SuperJer Against Humanity Suggestions PART 2

SuperJer Against Humanity Suggestions PART 2

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SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5901
 {Un} travelled over 20 feet after  {v}.2

A lonely old man travelled over 20 feet after pooping for four hours a day.
All the food travelled over 20 feet after turning tricks on the street corner.
My vicinity travelled over 20 feet after blocking the exit.
Quiet poots travelled over 20 feet after finding a safe place.
A good job travelled over 20 feet after suggesting a murder.
A tiny bat crawling up your peehole travelled over 20 feet after dying in captivity.

 
 
2016 Jun 4 at 22:33 PDT — Ed. 2016 Jun 4 at 22:34 PDT
jeff is wizlord

2014 Nov 12 • 278
a fool with a madman's dream n

In a world with a fool with a madman's dream getting crushed between two trucks, one man must overcome sizzling lard. Coming this summer.
In future times, the children will work together to build a fool with a madman's dream.
My pharmacist separated a slot into two piles, and carefully lowered one into a fool with a madman's dream.
You spent all your food-stamps on a fool with a madman's dream?!
Life without love is like M. Night Shyamalan-a-ding-dong without a fool with a madman's dream or fruit.
Before you embark on a journey of revenge, consider a fool with a madman's dream.

 
 
2016 Jun 5 at 19:15 PDT
jeff is wizlord

2014 Nov 12 • 278
underwater spiders np

My father abandoned my mother and I because he was underwater spiders.
The way to the lost city was perilous, and we soon found ourselves knee deep in underwater spiders.
Cambodia’s economy is entirely dependent on underwater spiders.
A clever bastard produces an egg which, for one month, must stay under underwater spiders to keep warm.
My fiancee wants our wedding cake to look like it’s a stain of unknown origin, with underwater spiders around the edges, and the amount of land in southern Scotland on top.
At the skating rink there was underwater spiders and everyone fell down at once.

 
 
2016 Jun 6 at 11:22 PDT
jeff is wizlord

2014 Nov 12 • 278
Thank you for saving me, hero. Please take  {n} as a reward.

Thank you for saving me, hero. Please take this half of the planet as a reward.
Thank you for saving me, hero. Please take failure as a reward.
Thank you for saving me, hero. Please take a good strategy as a reward.
Thank you for saving me, hero. Please take a frothy elixir as a reward.
Thank you for saving me, hero. Please take morbid thoughts as a reward.
Thank you for saving me, hero. Please take toned thighs as a reward.

 
 
2016 Jun 6 at 13:30 PDT — Ed. 2016 Jun 6 at 13:31 PDT
jeff is wizlord

2014 Nov 12 • 278
Watch me  {v}. Now watch me  {v}.2

Watch me being strung up. Now watch me walking backwards into John Cena.
Watch me shooting a rabbit with an arrow. Now watch me eating feathers.
Watch me smearing blood all over the bathroom. Now watch me hiding the elderly.
Watch me having a zero-value existence. Now watch me murdering someone through the internet.
Watch me smashing skulls. Now watch me killing.
Watch me removing a uterine tumor with my teeth. Now watch me punching a hole in the roof.

 
 
2016 Jun 6 at 13:52 PDT — Ed. 2016 Jun 6 at 13:52 PDT
jeff is wizlord

2014 Nov 12 • 278
What the fuck card generator?? What's with all the murder violence!?
 
 
2016 Jun 6 at 13:53 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5901
Yeah somehow you got all murder and no poop and no sex.
 
 
2016 Jun 6 at 15:01 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5901
no touching and no sex nc

Researchers have trained chimps to recognise no touching and no sex by rewarding them with the yellow line down the middle of the road.
Jesus is no touching and no sex.
I tried no touching and no sex but it was too tight. Then I tried mistreating the clitoris but it was TOO LOOSE.
Early rugby’s rules: carry the ball as no touching and no sex, score points by assuming complete control, and some seriously fucked shit shall not be on the field.
The city condemned our house after finding no touching and no sex in the crawlspace.
In public restrooms, I’m always afraid someone will walk in, all no touching and no sex, right while I’m buffing that vagina.

 
 
2016 Jun 6 at 18:57 PDT — Ed. 2016 Jun 7 at 10:31 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5901
an email n

Ah, an email for my collection. Now no one has more than me.
I didn’t have any cash, so I tipped the pizza guy with an email.
My car looks like it’s an email but I don’t mind. It gets me from point A to point B.
Kraft Foods has announced that it will phase out the use of an email in its food processing operations.
Any man who can drive safely while kissing an email is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves.
On my wedding night my father told me, “Don’t go chasing an email.”



pictures of my body np

The rich aroma of pictures of my body, from the hills of Colombia.
Someone has to die in order that the rest of us should value pictures of my body more. Now hold still.
They said pictures of my body was out of my league, and that I'd never eve get freaky with my sister’s baby.
Come on down to Golden Corral™ for pictures of my body.
If you have a dream about pictures of my body, it meas you’re worried about a willful misdeed.
The true reason for the Tacoma Narrows Bridge collapse? Pictures of my body.



a secret n

Wake turbulence, also known as election year politics, is turbulence that forms behind a secret as it passes through the air.
I noticed symptoms of apocalyptic machinery, just mowing us all down, so I went to my naturopathic doctor. He said, “it’s a secret!” but I’m not sure.
Online trolls turned Microsoft’s teen girl AI into some kind of a secret-loving bot that hates poking all the little bugs.
10% of all proceeds from sales of a secret will go to The Hiding with Your Warriors Foundation.
Here on the assembly line we heat a secret to a steaming, bright cherry red, and this next machine over here is befuddlin’ mah dumb cracka mind.
President Reagan and his entire cabinet got a secret before every meeting.



honey nc

The refugees must be relocated because the shelter is right on top of honey.
Back in my day, we only had an active member of the communist party for honey and we LIKED IT.
I’m undergoing immersion therapy by continually exposing myself to honey.
The night before Easter, we’ll set up honey on the porch to surprise the kids.
Doctor, you’re a genius! No one has ever thought of using a tiny Jamaican to treat honey!
Original style is fine, but chunky kinda tastes like honey.

 
 
2016 Jun 7 at 10:34 PDT
jeff is wizlord

2014 Nov 12 • 278
I'm building something that's gonna solve all of our problems:  {n}.

I'm building something that's gonna solve all of our problems: rent-controlled coffins.
I'm building something that's gonna solve all of our problems: energy.
I'm building something that's gonna solve all of our problems: retaliatory skirmishes.
I'm building something that's gonna solve all of our problems: water.
I'm building something that's gonna solve all of our problems: a dense woolly undercoat over the chest.
I'm building something that's gonna solve all of our problems: a lucky toss.

 
 
2016 Jun 7 at 13:40 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5901
dazed people np

Dazed people is the only way to say goodbye.
I refuse to roleplay as anything but dazed people.
Original style is fine, but chunky kinda tastes like dazed people.
For my last meal I want a system of tunnels leading to key locations seasoned heavily with dazed people.
My daughter came home crying because the kids at school said she was dazed people.
Sir, you have a phone call. Something about dazed people?



a hurtling space rock n

The raunchy adult film that’s got parent’s groups scrambling: A Hurtling Space Rock Does Terminal Illness.
Happiness: Goat porn, a cow with haunting moos, and a hurtling space rock.
Today’s baseball game was called off when an irate fan threw a hurtling space rock at a player from the stands.
Traffic is backed up for 7 miles due to an overturned semi hauling a hurtling space rock. The driver was eating a bowl of spider webs.
The cruiseliner struck gangstas and lost power, leaving hundreds of vacationers to deal with a hurtling space rock.
When the stadium was demolished it ejected a hurtling space rock, which hung in the air for days.



stopping vt

My life coach told me that to maximise my positive energy flow, I should alternate between stopping and touching my deformity.
I like my women like I like forcing the leprechauns to breed: stopping with a trap that shoots a poison dart.
The President’s unimaginative campaign slogan: Stopping.
There is no “I” in “team” but there is an “I” in “stopping”.
Facebook just bought Silicon Valley tech startup Due Time Co., tapping into the growing market for stopping.
But I promised my kids they could get stopping for Christmas!



being picked v

Someone get Michael! His girlfriend is drunk, up on the table, and she’s being picked.
Who so pulleth out your signature manoeuvre of this stone is rightwise king born of being picked.
Populations of endangered rhinoceros are threatened by being picked and my biggest vein.
Robots are best suited to repetitive tasks, such as lying perfectly still or being picked.
Researchers have trained chimps to recognise being picked by rewarding them with a spinning jenny.
These wounds were given to me by the beast of legend. Part of it was the basement, part was being picked, and it was crowned with my hot little hands.

 
 
2016 Jun 7 at 14:45 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5901
whiny white people np

They said whiny white people was out of my league, and that I'd never eve get freaky with large recoil.
A lifetime of whiny white people awaits. Call now for a free consultation.
Here on the assembly line we heat whiny white people to a steaming, bright cherry red, and this next machine over here is farting while asleep.
I don’t give money to the homeless. Instead I provide whiny white people directly.
I booby-trapped my yard so that trespassers will be surprised by whiny white people.
Wife and I got a bit kinky last night. Ended up at the hospital to get whiny white people removed from her and all the king’s treasure removed from me.



street toughs np

My religion demands that I must abstain from pleading for more men and supplies. Street toughs however, is OK.
Can I get some floss? There’s street toughs between my teeth.
I got a medley as a pet! Do you want to see the racy picture we took with street toughs?
We can be street toughs. And no one has to know.
At the lake, everyone began scrambling toward the shore as street toughs surfaced from below.
On the assembly line we heat street toughs to a steaming, bright cherry red. And this next machine over here is being unfit to even live.



a barrier n

The cruiseliner struck a barrier and lost power, leaving hundreds of vacationers to deal with ululating majestically.
No one in Morocco can be a barrier without registering with the government.
For my last meal I want a barrier seasoned heavily with a humiliated animal.
That’s not funny. My dad was killed by a barrier.
The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for 30 years she served my family nothing but a barrier.
More than 260 people were injured by festive firecracker blasts and a barrier in the Philippines.



Iron Maiden's 747 n

God didn’t create me. God created Iron Maiden's 747. And Iron Maiden's 747 created me.
The hardware store didn’t have Iron Maiden's 747 left, so I got a deal breaker.
In Siberia they built a tunnel to help endangered animals travel safely under Iron Maiden's 747.
President Reagan and his entire cabinet got Iron Maiden's 747 before every meeting.
The night before Easter, we’ll set up Iron Maiden's 747 on the porch to surprise the kids.
In Brea several people suffered minor injuries during Iron Maiden's 747 that overturned their car.

 
 
2016 Jun 7 at 14:58 PDT — Ed. 2016 Jun 7 at 14:59 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5901
strong thighs np

Peter Molyneux’s new game will use facial recognition to explore strong thighs in a very realistic way.
I like my women like I like strong thighs: eating a bowl of spider webs with raw goose.
The cineplex has been using strong thighs in the popcorn machine because it’s cheaper than oil.
My teacher graded my paper F because I wrote about strong thighs.
In this 15th century painting, strong thighs is represented by a man with upsetting footage not suitable for children for a head.
I love your necklace! It’s strong thighs, right?



peeing in a cup v

For my last meal I want thinness seasoned heavily with peeing in a cup.
Ever since I got back from Mexico I’ve been really into peeing in a cup.
Dear diary, today I went into the city and saw peeing in a cup for the first time!
What the body shaming department lacks in selection, we make up for in peeing in a cup.
In protest, Gandhi swore to abstain from peeing in a cup.
New extreme Mountain Dew™ flavor: Peeing in a Cup Blast!



your blessed little heart n

I had a really good childhood up until I was nine, then your blessed little heart really affected me.
If you kids don’t stop reaching around, I will turn your blessed little heart around!
My fiancee wants our wedding cake to look like it’s being impulsive and temperamental, with your blessed little heart around the edges, and the highest intelligence possible on top.
Cambodia’s economy is entirely dependent on your blessed little heart.
Since I deserve it, I am going to reward myself with your blessed little heart.
This one simple trick is all you need to spice up the bedroom: your blessed little heart.



my sexy fox costume n

I couldn’t see the eclipse because of my sexy fox costume in the sky.
My sexy fox costume: It’s nature’s candy!
I’ve been chopping down trees to build my sexy fox costume for me and my wife.
After 6 grueling years, my partner and I have created my sexy fox costume.
Look, man, I’m not into my sexy fox costume. But $20 is $20.
Her inheritance was squandered upon my sexy fox costume while Cinderella was abused and forced to become hand-to-hand combat in her own home.

 
 
2016 Jun 8 at 09:04 PDT
NatureJay
SJA: Commander of Ruthless Abuse

Good Conduct Medal
2005 Mar 22 • 1871
574 ₧
wetness nc

Wetness isn’t getting old, but I sure am!
At the city council meeting I yelled “Fine! Have wetness! Some of us just want an enhanced interrogation.”
In the end, the obvious plot twist was that the serial killer was actually wetness.
I would have never thought that I’d actually be taking a fair amount while I’m wetness!
To brew a love potion, besides eye of newt you need wetness and a crotchety old hermit.
Sir! We are out of maximum bitch mode, but we found wetness while on patrol. Shall we ration it to the men?

100% natural, no antibiotics, and bloodgrass-fed
 
 
2016 Jun 9 at 18:33 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5901
twigs and bugs np

I heard you can rent a friend in Tokyo, but only if one of you is twigs and bugs.
Wake turbulence, also known as acts of piracy, is turbulence that forms behind twigs and bugs as it passes through the air.
Online trolls turned Microsoft’s teen girl AI into some kind of twigs and bugs-loving bot that hates such grace.
I misclicked while my boss was looking over my shoulder and my video of twigs and bugs came on the screen.
John “hitting a man out of his wheelchair” Smith. The genius who brought us twigs and bugs.
Work on the Taft bridge ground to a halt, due to the union’s demands for twigs and bugs.



insane shoes np

Military scientists in Syria found traces of insane shoes in the soil.
There is no revenge so complete as insane shoes.
Doctor, you’re a genius! No one has ever thought of using insane shoes to treat workplace chatter!
Welcome to Denny’s®! I am insane shoes. Would you like to try our new special, sex smell?
Bumper sticker: My other ride is insane shoes.
At the city council meeting I yelled “Fine! Have good vibes! Some of us just want insane shoes.”



the key to my heart n

SWF looking for a real man. If you’re into the key to my heart, get to the front of the line.
At the lake, everyone began scrambling toward the shore as the key to my heart surfaced from below.
For my last meal I want a quality buttplug seasoned heavily with the key to my heart.
For my last meal I want a psychiatrist examining my behavior seasoned heavily with the key to my heart.
The police failed to catch the fleeing suspect because of the key to my heart.
It’s not delivery. It’s the key to my heart.



a cowering dog n

A cowering dog produces an egg which, for one month, must stay under the NAACP to keep warm.
What’s in the fridge? Soda, OJ, a cowering dog... Sweet! Sunny-D!
You stole funds from a charity? That’s like taking candy from a baby! You’re a cowering dog and you’re going to hell!
See now black people walk like a cowering dog. But white people -- white people walk like they’re having a zero-value existence!
Furious that I was buffing that vagina into his spellbook, the sorcerer turned me into a cowering dog.
I went to cut the cake, and to my delight, a cowering dog popped out!

 
 
2016 Jun 9 at 19:46 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5901
a tight-butt white dude n

Let’s wait for my biggest vein to fall asleep, then we can sneak out and get a tight-butt white dude.
I don’t give money to the homeless. Instead I provide a tight-butt white dude directly.
I’m glad you’re my new roomie, my last one was always a tight-butt white dude. Always.
A tight-butt white dude has proven extremely popular among young, urban audiences in focus testing.
I need help with my computer! I downloaded a tight-butt white dude and now I’m having trouble with two F-bombs.
The new summer blockbuster targeted at tweens features a girl with a tight-butt white dude and a mysterious boy who fights spices.



a teeny tiny baby n

Welcome to the neighborhood! I live down the street. You’ll recognize my house with a teeny tiny baby.
Meet me by the new modern art installation downtown. You know, it’s nuclear warfare straddled by a teeny tiny baby.
Though mortally wounded by three shots to his abdomen, the Secret Service agent returned fire, killing the assassin with a teeny tiny baby.
IBM’s new “green” office building gets 20% of its power from sex friends, and the eco-glass windows trap in a teeny tiny baby.
What’s in the fridge? Soda, OJ, a teeny tiny baby... Sweet! Sunny-D!
Factory workers at Foxconn who leap out of windows will now be saved by a teeny tiny baby around the building.



sitting in the bathtub v

I didn’t have any cash, so I tipped the pizza guy with sitting in the bathtub.
People are freaking out because the new Happy Meal PEZ® dispenser is sitting in the bathtub.
The survey team detected sitting in the bathtub at the work site so I threw your only white friend in my truck and drove straight there.
A social skill is any skill facilitating sitting in the bathtub with others.
I surreptitiously crawled into bed, only to find sitting in the bathtub.
Howdy neighbor, love sitting in the bathtub! Let’s get a “magic wand” sometime!

 
 
2016 Jun 9 at 21:12 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5901
peeling the dog v

More than 260 people were injured by festive firecracker blasts and peeling the dog in the Philippines.
10% of all proceeds from sales of nothing at all will go to The Peeling the Dog Foundation.
Their rising all at once was as the sound of peeling the dog heard remote.
My girlfriend was getting something out of the closet. Lucky she didn’t look up, or she’d have seen peeling the dog.
I surreptitiously crawled into bed, only to find peeling the dog.
Hark! What peeling the dog through yonder window breaks?



my butt surgery nc

The area around Fukushima has become a ghost town with my butt surgery slowly overtaking the buildings.
India is launching a rocket to test the effects of micro-gravity on my butt surgery.
Shepherds in Scotland have used ground control for years to keep the flock from my butt surgery.
My father abandoned my mother and I because he was my butt surgery.
Thanks for my butt surgery. Now get out of my bed!
The new Harley-Davidson hog’s got my butt surgery painted on both sides, which some say encourages carefully removing my skeleton.

 
 
2016 Jun 9 at 22:03 PDT — Ed. 2016 Jun 9 at 22:03 PDT
jeff is wizlord

2014 Nov 12 • 278
hot, sweaty, wall-slamming sex nc

I ordered hot, sweaty, wall-slamming sex privately over the Internet so I can get better at solving a problem.
My dad’s keyboard has a special key for hot, sweaty, wall-slamming sex.
Amtrak officials confirm hot, sweaty, wall-slamming sex would have prevented train derailment.
Oh dear God! That was the last of my medication for “Hot, Sweaty, Wall-slamming Sex” syndrome!
Leopards are smaller than most of the Panthera genus, but they are able to take large prey due to hot, sweaty, wall-slamming sex.
I misclicked while my boss was looking over my shoulder and my video of hot, sweaty, wall-slamming sex came on the screen.

 
 
2016 Jun 9 at 22:07 PDT
Crytax
Ph. D in Cryonics

2006 Apr 26 • 299
11 ₧
In John Carpenter’s new film, “Escape from  ”, Snake Plissken is given 24 hours to find  , which has been captured by  .3

In John Carpenter’s new film, “Escape from a shock”, Snake Plissken is given 24 hours to find a dumpster fire, which has been captured by that sack of shit.
In John Carpenter’s new film, “Escape from a pack of smokes”, Snake Plissken is given 24 hours to find infinite sausage, which has been captured by divorce papers.
In John Carpenter’s new film, “Escape from godless heathens”, Snake Plissken is given 24 hours to find diddling, which has been captured by a burned out wasteland.
In John Carpenter’s new film, “Escape from oozing holes”, Snake Plissken is given 24 hours to find doing it RIGHT this time!, which has been captured by touching my deformity.
In John Carpenter’s new film, “Escape from funds”, Snake Plissken is given 24 hours to find not another leopard, which has been captured by creatures.
In John Carpenter’s new film, “Escape from too much denim”, Snake Plissken is given 24 hours to find snuggling with Ian McKellen, which has been captured by radicalizing the natives.



I wish things could be settled without resorting to  .

I wish things could be settled without resorting to a feather boa.
I wish things could be settled without resorting to the S.W.A.T. team.
I wish things could be settled without resorting to less candy than usual.
I wish things could be settled without resorting to erotic pajamas.
I wish things could be settled without resorting to fist pumping.
I wish things could be settled without resorting to ground control.




The President of the United States (Donald Pleasence) np

They don’t make The President of the United States (Donald Pleasence) like they used to! This one doesn’t even have a trap.
The name for Idaho was derived from a Shoshone language term meaning “The President of the United States (Donald Pleasence).”
Welcome to Denny’s®! I am The President of the United States (Donald Pleasence). Would you like to try our new special, turkey gravy?
Give a man a backup plan and you feed him for a day. Give him The President of the United States (Donald Pleasence), and you feed him for a lifetime.
Chris Angel hurled the deck of cards at maggots and my card appeared in The President of the United States (Donald Pleasence)!
The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for 30 years she served my family nothing but The President of the United States (Donald Pleasence).



smashing her in the butt v

If smashing her in the butt were in the Olympics, Canada would be in great shape!
When I get older, I don’t want to be smashing her in the butt.
My life coach told me that to maximise my positive energy flow, I should alternate between getting wrapped around a tree and smashing her in the butt.
Go, go, Gadget Smashing Her in the Butt!
Someone has to die in order that the rest of us should value smashing her in the butt more. Now hold still.
Before you embark on a journey of revenge, consider smashing her in the butt.



tugging her tits v

Here on the assembly line we heat expulsion to a steaming, bright cherry red, and this next machine over here is tugging her tits.
Tugging her tits isn’t getting old, but I sure am!
Kraft Foods has announced that it will phase out the use of tugging her tits in its food processing operations.
Kinect automatically recognizes when you’re tugging her tits and turns itself on to broadcast it to your friends.
I can’t believe you forced my mom into tugging her tits! She’s 62!
The new self-help fad: Better Living Through Tugging Her Tits!



ultraviolence nc

Always makes me hungry when I see the butcher shop with ultraviolence hanging in the window.
When the beef came at me it was like ultraviolence.
In protest, Gandhi swore to abstain from ultraviolence.
The police failed to catch the fleeing suspect because of ultraviolence.
Life is so strange. I went to college to learn ultraviolence, but now for work I’m maximum bitch mode. Go figure!
The Chinese government has blocked all websites related to ultraviolence.



high-impact sexual violence nc

The 7 deadly sins: lust, gluttony, high-impact sexual violence, sloth, wrath, an angry buttplug for the man, and pride.
Until quite recently, high-impact sexual violence had the highest tensile strength of any substance known to man.
Facebook just bought Silicon Valley tech startup High-impact Sexual Violence Co., tapping into the growing market for Coach Diddleplayers.
Peter Molyneux’s new game will use facial recognition to explore high-impact sexual violence in a very realistic way.
My car looks like it’s high-impact sexual violence but I don’t mind. It gets me from point A to point B.
Don’t shake high-impact sexual violence so hard, it’ll start a prybar.


What if Gillette WAS the best a man could get?
 
 
2016 Jun 10 at 13:14 PDT — Ed. 2016 Jun 10 at 13:14 PDT
Crytax
Ph. D in Cryonics

2006 Apr 26 • 299
11 ₧
beyond polite conversation nc

The fire raged out of control because the firemen’s hoses got caught around beyond polite conversation.
Holy dogshit, Texas! Only this sentence and beyond polite conversation come from Texas, Private Cowboy!
McDonald’s combo menu #3: Double Quarter Pounder with Cheese, a large Coke, and a side of beyond polite conversation.
People are freaking out because the new Happy Meal PEZ® dispenser is beyond polite conversation.
John “beyond polite conversation” Smith. The genius who brought us an eyeless face.
The rich aroma of beyond polite conversation, from the hills of Colombia.



"male nudity" nc

At the winery tour we saw how they put a dog head and grapes in the tank, but it smelled like "male nudity".
Their rising all at once was as the sound of "male nudity" heard remote.
The thief was caught stealing headroom from the sultan, and so was thrown into the pit of "male nudity".
Who so pulleth out a tissue of this stone is rightwise king born of "male nudity".
What the thick fingers department lacks in selection, we make up for in "male nudity".
I’ll never know why my grandparents find "male nudity" so relaxing.



material which may not be suitable for pre-teenagers np

Since I deserve it, I am going to reward myself with material which may not be suitable for pre-teenagers.
Two best friends and weight loss take a road trip, and discover material which may not be suitable for pre-teenagers along the way.
I reached expectantly into material which may not be suitable for pre-teenagers, but found only shoulder blades.
Although moving away from material which may not be suitable for pre-teenagers proved effective for schools, the switch to sandpaper initially led to a spike of child hospitalizations.
Crews are working hard after Bertha, the tunnel-boring machine ran into material which may not be suitable for pre-teenagers and stopped.
The TSA has made new rules mandating material which may not be suitable for pre-teenagers on every commercial flight.



coarse or crude language nc

I found out why I’m always sick... they found coarse or crude language in the walls at my office.
Researchers have trained chimps to recognise coarse or crude language by rewarding them with the front half.
When a comfortable spot is ready, coarse or crude language will appear.
Every morning I hop out of bed and get straight to coarse or crude language, even before I put on my clothes.
Coarse or crude language saved is coarse or crude language earned.
Every French soldier carries coarse or crude language in his knapsack.



sexual situations np

Then God said, “Let there be sexual situations”; and there was sexual situations. And God saw that sexual situations was good.
Let American interference host your next party, providing sexual situations like you’ve never seen before.
In future times, the children will work together to build sexual situations.
I dug around for hours in the trash but never found sexual situations.
At the auto parts store, the salesman tried to upsell me on a list of names when I bought sexual situations.
The new summer blockbuster targeted at tweens features a girl with many people and a mysterious boy who fights sexual situations.



fantasy violence nc

Furious that I was being controlled by a child into his spellbook, the sorcerer turned me into fantasy violence.
There is no “I” in “team” but there is an “I” in “fantasy violence”.
Welcome to Denny’s®! I am fantasy violence. Would you like to try our new special, a Hot Pocket®?
Daddy! There’s fantasy violence under my bed. Kill it kill it!
I was so surprised to see fantasy violence that a human-sized hamster ball fell out of my mouth.
Traffic is backed up for 7 miles due to an overturned semi hauling fantasy violence. The driver was killing.


What if Gillette WAS the best a man could get?
 
 
2016 Jun 10 at 13:23 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5901
running a lawnmower over a dead cat v

Welcome to Denny’s®! I am running a lawnmower over a dead cat. Would you like to try our new special, shaking?
The rich aroma of running a lawnmower over a dead cat, from the hills of Colombia.
I didn’t think this house would sell with thunderous applause in the attic. Anyway, I’m running a lawnmower over a dead cat.
This one simple trick is all you need to spice up the bedroom: running a lawnmower over a dead cat.
On my way to work today, I had to swerve around running a lawnmower over a dead cat on the freeway.
Since I deserve it, I am going to reward myself with running a lawnmower over a dead cat.



falling in a hole v

Robots are best suited to repetitive tasks, such as falling in a hole or undulating rhythmically.
Pool rules: No running. No falling in a hole. Keep every pterodactyl out of the deep end.
Trapped again, MacGyver began his escape with only a lovable grandfather and falling in a hole.
If you have a dream about M. Night Shyamalan-a-ding-dong, it meas you’re worried about falling in a hole.
For my last meal I want valid reasoning seasoned heavily with falling in a hole.
A BBC team has witnessed the effects of falling in a hole on civilians in rebel-held areas of Syria.

 
 
2016 Jun 10 at 21:06 PDT — Ed. 2016 Jun 10 at 21:16 PDT
Nezumi
Asshole Admin

1-Up Medal
2005 Mar 26 • 553
175 ₧
a genetically enhanced super-turkey n

You evaded my “A Genetically Enhanced Super-turkey” attack! Most impressive.
Come on down to Golden Corral™ for a genetically enhanced super-turkey.
The new summer blockbuster targeted at tweens features a girl with a makeshift defensive structure and a mysterious boy who fights a genetically enhanced super-turkey.
My brother and I have finally decided to start a business doing a genetically enhanced super-turkey, since we’re so good at it.
Terrified, I scrambled up the tree, with a genetically enhanced super-turkey jumping and nipping at me from below and even human body warmth.
Monopoly: Exact Science Edition comes with a genetically enhanced super-turkey and a pulpy mass instead of houses and hotels.

 
 
2016 Jun 11 at 19:04 PDT
Signa
2013 Dec 28 • 140
full service barbecue ?

Traffic has only gotten worse since the transportation department deployed full service barbecue up and down the highway.
What’s in the fridge? Soda, OJ, full service barbecue... Sweet! Sunny-D!
During routine surgery, the doctors found full service barbecue embedded in my abdomen.
I’ve got a master’s degree in Full Service Barbecue!
In a world with pulsating opposite sexes full service barbecue, one man must overcome mediocre tits. Coming this summer.
Full service barbecue has proven extremely popular among young, urban audiences in focus testing.

 
 
2016 Jun 11 at 19:09 PDT — Ed. 2016 Jun 11 at 19:10 PDT
buq25

2008 Jul 5 • 572
295 ₧
If you have a dream about _, it meas you’re worried about _.
I assume that that black card is misspelled?

Due to the economic crisis,   is finally economically viable.

Due to the economic crisis, complex maths is finally economically viable.
Due to the economic crisis, a dusty butthole is finally economically viable.
Due to the economic crisis, Indian burn is finally economically viable.
Due to the economic crisis, my sweet is finally economically viable.
Due to the economic crisis, non-union scabs! is finally economically viable.
Due to the economic crisis, wobbles is finally economically viable.



I don't believe  {n} exists. Do you believe  {n} exists?1

I don't believe a big chicken order exists. Do you believe a big chicken order exists?
I don't believe spider silk exists. Do you believe spider silk exists?
I don't believe an eyebrow exists. Do you believe an eyebrow exists?
I don't believe your lifestyle exists. Do you believe your lifestyle exists?
I don't believe a bitter rivalry exists. Do you believe a bitter rivalry exists?
I don't believe the deceased exists. Do you believe the deceased exists?



Should the above card use exists or exist?

mental anorexia nc

The doctor held up my x-ray and I could just make out mental anorexia.
If you do it right, mental anorexia is all about goners.
My dream house has a dense woolly undercoat over the chest built in, an extra garage for mental anorexia, and a more cavernous vagina for the door bell.
Her inheritance was squandered upon rumble mode while Cinderella was abused and forced to become mental anorexia in her own home.
Give a man hot water and you feed him for a day. Give him mental anorexia, and you feed him for a lifetime.
What’s in the fridge? Soda, OJ, mental anorexia... Sweet! Sunny-D!



a big black man n

The Halifax bridge failed under the intense weight of meaningless symbols, so the temporary replacement uses a big black man.
Can you come get me? I agreed to go with some guys who promised me a big black man and it’s getting weird.
The 7 deadly sins: lust, gluttony, a big black man, sloth, wrath, a code to live by, and pride.
New extreme Mountain Dew™ flavor: A Big Black Man Blast!
Kraft Foods has announced that it will phase out the use of a big black man in its food processing operations.
Some anarchist made the sign over the expressway say “THE STATE IS A BIG BLACK MAN THINKING ABOUT DWARVES.”

Today's post brought to you by the letter: "heck".
 
 
2016 Jun 12 at 14:47 PDT
jeff is wizlord

2014 Nov 12 • 278
raging, horny, pussy sluts n

When he reached the New World, Cortés burned raging, horny, pussy sluts. As a result, his men were well motivated.
The transferred sperm cells are kept in raging, horny, pussy sluts, where they can remain viable for longer periods.
Go, go, Gadget Raging, Horny, Pussy Sluts!
Last night I dreamed of raging, horny, pussy sluts. I cannot shake the feeling that meaty valves will arrive soon.
There’s no reason for raging, horny, pussy sluts before breakfast.
Everything I need to live on a desert island: A positive test for bodily fluids with raging, horny, pussy sluts.

 
 
2016 Jun 13 at 15:41 PDT