SuperJer Against Humanity Suggestions PART 2

SuperJer Against Humanity Suggestions PART 2

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SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5902
Getting wrapped around a tree

In a world with my golden goose distended tubes, one man must overcome getting wrapped around a tree. Coming this summer.
getting wrapped around a tree is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop.
getting wrapped around a tree! getting wrapped around a tree! My kingdom for getting wrapped around a tree!
Men, like getting wrapped around a tree, go farthest when they are smoothest.
The 7 deadly sins: lust, gluttony, getting wrapped around a tree, sloth, wrath, a gaggle of nuns, and pride.
In the public getting wrapped around a tree model, a third-party service provider delivers the getting wrapped around a tree service over the Internet.



A cleverly named weed store

In the morning I always hop out of bed and get straight to a cleverly named weed store, even before I put on my clothes.
Oh dear God! That was the last of my medication for “a cleverly named weed store” syndrome!
Authorities were tallying damage from a cleverly named weed store that struck southern California Friday evening.
Original style is fine, but chunky kinda tastes like a cleverly named weed store.
I tried to sneak out of the store with a cleverly named weed store under one arm and good people down my pants.
Go, go, Gadget a cleverly named weed store!



Force-feeding a bird

The school district had to pay a lot of hush money to parents after the “force-feeding a bird” incident in the science lab.
I went rafting, saw force-feeding a bird in the river, no big deal.
Tomorrow the city is throwing a ticker-tape to celebrate force-feeding a bird.
This ship’s gonna sink unless we throw force-feeding a bird overboard!
In this 15th century painting, just a peek is represented by a man with force-feeding a bird for a head.
The TSA has made new rules mandating force-feeding a bird on every commercial flight.

 
 
2016 Mar 18 at 16:25 PDT — Ed. 2016 Mar 18 at 16:26 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5902
$200 worth of Taco Bell™

If $200 worth of Taco Bell™ were in the Olympics, Finland would be in great shape!
Music without the sounds of $200 worth of Taco Bell™ is hardly music at all.
Cambodia’s economy is entirely dependent on $200 worth of Taco Bell™.
New extreme Mountain Dew™ flavor: $200 worth of Taco Bell™ Blast!
Ich bin ein $200 worth of Taco Bell™.
Traditionally, vampires and other undead are repelled by $200 worth of Taco Bell™.



A hanging body

Don’t email me at work! Email me at my personal address: a hanging body@diplomatic support.net
1) A robot may not injure a hanging body, or through inaction allow a hanging body to come to harm.
After 6 grueling years, my partner and I have created a hanging body.
In New York, a new law went into effect at midnight making it legal to buy an ounce of a hanging body at a time.
Single white female seeking long term relationship, if you’re into a hanging body, get to the front of the line.
When I get older, I don't want to be a hanging body.



Fingernail torture

I dug around for hours in the trash but never found fingernail torture.
In my state, fingernail torture for sustenance is a legal right for many indigenous people.
The school district had to pay a lot of hush money to parents after the “fingernail torture” incident in the science lab.
After last week’s stunning victory, the wrestler earned his nickname “fingernail torture
When the celestial spheres align, fingernail torture will descend from the heavens.
fingernail torture has proven extremely popular among young, urban audiences in focus testing.

 
 
2016 Mar 18 at 16:29 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5902
The center of St. Louis

Last night I dreamed of the center of St. Louis. I cannot shake the feeling that dos and don’ts will arrive soon.
Abraham Lincoln wrestled with depression, but that did not keep him from the center of St. Louis with all white moms.
After the war, the British government had Alan Turing chemically castrated because he was the center of St. Louis.
Back when I was Taco Bell®, I got shot in the center of St. Louis by shoulder blades.
At the carnival I went on the thing where you ride the center of St. Louis. It made me feel like I was sinuses.
In the end, the obvious plot twist was that the serial killer was actually the center of St. Louis.



A metal roof

You evaded my “a metal roof” attack! Most impressive.
In the public a metal roof model, a third-party service provider delivers the a metal roof service over the Internet.
I wasn’t always black... there was a metal roof, and it got bigger and bigger.
During routine surgery, the doctors found a metal roof embedded in my abdomen.
Kirkland mom makes $20,000 a week with a metal roof.
a metal roof”: A new sport for boys and girls.



Baby eels

Voltron assemble! baby eels forms the left arm!
The three techniques of Sumo Wrestling: a human tooth necklace, baby eels and putting the “I” back in “team”.
I’m finally sisters with baby eels!
Man invented a cataclysmic magic spell, so woman invented baby eels.
To brew a love potion, besides eye of newt you need baking onto the sidewalk and baby eels.
Driving late at night, I was horrified to find baby eels in the back seat.

 
 
2016 Mar 18 at 16:31 PDT — Ed. 2016 Mar 18 at 16:32 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5902
A bucket of amniotic fluid

USGS seismologist Lucy Jones said the 5.1 quake has a 5% chance of being a bucket of amniotic fluid.
Military scientists in Syria found traces of a bucket of amniotic fluid in the soil.
Kirkland mom makes $20,000 a week with a bucket of amniotic fluid.
a bucket of amniotic fluid! a bucket of amniotic fluid! My kingdom for a bucket of amniotic fluid!
Man invented a bucket of amniotic fluid, so woman invented my unwanted child.
Spice up the bedroom by a bucket of amniotic fluid.



A garbage disposal

This is my second kid. My first one came out as a garbage disposal.
When the research team activated the interdimensional portal, a garbage disposal emerged.
I dug around for hours in the trash but never found a garbage disposal.
It has been prophesied that the young king will eventually be killed by a garbage disposal.
Traditionally, vampires and other undead are repelled by a garbage disposal.
Outrageous new comedy: 2 best friends and impacting my sister take a road trip, and discover a garbage disposal along the way.



Three carrots

You evaded my “three carrots” attack! Most impressive.
It’s not delivery. It’s three carrots.
At the carnival I went on the thing where you ride a snack attack. It made me feel like I was three carrots.
I went to cut the cake, and to my delight, three carrots popped out!
I went rafting, saw three carrots in the river, no big deal.
When he reached the New World, Cortés burned three carrots. As a result, his men were well motivated.

 
 
2016 Mar 18 at 16:34 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5902
Bodily harm

Come on down to Golden Corral for bodily harm.
I’m having a picnic no one will forget! Bring bodily harm.
... And so my mom asked me, “If all your friends were bodily harm, would you be bodily harm as well?”
At his last campaign rally, Bernie Sanders began bodily harm in front of his top supporters.
Driving late at night, I was horrified to find bodily harm in the back seat.
I refuse to roleplay as anything but bodily harm.



Repair service

I didn’t think this house would sell with an irritated throat in the attic. Anyway, I’m repair service.
Sir, you have a phone call. Something about repair service?
Our mystical secret society is dedicated to elucidating the mysteries of repair service and suggestive art from history.
You remind me of repair service because you are always Malibu Barbie to me.
Authorities were tallying damage from repair service that struck southern California Friday evening.
Aww! My mom packed a terrible lunch: inhabitants and repair service.



Hot lava

Single white female seeking long term relationship, if you’re into hot lava, get to the front of the line.
CAUTION: Keep hot lava out of hopper and chute opening. Failure to comply risks personal injury.
Police were able to track the suspect after finding DNA evidence in hot lava.
It has been prophesied that the young king will eventually be killed by hot lava.
Let any decent person host your next party, providing hot lava like you’ve never seen before.
Man invented diversions, so woman invented hot lava.

 
 
2016 Mar 18 at 16:35 PDT — Ed. 2016 Mar 18 at 16:36 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5902
Your fluid-filled lungs

Back in my day, we had your fluid-filled lungs for udders and we LIKED IT.
I’ve been dancing to the new single by “your fluid-filled lungs and exciting lifetime possibilities”.
I want to say one word to you, just one word: your fluid-filled lungs.
A woman is like a teabag. You can’t tell how strong she is until you put her in your fluid-filled lungs.
That’s Captain Rogers the Rancorous of “your fluid-filled lungs,” the finest ship in the harbor!
My house. 8 o’clock. your fluid-filled lungs.



Wet dog smell

I dug around for hours in the trash but never found wet dog smell.
Before you embark on a journey of revenge, consider wet dog smell.
Throughout human history, wet dog smell has been the first activity of explorers of any new region.
Can I get some floss? There’s wet dog smell between my teeth.
After the war, the British government had Alan Turing chemically castrated because he was wet dog smell.
The only way to make sense out of wet dog smell is to plunge into it, move with it, and join the dance.



A broken ceiling tile

Apparently, “a broken ceiling tile” is a dance move in the Hip-Hop and B-Boy community.
It’s important to pack the essentials when camping, such as water, first aid, a broken ceiling tile, toilet paper, shelter, and subduing your cell-mate and making him your wife.
In protest, Gandhi swore to abstain from a broken ceiling tile.
Voltron assemble! a broken ceiling tile forms the left arm!
At my 9th birthday, we had real, actual witchcraft piñata that burst open showering a broken ceiling tile on us kids.
Bumper sticker: My other ride is a broken ceiling tile.



The deceased

In this 15th century painting, mildew, mold, and traces of fungal spores is represented by a man with the deceased for a head.
I got a new app on my phone. It’s called “the deceased” and it helps me with wobbles.
I like my women like I like mistaking a man for a lady: with the deceased.
Last night I dreamed of the deceased. I cannot shake the feeling that a great review will arrive soon.
Oh dear God! That was the last of my medication for “the deceased” syndrome!
The thief was caught stealing a raunchy sex comedy from the sultan, and so was thrown into the pit of the deceased.

 
 
2016 Mar 18 at 16:37 PDT — Ed. 2016 Mar 18 at 16:39 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5902
Coach Diddleplayers

Experts said that based on preliminary data, Coach Diddleplayers appears to have occurred on the Puente Hills thrust fault.
Coach Diddleplayers is grounds for divorcing your wife in 28 states.
The three techniques of Sumo Wrestling: a backseat, an irregular fortification hardly worthy of any name and Coach Diddleplayers.
You’ve got to come see the baby, it’s as cute as Coach Diddleplayers.
When the beef came at me it was like Coach Diddleplayers.
India is launching a rocket to test the effects of micro-gravity on Coach Diddleplayers.



Less chaos

One has to secrete a jelly in which to slip less chaos down people’s throats - and one always secretes too much jelly.
I had a really good childhood up until I was nine, then less chaos really affected me.
Our mystical secret society is dedicated to elucidating the mysteries of less chaos and valid reasons.
Always walk into an interview with less chaos and confidence, you’ll get the job for sure!
Then God said, “Let there be less chaos”; and there was less chaos. And God saw that less chaos was good.
I surreptitiously crawled into bed, only to find less chaos.



The off-switch

But of the tree of knowledge of B.J. Pussylips and the off-switch you shall not eat, for in the day you eat of it you shall surely die.
Meet me by the new modern art installation downtown. You know, it’s the off-switch straddled by a cascade of problems.
The best comfort food will always be greens, the off-switch, and fried chicken.
You put the off-switch back right now, young man, you’ve already had yours!
The city condemned our house after finding the off-switch in the crawlspace.
Give a man the off-switch and you feed him for a day. Give him hot grills, and you feed him for a lifetime.


 
 
2016 Mar 18 at 16:41 PDT — Ed. 2016 Mar 18 at 16:41 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5902
Almost enough oxygen

The TSA has made new rules mandating almost enough oxygen on every commercial flight.
almost enough oxygen”: A new sport for boys and girls.
In future times, the children will work together to build almost enough oxygen.
The school district had to pay a lot of hush money to parents after the “almost enough oxygen” incident in the science lab.
Someone has to die in order that the rest of us should value almost enough oxygen more. Now hold still.
A BBC team has witnessed the devastating effects of almost enough oxygen on civilians in rebel-held areas of Syria.



Things to fix

Populations of endangered rhinoceros are threatened by things to fix and rolling a golf cart.
In the morning I always hop out of bed and get straight to things to fix, even before I put on my clothes.
If you don’t stop reduced brain intelligence, I’ll load you on my catapult and fire you into things to fix!
Squad, circle up. It’s time to talk things to fix.
There is no “I” in “team” but there is an “I” in “things to fix”.
When the celestial spheres align, things to fix will descend from the heavens.



My replacement

Apparently, “my replacement” is a dance move in the Hip-Hop and B-Boy community.
The new bill before congress would mandate a human-sized harness and provide subsidies for my replacement.
A lifetime of my replacement awaits. Call now for a free consultation.
Traditionally, vampires and other undead are repelled by my replacement.
Before you embark on a journey of revenge, consider my replacement.
Experts said that based on preliminary data, my replacement appears to have occurred on the Puente Hills thrust fault.

 
 
2016 Mar 18 at 16:43 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5902
Turning over

Back when I was the chair, I got shot in turning over by the best woman for the job.
Jan Sobieski, leading the largest cavalry charge in history, rode into battle atop turning over.
At his last campaign rally, Bernie Sanders began turning over in front of his top supporters.
In future times, the children will work together to build turning over.
turning over... like a woman’s.
It’s lucky to touch turning over; it’s even luckier to touch someone else’s.



The top 3 floors of the building

Woah, the top 3 floors of the building! I’m gonna put my mouth on it!
Any man who can drive safely while kissing the top 3 floors of the building is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves.
I booby-trapped my yard so that trespassers will be surprised by the top 3 floors of the building.
New extreme Mountain Dew™ flavor: the top 3 floors of the building Blast!
Dear diary, today I went into the city and saw the top 3 floors of the building for the first time!
McDonald’s combo menu #3: Double Quarter Pounder with Cheese, a large Coke, and a side of the top 3 floors of the building.



A 57-foot-diameter tunnel boring machine

I came home to find a 57-foot-diameter tunnel boring machine replaced with drunk waterboarding.
You can’t get a 57-foot-diameter tunnel boring machine big enough or fatty grunts long enough to suit me.
Who so pulleth out a perfect vacuum of this stone is rightwise king born of a 57-foot-diameter tunnel boring machine.
But of the tree of knowledge of just an illegal blood ritual and a 57-foot-diameter tunnel boring machine you shall not eat, for in the day you eat of it you shall surely die.
The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for 30 years she served my family nothing but a 57-foot-diameter tunnel boring machine.
In this game you get to collect a 57-foot-diameter tunnel boring machine and craft secretions.

 
 
2016 Mar 18 at 16:46 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5902
Less lasagna

I met a strange lady, she made me nervous. She took me in and gave me less lasagna.
At my 9th birthday, we had less lasagna piñata that burst open showering backwash on us kids.
You’ve got to come see the baby, it’s as cute as less lasagna.
A social skill is any skill facilitating a fatal bee sting on the anus and less lasagna with others.
McDonald’s combo menu #3: Double Quarter Pounder with Cheese, a large Coke, and a side of less lasagna.
When the beef came at me it was like less lasagna.



Bigger problems

During routine surgery, the doctors found bigger problems embedded in my abdomen.
bigger problems”: A new sport for boys and girls.
In this 15th century painting, bigger problems is represented by a man with a boiled bag of pig cushion for a head.
Holy dogshit, Texas! Only much needed supplies and bigger problems come from Texas, Private Cowboy!
Single white female seeking long term relationship, if you’re into bigger problems, get to the front of the line.
I came home to find whistling at women replaced with bigger problems.



Cash-flow problems

Science never solves a problem without creating cash-flow problems.
One has to secrete a jelly in which to slip cash-flow problems down people’s throats - and one always secretes too much jelly.
The best comfort food will always be greens, cash-flow problems, and fried chicken.
I thought I was being attacked, and I defended myself with cash-flow problems.
I wasn’t always black... there was cash-flow problems, and it got bigger and bigger.
Military scientists in Syria found traces of cash-flow problems in the soil.

 
 
2016 Mar 18 at 16:48 PDT — Ed. 2016 Mar 18 at 16:50 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5902
Something even sexier

Life without love is like something even sexier without Quetzalcoatl or fruit.
The unofficial symbol of the United States is something even sexier.
To brew a love potion, besides eye of newt you need a back-breaking zit and something even sexier.
Let an exhumed corpse host your next party, providing something even sexier like you’ve never seen before.
A BBC team has witnessed the devastating effects of something even sexier on civilians in rebel-held areas of Syria.
USGS seismologist Lucy Jones said the 5.1 quake has a 5% chance of being something even sexier.



Worse people than that

Early rugby’s rules: carry the ball as accidentally decking a cop in the head, score points by the signs of spousal abuse, and worse people than that shall not be on the field.
worse people than that: It’s nature’s candy!
I want to say one word to you, just one word: worse people than that.
God didn’t create me. God created worse people than that. And worse people than that created me.
Furious that I had peed into his spellbook, the sorcerer turned me into worse people than that.
Howdy neighbor, love the manner to which I am accustomed! Let’s get worse people than that sometime!



A nicer surprise

a nicer surprise”: A new sport for boys and girls.
The best comfort food will always be greens, a nicer surprise, and fried chicken.
Military scientists in Syria found traces of a nicer surprise in the soil.
Music without the sounds of a nicer surprise is hardly music at all.
On my way to work today, I had to swerve around a nicer surprise on the freeway.
You can’t get a long rambling story big enough or a nicer surprise long enough to suit me.

 
 
2016 Mar 18 at 16:51 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5902
A forest fire

At my 9th birthday, we had a forest fire piñata that burst open showering a wall on us kids.
Science never solves a problem without creating a forest fire.
If you don’t stop thrifty moms, I’ll load you on my catapult and fire you into a forest fire!
The rich aroma of a forest fire, from the hills of Columbia.
Last night I dreamed of the president’s daughter. I cannot shake the feeling that a forest fire will arrive soon.
I booby-trapped my yard so that trespassers will be surprised by a forest fire.



A homicidal manta ray

Ich bin ein a homicidal manta ray.
Thank you ladies and gentlemen! For my next performance art piece, I will be a homicidal manta ray.
Military scientists in Syria found traces of a homicidal manta ray in the soil.
Damn it! I got a homicidal manta ray jammed in the wheel well again.
I’m finally sisters with a homicidal manta ray!
I want to say one word to you, just one word: a homicidal manta ray.



A better place now

Before you embark on a journey of revenge, consider a better place now.
How high do you have to be to put a better place now on iodine?
The TSA has made new rules mandating a better place now on every commercial flight.
In future times, the children will work together to build a better place now.
New extreme Mountain Dew™ flavor: a better place now Blast!
My daughter came home crying because the kids at school said she was a better place now.

 
 
2016 Mar 18 at 16:54 PDT — Ed. 2016 Mar 18 at 16:55 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5902
All the air in the room

I had a really good childhood up until I was nine, then all the air in the room really affected me.
Their rising all at once was as the sound of all the air in the room heard remote.
At his last campaign rally, Bernie Sanders began all the air in the room in front of his top supporters.
Traditionally, vampires and other undead are repelled by all the air in the room.
The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for 30 years she served my family nothing but all the air in the room.
The best comfort food will always be greens, all the air in the room, and fried chicken.



An even stupider idea

Oh dear God! That was the last of my medication for “an even stupider idea” syndrome!
In future times, the children will work together to build an even stupider idea.
Any man who can drive safely while kissing an even stupider idea is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves.
The new self-help fad: Better Living Through an even stupider idea!
In the end, the obvious plot twist was that the serial killer was actually an even stupider idea.
Someone has to die in order that the rest of us should value an even stupider idea more. Now hold still.



Intestines draped everywhere

“You didn’t even get me anything for my birthday!” “Yes I did, remember intestines draped everywhere?”
Can I get some floss? There’s intestines draped everywhere between my teeth.
Damn it! I got intestines draped everywhere jammed in the wheel well again.
In the morning I always hop out of bed and get straight to intestines draped everywhere, even before I put on my clothes.
I’m finally sisters with intestines draped everywhere!
Always walk into an interview with intestines draped everywhere and confidence, you’ll get the job for sure!

 
 
2016 Mar 18 at 16:57 PDT — Ed. 2016 Mar 18 at 16:58 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5902
The thing hanging out of my butt

You’ve got to come see the baby, it’s as cute as the thing hanging out of my butt.
I met a strange lady, she made me nervous. She took me in and gave me the thing hanging out of my butt.
For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into one single big one. It was not my lips you kissed, but the thing hanging out of my butt.
A social skill is any skill facilitating the thing hanging out of my butt and an effigy with others.
I buried my treasure under the thing hanging out of my butt so you’d never find it!
If you don’t stop a great review, I’ll load you on my catapult and fire you into the thing hanging out of my butt!



Drinking wine in the tub all day

During routine surgery, the doctors found drinking wine in the tub all day embedded in my abdomen.
To brew a love potion, besides eye of newt you need a basis in empirical evidence and drinking wine in the tub all day.
Ich bin ein drinking wine in the tub all day.
Single white female seeking long term relationship, if you’re into drinking wine in the tub all day, get to the front of the line.
The TSA has made new rules mandating drinking wine in the tub all day on every commercial flight.
Ha! You activated my trap card, “drinking wine in the tub all day!” You’re cursed with a coked up hooker until the end of the game!



Caesar's last breath

Last night I dreamed of a gold ingot. I cannot shake the feeling that Caesar's last breath will arrive soon.
Caesar's last breath can be eaten most successfully if you inhale it like a vacuum cleaner.
Populations of endangered rhinoceros are threatened by Caesar's last breath and whoever finishes first.
This ship’s gonna sink unless we throw Caesar's last breath overboard!
How high do you have to be to put Caesar's last breath on being more trouble than you’re worth?
Alien cover-ups, false flag operations, and military experiments with Caesar's last breath! It’s all here in my manifesto!

 
 
2016 Mar 18 at 17:00 PDT — Ed. 2016 Mar 18 at 17:01 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5902
The whole bottle of sleeping pills

When the research team activated the interdimensional portal, the whole bottle of sleeping pills emerged.
The new self-help fad: Better Living Through the whole bottle of sleeping pills!
My house. 8 o’clock. the whole bottle of sleeping pills.
Ich bin ein the whole bottle of sleeping pills.
Your attempt to get little Susie what’s-her-name drunk on lime vodka ended with the whole bottle of sleeping pills.
But of the tree of knowledge of the whole bottle of sleeping pills and a dust bunny you shall not eat, for in the day you eat of it you shall surely die.



A trap that shoots a poison dart

How embarrassing! I forget I left a trap that shoots a poison dart in the foyer.
Early rugby’s rules: carry the ball as respite, score points by an enduring fixture, and a trap that shoots a poison dart shall not be on the field.
If a trap that shoots a poison dart were in the Olympics, Finland would be in great shape!
Back when I was daddy juice, I got shot in a trap that shoots a poison dart by an iceberg.
a trap that shoots a poison dart has proven extremely popular among young, urban audiences in focus testing.
1) A robot may not injure a trap that shoots a poison dart, or through inaction allow a trap that shoots a poison dart to come to harm.



Enough height

enough height: The President’s unimaginative campaign slogan.
Getting enough height back out of a volcano is next to impossible.
When presented with a military laboratory, enough height will fart blood in anticipation.
Go, go, Gadget enough height!
CAUTION: Keep enough height out of hopper and chute opening. Failure to comply risks personal injury.
When eating alone I prefer a special kind of sandwich: layers of fuzzy handcuffs and enough height.

 
 
2016 Mar 18 at 17:03 PDT — Ed. 2016 Mar 18 at 18:00 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5902
A death sentence

Work on the Taft bridge ground to a halt, due to the union’s demands for a death sentence.
Single white female seeking long term relationship, if you’re into a death sentence, get to the front of the line.
The name for Idaho was derived from a Shoshone language term meaning “a death sentence.”
Class, turn to page 100 and start reading “a death sentence”.
More than 260 people were injured by festive firecracker blasts and a death sentence in the Philippines.
The new self-help fad: Better Living Through a death sentence!



Its opposite

These wounds were given to me by the beast of legend. Part of it was Edward’s sexual licentiousness, part was its opposite, and it was crowned with my mouth.
You remind me of banging them in their sodomy butts because you are always its opposite to me.
Life without love is like obscene handmaidens without its opposite or fruit.
Ich bin ein its opposite.
Bumper sticker: My other ride is its opposite.
its opposite”: A new sport for boys and girls.



Someone tougher

Traditionally, vampires and other undead are repelled by someone tougher.
When I told my doctor I couldn’t afford an operation, he offered someone tougher operation.
Jesus is someone tougher.
Go, go, Gadget someone tougher!
God didn’t create me. God created someone tougher. And someone tougher created me.
In the public someone tougher model, a third-party service provider delivers the someone tougher service over the Internet.

 
 
2016 Mar 18 at 17:05 PDT — Ed. 2016 Mar 18 at 17:09 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5902
An otherwise peaceful man

Chimps in the wild have been observed using an otherwise peaceful man to forage for food.
Someone has to die in order that the rest of us should value an otherwise peaceful man more. Now hold still.
The best comfort food will always be greens, an otherwise peaceful man, and fried chicken.
Aww! My mom packed a terrible lunch: a shard of shrapnel and an otherwise peaceful man.
On my wedding night my father told me, “Don’t go chasing an otherwise peaceful man.”
My religion demands that I must always have an otherwise peaceful man, and that I must abstain from a salty sailor.



An even harder bang

The rich aroma of an even harder bang, from the hills of Columbia.
1) A robot may not injure an even harder bang, or through inaction allow an even harder bang to come to harm.
More than 260 people were injured by festive firecracker blasts and an even harder bang in the Philippines.
On my way to work today, I had to swerve around an even harder bang on the freeway.
That’s Captain Rogers the Rancorous of “an even harder bang,” the finest ship in the harbor!
The 13 colonies were founded on the principles of liberty, brotherhood, and an even harder bang.



An even deeper gash

After last week’s stunning victory, the wrestler earned his nickname “an even deeper gash
I’m undergoing immersion therapy by continually exposing myself to an even deeper gash.
You can’t get conjuring big enough or an even deeper gash long enough to suit me.
USGS seismologist Lucy Jones said the 5.1 quake has a 5% chance of being an even deeper gash.
I buried my treasure under an even deeper gash so you’d never find it!
I’m having a picnic no one will forget! Bring an even deeper gash.

 
 
2016 Mar 18 at 17:11 PDT — Ed. 2016 Mar 18 at 17:13 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5902
A more imminent danger

Back when I was shafts, I got shot in a low wall by a more imminent danger.
More than 260 people were injured by festive firecracker blasts and a more imminent danger in the Philippines.
In the public a more imminent danger model, a third-party service provider delivers the a more imminent danger service over the Internet.
My house. 8 o’clock. a more imminent danger.
a more imminent danger! a more imminent danger! My kingdom for a more imminent danger!
It’s lucky to touch a more imminent danger; it’s even luckier to touch someone else’s.



Fewer wheels

Meet me by the new modern art installation downtown. You know, it’s Ruth Bader Ginsburg’s frilly neckerchief straddled by fewer wheels.
The thief was caught stealing nothing much from the sultan, and so was thrown into the pit of fewer wheels.
Welcome to the neighborhood! I live in fewer wheels across the street.
In the morning I always hop out of bed and get straight to fewer wheels, even before I put on my clothes.
McDonald’s combo menu #3: Double Quarter Pounder with Cheese, a large Coke, and a side of fewer wheels.
fewer wheels is not horrible if a child is doing it.



Being stuck forever

The new self-help fad: Better Living Through being stuck forever!
You can’t get being stuck forever big enough or my innards long enough to suit me.
... And so my mom asked me, “If all your friends were being stuck forever, would you be being stuck forever as well?”
In protest, Gandhi swore to abstain from being stuck forever.
being stuck forever”: A new sport for boys and girls.
Give a man 50,000 volts of electricity and you feed him for a day. Give him being stuck forever, and you feed him for a lifetime.

 
 
2016 Mar 18 at 17:15 PDT — Ed. 2016 Mar 18 at 17:18 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5902
The yellow line down the middle of the road

I’m finally sisters with the yellow line down the middle of the road!
Woah, the yellow line down the middle of the road! I’m gonna put my mouth on it!
Music without the sounds of the yellow line down the middle of the road is hardly music at all.
In my state, the yellow line down the middle of the road for sustenance is a legal right for many indigenous people.
I’ve been dancing to the new single by “the yellow line down the middle of the road and my mom teaching sex ed”.
In the public the yellow line down the middle of the road model, a third-party service provider delivers the the yellow line down the middle of the road service over the Internet.



Something even wetter

He also named a city in India “something even wetter” after his dead horse.
J. Robert Oppenheimer is often called the father of something even wetter.
something even wetter! something even wetter! My kingdom for something even wetter!
It’s important to pack the essentials when camping, such as water, first aid, something even wetter, toilet paper, shelter, and feeling manful.
Don’t email me at work! Email me at my personal address: effective limits@something even wetter.net
Dear diary, today I went into the city and saw something even wetter for the first time!



A more cavernous vagina

Jan Sobieski, leading the largest cavalry charge in history, rode into battle atop a more cavernous vagina.
Single white female seeking long term relationship, if you’re into a more cavernous vagina, get to the front of the line.
Spice up the bedroom by a more cavernous vagina.
Can I get some floss? There’s a more cavernous vagina between my teeth.
CAUTION: Keep a more cavernous vagina out of hopper and chute opening. Failure to comply risks personal injury.
Your attempt to get little Susie what’s-her-name drunk on lime vodka ended with a more cavernous vagina.

 
 
2016 Mar 18 at 17:20 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5902
An 18 by 6 meter block of concrete

Woah, an 18 by 6 meter block of concrete! I’m gonna put my mouth on it!
At the carnival I went on the thing where you ride an 18 by 6 meter block of concrete. It made me feel like I was a warhead.
Last night I dreamed of my last tooth. I cannot shake the feeling that an 18 by 6 meter block of concrete will arrive soon.
Before you embark on a journey of revenge, consider an 18 by 6 meter block of concrete.
Leopards are smaller than most of the Panthera genus, but they are able to take large prey due to an 18 by 6 meter block of concrete.
I’ve got a master's degree in an 18 by 6 meter block of concrete!



This half of the planet

The TSA has made new rules mandating this half of the planet on every commercial flight.
I got a new app on my phone. It’s called “a karate chop” and it helps me with this half of the planet.
A lifetime of this half of the planet awaits. Call now for a free consultation.
Bumper sticker: My other ride is this half of the planet.
A BBC team has witnessed the devastating effects of this half of the planet on civilians in rebel-held areas of Syria.
I’m undergoing immersion therapy by continually exposing myself to this half of the planet.



Earth's orbit

In this 15th century painting, Earth's orbit is represented by a man with a time machine that has yet to be invented for a head.
The name for Idaho was derived from a Shoshone language term meaning “Earth's orbit.”
That’s Captain Rogers the Rancorous of “Earth's orbit,” the finest ship in the harbor!
Chimps in the wild have been observed using Earth's orbit to forage for food.
There is no revenge so complete as Earth's orbit.
The doctor held up my x-ray and I could just make out Earth's orbit.

 
 
2016 Mar 18 at 17:22 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5902
My momma's fatness

When my momma's fatness is ready, following your boner around the room will appear.
Last night I dreamed of my momma's fatness. I cannot shake the feeling that a great big sword will arrive soon.
Holy dogshit, Texas! Only my momma's fatness and turning tricks on the street corner come from Texas, Private Cowboy!
Dear diary, today I went into the city and saw my momma's fatness for the first time!
In this game you get to collect my momma's fatness and craft violent docking, coming in hard.
Science never solves a problem without creating my momma's fatness.



Sticker residue

I’m late to my meeting for sticker residue.
1) A robot may not injure sticker residue, or through inaction allow sticker residue to come to harm.
On my way to work today, I had to swerve around sticker residue on the freeway.
When presented with sticker residue, all your drama will fart blood in anticipation.
It’s lucky to touch sticker residue; it’s even luckier to touch someone else’s.
The 7 deadly sins: lust, gluttony, the southwest corner, sloth, wrath, sticker residue, and pride.



Very expensive gelato

The doctor held up my x-ray and I could just make out very expensive gelato.
Experts said that based on preliminary data, very expensive gelato appears to have occurred on the Puente Hills thrust fault.
After 6 grueling years, my partner and I have created very expensive gelato.
I’ve been dancing to the new single by “very expensive gelato and a robot body”.
The TSA has made new rules mandating very expensive gelato on every commercial flight.
At his last campaign rally, Bernie Sanders began very expensive gelato in front of his top supporters.

 
 
2016 Mar 18 at 17:24 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5902
A lumberjack orgy

The first item of evidence in The People vs. a lumberjack orgy is snotbrains.
Music without the sounds of a lumberjack orgy is hardly music at all.
When the beef came at me it was like a lumberjack orgy.
Hark! What a lumberjack orgy through yonder window breaks?
On my wedding night my father told me, “Don’t go chasing a lumberjack orgy.”
When I get older, I don't want to be a lumberjack orgy.



Swordplay

See now black people walk like swordplay. But white people -- white people walk like they’re the stars of the night sky!
If swordplay were in the Olympics, Finland would be in great shape!
USGS seismologist Lucy Jones said the 5.1 quake has a 5% chance of being swordplay.
I refuse to roleplay as anything but swordplay.
I’m finally sisters with swordplay!
Early rugby’s rules: carry the ball as cabin fever, score points by swordplay, and the “treasure box” shall not be on the field.



My sexual partners

When eating alone I prefer a special kind of sandwich: layers of a dictionary for swears and my sexual partners.
It’s important to pack the essentials when camping, such as water, first aid, Rudeboy, toilet paper, shelter, and my sexual partners.
The unofficial symbol of the United States is my sexual partners.
When I told my father he shouted, “No daughter of mine is going out with my sexual partners!”
Back when I was everything under the sea, I got shot in my sexual partners by bubble and squeak.
I’m having a picnic no one will forget! Bring my sexual partners.

 
 
2016 Mar 18 at 17:26 PDT — Ed. 2016 Mar 18 at 17:32 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5902
The men who helped me

Back in my day, we had the men who helped me for racist bullshit and we LIKED IT.
Can I get some floss? There’s the men who helped me between my teeth.
the men who helped me is the only way to say goodbye.
Since I deserve it, I am going to reward myself with the men who helped me.
It’s lucky to touch the men who helped me; it’s even luckier to touch someone else’s.
My house. 8 o’clock. the men who helped me.



The reality of the situation

I’m finally sisters with the reality of the situation!
Meet me by the new modern art installation downtown. You know, it’s a half-jocular overstatement straddled by the reality of the situation.
the reality of the situation... like a woman’s.
You’ve got to come see the baby, it’s as cute as the reality of the situation.
Police were able to track the suspect after finding DNA evidence in the reality of the situation.
Thank you ladies and gentlemen! For my next performance art piece, I will be the reality of the situation.



Reasons to do it

Everything I need to live on a desert island: running and jumping into the darkness and hoping nothing kills you with reasons to do it.
To brew a love potion, besides eye of newt you need reasons to do it and pretending to forget.
These wounds were given to me by the beast of legend. Part of it was reasons to do it, part was a Swiss murder suit, and it was crowned with an all-female gang called the Lizzies.
When the celestial spheres align, reasons to do it will descend from the heavens.
I booby-trapped my yard so that trespassers will be surprised by reasons to do it.
CAUTION: Keep reasons to do it out of hopper and chute opening. Failure to comply risks personal injury.

 
 
2016 Mar 18 at 17:34 PDT — Ed. 2016 Mar 18 at 17:36 PDT
Nezumi
Asshole Admin

1-Up Medal
2005 Mar 26 • 553
175 ₧
Would you rather: A) Be forced into _____, or B) lick _____?2

Would you rather: A) Be forced into accepting any crap without opposing thoughts, or B) lick jury duty?
Would you rather: A) Be forced into tiny men, or B) lick intense pain?
Would you rather: A) Be forced into buffing that vagina, or B) lick a woman handling a situation with kid gloves?
Would you rather: A) Be forced into my picture, or B) lick the reason this happened?
Would you rather: A) Be forced into regular contact, or B) lick being impulsive and temperamental?
Would you rather: A) Be forced into a leather swing, or B) lick those responsible?



This one needs somewhat careful section for the first black, which was designed for verbs. Other cards can work well there too, like this:

Would you rather: A) Be forced into the world’s fastest pump, or B) lick high-voltage wires?

I'd be happy to hear feedback on the phrasing of this card in general.
 
 
2016 Mar 18 at 17:39 PDT — Ed. 2016 Mar 18 at 17:40 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5902
Not many teeth

McDonald’s combo menu #3: Double Quarter Pounder with Cheese, a large Coke, and a side of not many teeth.
“You didn’t even get me anything for my birthday!” “Yes I did, remember not many teeth?”
Although moving away from not many teeth proved effective for schools, switching to a choir of angels initially led to a spike of child hospitalizations.
It has been prophesied that the young king will eventually be killed by not many teeth.
Kirkland mom makes $20,000 a week with not many teeth.
The best comfort food will always be greens, not many teeth, and fried chicken.



Good vibes

See now black people walk like a barbecued meal worm. But white people -- white people walk like they’re good vibes!
When I told my father he shouted, “No daughter of mine is going out with good vibes!”
Aww! My mom packed a terrible lunch: good vibes and casualties.
I’ve got a master's degree in good vibes!
I refuse to roleplay as anything but good vibes.
A lifetime of good vibes awaits. Call now for a free consultation.



Getting all obsessive about it

I want to say one word to you, just one word: getting all obsessive about it.
Work on the Taft bridge ground to a halt, due to the union’s demands for getting all obsessive about it.
More than 260 people were injured by festive firecracker blasts and getting all obsessive about it in the Philippines.
At his last campaign rally, Bernie Sanders began getting all obsessive about it in front of his top supporters.
Experts said that based on preliminary data, getting all obsessive about it appears to have occurred on the Puente Hills thrust fault.
When I get older, I don't want to be getting all obsessive about it.

 
 
2016 Mar 18 at 17:41 PDT — Ed. 2016 Mar 18 at 17:43 PDT