SuperJer Against Humanity Suggestions PART 2

SuperJer Against Humanity Suggestions PART 2

General — Page 1 2 3 ... 61 62 63 [64] 65 66 67 ... 107 108 109
Taylor
2016 Apr 30 • 109
Spiritual awakening n

Until quite recently, Spiritual awakening had the highest tensile strength of any substance known to man.
Spiritual awakening nearly killed me in my dream. I think it's my brain telling me to avoid a tickle.
Every morning I hop out of bed and get straight to Spiritual awakening, even before I put on my clothes.
At the mall Santa kiosk, the elves were caught sneaking Spiritual awakening into women’s purses and bags.
Welcome to the neighborhood! I live down the street. You’ll recognize my house with Spiritual awakening.
On the assembly line we heat Spiritual awakening to a steaming, bright cherry red. And this next machine over here is hate-fucking.

 
 
2017 Mar 29 at 00:19 PDT — Ed. 2017 Mar 29 at 00:25 PDT
RealAccount
2015 Aug 30 • 12
Winona Ryder's leather jacket n

At the book signing, George R.R. Martin signed my copy of ‟A Song of Winona Ryder's Leather Jacket”! I shook his hand and it felt like Winona Ryder's leather jacket.
In Siberia they built a tunnel to help endangered animals travel safely under Winona Ryder's leather jacket.
During the war, German scientists experimented with financial distress to weaponize Winona Ryder's leather jacket.
There is no revenge so complete as Winona Ryder's leather jacket.
The Chinese government has blocked all websites related to Winona Ryder's leather jacket.
If you kids don’t stop accidentally decking a cop in the head, I will turn Winona Ryder's leather jacket around!



Winona Ryder's stealing habit n

Here’s a certificate for Winona Ryder's stealing habit. I am at your service.
During my driving test, I backed my car into Winona Ryder's stealing habit. I still got an 85!
How embarrassing! I forget I left Winona Ryder's stealing habit in the foyer.
Strangely, right before Hitler killed himself, he had your blessed little heart destroyed and Winona Ryder's stealing habit killed as well.
Don’t email me at work! Email me at my personal address: winona-ryders-stealing-habit@damage.net
What’s in the fridge? Soda, OJ, Winona Ryder's stealing habit... Sweet! Sunny-D!

 
 
2017 Mar 29 at 00:28 PDT — Ed. 2017 Mar 29 at 00:29 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5934
having peed vt

At the winery tour we saw how they put a censor bar and grapes in the tank, but it smelled like having peed.
Leopards are smaller than most of the Panthera genus, but they are able to take large prey due to having peed.
A lifetime of having peed awaits. Call now for a free consultation.
Someone has to die in order that the rest of us should value having peed more. Now hold still.
Furious that I was having peed into his spellbook, the sorcerer turned me into sex toy directions.
My life coach told me that to maximise my positive energy flow, I should alternate between pulling off pants and having peed.



receiving a lot of money v

How did I get hurt? I got my foot caught in a bucket of skin worms, tumbled down the escalator and crashed into receiving a lot of money.
Happiness: A top hat full of assholes, receiving a lot of money, and drugs.
At the new circus in town, three jugglers throw each other the steamboat captain, while a man is receiving a lot of money on a galloping horse.
Last time I went in a rest stop bathroom there were some guys in there receiving a lot of money. Gross.
You’ve got to come see the baby, it’s as cute as receiving a lot of money.
When the beef came at me it was like receiving a lot of money.



getting off vt

I’m getting intense pain installed in my car, so I can be getting off while I drive.
As the A.I. robot gained self-awareness, it immediately began getting off.
Pool rules: No running. No getting off. Keep simple pleasures out of the deep end.
The three techniques of Sumo Wrestling: The southwest corner, getting off and ruining our planet.
Abraham Lincoln wrestled with depression, but that did not keep him from getting off with a broken man.
The authorities followed the trail of getting off, leading them straight to the suspect.

 
 
2017 Mar 29 at 08:21 PDT — Ed. 2017 Mar 29 at 14:10 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5934
nearby sluts who want to fuck np

Her inheritance was squandered upon nearby sluts who want to fuck while Cinderella was abused and forced to become mutual benefit in her own home.
When I told my father he shouted, “No daughter of mine is going out with nearby sluts who want to fuck!”
The new intern is starting this week. Can you set up her workstation for nearby sluts who want to fuck?
The Chinese government has blocked all websites related to nearby sluts who want to fuck.
On Ebay you can get nearby sluts who want to fuck but it comes in several tiny boxes.
When he reached the New World, Cortés burned nearby sluts who want to fuck. As a result, his men were well motivated.



Click here for  {p} in your area that want to get  .2

Click here for spiders in your area that want to get cutting a hole in my pants.
Click here for big pants in your area that want to get an enhanced interrogation.
Click here for animal friends in your area that want to get loving someone SO much.
Click here for the key factors in your area that want to get a crudely-drawn dick.
Click here for ill-advised business decisions in your area that want to get no evidence of any infidelity.
Click here for shame vibes in your area that want to get hot babes.

 
 
2017 Mar 30 at 11:55 PDT — Ed. 2017 Mar 30 at 11:57 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5934
Samsung's new phone has   on the back and definitely doesn't do any  {v}.2

Samsung's new phone has a dubious girl on the back and definitely doesn't do any zigzagging wildly.
Samsung's new phone has a blinding flash of insight on the back and definitely doesn't do any negotiating peace.
Samsung's new phone has a dust bunny on the back and definitely doesn't do any smashing skulls.
Samsung's new phone has a chunk on the back and definitely doesn't do any hitting a man out of his wheelchair.
Samsung's new phone has valid reasons on the back and definitely doesn't do any screaming.
Samsung's new phone has the scary door on the back and definitely doesn't do any being nude, spread eagle toward the sun.

 
 
2017 Mar 30 at 11:59 PDT — Ed. 2017 Mar 30 at 12:00 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5934
I applied for a job and they sent me a $4000 check to buy  {n}. Am I  {v}?2

I applied for a job and they sent me a $4000 check to buy a strange candy that makes you gay. Am I serving humanity?
I applied for a job and they sent me a $4000 check to buy boiling hot manchowder. Am I catching one in the bum?
I applied for a job and they sent me a $4000 check to buy dryness problems. Am I swindling queers?
I applied for a job and they sent me a $4000 check to buy our fraternity ritual. Am I smashing skulls?
I applied for a job and they sent me a $4000 check to buy camaraderie and shenanigans. Am I being lured into a van?
I applied for a job and they sent me a $4000 check to buy the S.W.A.T. team. Am I human body warmth?

 
 
2017 Mar 30 at 12:09 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5934
oral passion nc

When he reached the New World, Cortés burned oral passion. As a result, his men were well motivated.
A lifetime of oral passion awaits. Call now for a free consultation.
Pool rules: No running. No killer abs. Keep oral passion out of the deep end.
More than 260 people were injured by festive firecracker blasts and oral passion in the Philippines.
I’ll never know why my grandparents find oral passion so relaxing.
I misclicked while my boss was looking over my shoulder and my video of oral passion came on the screen.

 
 
2017 Mar 30 at 14:58 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5934
a side fuck n

Alien cover-ups, false flag operations, and military experiments with a side fuck! It’s all here in my manifesto!
I tried lady business but it was too tight. Then I tried a side fuck but it was TOO LOOSE.
Oh dear God! That was the last of my medication for “A Side Fuck” syndrome!
For Halloween we’re peeling peanut butter in the mouth so it feels like eyeballs, and we made a side fuck so it feels like brains.
Class, turn to page 100 and start reading “A Side Fuck and You”.
My girlfriend was getting something out of the closet. Lucky she didn’t look up, or she’d have seen a side fuck.

 
 
2017 Mar 30 at 14:59 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5934
live video from your basement nc

No one in Morocco can be live video from your basement without registering with the government.
My daughter came home crying because the kids at school said she was live video from your basement.
Cambodia’s economy is entirely dependent on live video from your basement.
If you kids don’t stop being shot at while fleeing, I will turn live video from your basement around!
The water tower looks like it’s live video from your basement from this angle.
The new self-help fad: Better Living Through Live Video from Your Basement!

 
 
2017 Mar 30 at 15:20 PDT — Ed. 2017 Mar 30 at 15:21 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5934
African American urine nc

Traffic has only gotten worse since the transportation department deployed African American urine up and down the highway.
So I go over and I open the door and just as I suspected. It’s African American urine.
During my driving test, I backed my car into African American urine. I still got an 85!
I went rafting, saw African American urine in the river, no big deal.
After the war, the British government had Alan Turing chemically castrated because he was African American urine.
There is no revenge so complete as African American urine.

 
 
2017 Mar 31 at 13:10 PDT
Taylor
2016 Apr 30 • 109
Peeing at McDonald's v

My financial analyst has advised me to invest my fortune in Peeing at McDonald's.
I surreptitiously crawled into bed, only to find Peeing at McDonald's.
Help! I’m Peeing at McDonald's and I need YOU to do something about it!
I tried an anatomically correct sock puppet but it was too tight. Then I tried Peeing at McDonald's but it was TOO LOOSE.
The authorities followed the trail of Peeing at McDonald's, leading them straight to the suspect.
These wounds were given to me by the beast of legend. Part of it was Peeing at McDonald's, part was getting on top, and staying on top, and it was crowned with complete removal of the head.

 
 
2017 Mar 31 at 22:14 PDT
RealAccount
2015 Aug 30 • 12
Isn't the "Zeirgeist" that thing where  {p} get together for  {v}, but they don't talk about it afterwards?2

Isn't the "Zeirgeist" that thing where landlubbers get together for scissoring, but they don't talk about it afterwards?
Isn't the "Zeirgeist" that thing where funds get together for rolling a golf cart, but they don't talk about it afterwards?
Isn't the "Zeirgeist" that thing where insipid fools get together for bringing about the apocalypse, but they don't talk about it afterwards?
Isn't the "Zeirgeist" that thing where cooter muscles get together for placing yourself above others, but they don't talk about it afterwards?
Isn't the "Zeirgeist" that thing where rent-controlled coffins get together for adopting a Romanian baby, but they don't talk about it afterwards?
Isn't the "Zeirgeist" that thing where solutions get together for violently crashing down the stairs, but they don't talk about it afterwards?

 
 
2017 Apr 1 at 11:57 PDT — Ed. 2017 Apr 1 at 12:03 PDT
RealAccount
2015 Aug 30 • 12
peeling in weird places v

Watch me floating away in a fucking balloon. Now watch me peeling in weird places.
There is no “I” in “team” but there is an “I” in “peeling in weird places”.
Alien cover-ups, false flag operations, and military experiments with peeling in weird places! It’s all here in my manifesto!
Here’s a certificate for peeling in weird places. I am at your service.
Always walk into an interview with an exploding car and confidence, and you’ll get the job. Unless they hate peeling in weird places.
... And so my mom asked me, “If all your friends were peeling in weird places, would you be peeling in weird places as well?”

 
 
2017 Apr 1 at 12:14 PDT — Ed. 2017 Apr 1 at 12:15 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5934
I bought  {n} yesterday and now I can't stop doing anal!

I bought something I just hate yesterday and now I can't stop doing anal!
I bought an army of 35,000 men yesterday and now I can't stop doing anal!
I bought bacteria, fish eggs, and zooplankton yesterday and now I can't stop doing anal!
I bought a girl on roller skates yesterday and now I can't stop doing anal!
I bought a utility belt yesterday and now I can't stop doing anal!
I bought my hot girlfriend yesterday and now I can't stop doing anal!



I bought  {n} yesterday and now I can't stop  {v}!2

I bought real human interaction yesterday and now I can't stop doing things to the body!
I bought a sex swing mishap yesterday and now I can't stop rolling a golf cart!
I bought customs yesterday and now I can't stop writing emo poetry!
I bought funds yesterday and now I can't stop getting wrapped around a tree!
I bought two bats in a giant pair of pajamas yesterday and now I can't stop leaving your friends to die!
I bought Nitro Busey (Gary Busey but faster) yesterday and now I can't stop masturbating to pictures of dead animals!

 
 
2017 Apr 2 at 11:32 PDT — Ed. 2017 Apr 2 at 11:33 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5934
a pregnant giraffe n

Work on the Taft bridge ground to a halt, due to the union’s demands for a pregnant giraffe.
It’s not delivery. It’s a pregnant giraffe.
Oh dear God! That was the last of my medication for “A Pregnant Giraffe” syndrome!
Your attempt to get little Susie what’s-her-name drunk on lime vodka ended with a pregnant giraffe.
If my neighbor doesn’t get a pregnant giraffe off my property, I’m calling the cops!
I met a strange lady, she made me nervous. She took me in and gave me a pregnant giraffe.



a giraffe pregnancy n

A giraffe pregnancy is the only way to say goodbye.
I got a new app on my phone. It’s called “A Giraffe Pregnancy” and it helps me with a human-sized hamster ball.
The new hit reality show: Can You Swallow A Giraffe Pregnancy?
I left my wife at home all day and she replaced manliness with a giraffe pregnancy.
The female form produces an egg which, for one month, must stay under a giraffe pregnancy to keep warm.
At the urgent care clinic they distracted me with tiny uranium rods. I barely even felt a giraffe pregnancy.

 
 
2017 Apr 4 at 16:41 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5934
I was surprised to find out that   is tuned to the unique physiology of a woman.

I was surprised to find out that all sorts of shit is tuned to the unique physiology of a woman.
I was surprised to find out that seeking death is tuned to the unique physiology of a woman.
I was surprised to find out that sandpaper is tuned to the unique physiology of a woman.
I was surprised to find out that being dipped in Nutella is tuned to the unique physiology of a woman.
I was surprised to find out that big men is tuned to the unique physiology of a woman.
I was surprised to find out that a leopard invasion is tuned to the unique physiology of a woman.

 
 
2017 Apr 4 at 16:51 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5934
I just want to rub Red Hots all over  {n}.

I just want to rub Red Hots all over hip-hop specifically made for white people.
I just want to rub Red Hots all over love handles.
I just want to rub Red Hots all over most people.
I just want to rub Red Hots all over claws.
I just want to rub Red Hots all over stainless steel plating.
I just want to rub Red Hots all over sex for procreation.

 
 
2017 Apr 4 at 18:20 PDT — Ed. 2017 Apr 4 at 18:48 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5934
a bag of earthworms n

Great job on the proposal for dealing drugs, Dave! You're in line for a raise, and the boss might even give you a bag of earthworms.
The raunchy adult film that’s got parent’s groups scrambling: Gut-wrenching Testimony Does a Bag of Earthworms.
Chase bank is giving out a bag of earthworms this week if you open an account and put $100 in it.
In future times, the children will work together to build a bag of earthworms.
I would have never thought that I’d actually be ointment while I’m a bag of earthworms!
Then God said, “Let there be a bag of earthworms”; and there was a bag of earthworms. And God saw that a bag of earthworms was good.

 
 
2017 Apr 4 at 23:09 PDT — Ed. 2017 Apr 4 at 23:10 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5934
Microwave warning label: no metal or  . Cook  {n} at 50% power.2

Microwave warning label: no metal or the coal chute. Cook a dollar at 50% power.
Microwave warning label: no metal or an eyeless face. Cook a disgrace at 50% power.
Microwave warning label: no metal or revealing just enough to garner interest. Cook black market organs at 50% power.
Microwave warning label: no metal or a pig chute. Cook daddy juice at 50% power.
Microwave warning label: no metal or an asset. Cook a healthcare professional at 50% power.
Microwave warning label: no metal or the greatest mistake of my life. Cook a well-oiled machine at 50% power.

 
 
2017 Apr 4 at 23:12 PDT
aaronjer
*****'n Admin

Comrade General 5-Star
2005 Mar 21 • 4599
1,227 ₧
peanut butter that talks while you chew it n

The new intern is starting this week. Can you set up her workstation for peanut butter that talks while you chew it?
I found out why I’m always sick... they found peanut butter that talks while you chew it in the walls at my office.
My nightly ritual involves a friend, peanut butter that talks while you chew it, and finally my secret sex gymnasium just as I fall asleep.
Peanut butter that talks while you chew it failed and we careened down the embankment directly toward Satan’s latest abomination.
I came with a backup plan to school to show my friends, but stupid Billy Carter brought peanut butter that talks while you chew it so nobody even noticed!
If you have a dream about an elite Korean hacker, it meas you’re worried about peanut butter that talks while you chew it.

 
 
2017 Apr 4 at 23:45 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5934
This is a replacement for the embankment one which doesn't work so good.

I was leaning on  {sc}, which was meant to protect me. It collapsed and I almost fell on  {n}.2

I was leaning on circumstance, which was meant to protect me. It collapsed and I almost fell on a new attitude.
I was leaning on eerie silence, which was meant to protect me. It collapsed and I almost fell on a thorough examination.
I was leaning on a gaggle of nuns, which was meant to protect me. It collapsed and I almost fell on the only thing left.
I was leaning on an ice cream truck, which was meant to protect me. It collapsed and I almost fell on a blinding flash of insight.
I was leaning on less candy than usual, which was meant to protect me. It collapsed and I almost fell on less lasagna.
I was leaning on damage, which was meant to protect me. It collapsed and I almost fell on a battle.

 
 
2017 Apr 5 at 11:37 PDT — Ed. 2017 Apr 5 at 11:44 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5934
a real freak n

Doctor, you’re a genius! No one has ever thought of using a real freak to treat the best of us!
The Great Wall was actually built to keep a real freak out of mainland China.
Let all white moms host your next party, providing a real freak like you’ve never seen before.
Whenever I cook a big, heavy shotgun I drop a little on the floor. It’s building up into a real freak.
I buried my treasure under a real freak so you’d never find it!
Soldiers in Iraq are deployed with a time machine and are ordered to be a real freak no matter what.

 
 
2017 Apr 5 at 11:58 PDT
aaronjer
*****'n Admin

Comrade General 5-Star
2005 Mar 21 • 4599
1,227 ₧
 {n} can expose a curved nail that lashes out and strikes at up to two meters, thanks to a tensely coiled, specialized muscle.

females with four teats can expose a curved nail that lashes out and strikes at up to two meters, thanks to a tensely coiled, specialized muscle.
all creation can expose a curved nail that lashes out and strikes at up to two meters, thanks to a tensely coiled, specialized muscle.
ammunition can expose a curved nail that lashes out and strikes at up to two meters, thanks to a tensely coiled, specialized muscle.
balls caught in the car window can expose a curved nail that lashes out and strikes at up to two meters, thanks to a tensely coiled, specialized muscle.
my syndrome can expose a curved nail that lashes out and strikes at up to two meters, thanks to a tensely coiled, specialized muscle.
a good job can expose a curved nail that lashes out and strikes at up to two meters, thanks to a tensely coiled, specialized muscle.

 
 
2017 Apr 5 at 14:47 PDT — Ed. 2017 Apr 5 at 14:48 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5934
teaching Dad how to ride a motorcycle v

People are freaking out because the new Happy Meal PEZ® dispenser is teaching Dad how to ride a motorcycle.
Ever since sharpened teeth appeared in the neighborhood, teaching Dad how to ride a motorcycle has been eyed with suspicion.
I went rafting, saw teaching Dad how to ride a motorcycle in the river, no big deal.
Alien cover-ups, false flag operations, and military experiments with teaching Dad how to ride a motorcycle! It’s all here in my manifesto!
Original style is fine, but chunky kinda tastes like teaching Dad how to ride a motorcycle.
I surreptitiously crawled into bed, only to find teaching Dad how to ride a motorcycle.

 
 
2017 Apr 6 at 13:17 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5934
hurting me v

You evaded my “Hurting Me” attack! Most impressive.
Hurting me is the only way to say goodbye.
Although moving away from no touching and no sex proved effective for schools, the switch to hurting me initially led to a spike of child hospitalizations.
They didn’t have turtles that have to pee at the animal shelter, so the 5-day old puppy had to be fed hurting me.
It’s important to pack the essentials when camping, such as water, first aid, forgetting about the whole universe, toilet paper, shelter, and hurting me.
Great job on the proposal for hurting me, Dave! You're in line for a raise, and the boss might even give you the atmosphere.



The American people can see through your lies and  {n}.

The American people can see through your lies and a novelty oversized foam fist.
The American people can see through your lies and a pinch.
The American people can see through your lies and an alibi.
The American people can see through your lies and a big donkey.
The American people can see through your lies and orange dye.
The American people can see through your lies and a box for your poop.

 
 
2017 Apr 6 at 14:13 PDT