SuperJer Against Humanity Suggestions PART 2

SuperJer Against Humanity Suggestions PART 2

General — Page 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, [39], 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 49, 50, 51, 52, 53, 54, 55, 56, 57, 58, 59, 60, 61, 62, 63, 64, 65, 66, 67, 68, 69, 70, 71, 72, 73, 74, 75, 76, 77, 78, 79, 80, 81, 82, 83, 84, 85, 86, 87, 88, 89, 90, 91, 92, 93, 94, 95, 96, 97
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5698
Just trying something...

The new artsy indie game " {UT}" is a deeply emotional exploration of  .2

The new artsy indie game "Just Plain Racism" is a deeply emotional exploration of ample legroom.
The new artsy indie game "A Suitcase Full of Guns and Money" is a deeply emotional exploration of tender pinches.
The new artsy indie game "Little Turds Everywhere" is a deeply emotional exploration of a humorless Japanese businessman.
The new artsy indie game "Beautiful Girl Hair" is a deeply emotional exploration of a head full of teeth.
The new artsy indie game "A Rocket with a Mouse Strapped on" is a deeply emotional exploration of a list of names.
The new artsy indie game "A Prelude to Battle" is a deeply emotional exploration of no clean towels.

 
 
2016 Oct 18 at 14:06 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5698
In this troubling election we must choose between one candidate, who is  {sv}; and another, who is  {sv}.2

In this troubling election we must choose between one candidate, who is a tiny Jamaican; and another, who is up in it.
In this troubling election we must choose between one candidate, who is a quickie; and another, who is dad.
In this troubling election we must choose between one candidate, who is a hanging vine; and another, who is the last man in the room.
In this troubling election we must choose between one candidate, who is Krampus, the child punisher; and another, who is a gut.
In this troubling election we must choose between one candidate, who is “that feeling”; and another, who is my womanly virtue.
In this troubling election we must choose between one candidate, who is twerking over his grave; and another, who is something even sexier.

 
 
2016 Oct 18 at 14:08 PDT — Ed. 2016 Oct 18 at 14:09 PDT
Nezumi
Asshole Admin

1-Up Medal
2005 Mar 26 • 553
175 ₧
getting stepped on by a dominatrix v

If you see your dog scooting his butt on the carpet, it probably mean he’s getting stepped on by a dominatrix.
At the new circus in town, three jugglers throw each other a dead clown on the stairs, while a man is getting stepped on by a dominatrix on a galloping horse.
Ever since nature’s candy appeared in the neighborhood, getting stepped on by a dominatrix has been eyed with suspicion.
Don’t look at me while I’m getting stepped on by a dominatrix! It messes me up!
I don’t give money to the homeless. Instead I provide getting stepped on by a dominatrix directly.
Growing up we never had the death simulator, but we had to deal with getting stepped on by a dominatrix, and I want the opposite for my children.

 
 
2016 Oct 20 at 02:07 PDT — Ed. 2016 Oct 20 at 02:08 PDT
aaronjer
*****'n Admin

Comrade General 5-Star
2005 Mar 21 • 4599
1,227 ₧
treasuring the good things in life v

Welcome to Denny’s®! I am treasuring the good things in life. Would you like to try our new special, going down the garbage disposal?
At my workplace, robots have replaced the humans for treasuring the good things in life and lumbering around at the assembly line.
At the book signing, George R.R. Martin signed my copy of ‟A Song of Treasuring the Good Things in Life”! I shook his hand and it felt like treasuring the good things in life.
... And so my mom asked me, “If all your friends were treasuring the good things in life, would you be treasuring the good things in life as well?”
The band hadn’t started playing when the stage effect with lifeless husks went off early, ejecting treasuring the good things in life into the air!
My new phone looks like it’s treasuring the good things in life but I don’t mind. It makes calls.

 
 
2016 Oct 20 at 09:30 PDT
aaronjer
*****'n Admin

Comrade General 5-Star
2005 Mar 21 • 4599
1,227 ₧
I was surprised to find bones in  {n}. Is that normal?

I was surprised to find bones in female breast tissue. Is that normal?
I was surprised to find bones in no clean towels. Is that normal?
I was surprised to find bones in a big ol’ fruit. Is that normal?
I was surprised to find bones in a quiver of love arrows. Is that normal?
I was surprised to find bones in 80,000 tons of nuclear waste. Is that normal?
I was surprised to find bones in sudsy bodies. Is that normal?

 
 
2016 Oct 20 at 09:32 PDT — Ed. 2016 Oct 20 at 09:33 PDT
aaronjer
*****'n Admin

Comrade General 5-Star
2005 Mar 21 • 4599
1,227 ₧
My girlfriend kicked  {n}, and now she's  . I want to break up with her but I'm afraid!2

My girlfriend kicked a hanging body, and now she's a madhouse! A madhouse!. I want to break up with her but I'm afraid!
My girlfriend kicked a back-breaking zit, and now she's a do-gooder. I want to break up with her but I'm afraid!
My girlfriend kicked a forgotten relic, and now she's black lace. I want to break up with her but I'm afraid!
My girlfriend kicked the S.W.A.T. team, and now she's being fucking dead. I want to break up with her but I'm afraid!
My girlfriend kicked ill-advised business decisions, and now she's your idiot ideas. I want to break up with her but I'm afraid!
My girlfriend kicked damage, and now she's a caring, understanding man. I want to break up with her but I'm afraid!

 
 
2016 Oct 20 at 09:34 PDT
aaronjer
*****'n Admin

Comrade General 5-Star
2005 Mar 21 • 4599
1,227 ₧
I popped the zit on my back, there was stuff that looked like  {n} in there!

I popped the zit on my back, there was stuff that looked like a hearty 8-pound pork roast in there!
I popped the zit on my back, there was stuff that looked like victory or death in there!
I popped the zit on my back, there was stuff that looked like turkey tacos in there!
I popped the zit on my back, there was stuff that looked like a gaggle of nuns in there!
I popped the zit on my back, there was stuff that looked like a mind such as yours in there!
I popped the zit on my back, there was stuff that looked like intestines draped everywhere in there!

 
 
2016 Oct 20 at 10:00 PDT — Ed. 2016 Oct 20 at 10:01 PDT
Nezumi
Asshole Admin

1-Up Medal
2005 Mar 26 • 553
175 ₧
the breezeway of mysteries n

The Halifax bridge failed under the intense weight of the breezeway of mysteries, so the temporary replacement uses oil-covered birds.
We’re having a garage sale to get rid of the breezeway of mysteries, the digital bonus pack, and a tribal village.
These wounds were given to me by the beast of legend. Part of it was unneeded bulk, part was an invisible wall, and it was crowned with the breezeway of mysteries.
This workplace has gone (0) days without the breezeway of mysteries.
My kid was acting like the breezeway of mysteries, so I took away moral ambiguity privileges.
The raunchy adult film that’s got parent’s groups scrambling: The Breezeway of Mysteries Does a Lumberjack Orgy.

 
 
2016 Oct 20 at 12:15 PDT
aaronjer
*****'n Admin

Comrade General 5-Star
2005 Mar 21 • 4599
1,227 ₧
getting hella preggers v

Experts said that based on preliminary data, getting hella preggers appears to have occurred on the Puente Hills thrust fault.
Nancy Drew and the Mystery of Getting Hella Preggers.
When something even wetter is ready, getting hella preggers will appear.
Thanks for getting hella preggers. Now get out of my bed!
The new self-help fad: Better Living Through Getting Hella Preggers!
Men, like a bandsaw, go farthest when they are getting hella preggers.

 
 
2016 Oct 20 at 13:39 PDT
aaronjer
*****'n Admin

Comrade General 5-Star
2005 Mar 21 • 4599
1,227 ₧
an entire field of carrots n

The city put in new road signs to indicate an entire field of carrots just up ahead.
In this game you get to collect embers and craft an entire field of carrots.
The weird payment system at the grocery store makes me put an entire field of carrots in the slot, but I forget to take it out.
Lonely guys in Japan can buy an entire field of carrots that sounds like a girl and will even go to bed with them.
The Chinese government has blocked all websites related to an entire field of carrots.
They said an entire field of carrots was out of my league, and that I'd never eve get freaky with the last condom.

 
 
2016 Oct 20 at 13:43 PDT
aaronjer
*****'n Admin

Comrade General 5-Star
2005 Mar 21 • 4599
1,227 ₧
my prize petunias n

I booby-trapped my yard so that trespassers will be surprised by my prize petunias.
Last Christmas, I gave you my prize petunias. The very next day, you gave it away.
The 7 deadly sins: lust, gluttony, my prize petunias, sloth, wrath, a mind-erasing kit, and pride.
A scandal erupted this week when prime ministers of Australia and Canada were caught with my prize petunias.
The new Ford F-750 with more torque than my prize petunias.
I buried my treasure under my prize petunias so you’d never find it!

 
 
2016 Oct 20 at 13:45 PDT — Ed. 2016 Oct 20 at 13:45 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5698
aaronjer said:
I booby-trapped my yard so that trespassers will be surprised by my prize petunias.


How delightful!

the blast radius n

When the celestial spheres align, the blast radius will descend from the heavens.
The raunchy adult film that’s got parent’s groups scrambling: A Screaming Dog Does the Blast Radius.
There is no revenge so complete as the blast radius.
Don’t shake the blast radius so hard, it’ll start black magic orgasms.
I met this hot chick online. She says she’s the blast radius and I think I believe her!
Monopoly: Halitosis Edition comes with nosy neighbors and the blast radius instead of houses and hotels.



a rough handling n

Dear diary, today I went into the city and saw a rough handling for the first time!
Experts said that based on preliminary data, a rough handling appears to have occurred on the Puente Hills thrust fault.
Aww! My mom packed a terrible lunch: Fairy tales and a rough handling.
1) A robot may not injure a rough handling, or through inaction allow a rough handling to come to harm.
Thank you ladies and gentlemen! For my next performance art piece, I will be a rough handling.
I can’t shake the feeling there’s always a rough handling just around the corner.



shaking me till I wake up v

This year’s hottest new fashion is shaking me till I wake up on your head.
The name for Idaho was derived from a Shoshone language term meaning “shaking me till I wake up.”
We need more black cards! Maybe another one about shaking me till I wake up, but with hounding the family dog!
The water tower looks like it’s shaking me till I wake up from this angle.
On my way to work today, I had to swerve around shaking me till I wake up on the freeway.
There is no “I” in “team” but there is an “I” in “shaking me till I wake up”.



 
 
2016 Oct 20 at 14:03 PDT
Nezumi
Asshole Admin

1-Up Medal
2005 Mar 26 • 553
175 ₧
several clones of hitler np

I’ll never know why my grandparents find several clones of hitler so relaxing.
President Putin’s approval rating shot to nearly 100% when the Russian government began several clones of hitler.
Ever since rigid peen appeared in the neighborhood, several clones of hitler has been eyed with suspicion.
I got into my car and sat on several clones of hitler. Slowly, a smile crept over my face.
Shepherds in Scotland have used a very hot pan for years to keep the flock from several clones of hitler.
Strangely, right before Hitler killed himself, he had several clones of hitler destroyed and The White House killed as well.

 
 
2016 Oct 21 at 09:43 PDT
Nezumi
Asshole Admin

1-Up Medal
2005 Mar 26 • 553
175 ₧
her penis n

In my wild days I was licking, among other crimes. They finally caught me doing it with her penis on the New Mexico border.
Go, go, Gadget Her Penis!
Growing up in the foster care system, I learned to be her penis if I wanted a new family.
At least I was trying to cheer people up when I took her penis to the funeral.
Don’t look at me while I’m her penis! It messes me up!
Let a syringe of Tabasco host your next party, providing her penis like you’ve never seen before.

 
 
2016 Oct 21 at 09:51 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5698
a man on the inside n

The transferred sperm cells are kept in a man on the inside, where they can remain viable for longer periods.
The 7 deadly sins: lust, gluttony, a man on the inside, sloth, wrath, a light dusting of pubes, and pride.
When the research team activated the interdimensional portal, a man on the inside emerged.
Life without love is like a man on the inside without sustained surface winds or fruit.
Kirkland mom makes $20,000 a week with a man on the inside.
Factory workers at Foxconn who leap out of windows will now be saved by a man on the inside around the building.



frowning vt

My father abandoned my mother and I because he was frowning.
The school district had to pay a lot of hush money to parents after the “frowning” incident in the science lab.
Here on the assembly line we heat a wall of spikes to a steaming, bright cherry red, and this next machine over here is frowning.
It’s not delivery. It’s frowning.
Chimps in the wild have been observed using frowning to forage for food.
President Putin’s approval rating shot to nearly 100% when the Russian government began frowning.



smiling vt

Help! I’m smiling and I need YOU to do something about it!
Some anarchist made the sign over the expressway say “THE STATE IS THE BEST OF US SMILING.”
Throughout human history, smiling has been the first activity of explorers of any new region.
Kinect automatically recognizes when you’re smiling and turns itself on to broadcast it to your friends.
Pool rules: No running. No smiling. Keep a coked up hooker out of the deep end.
Can you come get me? I agreed to go with some guys who promised me smiling and it’s getting weird.

 
 
2016 Oct 21 at 11:27 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5698
measuring vt

This workplace has gone (0) days without measuring.
Ever since I got back from Mexico I’ve been really into measuring.
My car looks like it’s measuring but I don’t mind. It gets me from point A to point B.
I want to say one word to you, just one word: measuring.
Howdy neighbor, love flipping over and spraying into the air! Let’s get measuring sometime!
And my mother said, “How come you’re not measuring like your brother?”



increasing in size v

Ever since the accident, I freeze in terror at the sight of increasing in size.
Increasing in size is the only way to say goodbye.
In public restrooms, I’m always afraid someone will walk in, all increasing in size, right while I’m wiring money to far off lands.
I booby-trapped my yard so that trespassers will be surprised by increasing in size.
Always walk into an interview with curious, probing tendrils and confidence, and you’ll get the job. Unless they hate increasing in size.
My nightly ritual involves increasing in size, ideological differences, and finally a lounge full of dandies just as I fall asleep.



escaping from the zoo v

... And so my mom asked me, “If all your friends were escaping from the zoo, would you be escaping from the zoo as well?”
The new bill before congress would mandate escaping from the zoo in all K-through-12 classrooms.
I ordered the finest quality cheese privately over the Internet so I can get better at escaping from the zoo.
It’s important to pack the essentials when camping, such as water, first aid, my picture, toilet paper, shelter, and escaping from the zoo.
I’ll never know why my grandparents find escaping from the zoo so relaxing.
The 13 colonies were founded on the principles of liberty, brotherhood, and escaping from the zoo.

 
 
2016 Oct 21 at 15:37 PDT — Ed. 2016 Oct 21 at 15:39 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5698
 {U} is the spice of  {n}.2

A Kazakhstani grandma is the spice of curious bisexuals.
A complete joke is the spice of Princess Perfect.
Getting HUGE is the spice of a skin tag.
Sticker residue is the spice of a cornhole.
My bruised thighs is the spice of a pregnant teen.
Black market organs is the spice of a urologist.

 
 
2016 Oct 21 at 16:25 PDT — Ed. 2016 Oct 21 at 17:16 PDT
Nezumi
Asshole Admin

1-Up Medal
2005 Mar 26 • 553
175 ₧
sneezing blood v

I booby-trapped my yard so that trespassers will be surprised by sneezing blood.
Peter Molyneux’s new game will use facial recognition to explore sneezing blood in a very realistic way.
A lifetime of sneezing blood awaits. Call now for a free consultation.
My publisher demanded I remove sneezing blood from my manuscript because it’s “not decent.”
Their rising all at once was as the sound of sneezing blood heard remote.
These wounds were given to me by the beast of legend. Part of it was the last wish of a dying man, part was sneezing blood, and it was crowned with reasonable stereotypes.

 
 
2016 Oct 21 at 21:07 PDT — Ed. 2016 Oct 21 at 21:09 PDT
Nezumi
Asshole Admin

1-Up Medal
2005 Mar 26 • 553
175 ₧
Bill Murray's puppydog eyes np

When the research team activated the interdimensional portal, Bill Murray's puppydog eyes emerged.
Squad, circle up. It’s time to talk Bill Murray's puppydog eyes.
When I told my father he shouted, “No daughter of mine is going out with Bill Murray's puppydog eyes!”
Lonely guys in Japan can buy Bill Murray's puppydog eyes that sounds like a girl and will even go to bed with them.
You stole Bill Murray's puppydog eyes from a charity? That’s like taking candy from a baby! You’re making it weird and you’re going to hell!
Who so pulleth out good people of this stone is rightwise king born of Bill Murray's puppydog eyes.

 
 
2016 Oct 21 at 21:17 PDT
Nezumi
Asshole Admin

1-Up Medal
2005 Mar 26 • 553
175 ₧
the grossest whiff of minty poot n

Welcome to Denny’s®! I am a nurse. Would you like to try our new special, the grossest whiff of minty poot?
But I promised my kids they could get the grossest whiff of minty poot for Christmas!
Traffic is backed up for 7 miles due to an overturned semi hauling the grossest whiff of minty poot. The driver was laughing and lying.
India is launching a rocket to test the effects of micro-gravity on the grossest whiff of minty poot.
The first item of evidence in The People vs. The Grossest Whiff of Minty Poot is ice cold seawater.
If my neighbor doesn’t get the grossest whiff of minty poot off my property, I’m calling the cops!

 
 
2016 Oct 21 at 21:40 PDT
Nezumi
Asshole Admin

1-Up Medal
2005 Mar 26 • 553
175 ₧
his vagina n

I met a strange lady, she made me nervous. She took me in and gave me his vagina.
Terrified, I scrambled up the tree, with his vagina jumping and nipping at me from below and even getting too excited.
Always walk into an interview with his vagina and confidence, and you’ll get the job. Unless they hate space madness.
Online trolls turned Microsoft’s teen girl AI into some kind of a real value-loving bot that hates his vagina.
This workplace has gone (0) days without his vagina.
Strangely, right before Hitler killed himself, he had smooth bastard destroyed and his vagina killed as well.

 
 
2016 Oct 21 at 21:42 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5698
coffee and pickles np

Coffee and pickles produces an egg which, for one month, must stay under “that feeling” to keep warm.
President Putin’s approval rating shot to nearly 100% when the Russian government began coffee and pickles.
There is a rumor that Marilyn Manson had ropes removed so he could be coffee and pickles.
Bumper sticker: My other ride is coffee and pickles.
Coffee and pickles isn’t getting old, but I sure am!
The survey team detected family life at the work site so I threw coffee and pickles in my truck and drove straight there.



slicing it open v

The thief was caught stealing a dollar from the sultan, and so was thrown into the pit of slicing it open.
Every morning I hop out of bed and get straight to slicing it open, even before I put on my clothes.
I heard you can rent a friend in Tokyo, but only if one of you is slicing it open.
For 35 years I’ve done this job for the same pay, slicing it open every single day.
Help! I’m slicing it open and I need YOU to do something about it!
When the beef came at me it was like slicing it open.



throwing up a skull in the trash can v

Our mystical secret society is dedicated to elucidating the mysteries of my exoskeleton throwing up a skull in the trash can.
Then God said, “Let there be throwing up a skull in the trash can”; and there was throwing up a skull in the trash can. And God saw that throwing up a skull in the trash can was good.
Wake turbulence, also known as throwing up a skull in the trash can, is turbulence that forms behind a complete wimp as it passes through the air.
The President’s unimaginative campaign slogan: Throwing up a Skull in the Trash Can.
I tried a complete set of cybernetic implants but it was too tight. Then I tried throwing up a skull in the trash can but it was TOO LOOSE.
It’s not delivery. It’s throwing up a skull in the trash can.

 
 
2016 Oct 22 at 13:05 PDT
aaronjer
*****'n Admin

Comrade General 5-Star
2005 Mar 21 • 4599
1,227 ₧
a fanatic disciple of the evil goddess n

You’ve got to come see the baby, it’s as cute as a fanatic disciple of the evil goddess.
I wasn’t always black... there was a fanatic disciple of the evil goddess, and it got bigger and bigger.
Can you come get me? I agreed to go with some guys who promised me a fanatic disciple of the evil goddess and it’s getting weird.
Although moving away from a deceitful word proved effective for schools, the switch to a fanatic disciple of the evil goddess initially led to a spike of child hospitalizations.
When the beef came at me it was like a fanatic disciple of the evil goddess.
Come on down to Golden Corral™ for a fanatic disciple of the evil goddess.

 
 
2016 Oct 22 at 17:08 PDT
aaronjer
*****'n Admin

Comrade General 5-Star
2005 Mar 21 • 4599
1,227 ₧
the inevitable gruesome execution n

My house. 8 o’clock. The inevitable gruesome execution.
I found out why I’m always sick... they found the inevitable gruesome execution in the walls at my office.
You evaded my “The Inevitable Gruesome Execution” attack! Most impressive.
I went rafting, saw the inevitable gruesome execution in the river, no big deal.
Growing up in the foster care system, I learned to be the inevitable gruesome execution if I wanted a new family.
I’ve been chopping down trees to build the inevitable gruesome execution for me and my wife.

 
 
2016 Oct 22 at 17:29 PDT
aaronjer
*****'n Admin

Comrade General 5-Star
2005 Mar 21 • 4599
1,227 ₧
making Brian poop v

The new Harley-Davidson hog’s got killers painted on both sides, which some say encourages making Brian poop.
Wake turbulence, also known as making Brian poop, is turbulence that forms behind demons as it passes through the air.
My life coach told me that to maximise my positive energy flow, I should alternate between rolling in it and making Brian poop.
In this 15th century painting, making Brian poop is represented by a man with I don’t know what, but BILLIONS of them for a head.
I’ll never know why my grandparents find making Brian poop so relaxing.
Ha! You activated my trap card, “Making Brian Poop!” You’re cursed with failure abroad until the end of the game!

 
 
2016 Oct 22 at 20:36 PDT — Ed. 2016 Oct 22 at 20:36 PDT
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