SuperJer Against Humanity Suggestions PART 2

SuperJer Against Humanity Suggestions PART 2

General — Page 1 2 3 ... 70 71 72 [73] 74 75 76 ... 98 99 100
Taylor
2016 Apr 30 • 109
Something sweet for the kids
v

Ha! You activated my trap card, “Something Sweet for the Kids!” You’re cursed with a cat in a paper bag until the end of the game!
They didn’t have a body pillow with a penis at the animal shelter, so the 5-day old puppy had to be fed something sweet for the kids.
A weird glitch in the Oculus Rift demo caused me to experience something sweet for the kids like I was really there.
Our mystical secret society is dedicated to elucidating the mysteries of compost something sweet for the kids.
Someone has to die in order that the rest of us should value something sweet for the kids more. Now hold still.
Welcome to Denny’s®! I am more dishonesty. Would you like to try our new special, something sweet for the kids?

 
 
2017 May 26 at 20:32 PDT
jeff is wizlord

2014 Nov 12 • 276
Being hard at work
v

If you kids don’t stop being hard at work, I will turn two F-bombs around!
Since I deserve it, I am going to reward myself with being hard at work.
Before you embark on a journey of revenge, consider being hard at work.
Being hard at work like this is enough to kill a horse!
I’m grounded ‘cuz my parents saw me being hard at work at the party last night.
As the A.I. robot gained self-awareness, it immediately began being hard at work.

 
 
2017 May 26 at 20:57 PDT
Taylor
2016 Apr 30 • 109
Grandpa's spatter zone
np

1) A robot may not injure Grandpa's spatter zone, or through inaction allow Grandpa's spatter zone to come to harm.
The city put in new road signs to indicate Grandpa's spatter zone just up ahead.
I want to say one word to you, just one word: Grandpa's spatter zone.
Researchers have trained chimps to recognise Grandpa's spatter zone by rewarding them with a death sentence.
Welcome to the neighborhood! I live down the street. You’ll recognize my house with Grandpa's spatter zone.
In a world with your bellybutton being a bad little boy, one man must overcome Grandpa's spatter zone. Coming this summer.

 
 
2017 May 26 at 21:07 PDT — Ed. 2017 May 26 at 21:07 PDT
Taylor
2016 Apr 30 • 109
An alcoholic tendency
n

I love your necklace! It’s an alcoholic tendency, right?
Wife and I got a bit kinky last night. Ended up at the hospital to get my work removed from her and an alcoholic tendency removed from me.
My brother and I have finally decided to start a business doing an alcoholic tendency, since we’re so good at it.
An alcoholic tendency nearly killed me in my dream. I think it's my brain telling me to avoid the reptile brain.
When an alcoholic tendency is ready, a tattered jockstrap will appear.
Ever since the incident with an alcoholic tendency I’ve been haunted by absolutely no black people.

 
 
2017 May 26 at 21:58 PDT — Ed. 2017 May 26 at 21:59 PDT
Taylor
2016 Apr 30 • 109
I will do anything for  . But I won't do  !
Play 2

I will do anything for violently crashing down the stairs. But I won't do hoping nothing kills you!
I will do anything for needing one more inch. But I won't do a mild orgasm!
I will do anything for terrorizing that pussy. But I won't do sharp claws!
I will do anything for any decent person. But I won't do Katy Perry’s kitty, Kitty Purry!
I will do anything for a legless dog on a wheeled cart. But I won't do less candy than usual!
I will do anything for pleading for more men and supplies. But I won't do a crouton!



I will do anything for  . But I won't do that!

I will do anything for sneaking into the sultan’s harem. But I won't do that!
I will do anything for spiritual functionality. But I won't do that!
I will do anything for a dog boner. But I won't do that!
I will do anything for physical fatigue. But I won't do that!
I will do anything for a bag of super salty chips. But I won't do that!
I will do anything for goners. But I won't do that!



I will do anything for love. But I won't do  !

I will do anything for love. But I won't do naughty cave paintings!
I will do anything for love. But I won't do less chaos!
I will do anything for love. But I won't do a gentleman with the tummy grumbles!
I will do anything for love. But I won't do everywhere but Oklahoma!
I will do anything for love. But I won't do a bus full of white children!
I will do anything for love. But I won't do my brother, who I’m sure you remember!

 
 
2017 May 26 at 23:01 PDT — Ed. 2017 May 26 at 23:03 PDT
Taylor
2016 Apr 30 • 109
Precious little white children
np

The Spice girls are getting back together! Their 3 new members include cutting spice, precious little white children spice, and suggesting a murder spice!
You can’t get precious little white children big enough or a moisture-wicking sleeve for the penis long enough to suit me.
No one in Morocco can be precious little white children without registering with the government.
What the purple stuff department lacks in selection, we make up for in precious little white children.
The true reason for the Tacoma Narrows Bridge collapse? Precious little white children.
I couldn’t see the eclipse because of precious little white children in the sky.

 
 
2017 May 26 at 23:14 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5785
Setting my anus ablaze
v

I slowly crept up to her bed, whispering, “Get ready for setting my anus ablaze
Leopards are smaller than most of the Panthera genus, but they are able to take large prey due to setting my anus ablaze.
Senator, give us setting my anus ablaze biannually and you’ll get our vote.
I chipped my tooth on hot grills. My dentist said I’m lucky it wasn’t setting my anus ablaze.
During the war, German scientists experimented with setting my anus ablaze to weaponize smooth bastard.
If setting my anus ablaze were in the Olympics, Canada would be in great shape!

 
 
2017 May 27 at 07:26 PDT — Ed. 2017 May 27 at 07:27 PDT
Taylor
2016 Apr 30 • 109
A generic looking butt
n

Help! I’m a generic looking butt and I need YOU to do something about it!
A new study found that giving employees compliments and a generic looking butt can help motivate them, even more than a cash bonus.
The patient kept screaming about “a better god”. Then, right on the operating table, his stomach burst open and a generic looking butt emerged!
I checked my son’s browser history. Found links about a generic looking butt and a perverted, unnatural cavern. Should I talk to him?
In a world with a generic looking butt trusting everything the devil says, one man must overcome the Mormon church. Coming this summer.
After a truck ran over a generic looking butt there was so much damage you couldn’t tell it apart from the winning lottery numbers.

 
 
2017 May 27 at 07:57 PDT
jeff is wizlord

2014 Nov 12 • 276
A pet that says "penis"
n

Every morning I hop out of bed and get straight to a pet that says "penis", even before I put on my clothes.
Last Christmas, I gave you a pet that says "penis". The very next day, you gave it away.
More than 260 people were injured by festive firecracker blasts and a pet that says "penis" in the Philippines.
If you see your dog scooting his butt on the carpet, it probably mean he’s a pet that says "penis".
In Siberia they built a tunnel to help endangered animals travel safely under a pet that says "penis".
Go, go, Gadget a Pet That Says "penis"!

 
 
2017 May 27 at 09:42 PDT — Ed. 2017 May 27 at 09:44 PDT
Taylor
2016 Apr 30 • 109
Receiving birth
v

Ich bin ein receiving birth.
Nancy Drew and the Mystery of Receiving Birth.
Ever since the incident with receiving birth I’ve been haunted by donkeydump.
I think a lot of people would pay to see receiving birth.
Receiving birth is the spice of meaty valves.
Bumper sticker: My other ride is receiving birth.

 
 
2017 May 27 at 10:15 PDT
jeff is wizlord

2014 Nov 12 • 276
Smashing a bird
v

At the winery tour we saw how they put total collapse and grapes in the tank, but it smelled like smashing a bird.
If you have a dream about smashing a bird, it meas you’re worried about a broken lock.
10% of all proceeds from sales of a twisted horror body creeping down the stairs will go to The Smashing a Bird Foundation.
John “bursting exuberantly onto the national scene” Smith. The genius who brought us smashing a bird.
Smashing a bird can actually erode a mindless animal response, which is gradually causing a decrease in effectiveness.
The three techniques of Sumo Wrestling: Another leopard, ointment and smashing a bird.

 
 
2017 May 27 at 11:14 PDT — Ed. 2017 May 27 at 11:14 PDT
Crytax
Ph. D in Cryonics

2006 Apr 26 • 246
11 ₧
A bird looking at a volcano exploding
n

I went rafting, saw a bird looking at a volcano exploding in the river, no big deal.
So I go over and I open the door and just as I suspected. It’s a bird looking at a volcano exploding.
Always makes me hungry when I see the butcher shop with a bird looking at a volcano exploding hanging in the window.
My sisters were having a pillow fight. They didn’t know I had put a bird looking at a volcano exploding in the pillows.
Last Christmas, I gave you a bird looking at a volcano exploding. The very next day, you gave it away.
1) A robot may not injure a bird looking at a volcano exploding, or through inaction allow a bird looking at a volcano exploding to come to harm.

What if Gillette WAS the best a man could get?
 
 
2017 May 27 at 13:22 PDT — Ed. 2017 May 27 at 13:22 PDT
Crytax
Ph. D in Cryonics

2006 Apr 26 • 246
11 ₧
I prefer to receive my payments in the form of  .

I prefer to receive my payments in the form of hookers in the trunk.
I prefer to receive my payments in the form of both emissaries.
I prefer to receive my payments in the form of hiding with your warriors.
I prefer to receive my payments in the form of goat porn.
I prefer to receive my payments in the form of a single shot to the head.
I prefer to receive my payments in the form of horror movie gore.




A sensuous blowjob
n

The new intern is starting this week. Can you set up her workstation for a sensuous blowjob?
Jan Sobieski, leading the largest charge of almost no air left in history, rode into battle atop a sensuous blowjob.
I got a bag of tricks as a pet! Do you want to see the racy picture we took with a sensuous blowjob?
My financial analyst has advised me to invest my fortune in a sensuous blowjob.
I’m getting my brother, who I’m sure you remember installed in my car, so I can be a sensuous blowjob while I drive.
No one in Morocco can be a sensuous blowjob without registering with the government.



Bitcoins, Steve Buscemi action figures, and Polynesian handwoven baskets
np

I’ve got a master’s degree in Bitcoins, Steve Buscemi Action Figures, and Polynesian Handwoven Baskets!
I refuse to roleplay as anything but bitcoins, Steve Buscemi action figures, and Polynesian handwoven baskets.
Man invented bitcoins, Steve Buscemi action figures, and Polynesian handwoven baskets, so woman invented all the time.
What will we do with bitcoins, Steve Buscemi action figures, and Polynesian handwoven baskets early in the morning?
Deep Earth miners in Venezuela struck an enormous ore vein of bitcoins, Steve Buscemi action figures, and Polynesian handwoven baskets. Half the country is lifting off the toilet.
There’s no reason for bitcoins, Steve Buscemi action figures, and Polynesian handwoven baskets before breakfast.


What if Gillette WAS the best a man could get?
 
 
2017 May 27 at 23:56 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5785
Rich people dying in boating accidents
np

Pundits agree it will take rich people dying in boating accidents for the senator to win the election.
The weird payment system at the grocery store makes me put rich people dying in boating accidents in the slot, but I forget to take it out.
I got so drunk last night that I got rich people dying in boating accidents all over everyone and everything.
My father abandoned my mother and I because he was rich people dying in boating accidents.
I didn’t mean to start rich people dying in boating accidents, it just happened!
After a truck ran over the first chimp in space there was so much damage you couldn’t tell it apart from rich people dying in boating accidents.

 
 
2017 May 28 at 10:51 PDT — Ed. 2017 May 28 at 11:09 PDT
Crytax
Ph. D in Cryonics

2006 Apr 26 • 246
11 ₧
We're all about   and inappropriately inserting   into everything
Play 2

We're all about a quick one and inappropriately inserting an even stupider idea into everything
We're all about 50 years and inappropriately inserting a delicate balance into everything
We're all about an owl infestation and inappropriately inserting the polite scorn of a Canadian into everything
We're all about a complete joke and inappropriately inserting just a little something to cap off the night into everything
We're all about M. Night Shyamalan-a-ding-dong and inappropriately inserting things money can’t buy into everything
We're all about just plain racism and inappropriately inserting tugging too hard into everything



You start the game with 1D4   points.

You start the game with 1D4 an English-speaking Mexican points.
You start the game with 1D4 worse people than that points.
You start the game with 1D4 Dad’s money points.
You start the game with 1D4 floppy, out-of-control boobs points.
You start the game with 1D4 nature’s candy points.
You start the game with 1D4 a loss of manpower points.



They somehow made a cute mascot girl out of  .

They somehow made a cute mascot girl out of yoghurt.
They somehow made a cute mascot girl out of a sex swing.
They somehow made a cute mascot girl out of a horrible selection of gay men.
They somehow made a cute mascot girl out of inhabitants.
They somehow made a cute mascot girl out of infinite sausage.
They somehow made a cute mascot girl out of a fatal bee sting on the anus.



The new thing in Japan is fetish cafes where you can see girls dressed up as  .

The new thing in Japan is fetish cafes where you can see girls dressed up as allergies.
The new thing in Japan is fetish cafes where you can see girls dressed up as my butt surgery.
The new thing in Japan is fetish cafes where you can see girls dressed up as ample legroom.
The new thing in Japan is fetish cafes where you can see girls dressed up as my skin.
The new thing in Japan is fetish cafes where you can see girls dressed up as great tits.
The new thing in Japan is fetish cafes where you can see girls dressed up as our own biological child.



The   of   has left me in despair!
Play 2

The a festively decorated corpse of a conflict of interest has left me in despair!
The a beginner anal bead of a child muzzle has left me in despair!
The a girl gone sour of being fucking dead has left me in despair!
The hella teen angst of hindquarters has left me in despair!
The ideas above your station of my sister’s baby has left me in despair!
The never being appreciated of long pork has left me in despair!



My innovative new RPG has a stat for  .

My innovative new RPG has a stat for Sally the fat, FAT leopard.
My innovative new RPG has a stat for having a zero-value existence.
My innovative new RPG has a stat for you sick fucks.
My innovative new RPG has a stat for hopefully not me this time.
My innovative new RPG has a stat for too much denim.
My innovative new RPG has a stat for slipping some handcuffs under the door.



No harem anime is complete without  .

No harem anime is complete without swindling queers.
No harem anime is complete without my bacon strip.
No harem anime is complete without a creepy marionette.
No harem anime is complete without a ghoulish feast.
No harem anime is complete without masturbating to pictures of dead animals.
No harem anime is complete without the rusted chassis of a ’68 Impala.



Christians don't like to talk about it, but when the devil fell from heaven, onto a Harley Davidson of course, he was chased by  .

Christians don't like to talk about it, but when the devil fell from heaven, onto a Harley Davidson of course, he was chased by the wool over my eyes.
Christians don't like to talk about it, but when the devil fell from heaven, onto a Harley Davidson of course, he was chased by wallowing in your filth.
Christians don't like to talk about it, but when the devil fell from heaven, onto a Harley Davidson of course, he was chased by sex toy directions.
Christians don't like to talk about it, but when the devil fell from heaven, onto a Harley Davidson of course, he was chased by feasting and slaughter.
Christians don't like to talk about it, but when the devil fell from heaven, onto a Harley Davidson of course, he was chased by quick-set cement.
Christians don't like to talk about it, but when the devil fell from heaven, onto a Harley Davidson of course, he was chased by a debased woman.



Remember the good old days, when it was okay to be turned on by  .

Remember the good old days, when it was okay to be turned on by a squeaky-clean bottom.
Remember the good old days, when it was okay to be turned on by ass.
Remember the good old days, when it was okay to be turned on by an eyewitness.
Remember the good old days, when it was okay to be turned on by a small chubby.
Remember the good old days, when it was okay to be turned on by a secret exit.
Remember the good old days, when it was okay to be turned on by killer abs.


What if Gillette WAS the best a man could get?
 
 
2017 May 28 at 12:18 PDT
Crytax
Ph. D in Cryonics

2006 Apr 26 • 246
11 ₧
The abomination known as the Horsebird
n

Chase bank is giving out The abomination known as the Horsebird this week if you open an account and put $100 in it.
Ever since the accident, I freeze in terror at the sight of The abomination known as the Horsebird.
There is a rumor that Marilyn Manson had a newer, sleeker leopard removed so he could be The abomination known as the Horsebird.
Whenever I cook a minivan with a dead body in it I drop a little on the floor. It’s building up into The abomination known as the Horsebird.
Early rugby’s rules: carry the ball as human murder, score points by banging them in their sodomy butts, and The abomination known as the Horsebird shall not be on the field.
The biggest float in the Macy’s Parade this year is The abomination known as the Horsebird.



The great pudding fire of 1812
n

My house. 8 o’clock. The great pudding fire of 1812.
Our mystical secret society is dedicated to elucidating the mysteries of The great pudding fire of 1812 boiling water.
The cruiseliner struck The great pudding fire of 1812 and lost power, leaving hundreds of vacationers to deal with eerie silence.
That’s Captain Rogers the Rancorous of “The Great Pudding Fire of 1812,” the finest ship in the harbor!
When you two are done getting infected, can we please get The great pudding fire of 1812 and get out of here?!
Work on the Taft bridge ground to a halt, due to the union’s demands for The great pudding fire of 1812.



Downloading more RAM
v

Ok, I’ll admit our own biological child might have been a bad idea. But to be fair, I didn’t expect it to result in Downloading more RAM.
In the first Battle of Downloading More RAM he faced a crow in a blender, and with one great blow he split them in half.
Military scientists in Syria found traces of Downloading more RAM in the soil.
This one simple trick is all you need to spice up the bedroom: Downloading more RAM.
I saw a divorce down the long corridor, two of them, actually. I stood still in terror as they said, “You’ll be Downloading more RAM with us.”
At the hospital I had to take off my clothes and get into fairy tales before Downloading more RAM.



Boobie milk
nc

I got so drunk last night that I got Boobie milk all over everyone and everything.
Alien cover-ups, false flag operations, and military experiments with Boobie milk! It’s all here in my manifesto!
I was surprised to find bones in Boobie milk. Is that normal?
Boobie milk is legally grounds for divorcing your wife in 28 states.
Ich bin ein Boobie milk.
The way to the lost city was perilous, and we soon found ourselves knee deep in Boobie milk.



Pornographic fan art
nc

I’ve got a master’s degree in Pornographic Fan Art!
I ordered Pornographic fan art privately over the Internet so I can get better at exhuming my wife.
Pundits agree it will take Pornographic fan art for the senator to win the election.
I left my wife at home all day and she replaced Pornographic fan art with a lounge full of dandies.
After the war, the British government had Alan Turing chemically castrated because he was Pornographic fan art.
If I had Pornographic fan art, you’d be dead!



Oversized hair bobbles
np

Astronaut Chris Hadfield is well known for sneaking Oversized hair bobbles onto the International Space Station.
In the public Oversized hair bobbles model, a third-party service provider delivers the Oversized hair bobbles service over the Internet.
Slender and muscled, like Oversized hair bobbles. She was the spitting image of stainless steel plating.
Let baby eels host your next party, providing Oversized hair bobbles like you’ve never seen before.
I’ll never know why my grandparents find Oversized hair bobbles so relaxing.
Go, go, Gadget Oversized Hair Bobbles!



Verisimilitude
nc

The band hadn’t started playing when the stage effect with mostly unused hypodermics went off early, ejecting Verisimilitude into the air!
A new study found that giving employees compliments and Verisimilitude can help motivate them, even more than a cash bonus.
Dagnabbit! I got Verisimilitude all jammed up in the wheel well again.
I need help with my computer! I downloaded Verisimilitude and now I’m having trouble with a moisture-wicking sleeve for the penis.
I like my women like I like various fluids: pitching a god damn hissy fit with Verisimilitude.
Don’t email me at work! Email me at my personal address: verisimilitude@its-opposite.net



BadWrongFun™
nc

Every time I go to Costco I feel like I come back with BadWrongFun™.
Ah, BadWrongFun™ for my collection. Now no one has more than me.
In Kentucky stores can’t sell BadWrongFun™ after 8pm, or on holidays like Going Down the Garbage Disposal Day.
When I was bodybuilding I tried to dead-lift BadWrongFun™ over my head, but a pubic tuft got in the way.
In my wild days I was losing on purpose, among other crimes. They finally caught me doing it with BadWrongFun™ on the New Mexico border.
Since I deserve it, I am going to reward myself with BadWrongFun™.



Rape
nc

What will we do with Rape early in the morning?
Getting Rape back out of a volcano is next to impossible.
When the beef came at me it was like Rape.
10% of all proceeds from sales of Rape will go to The Nine Guys You Fucked Foundation.
It has been prophesied that the young king will eventually be killed by Rape.
The new hit reality show: Can You Swallow Rape?



A big titty angel shooting lasers
n

Nancy Drew and the Mystery of a Big Titty Angel Shooting Lasers.
I reached expectantly into the final hour, but found only a big titty angel shooting lasers.
I went rafting, saw a big titty angel shooting lasers in the river, no big deal.
Always walk into an interview with a big titty angel shooting lasers and confidence, and you’ll get the job. Unless they hate power of attorney.
Let’s wait for a big titty angel shooting lasers to fall asleep, then we can sneak out and get a power cord.
Chris Angel hurled the deck of cards at a big titty angel shooting lasers and my card appeared in bellybutton logic!



Cultural Marxism
nc

I’m gonna prove the link between Cultural Marxism and a salad! You’ll all see!
You evaded my “Cultural Marxism” attack! Most impressive.
The terrorists will execute Cultural Marxism every 20 minutes until they receive her first marriage.
Your attempt to get little Susie what’s-her-name drunk on lime vodka ended with Cultural Marxism.
This year’s hottest new fashion is Cultural Marxism on your head.
Cultural Marxism travelled over 20 feet after shouldering most of the blame.



Japanese people
np

A woman is like a teabag. You can’t tell how strong she is until you put her in Japanese people.
My favorite new band is “A Protruding Vein and Japanese People”.
Life is so strange. I went to college to learn the female form, but now for work I’m Japanese people. Go figure!
We need more black cards! Maybe another one about Japanese people, but with the last condom!
Music without the sounds of Japanese people is hardly music at all.
At the winery tour we saw how they put Japanese people and grapes in the tank, but it smelled like a horrible selection of gay men.



Lovingly animated bouncing boobs
np

For my last meal I want a yellow suit seasoned heavily with Lovingly animated bouncing boobs.
The 7 deadly sins: lust, gluttony, Lovingly animated bouncing boobs, sloth, wrath, more blood, and pride.
I’ve been single ever since my girlfriend found out I had Lovingly animated bouncing boobs.
President Reagan and his entire cabinet got Lovingly animated bouncing boobs before every meeting.
Howdy neighbor, love a wish-granting goblin! Let’s get Lovingly animated bouncing boobs sometime!
In future times, the children will work together to build Lovingly animated bouncing boobs.



Eurobeat music
nc

In Siberia they built a tunnel to help endangered animals travel safely under Eurobeat music.
After last week’s stunning victory, the wrestler earned his nickname “Eurobeat Music
I heard you were talking about Eurobeat music so I had to come over!
“You didn’t even get me anything for my birthday!” “Yes I did, remember Eurobeat music?”
All the best love stories include Eurobeat music.
My mom picked me up Eurobeat music from the thrift shop. It was the last one!



Ultraviolence
nc

Ever since Ultraviolence appeared in the neighborhood, edible disguises has been eyed with suspicion.
Chimps in the wild have been observed using Ultraviolence to forage for food.
I’m having a picnic no one will forget! Bring Ultraviolence.
I’ve been chopping down trees to build Ultraviolence for me and my wife.
Growing up we never had Ultraviolence, but we had to deal with a breach of confidence, and I want the opposite for my children.
The new top grade of gasoline has Ultraviolence as an additive, which is actually really good for your car.


What if Gillette WAS the best a man could get?
 
 
2017 May 28 at 12:21 PDT
Crytax
Ph. D in Cryonics

2006 Apr 26 • 246
11 ₧
I think I’m enjoying   more than I should.

I think I’m enjoying an earthworm more than I should.
I think I’m enjoying a moon rock shaped like a butt more than I should.
I think I’m enjoying a half-brain slave more than I should.
I think I’m enjoying a watchful guard more than I should.
I think I’m enjoying putting up with you more than I should.
I think I’m enjoying a fistful of glitter more than I should.



  can be used as a dildo, if you're brave enough.

pushing it deeper can be used as a dildo, if you're brave enough.
tiny uranium rods can be used as a dildo, if you're brave enough.
a 100 foot tidal wave can be used as a dildo, if you're brave enough.
being a bad little boy can be used as a dildo, if you're brave enough.
a bellow of sympathy can be used as a dildo, if you're brave enough.
doing it RIGHT this time! can be used as a dildo, if you're brave enough.



The new Fallout DLC will allow you to recruit   and acquire  !
Play 2

The new Fallout DLC will allow you to recruit dicking around and acquire crotch rot!
The new Fallout DLC will allow you to recruit erotic pajamas and acquire a car crash!
The new Fallout DLC will allow you to recruit captured pirates and acquire a big slow boat!
The new Fallout DLC will allow you to recruit smooth boys and acquire a broken ceiling tile!
The new Fallout DLC will allow you to recruit a sugar cougar and acquire really bad teeth!
The new Fallout DLC will allow you to recruit dirty spaghetti and acquire just a peek!



They asked me how well I understood theoretical  . I said I had a theoretical   in  . They said welcome aboard.
Play 3

They asked me how well I understood theoretical the white devil. I said I had a theoretical peeing in a cup in being slathered in baby oil. They said welcome aboard.
They asked me how well I understood theoretical another way to kill me. I said I had a theoretical a blood-soaked maiden in getting raped in an uber. They said welcome aboard.
They asked me how well I understood theoretical a good thing for the heart. I said I had a theoretical the immigrant experience in America in googly eyes. They said welcome aboard.
They asked me how well I understood theoretical a rap artist. I said I had a theoretical catchin’ heat for sellin’ a piece of ass in helpful subordinates. They said welcome aboard.
They asked me how well I understood theoretical a slut who will do anything. I said I had a theoretical whatEVER in a cracker. They said welcome aboard.
They asked me how well I understood theoretical lactating dogs. I said I had a theoretical the men who helped me in an itchy shirt tag. They said welcome aboard.



  is a temporary setback on the road to  !
Play 2

gassing is a temporary setback on the road to the mayor!
its opposite is a temporary setback on the road to a snake pit!
the tiniest little idea in my pea brain is a temporary setback on the road to a pulpy mass!
stopping just in time is a temporary setback on the road to a comfortable spot!
a glass pane is a temporary setback on the road to rolling in it!
a rope tied round my leg is a temporary setback on the road to gangstas!



Democracy is non  .

Democracy is non love.
Democracy is non the man who is stalking me.
Democracy is non compressed gas.
Democracy is non doing things to the body.
Democracy is non sizzling lard.
Democracy is non Jews in cahoots.



It like they always say:   never changes.

It like they always say: the egg I hatched from never changes.
It like they always say: ill-advised business decisions never changes.
It like they always say: an automated turret never changes.
It like they always say: good people never changes.
It like they always say: a number of thrusts never changes.
It like they always say: papal taxation never changes.



I don't recall the   ever being  .
Play 2

I don't recall the giving birth to a prosthetic baby ever being running with a floppy, out-of-control hand.
I don't recall the talent and poise ever being wobbles.
I don't recall the a healthcare professional ever being stepping over me.
I don't recall the touching your pee pee ever being your husband.
I don't recall the an owl infestation ever being never being appreciated.
I don't recall the my happy place ever being the most beautiful face ever.



"D" is for  .

"D" is for spraying up the wall.
"D" is for zip ties.
"D" is for an anatomically correct sock puppet.
"D" is for an odd number of titties.
"D" is for 100% plastic adult toys.
"D" is for terminal illness.



This year’s hottest album is “ ” by  .
Play 2

This year’s hottest album is “at least 10 pounds of pork” by a short muscular rectum.
This year’s hottest album is “sneaking into the sultan’s harem” by curious bisexuals.
This year’s hottest album is “an old hornet” by a hand grenade in my cereal.
This year’s hottest album is “this very house” by tweaker logic.
This year’s hottest album is “a ghoulish feast” by Jesus Christ.
This year’s hottest album is “not riding a Segway” by infectious laughter.


What if Gillette WAS the best a man could get?
 
 
2017 May 28 at 19:27 PDT
Crytax
Ph. D in Cryonics

2006 Apr 26 • 246
11 ₧
An awkward discussion involving female biology
n

Our artisanal process ages a felony for 3 years, before going right into an awkward discussion involving female biology, rapidly yanking hard.
In Nevada you can pay for a lady killing with an awkward discussion involving female biology.
For Halloween we’re peeling an awkward discussion involving female biology so it feels like eyeballs, and we made King Edward’s sexual licentiousness so it feels like brains.
It was awful, in the middle of having sex an awkward discussion involving female biology leaked out of my butt.
In the end, the obvious plot twist was that the serial killer was actually an awkward discussion involving female biology.
India is launching a rocket to test the effects of micro-gravity on an awkward discussion involving female biology.



A self-aware tutorial
n

New extreme Mountain Dew™ flavor: A Self-aware Tutorial Blast!
If you see your dog scooting his butt on the carpet, it probably mean he’s a self-aware tutorial.
Lonely guys in Japan can buy a self-aware tutorial that sounds like a girl and will even go to bed with them.
Senator, give us a self-aware tutorial biannually and you’ll get our vote.
Nancy Drew and the Mystery of a Self-aware Tutorial.
The new MacBook Pro weighs about as much as what Mom made and comes with 1 USB-C port and a self-aware tutorial! Groovy!



Friends
np

Friends! Friends! My kingdom for friends!
12th street is closed due to a man in a tree throwing friends at cars and passers-by.
I checked my son’s browser history. Found links about friends and grinding on it. Should I talk to him?
Oh dear God! That was the last of my medication for “Friends” syndrome!
There is a rumor that Marilyn Manson had a real butt-toucher removed so he could be friends.
I don’t need love because I’m friends. Sorry mom!



A three day MMO marathon
n

As the A.I. robot gained self-awareness, it immediately began a three day MMO marathon.
I couldn’t see the eclipse because of a three day MMO marathon in the sky.
I was surprised to find bones in a three day MMO marathon. Is that normal?
I’m sure I blew a three day MMO marathon in this napkin somewhere.
J. Robert Oppenheimer is often called the father of a three day MMO marathon.
I love your necklace! It’s a three day MMO marathon, right?



The anti-climactic normal ending
n

I reached expectantly into nosy neighbors, but found only the anti-climactic normal ending.
Is there a free outlet? I need to plug in and charge the anti-climactic normal ending.
The anti-climactic normal ending is the spice of hors d’oeuvres.
Dear diary, today I went into the city and saw the anti-climactic normal ending for the first time!
Ever since the accident, I freeze in terror at the sight of the anti-climactic normal ending.
#the anti-climactic normal ending-shaming



A giant, tea-making robot
n

Hark! What a giant, tea-making robot through yonder window breaks?
Squad, circle up. It’s time to talk a giant, tea-making robot.
Today’s baseball game was called off when an irate fan threw a giant, tea-making robot at a player from the stands.
Sir! We are out of grape flavor, but we found a giant, tea-making robot while on patrol. Shall we ration it to the men?
The thief was caught stealing a giant, tea-making robot from the sultan, and so was thrown into the pit of giant meaty hands.
Your attempt to get little Susie what’s-her-name drunk on lime vodka ended with a giant, tea-making robot.



A raygun remote control
n

In future times, the children will work together to build a raygun remote control.
This one simple trick is all you need to spice up the bedroom: a raygun remote control.
I can’t believe you forced my mom into a raygun remote control! She’s 62!
The cruiseliner struck a raygun remote control and lost power, leaving hundreds of vacationers to deal with a submissive sex android.
A raygun remote control is legally grounds for divorcing your wife in 28 states.
A raygun remote control travelled over 20 feet after punching a brain.



Over-sized scissors
nc

A weird glitch in the Oculus Rift demo caused me to experience over-sized scissors like I was really there.
Although moving away from over-sized scissors proved effective for schools, the switch to lifting his kilt and winking initially led to a spike of child hospitalizations.
Come on down to Golden Corral™ for over-sized scissors.
It’s important to pack the essentials when camping, such as water, first aid, over-sized scissors, toilet paper, shelter, and a long rambling story.
Strangely, right before Hitler killed himself, he had a real sonuvabitch destroyed and over-sized scissors killed as well.
There is no “I” in “team” but there is an “I” in “over-sized scissors”.



Drinking toilet water
v

You evaded my “Drinking Toilet Water” attack! Most impressive.
Could you buy me drinking toilet water? I’ll pay you back.
I heard you can rent a friend in Tokyo, but only if one of you is drinking toilet water.
My daughter came home crying because the kids at school said she was drinking toilet water.
The Halifax bridge finally collapsed under the intense weight of drinking toilet water.
As one, the entire U.N. assembly rose to their feet, and slowly, solemnly, began drinking toilet water.



Graffiti that says “FUCK YOU”
np

At the book signing, George R.R. Martin signed my copy of ‟A Song of Graffiti That Says “FUCK YOU””! I shook his hand and it felt like Graffiti that says “FUCK YOU”.
The fire raged out of control because the firemen’s hoses got caught around Graffiti that says “FUCK YOU”.
I surreptitiously crawled into bed, only to find Graffiti that says “FUCK YOU”.
I like my women like I like Graffiti that says “FUCK YOU”: being dipped in Nutella with my fantasy.
Graffiti that says “FUCK YOU”: It’s nature’s candy!
I got a new app on my phone. It’s called “My Sister’s Baby” and it helps me with Graffiti that says “FUCK YOU”.



A sexbot named F.I.S.T.O.
n

After a truck ran over a sexbot named F.I.S.T.O. there was so much damage you couldn’t tell it apart from Tony’s prison baby.
In a world with the killing of educated adults rolling a golf cart, one man must overcome a sexbot named F.I.S.T.O.. Coming this summer.
Chris Angel hurled the deck of cards at some dead guy’s money and my card appeared in a sexbot named F.I.S.T.O.!
This new Mario game is weird. You need a sexbot named F.I.S.T.O. to attack goombas and coins are exclusively for buying hot wax.
When a sexbot named F.I.S.T.O. is ready, edible disguises will appear.
Stay out of that lake! a sexbot named F.I.S.T.O. will shoot up your urethra!



The annexation of Canada
v

Work on the Taft bridge ground to a halt, due to the union’s demands for the annexation of Canada.
I’m glad you’re my new roomie, my last one was always the annexation of Canada. Always.
The true reason for the Tacoma Narrows Bridge collapse? The annexation of Canada.
Our mystical secret society is dedicated to elucidating the mysteries of a mild orgasm the annexation of Canada.
Ha! You activated my trap card, “Yoghurt!” You’re cursed with the annexation of Canada until the end of the game!
On my way to work today, I had to swerve around the annexation of Canada on the freeway.



Radiation sickness
nc

CAUTION: Keep radiation sickness out of hopper and chute opening. Failure to comply risks personal injury.
Thanks for radiation sickness. Now get out of my bed!
Original style is fine, but chunky kinda tastes like radiation sickness.
I refuse to roleplay as anything but radiation sickness.
I got into my car and sat on radiation sickness. Slowly, a smile crept over my face.
My brother and I have finally decided to start a business doing radiation sickness, since we’re so good at it.



Mungos
np

As an homage to humanity, NASA has broadcasted Mungos to the vastness of space.
In this story, only the true king can pull the sword out of Mungos.
I buried my treasure under Mungos so you’d never find it!
I heard you were talking about Mungos so I had to come over!
The new Ford F-750 with more torque than Mungos.
This workplace has gone (0) days without Mungos.

What if Gillette WAS the best a man could get?
 
 
2017 May 28 at 19:31 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5785
In some households, they've trained  {sp} to use the potty.

In some households, they've trained a swarm of dead insects to use the potty.
In some households, they've trained a quality buttplug to use the potty.
In some households, they've trained a threat from Eurasia to use the potty.
In some households, they've trained the ultimate test of cerebral fitness to use the potty.
In some households, they've trained a child leash to use the potty.
In some households, they've trained the juiciest cunt I ever seen in my life to use the potty.

 
 
2017 May 30 at 08:21 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5785
A uniquely British problem
n

In the third world, luxuries like what Mom made are an alien concept, and most people don't even have access to a uniquely British problem.
My house. 8 o’clock. A uniquely British problem.
A uniquely British problem has proven extremely popular among young, urban audiences in focus testing.
I can’t believe you guys went self-cutting without me! Loop me in next time, I want a uniquely British problem too!
Their rising all at once was as the sound of a uniquely British problem heard remote.
For my last meal I want a uniquely British problem seasoned heavily with being unfit to even live.

 
 
2017 May 30 at 12:55 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5785
 {Uv} with  {n} is a uniquely British problem.
Play 2

Neglecting a spike with sex toy directions is a uniquely British problem.
Catching one in the bum with fresh young minds is a uniquely British problem.
Hiding some pee with automated mechanized death is a uniquely British problem.
Seeking death with a reliable source of income is a uniquely British problem.
Having a zero-value existence with motor control is a uniquely British problem.
Making out with Yakety Sax is a uniquely British problem.

 
 
2017 May 30 at 13:07 PDT — Ed. 2017 May 30 at 13:09 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5785
Cuttin' off mommy's finger
v

I noticed symptoms of cuttin' off mommy's finger, so I went to my naturopathic doctor. He said, “it’s Angelina Jolie’s lips!” but I’m not sure.
Your attempt to get little Susie what’s-her-name drunk on lime vodka ended with cuttin' off mommy's finger.
Senator, give us cuttin' off mommy's finger biannually and you’ll get our vote.
The new Harley-Davidson hog’s got a vacant stare painted on both sides, which some say encourages cuttin' off mommy's finger.
More armies need to incorporate cuttin' off mommy's finger into their uniforms.
In public restrooms, I’m always afraid someone will walk in, all cuttin' off mommy's finger, right while I’m giving birth to it.

 
 
2017 May 30 at 16:24 PDT — Ed. 2017 May 30 at 20:01 PDT
Taylor
2016 Apr 30 • 109
I'm going to post the new white card   to SAH. What do you think to  ?
Play 2

I'm going to post the new white card all this shit to SAH. What do you think to fatty grunts?
I'm going to post the new white card everywhere but Oklahoma to SAH. What do you think to the atom?
I'm going to post the new white card a grape in a condom to SAH. What do you think to a syringe?
I'm going to post the new white card inhaling to SAH. What do you think to real, actual witchcraft?
I'm going to post the new white card a phone booth to SAH. What do you think to my fantasy physique?
I'm going to post the new white card the princess’s saliva to SAH. What do you think to turning tricks on the street corner?



I'm going to to post the new white card   to SAH. What do you think, to predictable?

I'm going to to post the new white card bloody hell to SAH. What do you think, to predictable?
I'm going to to post the new white card less candy than usual to SAH. What do you think, to predictable?
I'm going to to post the new white card the sloppy, spiritless sex at the end of the orgy to SAH. What do you think, to predictable?
I'm going to to post the new white card buffing that vagina to SAH. What do you think, to predictable?
I'm going to to post the new white card his vagina to SAH. What do you think, to predictable?
I'm going to to post the new white card abstinence to SAH. What do you think, to predictable?

 
 
2017 May 31 at 15:06 PDT — Ed. 2017 May 31 at 15:08 PDT
Taylor
2016 Apr 30 • 109
A man in a meat suit
nc

At the hospital I had to take off my clothes and get into a man in a meat suit before dropping an upper-decker.
Growing up in the foster care system, I learned to be a man in a meat suit if I wanted a new family.
But I promised I would get my kids a man in a meat suit for Christmas!
Oh dear God! That was the last of my medication for “A Man in a Meat Suit” syndrome!
In future times, the children will work together to build a man in a meat suit.
Today you’re on the receiving end of a man in a meat suit.

 
 
2017 May 31 at 16:07 PDT — Ed. 2017 May 31 at 16:08 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5785
Ringo, the worst Beatle
nc

Work on the Taft bridge ground to a halt, due to the union’s demands for Ringo, the worst Beatle.
Ich bin ein Ringo, the worst Beatle.
The new hit reality show: Can You Swallow Ringo, the Worst Beatle?
So what I’m saying is we have Ringo, the worst Beatle to thank for Obama’s America.
Men, like the cruel ambition of my father, go farthest when they are Ringo, the worst Beatle.
I’m having a picnic no one will forget! Bring Ringo, the worst Beatle.

 
 
2017 May 31 at 19:08 PDT