SuperJer Against Humanity Suggestions PART 2

SuperJer Against Humanity Suggestions PART 2

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SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5955
I need a little help with this one, guys. I think it might grow big and strong!

Back when I was _____, I got shot in _____ by _____.3

Back when I was springing into action, I got shot in my musk by not knowing or caring why.
Back when I was a quiver of love arrows, I got shot in hooking yourself up to a machine you know nothing about by the instructions.
Back when I was a code to live by, I got shot in almost no air left by a burst of energy.
Back when I was wet ketchup packets, I got shot in an electron sex party by an obstinate, but lovable grandfather.
Back when I was softer, cleaner poops, I got shot in maximum attitude by a carbon-neutral killing machine.
Back when I was struggling with a police officer, I got shot in a small chubby by the birth of a male heir.

 
 
2016 Feb 18 at 16:50 PST — Ed. 2016 Feb 21 at 19:21 PST
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5955
I'm stealing/modifying a few from r/cahideas:

Spice up the bedroom by _____.1

Spice up the bedroom by re-entering the ocean.
Spice up the bedroom by sharp claws.
Spice up the bedroom by adopting a Romanian baby.
Spice up the bedroom by door hinges, nails and chopped up horseshoes.
Spice up the bedroom by habanero salsa.
Spice up the bedroom by a lump in the blanket.



Putting sand in my pubes to make the crabs feel at home

An FBI raid on Michael Eisner’s seaside villa turned up putting sand in my pubes to make the crabs feel at home in every room.
Welcome to the neighborhood! I live in putting sand in my pubes to make the crabs feel at home across the street.
I surreptitiously crawled into bed, only to find putting sand in my pubes to make the crabs feel at home.
I had a really good childhood up until I was nine, then putting sand in my pubes to make the crabs feel at home really affected me.
Early rugby’s rules: carry the ball as bloody hell, score points by putting sand in my pubes to make the crabs feel at home, and tugging too hard shall not be on the field.
Science never solves a problem without creating putting sand in my pubes to make the crabs feel at home.



This workplace has gone (0) days without _____.1

This workplace has gone (0) days without an enjoyable life.
This workplace has gone (0) days without one thousand scorpions.
This workplace has gone (0) days without a homeless man jerking it on the bus.
This workplace has gone (0) days without a tuft.
This workplace has gone (0) days without your imaginary friend, Captain Howdy.
This workplace has gone (0) days without significant achievements.

 
 
2016 Feb 18 at 17:15 PST — Ed. 2016 Feb 21 at 19:20 PST
Nezumi
Asshole Admin

1-Up Medal
2005 Mar 26 • 554
175 ₧
A strange candy that makes you gay

a strange candy that makes you gay makes good neighbors.
The unofficial symbol of the United States is a strange candy that makes you gay.
It has been prophesied that the young king will eventually be killed by a strange candy that makes you gay.
Science never solves a problem without creating a strange candy that makes you gay.
A scandal erupted this week when prime ministers of Australia and Canada were caught with a strange candy that makes you gay.
... And so my mom asked me, “If all your friends were a strange candy that makes you gay, would you be a strange candy that makes you gay as well?”


This stew made from eyeballs

Any man who can drive safely while kissing this stew made from eyeballs is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves.
this stew made from eyeballs is not horrible if a child is doing it.
The new self-help fad: Better Living Through this stew made from eyeballs!
When he reached the New World, Cortés burned this stew made from eyeballs. As a result, his men were well motivated.
A social skill is any skill facilitating a traffic cop and this stew made from eyeballs with others.
The only way to make sense out of this stew made from eyeballs is to plunge into it, move with it, and join the dance.


Feasting and slaughter

Everything I need to live on a desert island: copycats with feasting and slaughter.
J. Robert Oppenheimer is often called the father of feasting and slaughter.
The rich aroma of feasting and slaughter, from the hills of Columbia.
The new bill before congress would mandate a ghoulish feast and provide subsidies for feasting and slaughter.
How high do you have to be to put feasting and slaughter on what’s inside?
Ich bin ein feasting and slaughter.

 
 
2016 Feb 18 at 21:57 PST — Ed. 2016 Feb 20 at 19:33 PST
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5955
No time to test -- gotta write these down!

Burning my dick on my tortoise's heat lamp

Woah, burning my dick on my tortoise's heat lamp! I’m gonna put my mouth on it!
My financial analyst had advised me against investing all my money in burning my dick on my tortoise's heat lamp.
Don’t email me at work! Email me at my personal address: a vast treasury of specimens@burning my dick on my tortoise's heat lamp.net
burning my dick on my tortoise's heat lamp can be eaten most successfully if you inhale it like a vacuum cleaner.
The unofficial symbol of the United States is burning my dick on my tortoise's heat lamp.
burning my dick on my tortoise's heat lamp: The President’s unimaginative campaign slogan.


Walking backwards into John Cena

Our mystical secret society is dedicated to elucidating the mysteries of walking backwards into John Cena and zigzagging wildly.
There is no “I” in “team” but there is an “I” in “walking backwards into John Cena”.
Outrageous new comedy: 2 best friends and a kiss on the lips take a road trip, and discover walking backwards into John Cena along the way.
There is no revenge so complete as walking backwards into John Cena.
“You didn’t even get me anything for my birthday!” “Yes I did, remember walking backwards into John Cena?”
Furious that I had peed into his spellbook, the sorcerer turned me into walking backwards into John Cena.



Also, what thing would make you straight? I feel like that one needs a complement. Maybe a chair? Or a straight-jacket (LOL RIGHT GUISE?)
 
 
2016 Feb 21 at 17:13 PST — Ed. 2016 Feb 21 at 19:08 PST
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5955
YOU MAY HAVE NOTICED!

This truck now understands S.A.H. Cards! When posting a new card idea, please select the text and press the button! It will automatically detect white or black cards, including the number of blanks. See the button hover text if you want to set the Play number yourself. And of course, it also generates some random rolls for your card!

Here are some crappy examples I used to test it out:

Let us stand now for a recitation of _____.

Let us stand now for a recitation of slow diarrhea.
Let us stand now for a recitation of a debased woman.
Let us stand now for a recitation of infinite sausage.
Let us stand now for a recitation of a car crash.
Let us stand now for a recitation of big pants.
Let us stand now for a recitation of stubby fingers.



Bumcivilian

Science never solves a problem without creating bumcivilian.
You’ve got to come see the baby, it’s as cute as bumcivilian.
Then God said, “Let there be bumcivilian”; and there was bumcivilian. And God saw that bumcivilian was good.
But I promised my kids they could get bumcivilian for Christmas!
The first item of evidence in The People vs. bumcivilian is overwatch.
Throughout human history, bumcivilian has been the first activity of explorers of any new region.



WhatEVER

whatEVER: It’s nature’s candy!
My religion demands that I must always have piles of limbs, and that I must abstain from whatEVER.
Their rising all at once was as the sound of whatEVER heard remote.
Doctor, you’re a genius! No one has ever thought of using fist pumping to treat whatEVER!
whatEVER is the only way to say goodbye.
whatEVER”: A new sport for boys and girls.



Back in my day, we had _____ for _____ and we LIKED IT.2

Back in my day, we had a jaunty tune for zombie fucking and we LIKED IT.
Back in my day, we had big men for getting excited and throwing yourself in the mantrap and we LIKED IT.
Back in my day, we had an actual rusty trombone for my picture and we LIKED IT.
Back in my day, we had running and jumping into the darkness and hoping nothing kills you for a feather and we LIKED IT.
Back in my day, we had a tug for blacking out and making a sex sound and we LIKED IT.
Back in my day, we had peeing crabs for human murder and we LIKED IT.



A terrorist

The new self-help fad: Better Living Through a terrorist!
You remind me of a terrorist because you are always kissing ass with your dick to me.
The transferred sperm cells are kept in a terrorist, where they can remain viable for longer periods.
a terrorist makes good neighbors.
Traditionally, vampires and other undead are repelled by a terrorist.
Single white female seeking long term relationship, if you’re into a terrorist, get to the front of the line.



When you learn to love _____, _____ will learn to love you.1

When you learn to love a yellow suit, a yellow suit will learn to love you.
When you learn to love hors d’oeuvres, hors d’oeuvres will learn to love you.
When you learn to love Schizo Batman, Schizo Batman will learn to love you.
When you learn to love a robotic policeman, a robotic policeman will learn to love you.
When you learn to love a beefy meal, a beefy meal will learn to love you.
When you learn to love sinister plans, sinister plans will learn to love you.

 
 
2016 Feb 21 at 17:44 PST — Ed. 2016 Feb 21 at 19:22 PST
Nezumi
Asshole Admin

1-Up Medal
2005 Mar 26 • 554
175 ₧
A kind mistress of willing slaves

Everything I need to live on a desert island: a kind mistress of willing slaves with things falling into place.
Furious that I had peed into his spellbook, the sorcerer turned me into a kind mistress of willing slaves.
At my 9th birthday, we had a demonic religious lie piñata that burst open showering a kind mistress of willing slaves on us kids.
How high do you have to be to put a kind mistress of willing slaves on crab stuffing?
That’s not funny. My dad was killed by a kind mistress of willing slaves.
Class, turn to page 100 and start reading “a kind mistress of willing slaves”.

 
 
2016 Feb 22 at 03:58 PST
NatureJay
SJA: Commander of Ruthless Abuse

Good Conduct Medal
2005 Mar 22 • 1871
574 ₧
This is cool for now, but there's going to be hell to pay when I finish my alphabert.
100% natural, no antibiotics, and bloodgrass-fed
 
 
2016 Feb 22 at 06:29 PST
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5955
It may be hell to pay for the average internet goer, but when I get around to adding them to the deck it'll save me a lot of time. I always test all the cards before adding them.
 
 
2016 Feb 22 at 08:42 PST
buq25

2008 Jul 5 • 572
295 ₧
SuperJer said:
It may be hell to pay for the average internet goer, but when I get around to adding them to the deck it'll save me a lot of time. I always test all the cards before adding them.

What about adding a button next to each CARD that does all this work then, instead of having it constantly enabled? Then you could also have the button generate another 5 at any point you wish to test the card more.
Today's post brought to you by the letter: "heck".
 
 
2016 Feb 22 at 12:32 PST
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5955
Good idea.

But it's more work... we'll see.
 
 
2016 Feb 22 at 15:19 PST
Nezumi
Asshole Admin

1-Up Medal
2005 Mar 26 • 554
175 ₧
Tasty Feast® brand Tent Caterpillars

Our mystical secret society is dedicated to elucidating the mysteries of many scientific fields and Tasty Feast® brand Tent Caterpillars.
1) A robot may not injure Tasty Feast® brand Tent Caterpillars, or through inaction allow Tasty Feast® brand Tent Caterpillars to come to harm.
I got a new app on my phone. It’s called “Tasty Feast® brand Tent Caterpillars” and it helps me with a honey bee’s brain.
The terrorists will execute one hostage every 20 minutes unless they receive Tasty Feast® brand Tent Caterpillars.
What’s in the fridge? Soda, OJ, Tasty Feast® brand Tent Caterpillars... Sweet! Sunny-D!
Tasty Feast® brand Tent Caterpillars has proven extremely popular among young, urban audiences in focus testing.

 
 
2016 Feb 23 at 01:04 PST
NatureJay
SJA: Commander of Ruthless Abuse

Good Conduct Medal
2005 Mar 22 • 1871
574 ₧
I've been sitting on a card suggestion for a while now, so I think I'll use the new functionality as an opportunity to test it out.

If we are to progress as a nation, we must come together and stop the threat of _____.

If we are to progress as a nation, we must come together and stop the threat of NAMBLA.
If we are to progress as a nation, we must come together and stop the threat of empowerment.
If we are to progress as a nation, we must come together and stop the threat of an itchy shirt tag.
If we are to progress as a nation, we must come together and stop the threat of bear sperm.
If we are to progress as a nation, we must come together and stop the threat of an aptitude for climbing.
If we are to progress as a nation, we must come together and stop the threat of the gravy dimension.

100% natural, no antibiotics, and bloodgrass-fed
 
 
2016 Feb 26 at 06:25 PST — Ed. 2016 Feb 26 at 11:50 PST
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5955
Protip -- you can edit and repost until you get a good roll. It's not against the rules.

Is it against the rules to do _____?

Is it against the rules to do significant achievements?
Is it against the rules to do justice for all?
Is it against the rules to do a war canoe?
Is it against the rules to do the hand in my pocket?
Is it against the rules to do a fisherman?
Is it against the rules to do Tony’s prison baby?



My tax refund

After last week’s stunning victory, the wrestler earned his nickname “my tax refund
This is my second kid. My first one came out as my tax refund.
You put my tax refund back right now, young man, you’ve already had yours!
Happiness: a useful tip, going solo, and my tax refund.
my tax refund: It’s nature’s candy!
God didn’t create me. God created my tax refund. And my tax refund created me.



A purely political move

When I told my father he shouted, “No daughter of mine is going out with a purely political move!”
What’s in the fridge? Soda, OJ, a purely political move... Sweet! Sunny-D!
Furious that I had peed into his spellbook, the sorcerer turned me into a purely political move.
Jan Sobieski, leading the largest cavalry charge in history, rode into battle atop a purely political move.
The new summer blockbuster targeted at tweens features a girl with a purely political move and a mysterious boy who fights sloppier thirds.
I dug around for hours in the trash but never found a purely political move.

 
 
2016 Feb 26 at 11:30 PST — Ed. 2016 Feb 26 at 11:33 PST
NatureJay
SJA: Commander of Ruthless Abuse

Good Conduct Medal
2005 Mar 22 • 1871
574 ₧
Ooo. Well if it isn't against the rules, I'll go with what I got from the second roll. Something about coming together and ending the pederasty that's holding a nation back really works (looking at you, Greece)
100% natural, no antibiotics, and bloodgrass-fed
 
 
2016 Feb 26 at 11:51 PST
jeff is wizlord

2014 Nov 12 • 280
Laughing with your smile on

Thank you ladies and gentlemen! For my next performance art piece, I will be Laughing with your smile on.
He also named a city in India “Laughing with your smile on” after his dead horse.
You evaded my “Laughing with your smile on” attack! Most impressive.
Jesus is Laughing with your smile on.
It has been prophesied that the young king will eventually be killed by Laughing with your smile on.
Laughing with your smile on is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop.

 
 
2016 Mar 1 at 19:35 PST
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5955
When I get older, I don't want to be _____.

When I get older, I don't want to be a conventional man.
When I get older, I don't want to be becoming an adult.
When I get older, I don't want to be succumbing to nature.
When I get older, I don't want to be a state trooper.
When I get older, I don't want to be my point of view.
When I get older, I don't want to be kevlar underwear.



I can learn to love _____.

I can learn to love a traffic cone full of bibimbap.
I can learn to love my beautiful, transgender father.
I can learn to love gut-wrenching testimony.
I can learn to love a bear in a trashcan.
I can learn to love a rip.
I can learn to love their mothers.

 
 
2016 Mar 2 at 11:13 PST — Ed. 2016 Mar 2 at 11:16 PST
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5955
Bringing the babies in the wrong way

In the end, the obvious plot twist was that the serial killer was actually bringing the babies in the wrong way.
The rich aroma of bringing the babies in the wrong way, from the hills of Columbia.
Authorities were tallying damage from bringing the babies in the wrong way that struck southern California Friday evening.
bringing the babies in the wrong way can be eaten most successfully if you inhale it like a vacuum cleaner.
I like my women like I like bringing the babies in the wrong way: with extradition.
J. Robert Oppenheimer is often called the father of bringing the babies in the wrong way.

 
 
2016 Mar 8 at 19:59 PST — Ed. 2016 Mar 8 at 20:09 PST
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5955
Something a mother whale would do

I dug around for hours in the trash but never found something a mother whale would do.
This is my second kid. My first one came out as something a mother whale would do.
Help! I can’t find my daughter! She looks like doing your best and trying your hardest and is carrying something a mother whale would do.
You put something a mother whale would do back right now, young man, you’ve already had yours!
It’s important to pack the essentials when camping, such as water, first aid, something a mother whale would do, toilet paper, shelter, and vacuous remarks.
I got a new app on my phone. It’s called “something a mother whale would do” and it helps me with oozing holes.



A bellow of sympathy

I am become a bellow of sympathy, the destroyer of worlds.
After 6 grueling years, my partner and I have created a bellow of sympathy.
The city condemned our house after finding a bellow of sympathy in the crawlspace.
Chimps in the wild have been observed using a bellow of sympathy to forage for food.
Woah, a bellow of sympathy! I’m gonna put my mouth on it!
In the end, the obvious plot twist was that the serial killer was actually a bellow of sympathy.



Lying perfectly still

Happiness: an exhumed corpse, keepin’ it tight, and lying perfectly still.
It has been prophesied that the young king will eventually be killed by lying perfectly still.
How embarrassing! I forget I left lying perfectly still in the foyer.
In a world with the taste of Rohypnol lying perfectly still, one man must overcome more blood. Coming this summer.
The way to the lost city was perilous, and we soon found ourselves knee deep in lying perfectly still.
Jan Sobieski, leading the largest cavalry charge in history, rode into battle atop lying perfectly still.



 
 
2016 Mar 11 at 20:03 PST
Signa
2013 Dec 28 • 152
A crusty hummer

You evaded my “a crusty hummer” attack! Most impressive.
The 7 deadly sins: lust, gluttony, a crusty hummer, sloth, wrath, twerking while uncontrollably farting, and pride.
Single white female seeking long term relationship, if you’re into a crusty hummer, get to the front of the line.
Holy dogshit, Texas! Only a crusty hummer and circumcising your dad come from Texas, Private Cowboy!
a crusty hummer! a crusty hummer! My kingdom for a crusty hummer!
Help! I can’t find my daughter! She looks like a crusty hummer and is carrying running around slamming doors.

 
 
2016 Mar 11 at 20:11 PST
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5955
Ew.
 
 
2016 Mar 11 at 22:09 PST
NatureJay
SJA: Commander of Ruthless Abuse

Good Conduct Medal
2005 Mar 22 • 1871
574 ₧
My goal with this one to try to stay in the PG-13 range (b and x are questionable). We have too many cards about butts and pooping, so I wanted to try something different. Some of these may work better in two-fors than solo. B is from Achewood, G is from advertisement I saw on TV, P is from Legend of the Mystical Ninja and you'd better say it right, R is from Sealab 2021, S is Ren and Stimpy, U was... I don't know, I looked at one of Nez' posts of L4D2 stuff and said "that has a u!", Y was an experiment that may or may not work. If these aren't satisfactory, feel free to tweak or disregard them.

An alibi

Science never solves a problem without creating An alibi.
The best comfort food will always be greens, An alibi, and fried chicken.
Amtrak officials confirm An alibi would have prevented train derailment.
Holy dogshit, Texas! Only An alibi and a strangler come from Texas, Private Cowboy!
I’m undergoing immersion therapy by continually exposing myself to An alibi.
An alibi... like a woman’s.


A bitch as nasty as that

But I promised my kids they could get A bitch as nasty as that for Christmas!
Woah, A bitch as nasty as that! I’m gonna put my mouth on it!
Outrageous new comedy: 2 best friends and spicy saliva take a road trip, and discover A bitch as nasty as that along the way.
After the war, the British government had Alan Turing chemically castrated because he was A bitch as nasty as that.
Class, turn to page 100 and start reading “A bitch as nasty as that”.
1) A robot may not injure A bitch as nasty as that, or through inaction allow A bitch as nasty as that to come to harm.


Cockfighting

Welcome to the neighborhood! I live in Cockfighting across the street.
You evaded my “Cockfighting” attack! Most impressive.
It’s important to pack the essentials when camping, such as water, first aid, Cockfighting, toilet paper, shelter, and running and jumping into the darkness and hoping nothing kills you.
Single white female seeking long term relationship, if you’re into Cockfighting, get to the front of the line.
... And so my mom asked me, “If all your friends were Cockfighting, would you be Cockfighting as well?”
What’s in the fridge? Soda, OJ, Cockfighting... Sweet! Sunny-D!


Any decent person

Cambodia’s economy is entirely dependent on Any decent person.
Any decent person makes good neighbors.
That’s not funny. My dad was killed by Any decent person.
In Brea several people suffered minor injuries during Any decent person that overturned their car.
After last week’s stunning victory, the wrestler earned his nickname “Any decent person
The new summer blockbuster targeted at tweens features a girl with a great review and a mysterious boy who fights Any decent person.


My exoskeleton

J. Robert Oppenheimer is often called the father of My exoskeleton.
Alien cover-ups, false flag operations, and military experiments with My exoskeleton! It’s all here in my manifesto!
When a person has My exoskeleton, sometimes their mind clicks that this thing will win arguments and straighten people out.
Traditionally, vampires and other undead are repelled by My exoskeleton.
Leopards are smaller than most of the Panthera genus, but they are able to take large prey due to My exoskeleton.
The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for 30 years she served my family nothing but My exoskeleton.


Fate

Ha! You activated my trap card, “judgment!” You’re cursed with Fate until the end of the game!
CAUTION: Keep Fate out of hopper and chute opening. Failure to comply risks personal injury.
In a world with a feather Fate, one man must overcome raw recruits. Coming this summer.
Then God said, “Let there be Fate”; and there was Fate. And God saw that Fate was good.
Experts said that based on preliminary data, Fate appears to have occurred on the Puente Hills thrust fault.
See now black people walk like Fate. But white people -- white people walk like they’re reasonable stereotypes!


Good bacteria

I went rafting, saw Good bacteria in the river, no big deal.
At my 9th birthday, we had mom piñata that burst open showering Good bacteria on us kids.
I’ve been dancing to the new single by “Fancy Santas and Good bacteria”.
Dear diary, today I went into the city and saw Good bacteria for the first time!
When the beef came at me it was like Good bacteria.
I refuse to roleplay as anything but Good bacteria.


History's greatest monster

There is no “I” in “team” but there is an “I” in “History's greatest monster”.
Driving late at night, I was horrified to find History's greatest monster in the back seat.
I came home to find History's greatest monster replaced with a strongly-worded letter.
History's greatest monster: It’s nature’s candy!
I buried my treasure under History's greatest monster so you’d never find it!
And before I let your steam drill beat me down, I’ll die with History's greatest monster in my hand.


Human Ingenuity

The 7 deadly sins: lust, gluttony, a ripe body, sloth, wrath, Human Ingenuity, and pride.
How high do you have to be to put Human Ingenuity on Ruth Bader Ginsburg’s frilly neckerchief?
When Human Ingenuity is ready, nosy neighbors will appear.
Apparently, “Human Ingenuity” is a dance move in the Hip-Hop and B-Boy community.
Don’t email me at work! Email me at my personal address: Human Ingenuity@a planet where apes evolved from men.net
He also named a city in India “Human Ingenuity” after his dead horse.


The smoothest Jazz scientifically possible

Help! I can’t find my daughter! She looks like The smoothest Jazz scientifically possible and is carrying aged beef.
Everything I need to live on a desert island: The smoothest Jazz scientifically possible with my quarry.
Some are born with The smoothest Jazz scientifically possible, some achieve The smoothest Jazz scientifically possible, and some have The smoothest Jazz scientifically possible thrust upon them.
I’m having a picnic no one will forget! Bring The smoothest Jazz scientifically possible.
The transferred sperm cells are kept in The smoothest Jazz scientifically possible, where they can remain viable for longer periods.
The thief was caught stealing never coming to fruition from the sultan, and so was thrown into the pit of The smoothest Jazz scientifically possible.


All the King's treasure

The rich aroma of All the King's treasure, from the hills of Columbia.
“You didn’t even get me anything for my birthday!” “Yes I did, remember All the King's treasure?”
That’s Captain Rogers the Rancorous of “All the King's treasure,” the finest ship in the harbor!
A social skill is any skill facilitating lots of rattled nerves and All the King's treasure with others.
I dug around for hours in the trash but never found All the King's treasure.
The new self-help fad: Better Living Through All the King's treasure!


A lovable loser

Men, like A lovable loser, go farthest when they are smoothest.
In the end, the obvious plot twist was that the serial killer was actually A lovable loser.
More than 260 people were injured by festive firecracker blasts and A lovable loser in the Philippines.
A lovable loser is not horrible if a child is doing it.
Furious that I had peed into his spellbook, the sorcerer turned me into A lovable loser.
The only way to make sense out of A lovable loser is to plunge into it, move with it, and join the dance.


The Mayor

Voltron assemble! The Mayor forms the left arm!
When the celestial spheres align, The Mayor will descend from the heavens.
If The Mayor were in the Olympics, Finland would be in great shape!
The new hit reality show: Can You Swallow The Mayor?
Meet me by the new modern art installation downtown. You know, it’s The Mayor straddled by a salty sailor.
Sir, you have a phone call. Something about The Mayor?


Nipping it in the bud

A BBC team has witnessed the devastating effects of Nipping it in the bud on civilians in rebel-held areas of Syria.
There is no revenge so complete as Nipping it in the bud.
Thank you ladies and gentlemen! For my next performance art piece, I will be Nipping it in the bud.
I didn’t think this house would sell with wrestling alligators in the attic. Anyway, I’m Nipping it in the bud.
Ich bin ein Nipping it in the bud.
Squad, circle up. It’s time to talk Nipping it in the bud.


The orbital socket

I met a strange lady, she made me nervous. She took me in and gave me The orbital socket.
Every French soldier carries The orbital socket in his knapsack.
I went to cut the cake, and to my delight, The orbital socket popped out!
In this 15th century painting, 60 seconds is represented by a man with The orbital socket for a head.
Life without love is like The orbital socket without a launch or fruit.
USGS seismologist Lucy Jones said the 5.1 quake has a 5% chance of being The orbital socket.


Plasma

When eating alone I prefer a special kind of sandwich: layers of yuppie flu and Plasma.
Bumper sticker: My other ride is Plasma.
God didn’t create me. God created Plasma. And Plasma created me.
Aww! My mom packed a terrible lunch: Plasma and dark magic.
My house. 8 o’clock. Plasma.
I tried to sneak out of the store with Plasma under one arm and juicing up down my pants.


A sassy saquatch

My daughter came home crying because the kids at school said she was A sassy saquatch.
Come on down to Golden Corral for A sassy saquatch.
Music without the sounds of A sassy saquatch is hardly music at all.
The White House will no longer enforce A sassy saquatch Act of 1959.
Police were able to track the suspect after finding DNA evidence in A sassy saquatch.
When he reached the New World, Cortés burned A sassy saquatch. As a result, his men were well motivated.


A robot body

A robot body! A robot body! My kingdom for A robot body!
The doctor held up my x-ray and I could just make out A robot body.
I surreptitiously crawled into bed, only to find A robot body.
You’ve got to come see the baby, it’s as cute as A robot body.
The three techniques of Sumo Wrestling: freewill, sock puppets and A robot body.
The new bill before congress would mandate A robot body and provide subsidies for “forgetting” to knock.


Space madness

Original style is fine, but chunky kinda tastes like Space madness.
In the public Space madness model, a third-party service provider delivers the Space madness service over the Internet.
On my way to work today, I had to swerve around Space madness on the freeway.
I am become Space madness, the destroyer of worlds.
It has been prophesied that the young king will eventually be killed by Space madness.
Chimps in the wild have been observed using Space madness to forage for food.


A tender moment

Jesus is A tender moment.
The school district had to pay a lot of hush money to parents after the “A tender moment” incident in the science lab.
At the new Asian-inspired restaurant downtown, the chef will prepare A tender moment right at your table.
Let a trail of footprints host your next party, providing A tender moment like you’ve never seen before.
McDonald’s combo menu #3: Double Quarter Pounder with Cheese, a large Coke, and a side of A tender moment.
The way to the lost city was perilous, and we soon found ourselves knee deep in A tender moment.


Wang Chunging at any other time

An FBI raid on Michael Eisner’s seaside villa turned up Wang Chunging at any other time in every room.
How embarrassing! I forget I left Wang Chunging at any other time in the foyer.
During routine surgery, the doctors found Wang Chunging at any other time embedded in my abdomen.
Throughout human history, Wang Chunging at any other time has been the first activity of explorers of any new region.
When I told my father he shouted, “No daughter of mine is going out with Wang Chunging at any other time!”
Early rugby’s rules: carry the ball as Wang Chunging at any other time, score points by a pinch, and novelty gag dildo shall not be on the field.


A tin of Vienna sausages

Jan Sobieski, leading the largest cavalry charge in history, rode into battle atop A tin of Vienna sausages.
It’s lucky to touch A tin of Vienna sausages; it’s even luckier to touch someone else’s.
I thought I was being attacked, and I defended myself with A tin of Vienna sausages.
Military scientists in Syria found traces of A tin of Vienna sausages in the soil.
I like my women like I like A tin of Vienna sausages: with spooning distance.
Hark! What A tin of Vienna sausages through yonder window breaks?


Waterboarding friends and family

When I told my doctor I couldn’t afford an operation, he offered Waterboarding friends and family operation.
The first item of evidence in The People vs. a Korean hacker is Waterboarding friends and family.
The unofficial symbol of the United States is Waterboarding friends and family.
Authorities were tallying damage from Waterboarding friends and family that struck southern California Friday evening.
You can’t get Waterboarding friends and family big enough or a Victorian penny dreadful long enough to suit me.
Nancy Drew and the Mystery of Waterboarding friends and family.


Exhibitionist tendencies

Can I get some floss? There’s Exhibitionist tendencies between my teeth.
It’s not delivery. It’s Exhibitionist tendencies.
My religion demands that I must always have Exhibitionist tendencies, and that I must abstain from removing a uterine tumor with my teeth.
These wounds were given to me by the beast of legend. Part of it was pulsating opposite sexes, part was an imitation poop spiral, and it was crowned with Exhibitionist tendencies.
Damn it! I got Exhibitionist tendencies jammed in the wheel well again.
Exhibitionist tendencies is the only way to say goodbye.


Why don't you tell me

When presented with animalistic hunger, Why don't you tell me will fart blood in anticipation.
Since I deserve it, I am going to reward myself with Why don't you tell me.
Why don't you tell me has proven extremely popular among young, urban audiences in focus testing.
Doctor, you’re a genius! No one has ever thought of using one mile of train rail to treat Why don't you tell me!
Abraham Lincoln wrestled with depression, but that did not keep him from horsing around with Why don't you tell me.
A scandal erupted this week when prime ministers of Australia and Canada were caught with Why don't you tell me.


Zany antics

Populations of endangered rhinoceros are threatened by Zany antics and getting HUGE.
I wasn’t always black... there was Zany antics, and it got bigger and bigger.
My financial analyst had advised me against investing all my money in Zany antics.
Kirkland mom makes $20,000 a week with Zany antics.
India is launching a rocket to test the effects of micro-gravity on Zany antics.
prancing piglets brings Zany antics and a smile to a child’s face.

100% natural, no antibiotics, and bloodgrass-fed
 
 
2016 Mar 15 at 08:02 PDT — Ed. 2016 Mar 15 at 08:05 PDT
NatureJay
SJA: Commander of Ruthless Abuse

Good Conduct Medal
2005 Mar 22 • 1871
574 ₧
Gonna re-roll this one a few times and see if we get better results:

Why don't you tell me

This ship’s gonna sink unless we throw Why don't you tell me overboard!
You’ve got to come see the baby, it’s as cute as Why don't you tell me.
My daughter came home crying because the kids at school said she was Why don't you tell me.
The city condemned our house after finding Why don't you tell me in the crawlspace.
Someone has to die in order that the rest of us should value Why don't you tell me more. Now hold still.
It’s important to pack the essentials when camping, such as water, first aid, Why don't you tell me, toilet paper, shelter, and a non-steroidal anti-inflammatory drug.

100% natural, no antibiotics, and bloodgrass-fed
 
 
2016 Mar 15 at 16:48 PDT — Ed. 2016 Mar 15 at 16:50 PDT
aaronjer
*****'n Admin

Comrade General 5-Star
2005 Mar 21 • 4599
1,227 ₧
Completely avoiding conflict

When I told my doctor I couldn’t afford an operation, he offered completely avoiding conflict operation.
I’m undergoing immersion therapy by continually exposing myself to completely avoiding conflict.
Don’t email me at work! Email me at my personal address: a wall of spikes@completely avoiding conflict.net
I thought I was being attacked, and I defended myself with completely avoiding conflict.
It’s lucky to touch completely avoiding conflict; it’s even luckier to touch someone else’s.
completely avoiding conflict... like a woman’s.

 
 
2016 Mar 15 at 17:50 PDT
aaronjer
*****'n Admin

Comrade General 5-Star
2005 Mar 21 • 4599
1,227 ₧
Basing my opinion on internet articles

A lifetime of basing my opinion on internet articles awaits. Call now for a free consultation.
Don’t email me at work! Email me at my personal address: feeling manful@basing my opinion on internet articles.net
If basing my opinion on internet articles were in the Olympics, Finland would be in great shape!
McDonald’s combo menu #3: Double Quarter Pounder with Cheese, a large Coke, and a side of basing my opinion on internet articles.
basing my opinion on internet articles”: A new sport for boys and girls.
I reached expectantly into a strongly-worded letter, but found only basing my opinion on internet articles.

 
 
2016 Mar 15 at 17:51 PDT — Ed. 2016 Mar 15 at 17:51 PDT
aaronjer
*****'n Admin

Comrade General 5-Star
2005 Mar 21 • 4599
1,227 ₧
Never being appreciated

never being appreciated... like a woman’s.
Doctor, you’re a genius! No one has ever thought of using never being appreciated to treat one night in Bangkok!
It has been prophesied that the young king will eventually be killed by never being appreciated.
USGS seismologist Lucy Jones said the 5.1 quake has a 5% chance of being never being appreciated.
Abraham Lincoln wrestled with depression, but that did not keep him from the basic unit of physics with never being appreciated.
Welcome to the neighborhood! I live in never being appreciated across the street.

 
 
2016 Mar 15 at 17:52 PDT