SuperJer Against Humanity Suggestions PART 2

SuperJer Against Humanity Suggestions PART 2

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SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5902
Instructions unclear: got  {n} stuck in  {n}.2

Instructions unclear: got not a bear stuck in elastic action.
Instructions unclear: got sustained surface winds stuck in the rope my pappy hanged his self with.
Instructions unclear: got legs stuck in iodine.
Instructions unclear: got dudes stuck in mercury poisoning.
Instructions unclear: got a busy bee stuck in tangled memories.
Instructions unclear: got a dog head stuck in an empty Tic Tac® box.

 
 
2017 Jan 1 at 15:11 PST — Ed. 2017 Jan 1 at 15:21 PST
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5902
being covered in bees v

People are freaking out because the new Happy Meal PEZ® dispenser is being covered in bees.
Thanks for being covered in bees. Now get out of my bed!
Military scientists in Syria found traces of being covered in bees in the soil.
My daughter came home crying because the kids at school said she was being covered in bees.
It’s important to pack the essentials when camping, such as water, first aid, being covered in bees, toilet paper, shelter, and a gaunt face.
In public restrooms, I’m always afraid someone will walk in, all being covered in bees, right while I’m acting like a child.

 
 
2017 Jan 1 at 15:12 PST — Ed. 2017 Jan 1 at 15:20 PST
aaronjer
*****'n Admin

Comrade General 5-Star
2005 Mar 21 • 4599
1,227 ₧
unsolicited pics np

Pundits agree it will take unsolicited pics for the senator to win the election.
The new Harley-Davidson hog’s got creatures painted on both sides, which some say encourages unsolicited pics.
I’ve got a master’s degree in Unsolicited Pics!
Lonely guys in Japan can buy unsolicited pics that sounds like a girl and will even go to bed with them.
Unsolicited pics isn’t getting old, but I sure am!
An FBI raid on Michael Eisner’s seaside villa turned up unsolicited pics in every room.



sending unsolicited pics to anyone and everyone v

On the assembly line we heat a feather to a steaming, bright cherry red. And this next machine over here is sending unsolicited pics to anyone and everyone.
Life is so strange. I went to college to learn sending unsolicited pics to anyone and everyone, but now for work I’m lower standards. Go figure!
I’m sending unsolicited pics to anyone and everyone for Jesus.
That’s not funny. My dad was killed by sending unsolicited pics to anyone and everyone.
In my state, sending unsolicited pics to anyone and everyone is a legal right for me and my native brothers.
Hark! What sending unsolicited pics to anyone and everyone through yonder window breaks?

 
 
2017 Jan 2 at 13:00 PST
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5902
adding a little flesh to it v

The new bill before congress would mandate adding a little flesh to it in all K-through-12 classrooms.
In Kentucky stores can’t sell butt sounds after 8pm, or on holidays like Adding a Little Flesh to It Day.
Life without love is like adding a little flesh to it without a tribal village or fruit.
I got a new app on my phone. It’s called “Adding a Little Flesh to It” and it helps me with twerking over his grave.
For my last meal I want the hole where the heart once fit seasoned heavily with adding a little flesh to it.
Adding a little flesh to it like this is enough to kill a horse!



a gay vagina n

And my mother said, “How come you’re not a gay vagina like your brother?”
Bumper sticker: My other ride is a gay vagina.
I’ll never know why my grandparents find a gay vagina so relaxing.
Work on the Taft bridge ground to a halt, due to the union’s demands for a gay vagina.
Great job on the proposal for firing off the squibs too early, Dave! You're in line for a raise, and the boss might even give you a gay vagina.
Original style is fine, but chunky kinda tastes like a gay vagina.



Somebody screenshotted my Snapchat and now everyone thinks I'm  .

Somebody screenshotted my Snapchat and now everyone thinks I'm a head full of teeth.
Somebody screenshotted my Snapchat and now everyone thinks I'm hip-hop specifically made for white people.
Somebody screenshotted my Snapchat and now everyone thinks I'm a submissive sex android.
Somebody screenshotted my Snapchat and now everyone thinks I'm a falling chimney.
Somebody screenshotted my Snapchat and now everyone thinks I'm skeleton hands.
Somebody screenshotted my Snapchat and now everyone thinks I'm slaughter.

 
 
2017 Jan 2 at 20:56 PST — Ed. 2017 Jan 3 at 18:01 PST
jeff is wizlord

2014 Nov 12 • 278
weird, wobbly, witch sex nc

Amtrak officials confirm weird, wobbly, witch sex would have prevented train derailment.
Weird, wobbly, witch sex saved is weird, wobbly, witch sex earned.
I think that ecstasy was cut with weird, wobbly, witch sex. After one hit I began very, very rapidly whaling.
This one simple trick is all you need to spice up the bedroom: weird, wobbly, witch sex.
I’ve got a master’s degree in Weird, Wobbly, Witch Sex!
No one in Morocco can be weird, wobbly, witch sex without registering with the government.

 
 
2017 Jan 3 at 12:26 PST
jeff is wizlord

2014 Nov 12 • 278
professional hatred nc

During the war, German scientists experimented with a warhead to weaponize professional hatred.
If you do it right, professional hatred is all about the last man in the room.
My girlfriend was getting something out of the closet. Lucky she didn’t look up, or she’d have seen professional hatred.
I thought I was being attacked, so I defended myself with professional hatred.
But I promised I would get my kids professional hatred for Christmas!
Furious that I was seizing the means of production into his spellbook, the sorcerer turned me into professional hatred.

 
 
2017 Jan 4 at 12:26 PST
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5902
Why doesn't my new phone have a setting for  ?

Why doesn't my new phone have a setting for tipping over?
Why doesn't my new phone have a setting for being suspended in gelatin?
Why doesn't my new phone have a setting for thunderous applause?
Why doesn't my new phone have a setting for an old hornet?
Why doesn't my new phone have a setting for multiple charges?
Why doesn't my new phone have a setting for a human?



someone else's poo nc

I misclicked while my boss was looking over my shoulder and my video of someone else's poo came on the screen.
Ever since I got back from Mexico I’ve been really into someone else's poo.
I dug around for hours in the trash but never found someone else's poo.
Dad! I’m all done freezing solid, so I have someone else's poo left over if you’re still interested.
What’s in the fridge? Soda, OJ, someone else's poo... Sweet! Sunny-D!
I love your necklace! It’s someone else's poo, right?



Apparently it only took Elon Musk 3 days to learn  .

Apparently it only took Elon Musk 3 days to learn a long visit.
Apparently it only took Elon Musk 3 days to learn this very house.
Apparently it only took Elon Musk 3 days to learn lubing up.
Apparently it only took Elon Musk 3 days to learn voluminous hair.
Apparently it only took Elon Musk 3 days to learn a caring, understanding man.
Apparently it only took Elon Musk 3 days to learn an ice cream truck.



Elon Musk's human face n

I can’t shake the feeling there’s always Elon Musk's human face just around the corner.
Her inheritance was squandered upon Elon Musk's human face while Cinderella was abused and forced to become a Glasgow smile in her own home.
Facebook just bought Silicon Valley tech startup Nine Guys You Fucked Co., tapping into the growing market for Elon Musk's human face.
It’s important to pack the essentials when camping, such as water, first aid, the amount of land in southern Scotland, toilet paper, shelter, and Elon Musk's human face.
The new summer blockbuster targeted at tweens features a girl with prey and a mysterious boy who fights Elon Musk's human face.
When I saw Elon Musk's human face I was scared, but when it started coming toward me, radicalizing the natives, I went white as a sheet!

 
 
2017 Jan 4 at 15:39 PST — Ed. 2017 Jan 4 at 15:40 PST
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5902
Apparently it only took 3 days for Elon Musk to teach a robot to drive  .

Apparently it only took 3 days for Elon Musk to teach a robot to drive large recoil.
Apparently it only took 3 days for Elon Musk to teach a robot to drive hooking yourself up to a machine you know nothing about.
Apparently it only took 3 days for Elon Musk to teach a robot to drive a big slow boat.
Apparently it only took 3 days for Elon Musk to teach a robot to drive a better place now.
Apparently it only took 3 days for Elon Musk to teach a robot to drive a dictionary for swears.
Apparently it only took 3 days for Elon Musk to teach a robot to drive the savory gels of her lust.



the cat's litter box n

Ever since the cat's litter box appeared in the neighborhood, vole milk has been eyed with suspicion.
On my wedding night my father told me, “Don’t go chasing the cat's litter box.”
Ever since the accident, I freeze in terror at the sight of the cat's litter box.
Traffic has only gotten worse since the transportation department deployed the cat's litter box up and down the highway.
I need a hotel room with conjuring, and I need the cat's litter box brought to me every four hours.
I buried my treasure under the cat's litter box so you’d never find it!

 
 
2017 Jan 4 at 15:43 PST
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5902
a ferret and a bowl of snow n

Kirkland mom makes $20,000 a week with a ferret and a bowl of snow.
I pushed hard enough to snap a ferret and a bowl of snow, but some powerful kind of reduced brain intelligence was blocking the door.
I think it’s lovely that you’re getting into a ferret and a bowl of snow, but I won’t tell your father. He’ll start the final hour.
The refugees must be relocated because the shelter is right on top of a ferret and a bowl of snow.
A ferret and a bowl of snow: It’s nature’s candy!
Shepherds in Scotland have used a ferret and a bowl of snow for years to keep the flock from a savvy entrepreneur.



I've finally got the last of  {n} out of  .2

I've finally got the last of multiethnic genitalia out of long pork.
I've finally got the last of the master race out of bedding.
I've finally got the last of an elevator out of “forgetting” to knock.
I've finally got the last of a festively decorated corpse out of animal friends.
I've finally got the last of a thick layer of frosting out of a non-steroidal anti-inflammatory drug.
I've finally got the last of wriggly little worms out of getting infected.

 
 
2017 Jan 4 at 16:57 PST — Ed. 2017 Jan 4 at 16:58 PST
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5902
my SpongeBob PJ's np

Here on the assembly line we heat my SpongeBob PJ's to a steaming, bright cherry red, and this next machine over here is teaching pseudoscience.
It’s not delivery. It’s my SpongeBob PJ's.
Factory workers at Foxconn who leap out of windows will now be saved by my SpongeBob PJ's around the building.
At the mall Santa kiosk, the elves were caught sneaking my SpongeBob PJ's into women’s purses and bags.
More than 260 people were injured by festive firecracker blasts and my SpongeBob PJ's in the Philippines.
Our artisanal process ages my SpongeBob PJ's for 3 years, before going right into people bumping and grinding at each other with no sense of rhythm, rapidly forgetting about the whole universe.



letting it rip v

I misclicked while my boss was looking over my shoulder and my video of letting it rip came on the screen.
Alien cover-ups, false flag operations, and military experiments with letting it rip! It’s all here in my manifesto!
At the urgent care clinic they distracted me with letting it rip. I barely even felt two bats in a giant pair of pajamas.
You evaded my “Letting It Rip” attack! Most impressive.
See now black people walk like a very old jellybean. But white people -- white people walk like they’re letting it rip!
We finally hired a guy at work to take care of letting it rip.



During the half-time show, a rip in  {n} exposed  {n} to the audience.2

During the half-time show, a rip in no clean towels exposed a shock to the audience.
During the half-time show, a rip in a man staring into space exposed a girl gone sour to the audience.
During the half-time show, a rip in cuts on the wall exposed a swarm of dead insects to the audience.
During the half-time show, a rip in a better place now exposed the juiciest cunt I ever seen in my life to the audience.
During the half-time show, a rip in sea urchins exposed hot slugs to the audience.
During the half-time show, a rip in a bunch of hillbillies buggering each other exposed prey to the audience.


 
 
2017 Jan 4 at 18:35 PST
Signa
2013 Dec 28 • 140
mastrubating into the faces of your enemies v

I need help with my computer! I downloaded two firetrucks and now I’m having trouble with mastrubating into the faces of your enemies.
Early rugby’s rules: carry the ball as a gasoline enema, score points by mastrubating into the faces of your enemies, and skin-tight leather pants shall not be on the field.
We can be mastrubating into the faces of your enemies. And no one has to know.
John “mastrubating into the faces of your enemies” Smith. The genius who brought us a line.
In my state, mastrubating into the faces of your enemies is a legal right for me and my native brothers.
Don’t email me at work! Email me at my personal address: ointment@mastrubating-into-the-faces-of-your-enemies.net

 
 
2017 Jan 4 at 20:01 PST
aaronjer
*****'n Admin

Comrade General 5-Star
2005 Mar 21 • 4599
1,227 ₧
casually promoting incest v

I got so drunk last night that I got casually promoting incest all over everyone and everything.
Ich bin ein casually promoting incest.
The rich aroma of casually promoting incest, from the hills of Colombia.
At the new circus in town, three jugglers throw each other a special little fuck, while a man is casually promoting incest on a galloping horse.
Trapped again, MacGyver began his escape with only disturbing trends and casually promoting incest.
The thief was caught stealing mediocre tits from the sultan, and so was thrown into the pit of casually promoting incest.



casual incest nc

1) A robot may not injure casual incest, or through inaction allow casual incest to come to harm.
I’ve got a master’s degree in Casual Incest!
At the auto parts store, the salesman tried to upsell me on a Christmas tree when I bought casual incest.
Apparently, “Casual Incest” is a dance move in the Hip-Hop and B-Boy community.
Welcome to Denny’s®! I am casual incest. Would you like to try our new special, a cat in a paper bag?
In New York, a new law went into effect at midnight making it legal to buy casual incest one ounce at a time.



Baskin Robbins is going off the deep end with their new flavors, saw   flavor and then   flavor. I'll have cookies from now on.2

Baskin Robbins is going off the deep end with their new flavors, saw anal cleansing tablets flavor and then spinning like a bitch flavor. I'll have cookies from now on.
Baskin Robbins is going off the deep end with their new flavors, saw an automated turret flavor and then floating away in a fucking balloon flavor. I'll have cookies from now on.
Baskin Robbins is going off the deep end with their new flavors, saw a positive test for bodily fluids flavor and then a gush flavor. I'll have cookies from now on.
Baskin Robbins is going off the deep end with their new flavors, saw the T-Rex flavor and then joining the Army in a panic flavor. I'll have cookies from now on.
Baskin Robbins is going off the deep end with their new flavors, saw a Russian bride flavor and then Ruth Bader Ginsburg’s frilly neckerchief flavor. I'll have cookies from now on.
Baskin Robbins is going off the deep end with their new flavors, saw a wet burst flavor and then a fish choad flavor. I'll have cookies from now on.

 
 
2017 Jan 4 at 22:11 PST
Nezumi
Asshole Admin

1-Up Medal
2005 Mar 26 • 553
175 ₧
a rich, luxuriant beard n

Here’s a certificate for a rich, luxuriant beard. I am at your service.
New extreme Mountain Dew™ flavor: A Rich, Luxuriant Beard Blast!
Give a man a rich, luxuriant beard and you feed him for a day. Give him black leggings, and you feed him for a lifetime.
The true reason for the Tacoma Narrows Bridge collapse? A rich, luxuriant beard.
Leopards are smaller than most of the Panthera genus, but they are able to take large prey due to a rich, luxuriant beard.
You can’t get 60 seconds big enough or a rich, luxuriant beard long enough to suit me.



a junior detective n

My brother and I have finally decided to start a business doing a junior detective, since we’re so good at it.
My favorite new band is “A Gaggle of Nuns and a Junior Detective”.
The TSA has made new rules mandating a junior detective on every commercial flight.
A 2008 study of Movile’s only snail found that it has been counting the dead sons. The snail may have escaped a junior detective by going underground.
I had a really good childhood up until I was nine, then a junior detective really affected me.
See now black people walk like a segmented penis. But white people -- white people walk like they’re a junior detective!

 
 
2017 Jan 5 at 05:38 PST
jeff is wizlord

2014 Nov 12 • 278
a backdoor woman n

I’m getting a backdoor woman installed in my car, so I can be a “magic wand” while I drive.
At the auto parts store, the salesman tried to upsell me on a backdoor woman when I bought Schadenfreude.
Aww! My mom packed a terrible lunch: Some kids and a backdoor woman.
When the research team activated the interdimensional portal, a backdoor woman emerged.
The new Harley-Davidson hog’s got good, Christian values painted on both sides, which some say encourages a backdoor woman.
Leopards are smaller than most of the Panthera genus, but they are able to take large prey due to a backdoor woman.

 
 
2017 Jan 5 at 18:01 PST
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5902
We put  {n} in your tea!

We put phantom limb syndrome in your tea!
We put a little piece of shit in your tea!
We put a delicate balance in your tea!
We put military-themed porn in your tea!
We put back surgery in your tea!
We put a butt poop fart in your tea!



The hottest new IoT products are putting technology in  {n}!

The hottest new IoT products are putting technology in a felony!
The hottest new IoT products are putting technology in insurance!
The hottest new IoT products are putting technology in a roll of toilet paper!
The hottest new IoT products are putting technology in a useful tip!
The hottest new IoT products are putting technology in a mental illness!
The hottest new IoT products are putting technology in a double-meat pizza!



These new SmartSocks can detect   and prevent amputations.

These new SmartSocks can detect a flip and prevent amputations.
These new SmartSocks can detect horny catgirls and prevent amputations.
These new SmartSocks can detect a pubic tuft and prevent amputations.
These new SmartSocks can detect antibiotics and prevent amputations.
These new SmartSocks can detect slappy little T-Rex arms and prevent amputations.
These new SmartSocks can detect the stillness of death and prevent amputations.

 
 
2017 Jan 6 at 15:34 PST — Ed. 2017 Jan 6 at 16:07 PST
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5902
when kitty takes a big dump nc

Every French soldier carries when kitty takes a big dump in his knapsack.
President Reagan and his entire cabinet got when kitty takes a big dump before every meeting.
Every morning I hop out of bed and get straight to when kitty takes a big dump, even before I put on my clothes.
The White House will no longer enforce The When Kitty Takes a Big Dump Act of 1959. Thank God.
The night before Easter, we’ll set up when kitty takes a big dump on the porch to surprise the kids.
Go, go, Gadget When Kitty Takes a Big Dump!



kitty taking a big dump n

Come on down to Golden Corral™ for kitty taking a big dump.
The rich aroma of kitty taking a big dump, from the hills of Colombia.
The area around Fukushima has become a ghost town with kitty taking a big dump slowly overtaking the buildings.
My new phone looks like it’s kitty taking a big dump but I don’t mind. It makes calls.
I booby-trapped my yard so that trespassers will be surprised by kitty taking a big dump.
The true reason for the Tacoma Narrows Bridge collapse? Kitty taking a big dump.

 
 
2017 Jan 6 at 17:20 PST
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5902
you and me np

Class, turn to page 100 and start reading “You and Me and You”.
I went to cut the cake, and to my delight, you and me popped out!
Holy dogshit, Texas! Only you and me and this asshole come from Texas, Private Cowboy!
You and me! You and me! My kingdom for you and me!
When the research team activated the interdimensional portal, you and me emerged.
I reached expectantly into big pants, but found only you and me.

 
 
2017 Jan 6 at 17:56 PST — Ed. 2017 Jan 6 at 17:57 PST
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5902
OK THAT went well.
 
 
2017 Jan 6 at 17:57 PST
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5902
It's time to scrape the remains of   off the driveway.

It's time to scrape the remains of being asleep, not dead off the driveway.
It's time to scrape the remains of omens off the driveway.
It's time to scrape the remains of butter sauce off the driveway.
It's time to scrape the remains of lying perfectly still off the driveway.
It's time to scrape the remains of my bruised thighs off the driveway.
It's time to scrape the remains of whaling off the driveway.

 
 
2017 Jan 6 at 17:58 PST
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5902
My PC stopped working so I opened it up and found  {n} inside. I should take it to  {n}!2

My PC stopped working so I opened it up and found solvent inside. I should take it to original white, straight Barbie!
My PC stopped working so I opened it up and found a big, red X inside. I should take it to truck stop sex!
My PC stopped working so I opened it up and found quick-set cement inside. I should take it to literally every single thing!
My PC stopped working so I opened it up and found distended tubes inside. I should take it to The White House!
My PC stopped working so I opened it up and found one thousand scorpions inside. I should take it to cooter muscles!
My PC stopped working so I opened it up and found the king and his family inside. I should take it to Yorkshire pudding!

 
 
2017 Jan 6 at 17:59 PST — Ed. 2017 Jan 6 at 18:00 PST
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5902
My dad never took me  {v}.

My dad never took me squandering.
My dad never took me serving humanity.
My dad never took me completely avoiding conflict.
My dad never took me being too busy.
My dad never took me rolling.
My dad never took me snuggling with Ian McKellen.

 
 
2017 Jan 6 at 18:00 PST
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5902
a laser that'll evaporate your head instantly n

These wounds were given to me by the beast of legend. Part of it was a laser that'll evaporate your head instantly, part was hoping nothing kills you, and it was crowned with a predator.
Doctor, you’re a genius! No one has ever thought of using a laser that'll evaporate your head instantly to treat a delicate balance!
Whenever I cook a laser that'll evaporate your head instantly I drop a little on the floor. It’s building up into recalled pizza with glass in it.
On Ebay you can get a laser that'll evaporate your head instantly but it comes in several tiny boxes.
Authorities were tallying damage from a laser that'll evaporate your head instantly that struck southern California Friday evening.
Can I get some floss? There’s a laser that'll evaporate your head instantly between my teeth.

 
 
2017 Jan 6 at 18:48 PST
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5902
the absurdity of what we've done n

Amtrak officials confirm the absurdity of what we've done would have prevented train derailment.
You evaded my “The Absurdity of What We've Done” attack! Most impressive.
We couldn’t land because of the absurdity of what we've done caught in the landing gear. We had to crash land on the runway like the ass end of nowhere.
Traffic is backed up for 7 miles due to an overturned semi hauling the absurdity of what we've done. The driver was being strung up.
The TSA has made new rules mandating the absurdity of what we've done on every commercial flight.
When I saw the absurdity of what we've done I was scared, but when it started coming toward me, pulling off pants, I went white as a sheet!

 
 
2017 Jan 6 at 19:06 PST
SuperJer
Websiteman

2005 Mar 20 • 5902
threatening my wife and child v

The new Ford F-750 with more torque than threatening my wife and child.
Threatening my wife and child isn’t getting old, but I sure am!
Experts said that based on preliminary data, threatening my wife and child appears to have occurred on the Puente Hills thrust fault.
Wine tasters describe this Pinot Grigio as having silky hints of the winning lottery numbers and a mouthfeel like threatening my wife and child.
The three techniques of Sumo Wrestling: A big mean dookie on deck, threatening my wife and child and spongy flesh.
The police failed to catch the fleeing suspect because of threatening my wife and child.

 
 
2017 Jan 6 at 19:10 PST
Nezumi
Asshole Admin

1-Up Medal
2005 Mar 26 • 553
175 ₧
expressing his glands v

The cruiseliner struck the seedy underbelly and lost power, leaving hundreds of vacationers to deal with expressing his glands.
Early rugby’s rules: carry the ball as a pinch, score points by expressing his glands, and rhythmic pounding shall not be on the field.
Expressing his glands brings butt sounds to a child’s face.
My financial analyst has advised me to invest my fortune in expressing his glands.
At the book signing, George R.R. Martin signed my copy of ‟A Song of Expressing His Glands”! I shook his hand and it felt like expressing his glands.
Squad, circle up. It’s time to talk expressing his glands.

 
 
2017 Jan 6 at 21:50 PST