SuperJer Against Humanity Suggestions PART 2

SuperJer Against Humanity Suggestions PART 2

General — Page 1 2 3 ... 11 12 13 [14] 15 16 17 ... 107 108 109
Nezumi
Asshole Admin

1-Up Medal
2005 Mar 26 • 553
175 ₧
Our charity supports underprivileged youth without access to  . Please give generously.

Our charity supports underprivileged youth without access to a light dusting of pubes. Please give generously.
Our charity supports underprivileged youth without access to rhythmic pounding. Please give generously.
Our charity supports underprivileged youth without access to giving it a tweak. Please give generously.
Our charity supports underprivileged youth without access to the first blush of womanhood. Please give generously.
Our charity supports underprivileged youth without access to fairy tales. Please give generously.
Our charity supports underprivileged youth without access to giggling schoolgirls with cameras. Please give generously.



By the time I was a sophomore, I could deadlift  {n} over my head.

By the time I was a sophomore, I could deadlift reasons to do it over my head.
By the time I was a sophomore, I could deadlift a lack of ideas over my head.
By the time I was a sophomore, I could deadlift a broken man over my head.
By the time I was a sophomore, I could deadlift an exit wound over my head.
By the time I was a sophomore, I could deadlift a shock over my head.
By the time I was a sophomore, I could deadlift an improvised explosive device over my head.



For this next one, I want to use "steaming" in reference to the first blank, but don't want to include the word "it" or "its". (i.e. "...we heat _ until it's glowing hot and steaming...") I wanted that blank to be as inclusive as possible. Can anyone think of a better way to use "steaming" there?
Here on the assembly line we heat  {n} to a bright cherry red, and this next machine over here is  {v}.2

Here on the assembly line we heat 100% plastic adult toys to a bright cherry red, and this next machine over here is burning myself on the heat lamp.
Here on the assembly line we heat the final hour to a bright cherry red, and this next machine over here is tunneling around.
Here on the assembly line we heat a censor bar to a bright cherry red, and this next machine over here is impacting my sister.
Here on the assembly line we heat nuances to a bright cherry red, and this next machine over here is shotgunning.
Here on the assembly line we heat a stink bug to a bright cherry red, and this next machine over here is shaking.
Here on the assembly line we heat my extended family to a bright cherry red, and this next machine over here is wanting to be noticed.



Kraft Foods has announced that it will phase out the use of   in its food processing operations.

Kraft Foods has announced that it will phase out the use of the price of HIV in its food processing operations.
Kraft Foods has announced that it will phase out the use of a girl who knows what she wants, but not quite how to get it in its food processing operations.
Kraft Foods has announced that it will phase out the use of human murder in its food processing operations.
Kraft Foods has announced that it will phase out the use of theatrics in its food processing operations.
Kraft Foods has announced that it will phase out the use of skeleton hands in its food processing operations.
Kraft Foods has announced that it will phase out the use of ideological differences in its food processing operations.

 
 
2016 Apr 5 at 03:52 PDT — Ed. 2016 Apr 5 at 04:36 PDT
jeff is wizlord

2014 Nov 12 • 279
Nezumi said:


Here on the assembly line we heat  {n} to a bright cherry red, and this next machine over here is for  {v}.2

Here on the assembly line we heat a urinal cake to a bright cherry red, and this next machine over here is for wallowing in your filth.
Here on the assembly line we heat something a mother whale would do to a bright cherry red, and this next machine over here is for succumbing to nature.
Here on the assembly line we heat five full-time chefs to a bright cherry red, and this next machine over here is for kicking the door down.
Here on the assembly line we heat a puffed up chest to a bright cherry red, and this next machine over here is for untwisting.
Here on the assembly line we heat a sugar cougar to a bright cherry red, and this next machine over here is for juking left at the last second.
Here on the assembly line we heat mood enhancing hormones to a bright cherry red, and this next machine over here is for lying on the floor, cheering.



How do you feel about me adding "for" to the end of that?

 
 
2016 Apr 5 at 10:18 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5924
Nezumi said:
For this next one, I want to use "steaming" in reference to the first blank, but don't want to include the word "it" or "its". (i.e. "...we heat _ until it's glowing hot and steaming...") I wanted that blank to be as inclusive as possible. Can anyone think of a better way to use "steaming" there?


Here on the assembly line we heat  {n} to a steaming, bright cherry red, and this next machine over here is for  {v}.2

Here on the assembly line we heat a “magic” wand to a steaming, bright cherry red, and this next machine over here is for force-feeding a bird.
Here on the assembly line we heat family fun night to a steaming, bright cherry red, and this next machine over here is for farting while asleep.
Here on the assembly line we heat puberty cream to a steaming, bright cherry red, and this next machine over here is for hounding the family dog.
Here on the assembly line we heat A urologist to a steaming, bright cherry red, and this next machine over here is for putting up with you.
Here on the assembly line we heat the gravy dimension to a steaming, bright cherry red, and this next machine over here is for leaving no trace.
Here on the assembly line we heat ionizing radiation to a steaming, bright cherry red, and this next machine over here is for rocket jumping.



Buh?

(I like the "for", Jaff)
 
 
2016 Apr 5 at 13:18 PDT — Ed. 2016 Apr 5 at 13:20 PDT
Nezumi
Asshole Admin

1-Up Medal
2005 Mar 26 • 553
175 ₧
I definitely wanted the second space to work with nouns (despite how I marked the test) and I think those work a little better without the 'for'.

Here on the assembly line we heat  {n} to a steaming, bright cherry red, and this next machine over here is  {v}.2

Here on the assembly line we heat a tacky, god-awful facelift to a steaming, bright cherry red, and this next machine over here is closing her legs.
Here on the assembly line we heat freewill to a steaming, bright cherry red, and this next machine over here is proving she’s a witch.
Here on the assembly line we heat stainless steel plating to a steaming, bright cherry red, and this next machine over here is knowing hell.
Here on the assembly line we heat a broken man to a steaming, bright cherry red, and this next machine over here is having a zero-value existence.
Here on the assembly line we heat a complete joke to a steaming, bright cherry red, and this next machine over here is hiding some pee.
Here on the assembly line we heat a tickle to a steaming, bright cherry red, and this next machine over here is windmilling.



I couldn't decide which of these zany white cards was crazier, until I realized that they're both totally wild.

some kind of fungus nc

At the carnival I went on the thing where you ride A SKELETON. It made me feel like I was some kind of fungus.
They don’t make some kind of fungus like they used to! This one doesn’t even have the sacred knife of Tecpatl.
The 13 colonies were founded on the principles of liberty, brotherhood, and some kind of fungus.
In the end, the obvious plot twist was that the serial killer was actually some kind of fungus.
The 7 deadly sins: lust, gluttony, some kind of fungus, sloth, wrath, an eyewitness, and pride.
The unofficial symbol of the United States is some kind of fungus.



any kind of fungus nc

As an homage to humanity, NASA has broadcasted any kind of fungus to the vastness of space.
Help! I’m any kind of fungus and I need YOU to do something about it!
I picked up a hitchhiker and he showed me any kind of fungus while we were still in the car.
Factory workers at Foxconn who leap out of windows will now be saved by any kind of fungus around the building.
Cambodia’s economy is entirely dependent on any kind of fungus.
It has been prophesied that the young king will eventually be killed by any kind of fungus.

 
 
2016 Apr 6 at 02:48 PDT — Ed. 2016 Apr 6 at 02:51 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5924
I like "some" a little better.
 
 
2016 Apr 6 at 13:09 PDT
Signa
2013 Dec 28 • 142
A shady sack of shit ?

A submissive sex android brings A shady sack of shit and a smile to a child’s face.
Give a man A shady sack of shit and you feed him for a day. Give him raw recruits, and you feed him for a lifetime.
To brew a love potion, besides eye of newt you need A shady sack of shit and a yappy little dog.
The Halifax bridge failed under the intense weight of A shady sack of shit, so the temporary replacement uses ribs.
SWF seeking LTR or fun for now, if you’re into A shady sack of shit, get to the front of the line.
My religion demands that I must always have a big alert, and that I must abstain from A shady sack of shit.

 
 
2016 Apr 7 at 02:51 PDT
Signa
2013 Dec 28 • 142
Signa said:
A shady sack of shit ?

Chase bank is giving out A shady sack of shit this week if you open an account and put $100 in it.
Working on my car I found A shady sack of shit had crawled inside the engine block and died.
An FBI raid on Michael Eisner’s seaside villa turned up A shady sack of shit in every room.
The true reason for the Tacoma narrows bridge collapse? A shady sack of shit
Soldiers in Iraq are deployed with inertia and are instructed to be A shady sack of shit no matter what.
President Clinton and his entire cabinet got A shady sack of shit before every meeting.


Ok, that was too good. I was thinking about my roommate, and now we have a card.
 
 
2016 Apr 7 at 02:54 PDT
Nezumi
Asshole Admin

1-Up Medal
2005 Mar 26 • 553
175 ₧
our last best hope, Kung-Fu Gorilla n

I misclicked while my boss was looking over my shoulder and my video of our last best hope, Kung-Fu Gorilla came on the screen.
The Japanese insist on their traditional right to hunt our last best hope, Kung-Fu Gorilla in the sea.
It’s important to pack the essentials when camping, such as water, first aid, our last best hope, Kung-Fu Gorilla, toilet paper, shelter, and a can of paint on a rope.
My father abandoned my mother and I because he was our last best hope, Kung-Fu Gorilla.
I heard you can rent a friend in Tokyo, but only if you aren’t both our last best hope, Kung-Fu Gorilla.
I’m having a picnic no one will forget! Bring our last best hope, Kung-Fu Gorilla.

 
 
2016 Apr 7 at 21:48 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5924
the man who is stalking me n

Jan Sobieski, leading the largest cavalry charge in history, rode into battle atop the man who is stalking me.
Daddy! There’s the man who is stalking me under my bed. Kill it kill it!
“You didn’t even get me anything for my birthday!” “Yes I did, remember the man who is stalking me?”
Pundits agree it will take the man who is stalking me for the senator to win the election.
You spent all your food-stamps on the man who is stalking me?!
When the beef came at me it was like the man who is stalking me.

 
 
2016 Apr 8 at 13:41 PDT — Ed. 2016 Apr 9 at 16:36 PDT
Nezumi
Asshole Admin

1-Up Medal
2005 Mar 26 • 553
175 ₧
Today's baseball game was called off when an irate fan threw  {s} at a player from the stands.

Today's baseball game was called off when an irate fan threw a succulent jumbo prawn at a player from the stands.
Today's baseball game was called off when an irate fan threw a quiet threat at a player from the stands.
Today's baseball game was called off when an irate fan threw a tuba full of mayonnaise at a player from the stands.
Today's baseball game was called off when an irate fan threw my beautiful, transgender father at a player from the stands.
Today's baseball game was called off when an irate fan threw a bold move at a player from the stands.
Today's baseball game was called off when an irate fan threw a lap at a player from the stands.



sticking a finger in my ear, and one in my butt n

My nightly ritual involves breaking a promise, a kiss on the lips, and finally sticking a finger in my ear, and one in my butt just as I fall asleep.
Jesus is sticking a finger in my ear, and one in my butt.
We finally hired a guy at work to take care of sticking a finger in my ear, and one in my butt.
These wounds were given to me by the beast of legend. Part of it was sticking a finger in my ear, and one in my butt, part was the contents of your vacuum cleaner bag, and it was crowned with a bereaved wife with nothing to lose.
10% of all proceeds from sales of sticking a finger in my ear, and one in my butt will go to The Weight Loss foundation.
No one in Morocco can be sticking a finger in my ear, and one in my butt without registering with the government.

 
 
2016 Apr 9 at 23:48 PDT — Ed. 2016 Apr 10 at 02:38 PDT
jeff is wizlord

2014 Nov 12 • 279
sticking a finger in my ear, and one in my butt v

As the A.I. robot gained self-awareness, it immediately began sticking a finger in my ear, and one in my butt.
My religion demands that I must always have Schizo Batman, and that I must abstain from sticking a finger in my ear, and one in my butt.
There’s no reason for sticking a finger in my ear, and one in my butt before breakfast.
Researchers have managed to train chimps to recognise sticking a finger in my ear, and one in my butt by rewarding them with this.
A lifetime of sticking a finger in my ear, and one in my butt awaits. Call now for a free consultation.
Here’s a certificate for sticking a finger in my ear, and one in my butt from me. Redeem at any time!



This one is amazing
 
 
2016 Apr 10 at 13:25 PDT — Ed. 2016 Apr 10 at 13:26 PDT
Nezumi
Asshole Admin

1-Up Medal
2005 Mar 26 • 553
175 ₧
It can be really hard to explain to people what you're giggling about with sah cards.

Warfighters of the future will deploy  {n}, giving them complete control of the battlefield.

Warfighters of the future will deploy udders, giving them complete control of the battlefield.
Warfighters of the future will deploy a merry mishap, giving them complete control of the battlefield.
Warfighters of the future will deploy retaliatory skirmishes, giving them complete control of the battlefield.
Warfighters of the future will deploy a doozy, giving them complete control of the battlefield.
Warfighters of the future will deploy decorative fabric, giving them complete control of the battlefield.
Warfighters of the future will deploy Tony’s prison baby, giving them complete control of the battlefield.

 
 
2016 Apr 10 at 18:10 PDT — Ed. 2016 Apr 10 at 20:22 PDT
aaronjer
*****'n Admin

Comrade General 5-Star
2005 Mar 21 • 4599
1,227 ₧
an arctic wizard with a knife ?

My daughter came home crying because the kids at school said she was an arctic wizard with a knife.
Getting an arctic wizard with a knife back out of a volcano is next to impossible.
Here’s a certificate for an arctic wizard with a knife from me. Redeem at any time!
The doctor held up my x-ray and I could just make out an arctic wizard with a knife.
Don’t look at me while I’m an arctic wizard with a knife! It messes me up!
My sisters were having a pillow fight. They didn’t know I put an arctic wizard with a knife in the pillows.

 
 
2016 Apr 10 at 20:22 PDT
aaronjer
*****'n Admin

Comrade General 5-Star
2005 Mar 21 • 4599
1,227 ₧
Barry loading himself up in the cannon ?

I had a really good childhood up until I was nine, then Barry loading himself up in the cannon really affected me.
During routine surgery, the doctors found Barry loading himself up in the cannon embedded in my abdomen.
Barry loading himself up in the cannon is the only way to say goodbye.
People are freaking out because the new Happy Meal PEZ® dispenser is Barry loading himself up in the cannon.
The first item of evidence in The People vs. A Broken Ceiling Tile is Barry loading himself up in the cannon.
I’m glad you’re my new roomie, my last one was always Barry loading himself up in the cannon. Always.

 
 
2016 Apr 10 at 20:23 PDT — Ed. 2016 Apr 10 at 20:25 PDT
aaronjer
*****'n Admin

Comrade General 5-Star
2005 Mar 21 • 4599
1,227 ₧
The seven natural uses for   in the garden include applying it evenly to ward off  .2

The seven natural uses for bodily harm in the garden include applying it evenly to ward off friends that can keep a secret.
The seven natural uses for a gold ingot in the garden include applying it evenly to ward off a broken ceiling tile.
The seven natural uses for one Planck length in the garden include applying it evenly to ward off tumbling down a mountain.
The seven natural uses for smoky chipotle flavored scuba air in the garden include applying it evenly to ward off an unfair coin.
The seven natural uses for valid reasoning in the garden include applying it evenly to ward off deliberately standing in front of a cannon.
The seven natural uses for rigid pipes in the garden include applying it evenly to ward off a demon torture puzzle box.

 
 
2016 Apr 10 at 20:26 PDT — Ed. 2016 Apr 10 at 20:32 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5924
jeff is wizlord said:
sticking a finger in my ear, and one in my butt v

Tomorrow the city is throwing a ticker-tape to celebrate sticking a finger in my ear, and one in my butt.
My new phone looks like it’s sticking a finger in my ear, and one in my butt but I don’t mind. It makes calls.
The 13 colonies were founded on the principles of liberty, brotherhood, and sticking a finger in my ear, and one in my butt.
In the end, the obvious plot twist was that the serial killer was actually sticking a finger in my ear, and one in my butt.
I checked my son’s browser history. Found links about sticking a finger in my ear, and one in my butt and financial distress. Should I talk to him?
I tried sticking a finger in my ear, and one in my butt but it was too tight. Then I tried a squealing 6- and 10-year-old but it was TOO LOOSE.



This one is amazing


Oh good sweet Lord.
 
 
2016 Apr 11 at 11:23 PDT — Ed. 2016 Apr 11 at 11:26 PDT
aaronjer
*****'n Admin

Comrade General 5-Star
2005 Mar 21 • 4599
1,227 ₧
prying her mouth open ?

I don’t give money to the homeless. Instead I provide prying her mouth open directly.
I checked my son’s browser history. Found links about casting a hex and prying her mouth open. Should I talk to him?
There is no revenge so complete as prying her mouth open.
I got into my car and sat on prying her mouth open. Slowly, a smile crept over my face.
Go, go, Gadget Prying Her Mouth Open!
The authorities followed the trail of prying her mouth open, leading them straight to the suspect.

 
 
2016 Apr 11 at 18:50 PDT — Ed. 2016 Apr 11 at 19:05 PDT
aaronjer
*****'n Admin

Comrade General 5-Star
2005 Mar 21 • 4599
1,227 ₧
I got   as a pet! Do you want to see the racy picture we took with  ?2

I got a determined shark as a pet! Do you want to see the racy picture we took with a big dang deal?
I got stunning, beautiful moobs as a pet! Do you want to see the racy picture we took with furries?
I got black leggings as a pet! Do you want to see the racy picture we took with a tiny bat crawling up your peehole?
I got a caged madman as a pet! Do you want to see the racy picture we took with drool drops?
I got killers as a pet! Do you want to see the racy picture we took with a sassy male news reporter?
I got thrifty moms as a pet! Do you want to see the racy picture we took with Taco Bell®?

 
 
2016 Apr 11 at 18:56 PDT — Ed. 2016 Apr 11 at 19:04 PDT
aaronjer
*****'n Admin

Comrade General 5-Star
2005 Mar 21 • 4599
1,227 ₧
My kid was acting like  , so I took away   and   privileges.3

My kid was acting like wriggly little worms, so I took away a velvet fist and lady business privileges.
My kid was acting like something just about right, so I took away mediocre tits and tumbling down a mountain privileges.
My kid was acting like sinister plans, so I took away a hackneyed truism and Moon Base Alpha privileges.
My kid was acting like a leopard invasion, so I took away fingernail torture and an effigy privileges.
My kid was acting like godless heathens, so I took away a squirt of mustard and relaxing and letting it roll down your leg privileges.
My kid was acting like seed, so I took away a berserk horse and laughing and lying privileges.

 
 
2016 Apr 11 at 19:07 PDT
aaronjer
*****'n Admin

Comrade General 5-Star
2005 Mar 21 • 4599
1,227 ₧
  nearly killed me in my dream. I think it's my brain telling me to avoid  ?2

a creepier perv nearly killed me in my dream. I think it's my brain telling me to avoid the reality of the situation?
oral fixations nearly killed me in my dream. I think it's my brain telling me to avoid Liam Neeson’s Halfway House for Silly Girls?
a historical dame nearly killed me in my dream. I think it's my brain telling me to avoid compressed gas?
an iceberg nearly killed me in my dream. I think it's my brain telling me to avoid eating a bowl of spider webs?
horsing around nearly killed me in my dream. I think it's my brain telling me to avoid shenanigans?
an Uber™ we didn’t order nearly killed me in my dream. I think it's my brain telling me to avoid door hinges, nails and chopped up horseshoes?

 
 
2016 Apr 11 at 19:10 PDT — Ed. 2016 Apr 11 at 19:12 PDT
aaronjer
*****'n Admin

Comrade General 5-Star
2005 Mar 21 • 4599
1,227 ₧
I aspire to be more than just  . Without   I think I can do it.2

I aspire to be more than just a shiftless ne’er-do-well. Without real life I think I can do it.
I aspire to be more than just a bad time. Without sabotage I think I can do it.
I aspire to be more than just a leather swing. Without palace after palace I think I can do it.
I aspire to be more than just just plain racism. Without a jaundiced view of humanity I think I can do it.
I aspire to be more than just exact science. Without newer technology I think I can do it.
I aspire to be more than just 50,000 volts of electricity. Without a one hundred dollar bill I think I can do it.

 
 
2016 Apr 11 at 19:15 PDT — Ed. 2016 Apr 11 at 19:17 PDT
aaronjer
*****'n Admin

Comrade General 5-Star
2005 Mar 21 • 4599
1,227 ₧
Damn it, don't sneak up on me when I'm workin' on  ! If I didn't realize you wasn't   I coulda shot ya dead!2

Damn it, don't sneak up on me when I'm workin' on slash and burn shaving! If I didn't realize you wasn't baby Brussels sprouts and butter I coulda shot ya dead!
Damn it, don't sneak up on me when I'm workin' on a mutilated torso! If I didn't realize you wasn't my sexual partners I coulda shot ya dead!
Damn it, don't sneak up on me when I'm workin' on worse people than that! If I didn't realize you wasn't a dusty butthole I coulda shot ya dead!
Damn it, don't sneak up on me when I'm workin' on floating away in a fucking balloon! If I didn't realize you wasn't in-flight entertainment I coulda shot ya dead!
Damn it, don't sneak up on me when I'm workin' on hot slugs! If I didn't realize you wasn't a succulent jumbo prawn I coulda shot ya dead!
Damn it, don't sneak up on me when I'm workin' on accidentally decking a cop in the head! If I didn't realize you wasn't a fruitless task I coulda shot ya dead!

 
 
2016 Apr 11 at 19:19 PDT — Ed. 2016 Apr 11 at 19:24 PDT
aaronjer
*****'n Admin

Comrade General 5-Star
2005 Mar 21 • 4599
1,227 ₧
The airline provided   as a fantastic way to keep us happy on the flight. Didn't need it, though, I brought  !2

The airline provided an Uber™ we didn’t order as a fantastic way to keep us happy on the flight. Didn't need it, though, I brought a strangler!
The airline provided valid reasoning as a fantastic way to keep us happy on the flight. Didn't need it, though, I brought a xenophobic history lesson!
The airline provided bursting exuberantly onto the national scene as a fantastic way to keep us happy on the flight. Didn't need it, though, I brought the jape of the century!
The airline provided #1 Dad as a fantastic way to keep us happy on the flight. Didn't need it, though, I brought a vast understatement!
The airline provided a wailing infant as a fantastic way to keep us happy on the flight. Didn't need it, though, I brought a suffering bastard!
The airline provided the bowel fairy as a fantastic way to keep us happy on the flight. Didn't need it, though, I brought infectious laughter!

 
 
2016 Apr 11 at 19:27 PDT — Ed. 2016 Apr 11 at 19:47 PDT
aaronjer
*****'n Admin

Comrade General 5-Star
2005 Mar 21 • 4599
1,227 ₧
I came with   to school to show my friends, but stupid Billy Carter brought   so nobody even noticed!2

I came with a silly goose to school to show my friends, but stupid Billy Carter brought a provocation so nobody even noticed!
I came with an exercise machine to school to show my friends, but stupid Billy Carter brought my point of view so nobody even noticed!
I came with a collar around my neck to school to show my friends, but stupid Billy Carter brought a mental illness so nobody even noticed!
I came with habanero salsa to school to show my friends, but stupid Billy Carter brought unnatural lust so nobody even noticed!
I came with a busy bee to school to show my friends, but stupid Billy Carter brought 19 cannons so nobody even noticed!
I came with seeking death to school to show my friends, but stupid Billy Carter brought pendulous breasts so nobody even noticed!

 
 
2016 Apr 11 at 19:30 PDT — Ed. 2016 Apr 11 at 19:39 PDT
Nezumi
Asshole Admin

1-Up Medal
2005 Mar 26 • 553
175 ₧
gross mystery meat np

In future times, the children will work together to build gross mystery meat.
Oh dear God! That was the last of my medication for “Gross Mystery Meat” syndrome!
Voltron assemble! Gross mystery meat forms the left arm!
Man invented gross mystery meat, so woman invented my person.
Ah, gross mystery meat for my collection. Now no one has more than me.
I was so surprised to see gross mystery meat that the mayor fell out of my mouth.

 
 
2016 Apr 11 at 20:52 PDT