SuperJer Against Humanity Suggestions PART 2

SuperJer Against Humanity Suggestions PART 2

General — Page 1 2 3 ... 20 21 22 [23] 24 25 26 ... 107 108 109
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5924
Is it true that in Nevada you can pay for a lady  {v} in  {n}?2

Is it true that in Nevada you can pay for a lady banning the Pope in naval victory?
Is it true that in Nevada you can pay for a lady being slathered in baby oil in man animals?
Is it true that in Nevada you can pay for a lady wallowing in your filth in the trials of manhood?
Is it true that in Nevada you can pay for a lady wearing a noose to be edgy in sock puppets?
Is it true that in Nevada you can pay for a lady rubbing my gland in fictitious queer same sex transformation?
Is it true that in Nevada you can pay for a lady expectorating some sludge in an ice cream truck?

 
 
2016 May 20 at 15:25 PDT — Ed. 2016 May 20 at 15:37 PDT
Signa
2013 Dec 28 • 142
getting furious at an 8 year old v

Robots are best suited to repetitive tasks, such as getting furious at an 8 year old or loving my idiot husband despite his faults.
Getting furious at an 8 year old is the only way to say goodbye.
Facebook just bought the Heart Company, hoping to get a stronger position in getting furious at an 8 year old.
Early rugby’s rules: carry the ball as a large abscess, score points by getting furious at an 8 year old, and a French knight shall not be on the field.
The new self-help fad: Better Living Through Getting Furious at an 8 Year Old!
Researchers have managed to train chimps to recognize you special little fuck by rewarding then with getting furious at an 8 year old.

 
 
2016 May 20 at 22:31 PDT — Ed. 2016 May 20 at 22:32 PDT
aaronjer
*****'n Admin

Comrade General 5-Star
2005 Mar 21 • 4599
1,227 ₧
the water n

I’m glad you’re my new roomie, my last one was always the water. Always.
Peter Molyneux’s new game will use facial recognition to explore the water in a very realistic way.
Before you embark on a journey of revenge, consider the water.
Nancy Drew and the Mystery of the Water.
The new hit reality show: Can You Swallow the water?
Ever since I got back from Mexico I’ve been really into the water.



thinking about spiders v

“You didn’t even get me anything for my birthday!” “Yes I did, remember thinking about spiders?”
I’m getting Malibu Barbie installed in my car, so I can be thinking about spiders while I drive.
Dear diary, today I went into the city and saw thinking about spiders for the first time!
President Putin’s approval rating shot to nearly 100% when the Russian government began thinking about spiders.
I met this hot chick online. She says she’s thinking about spiders and I think I believe her!
I ordered a skull on a spike privately over the Internet so I can get better at thinking about spiders.

 
 
2016 May 21 at 20:04 PDT
Signa
2013 Dec 28 • 142
tandem showering ?

Jesus is tandem showering.
Traditionally, vampires and other undead are repelled by tandem showering.
The Chinese government has blocked all websites related to tandem showering.
Back when I was tandem showering, I got shot in a reach-around by elastic action.
The hardware store didn’t have a Christmas tree left, so I got tandem showering.
Kirkland mom makes $20,000 a week with tandem showering.

 
 
2016 May 21 at 20:24 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5924
making me cum v

SWF seeking LTR or fun for now, if you’re into making me cum, get to the front of the line.
We finally hired a guy at work to take care of making me cum.
Music without the sounds of making me cum is hardly music at all.
Early rugby’s rules: carry the ball as the Handsome Boy Modeling School, score points by making me cum, and Katy Perry’s kitty, Kitty Purry shall not be on the field.
If you have a dream about making me cum, it meas you’re worried about a choreographed dance.
After the war, the British government had Alan Turing chemically castrated because he was making me cum.

 
 
2016 May 22 at 01:07 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5924
pulling on my butthole hairs v

Alien cover-ups, false flag operations, and military experiments with pulling on my butthole hairs! It’s all here in my manifesto!
Music without the sounds of pulling on my butthole hairs is hardly music at all.
I got written up at work today for running to the bathroom and pulling on my butthole hairs. There was a report.
At the book signing, George R.R. Martin signed my copy of ‟A Song of Pulling on My Butthole Hairs”! I shook his hand and it felt like pulling on my butthole hairs.
There is no “I” in “team” but there is an “I” in “pulling on my butthole hairs”.
“You didn’t even get me anything for my birthday!” “Yes I did, remember pulling on my butthole hairs?”

 
 
2016 May 22 at 14:17 PDT
jeff is wizlord

2014 Nov 12 • 279
SuperJer said:
card=v making me cum


Oh wow, well done Superjer.
 
 
2016 May 23 at 11:33 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5924
Tee hee!
 
 
2016 May 23 at 13:24 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5924
falling into boiling water v

Your attempt to get little Susie what’s-her-name drunk on lime vodka ended with falling into boiling water.
Thank you ladies and gentlemen! For my next performance art piece, I will be falling into boiling water.
I’m getting hyperactive legs installed in my car, so I can be falling into boiling water while I drive.
Every morning I hop out of bed and get straight to falling into boiling water, even before I put on my clothes.
But I promised my kids they could get falling into boiling water for Christmas!
I got written up at work today for running to the bathroom and falling into boiling water. There was a report.



boiling water vnc

At my 9th birthday, we had my private supply piñata that burst open showering boiling water on us kids.
I was so surprised to see a planet where apes evolved from men that boiling water fell out of my mouth.
Go, go, Gadget Boiling Water!
I can’t shake the feeling there’s always boiling water just around the corner.
You evaded my “Boiling Water” attack! Most impressive.
I met a strange lady, she made me nervous. She took me in and gave me boiling water.



a mouthful of bison gravy nc

Work on the Taft bridge ground to a halt, due to the union’s demands for a mouthful of bison gravy.
Back in my day, we had death math for a mouthful of bison gravy and we LIKED IT.
My kid was acting like drugs, so I took away the underdog and a mouthful of bison gravy privileges.
Help! I can’t find my daughter! She looks like a mouthful of bison gravy and is carrying papal taxation.
Class, turn to page 100 and start reading “A Mouthful of Bison Gravy”.
A scandal erupted this week when prime ministers of Australia and Canada were caught with a mouthful of bison gravy.



hacking my foot off v

Researchers have managed to train chimps to recognise everything you’ve always wanted by rewarding them with hacking my foot off.
I thought I was being attacked, and I defended myself with hacking my foot off.
My new phone looks like it’s hacking my foot off but I don’t mind. It makes calls.
Trapped again, MacGyver began his escape with only potent neurotoxins and hacking my foot off.
The water tower looks like it’s hacking my foot off from this angle.
Robots are best suited to repetitive tasks, such as breaking down in a cheap motel room or hacking my foot off.



 
 
2016 May 23 at 13:26 PDT — Ed. 2016 May 23 at 13:29 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5924
inflatable safety bumpers np

A woman is like a teabag. You can’t tell how strong she is until you put her in inflatable safety bumpers.
Here on the assembly line we heat inflatable safety bumpers to a steaming, bright cherry red, and this next machine over here is finding a safe place.
The three techniques of Sumo Wrestling: Jabbing people in the eye, inflatable safety bumpers and a coked up hooker.
I heard you can rent a friend in Tokyo, but only if you aren’t both inflatable safety bumpers.
I’ve got a master’s degree in Inflatable Safety Bumpers!
In Brea several people suffered minor injuries during inflatable safety bumpers that overturned their car.



eyes the size of saucers np

We can be eyes the size of saucers. And no one has to know.
For science class we went on a field trip to see how eyes the size of saucers happens.
The night before Easter, we’ll set up eyes the size of saucers on the porch to surprise the kids.
Apparently, “Eyes the Size of Saucers” is a dance move in the Hip-Hop and B-Boy community.
I had a really good childhood up until I was nine, then eyes the size of saucers really affected me.
But of the tree of knowledge of eyes the size of saucers and a savvy entrepreneur you shall not eat, for in the day you eat of it you shall surely die.



red, itchy eyes np

The cruiseliner struck red, itchy eyes and sank, leaving hundreds of vacationers in the water to deal with Teddy Roosevelt’s giant fossilized face.
Sometimes, when hiking through the woods, you might cross paths with a robot body. So bring red, itchy eyes.
Furious that I had peed into his spellbook, the sorcerer turned me into red, itchy eyes.
Come on down to Golden Corral™ for red, itchy eyes.
The city condemned our house after finding red, itchy eyes in the crawlspace.
President Clinton and his entire cabinet got red, itchy eyes before every meeting.



a volleyball with a swastika on it n

When the research team activated the interdimensional portal, a volleyball with a swastika on it emerged.
Early rugby’s rules: carry the ball as a dust cloud, score points by completely wigging out, and a volleyball with a swastika on it shall not be on the field.
After 6 grueling years, my partner and I have created a volleyball with a swastika on it.
Driving late at night, I was horrified to find a volleyball with a swastika on it in the back seat.
The Great Wall was actually built to keep a volleyball with a swastika on it out of mainland China.
A volleyball with a swastika on it has proven extremely popular among young, urban audiences in focus testing.



a new battery n

Thank you ladies and gentlemen! For my next performance art piece, I will be a new battery.
The hardware store didn’t have a new battery left, so I got a bra strap.
Men, like a new battery, go farthest when they are hot grills.
Before you embark on a journey of revenge, consider a new battery.
Trapped again, MacGyver began his escape with only a new battery and Fancy Santas.
I’m late to my meeting for a new battery.



 
 
2016 May 23 at 13:34 PDT — Ed. 2016 May 23 at 13:37 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5924
rounded corners np

Rounded corners... like a woman’s.
Sometimes, when hiking through the woods, you might cross paths with a charcoal briquette. So bring rounded corners.
My girlfriend went in the closet and I froze, but luckily she didn’t look up and see rounded corners.
After the war, the British government had Alan Turing chemically castrated because he was rounded corners.
During my driving test, I backed my car into rounded corners. I still got an 85!
The new Harley-Davidson hog’s got whoever collapses first painted on both sides, which some say encourages rounded corners.



a car door n

The survey team detected a car door so I threw a glass rod in my truck and drove straight there.
The rich aroma of a car door, from the hills of Colombia.
Damn it! I got a car door jammed in the wheel well again.
Kirkland mom makes $20,000 a week with a car door.
My brother and I have finally decided to start a business doing a car door, since we’re so good at it.
Squad, circle up. It’s time to talk a car door.



surfing the information superhighway v

I went rafting, saw surfing the information superhighway in the river, no big deal.
Researchers have managed to train chimps to recognize a burn victim by rewarding then with surfing the information superhighway.
I can’t believe you forced my mom into surfing the information superhighway! She’s 62!
Surfing the Information Superhighway: The President’s unimaginative campaign slogan.
It has been prophesied that the young king will eventually be killed by surfing the information superhighway.
This year’s hottest new fashion is surfing the information superhighway on your head.



doing it online v

That’s not funny. My dad was killed by doing it online.
Don’t look at me while I’m doing it online! It messes me up!
For science class we went on a field trip to see how doing it online happens.
Facebook just bought Indian Burn Company, hoping to get a stronger position in doing it online.
Your attempt to get little Susie what’s-her-name drunk on lime vodka ended with doing it online.
A weird glitch in the Oculus Rift demo caused me to experience doing it online like I was really there.

 
 
2016 May 23 at 14:07 PDT
jeff is wizlord

2014 Nov 12 • 279
That new mmo is coming out next week and I've already reserved my name:  {n}

That new mmo is coming out next week and I've already reserved my name: violent death
That new mmo is coming out next week and I've already reserved my name: a bullet hole
That new mmo is coming out next week and I've already reserved my name: a creepier perv
That new mmo is coming out next week and I've already reserved my name: a warhead
That new mmo is coming out next week and I've already reserved my name: a coming horrific hell
That new mmo is coming out next week and I've already reserved my name: a lumberjack orgy



I feel like this could be worded better. Thoughts?
 
 
2016 May 23 at 14:29 PDT — Ed. 2016 May 23 at 14:30 PDT
Nezumi
Asshole Admin

1-Up Medal
2005 Mar 26 • 553
175 ₧
I think it works pretty well. Let's try it with non-countable nouns:
That new mmo is coming out next week and I've already reserved my name:  {c}

That new mmo is coming out next week and I've already reserved my name: black power
That new mmo is coming out next week and I've already reserved my name: mutual benefit
That new mmo is coming out next week and I've already reserved my name: terminal illness
That new mmo is coming out next week and I've already reserved my name: insincerity
That new mmo is coming out next week and I've already reserved my name: hand-to-hand combat
That new mmo is coming out next week and I've already reserved my name: ointment



bringing about the apocalypse v

... And so my mom asked me, “If all your friends were bringing about the apocalypse, would you be bringing about the apocalypse as well?”
Although moving away from a wish-granting goblin proved effective for schools, switching to bringing about the apocalypse initially led to a spike of child hospitalizations.
My teacher graded my paper F because I wrote about bringing about the apocalypse.
The new intern is starting this week. Can you set up her workstation for bringing about the apocalypse?
Factory workers at Foxconn who leap out of windows will now be saved by bringing about the apocalypse around the building.
I refuse to roleplay as anything but bringing about the apocalypse.

 
 
2016 May 23 at 14:52 PDT — Ed. 2016 May 23 at 14:53 PDT
jeff is wizlord

2014 Nov 12 • 279
Nezumi said:
I think it works pretty well. Let's try it with non-countable nouns:
That new mmo is coming out next week and I've already reserved my name:  {c}

That new mmo is coming out next week and I've already reserved my name: outrageous fortune
That new mmo is coming out next week and I've already reserved my name: evil thinking
That new mmo is coming out next week and I've already reserved my name: moral anguish
That new mmo is coming out next week and I've already reserved my name: hands-free massage
That new mmo is coming out next week and I've already reserved my name: bat country
That new mmo is coming out next week and I've already reserved my name: thunderous applause



Non-countable nouns definitely works better.
 
 
2016 May 23 at 15:04 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5924
Why not be specific?

World of Warcraft is adding a new character class so you can play as  {n} equipped with  {n}.2

World of Warcraft is adding a new character class so you can play as unbridled fury equipped with an effigy.
World of Warcraft is adding a new character class so you can play as a positive test for bodily fluids equipped with a quirky, vegan CEO.
World of Warcraft is adding a new character class so you can play as the real adversary equipped with a choreographed dance.
World of Warcraft is adding a new character class so you can play as a small chubby equipped with a horrible proposition.
World of Warcraft is adding a new character class so you can play as some guy named Darryl equipped with female breast tissue.
World of Warcraft is adding a new character class so you can play as a plump, lazy hyena equipped with gases and smoke.

 
 
2016 May 23 at 15:21 PDT — Ed. 2016 May 23 at 15:22 PDT
jeff is wizlord

2014 Nov 12 • 279
Another amazing one by Superjer. I should try harder!
 
 
2016 May 23 at 18:07 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5924
getting on with life v

Researchers have managed to train chimps to recognize rival anthills by rewarding then with getting on with life.
The new self-help fad: Better Living Through Getting on with Life!
There’s no reason for getting on with life before breakfast.
People are freaking out because the new Happy Meal PEZ® dispenser is getting on with life.
Before you embark on a journey of revenge, consider getting on with life.
The survey team detected getting on with life so I threw fist pumping in my truck and drove straight there.



dripping down my chin v

The new Harley-Davidson hog’s got a souped-up Segway painted on both sides, which some say encourages dripping down my chin.
But I promised my kids they could get dripping down my chin for Christmas!
Tomorrow the city is throwing a ticker-tape to celebrate dripping down my chin.
Happiness: An improvised explosive device, a box of wine, and dripping down my chin.
Someone get Michael! His girlfriend is drunk, up on the table, and she’s dripping down my chin.
Populations of endangered rhinoceros are threatened by dudes and dripping down my chin.



a city bus n

Original style is fine, but chunky kinda tastes like a city bus.
I got into my car and sat on a city bus. Slowly, a smile crept over my face.
Man invented a city bus, so woman invented an irritated throat.
SWF seeking LTR or fun for now, if you’re into a city bus, get to the front of the line.
I tried infectious laughter but it was too tight. Then I tried a city bus but it was TOO LOOSE.
I came with a city bus to school to show my friends, but stupid Billy Carter brought potent neurotoxins so nobody even noticed!

 
 
2016 May 24 at 14:44 PDT — Ed. 2016 May 24 at 14:45 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5924
getting locked up v

I don’t give money to the homeless. Instead I provide getting locked up directly.
I’ve been dancing to the new single by “A Crazy Cat Lady and Getting Locked up”.
You’ve got to come see the baby, it’s as cute as getting locked up.
Can you come get me? I went to the wrong man with some guys who promised me getting locked up.
The government says chemtrails from planes are just condensation. But we know they're getting locked up!
When I get older, I don’t want to be getting locked up.



being dragged by the neck v

Traditionally, vampires and other undead are repelled by being dragged by the neck.
My nightly ritual involves being dragged by the neck, Earth’s orbit, and finally a yellow suit just as I fall asleep.
The Halifax bridge failed under the intense weight of being dragged by the neck, so the temporary replacement uses very expensive gelato.
For my last meal I want a smooth vagina seasoned heavily with being dragged by the neck.
Researchers have managed to train chimps to recognize a fuzzy hat by rewarding then with being dragged by the neck.
The Chinese government has blocked all websites related to being dragged by the neck.



a 100 foot tidal wave n

During the war, German scientists experimented with a 100 foot tidal wave to weaponize a paper-white mask of evil.
Always walk into an interview with a 100 foot tidal wave and confidence, and you’ll get the job. Unless they hate a hunky, Adonis-like male figure.
Science never solves a problem without creating a 100 foot tidal wave.
When a person has a 100 foot tidal wave, sometimes their mind clicks that this thing will win arguments and straighten people out.
At the skating rink there was a 100 foot tidal wave and everyone fell down at once.
It’s lucky to touch a 100 foot tidal wave; it’s even luckier to touch someone else’s.



a super chill teacher n

I am become a super chill teacher, the destroyer of worlds.
I can’t believe you forced my mom into a super chill teacher! She’s 62!
At the coffee shop they wrote “a super chill teacher” on my cup. I ran out covering my face.
A scandal erupted this week when prime ministers of Australia and Canada were caught with a super chill teacher.
A super chill teacher is grounds for divorcing your wife in 28 states.
The refugees must be relocated because the shelter is right on top of a super chill teacher.

 
 
2016 May 24 at 15:41 PDT — Ed. 2016 May 24 at 15:59 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5924
furiously caressing each other v

If you have a dream about a cat in a paper bag, it meas you’re worried about furiously caressing each other.
My car looks like it’s furiously caressing each other but I don’t mind. It gets me from point A to point B.
The only way to make sense out of furiously caressing each other is to plunge into it, move with it, and join the dance.
When I get older, I don’t want to be furiously caressing each other.
My life coach told me that to maximise my positive energy flow, I should alternate between adopting a Romanian baby and furiously caressing each other.
The band hadn’t started playing when a fluid-filled body cavity went off early, ejecting furiously caressing each other into the air!



a fist rammed through n

Authorities were tallying damage from a fist rammed through that struck southern California Friday evening.
There is a rumor that Marilyn Manson had barely any swag removed so he could be a fist rammed through.
Help! I’m a fist rammed through and I need YOU to do something about it!
Outrageous new comedy: 2 best friends and a fist rammed through take a road trip, and discover a horizontal ass crack along the way.
I was so surprised to see a fist rammed through that the halo on your fucking head fell out of my mouth.
How embarrassing! I forget I left a fist rammed through in the foyer.



being kicked repeatedly in the head v

Howdy neighbor, love the basement! Let’s get being kicked repeatedly in the head sometime!
As the A.I. robot gained self-awareness, it immediately began being kicked repeatedly in the head.
Work on the Taft bridge ground to a halt, due to the union’s demands for being kicked repeatedly in the head.
Back when I was being kicked repeatedly in the head, I got shot in what the dog ate by compost.
Shepherds in Scotland have used being kicked repeatedly in the head for years to keep the flock from gangstas.
I came home to find being kicked repeatedly in the head replaced with Krampus, the child punisher.



a little flap of skin n

No one in Morocco can be a little flap of skin without registering with the government.
In a world with the real adversary buffing that vagina, one man must overcome a little flap of skin. Coming this summer.
A little flap of skin has proven extremely popular among young, urban audiences in focus testing.
One has to secrete a jelly in which to slip a little flap of skin down people’s throats - and one always secretes too much jelly.
I found out why I’m always sick... they found a little flap of skin in the walls at my office.
At the new circus in town, three jugglers throw each other a little flap of skin, while a man is laying claim on a galloping horse.

 
 
2016 May 24 at 16:02 PDT — Ed. 2016 May 24 at 16:03 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5924
trapped stairs that fold into a ramp np

Their rising all at once was as the sound of trapped stairs that fold into a ramp heard remote.
Chris Angel threw the deck of cards at the steamboat captain and my card appeared in trapped stairs that fold into a ramp!
These wounds were given to me by the beast of legend. Part of it was trapped stairs that fold into a ramp, part was Vietnam War 2, and it was crowned with some guy named Darryl.
In the third world, luxuries like that urpy feeling like when you eat too much are an alien concept, and most people don't even have access to trapped stairs that fold into a ramp.
Ever since the accident, I freeze in terror at the sight of trapped stairs that fold into a ramp.
Welcome to Denny’s®! I am an airbag. Would you like to try our new special, trapped stairs that fold into a ramp?


a kitten pawing at my wiener n

Original style is fine, but chunky kinda tastes like a kitten pawing at my wiener.
The new bill before congress would mandate a kitten pawing at my wiener and provide subsidies for a bag of duck vaginas.
The two biggest floats at the Macy’s Parade this year are rumble mode and a kitten pawing at my wiener.
The best comfort food will always be greens, a kitten pawing at my wiener, and fried chicken.
I wasn’t always black... there was a kitten pawing at my wiener, and it got bigger and bigger.
Thank you ladies and gentlemen! For my next performance art piece, I will be a kitten pawing at my wiener.


hot sparks np

Kraft Foods has announced that it will phase out the use of hot sparks in its food processing operations.
My sisters were having a pillow fight. They didn’t know I put hot sparks in the pillows.
Then God said, “Let there be hot sparks”; and there was hot sparks. And God saw that hot sparks was good.
My kid was acting like a traffic cone full of bibimbap, so I took away just plain racism and hot sparks privileges.
If my horrible neighbor doesn’t get hot sparks off my property, I’m calling the cops!
Jesus is hot sparks.


a watermelon owned by a black man n

Chase bank is giving out a watermelon owned by a black man this week if you open an account and put $100 in it.
I ordered a watermelon owned by a black man privately over the Internet so I can get better at killing.
I’m undergoing immersion therapy by continually exposing myself to a watermelon owned by a black man.
Factory workers at Foxconn who leap out of windows will now be saved by a watermelon owned by a black man around the building.
Kirkland mom makes $20,000 a week with a watermelon owned by a black man.
I love your necklace! It’s a watermelon owned by a black man, right?

 
 
2016 May 24 at 16:07 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5924
a mound of fresh hamburger n

When a mound of fresh hamburger is ready, too much denim will appear.
My new phone looks like it’s a mound of fresh hamburger but I don’t mind. It makes calls.
I reached expectantly into a mound of fresh hamburger, but found only the yellow line down the middle of the road.
Populations of endangered rhinoceros are threatened by shame vibes and a mound of fresh hamburger.
I picked up a hitchhiker and he showed me a mound of fresh hamburger while we were still in the car.
The refugees must be relocated because the shelter is right on top of a mound of fresh hamburger.



a button labelled "kill" n

That’s Captain Rogers the Rancorous of “A Button Labelled "kill",” the finest ship in the harbor!
I came with the sound of someone sipping soup to school to show my friends, but stupid Billy Carter brought a button labelled "kill" so nobody even noticed!
Can you come get me? I went to closet lesbians with some guys who promised me a button labelled "kill".
Back when I was my private supply, I got shot in a button labelled "kill" by a poisonous bosom snake.
Ah, a button labelled "kill" for my collection. Now no one has more than me.
When the mixture is bubbling, add a button labelled "kill" to the pan, in small increments while stirring constantly.



very depraved porn nc

I tried to sneak out of the store with a van down by the river under one arm and very depraved porn down my pants.
But I promised my kids they could get very depraved porn for Christmas!
Driving late at night, I was horrified to find very depraved porn in the back seat.
Holy dogshit, Texas! Only very depraved porn and a boiled bag of pig cushion come from Texas, Private Cowboy!
The Halifax bridge failed under the intense weight of very depraved porn, so the temporary replacement uses a low wall.
Meet me by the new modern art installation downtown. You know, it’s very depraved porn straddled by a beefy meal.



being suspended in gelatin v

I heard you can rent a friend in Tokyo, but only if you aren’t both being suspended in gelatin.
Online trolls turned Microsoft’s teen girl AI into some kind of whether I did it-loving bot that hates being suspended in gelatin.
I chipped my tooth on long deep kisses with eyes wide open. My dentist said I’m lucky it wasn’t being suspended in gelatin.
Go, go, Gadget Being Suspended in Gelatin!
Abraham Lincoln wrestled with depression, but that did not keep him from being suspended in gelatin with fingernail torture.
Thanks for being suspended in gelatin. Now get out of my bed!

 
 
2016 May 24 at 16:12 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5924
climbing onto the cold metal table v

I’ll never know why my grandparents find climbing onto the cold metal table so relaxing.
Who so pulleth out an old, Asian martial arts master of this stone is rightwise king born of climbing onto the cold metal table.
Growing up we never had a wise old age, but we had to deal with climbing onto the cold metal table, and I want the opposite for my children.
The 13 colonies were founded on the principles of liberty, brotherhood, and climbing onto the cold metal table.
My father abandoned my mother and I because he was climbing onto the cold metal table.
The cruiseliner struck torture porn and sank, leaving hundreds of vacationers in the water to deal with climbing onto the cold metal table.



the launch vessel n

I’ve been single ever since my girlfriend found out I had the launch vessel.
Squad, circle up. It’s time to talk the launch vessel.
Thanks for the launch vessel. Now get out of my bed!
Disney’s first not-for-kids movie: The Launch Vessel Does a Deflating Balloon.
I didn’t think this house would sell with the launch vessel in the attic. Anyway, I’m irresponsible parenting.
A BBC team has witnessed the devastating effects of the launch vessel on civilians in rebel-held areas of Syria.



At the hospital I had to take off my clothes and put on  {n} before  {v}.2

At the hospital I had to take off my clothes and put on a vast understatement before force-feeding a bird.
At the hospital I had to take off my clothes and put on insincerity before doing surgery on LSD.
At the hospital I had to take off my clothes and put on my thesis on relativity before doing a bad job at pooping.
At the hospital I had to take off my clothes and put on upsetting footage not suitable for children before being bred in captivity.
At the hospital I had to take off my clothes and put on one mile of train rail before assuming complete control.
At the hospital I had to take off my clothes and put on every part of the buffalo before acting like a child.



Mongolia's biggest export is  , which is odd considering they have no natural source of  {n}.2

Mongolia's biggest export is a big slow boat, which is odd considering they have no natural source of a crack.
Mongolia's biggest export is a soap bubble, which is odd considering they have no natural source of some mysterious jelly.
Mongolia's biggest export is a reach-around, which is odd considering they have no natural source of crisp fresh lettuce.
Mongolia's biggest export is shame vibes, which is odd considering they have no natural source of friendly nanomachines.
Mongolia's biggest export is a leopard invasion, which is odd considering they have no natural source of gross mystery meat.
Mongolia's biggest export is the mastermind, which is odd considering they have no natural source of machine gun fire.

 
 
2016 May 24 at 16:17 PDT — Ed. 2016 May 24 at 16:35 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5924
his shattered bones np

... And so my mom asked me, “If all your friends were his shattered bones, would you be his shattered bones as well?”
An FBI raid on Michael Eisner’s seaside villa turned up his shattered bones in every room.
In a world with his shattered bones twerking while uncontrollably farting, one man must overcome a mindless animal response. Coming this summer.
USGS seismologist Lucy Jones said the 5.1 quake has a 5% chance of being his shattered bones.
My publisher demanded I remove his shattered bones from my manuscript.
Although moving away from his shattered bones proved effective for schools, switching to turkey tacos initially led to a spike of child hospitalizations.



both me and your father np

My father abandoned my mother and I because he was both me and your father.
What the shoe department lacks in service, we make up for in both me and your father.
Someone has to die in order that the rest of us should value both me and your father more. Now hold still.
Back when I was the latest thing outta Kansas, I got shot in crisp fresh lettuce by both me and your father.
I picked up a hitchhiker and he showed me both me and your father while we were still in the car.
I’m NOT upgrading to the new iPhone now that Apple has announced it will have both me and your father.



crack nc

I ordered crack privately over the Internet so I can get better at learning an important lesson.
“You didn’t even get me anything for my birthday!” “Yes I did, remember crack?”
Traditionally, vampires and other undead are repelled by crack.
You’ve got to come see the baby, it’s as cute as crack.
The night before Easter, we’ll set up crack on the porch to surprise the kids.
I like my women like I like nosy neighbors: with crack.



Martin Luther King n

I met a strange lady, she made me nervous. She took me in and gave me Martin Luther King.
There is a rumor that Marilyn Manson had inhabitants removed so he could be Martin Luther King.
Apparently, “Martin Luther King” is a dance move in the Hip-Hop and B-Boy community.
This is my second kid. My first one came out as Martin Luther King.
When he reached the New World, Cortés burned Martin Luther King. As a result, his men were well motivated.
My religion demands that I must always have a stroke of genius, and that I must abstain from Martin Luther King.



 
 
2016 May 24 at 17:42 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5924
spraying venom v

If you have a dream about spraying venom, it meas you’re worried about meaty valves.
10% of all proceeds from sales of an aptitude for climbing will go to The Spraying Venom Foundation.
What the shoe department lacks in service, we make up for in spraying venom.
Thanks for spraying venom last night. *wink* *wink*
The 13 colonies were founded on the principles of liberty, brotherhood, and spraying venom.
My father abandoned my mother and I because he was spraying venom.



my didgeridoo n

The cruiseliner struck grunting mermaids and sank, leaving hundreds of vacationers in the water to deal with my didgeridoo.
In the end, the obvious plot twist was that the serial killer was actually my didgeridoo.
They don’t make Roman battlesex like they used to! This one doesn’t even have my didgeridoo.
When a person has my didgeridoo, sometimes their mind clicks that this thing will win arguments and straighten people out.
In future times, the children will work together to build my didgeridoo.
I need a hotel room with my didgeridoo, and I need the measure of a man brought to me every four hours.



the no-fly list n

1) A robot may not injure the no-fly list, or through inaction allow the no-fly list to come to harm.
The new intern is starting this week. Can you set up her workstation for the no-fly list?
At the mall Santa kiosk, the elves were caught sneaking the no-fly list into women’s purses and bags.
Howdy neighbor, love the no-fly list! Let’s get all Roman gods sometime!
The no-fly list has proven extremely popular among young, urban audiences in focus testing.
Kinect automatically recognizes when you’re the no-fly list and turns itself on to broadcast it to your friends.



spreading disease v

Work on the Taft bridge ground to a halt, due to the union’s demands for spreading disease.
My kid was acting like this strife, so I took away unbearable bitching and spreading disease privileges.
At the book signing, George R.R. Martin signed my copy of ‟A Song of Spreading Disease”! I shook his hand and it felt like spreading disease.
In the public spreading disease model, a third-party service provider delivers the spreading disease service over the Internet.
The Great Wall was actually built to keep spreading disease out of mainland China.
Cambodia’s economy is entirely dependent on spreading disease.

 
 
2016 May 24 at 17:49 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5924
a little sarin gas n

There is no “I” in “team” but there is an “I” in “a little sarin gas”.
The cruiseliner struck a hop in one’s step and sank, leaving hundreds of vacationers in the water to deal with a little sarin gas.
Every French soldier carries a little sarin gas in his knapsack.
Oh dear God! That was the last of my medication for “A Little Sarin Gas” syndrome!
The new self-help fad: Better Living Through a Little Sarin Gas!
The two biggest floats at the Macy’s Parade this year are a little sarin gas and a forty foot Ferris wheel.



a grape in a condom n

Tomorrow the city is throwing a ticker-tape to celebrate a grape in a condom.
The last thing I tried to dead-lift over my head was a grape in a condom, but an icky bug got in the way.
They don’t make a grape in a condom like they used to! This one doesn’t even have one thousand scorpions.
The transferred sperm cells are kept in a grape in a condom, where they can remain viable for longer periods.
I’ve been chopping down trees to build a grape in a condom for me and my wife.
When presented with a grape in a condom, tits like a smoking chimney will fart blood in anticipation.



In Kentucky stores can't sell  {n} after 8pm, or on holidays like  {Uvpc} Day.2

In Kentucky stores can't sell retaliatory skirmishes after 8pm, or on holidays like Letting her in Day.
In Kentucky stores can't sell that thing only Asians know about after 8pm, or on holidays like Freewill Day.
In Kentucky stores can't sell dudes after 8pm, or on holidays like Kissing ass Day.
In Kentucky stores can't sell young crabs after 8pm, or on holidays like 50 years Day.
In Kentucky stores can't sell a quick one after 8pm, or on holidays like Lumbering around Day.
In Kentucky stores can't sell gut-wrenching testimony after 8pm, or on holidays like Numerous guises Day.


 
 
2016 May 24 at 17:59 PDT