SuperJer Against Humanity Suggestions PART 2

SuperJer Against Humanity Suggestions PART 2

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Nezumi
Asshole Admin

1-Up Medal
2005 Mar 26 • 554
175 ₧
a hilarious action n

After the war, the British government had Alan Turing chemically castrated because he was a hilarious action.
Kraft Foods has announced that it will phase out the use of a hilarious action in its food processing operations.
I wasn’t always black... there was a hilarious action, and it got bigger and bigger.
The doctor held up my x-ray and I could just make out a hilarious action.
Music without the sounds of a hilarious action is hardly music at all.
Until quite recently, a hilarious action had the highest tensile strength of any substance known to man.



your bellybutton n

The transferred sperm cells are kept in your bellybutton, where they can remain viable for longer periods.
You evaded my “Your Bellybutton” attack! Most impressive.
The three techniques of Sumo Wrestling: The inside, your bellybutton and Mexican forces.
I found out why I’m always sick... they found your bellybutton in the walls at my office.
In the end, the obvious plot twist was that the serial killer was actually your bellybutton.
I dug around for hours in the trash but never found your bellybutton.

 
 
2016 Jul 12 at 21:34 PDT — Ed. 2016 Jul 13 at 17:20 PDT
Crytax
Ph. D in Cryonics

2006 Apr 26 • 317
11 ₧
The world’s smallest water heater nc

It’s lucky to touch The world’s smallest water heater; it’s even luckier to touch mine.
This is my second kid. My first one came out as The world’s smallest water heater.
If you kids don’t stop pooping for four hours a day, I will turn The world’s smallest water heater around!
In Brea several people suffered minor injuries during The world’s smallest water heater that overturned their car.
I was vacuuming when I sucked The world’s smallest water heater out from under the couch. I kept pulling until skin slack came out too!
You evaded my “The World’s Smallest Water Heater” attack! Most impressive.



The polite scorn of a Canadian nc

In public restrooms, I’m always afraid someone will walk in, all The polite scorn of a Canadian, right while I’m completely avoiding conflict.
J. Robert Oppenheimer is often called the father of The polite scorn of a Canadian.
The polite scorn of a Canadian produces an egg which, for one month, must stay under anorexia to keep warm.
The Japanese insist on their traditional right to hunt The polite scorn of a Canadian in the sea.
I got that fly in here as a pet! Do you want to see the racy picture we took with The polite scorn of a Canadian?
Aww! My mom packed a terrible lunch: The polite scorn of a Canadian and a quality buttplug.



Bountiful amounts of stray LEGO pieces np

Nancy Drew and the Mystery of Bountiful Amounts of Stray LEGO Pieces.
Pool rules: No running. No Bountiful amounts of stray LEGO pieces. Keep a skin tag out of the deep end.
Traffic is backed up for 7 miles due to an overturned semi hauling Bountiful amounts of stray LEGO pieces. The driver was negotiating peace.
Welcome to Denny’s®! I am a battle. Would you like to try our new special, Bountiful amounts of stray LEGO pieces?
God didn’t create me. God created Bountiful amounts of stray LEGO pieces. And Bountiful amounts of stray LEGO pieces created me.
Until quite recently, Bountiful amounts of stray LEGO pieces had the highest tensile strength of any substance known to man.



Flimsy toilet paper nc

The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for 30 years she served my family nothing but Flimsy toilet paper.
My fiancee wants our wedding cake to look like it’s a virus, with Flimsy toilet paper around the edges, and grunting mermaids on top.
At the book signing, George R.R. Martin signed my copy of ‟A Song of Flimsy Toilet Paper”! I shook his hand and it felt like Flimsy toilet paper.
Thank you ladies and gentlemen! For my next performance art piece, I will be Flimsy toilet paper.
I refuse to roleplay as anything but Flimsy toilet paper.
It’s not delivery. It’s Flimsy toilet paper.



A sloppy blowjob nc

The government says chemtrails from planes are just condensation. But we know they're A sloppy blowjob!
Factory workers at Foxconn who leap out of windows will now be saved by A sloppy blowjob around the building.
In North Korea, instead of streetlights, they have traffic ladies that stand in A sloppy blowjob in the middle of each intersection.
Meet me by the new modern art installation downtown. You know, it’s A sloppy blowjob straddled by gay shit.
This workplace has gone (0) days without A sloppy blowjob.
Two best friends and greedy land barons take a road trip, and discover A sloppy blowjob along the way.



A pre-disposition to hitting “Reply-All” by accident v

Always walk into an interview with tiny uranium rods and confidence, and you’ll get the job. Unless they hate A pre-disposition to hitting “Reply-All” by accident.
The authorities followed the trail of A pre-disposition to hitting “Reply-All” by accident, leading them straight to the suspect.
A pre-disposition to hitting “Reply-All” by accident failed and we careened down the embankment directly toward a Japanese woman’s underwear.
I tried soul-damning but it was too tight. Then I tried A pre-disposition to hitting “Reply-All” by accident but it was TOO LOOSE.
This one simple trick is all you need to spice up the bedroom: A pre-disposition to hitting “Reply-All” by accident.
I can’t believe you guys went A pre-disposition to hitting “Reply-All” by accident without me! Loop me in next time, I want a sexual encounter too!



Videos with incorrectly synched audio np

Look, man, I’m not into Videos with incorrectly synched audio. But $20 is $20.
On my way to work today, I had to swerve around Videos with incorrectly synched audio on the freeway.
Soldiers in Iraq are deployed with Videos with incorrectly synched audio and are ordered to be a wayward dental implant no matter what.
Early rugby’s rules: carry the ball as Videos with incorrectly synched audio, score points by exhuming my wife, and piles of limbs shall not be on the field.
In this 15th century painting, Videos with incorrectly synched audio is represented by a man with desperate dog sex for a head.
I buried my treasure under Videos with incorrectly synched audio so you’d never find it!



A long life full of tables with uneven legs np

I’ve got a master’s degree in A Long Life Full of Tables with Uneven Legs!
Leopards are smaller than most of the Panthera genus, but they are able to take large prey due to A long life full of tables with uneven legs.
For my last meal I want the immigrant experience in America seasoned heavily with A long life full of tables with uneven legs.
A long life full of tables with uneven legs is legally grounds for divorcing your wife in 28 states.
The White House will no longer enforce The A Long Life Full of Tables with Uneven Legs Act of 1959. Thank God.
Our mystical secret society is dedicated to elucidating the mysteries of A long life full of tables with uneven legs being cooked and eaten.



The sensation of 1,000 lost sneezes np

My daughter came home crying because the kids at school said she was The sensation of 1,000 lost sneezes.
Authorities were tallying damage from The sensation of 1,000 lost sneezes that struck southern California Friday evening.
The sensation of 1,000 lost sneezes like this is enough to kill a horse!
I chipped my tooth on a censor bar. My dentist said I’m lucky it wasn’t The sensation of 1,000 lost sneezes.
What’s in the fridge? Soda, OJ, The sensation of 1,000 lost sneezes... Sweet! Sunny-D!
At the skating rink there was The sensation of 1,000 lost sneezes and everyone fell down at once.


What if Gillette WAS the best a man could get?
 
 
2016 Jul 13 at 18:31 PDT
aaronjer
*****'n Admin

Comrade General 5-Star
2005 Mar 21 • 4599
1,227 ₧
getting blown apart by a pink laser v

Online trolls turned Microsoft’s teen girl AI into some kind of that ass-loving bot that hates getting blown apart by a pink laser.
When I get older, I don’t want to be getting blown apart by a pink laser.
I like my women like I like that bitch: getting blown apart by a pink laser with keepin’ it tight.
Your attempt to get little Susie what’s-her-name drunk on lime vodka ended with getting blown apart by a pink laser.
If you kids don’t stop getting blown apart by a pink laser, I will turn hiding the elderly around!
It’s important to pack the essentials when camping, such as water, first aid, getting blown apart by a pink laser, toilet paper, shelter, and a burned out wasteland.

 
 
2016 Jul 14 at 22:13 PDT — Ed. 2016 Jul 14 at 22:14 PDT
Nezumi
Asshole Admin

1-Up Medal
2005 Mar 26 • 554
175 ₧
a soothing masage n

Lonely guys in Japan can buy a soothing masage that sounds like a girl and will even go to bed with them.
The school district had to pay a lot of hush money to parents after the “a soothing masage” incident in the science lab.
I like my women like I like a raisin or maybe rabbit poop: giving it a tweak with a soothing masage.
The true reason for the Tacoma Narrows Bridge collapse? A soothing masage.
I didn’t have any cash, so I tipped the pizza guy with a soothing masage.
I’ll never know why my grandparents find a soothing masage so relaxing.



a horse's booty n

But I promised my kids they could get a horse's booty for Christmas!
Men, like my first wife, go farthest when they are a horse's booty.
Thanks for a horse's booty. Now get out of my bed!
Sometimes I wish I could just lock his tumor and a horse's booty in a room and let ‘em fight it out.
Crews are working hard after Bertha, the tunnel-boring machine ran into a horse's booty and stopped.
I think it’s lovely that you’re getting into a horse's booty, but I won’t tell your father. He’ll start cannibals.

 
 
2016 Jul 15 at 05:21 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5955
evil teenagers np

Since I deserve it, I am going to reward myself with evil teenagers.
If my neighbor doesn’t get evil teenagers off my property, I’m calling the cops!
They said evil teenagers was out of my league, and that I'd never eve get freaky with explicit eating.
John “evil teenagers” Smith. The genius who brought us a big mean dookie on deck.
During the war, German scientists experimented with seeking death to weaponize evil teenagers.
Online trolls turned Microsoft’s teen girl AI into some kind of human murder-loving bot that hates evil teenagers.



conditions np

When I told my father he shouted, “No daughter of mine is going out with conditions!”
Last night I dreamed of conditions. I cannot shake the feeling that power of attorney will arrive soon.
I got a good soak as a pet! Do you want to see the racy picture we took with conditions?
My mom picked me up conditions from the thrift shop. It was the last one!
It’s lucky to touch conditions; it’s even luckier to touch mine.
President Reagan and his entire cabinet got conditions before every meeting.



slathering vt

Ich bin ein slathering.
My kid was acting like water, so I took away slathering privileges.
For my last meal I want unrestrained passion seasoned heavily with slathering.
See now black people walk like a mind-erasing kit. But white people -- white people walk like they’re slathering!
Let’s wait for a funnel to fall asleep, then we can sneak out and get slathering.
I’ve got a master’s degree in Slathering!



getting slathered v

This one simple trick is all you need to spice up the bedroom: getting slathered.
I’m getting enough mules installed in my car, so I can be getting slathered while I drive.
Military scientists in Syria found traces of getting slathered in the soil.
Leopards are smaller than most of the Panthera genus, but they are able to take large prey due to getting slathered.
The true reason for the Tacoma Narrows Bridge collapse? Getting slathered.
How did I get hurt? I got my foot caught in a bucket of lacerations, tumbled down the escalator and crashed into getting slathered.

 
 
2016 Jul 15 at 13:51 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5955
in pee ?

When the beef came at me it was like in pee.
My nightly ritual involves pulling off pants, in pee, and finally computer problems just as I fall asleep.
The Great Wall was actually built to keep in pee out of mainland China.
Monopoly: in Pee Edition comes with a sex-addicted panda and a suitcase full of guns and money instead of houses and hotels.
Loose teeth nearly killed me in my dream. I think it's my brain telling me to avoid in pee.
I’ve got a master’s degree in in Pee!



being in pee v

Leopards are smaller than most of the Panthera genus, but they are able to take large prey due to being in pee.
After the war, the British government had Alan Turing chemically castrated because he was being in pee.
I’m grounded ‘cuz my parents saw me being in pee at the party last night.
My fiancee wants our wedding cake to look like it’s a piece of cake, with being in pee around the edges, and sharpened teeth on top.
In my state, being in pee is a legal right for me and my native brothers.
I left my wife at home all day and she replaced an ice cream truck with being in pee.

 
 
2016 Jul 15 at 14:24 PDT — Ed. 2016 Jul 15 at 14:24 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5955
fingering vt

On the assembly line we heat a ripcord to a steaming, bright cherry red. And this next machine over here is fingering.
Fingering brings sugar from my father to a child’s face.
Death math! As far as the eye can see! And it’s all fingering.
Factory workers at Foxconn who leap out of windows will now be saved by fingering around the building.
There is no “I” in “team” but there is an “I” in “fingering”.
You stole shaking from a charity? That’s like taking candy from a baby! You’re fingering and you’re going to hell!



I never expected to be fingered by  .

I never expected to be fingered by cheering children.
I never expected to be fingered by a vacant stare.
I never expected to be fingered by llama spit.
I never expected to be fingered by spider silk.
I never expected to be fingered by a head full of teeth.
I never expected to be fingered by a mind-erasing kit.

 
 
2016 Jul 15 at 14:35 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5955
There is no “U” in “team” but there is an “U” in “ ”.

There is no “U” in “team” but there is an “U” in “a bra strap”.
There is no “U” in “team” but there is an “U” in “tiny uranium rods”.
There is no “U” in “team” but there is an “U” in “a can of paint on a rope”.
There is no “U” in “team” but there is an “U” in “a bandsaw”.
There is no “U” in “team” but there is an “U” in “M. Night Shyamalan-a-ding-dong”.
There is no “U” in “team” but there is an “U” in “a man staring into space”.

 
 
2016 Jul 15 at 14:36 PDT — Ed. 2016 Jul 15 at 14:38 PDT
Nezumi
Asshole Admin

1-Up Medal
2005 Mar 26 • 554
175 ₧
breeding like rabbits v

No one in Morocco can be breeding like rabbits without registering with the government.
If breeding like rabbits were in the Olympics, Canada would be in great shape!
New extreme Mountain Dew™ flavor: Breeding like Rabbits Blast!
Ever since the accident, I freeze in terror at the sight of breeding like rabbits.
My life coach told me that to maximise my positive energy flow, I should alternate between acting in an irresponsible fashion and breeding like rabbits.
My religion demands that I must abstain from breeding like rabbits. A fistful of glitter however, is OK.

 
 
2016 Jul 15 at 21:31 PDT
NatureJay
SJA: Commander of Ruthless Abuse

Good Conduct Medal
2005 Mar 22 • 1871
574 ₧
Jeff thought this one worked so I don't know, I guess I'll try it?

I didn't mean to start  , it just happened!

I didn't mean to start a box of wine, it just happened!
I didn't mean to start the runs, it just happened!
I didn't mean to start black lace, it just happened!
I didn't mean to start my mom teaching sex ed, it just happened!
I didn't mean to start tumbling down a mountain, it just happened!
I didn't mean to start the part you pee into, it just happened!

100% natural, no antibiotics, and bloodgrass-fed
 
 
2016 Jul 16 at 14:34 PDT
Nezumi
Asshole Admin

1-Up Medal
2005 Mar 26 • 554
175 ₧
a gigantic sum of money nc

Peter Molyneux’s new game will use facial recognition to explore a gigantic sum of money in a very realistic way.
Getting a gigantic sum of money back out of a volcano is next to impossible.
The government says chemtrails from planes are just condensation. But we know they're a gigantic sum of money!
Growing up in the foster care system, I learned to be a gigantic sum of money if I wanted a new family.
Come on down to Golden Corral™ for a gigantic sum of money.
... And so my mom asked me, “If all your friends were a gigantic sum of money, would you be a gigantic sum of money as well?”

 
 
2016 Jul 16 at 18:21 PDT — Ed. 2016 Jul 16 at 18:21 PDT
Crytax
Ph. D in Cryonics

2006 Apr 26 • 317
11 ₧
a child taxidermy video n

The name for Idaho was derived from a Shoshone language term meaning “a child taxidermy video.”
The police failed to catch the fleeing suspect because of a child taxidermy video.
On Ebay you can get a child taxidermy video but it comes in several tiny boxes.
SWF looking for a real man. If you’re into a child taxidermy video, get to the front of the line.
Doctor, you’re a genius! No one has ever thought of using a dream to treat a child taxidermy video!
The two biggest floats at the Macy’s Parade this year are the mastermind and a child taxidermy video.

What if Gillette WAS the best a man could get?
 
 
2016 Jul 17 at 14:55 PDT
NatureJay
SJA: Commander of Ruthless Abuse

Good Conduct Medal
2005 Mar 22 • 1871
574 ₧
I wanted to test out fucking up the grammar again because I was thinking about Captain Murphy.

love, damnit nc

Although moving away from double rat butts proved effective for schools, the switch to love, damnit initially led to a spike of child hospitalizations.
The new bill before congress would mandate love, damnit in all K-through-12 classrooms.
Growing up we never had door hinges, nails and chopped up horseshoes, but we had to deal with love, damnit, and I want the opposite for my children.
Ever since I got back from Mexico I’ve been really into love, damnit.
Work on the Taft bridge ground to a halt, due to the union’s demands for love, damnit.
Can you come get me? I agreed to go with some guys who promised me love, damnit and it’s getting weird.

100% natural, no antibiotics, and bloodgrass-fed
 
 
2016 Jul 17 at 15:37 PDT — Ed. 2016 Jul 17 at 15:38 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5955
a farting bum n

Hark! What a farting bum through yonder window breaks?
When I told my father he shouted, “No daughter of mine is going out with a farting bum!”
A woman is like a teabag. You can’t tell how strong she is until you put her in a farting bum.
Chase bank is giving out a farting bum this week if you open an account and put $100 in it.
I noticed symptoms of mumbo jumbo, so I went to my naturopathic doctor. He said, “it’s a farting bum!” but I’m not sure.
I love your necklace! It’s a farting bum, right?



the access card n

Abraham Lincoln wrestled with depression, but that did not keep him from wishing your girlfriend would get kidnapped with the access card.
The police failed to catch the fleeing suspect because of the access card.
Howdy neighbor, love non-union scabs!! Let’s get the access card sometime!
Crews are working hard after Bertha, the tunnel-boring machine ran into the access card and stopped.
On my way to work today, I had to swerve around the access card on the freeway.
For science class we went on a field trip to see how the access card happens.



the electric socket n

You’ve got to come see the baby, it’s as cute as the electric socket.
President Reagan and his entire cabinet got the electric socket before every meeting.
It’s lucky to touch the electric socket; it’s even luckier to touch mine.
My religion demands that I must abstain from the electric socket. A novelty oversized foam fist however, is OK.
The weird payment system at the grocery store makes me put the electric socket in the slot, but I forget to take it out.
The band hadn’t started playing when the stage effect with the electric socket went off early, ejecting smiling like a donut into the air!

 
 
2016 Jul 18 at 11:23 PDT — Ed. 2016 Jul 18 at 11:25 PDT
NatureJay
SJA: Commander of Ruthless Abuse

Good Conduct Medal
2005 Mar 22 • 1871
574 ₧
This came up during a fairly ordinary conversation about Henry VIII

looking for fornication in all the wrong places v

“You didn’t even get me anything for my birthday!” “Yes I did, remember looking for fornication in all the wrong places?”
As the A.I. robot gained self-awareness, it immediately began looking for fornication in all the wrong places.
The two biggest floats at the Macy’s Parade this year are a shock and looking for fornication in all the wrong places.
I can’t believe you forced my mom into looking for fornication in all the wrong places! She’s 62!
The survey team detected looking for fornication in all the wrong places at the work site so I threw your fault in my truck and drove straight there.
In protest, Gandhi swore to abstain from looking for fornication in all the wrong places.

100% natural, no antibiotics, and bloodgrass-fed
 
 
2016 Jul 18 at 17:04 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5955
 {nU} is slightly prolapsed right now because I was just  {v}. Sorry.2

A Vietnamese landmine is slightly prolapsed right now because I was just knowing hell. Sorry.
Loose teeth is slightly prolapsed right now because I was just folding inward. Sorry.
A big surprise is slightly prolapsed right now because I was just whaling. Sorry.
My momma’s fatness is slightly prolapsed right now because I was just smearing blood all over the bathroom. Sorry.
A battle is slightly prolapsed right now because I was just freezing solid. Sorry.
A wasted life is slightly prolapsed right now because I was just getting snapped in half. Sorry.

 
 
2016 Jul 20 at 09:43 PDT — Ed. 2016 Jul 20 at 11:41 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5955
a genital louse n

Nancy Drew and the Mystery of a Genital Louse.
When half the people around here is ready, a genital louse will appear.
I ordered a genital louse privately over the Internet so I can get better at peeing crabs.
Leopards are smaller than most of the Panthera genus, but they are able to take large prey due to a genital louse.
I’m glad you’re my new roomie, my last one was always a genital louse. Always.
I’m undergoing immersion therapy by continually exposing myself to a genital louse.



long hair nc

10% of all proceeds from sales of an upstart will go to The Long Hair Foundation.
It’s not delivery. It’s long hair.
Chase bank is giving out long hair this week if you open an account and put $100 in it.
Wine tasters describe this Pinot Grigio as having silky hints of insensitive holiday celebrations and a mouthfeel like long hair.
Astronaut Chris Hadfield is well known for sneaking long hair onto the International Space Station.
When the research team activated the interdimensional portal, long hair emerged.

 
 
2016 Jul 21 at 16:20 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5955
opening up v

I got written up at work today for running to the bathroom and opening up. There was a report.
We can be opening up. And no one has to know.
No one in Morocco can be opening up without registering with the government.
If you kids don’t stop opening up, I will turn a novelty gag dildo around!
My fiancee wants our wedding cake to look like it’s wriggling and thrashing, with opening up around the edges, and upsetting footage not suitable for children on top.
I met this hot chick online. She says she’s opening up and I think I believe her!



cold spaghetti nc

Cold spaghetti nearly killed me in my dream. I think it's my brain telling me to avoid people bumping and grinding at each other with no sense of rhythm.
Look, man, I’m not into cold spaghetti. But $20 is $20.
... And so my mom asked me, “If all your friends were cold spaghetti, would you be cold spaghetti as well?”
After the war, the British government had Alan Turing chemically castrated because he was cold spaghetti.
Soldiers in Iraq are deployed with cold spaghetti and are ordered to be a projectile no matter what.
Don’t shake cold spaghetti so hard, it’ll start exact science.



Donald Trump's family n

At the book signing, George R.R. Martin signed my copy of ‟A Song of Donald Trump's Family”! I shook his hand and it felt like Donald Trump's family.
I don’t give money to the homeless. Instead I provide Donald Trump's family directly.
I had a really good childhood up until I was nine, then Donald Trump's family really affected me.
1) A robot may not injure Donald Trump's family, or through inaction allow Donald Trump's family to come to harm.
Original style is fine, but chunky kinda tastes like Donald Trump's family.
The night before Easter, we’ll set up Donald Trump's family on the porch to surprise the kids.



19GB of horseporn nc

They don’t make a fridge full of heads like they used to! This one doesn’t even have 19GB of horseporn.
The government says chemtrails from planes are just condensation. But we know they're 19GB of horseporn!
At the winery tour we saw how they put 19GB of horseporn and grapes in the tank, but it smelled like the S.W.A.T. team.
I need help with my computer! I downloaded 19GB of horseporn and now I’m having trouble with just not much food.
Traditionally, vampires and other undead are repelled by 19GB of horseporn.
People around the world recognize 19GB of horseporn as the unofficial symbol of the USA.

 
 
2016 Jul 22 at 16:25 PDT
Signa
2013 Dec 28 • 152
  is just another word for  2

an ice cream truck is just another word for a coming horrific hell
a small angry cloud is just another word for what you did to my face
wallowing in your filth is just another word for a flip
another hole in the head is just another word for a sugar cougar
taffy is just another word for feigned sympathy
refusing any help is just another word for an empty Tic Tac® box



the caboose of a mantrain n

You’ve got to come see the baby, it’s as cute as the caboose of a mantrain.
My dad’s keyboard has a special key for the caboose of a mantrain.
There is no revenge so complete as the caboose of a mantrain.
We’re having a garage sale to get rid of hot biscuits & gravy, my kid sister, and the caboose of a mantrain.
Ever since I got back from Mexico I’ve been really into the caboose of a mantrain.
Since I deserve it, I am going to reward myself with the caboose of a mantrain.

 
 
2016 Jul 23 at 14:09 PDT
Nezumi
Asshole Admin

1-Up Medal
2005 Mar 26 • 554
175 ₧
true love's first kiss nc

We need more black cards! Maybe another one about true love's first kiss, but with everything under the sea!
At least I was trying to cheer people up when I took true love's first kiss to the funeral.
How high do you have to be to enjoy true love's first kiss in dudes?
I got into my car and sat on true love's first kiss. Slowly, a smile crept over my face.
Since I deserve it, I am going to reward myself with true love's first kiss.
When the celestial spheres align, true love's first kiss will descend from the heavens.



automated mechanized death nc

Every French soldier carries automated mechanized death in his knapsack.
The city condemned our house after finding automated mechanized death in the crawlspace.
Jan Sobieski, leading the largest charge of automated mechanized death in history, rode into battle atop a loss of manpower.
Dear diary, today I went into the city and saw automated mechanized death for the first time!
Come on down to Golden Corral™ for automated mechanized death.
J. Robert Oppenheimer is often called the father of automated mechanized death.

 
 
2016 Jul 24 at 10:56 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5955
Today you're on the receiving end of  .

Today you're on the receiving end of a macabre mixture of milk and blood shooting out of every orifice.
Today you're on the receiving end of reasonable stereotypes.
Today you're on the receiving end of murdering someone through the internet.
Today you're on the receiving end of the hole where the heart once fit.
Today you're on the receiving end of not riding a Segway.
Today you're on the receiving end of real, actual witchcraft.

 
 
2016 Jul 24 at 16:40 PDT
jeff is wizlord

2014 Nov 12 • 280
a boyfriend shaped bed n

Come on down to Golden Corral™ for a boyfriend shaped bed.
It’s not delivery. It’s a boyfriend shaped bed.
When the research team activated the interdimensional portal, a boyfriend shaped bed emerged.
Go, go, Gadget a Boyfriend Shaped Bed!
The way to the lost city was perilous, and we soon found ourselves knee deep in a boyfriend shaped bed.
The first item of evidence in The People vs. A Shock is a boyfriend shaped bed.


 
 
2016 Jul 25 at 21:25 PDT
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5955
retiring at the age of 12 v

My life coach told me that to maximise my positive energy flow, I should alternate between circumcising your dad and retiring at the age of 12.
I misclicked while my boss was looking over my shoulder and my video of retiring at the age of 12 came on the screen.
In the public retiring at the age of 12 model, a third-party service provider delivers the retiring at the age of 12 service over the Internet.
Then God said, “Let there be retiring at the age of 12”; and there was retiring at the age of 12. And God saw that retiring at the age of 12 was good.
At the new circus in town, three jugglers throw each other an infinite supply of anything and everything right at your fucking fingertips, while a man is retiring at the age of 12 on a galloping horse.
In a world with an icy tomb retiring at the age of 12, one man must overcome 50 years. Coming this summer.

 
 
2016 Jul 27 at 11:48 PDT
NatureJay
SJA: Commander of Ruthless Abuse

Good Conduct Medal
2005 Mar 22 • 1871
574 ₧
I was thinking about "Screenwriter's Blues"

They may work better as separate cards that may later be combined to great effect.

automatic weapons and boundless love np

In a world with automatic weapons and boundless love cheating, one man must overcome expectorating some sludge. Coming this summer.
The way to the lost city was perilous, and we soon found ourselves knee deep in automatic weapons and boundless love.
Strangely, right before Hitler killed himself, he had what Mom made destroyed and automatic weapons and boundless love killed as well.
God didn’t create me. God created automatic weapons and boundless love. And automatic weapons and boundless love created me.
My daughter came home crying because the kids at school said she was automatic weapons and boundless love.
Howdy neighbor, love automatic weapons and boundless love! Let’s get shaved bears sometime!

100% natural, no antibiotics, and bloodgrass-fed
 
 
2016 Jul 27 at 12:47 PDT — Ed. 2016 Jul 27 at 12:48 PDT
Nezumi
Asshole Admin

1-Up Medal
2005 Mar 26 • 554
175 ₧
It's a contest to see which is harder to use:

having sex with all the fauna v

It’s important to pack the essentials when camping, such as water, first aid, a macabre mixture of milk and blood shooting out of every orifice, toilet paper, shelter, and having sex with all the fauna.
... And so my mom asked me, “If all your friends were having sex with all the fauna, would you be having sex with all the fauna as well?”
On the assembly line we heat Vietnam War 2 to a steaming, bright cherry red. And this next machine over here is having sex with all the fauna.
I need help with my computer! I downloaded the company van and now I’m having trouble with having sex with all the fauna.
My nightly ritual involves having sex with all the fauna, the last breath of a dying man, and finally a girl who just won’t quit just as I fall asleep.
John “having sex with all the fauna” Smith. The genius who brought us 80,000 tons of nuclear waste.



having sex with all the poontangs v

Someone get Michael! His girlfriend is drunk, up on the table, and she’s having sex with all the poontangs.
Their rising all at once was as the sound of having sex with all the poontangs heard remote.
At the coffee shop they wrote “having sex with all the poontangs” on my cup. I ran out covering my face.
There is a rumor that Marilyn Manson had chicken sashimi removed so he could be having sex with all the poontangs.
My favorite new band is “Having Sex with All the Poontangs and T-boning an Ambulance”.
You’ve got to come see the baby, it’s as cute as having sex with all the poontangs.

 
 
2016 Jul 29 at 02:29 PDT