is bubbling, add the stupidest movie ever made to the pan, in small increments while stirring constantly.
How high do you have to be to enjoy very expensive gelato in the stupidest movie ever made?
They don’t make the stupidest movie ever made like they used to! This one doesn’t even have a secret elevator button.
Welcome to the neighborhood! I live down the street. You’ll recognize my house with the stupidest movie ever made.



being cool about fire safety v

Music without the sounds of being cool about fire safety is hardly music at all.
Don’t look at me while I’m being cool about fire safety! It messes me up!
Throughout human history, being cool about fire safety has been the first activity of explorers of any new region.
Happiness: Being cool about fire safety, “forgetting” to knock, and a snake pit.
The Chinese government has blocked all websites related to being cool about fire safety.
Every time I go to Costco I feel like I come back with being cool about fire safety.



being borderline experimental v

But I promised I would get my kids being borderline experimental for Christmas!
It’s not delivery. It’s being borderline experimental.
Work on the Taft bridge ground to a halt, due to the union’s demands for being borderline experimental.
The new bill before congress would mandate being borderline experimental in all K-through-12 classrooms.
They didn’t have such grace at the animal shelter, so the 5-day old puppy had to be fed being borderline experimental.
How did I get hurt? I got my foot caught in a bucket of erotic pajamas, tumbled down the escalator and crashed into being borderline experimental.




 ,  . These are things I know.2

slappy little T-Rex arms, jabbing people in the eye. These are things I know.
the island and everyone on it, free exotic crabs for adoption (trained!). These are things I know.
feeling manful, bromance. These are things I know.
a human face, taking a fair amount. These are things I know.
your grandmother, who loves you, adults eating teenagers alive. These are things I know.
diddling, a 5,000 acre forest fire. These are things I know.



You might not have noticed it, but   did.

You might not have noticed it, but a dog head did.
You might not have noticed it, but the whole planet did.
You might not have noticed it, but a bear in a trashcan did.
You might not have noticed it, but useless noodle arms did.
You might not have noticed it, but touching my deformity did.
You might not have noticed it, but a muscular, naked Santa did.



It took 12 years to make .

It took 12 years to makefusing together.
It took 12 years to makea Turkish wedding.
It took 12 years to makea bereaved wife with nothing to lose.
It took 12 years to makecurious bisexuals.
It took 12 years to makebeing kicked repeatedly in the head.
It took 12 years to makegoing down the garbage disposal.



This is the most disappointing thing since  .

This is the most disappointing thing since my swollen jaw.
This is the most disappointing thing since a tender moment.
This is the most disappointing thing since rude kids.
This is the most disappointing thing since pandering to the normies.
This is the most disappointing thing since a spooky mummy.
This is the most disappointing thing since strands of my darling’s hair.



I expected more from  .

I expected more from one more.
I expected more from wings.
I expected more from the heart.
I expected more from ice cold seawater.
I expected more from a phone ringing off the hook.
I expected more from the best woman for the job.

What if Gillette WAS the best a man could get?
 
 
2016 Dec 26 at 00:28 PST
Nezumi
Asshole Admin

1-Up Medal
2005 Mar 26 • 553
175 ₧
Mt. Blood Sacrifice, the Happiest Place on Earth nc

If you kids don’t stop throwing up in an autistic woman’s lap, I will turn Mt. Blood Sacrifice, the Happiest Place on Earth around!
I love your necklace! It’s Mt. Blood Sacrifice, the Happiest Place on Earth, right?
Until quite recently, Mt. Blood Sacrifice, the Happiest Place on Earth had the highest tensile strength of any substance known to man.
CAUTION: Keep Mt. Blood Sacrifice, the Happiest Place on Earth out of hopper and chute opening. Failure to comply risks personal injury.
Mt. Blood Sacrifice, the Happiest Place on Earth! As far as the eye can see! And it’s all making out.
President Putin’s approval rating shot to nearly 100% when the Russian government began Mt. Blood Sacrifice, the Happiest Place on Earth.



Dan said it's probably better as separate cards:

Mt. Blood Sacrifice nc

During the war, German scientists experimented with Mt. Blood Sacrifice to weaponize whatEVER.
I went to cut the cake, and to my delight, Mt. Blood Sacrifice popped out!
Wife and I got a bit kinky last night. Ended up at the hospital to get crush beast removed from her and Mt. Blood Sacrifice removed from me.
Look, man, I’m not into Mt. Blood Sacrifice. But $20 is $20.
Growing up we never had Mt. Blood Sacrifice, but we had to deal with being lured into a van, and I want the opposite for my children.
I want to be buried with Mt. Blood Sacrifice.



the Happiest Place on Earth n

Before you embark on a journey of revenge, consider the Happiest Place on Earth.
We’re having a garage sale to get rid of the Happiest Place on Earth, palace after palace, and human tears out of a champagne flute.
The new summer blockbuster targeted at tweens features a girl with the Happiest Place on Earth and a mysterious boy who fights a deep cut.
Let the Happiest Place on Earth host your next party, providing more blood like you’ve never seen before.
This workplace has gone (0) days without the Happiest Place on Earth.
Chris Angel hurled the deck of cards at a radical student and my card appeared in the Happiest Place on Earth!

 
 
2016 Dec 26 at 18:58 PST
jeff is wizlord

2014 Nov 12 • 276
a happy way to die nc

Chris Angel hurled the deck of cards at sex for procreation and my card appeared in a happy way to die!
My publisher demanded I remove a happy way to die from my manuscript because it’s “not decent.”
Dagnabbit! I got a happy way to die all jammed up in the wheel well again.
It’s not delivery. It’s a happy way to die.
At Boeing R&D, we test a traffic cone full of bibimbap by connecting through a happy way to die to a special 10,000-volt battery.
A woman is like a teabag. You can’t tell how strong she is until you put her in a happy way to die.

 
 
2016 Dec 27 at 12:33 PST — Ed. 2016 Dec 27 at 12:34 PST
Signa
2013 Dec 28 • 136
 ? That's my fetish!

a mental illness? That's my fetish!
thick fingers? That's my fetish!
a projectile? That's my fetish!
hate-fucking? That's my fetish!
an Easy-Bake™ oven? That's my fetish!
things that aren’t intelligible? That's my fetish!

 
 
2016 Dec 28 at 17:46 PST
Signa
2013 Dec 28 • 136
a lesbian's head n

I buried my treasure under a lesbian's head so you’d never find it!
Pundits agree it will take a lesbian's head for the senator to win the election.
The cruiseliner struck a lesbian's head and lost power, leaving hundreds of vacationers to deal with a hanging vine.
I got so drunk last night that I got a lesbian's head all over everyone and everything.
I would have never thought that I’d actually be a lesbian's head while I’m inviting the cops!
In this game you get to collect gay shit and craft a lesbian's head.

 
 
2016 Dec 28 at 17:48 PST — Ed. 2016 Dec 28 at 17:51 PST
aaronjer
*****'n Admin

Comrade General 5-Star
2005 Mar 21 • 4599
1,227 ₧
rage-fucking retards ?

At spring training a foul ball bounced off my bruised thighs in the stands and then knocked rage-fucking retards off love handles.
Rage-fucking retards is legally grounds for divorcing your wife in 28 states.
During my driving test, I backed my car into rage-fucking retards. I still got an 85!
I couldn’t see the eclipse because of rage-fucking retards in the sky.
Abraham Lincoln wrestled with depression, but that did not keep him from chugging NyQuil™ with rage-fucking retards.
Meet me by the new modern art installation downtown. You know, it’s rage-fucking retards straddled by inhabitants.

 
 
2016 Dec 28 at 21:35 PST — Ed. 2016 Dec 28 at 21:37 PST
Nezumi
Asshole Admin

1-Up Medal
2005 Mar 26 • 553
175 ₧
the infinite abyss n

I’m undergoing immersion therapy by continually exposing myself to the infinite abyss.
The police failed to catch the fleeing suspect because of the infinite abyss.
I don’t know what, but BILLIONS of them failed and we careened down the embankment directly toward the infinite abyss.
Aww! My mom packed a terrible lunch: The infinite abyss and a gaunt face.
All the best love stories include the infinite abyss.
The name for Idaho was derived from a Shoshone language term meaning “the infinite abyss.”

 
 
2016 Dec 28 at 22:38 PST — Ed. 2016 Dec 28 at 22:39 PST
jeff is wizlord

2014 Nov 12 • 276
a big, wet, juicy scoop n

The best comfort food will always be greens, a big, wet, juicy scoop, and fried chicken.
... And so my mom asked me, “If all your friends were a big, wet, juicy scoop, would you be a big, wet, juicy scoop as well?”
Last night I dreamed of a powerful Chinese man. I cannot shake the feeling that a big, wet, juicy scoop will arrive soon.
My brother and I have finally decided to start a business doing a big, wet, juicy scoop, since we’re so good at it.
In protest, Gandhi swore to abstain from a big, wet, juicy scoop.
Jan Sobieski, leading the largest charge of hot slugs in history, rode into battle atop a big, wet, juicy scoop.

 
 
2016 Dec 29 at 13:58 PST — Ed. 2016 Dec 29 at 13:58 PST
jeff is wizlord

2014 Nov 12 • 276
a fatal mistake n

Look, man, I’m not into a fatal mistake. But $20 is $20.
The new intern is starting this week. Can you set up her workstation for a fatal mistake?
I want to say one word to you, just one word: a fatal mistake.
The Great Wall was actually built to keep a fatal mistake out of mainland China.
I love your necklace! It’s a fatal mistake, right?
Ever since the incident with a fatal mistake I’ve been haunted by the roof.

 
 
2016 Dec 30 at 19:30 PST — Ed. 2016 Dec 30 at 19:31 PST
Nezumi
Asshole Admin

1-Up Medal
2005 Mar 26 • 553
175 ₧
a brain squid n

I surreptitiously crawled into bed, only to find a brain squid.
These wounds were given to me by the beast of legend. Part of it was a brain squid, part was orgies, and it was crowned with half a spider.
A brain squid has proven extremely popular among young, urban audiences in focus testing.
At the skating rink there was a brain squid and everyone fell down at once.
Ugh. I ate a brain squid last night and I’ve been trying to put on $200 worth of Taco Bell™ all morning.
The biggest float in the Macy’s Parade this year is a brain squid.



Today while playing Pokemon Go I found   down by the lake.

Today while playing Pokemon Go I found dudes down by the lake.
Today while playing Pokemon Go I found God in human form down by the lake.
Today while playing Pokemon Go I found setbacks down by the lake.
Today while playing Pokemon Go I found Krampus, the child punisher down by the lake.
Today while playing Pokemon Go I found just a little something to cap off the night down by the lake.
Today while playing Pokemon Go I found a backup plan down by the lake.



legal bangin' age nc

The White House will no longer enforce The Legal Bangin' Age Act of 1959. Thank God.
My dream house has legal bangin' age built in, an extra garage for a creepier perv, and loudspeakers for the door bell.
We’re having a garage sale to get rid of sharp claws, legal bangin' age, and a Japanese vending machine.
There is no “I” in “team” but there is an “I” in “legal bangin' age”.
I need a hotel room with legal bangin' age, and I need erotic pajamas brought to me every four hours.
Meet me by the new modern art installation downtown. You know, it’s legal bangin' age straddled by beef curtains.

 
 
2016 Dec 30 at 20:46 PST — Ed. 2016 Dec 30 at 21:00 PST
jeff is wizlord

2014 Nov 12 • 276
A mother cannot refuse  .

A mother cannot refuse being lured into a van.
A mother cannot refuse windmilling.
A mother cannot refuse not many teeth.
A mother cannot refuse a thump on the head.
A mother cannot refuse a demand from the king.
A mother cannot refuse a squirming pile of Japanese robot sex dolls.

 
 
2016 Dec 31 at 19:39 PST — Ed. 2016 Dec 31 at 19:39 PST
aaronjer
*****'n Admin

Comrade General 5-Star
2005 Mar 21 • 4599
1,227 ₧
making out with your bed-ridden uncle v

On the assembly line we heat a lonely old man to a steaming, bright cherry red. And this next machine over here is making out with your bed-ridden uncle.
This workplace has gone (0) days without making out with your bed-ridden uncle.
It’s not delivery. It’s making out with your bed-ridden uncle.
Making out with your bed-ridden uncle is legally grounds for divorcing your wife in 28 states.
I went rafting, saw making out with your bed-ridden uncle in the river, no big deal.
A sack of pugs nearly killed me in my dream. I think it's my brain telling me to avoid making out with your bed-ridden uncle.

 
 
2017 Jan 1 at 14:23 PST
aaronjer
*****'n Admin

Comrade General 5-Star
2005 Mar 21 • 4599
1,227 ₧
I have to visit my uncle for Christmas. He's always bein' all   when he drinks egg nog. It's so weird!

I have to visit my uncle for Christmas. He's always bein' all a thought when he drinks egg nog. It's so weird!
I have to visit my uncle for Christmas. He's always bein' all sticking a finger in my ear, and one in my butt when he drinks egg nog. It's so weird!
I have to visit my uncle for Christmas. He's always bein' all those responsible when he drinks egg nog. It's so weird!
I have to visit my uncle for Christmas. He's always bein' all getting crushed between two trucks when he drinks egg nog. It's so weird!
I have to visit my uncle for Christmas. He's always bein' all a coked up hooker when he drinks egg nog. It's so weird!
I have to visit my uncle for Christmas. He's always bein' all a really long nose hair when he drinks egg nog. It's so weird!

 
 
2017 Jan 1 at 14:26 PST — Ed. 2017 Jan 1 at 14:29 PST